The Truth About Cougars and Young Bucks

A lot of professional quack psychologists and "investigative reporters" will tell the public and anybody dumb enough to believe them that all young men are attracted to older women because older women are more mature, confident, and powerful, but we all know this ain't so. Some older women act just as youthful as some of these younger women. And those "old babes" date younger men regularly.

Those "experts" also try to convince the public that a relationship between a younger man and an older woman (or vice versa) has a slim chance of success. All relationships these days have a slim chance of success. Look at the divorce rate. Surf the Net and take a look at how many people are suffering from relationship problems. Watch TV and talk shows and check out how many "normal" couples there are dealing with relationship issues and drama. NO RELATIONSHIP is completely safe from failure.

The truth is: Each man has his own reasons for dating older women just as young women have their own reasons for dating older men. The attraction may be physical, financial, emotional, intrigue, a fetish, a fantasy, he didn't realize she was older because she looked so young. Who knows what the reason is besides the guy who's trying to gain the cougar's interest. An older woman might peak a young man's interest simply because he loves women - or sex. Hell, he may be lonely. Maybe he wants to settle down. Or... He may not have an age preference. Who knows? Sometimes an older woman will flirt with a younger man and seduce HIM. It happens.

Cougars do "grown-up" sh*t. They surprise the man and provide him with an experience he's not used to with younger women. They know how to TREAT a man, CATER to him, STROKE his ego, and make him feel like a King - or at least like he's important or special. An older woman will have his nose WIDE OPEN just on her social graces alone before he knows what hit him!

(And before he knows it, he's living in her house with her and her kids playing the role of a "40-something year-old celibate husband/handyman" - with a honey-doo list a mile long. That happens too.)

But many young men - probably most - aren't going to be attracted to an older woman if she ain't pretty (or cute) and has a hot body, style, or some kind of sex-appeal (physically or by way of her personality, but usually physically). A guy may be out at a club "getting his party on", drinking, and see a fine-looking cougar in the midst of a lot of hot chicks - and she's sexy as hell and smelling good - and BAM! It's love at first site! Every woman has a unique quality, true. But, as far as most guys are concerned, older women have to have the same "good" qualities and features as younger women. It might be a pretty smile, a cute hairstyle, a cute butt, nice legs, good health, a sexy dancer, whatever... She has to have SOMETHING that turns him on. But, even then, many of those guys aren't thinking about a LONG TERM relationship. It MAY end up turning into a long term relationship if the two have a lot in common or if he sees something in her he can't resist, but MANY of those young bucks are just curious (sexually or mentally) and just want to have some fun with a sexy "experienced woman".

It's true that some "young bucks" admire powerful women. But many men and women admire powerful people. So it's nothing unique to younger men and older women. Successful people are intriguing that's why we watch them on talk shows, read their biographies, tune-in to listen to them speak or give their opinions, or desire them as mentors.

But the woman doesn't have to be in a powerful position. It's the woman's confidence and swagger that turns the man on. It's the mystery that makes him want to be with her. Some want to "conquer" the woman and make her fall in love. Some want to BE conquered and dominated by her. Some just want to know what she's really like personally. But even then, the strong confident woman could be young OR older. It doesn't matter.

Some young bucks date older women for personal development and experience. They like older women because they're "lost" (in life) and looking for a strong supportive woman (maybe a mentor). The younger guy isn't immature in the sense that he's playful and acts like a 15 year-old. He's immature in experience. He's a late-bloomer. These guys are looking for someone who can help them focus and find their "direction", purpose, or a path in life. They want a woman who can mold them into a man with the tools they need to be successful. They're looking for that "ride or die" chick (the "Bonnie" to their "Clyde") in an older woman. They already know the woman has experience. More than likely she's settled and done with partying and playing the field. So, the younger man feels the woman might be supportive, fearless, honest, less likely to cheat, and able to give him guidance, motivation, and opinions that will help him reach his goals. He believes almost all older women possess these qualities - the qualities of a strong positive woman. A True Diva.

One of the reasons why many of those relationships don't work is because the young man is not ready for "The Real World". He's not ready for all of the responsibilities or baggage that comes with being with this woman. The woman's mind is focused on many things that the man hasn't experienced, anticipated, and/or really isn't concerned about at this point in his life:

the children's schooling and education,
shopping for food, cooking, and having healthy meals,
sick and aging parents,
worrying about a sibling's, child's, or best friend's problems and dilemmas,
soap operas,
issues at work or surrounding her career,
bills,
her health issues,
things that need to be done around the house BESIDES clean-up,
her church group or some social club she has dedicated her life to,
duties/actions that he - as a man - is supposed to KNOW (or anticipate) WITHOUT HER TELLING HIM,
All kinds of sh*t.

And that's just the background to all the TIME he must spend TALKING about all of this stuff or listening to her rant and/or whine about it. (When your friend gets married and you rarely hear from him or see him, this is why he's "Missing In Action".) Most young bucks ain't ready for all that! And that's still just the tip of the iceburg.

Plus, if the woman is demanding or EXPECTS him to be there to support her and help her deal with all of this stuff, that's more pressure on the younger man - especially since he probably still wants to get out of the house every now and then to enjoy his youth. Eventually, she'll kick him to the curb if he can't keep up OR he'll bail out if she has too much going on in her life. That's why some of those cougar-cub relationships don't work. (It can also be the reason why "normal" relationships don't work.)

Another obvious reason why some of those cougar-cub relationships don't work out is because some men just aren't ready (or don't WANT) to be in a committed relationship. He likes the woman but he doesn't want anything serious. And some cougars feel the same way. Many of them don't want to be "tied down" either - because of their career, or they just want to date, or they have trust issues, or they have too much going on in their lives for a commitment, or Whatever. Every situation and reason for splitting-up is unique just as every reason for hooking-up is unique.

Don't listen to those quacks and their theories or you might miss out on love. If you want to date a younger man or woman, go for it. If you want to date an older man or woman, go for it. You have about as much chance for success (or failure) as any other couple. The keys are compatibility, goals, and your willingness to make the relationship work. And those are the same keys to success as any other relationship.

Stop Stereotyping Men And Women

Why is it so hard for a man to understand his woman or so easy for a woman to CLAIM to understand her man yet NOT understand why he isn't happy in his relationship or why he would cheat on her with someone else? Maybe he's not so simple to understand after all.

What causes this "lack of understanding"? Stereotyping...

Believing all men are the same and all women are the same.

Instead of the man paying attention to his woman and trying to learn her crazy-ass ways, he ignores her, avoids her, and is satisfied with the idea that "all women are complicated and can't be figured out."

Don't follow in his footsteps or you'll be as miserable as he is. DON'T TRY TO FIGURE ALL WOMEN OUT. You can't. ALL WOMEN AREN'T THE SAME. Each one has different habits, interests, issues, preferences, personalities, wants, needs, etc. So, don't try to figure ALL of them out. Stop stereotyping all of these complicated-ass women and focus on the lunatic you have at home and HER crazy-ass ways. If it's already driving you insane trying to figure HER out, you ought to have enough sense to know that's impossible to figure them All out. And, if you focus on this one woman you have at home, it'll make understanding HER a lot easier.

For women, it's the opposite. Many of them think they know exactly what ALL men want and that men are easy to understand. So, they stereotype men this way: Most women believe that men are the same - "simple" and only want three things: a submissive woman, a TV with a remote, and an endless supply of beer.

Now that's the crazy thing I've ever heard.

Every man isn't satisfied with a submissive woman they can use for sex, cleaning their cave, and raising children while they go out to conquer the world and rustle up some "bacon". Some men have different goals, interests, and ambitions in life. All men aren't the same just as all women aren't the same. You don't know what's going on in your man's mind until you really get to know him. Many women DON'T KNOW what's on their man's mind. Many are too busy to notice. They think everything in the relationship is fine until a revelation smacks them right dead in the face: "HE'S CHEATING ON ME???"

This will happen if you just allow the relationship to drift along. Find ways to get him to open up. He'll talk under the right circumstances. Just because he isn't talking to YOU doesn't mean he isn't willing to talk. More than likely, he's talking to SOMEONE about his problems (or "interests") - like a friend, a co-worker, a family member, or maybe even strangers on the Internet.

I know it SOUNDS easy but it CAN be done. My girl and I disagree on a lot of things, but I understand her. I can make her smile. I know what makes her happy. I know what makes her angry. I know what she wants from me. I know what she needs. I understand her completely. It took a while for me to learn this stuff but (everyday) she makes sure I get the picture. And, with her big mouth, she doesn't mind telling me what's on her mind - good or bad. So, it's no secret of how she feels, what she's happy about, likes or doesn't like, thinks I ought to do, or how I ought to be. I'm completely informed of her wants, needs, preferences, temperament, turn-offs, turn-ons, and demands. I'm learning the hard way, but trust me, I'm well aware of what "buttons" NOT to push if I want to have a good day and sweet romantic nights.

We argue because she's stubborn and doesn't listen, AND doesn't WANT to listen. The woman is RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING. And, she thinks she's gonna work me to death... But, she's got another thing coming if she thinks that's going to happen. I REFUSE to submit...

Anyway... This is one way of moving in the right direction to improving your love-life and relationship. Stop sterotyping and get to know the Individual. You have to try to understand each other's ways and continue to learn each other so that you don't constantly step on each other's toes or do things that lead to arguments, boredom, or spite. On the flip-side, you might discover that the relationship just isn't meant to be. Get to know your partner. Why waste the time, energy, and effort to save it if it ain't meant to be?

Talk/Communicate
Ask questions
Create situations where you can relax, have fun, and talk more openly
Observe and Pay attention to what makes him/her smile or angry
Listen for what he/she does say as well as what he/she doesn't say
Listen for what issues keep coming up
etc.

Don't fall for "the all men are the same/all women are complicated" B.S or you'll continue to have more problems and frustrations than you care to deal with. Look, listen, and learn how to deal with the individual and situation you're in. It will help to make your life a lot better - whether you want to save the relationship or just going with the flow until you can find a way out.

The Easiest Way In The UNIVERSE To Find Your SoulMate - Part 3

Number Ten: Most relationship books or articles will tell you "the number one reason relationships fail is due to lack of communication". Or, they may say: "Communication is the key to all successful relationships." I can't knock that. It's true. You will have a much better chance of meeting the right girl or guy and having a relationship that's "the bomb" if you focus on communication. But, there is much more to it than that. "Communication" isn't just about listening to a woman whine about her problems, or talking when you have issues, or making sure you both are on the same page with the expenses, bills, and errands. Communication is also about showing each other attention - showing that you care and that you're interested in each other; that you appreciate and like (or love) the person that you're with or trying to "sell" yourself to. Here are a few ways to Communicate and to show your lover some attention. If you do this, it will not only help you gain your SoulMate, it will improve your chances of keeping them and keeping them happy about being with you. And I GUARANTEE you if you can find other things to add to this list, this guide will keep your relationship with your SoulMate from being tedious and Boring.

* Have fun with being flirtatious (and a little "dirty") sometimes. Give your mate a hug or a pat on the ass or a kiss on the cheek just to show that you think he or she is cute or sexy or that you're attracted to him or her.

* Compliment him or her on his or her looks sometimes like "Damn, you're looking sexy." or "I like that outfit." or whatever comes to your mind.

* Watch TV together. Skip the news every once and while and watch a reality show, or home and garden, or the food channel, or court TV - something exciting that you can talk about, laugh about, or experiment with.

* Go for a drive and visit some places like a flea market, produce market, a festival, the park, or just visit some friends.

* Dress sexy sometimes. Get his or her attention every once and while. Put on some nice smelling fragrance and look your best. Wear some "nice" boxers or sexy lingerie sometimes.

* Be thankful and give "Thanks" when your partner does something sweet or works hard to please you.

* Cook a meal together. Have an exotic dinner date at home with candlelights and the whole shabang. And have fun with it. Don't worry too much about the meal itself. Remember: It's not a formal dinner, you're just "kickin' it" and "chillin'". Even if you go out for fast food, taking it home and watching something good on TV is a plus. Food can always lead to good conversations if not more.

* Be thoughtful. If you're out and about and headed his or her way, call to see if they want you bring something extra or stop by the store. It just shows you care.

* Flowers, plants, or a small trinket every once and a while also shows that you care.

* If you have a hard time talking, one of the best things you could do for yourself is to learn to improve your conversation skills. Women love to talk and men will open up and talk if you're talking about something they want to hear.

* Ask for his or her opinion sometimes. It doesn't have to be on any major issues. It could be on your style, a what shirt or pants to wear, what to eat, what wax to buy to polish your car, a small dilemma, whatever.

* Find out how your partner/prospect feels about certain things every once and while. Continue to get to know him or her: "Do you like..." or "How do you feel about..." or "Would you ever try..." or "Could you see yourself going to/ doing..."

* Read books on lovemaking, things to do on date, how to flirt, etc.

* Be ready to apologize, forgive, or reconcile after an argument or heated discussion. Don't let bad vibes linger or they may turn into hatred, disgust, or revenge.

And Remember this if you don't do anything else to attract and keep your SoulMate...

Whomever your SoulMate may be, he or she will appreciate you more if you two can laugh, talk, and have fun in each other's company, so find ways to be attentive and to enjoy each other. That's the Real key.

And remember what Communication is really about: Get to know the person and let them get to know you. No matter how long you've been involved - whether you're just starting out or have been married for years - you still have to stay "in touch" and strive to learn your partner's habits, ways, interests, wants, needs, likes, dislikes, turn-offs, turn-ons, and goals. People change and you have to stay abreast of what's going on with them. You also have to keep them interested and swooning over You so that you'll feel good about them and the relationship. That's the challenge. Those are the things make a relationship interesting and that help keep the passion going.

If you fail to add these few simple tips to your "game", I promise you, you'll end up in a stale dead-end relationship and your life will suck like hell until you find a new mate or a way out.

The Easiest Way In The UNIVERSE To Find Your SoulMate - Part 2

Number Five: If you're a "home-body" and don't go out that often, then of course, you'll reduce your chances of finding your SoulMate. If you want to find that special girl or guy, you have to get out, network, mix and mingle, and socialize. Some people actually sit around - daydreaming - waiting for Love to fall in their laps. I had a friend tell me one time that he wasn't going to look for love and that if his SoulMate was out there, she would find him. I said to myself: "What if she's sitting around at home waiting too?"

I'm not saying you have to be out there looking under every rock or flashing money and trinkets to get the attention of some good "prospects", BUT, you have to at least be willing to meet The Girl or Guy Of Your Dreams half way. God may shower you with Blessings but some of those Blessings ain't gonna fall right in your lap. Many of them will be scattered around and require that you put in a little work or get out and look for them.

Number Six: Stay Sharp. Stay on top of your game. When your SoulMate first saw you or first felt an attraction for you, it was because there was something about you that he or she really appreciated, or something about you that turned him or her on. You have to maintain that level of attraction and continue to elevate yourself to keep them interested and desiring to be with you. It may have been your conversation skills, your wit, your beauty, your kindness, your ability to provide, your willingness to have fun and travel, whatever. Find out early what it is and make ways to maintain that level of attraction. Women should especially take heed to this because whether they want to accept it or not, they are in competition with other women. A man may not be out there looking for another woman, but with all of these women wearing tight jeans, make-up, weave, smelling good, and being naturally charming, it's hard for a lot of men to stay focused.

Number Seven: Be honest with each other and let it be known what's expected up front. Again, get to know each other. Tell your prospect your wants, needs, goals, and preferences, and find out what they're all about. Make sure you're both on the same page. Ain't nothing worse than "hooking up" with somebody only to find out that they've been stringing you along only wanting a "friends with benefits" type of relationship or that they pretended to be something they're not. Take your time and don't rush into it. I know some one-night stands have turned into long-term relationships, but there's no way to easily explain how some people are able to "click" like that, so don't trust it. Read between the lines.

Number Eight: If you DO find a good prospect and you commit to each other or shack up, help out when you can. Make sure he or she is generous and/or helpful too. This will save you a ton of drama. Trust me. If you see something that needs to be done (especially around the house), do it. Keep the peace! And keep your SoulMate from fussing and complaining. But pay attention: If he or she doesn't have your back or want to help you out when you need it, or often complains about helping you out, be wary, and keep your "bail money" handy so you can kick them to the curb or get the hell out of Dogde.

Number Nine: "No Money, No Honey." Anybody who ever said money ain't important in a relationship needs to be kicked in the ass. Make sure your SoulMate is as responsible with money as you are. If you want to enjoy life just a little bit more, it'll take a little bit of money. You don't need a whole lot of it, but when you know how to save and spend wisely and keep those bill collectors off your back, it helps to make life a little bit better. And keep the drama to a minimum. The reasons for many divorces and seperations tell the story. If people ain't cheating, they're broke. Some are cheating because they're broke. It's true: Money can't buy happiness, but sometimes it can help put a smile on your face.

Now, this is the most important note in this entire speech I can share with you: When you meet your SoulMate, your first encounter might not be "Love at first sight". There might not be fireworks when you first kiss. You might not even want to be friends after you first meet. It's a plus if all that would happen, but YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW YOU'VE MET YOUR SOULMATE UNTIL YEARS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP... Or so "They" say.

The Easiest Way In The UNIVERSE To Find Your SoulMate - Part 1

If you pay attention and learn the method I'm about to show you, I can almost guarantee you that you will find your SoulMate. I've used this method over and over again and I've found my Soulmate at least six or seven times...

But before you even start there's one thing you must make sure of: And that is...

You HAVE to have your Mind right.

If you don't, it's just the same as going shopping all day for a new outfit or a pair of shoes (or a new car) and coming back home empty-handed with nothing but frustrations. That's a waste of time, gas, money, and peace of mind. And meeting your SoulMate is way more important than than a pair of shoes or an outfit. So, You can't go out in "The Field" looking for "Mr. Goodbar" or "Ms. Right" if you don't have the proper state of mind.

So, this is what it takes to get your mind right (not in any particular order):

Number One: Know WHERE the type of person you would like to meet would more than likely hang out or shop or work. If you don't know that, then you must rely on family and friends (and possibly associates and co-workers) to throw you a bone every now and then. You never know what those "blind dates" may turn into. Maybe one of those bones might have the "right" flavor, so don't rule out your options.

Number Two: Be confident in yourself. Appreciate who you are, what you have to offer, and your life. Don't ever think a man or woman is too good for you or too handsome to approach for a conversation. You don't know that person's mind or life until you get to know him or her. He or she may be lonely and looking for his or her SoulMate just like you.

Sometimes a man or woman might look too pretty or too handsome OR too Powerful to approach. Just their beauty or the way he or she carries him or herself might throw you off your game a little bit and make you shy and/or afraid to approach or speak for fear of rejection. Or, You may just not know HOW TO APPROACH this particular person due to the current situation - wrong place; wrong time; timing. That's understandable. The only people Time and Place don't affect are those with the "gift of gab". Those people know everything and can talk about anything. They'll talk your damn ears off if you let them. But, back to what I was saying...

Be confident in yourself. Consider your positive qualities and your potential. Don't think too much about a person's looks. Since you don't know him or her (yet), you don't know how he or she views himself (or herself) or how he or she views you. Or, what he or she is looking for in a mate. Or, what turns him or her on. Or, what makes him or her tick. Looks may not be important to this person just because they're important to you.

Where I work, I get the opportunity to see couples of all kinds. And I'm here to tell you the days of "they look good together" don't matter worth a damn anymore. I see all kinds of couples: tall women - short men, fat women - skinny men, skinny women - fat men, cute women - cave men, old women - young men, strong women - weak men, divas and thugs, mixed races, mixed nationalities, the handy and the handicapped, mud ducks and preppies, old folks with older folks, played-out players with teenie-boppers... I see it all. I've seen miserable men with fine-ass women. Why??? How on Earth could you be miserable when you have a Babe like that on your side??? It ain't always about "the looks". Once you're confident enough to get to know a person and they begin to see YOU and the things that they like about you, then your looks only become important or noticeable when you change for some reason. But, you've got to be confident enough to get to know them first to see and understand what really matters to them.

Number Three: Know what you want (and DON'T want) - even down to personality, appearance, style, habits, interests, baggage, etc. And, if you have certain fetishes and fantasize about certain types of people or situations, look for people with those qualities or who are into the same things as you. If you're "in the closet", come out. If you're "in the closet" and afraid to come out at least let the person you want to be with know early on you're in there so you won't be living a lie and shock the hell out of them years later on down the road. I know it'll be hard to break the news to them for fear of them walking right out of your life or telling OTHER people all of your business, but this should make you realize: Do you really want to pursue a relationship with this person? Do you trust this person? Do you REALLY know this person? Does this person really care about you? And, are you prepared to change to keep this person in your life or would you be better off finding the TYPE of person you REALLY want - Someone who appreciates (or who can deal with) your habits, lifestyle, fantasies, interests, and addictions? Someone who likes (or loves) you for YOU?

Keep it real. If they love you, they'll stick around. If they leave, you just have to accept it. Some people would rather "turn the man or woman out", and make him or her fall in love so that they would not want to leave, but this still isn't being fair to yourself because that man or woman STILL may not appreciate what you do or your lifestyle and this ONE THING could make your relationship miserable as hell.

And when I say "in the closet", I'm talking about "in the closet" with any type of lifestyle - whether you're on the "down-low" sexually, spiritually, smoking weed, love to gamble or hang-out at liquor houses, trifling as hell, or whatever you like to do that might not be quite "kosher", that's what I'm talking about.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND KEEP IT REAL WITH YOURSELF ABOUT WANTING IT. You can fake the funk with everybody else, but when it really comes down to it, you can't ever fake the funk with your Mama or Yourself.

Number Four: Be willing to adjust, adapt, and compromise but don't allow yourself to be dominated, pushed around, disrespected, used as a "rent-boy", "suck-retary", "gopher", or "taxi cab".

There is a STROOOONG possibility that you might not find a partner or companion with all of the qualities you like. There is probably not a single person in the World who's going to be EVERYTHING you want him or her to be. They may be hard as hell to deal with like this chick I've got. They may be sweet as pie one minute and a firestorm the next. They may be bossy and demanding. Lazy as hell. Know everything. Talk too much or gossip. Wasteful with money. Secretive. He or she may want to change some of your habits or ways. He or she may want a lot of attention. He or she may want you to be more romantic or available. People who are smitten, deeply infatuated, or in love, have no problem adjusting to these types of demands and situations, but if you're "on the fence", stubborn, or "gotten used to" the person, or think people should take you as you are, then you're probably gonna have a hard time adjusting. Some people will accept you for ALL of your qualities if they're afraid to speak their mind and tell you what they really think.

I've never heard ANYONE WITH EXPERIENCE say that any relationship was perfect or without problems, disagreements, or compromise. But if you're looking for a SoulMate and relationship that's 80% drama free (less 20% for miscommunication and misunderstandings), you'll have to make adjustments. This is why you must take your time and get to know the person up front so you'll know what you're getting into before you make that leap. That's the key. Get to know each other inside and out before you get involved. But even then you should keep your "bail money" straight because people and situations change. And if they change for the worse (or you can't deal with the change), you may have to bail out of that relationship and search for a new SoulMate.

Why Don't People Just Leave The Relationship If They're So Unhappy?

If you've ever been in serious relationship, living with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or married, then you know that "just packing up and leaving" is not always as easy as it sounds. Some people can do it. Some people can't. Some people have no choice - especially if your mate puts your ass out before you can leave. And even then, some of those people (the ones that don't want to be in the relationship) beg to go back because they have no money or nowhere else to go.

You might have "friends" or associates or coworkers that listen to all of your problems about your relationship drama and recommend that you leave the relationship but none of those people are offering you an invitation to stay at their house. Only your true friends and family are gonna do that. And some of them may only do it if it's an emergency - like you just got your ass kicked and they feel sorry for you.

Everybody's got their own story and reason for staying...

Some may be saving and plotting for the right time to make their "escape".
Some feel they have too much to lose.
Some believe the person they love with eventually change.
Some have children and need financial support.
Some don't want to break up their home - even if it IS in a mess.
And some people are just crazy in love.

All situations aren't the same. Everybody has their own reason.

The other day at work, this guy was so depressed he started talking to me about how bad being married to his wife was and how hard she was on him. She was demanding, pushy, domineering. She called him names, never thanked him, and never seemed to appreciate him. He sounded like a whupped dog. Not only was HE sick and tired of her but so was his sons and HER sister. He said he didn't know why the two sisters don't like each other but he was sure it was his wife's fault because she's always criticizing and complaining. That poor sap. I could relate to everything he was telling me but I was glad I wasn't in a situation as bad as his. Then he told me he had been married to her for 44 years! I was so shocked I forgot he was a customer. I said, "Damn! The hell with that! I would've Been Gone!"

Then I asked him, "Man, how did you do it? How did you survive a marriage like that for 44 years?" His response was: "Just keep Mama happy. Cause if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Then his cellphone rang. It was Mama. He reported his whereabouts, gave his ETA (Expected Time of Arrival) back home, and said, "Okay Honey. See you in a little bit. Love you too. Bye bye." He rolled his eyes but he looked sad, tired, and disgusted when he hung that phone up. She was puttin' his ass to work and making sure he wasn't goofing off. And with his "honey-do" list in hand, he raced off to get those products back home to Mama.

I was skeptical. I thought to myself: "Keep mama happy??? There's got to be more to it than that." Personally, I think he doesn't want to lose half of his sh*t in a divorce settlement... but you never know.

How People End Up In Bad Relationships

I'm sure there are a gazillion reasons why men and women end up in suck-ass (bad) relationships. You may be in one right now. If you're not, I'll bet a billion bucks you know somebody who is "trapped and shackled" in one right now. Whipped. Sad. Depressed. And probably going crazy. It's a common tragedy. Every where, there are people out there suffering in these suck-ass relationships.

I'm in the worst situation of my life, but it's also the best situation of my life. I'm torn two ways about it. I'm thankful for it because I'm learning from it, but I also hate it because I hate a lot of drama. The girl has a big mouth and talks a lot of trash - constantly. No respect for me whatsoever. But that's my test - to learn how to deal with such adversity, overcome it, and keep my sanity.

How did I end up here? She was too fine and sexy to resist. I liked her style. She was sexy, and to be totally honest, I thought she was the "Girl Of My Dreams". She didn't know who I was but I was mesmerized by her beauty, personality, legs, and attitude, And I knew I had to come with some "game" to get her attention and to spark a conversation. She was a loud confident chick who loved to talk so I had to catch her alone when she wasn't among the rest of those cackling hens - gossiping and male-bashing. Those were too big red flags right there, but I still went in anyway. A few corny jokes here and there, and after several encounters I gave her my phone number. Two weeks later, we went out to a fast food restaurant then back to my crib for a little R and R (romance and relaxation). It was cool. And we learned a lot about each other. Some positives and negatives. But nothing to be alarmed about. Or so I thought...

I knew she would be hard to deal with because of her confidence and big mouth but I was hooked and and couldn't resist. I thought I would have the patience to deal with a chick like this, And I guess I do because we've been together for over four years now. But maybe, I would've changed directions if I had just shut my eyes and not paid attention to her beauty. I like everything about this chick except her mouth, way of thinking, and the way she likes to try to force her opinion. Even if I tell the woman "she's right", she still goes on and on and on and on, until you just have to say "Shut The Hell Up." I don't cuss at her or use vulgar language towards her but she argues too much and I just want to explode. You know how it is: Some people just have to be "right" and they want to make sure You know that they're "right".

And, I'm no peach or walk in the park either. There are two sides to every story. I don't know who she's telling her side to and really I don't care. But, I feel this is the best way for me to tell my side. Hopefully, this will help or comfort some of the people dealing with the same situation or people who can relate. A lot us have been there or seen it or fear it. Everybody needs a little help and guidance sorting this Love crap out and I don't mind being the "sacrificial lamb" for amusement or education. But, Billions of people are dealing with this sh*t we call Love. I know I'm not alone. Men (AND women) are dealing with relationship drama everyday. And if laughing or learning from my bullsh*t-ass relationship can keep them from snapping, then criticize, dissect, learn, and enjoy.

99% Of The Books You Read About Relationships Are B.S.!

I've got about 20 or so books on how to improve my relationship. But, I didn't buy them to learn how to improve my relationship. I bought them to learn how to improve my writing because someday I hope to write a book. I see women (friends and family members) with some of these same books in their personal library at home. Most of these books are full of crap and repeat the same crap over and over again. And a lot of people (men and women) believe the sh*t that's in these books. More than likely because they don't have a lot of experience in romantic relationships or because they don't learn from the experiences that they DO have with romantic relationships. I haven't been able to read 10 pages total of all the books I have. And I've thumbed through them and read some of the paragraphs up and down, back and forth. It's all the same sh*t:

You have to communicate
You have to compromise and sacrifice
Relationships take a lot of work
You have to be understanding
Men and women are different creatures
Men and women think differently
Blah, blah, blah.

And media (like Good Morning America) helps to promote the book and the writer (like Steve Harvey) like they're both full of expert advice on how to save a relationship.

We all know this stuff. It's important but it's not new. You don't need a book or a "quack" to tell you this stuff. It's something we should all know regardless of what kind of relationship it is - whether it's romantic, business, or personal.

And half of them blame men for most of the trouble in the relationship and the other half subliminally try to convince the woman to "train" or "trick" the man (or partner) into being what she wants him/her to be. They KNOW women will spend money that crap. Those "relationship gurus" and "quacks" are just trying to sell a book to make a quick buck, that's all. Don't believe all those dumbass surveys and Theories.

Some of that stuff is funny but it's not useful for sh*t. They're either too vague or off-base from your reality, lifestyle, or situation. Most of them don't even keep it real.

If so many of those books and Experts were really full of good advice and tips on how to save a relationship, do you think we would see so many divorces and so much cheatin' going on? Of course not. The World would be a happier place.

But don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing Steve Harvey or his book. I haven't seen it and don't even know what the cover looks like. I'm just commenting on the MAJORITY of the books out there. Like, I said, at least 1% of them are worth your hard earned money (and Steve Harvey's book may be one of them), but, unless you're buying the book for entertainment purposes, choose wisely.