Wednesday, November 2, 2011

How To Fight Love For A Trifling Man Or Woman

Dave Hollister - One Woman Man

Video provided by - tutnoses


This post is going to be short and sweet - I hope. And, although this topic really ain't earth-shaking news, I HAVE to talk about it because my mind is flooding again with many topics and I'm starting to feel paralyzed and lazy.

The reason I have to talk about this particular topic is because one of my cousins' exes spotted me while I was on my way to the bank to withdraw some cash and I guess she just wanted to hear about what I've been up to since we haven't seen each other in so long.

But, the conversation quickly shifted to her past relationship with my cousin. She was deeply in love with him (and still is). BUT, she's proud that she has finally found a way to overcome her obsession for him and her desire to chase after him.

She believed wholeheartedly that they were meant for each other and that one day they would get married and live happily ever after. But, he played that broad from "day one". He led her on, wasted her time, humiliated her, and stressed her out.

A trifling man or woman will do that to you if you're not strong enough to love yourself more than you love them - or, if you don't recognize their real intentions early on.

But... when you're deep deep deep in love like she is, it's hard to leave no matter how bad you're treated because you're so attached to the person and you're always hoping things will better. Or, you think that somehow that you can MAKE this person (or convince him or her) to love you.

For years, she thought she was the man's main squeeze. And all the while he was dating other chicks at the same time that he was dating her. One or two of those girls he had even met BEFORE he met her. So, she was a "side-chick" and didn't even know it! A few scragglers came in the picture later on but, all ovem were "chicks on the side".

I always felt bad that I participated in his "scams" and scheming because I've known this girl for a long time, but what could I do? He wasn't just my cousin, we were homeboys too.

And, besides that, his other girlfriends were just as sweet as she was. All of them were nice. There wasn't one that I liked more than the other or anyone that I liked less. They were all cool with me. Anyone of them could talk to me about anything. I felt like we were ALL related.


She talked to me for a while about how she thought he loved her and how she was hoping that he would straighten up and be smart enough to settle down with her, but she was also wise enough to see through his games and B.S. and not wait around for a miracle. So, she kept her options open.

They had been dating for few years... Well, she had been one of his girls for a few years and there came a point where she needed help with some of her bills (so did he) and she suggested that they move in together to save money and expand their horizons. But, he said "No".

Now, this girl was buying a Home. She had her own transportation - a sweet little Nissan Maxima. She was a hard worker. Sexy as hell. Bodacious. Pretty. She was a "poster girl" and spokesperson for (probably) one of Your favorite beverages. And, she had a positive attitude.

He still said, "hell naw."


Now, why would anybody with any good damn sense pass on a fine jewel such as this???


Some men ain't smart enough to want a good woman like that. They'd rather mix and mingle and enjoy their freedom and variety.

Some women ain't smart enough to accept and appreciate a good man like that. They love eye-candy and want to marry a fantasy.

And, some people are just so full of themselves that they're in love with the all the attention.

When she asked him why not, he made up all kinds of quirky shit that she basically said sounded stupid, so she moved on.

Later (less than a year), he moved another chick in to live with him.

She was dumbfounded - Hell, she was flabbergasted!

Here he was claiming that he wasn't ready to live with a woman and that jackass moved a woman and her kids into his house!

I know that pissed her off, but I don't know if that's what made her snap and drove her to get married to someone else or not.

It's a shame if it was because she says now the honeymoon is over and her marriage is not as good as it was at the beginning.

So, she has been thinking about my cousin again...

But, she told me he is still lying and hasn't quite grown up yet. He still wants to be a player.

The other girl he moved in is now gone. His house is a shambles. He's over there starving half to death. And, he still wants to toy with this woman's mind.

When will this dude open his eyes and stop being a chump???

His pride must have him by the balls.

I wouldn't be surprised if she is now playing with his mind and laughing at him suffer and grovel in his loneliness.

He ought to just let that girl go and find him one sweet girl to settle down with.

But, he still thinks that he can outsmart this chick. He hasn't realized that he has NEVER outsmarted her. That girl can read him like a book! She knows he's full shit. He's just too damn dumb to realize that the girl is in love with him and that is the only reason that she's still hanging around.

Any fool ought to have enough sense to know that a man's game is no match for a woman's intuition or female instincts! (If the woman has some game also.)

But, still, she is blinded by Love...

So, let me remind you of something (before you get in too deep):

When a man (or a woman) is sleeping with (or in a relationship with) two or more people, it's gonna be difficult for him (or her) to fall in love with one person.

One reason is because he (or she), doesn't have the time to truly invest into getting to know one person.

Another reason is because he (or she), isn't giving him or herself the opportunity to get deeply emotionally attached to one person.

All he (or she) is concerned about is having fun. He may care for the girl. Or, she may care for the guy, but ultimately, the player's main concern is about his or her needs and desires. He or she is selfish and distracted by greed for various companionship and lust for sex.

When a man or woman is living like that, the only kind of relationship they'll be satisfied with is a "friends with benefits" type of thing. And, honestly, that's all SOME people want! They don't want to become emotionally involved. They don't want to get too attached! They enjoy being single and free to sleep around.

Don't stress yourself out about it. And, ain't no use in trying to change the heathen.

Don't continue to beg for this person's love and let him or her toy with your emotions. Get out and just date! Meet new people. Find something to occupy your time and energy. Find something else to fight for! Go out and help save the World! Go to school. Stay away from conversations about that bum.

I know it's hard to do. I know your feelings won't go away overnight. In fact, they may even last a lifetime. But be aware of that reality. And realize that just because you have those feelings doesn't mean that you have to act on them.

Stay away and let Time heal the hurt and pain that you feel. Be strong and realize that this person is like a cancer to your life and bringing you down to a point that you can't help the other people that depend on you and need you.

You're wasting your time on this type of person if you think he or she is gonna fall in love any time soon. You could love him or her all you want but that ain't gonna change his or her habits and character. He or she is still going to treat you like shit. That asshole ain't gonna change until he or she is ready.

And, if you wait around like this chick did for my cousin - hoping that one day that person might see the light, you might be living off of Hope for a long time.

Don't waste your Life on something or someone that has no value to you. Move on.

- loveqna


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J.E.Chapman said...

Are these comments adds?Anywho,I enjoyed your piece,your writing style is almost as big of a hook as the title,after the first paragraph, what I was reading about was dead even with how you were writing.It wouldve been nice to have read this artical 30 yrs. ago,love causes more,harder pain,than about anything on God's green earth.Im smater because of love,a bit stronger too,but It wasnt worth it looking back. Good blog

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