NEW! Simp Or Sucker? You Be The Judge.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Don't Be So Critical Of Yourself

A couple of weeks ago, I was helping this lady load some merchandise into her car. This car was a small sporty Lexus. She had a lot of stuff and stuff that was too big to fit in her little-ass sports car. I tried all kinds of adjustments to make the packages fit but at the same time, I wanted to be careful NOT to scratch the car or damage the merchandise. I said, "Ma'am, I don't think all this stuff is going to fit. These packages are kinda bulky."

She kept on piling the stuff she had in her hands in the car - not leaving me ANY room for my stuff (the stuff I had to put in there) - and said, "Oh, it'll fit. If I can get my fat ass in this car, I know this stuff will fit in there." We laughed. But, that ass didn't look half bad.

She was bootylicious.

She had to be about 40-something, but she was attractive, and thick. Now, don't get me wrong, she wasn't a "knock-out", but she had potential.

I think most people, when they get a certain age, lose a little bit of their confidence and are resigned to believe they aren't attractive anymore. That's how she probably felt, I'm sure.

You could tell she was a babe back in her day but she just let herself go. She seemed to have on an expensive business suit, but it was too big and a little baggy. You could still see that curvacious booty but she looked sloppy. Her hair was a mess. She looked like she just threw her make-up on that morning and didn't care where it landed. She had nice features so I'm not sure why she needed it. Anyway, none of that stuff was working for her at all.

Maybe she didn't care or maybe she was too busy to care. Or, maybe she needs a "style coach". Who knows?

But, I thought about what she said about her being fat and I didn't think she was all that fat. She had a little bit of a gut, but nothing a few sit-ups couldn't cure. Or, maybe a diet plan. Hell, maybe it was all that suit she was wearing. She had on so much material that she thought she was fat.

And that's what I want to talk about. Not fats and materials but people who have a negative perception of themselves and how they look.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you that looks aren't important, because to many people (probably most people), good looks ARE important! Many people choose their mates based on beauty, height, body type, hair length, facial features, overall style, etc. Most people will tell you that personality is important - and it is - but they won't know WHAT your personality is like until they spend a few minutes or a few days getting to know you. THEN, your personality might be more important to them than how you look.

We ALL make judgments about other people based on their appearance. All of us don't do it all the time. But, there ARE times when we look at another person and believe they may be wealthy, snobby, poor, thuggish, honest, or a nerd. But if YOU'RE that person being judged, why should you give a damn??? DO You. Don't worry about what other people think about how you look if you're satisfied with it. Do you think that lady REALLY gives a damn that I thought she was attractive or that she dressed sloppy??? Probably not. But, she was self-conscious about her weight... Why??? Some people out there REALLY don't know how attractive they are. Do you know how many men (and women) would love to get their hands on a woman who's thick like that???

Now, it's good that she can laugh about it and keep going with her life, but I wonder if she doesn't feel romantically undesirable because of her weight?

Too MANY people out there worry about their weight. If it bothers you, then fine. Do whatever you need to do to feel better about yourself. But there are a ton of people out there ready to love you for EXACTLY the way you are - if you'll stop worrying and feeling shy because of your weight and body type. It doesn't matter if you're big, skinny, tall, or short, there are PEOPLE out there who fantasize about someone like you.

I've told you before: I see all kinds of couples with all TYPES of people matched-up together. Old and Young. Short Men and Tall Women. Fat and Skinny. Old and Older. Beauties and Beasts. Thugs and Princesses. Interracials. Gay. I see it all. Some ovem' DON'T look good together in MY opinion. But, they don't give a damn about the people on the outside looking in! Whatever THEY saw in each other is all that counts! And, there are people out there that will feel the same way about you as long as you're approachable or willing to approach them.

Let me say this...

You don't have to be extremely pretty to feel good about yourself.

Can you imagine how bad beautiful people feel about getting old? They really worry about it. Don't you know some of them get paranoid about wrinkles? The beauty industry right now is making a killing off of those people who are trying to save themselves from Old Age and Father Time. A lot of us regular Janes and Joes are lucky we don't have to have to worry about that crap. Well, damn near look the same all of our lives.

Too many people put TOO MUCH emphasis on their looks. Worried that they don't look good enough or that they will get passed over for someone who's prettier. It happens, but it doesn't happen all the time. YOU have to stand out and command attention with your presence.

Now, I mentioned all those negative things I saw about that woman with the little red sports car but... I still think she's attractive and desirable. And, I'm not saying that just because she has a cute face and a phat ass.

Although I didn't mention it, I liked her personality as well. It was sexy. She was funny and cracked a few jokes while she had me running around all over the place to hunt down all the crap she wanted to buy. She was confident in asking for what she wanted. She even had me go to the supervisor twice so that she could purchase some Christmas displays that we had and she never even blinked an eye at the price. (Of course, we gave her a discount anyway, but I'm just saying.) And, you could tell that the woman was focused and about her business. She was a go-getter and KNEW what she wanted. She said she had to make a few purchases, get it done, and get home, and that's what happened.

This crazy-ass broad even had the NERVE to park her car right in front of the main entrance doorway and come in to shop! When I went out to load that car up, I said "Damn! I know this crazy woman didn't park her car right here in front of the main entrance and come in here and start shopping!" But, it was her. And, she had to have been in there for at least forty-five minutes if not an hour! Any sane person would've found a parking space.

I could only laugh. You have to give a woman like that credit, because that shows she got spunk. She just didn't give a damn. Who in their right mind parks their car - BLOCKING THE MAIN ENTRANCE DOORS - to go shopping???

I don't know about you, but that's a real turn-on for me. I like a woman with balls - figuratively speaking. And so do a lot of other romantics out there. It's not always about what you LOOK like. Confidence and overall style will truly win out every time. Honestly, men and women notice different things when it comes to what they prefer in a mate. Some people will find you attractive based solely on your personality and potential. How you make THEM feel. Nobody has completely the same tastes and preferences in everything.

If you ask 10 different men what they prefer in a woman, you'll get 10 different answers. And some lists will be longer than others.

If you ask 10 different women what they prefer in a man, you'll get 10 different lists. And some will be longer than others.

If you ask 10 different people what they prefer in a man or woman, and all them give you the same answers, they either don't know what they want, or they don't have much experience. Because, as you meet different people, the list changes. It fluctuates and gets longer and shorter and longer and shorter as you meet and experience more people. People are attracted to different things.

Each of us has something that's stands out and is attractive to someone else.

There are INDIVIDUAL QUALITIES you have that makes you attractive too. You just have to bring those special qualities out. Many people keep their beauty hidden under a cloud of shyness, fear, and low self-esteem. They doubt themselves. Their lack of trust in others being honest makes them have no faith in themselves. They have a hard time finding true love because they quit before they even start trying.

If you're going to find Love, or if you expect Love to find you, the worse place you can wait is under a rock. You can't find it if you're hiding from it. It's like a blessing. You can't receive it if you're too afraid to open up your hand.

So, you have to bring those good qualities out where they can shine and radiate good vibes and attract good prospects for love, romance, and friendship. If there's something about yourself you don't feel good about change it! Or, at least change your perspective of it.

What do you do??? Whatever you have to do to improve your Confidence!

* Improve your social skills and conversation skills if you have to

* Stand tall and walk tall and FEEL Taller

* Realize that Beauty never guarantees you the Love, Desires, or Dreams that you're looking for

* Rememeber that Style and Personality is more important that Beauty

* Realize that Beauty has nothing to do with Sex-appeal, Style, and Class

* Remember that Beauty never guarantees Happiness or that you will come out on Top

* Realize that Intelligence and Style are very sexy too

* Speak up and speak from your diaphram - be aware of this at all times

* Realize that everyone is not judging you

* Realize that everyone will face rejection many times in their lives but the winners and people who are most happy are people who keep on trucking and enjoying life

* Take heed, and remember that being cute doesn't always make you special - at least not in everyone's eyes

* Associate with people who respect you and who make you feel empowered

* Associate with people who WANT you to have fun and have a good time

* Do the things that make you happy and that keep you entertained

* Travel - locally and out of town if you can so you'll be well-rounded, in the know, and have more to talk about and offer

* Stay in the know - keep up with news (family, community, work, local, national)

* Be sure your style fits your personality

* Get a new hairstyle or facial hairstyle if YOU feel that will help

* Learn how to cook - everyone appreciates someone who can cook and it's a good topic

* Remember: Life is about situations and it's how you deal with those situations that makes you a winner or loser - DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR KNOWLEDGE

* Get in the habit of saying "NO" to deals and requests you don't like or agree with

* Use positive affirmations whenever you can

* Realize that ANYTHING you want to do well requires practice - this includes looking good for the public and your fans

* Have a major goal at all times - keep working towards something great and important

* Go to seminars or workshops that teach to improve your confidence or public speaking

* Stay away from people who make you feel inferior or who try to dominate you until you're strong enough to stand up for yourself or walk away without feeling shamed - tell them to kiss your butt and keep moving. Ignore it and DO YOU.

And I could go on for days I guess but it's not necessary. Open your eyes and look around. The proof that everyone loves a great personality is EVERYWHERE. The main thing to do is work on your weaknesses. What makes YOU feel inferior or critical of yourself? Get it out of your life!

That's what you should want to work on - CONFIDENCE and HAPPINESS. And, if you aren't working on that, then you MUST be happy with who you are. Now, all you have to do is let someone love you who's happy with it too.

- loveqna

Finding Love In The Workplace

Do you think it's a good idea to get involved with a co-worker?

If you don't, you're not alone...

Most of the people I know would say "Heeell naw. I'd never hook-up with anyone from work." But, many people still do it, don't they?

One of my old supervisors once told me, "Boy, Never get your two "P"s from the same place." That's your paycheck and your...... well, you know.

I've never followed that rule.

If I see a fine-ass single co-worker - and she's giving me "the eye" - I'm going in. Why not. No one can predict whether the relationship will be a success or failure. And who knows, that person you're working side-by-side with may be your Soulmate. You don't know if he (or she) IS or ISN'T until you get to know this little cutie-pie. That's a fact no matter WHERE you meet each other.

Hell, if the guy or girl is looking good and smelling good all the time, and has a nice personality, SOMEbody is gonna make a move and ask him or her out on date - then, YOU might miss out on a good thing.

If he or she is showing interest, why not make a move?

At my last job, there were people dating, hooking up, married couples, and flirting going on all over the place. At my current job - it's the same thing. Every place I've worked has had people who were involved in one way or the other. With Supervisors getting in on the action too.

Let's face it, there are a LOT of lonely people out there - And people looking for Love. And, if those people aren't getting the love and affection they need at home or making a "love connection" in bars, on the Net, out in public, or through family and friends, they might end up making a connection at work.

Your job is like your second home and your co-workers are like your second family - or at least, distant relatives. These people may have a FEW things in common with you - or some interesting stories, or good advice.

Some of these people we talk to about our problems, or their problems, or drama in our relationship or marriage, or bad days, or traffic. Or, you share jokes with some of these people, stories about your kids, stories about your past, places to find bargains, news of the day, or stories and issues about screwball customers, lazy co-workers, and sorry-ass supervisors.

And let's face it, work can be boring. So, people tease each other, flirt, help each other once and a while.

These things bring people closer together in one way or the other.

But, there is a downside also. Some people are perverts. Some are creepy. Some are too aggressive. Some are just downright obnoxious.

Be careful that you don't become one of these people if you are considering trying to make a "love connection" on the job. These people are the reason why they intalled the "sexual harassment policies". And, it's a good idea since some people go a little TOO far and get carried away with their "romantic invitations".

Hell, one place I worked fired TWO people for sexual harassment. One was a man. One was a woman. I don't know EXACTLY happened in the case of the man except that he was saying whatever was on his mind to a sexy supervisor (that jackass). But, the woman grabbed the balls of one of the co-workers in her department. She actually "got a whole hand full of balls and all." I'm certain they were horsing around and flirting with each other. But, unlucky for her, the BIG Boss was passing by the cubicle at the same time and saw it all. Talk about poor timing...

But a lot of people toy with each other and flirt on the job like that. I've seen it. I've even seen grown men frolic and play and grope each other and hump on each other all the time on the job. I don't play that sh*t. I don't play on the job AT ALL. Strictly business. I don't do it. I don't want any guys grabbing me or trying to wrestle me or whatever. They can have it. It's funny as hell though sometimes.

I used to wonder what their wives or girlfriends might think to see 30, 40, and 50 year old men running around on the job groping their work-buddies. ??? I'd like to see the expression on both partners' faces when the woman walked in and caught him in the act. I bet the shock on the both of their faces would be funny as hell... lol. The woman would stop dead in her tracks...

"CHARLES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!"

"Uh, Uh... Baby, we're just horsin' around." hehehe.

And, people wonder why "Production" is down.

Anyway...

Let me tell you why finding love on the job is not a bad idea - if your company allows it.

For one, if two people are interested in each other and they WANT to get involved, they're going to do it - and no company policy is going to stop them. And, some of them manage to keep it a secret and work together fine with no problems whatsoever.

Some people don't believe a husband and wife should be in business together, but some of them make it work. And, they go on to establish a FAMILY business.

So, Love CAN work in the workplace but it takes two people who are understanding, rational, driven, and compatible.

When I met my Ex (She dumped me again), it was on the job. We got along very well. BUT, She was always in my department wanting to talk. She was well-known as a hard worker, smart, and she knew the production process inside and out. She had worked almost every position IN the place except management. I was new in my position. So, when she came over wanting to chit-chat, it would distract me and I'd start screwing up. That made me want her to stay away. Plus, my supervisor would always gawk when he saw her over there talking to me. He didn't know we were dating, but you know how supervisors are: The want you to work and not talk while you're on the clock. Plus, on a positive note, he wanted to make sure I was doing okay. But sometimes, when she came over, I'd screw up, and he'd come running over like the place was on fire to help get the machine unstuck. I said "Damn!" She'd be in the mix trying to help out. The machine operator would be pissed off and he'd have to come back there and help. And my poor dumbass would be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to figure out what the hell to do. It was embarrassing... And, it was frustrating because, for a while, I was ruining the stats almost every night. Constantly. And not getting my paperwork done. I just knew they were going to get rid of my ass. lol. So, it started to piss me off a little bit when she was always coming over to talk.

After that passed, the "jealousy bug" reared it's ugly head. If I talked to another woman or girl in that place, she'd be angry as hell and talk sh*t. She'd accuse me of flirting or say that I should avoid those girls. And, they were her so-called friends!

Then, she wanted me to quit smoking. And, she knew I smoked before we started dating.

Then, her attitude caused conflicts with a few of the other people in the workplace. She hates men especially but she had it out with a couple of the women in that place too. I thought she was wrong, but you know I couldn't say that.

Then she would take long breaks and felt like I had that option too. I was still new and only worked with one other person and we had to relieve each other for breaks and cover for each other on the machine. So, we had to do the work of two people when one of us was there. It can be done but it messes up the stats and you have move faster and walk and walk and walk back and forth to keep your eyes on both ends of the machine.

She finally, said that she couldn't take working with me anymore and changed shifts. I was happy as hell.

But, I had relationships with a few other ladies on other jobs before that - and I had no problems. Well, except for one. But, we still remained together for a few years after that and would've gotten married if I wasn't so dumb at the time.

But, let me tell you why I think most of those relationships worked and how you can possibly make yours work if you decide to get involved with someone on the job.

Again, this is solely based on my personal experiences and observations. You or someone you know may have different opinions based on your experiences, but here goes...

It could work as long as one partner doesn't expect favoritism or special treatment because you two are dating, involved, or married. When one of the partners feel they deserve special treatment because they are sleeping with "the boss", they don't work as hard and they'll come in late or think they can leave when they want or some even expect you to get rid of people THEY don't like. Or, they want to hang around in the office all the time.

It can work as long as one person is not a jealous lover or over-protective. This person will make your work-life hell. They'll confront you all the time or make you feel like you can't associate with friends or friendly co-workers who THEY feel may be a threat to the relationship. They'll try to control you at work and talk sh*t when you get home. And, you definitely don't need that in your life.

It can work as long as both partners are strong enough to push aside any advances from other people without the other partner stepping in. And the other partner must have enough trust that his or her mate can handle the situation with class and tact without causing an uproar. The person making the advances may not know that the two are involved. I gave a girl a compliment on her style one day, someone told her boyfriend and he thought I wanted his woman. He started interrogating me. And he was my supervisor! Damned Fool! But, he became one of my good friends too, so... lol. That dumbass.

It can work as long as both partners are hard workers or if at least one of the partners is well liked by managemaent. I've heard managers and supervisors talk bad about a co-worker's wife but never confronted her or attacked her simply because her husband was (probably) the hardest working person in the entire complex. It's a shame that dude died from over-working himself. No jokes intended.

It can work as long as both partners are mature enough to know to do their job and not cause strife or grief within the workplace. This situation may lead the other partner getting involved. Then, BOTH partners could be out of job and NOBODY will be able to bring home any bacon. This is also the reason why most companies don't like people getting involved at work.

It can work as long as both partner don't bring their problems from home to the workplace and spite each other or talk about their problems with each other to other co-workers. This will turn the co-workers against the "bad guy" or girl and cause drama for a while. And it might even help cause a break-up. That happened to me. Those chickenheaded hoodrat girls even tried to hook my girl up with some pretty-boy friend of theirs. That really ticked me off. But, as I said, we stayed together for years after that incident.

It can work as long as the partners are honest, committed to each other, devoted, and no one is playing games or flirting with other people. If you decide to date someone on the job, make sure the person you're interested in is not a tease, promiscuous, or someone who loves to flirt with every pretty face he or she sees. That sh*t will drive you crazy. I've seen this happen on the job before and it turned into a love triangle that caused two people to get fired.

It can work if the partners work in different departments.

Sometimes working different shifts has it's drawbacks because you know you won't see much of each other except on days off or for a few hours each day - this can lead to loneliness for one of the partners.

If the job doesn't pay much money for either partner, this can be drawback also since money IS one of the primary causes of unhappiness in a relationship.

It can work as long as neither partner abuses the business or neglects the business. If one of the partners is really trying while the other is spending money and bullsh*ttin', this is definitely going to lead to trouble and probably the downfall of the business.

It can work as long as both partners have the same goals and want to work hard to achieve long-term goals and promote the growth of the business.

It can work as long as both partners communicate decisions and events (like negotiations) and keep each other in the know. Like any business or relationship between equal partners, each partner should keep the other partner informed.

It can work as long as both partners understand their strengths and weaknesses, each other's strenths and weaknesses, and are able to allow each other to use their strengths to help build the business.

It can work as long as the partners aren't jealous of each other or each other's talents, skills, or connections and allow each other to use their resources to help grow the business.

It can work as long as neither partner lets his or her ego cause him or her to abuse him or herself, the other partner, the business, or the customers.

Now, I know what you may be thinking.

This may sound like a lot of preaching or coaching, but if you're thinking about hooking up with someone on the job, but you're having doubts, I say: "Don't hold back! Go for it!"

Just be sure that you can handle that situation and that you're not the jealous type. Be sure you're hooking up with someone that doesn't cause a lot of drama or someone who may be a player.

Take your time and get to know the person as a friend first and see what happens from there.

- loveqna

Sunday, December 19, 2010

How To Tell If A Man Or Woman Is Playing Games

Let's be honest with each other...

Aren't you sick and tired of men and women who play romantic games?

Well, in this post I'm going to spill the beans on the game these pretenders and so-called wannabee players try to run on the innocent romantics out there looking for a relationship and love.

This won't be a comprehensive list, but if you pay attention and observe - AND keep your awareness level high, you'll be able to spot the bullsh*t before those scallywags play you out, give you the run-around, and lead you on a path to wasting your time, energy, and money.

But, you have to be careful!

Many of these manipulators and teasers have some good game and will lie like hell to get what they want out of you. They'll butter you up and mislead you. They'll flatter you, court you, and tell you everything they think you want to hear to seduce you. They are good at deception because they practice deceiving people constantly. People who are lonely and those who are desperate for love or a long-term relationship are especially susceptible to these games because they let their guards down in hopes of finding love. So, you HAVE to be somewhat detached and rational if you want to avoid the B.S.

So, for starters, before you approach a prospect for a date or romance or in hopes getting to know him or her for a long-term relationship, make sure you are "proper". Make sure YOUR game is tight. Have your confidence level high. Be in a good mood and radiate good vibes, but Don't rush in with the intention of expecting to meet the love of your life! Just enjoy the moment. Remember! You don't know ANYTHING about this girl or guy. So, go in with the intention of having a good time (some fun) and just getting to know him or her and MAYBE setting up a date or phone call for later on. You could even say that this is the "practice field" for developing your conversation and social skills. Just think of it as that.

If you've ever been involved with anyone on the Net. Or, thought that you've found true love on there only to have your heart broken or disappointment take hold because the person was NOTHING like what he or she claimed to be, then you totally understand what I'm talking about.

Now, the simple games are: teasing, tricking, and faking.

Teasers will flatter you, talk sexy, and lead you on just for fun and waste your precious time. They'll keep you hanging around and toy with you simply because they enjoy the attention and they have nothing better to do. They may think you're cute but, if someone else more interesting comes along, they'll ignore you and dismiss you like you're trash. This is a game that many women play. To them it's entertainment. Some of them will toy with your emotions and make you jump through hoops just to see how far you will go to try to please them and win their heart. But, don't be fooled, there are badboys out there who play this foul game too.

You can spot these people because they are all talk, talk, and more talk, but when you start talking dates or asking for their phone number, they act coy and play dumb. These are the same people who will give you a FAKE phone number or who will promise to call but don't. Pay attention. If they're playing TOO hard to get, let him or her know that you ain't got no time for foolishness and games, and move on.

Tricks will try to turn you into a trick by asking you for favors, or money, or they want you to SPEND your hard-earned money in order for them to talk to you - Or for you to get to first, second, or third base. And, they still might not give you the time of day! This is very true in night clubs and bars. If you've ever wanted to talk to a girl in a club - and she DEMANDS a drink first - oh, get to steppin'. There's nothing wrong with buying a woman a drink - whether you're feeling her or not, but if you HAVE to buy a drink just to get a conversation... move on. I was in a night club a few years ago and asked this girl to dance. That hag told me that if I wanted a dance, I'd have to buy her drink first! I said, "Damn! You ain't even worked up a sweat yet and you wanna drink already??? You're fine, but I don't deal with pimps!" And, I bounced. I went right up to the next chick I saw (she wasn't as cute but she looked okay)and asked her to dance, and we went on the floor. That's what I do. I don't chase a woman at a club. There are plenty in there. So, You don't have to put up with that sh*t!

You can spot these people easily. They'll ask for favors early on. Some will start begging within the hour. Some will bless you with a favor or gifts just so that you will be willing to give them more in the long run. Be wary of their hidden agendas. Their goal is to satisfy their immediate wants and needs, but if they can't, they'll work on you and keep you around while you provide them with dinner dates, bill money, transportation needs, trinkets, errands, labor, etc. But, when you need THEM, they're busy or you can't get in touch with them. These people will suck your bank account dry and use you up for your time if you don't keep your eyes open.

Fakers come in all shapes and sizes and have different goals. Some want you for a one-night stand. Some want you for money. Some want ONLY your money. Some want to control you and use you for convenience and support. Some just want to escape their current lifestyle. Some don't seem to know what the hell they want - you or their Ex or to be single.

This could be a list in itself. Fakers are...

* players - will use you mainly for sex or convenience

* con-men/con-women - will get you to invest in a scheme and steal your money

* scam artists - will get you to invest in a scheme or make you fall in love and steal whatever you've got

* manipulators - will abuse you for whatever they can get - including your love

* cheaters - aren't satisfied with anything except companionship or sex

* wafflers - don't know WHAT they want and will drive you crazy going back and forth between you and an Ex - or trying to decide if they want love or the single life

* pick-up artists - are like players but usually only want sex - some may be looking for something long-term

The only thing you can do to avoid being played by these players is to take your time and get to know him or her. Be friendly but, Don't allow him or her to do you ANY favors and don't feel obligated to do him or her any favors. Don't accept any gifts or trinkets that might make you sway your judgment. If their birthday comes up, get a card. Dinner maybe. But, don't give the impression that you're going to be his or her sponsor or the begging won't stop. If he or she starts guilt-tripping you, recognize that THAT is the sign of an abuser and you need to move on - as fast as you can.

Now, some people are generous and don't mind helping someone they care about. Some people don't mind sharing their good fortune with others. If that's your style, that's fine. But, be prepared to keep doing it if you want to keep this person in your life. And, I won't say that he or she WON'T change, but I wouldn't put faith in it. If your game is tight and You can establish some sort of equality in the relationship, then you may have a chance of winning his or her heart.

Many people can recognize these mind games at the first introduction. Some people need 3 months or so before they realize they've made a mistake. Again, take your time to get to know the prospect and KEEP YOUR AWARENESS LEVEL ON HIGH. If you remember that, your game will always be tight and you won't get played for sucker by these no-good scallywags.

- loveqna

Why Guys Have To Make The First Move - Most Of The Time

There are some men that really expect a woman to approach them rather than them approaching the woman. I mentioned this in an earlier loveqna blog post, but I have to bring it back up because I KNOW FOR A FACT that there are women out there that aren't afraid to approach a man if he's what the woman really wants.

True, some guys feel a little uneasy about this. Some are even turned off by it. Some think women who approach men are possible psychos and weirdos. It's a double-standard and confusing as hell, I know. Because, here you have guys who are TOO AFRAID to approach a woman but when SHE approaches one of them, the guy runs off because he scared that she's a nut! It's like he becomes the girl who's paranoid that anyone who approaches is a potential stalker.

Even if they're both in a night club, this can happen. But how and why???

First, I'm going to give you a list of why people reject romantic attempts, then I'll list THE REASONS WHY MEN MUST MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.

And, I hope none of the ladies take offense to this because men get rejected for the same reasons.

Okay, here'S why a person may get rejected after approaching a prospect:

* Too agressive and too far into the man's or woman's personal space
* Afraid the prospect may be dangerous or a potential hazard
* Afraid the prospect is a player or "wild and loose" with the "goods"
* Appearance or style is not what the guy or girl wants
* Personality doesn't seem to be what the guy or girl wants
* Wrong pick-up line at the wrong time
* Involved and faithful
* Not sure how to respond to your advances
* Afraid of what his or her friends may think
* Making a public spectacle of the situation
* Hygiene is not up to par

Does any of this sound familiar? Have you turned anyone down because the situation met any of these criteria? I'll bet you have, and if you haven't yet, you will at some point in your life.

Now, let me tell you about a small research project I participated in recently...

I went on a Q. and A. site and posted a question for the ladies. I wanted to know why most of them didn't approach men. Of course, I got the obvious answer from a couple of posters: "Because men are supposed to approach." I'm not even going to comment on that crap right now. But, luckily, there were some honest ladies on the site that gave me a couple of honest answers that I would now like to share with you. And, here they are...

Men have to make the first move because many women:

* Are afraid of rejection

* Don't want to make a fool of themselves

* Don't want to be embarrassed by the guy in front of others

* Don't want to approach a man who is already involved or married

* Don't feel comfortable approaching strangers

* Believe the man will think negatively of them

* Doesn't want to seem desperate or too agressive

* Feel it's not lady-like to approach a man or chase him

* Believe in the cultural rule that a man must pursue a woman not vice versa

And, for these reasons, MEN, we must stay in "hot pursuit" if we are going to get the girl of our dreams - or get our greedy little hands on any of that golden booty.

We got to get out there and put our bids in and let those ladies know that we are worth their time and affections. Only a few are going to come to us, so we have no choice but to play by the old rules until women take complete control of the Earth and have to bid against each other for OUR love. What else CAN we do???

Good Luck on your mission, and I'll see you soon...

- loveqna

5 Reasons Why You Keep Getting Your Heart Broken

Sometimes, the "love" in a relationship won't last no matter HOW hard you try. And, there could be any number of reasons why a lover or partner wants to end his or her relationship. The only one who truly knows what the reason (or reasons) may be is the person who wants to move on. BUT...

The partner who was "dumped" in the relationship should have SOME idea why this happened also.

Read on, and let me explain why.

During the relationship, there are always telling signs that the relationship is going downhill when it's going downhill.

A man doesn't have to be told he isn't spending enough time with his woman or that he isn't romantic enough. He knows it! He can make excuses about having to work all the time and having to do this and that around the house and being tired and all, but he's still going to hear some complaints from the woman that they don't do anything and that she's bored with their lifestyle. And, if he isn't hearing it, she's probably on her way out the door and out of his life. She's not going to feel sorry for him.

I can guarantee you this also...

A woman doesn't have to be told that she isn't showing enough affection or that she's "letting herself go" and losing her sex-appeal. She knows it. She can take the advice of all of those gurus and TV psychologists who say that the man should love her for her personality, but some guys don't want to hear that crap! They want a woman that's sexy and passionate when they're in the mood for love.

If the two are arguing all the time, they should know there's a problem. If one of the partners is calling less or not making an effort to see his or her mate, you know there's a problem. And you have to address it or it could mean the end of the relationship.

Hell, I got "the boot" several times! And, I know why! Almost every time a broad kicked my ass to the curb, it was because I wasn't showing her enough attention. (My mind was elsewhere.) I guess I just didn't care enough. Or, at least I didn't show it. They'd complain that I wasn't around enough or that I didn't call, or that I never made an effort to spend quality time with them. I knew they were right. I wasn't a player or anything. I was just lazy as hell when it came to making the effort to be romantic and attentive. I didn't try hard enough.

But, you live and you learn...

Now, let me give you five reasons why some people get dumped and abandoned in their relationships so that you can use this information to reduce the chances of it happening to you - especially if you find the love of your life.

* Not taking enough time to get to know the person you're dating or trying to get involved with. You're moving TOO fast and you end up choosing the wrong mate - one who likes to play games, or a waffler, or one who can't stay out of the streets or out of the clubs (they'd rather party and have fun than commit to a serious relationship).

* Your personality or habits turn him or her off. This person might be really "into" at first but once he or she got to know you, he felt you two weren't compatible. Or, it was something about your looks, habits, personality, style, hygiene, priorities, or interests, that turned him or her off. This often happens to nice guys and girls but it is also the downfall of many people with a strong character who are serious-minded that they give you the creeps.

* You neglect your lover and don't show him or her enough attention. If you neglect with love, conversation, affection, support, or time, these things will definitely cause a lover to leave the relationship or even cheat.

* You have too much baggage. Your love interest may have known this before you got together but thought that he or she could deal with it.

* You have or cause too much drama. Do you remember how quick J-Lo left Diddy's ass after that clubbing incident? That's one way to get rid of a hottie. A nagging or controlling lover or spouse can turn a lover off too. And jealousy is probably at the top of the list. So, if you're a jealous psycho, a nagging love-bird, or a control-freak, you can hang it up. Until you control your ways, you ain't gonna NEVER keep good love in your life.

Now, of course, there are more reasons why lovers leave, but the best thing to do is to get to know the lover and strive to keep getting to know him or her, so you'll know what his or her needs, preferences, desires, and fantasies are AND whether or not YOU want to fulfill them.

Also, try to keep yourself looking good. Stay sexy. Be what you were when you two first met. You know the old saying: "whatever you did to getem' that's what you have to do to keepem'." It's true. It doesn't matter if you're getting old. That's no excuse. You still have to step your game up and turn on the charm.

The effort you put into a relationship won't ever guarantee that you'll get what you deserve out of it, but it WILL reduce your chances of losing what you've got.

- loveqna

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Style And Swag That Will Put You In The Zone

There's nothing wrong with having your own personal style. The main thing is confidence anyway. And, if you personality shines and you give off a good vibe, that will always outweigh appearances. But, Let's face it...

Some of us need some style and swag in our lives! That's why we ain't gettin' those dates and meeting the man or woman of our dreams. How many good prospects do you think you're going to attract if your weave is flying all over the place or the heels of your shoes are busted? How many good prospects do you think you're going to get if you look like you've just staggered out of the wilderness after 20 years or just woke up looking like you've been on a 10-day drunk???

Have some style and class. If you got it, good. If you don't, get it quick. It will definitely give your love-life a boost!

I know some of you may be satisfied with the way you look, but ain't nothing wrong with making those other guy's and girl's mouths water!

When you're sharp, and looking good, and smelling fresh, you expand your options tremendously. Nobody wants a slob right off the bat! You've got to work your way into it!

First, get the girl (or guy)! THEN you can relax and let your hair down. That's the way to do it.

I'm not saying that you have to dress up in a suit or a ballroom gown everyday to be a sexy piece of eye-candy! Not at all. But, your style has to have some sort of attraction and chemistry to it that fits your personality and tastes. It has to shine.

Your Confidence Level plays a HUGE part in you having style and having fun. Overall, try to enjoy yourself. Have fun and you will look good. Develop the style you have now. Elevate it. And, Just let it flow.

When your style is flowing and you're feeling good, you radiate good vibes. And when you're radiating good vibes, the World takes notice.

So, check out some of the videos and articles I've been lucky enough to swipe off the Internet! They feature some great tips and suggestions from some of the most talented style coaches and gurus out there! And I'm sure they'll help you step up your game and put you in the Zone...

STYLE LINKS COMING SOON


- loveqna

Friday, December 17, 2010

Is Depression Ruining Your Love-Life?

Besides mosquitos, cockroaches, social animosity, and violence, Depression is high on the list of the things I hate. And, I know you must hate it too...

I hate on Depression because Depression ruins a lot of lives and relationships. Not only does it have the ability to turn you against YOURSELF. It can turn you against your family and friends, and it can turn your family and friends against you.

I can't stand it. Why do we even HAVE this emotion in psychological inventory?

Lots of things can cause Depression. My belief is: it depends on the person, his or her perspective of life, his or her perspective of social situations, and how he or she deals with social and personal situations. And don't forgot about including his or her habits and addictions. These things can play a part in a person's overall mood and vibe too.

I don't want to sound like some kind of quack or guru because I'm not. I'm just trying to learn as much about it as possible and pass on any information or references I think might be helpful in the fight against it.

I've had to fight it. I think more than a third of the world is dealing with it on a day-to-day basis. But, that is only personal speculation. I don't have any stats or survey results based on this. But, let me tell you why I believe this...

When I look at all of the news and reports about divorces, break-ups, infidelity, people struggling with long-distance relationships or military deployment, domestic violence, homicide-suicide deaths, and suicides - not to mention all of the other crap and fears we have to deal with - I can't help but wonder just how bad Depression REALLY is in our World right now.

There's a lot of people walking around here in a daze, right now, suffering from Depression because they feel they have no one to talk to about it. They know it's something people would rather sweep under the rug and not talk about because everyone has their own issues they're dealing with. So, they have to try to deal with it the best that they can. And, it's a struggle. Some of them carry this dark cloud around inside of them for years and years, trying to fight it or at least get out from up under it every once and a while, but it's tough.

What makes it worse is when none of your friends, or family members, or your spouse, seems to care. All they care about is that you "snap out of it" and "get on with your life". "Stop whining and do what you need to do to survive". And, sadly, for the most part, they're right. They don't understand what you're going through, but they're right.

We can't let Depression conquer us or make us stagnant or keep us from doing what we have to do to live. Other people - friends and family included - may give up on us, but we can't give up on ourselves. We can't lay around in a daze and depend on them to make our lives better or to support us for years while we're in a state of despair or feeling that Life is pointless. We have to get out and make moves and try to find a way to overcome this darkness and bitterness that we feel towards ourselves and/or Life.

We all know that Depression can keep you down, but we have to fight it and press onward. That's our main purpose in Life: To grow, elevate, and continue to move forward; To enjoy Life and the good times with all of the other people we love and care about.

But, how do we fight it and get back on track to enjoying The Good Life?

First, find the cause...

* Is it something or some THINGS that you fear?

* Is it something you want to get or achieve that you can't?

* Is it a fear of some future event?

* Is it something you wish you could change?

* Do you feel stuck in a situation and see no way out?

* Could it be your diet?

* Could it be your environment or surroundings?

* Is it the bad vibes of other people affecting you?

What is it?

Think about what it is that depresses you and KNOW exactly why it depresses you. Then, consider your options.

What can you do to change this situation?

What can you do to avoid a bad outcome?

And, if you can't avoid it, how can you deal with it when the time comes?

IF the time comes?

Since we can't predict the future so we don't know what will really happen. There may be an unexpected blessing.

If it's a past event, I know it's hard to forget. Hell, I'm dealing with past situations in my head every day of my Life. Sometimes, every few hours. Sometimes, every hour. And, if you're dealing with demons in the same fashion, I know those thoughts can last for several minutes or much much longer. But, there's nothing you can do about the past. That time is gone. The only thing you can do about it right now is pray and try to change what you CAN change today to make things better later on down the road. If there is nothing you do to redeem yourself, all you can do is pray about it and let it go. Ask forgiveness to whomever you need to ask it, and move on. You might not EVER forget what happened, but you can't let it break your spirit.

Some of us harbor past events while other people have moved on and forgotten all about them. There may be other people you want to get back at for doing you wrong, but if you can't, f*ck it. Don't let their evil ways destroy you inside. You might not ever forget, but you have to move on.

Sometimes Depression is caused by something we want or need but can't get or don't know how to get. I've asked a few people about this and do you know how they conquered this type of Depression? They gave up. Some of them just said the hell with whatever they were trying to get their hands on and settled for whatever they had at the moment. I'll be honest with you, I don't like that kind of thinking, BUT... some things in Life really aren't important enough to be worth stressing over. But, if you're like me and stubborn (I'm an Aries) and have to have whatever it is your heart desires, don't sit around worried about how you're going to get it. Make moves. Learn. Study. Travel. Develop connections. Make phone calls. Do whatever you have to do to improve your chances of getting what you want and need.

There's one important fact that I didn't realize until someone pointed it out to me and that was: Foods, what we drink, and our overall diet can affect our mood, drive, energy level, thinking, and ability to focus - just like vitamins, drugs, or drinks. So, think about changing or enhancing your diet and what you ingest.

The bad vibes of other people and your environment can also affect your drive, how you feel about yourself, and how you feel about life. I'm sure you know this, but step back and take a close look. What can you change to improve your environment? How can you deal with the bad vibes of othe people or block out the B.S. they throw your way?

Another thing you could do to fight Depression is to learn it, study, and help other people that might be suffering from it. Become a counselor or communicate with others in forums or on YouTube or start a blog about it. But, do it ONLY if you're passionate about it. Don't go that far if you're not ready for the responsibility and demands that go along with it. When people open up to me about their issues or problems, I listen and offer my opinions sometimes, but sometimes - they just want to vent or talk, so I let them do that too.

The final thing you could do is see a reputable therapist. I know. Many of us don't want to deal with doctors because we don't want to take medications that might make us sick or worse off than we already are. And we don't want to go to a doctor or mental health institution and have that "mental health" issue on our record. I know how you feel. It's scary to think that if we go to a clinic or something that we'll be labeled "crazy" or have to disclose to the world that we suffered from mental health issues in our past. But, on the upside, seeing a therapist IS supposed to be fashionable these days...

This is not an invitation to follow in my footsteps, BUT...

I'm holding out for as long as I can.

Some people suffer from forms of Depression that can't be explained. Maybe it's hereditary or has something to do with their genes or due to a traumatic experience, but it's sad that there's no real cure. I was at a party once and saw this guy who just grumbled like he was angry about something. I thought he was rappin' or something under his breath. You know some rap music has got some pretty angry lyrics, so I thought he was rappin'. Unfortunately, the hostess - which was a friend and his guardian - told us that he witnessed his friend get shot by a stray bullet and it traumatized him. So, for years, he had been like that. They tried giving him medication and therapy, but he won't snap out of it. He'll do everything she tells him to do and when she told him to stop making that noise, he stopped. But then he's moving around like he's not sure where to go, or he stares "out" with this blank look on his face. It's scary. And sad. I had to keep my eyes on him. I wasn't about to let him get the jump on me, Jack.

Ultimately, I don't think it's wise to sit alone in one place too long and think. Try to do things that make you happy. Do things that improve your life or that are fun. Participate in hobbies or interests that require you to use your mind to calculate and keep your awareness level kind of high. Exercise or run.

Take a look at one my past issues on How To Get Over A Break-Up. There are a few suggestions near the end of that post of a few things that can take your mind off of your troubles.

Now, like I said (and you know), I'm no expert. These are only my personal opinions. But, I offer them because I know that Depression can hurt relationships and cause arguments and drama. You could be hurting deep down and nobody would give a rats ass. All they want you to do is snap out of it and move on. Deal with it the best you can, and get help if you need to, and if your friends and lover doesn't think enough of you to try to help you, then after you cure your Depression, it may be time for you to cure yourself of that problem too.

- loveqna

Become A Pick-Up Artist To Meet The Man Or Woman Of Your Dreams

Honestly, I don't believe in that "pick-up artist" lifestyle.

Don't get me wrong, it's real. And, the stuff those "gurus" teach really works in the right situation. And, if you're targeting the "right" people.

It's the same old game guys have been using for years. Nothing's change. But, in the last 8 or 9 years it has become a phenomenon and a "science". An artform really.

But, what I don't like about "pick-up" is the idea of hounding people for sexual recreation. That's what a lot of people DON'T like about learning "pick-up techniques". Many of these gurus and their apprentices learn good social skills and use them for sexual manipulation the same way a sexual predator would. Don't go down that path if you can help it.

I don't believe in just being a ho just to be hoin'. I know sex has health benefits, but it's also risky... But, to each his (or her) own. And, if that's your bag - play on player.

Some of these new gurus have different techniques, but no matter what one guru says work best, game is game. And if you ain't Hugh Hefner or Margaret McDonald, you ain't doing sh*t no better than the next man (or woman). Like I said in one of my earlier posts Pick-up Lines And How To Meet And Greet almost anything works depending on the situation and your delivery. It's all about timing.

The reason why I recommend learning pick-up techniques is because they show you real world techniques that you can use to meet prospects and get dates versus getting tips from one of your friends or family members who's had very little dating experience and only about two or three girlfriends (or boyfriends) in his or her entire life.

But, I'm no "Pro" either. I don't have a system. I just go with the flow. I smile. I don't hesitate to speak-up and engage in conversation. Sometimes I flirt. I try to have a good time. And when I feel the "time" is right, I ask the girl for her number or out on a date.

I can't tell you a WHOLE lot about pick-up artistry, because I haven't studied it in detail. However, I DID buy an "audio book" online once after I read some of the great reviews about it. But that sh*t was so boring for the first 20 or 30 minutes, I couldn't stand it. It was a waste of my damn money. I deleted that sh*t.

I already had a girlfriend at the time, but I was curious. I wanted to see what it was all about. But, I don't even want to tell you what the name of that book was. It was supposed to be a best-seller. But, to me, it was crap. And, I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings if they bought it. But, like I said, other people bought it and it got great reviews so, it must have some effective tips SOMEWHERE in it.

Go online and look at a few videos first and get some quick tips. That way you can see the guru's body language and listen to his tone of voice and get an idea of how to dress and whatnot. Get familiar with the basics. Then, if you like what you see and hear, invest some of your hard-earned cash on a good book or DVD. It may help you find the girl or guy of your dreams.

Keywords for you to Google include:

"pick-up artist"
"how to pick-up women"
"how to attract men"
"how to meet men"
the game pick up artist (no quotations)
"mystery method"
"neil strauss"
"how to talk to women"

- loveqna

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

VIDEO/ADULT HUMOR - Why Women Stay Single...



Video provided by - oakley951

- loveqna

VIDEO/ADULT HUMOR - Why Men Don't Talk To Women

This video may piss some women off, but as you can see, it's truly how some guys feel. If you'll remember one of my earlier posts (Why Single Women Rarely Get Approached By Good Men) you'll start to understand that many men are experiencing this type of drama with women regularly. I don't agree with the ending in this video (and I don't think a lot of guys or gals should take it too seriously either... but overall, it's funny as hell.



Video provided by - ascarsner

VIDEO - Why Women are Crazy and Why Women Do Not Understand Men

I love this video. It's open and honest, but you have to break up the message to see the wisdom in it. It reveals many truths. Guys, especially pay attention. Girls are shy, reclusive, and feel awkward in social situations too, so don't think you're alone. We all just need to learn to communicate better with each other and not be too quick to agree with negative stereotypes. Listen, reflect, and learn from the good wisdom presented here.



Video provided by - FoxyArt

- loveqna

VIDEO/ADULT HUMOR - MISTER GOOGLE FIND ME AMERICAN WOMAN



Video provided by - savepapadizi

- loveqna

VIDEO - American Tourist Marries Rickshaw Driver (news article included)

September, 2009

PROOF that you can find love (or at least meet a good woman) anywhere if you're persistent and have the courage to ask...

I have searched for the outcome of this relationship to see if they were still together but I haven't found anything yet. Hopefully, they are still together. I believe in true love and I hope it lasts for a very long time.



Video provided by ABP NEWS

For more information: google "whitney ricksaw driver"

- loveqna

Here are the details and notes about this unique romantic experience as reported by some of the media...

It took only one week for a motorized rickshaw driver, Harish Hotala, to win the heart of a 26-year-old American tourist traveling in India. Whitney (her surname was not given by the "Mail Today" newspaper) hitched a ride in a rickshaw last week and married the driver a few days later. Whitney from Chicago met her prince charming in Jaipur in Rajasthan.

She hired this strapping young lad to take her on a tour of the city and "On the third day, he surprised her by popping the question:

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you", he told her. And she fell in love.

After meeting last Saturday they were married on Wednesday in a simple ceremony.
Whitney was pictured in the paper, standing with new husband Harish Hotala, wearing a traditional sari that covered her head.

But according to the "Mail Today" paper, Hotala was wasn't just your average rickshaw driver...

"Though a school dropout, he is fluent in English and owns three auto-rickshaws," it said.

After the ceremony, Whitney was to fly back to the US on September 30 to face the open arms of her parents. "My father was surprised but my mother took it sportingly," she said.

- loveqna

Sunday, December 12, 2010

How To Get Over A Break Up

I remember the very first time I got dumped...

I was literally in a daze. My mind was blank. I didn't know WHAT I was going to do next. I was in a state of disbelief. I felt broken and defeated. My ego was shattered also.

Her name was Charlene.

No matter what I tried to say to regain this girl's love, make her stay with me, and feel the way she felt when we first met - and no matter how much I begged - she just kept saying "No." And although my mind raced to search for something romantic to say to make her swoon and accept my apologies, I just couldn't find the right combination of words. So, I lost her.

I felt empty inside knowing that my next minutes, hours, and days would be spent without the girl whose personality, style, and companionship, I admired and was more than happy to endure.

Let me tell you how it happened...

I cared about this girl so much that I didn't want to seem clingy or intrusive. I wanted her to want me as much as I enjoyed being with her. She was a senior in high school. I was a freshman. She had more mature friends. Most of my friends were in the 10th grade. So, I thought it would please her to spend a little more time with her friends - people she had more in common with - than hanging with me all the time in the mornings before school and during lunch. But, I was wrong.

Usually, I walked her to her classes, but one day, she didn't wait for me. When I caught up with her, she was already in one of her classes, standing near her desk putting some of those girly hair comb things in her hair. She didn't even acknowledge me when I walked into the room. I knew something was wrong but I went in for a kiss anyway.

REJECTED.

She left my lips hanging like a pair of old sagging "boobs".

This was definitely not a good sign. And, she told me what was up...

She felt I was ignoring her and she was sick of it. She even said I embarrassed her a few times because there were times when she was with her friends that were with their boyfriends and girlfriends and she was alone. Then, there were times when she said she was waiting for me and I didn't show up. And, times she called me or waited for me to call and she didn't hear from me. So, she felt I didn't care. I hated that I did that - even to this day. But, I was practically new to the game of romance as this was my first serious "serious relationship". I had girlfriends before, but never a Relationship like this.

It was over and there was nothing I could do about it. Those last moments stayed stuck in my head for years.

That's how it is with break-ups and people you care about. The pain can last for a long time.

I had other "options" I could've taken, but for a while, I was completely "out of my mind". I didn't want anyone else. I wasn't interested in anyone else. I didn't want to do anything else. And, for a long time, I was just drifting along.

This chick had me hooked.

I was borderline depressed (or possibly completely depressed) and I didn't know it.

You see, there's a lot of things ("benefits") you lose when you suffer a break-up with someone - whether it's mutual or they break-up with you. Things like:

* Friendship and someone to feel close to
* Friendship and someone who understands you
* Someone to share your opinions, personal experiences, and secrets with
* Someone to share your observations and ideas with
* Someone to laugh and joke with
* Going on dates or chillin' with someone who enjoy the same things you do
* Someone to kiss
* Someone to hold and hold you
* Someone you can talk to about the drama you're having to deal with
* Being with someone you think is attractive - or beautiful - inside and out
* etc.

Some people don't think about all those things you'll miss when they tell you to "get over it and move on", because many of them don't HAVE that in their relationship. All they have is lies, dates, and/or sex. They turn to their buddies for all of their intimate feelings and quality time.

Many people say: "Time heals all wounds." Man... That's bullsh*t. Some things you don't get over. Some things, you don't forget. Sometimes "Time" only prolongs the pain. The only TRUE statement is: "Only Time will tell if you've gotten over the person or not."

The only thing you can do is be strong, man-up, go on with your life, and take what you've from the experience into your next relationship and hope that you don't make the same mistakes twice.

But, I wouldn't whine about it if I did. And, you shouldn't either.

When you meet the RIGHT ONE - your SoulMate - you'll straighten up and get your act together so that you don't screw-up, trust me. Those negative experiences will come back to you instinctively and keep your ass out of trouble and on the right track. So, go through the emotions and pain, but keep on living. You'll get it right eventually - and at the right time.

Each one of us has MANY "options" for Love or a romantic connection. They'e out there. And as you continue to live, you will have even MORE "options". Better "options". True, it depends on timing. But, it also depends on your willingness to go after those "options". There are MANY people that you have a chance of dating and getting to know - no matter HOW you look, what you have (or DON'T have), or what your personality is like. You just have to keep living and loving life. When people see you enjoying Life, they want to be a part of your experience. So, the opportunities for love are out there. It just depends on You.

Now, I'm not gonna leave you hanging...

Let me tell you how you can get over a break-up. And, this is easy.

Listen...

If you can click a mouse, there are websites, videos, articles, blogs, and forums dedicated to providing information to help you out. If you're lazy or just don't want to go through the hassle of googling, here's a list below.

But, don't expect it to be anything spectacular! I'll mix my flavors in later.

The Main Theme in all of those advice columns and videos is: Get Busy. Don't sit around thinking about the break-up. "Work on improving Yourself."

Here's what you can do to get over a broken heart or a break-up:

* Learn Survival Skills.

* Diet and Exercise.

* Find a new interest or dig deeper into one you've already thought about.

* Get out of the house more and do anything exciting and fun!

* Work more or find a new fulfilling job.

* Go back to school and study hard.

* Socialize with more people.

* Read more books on improving your romantic skills.

* Volunteer.

* Organize an event.

* Learn to dance.

* Learn to play an intrument.

* Study astronomy.

* Spend more time with friends and family members.

* learn to play a sport.

* Learn karate or judo or self-defense.

* Go on more dates.

* Learn to act for plays.

* Write a book.

* Produce a few videos. Maybe even talk about your experience and gain closure.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SIT AROUND ALONE FOR TOO LONG OR YOU'LL START TO THINK AND THINK AND THINK ABOUT IT.

This will only make you more miserable and possibly cause a deep depression - something NO ONE needs to have in their life. And, who knows... It may be a blessing in disguise.

- loveqna

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Sex Restrictions Create Global Turmoil

Now... What couples do behind closed doors is their business. But I was mad as hell when I found out that there were so many men and women out there suffering from lack of affection and sexual experiences with their mates.

Let me tell you the reason why it pisses me off... And, I'm sure it will piss you off too once you realize what's been going on and how it affects you.

Think about this... And, I'm 100% sure you'll agree.

To many people, sex is a very important "benefit" in a relationship. Not only does it do your body good, it's also one of the best ways to connect with your partner.

Good Loving helps you get to know More about each other and helps you express your deeper emotions.

It's the deepest form of communication between the mind, body, and spirit of two people - if used properly and with good intentions.

Think about it...

Most of the time, after a good romp or during a romantic interlude, couples are cool, calm, "in the zone", relaxed, and can talk about almost anything - if they don't fall asleep first. So, it's also theraputic.

If there's a deep connection, they might even lay around the house or in bed for hours and hours bonding and it's almost like the first time they ever made love.

It's powerful stuff! And good for the spirit!

Affection and Intimacy helps us develop strong bonds (emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and socially) with the person we love and care about. That's what it's for! It helps to make the love last.

But, when one of those partners aren't getting good love at home or feel stuck in a stagnant relationship with no physical loving communication (affection) and "spiritual love", they can take their frustrations out on the World.

Woe to the people that have to deal with the poor attitudes of those sad people who are stuck in a sexless uninspiring relationship. Those poor devils go to work angry, grumpy, in a daze, moping around, making irrational decisions, or depressed all the time - their minds often distracted by the drama at home. Sometimes you can't even get good service out of them because they lack drive and interest in things outside of the issues of their relationship. they're frustrated and stressed out!

It can even cause poor social relationships between them and the people around them, such as: their children, family members, friends, co-workers, etc. Look at those poor pitiful mean-spirited folks who creep around the Net flaming people - angry and pessimistic. They spend so much time on the Net because they have no love (or sex) in their lives. Those poor lonely scoundrels have nothing to do except make it their mission to attack almost everything in sight.

Haters are the worst because they're so lonely, jealous, envious, and bored with their lives and love life that they have to be devious and instigate trouble just to occupy their time and take their minds off of how bad their lives suck.

And that's the whole point. When the love and loving between two people is not up to par, MANY people suffer - not just one or two. Maybe even an entire Nation! Look at how much drama some of these politicians with their scandalous behavior have caused...

Do you think the World would be so full of trouble and drama if there was more love in it? Of course not! We'd find things to argue or war about, but I doubt things would be this bad.

Let me tell you how this drama affected me recently...

The other day at work, I called customer service about 5 or 6 times (sometimes dialing the number 3 times in succession), and every time I called, no one would pick up the phone. I knew someone was there because the phones have to be manned (or wo-manned) just in case any customers called in for product availability, service questions, billing, or directions. At one point, I called the manager on duty and asked him to go back there and take a look to see what was up - if they were really busy or what - and that jackass responded with: "Call them. There should be someone in there." I said, "I know there should be someone in there. I'm calling and no one is picking up." That fool said, "Just keep trying, okay." And hung up. Lazy-ass jerk.

This guy once talked to me about his marital problems too. I think his kids are the main source of his grief. Anyway...

I got a customer who had a million questions and wanted to place an order to have some product delivered to her home. I had customers piling up. I tried once more to call customer service. I got no answer and had to walk the lady from one end of the building to the other and get back to the other customers in my department. And you know how people (customers) hate to wait around for service. Too bad. I proceeded to walked her to customer service while she yapped on and on about how we should have the product in the store and how she would prefer having it delivered to the store instead of her home and yadda yadda...

When I walked up, I didn't see anyone. So, I took a peek in the back office and was amazed to see this goofy broad on her cellphone with one of her friends talking about the drama she was dealing with in her relationship and some guy who was lying to her, and how she shouldn't have to put up with... Something. I don't know. While I tried to get her attention, I could hear the phone ringing, and she was still just yappin' away like she didn't give a sh*t. After, a few seconds of me standing there, she told the person on the other end that she would call them back. If I was a supervisor, relationship drama or no relationship drama, her ass would've been fired on the spot. I would've gave that chick her pink-slip so fast, it would made her head spin: "Here's your pink-slip trick! Now, Take it and get the hell outta here." On the phone whining like a baby.

I was mad as hell. Inside I was about to explode. I was too busy to be taking all of those repeat calls and running up and down the building when she could've just answered the phone - which was Her job. But, I bit my tongue and held in my frustrations to keep the peace. It was painful.

Now, I don't know if they're NOT having sex - Probably not enough for her. BUT! I KNOW this relationship drama is affecting the quality and efficiency of work and service this girl is supposed to provide. Hence, the saying, "Leave your 'drama at home' AT home, and your 'work' AT work." Whatever. She was interrupting my flow.

Now, don't get me wrong, I feel bad for the girl, but I don't need any work-related drama. I have enough drama at home. And, I don't need customers complaining to me about being left on hold and having to call back, or irate customers on my ass about the service SHE'S supposed to provide. It's bad enough the company slices and dices the schedule and expects one person to do the work of three.

And, this is probably happening almost everywhere you go. You may not see it all the time, but SOMEBODY somewhere is getting the short end of the stick because of these people and their drama.

Have you ever been to a shop or venue to spend your hard-earned money and some poor sap is in a bad mood and providing you with low-class service like you're interrupting them while they're at work trying to chill? 80% of the time it's because their love-life sucks or their supervisor's love-life suck, or their supervisor's boss is in a relationship that sucks.

And that sh*t just rolls down hill and makes everyone's life miserable.

People who have good relationships are often in a good mood and spread the love wherever they go. They're happy to be in love and to BE loved.

Bad relationships = No sex = Poor attitudes = Poor productivity and poor service.

Get away from that drama and find someone who cares and who wants to love you the way you deserve to be loved!

If there were more people involved in good loving meaningful relationships, the World would be an Excellent Place. We'd have great service and positive social relationships coming out of the "ying-yang"! I'm sure of it.

So, what can we do about it???

I know some people have health issues that prevent them from making love or having sex, and that's too bad. There's not much you can do if the person is deathly ill.

But, if they aren't, there are OTHER things they can do to express their love. There are other ways to be intimate and sexually expressive. They just have to be willing to go the extra mile. It's for the good of their relationship and for the good of Mankind - and Womankind.

Maybe I'm crazy for thinking about this, but I'm dead serious.

I didn't realize that so much of this was going on until I saw so many hot chicks (and suave brothers) out there on the Net asking questions like:

How can i get my husband interested in having sex with me?
What can i do if my wife is unromantic and uninterested in having sex with me?
What does my boyfriend have a lack of interest in sex?
Should I leave my marriage because my wife has a lack of interest in sex?

These questions made me reflect on one of my former supervisors who had been married for 10 years or so. One day he told me that he hadn't had sex with his wife in almost a year. The guy took off his glasses and stared blank right into my eyes. Then he said:

"I don't understand it. She won't even let me touch her. She treats me like I'm some stranger."

Could you blame her? She was hot and he had no style. He dressed like a school teacher from the 70s who was trying to dress like a businessman from 70s. He was also bossy and arrogant.

And, all the guy talked about was sex and what he was going to do to his wife when he got home. She was probably tired of being his sex-toy and in pain from being mashed and tenderized by the extra sixty or so pounds he had put on.

I didn't say anything, but I realized: not only was this guy NOT getting any loving, but he had been lying for almost a year about what he was going home to do to his wife. Or, maybe he just had his hopes up.

Anyway...

They ended up going into counseling with their pastor and things got better.

You could really tell a difference in his attitude the first few months after they went in. He was a lot happier. She seemed a little happier too. Hell, we were all a lot happier.

When he wasn't getting any loving, he was strict as hell - sometimes for no reason. It just seemed as if he wanted to be a tyrant and go strictly by the book with everything. Even if no customers were present, and the place was spotless, he was on our ass to do SOMETHING.

"Count those cups and give me a total."

"Walk the building and let me know if any lights are out."

"If you got time to lean, you got time to clean."

The employees couldn't even talk to each other without him coming over to see what we were talking about. And, if it wasn't work-related, he found something for us to do. That dude sucked.

I had another supervisor - a store manager - who seemed to have a good marriage but he was ALWAYS at work or "passing through", so we always had to be on our toes just in case he'd pop-up to check the store out. His assistant managers would get excited and have us running around doing all kinds of extra sh*t just to make it look like we were very busy and not standing around. You know how it is when the supervisors expect the Big Boss to show up - it's a damn "dog and pony show".

One of the assistant managers he hung out with told me that this guy would cruise some of the "unpopular" neighborhoods looking for hookers and tell his wife he was working late. He wasn't a bad guy. But, you could tell he was a sex-addict. It was on his mind all the time. If he wasn't telling a sexual joke, he was talking about girls with "bubble butts" giving him a blowjob.

Plus, his wife was always calling, so that tells you that something wasn't right between those two. She didn't even seem to have her own life, and he seemed to hate having to take her calls.

I liked the guy. I just wished he would've stayed home more often.

To this day, I don't know what the main issue was with any of those people, but can you imagine living like that?

Having a hot wife you can't touch or a husband who would rather be at work than at home?

You KNOW situations like that are causing drama! And, it's making it hard on people who love life like me and you!

There's no doubt about it! Somebody somewhere is getting the short end of the stick!

These people out here need counseling. Some of them need to swallow their pride and recharge their love-life. Some of them need to get out of these dead-end relationships and find someone new - before the whole world goes to hell in a hand-basket.

- loveqna

Friday, December 10, 2010

VIDEO - Surprise Wedding Dance

Love is always so beautiful at the beginning...




Video provided by - adlee78

- loveqna

VIDEO - Slap, Tap, BAM!

This ain't "Dancing With The Stars". It's "dirty dancing" gone wild!



Video provided by - theviraltrend

- loveqna

VIDEO - Prank Phone Call Gone Wrong - Cheating Boyfriend

A creative way to find out if your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating...



Video provided by - Jaymes95

- loveqna

VIDEO - Prank call gone HORRIBLY wrong!!

This is another prank call concocted by "The Playhouse" radio show. More proof you should be careful about the games you play with your mate.



Video provided by - PlaymakerSeries

- loveqna

VIDEO - Wife Prank Gone Wrong

Sometimes it is best not to prank the mother of your expected child , because in the heat of anger she may just say something you don't want to hear! I'm sure some of you may not approve of this video, but remember it can go both ways... Be careful of the games you play.



Video provided by - Javier1171

- loveqna

Thursday, December 9, 2010

To Be Or Not To Be

I'm beginning to feel like some of those helpless whipped men I see come into the store where I work. I can look at their long bored faces and tell they'd have more fun hanging by their necks from a rope than to be in there shopping with their wives and girlfriends.

I had this lady come in with her husband a couple of weeks ago and bought so much stuff, it looked like they were having a yard sale on wheels - INSIDE the car. She must've hit a windfall because she was shopping like she had money to burn, but the car looked like it was on it's last legs. And, her husband kept trying to tell her there wasn't much room and that it would unsafe to drive the car with so much stuff piled in there - blocking the back windows, on the floor in the front, piled up on the arm rest... She just kept right on buying and directing us to get this thing and that thing. And, told him not to say anything - just keep loading.

He was pissed, but she was the boss. So, he did what he was told no matter how much he hated it. He was so weary he was too tired to be mad. That poor rascal.

But, I saw some happy couples too. There were a few "cuddlers" and "love-birds" that came through - hugging and kissing and cracking jokes on each other. Times like that put a smile on my face. I like romance. I like to see people happy. And, to be honest, it inspired me a little. I tried to come home and be nice, but...

The next day, just as I finished writing a post (actually a draft I haven't posted it yet) about marriage versus shacking up, my girlfriend confronted me. SHE wants to get married... I said, "Oh, hell." (internally - not out loud)

Now, this chick calls me names, insults my intelligence, accuses me of possibly cheating, hates the fact that I smoke and that I'm on the computer, says I don't talk to her enough, tries to work me to death and complains that I'm not doing enough around here, and still, she wants to get married...

I may be dumb, but I ain't that damned stupid.

I didn't give her a response of whether I would or not. I just listened and then started talking about marriages in general. She knew I was beating around the bush. Her final response was that she couldn't keep doing this - living together without being married.

Something told me not to write that post. I told you we are very connected and we think about the same things sometimes. I don't know if I have E.S.P. or if my male instincts were kicking in or if her female instincts were kicking in, but there we were on the same page. Sometimes I'm afraid of what pops into my head for fear that she might know my thoughts.

I've been noticing that she hasn't been fussing as much as usual. And lately, she's always asking me if I need anything when she goes out to the store or to the mall or anywhere. Maybe she's been setting me up to talk about it - using her female charm and ways... I know the games these vixens play.

Too bad I'm not in a good position to do any heavy negotiating. I can refuse but...

I don't know... I may have to do it, but I think I'm going to research annulments first. I really don't want to get married if there's a chance of being in a stormy relationship. I don't want to end up divorced and have to marry again. I'd feel tainted.

I don't have anything to lose by marrying her except my peace of mind and the fact that she would have my name. But, I don't even want her to have that if it's not going to work. Plus, I don't have kids and I'd like to meet someone one day and maybe have one or two. She's done with having kids. She can still have them but she's reached her limit. And, I don't need a grouch for a baby-mama. So, we compliment each other in that aspect. Even so, I just don't want to deal with the nagging and being committed to this type of relationship.

But, I know I'll have to do something real soon.

I thought about it. I COULD just run off when I got tired of it. But... I wouldn't do that. Women can be vindictive, and if my writing career ever takes off, she'd get her revenge by getting a good lawyer to suck my bank account dry as hell and make a public spectacle of me for the hometown media.

And the worst part of it would be: I wouldn't even be able to hunt for my True Love until a year or so after the divorce or they'd swear I'd been cheating all along and put my True Love on blast and defame her reputation and character in front of her friends and family.

No. I don't want to get along with this person. I don't want to forgive or go to counseling or apologize for anything or confess my sins, I just want get myself on track so that I can get out. I should've stacked my chips instead of spending what little I had on these kids, energy drinks, and knick-knacks around the house. My dumbass.

For some reason, I'm thinking this weekend is going to be a "do or die" situation. Crunch Time. I know I'm probably going to have to make a crucial decision. I can feel it. But, No matter what choice I make, it will be a losing proposition... Well, I can't blame anybody but myself. Sad, but true.

I may end up with a ring on my finger. Or, who knows? I may end up in the cold...

I can't predict it so guess I don't have E.S.P.... We'll see.

- loveqna

Monday, December 6, 2010

VIDEO - How To Flirt - 2,000,000+ Views

If you want to get that hot guy or pretty girl you've had your eyes on, you gotta take action! Improve your flirting skills. Practice. Have Fun. Be complimentary sometimes. Learn to comment on and talk about current events and news. And don't be afraid to suggest a date or offer your number.

I can't tell you how good this video on flirting is. See it for yourself and You be the judge...



Video provided by - Howcast

- loveqna

Saturday, December 4, 2010

50 Year Old Nightie - Adult Humor

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.

That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night.

She looked at her husband and said, "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looked up at her and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."

She said, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"

He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asked.

He responded, "As I remember, I said, 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big boobs and screw your brains out.' "

She giggled and said, "Yes honey, that's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"

Again he looked up at her, and he replied, "Mission accomplished."

Randy The Rooster - Adult Humor

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named, Randy, he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."

Well, Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk...

"Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked.

Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese.

Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy in the middle of the yard looking like he is dead from exhaustion.

Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's, "Shhh. They're getting closer..."

When The Economy Sucks, Relationships Suck

(Post to be updated later)

I know there are some people out there that believe "Love Conquers All", but those people probably don't have a lot of bills and expenses...

I'm seeing (and hearing about) couples breaking up and getting into arguments almost daily. Some are FORCED to stay together because they can't afford to be single.

Just the other day, a neighbor got foreclosed on and had to pack her bags and borrow a pick-up truck to haul their belongings away. Her husband had been struggling to find work and what little bit of "bacon" he brought to the crib got gobbled up in past due bills and food.

The woman didn't complain about him but with six kids, I wondered how long that feeling would last. My girl would've put me out into the streets a long time ago.

I met this one-armed homeless guy named... "Ralph", a few months ago who had been put out by his wife. He said it happened because he couldn't get his "benefits" and money. He said he tried to fight for his benefits but he wasn't even angry about it anymore. He said he felt so bad that soon he got depressed, then started drinking, and after a while, he and his girl couldn't get along, so she kicked him out.

I gave the man a few smokes and change here and there, but I wish I could've helped him reconcile with his wife. He kept talking about going back, but everytime I saw him, he would be sleeping under a nearby bridge or walking towards me in the parking lot to get a smoke or some change...

Who knows what's going to happen or how it all will turn out...

Hopefully, Love will prevail.

- loveqna
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