I just realized it's after midnight, so I'll have to post this tomorrow after I get off of work. And, I'd like to talk to some of my co-workers about what "Men Don't Know About Women And Love".
Both of these will be short posts, but I've been thinking about this subject for a few years now.
notes...
Women think all men would rather have lots of women
women think all men would cheat if they had the opportunity
most women think men don't like romance or to be romantic
most women think all men don't know how to be romantic
women don't realize men get broken-hearted
men fear being cheated on and manipulated
all men don't cheat
there are men out there looking for love and marriage and families - open your eyes
some guys are waiting on ms. right and real love before they get intimate
there are men out there that believe in "happily ever after" - and these ain't sensitive men and wimps either
dumb jokes and brain-washing through the propagation of myths keep women in the blind
how a woman can tell if a man really loves her or not (possible notes) doesn't apply to all men in love (some men show their love by serving,
- showing her off
- calling her to see how she's doing - wanting to make sure she's happy and safe
- calling her to see if she wants to spend time with him - wanting to be with her when possible
- being generous
- not giving her rules - like "call me before you come over". he wants to see her as much as he can
- when something great happens to him, he wants to tell her first
- being respectful
- accepting her how she is and not trying to change her
- doing everyday things for her without her asking - anyone can do something special here and there
- maybe a little jealous at times maybe
-
different men have different ways of showing love
men really do fall in love
reading men - what does the prospect want? your love or your body?
things that make men fall in love - only one: overall package but personality is most important after he gets to know her. this goes for anyone.
is she fun
is she adventurous
is she smart
is she supportive
is she kind
is she loyal
is she faithful
is she trustworthy
beauty does play a part in love for some men but does that kind of love last or does it disappear when she gets old?
what captivates the man (or mesmerizes him) to the point that he's thinking about the woman all the time and can't let go?
what does he admire about her? each man is different and each woman is different therefore what affects the man depends on the vibe of the woman and her game.
does he appreciate her mind, her style, her abilities? the way she looks at life? the way she deals with the world? her philosophies? is she regal? her accomplishments? the way she treats him?
a woman should be able to feel when a man truly loves her and when he doesn't - if she can't, she's not using her instincts. or she may be in love, obsessed, and blind to the reality of the situation
two people who are in love usually will operate or live on the same wavelength and feel each others' vibes.
chemistry is major and leads to real love
- a connection is only a connection and not as strong as chemistry
- men who want to love look for same connections that women look for
- having common interests, goals, taste, backgrounds, opinions (but these do not guarantee chemistry or love
chemistry can be on a friendly level and not on a romantic level
could a man in love cheat (have discussed this before in earlier post)
a woman should not test a man's love but some women do this - especially those who try to make the man jealous or drag him into altercations or fights
love can ruin a man's life - is this why some men avoid it by being a player? to avoid being a sucker?
does being a player make a man numb to love? true. he doesn't give the woman a chance to win his heart or give love a chance to affect him.
no one can fight love if it's true love, it will conquer you
a man can fall in love with different things about a woman and not fall in love with her - therefore, he'll keep her in order for no one else to have her
does he love her or does he love tormenting her? domineering. control freak? can't find anyone else? why does he do this?
a woman should never try to force love or plead for love, if it's not there there's nothing she or the man can do about it. he can be faithful and loyal and kind, but love has to take hold on its own
why do men suffer abuse instead of leaving the relationship like some abused women?
men who return to a cheater - list real life examples or famous examples?
NEW! Simp Or Sucker? You Be The Judge.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Common Ways To Strrike-up A Conversation
Here are a few more notes for those of you who want to reduce your fear (or shyness) of approaching prospects or striking up a conversation in a social setting.
I made a spectacle of myself at the Halloween party last night. I was having a great time until the alcohol caught up with me. I was staggering and falling all over the place. I never actually fell down but I had a hard time standing up. My head was spinning so bad that, finally, I just had to sit down. And, That was a big mistake... Everything started spinning faster then. I'm ashamed to say it but I had to "earl" (throw-up) a few times. I was dizzy and sick as dog. That "monkey" jumped on my back and couldn't shake him off. Luckily, no one saw me. They all thought I was just too drunk to stand.
I dressed as a "rocker" with long hair. I was sharp and sexy as hell. Those women were really checking me out - hard. Hell, I was a damn good time until that vodka started kickin' my ass.
I had only one social faux pas (besides getting too drunk to stand) and that was staring at one of co-workers who I would've never imagined would dress-up as a woman. He was as ugly as sin, but it was a great costume. I have to give him his props.
Anyway...
It was a very sociable event and we all had a wonderful time.
Everybody was talking, mixing, and mingling (including me until I got drunk) and the most common conversation starters were:
"I love your costume."
"What are you?"
"Did you see so-and-so's costume?"
"What are you drinking?"
"Did you try the pasta? It's really good."
"So-and-so is here."
"How do you know so-and-so? Do you two work at the same place?"
etc.
These are common ice-breakers to get someone's attention and start-up a conversation.
Compliments
Bulletins
General Questions
Inquiries
etc.
You don't have to think hard about this stuff or feel shy about it. Just BE CURIOUS. Feel free to talk about yourself sometimes. Pass along information. Don't be shy about giving someone a compliment who deserves it. And, don't forget to praise people when they deserve it. These are EASY ice-breakers to get a conversation going and to get to know someone better. But, just think about small-talk. small-talk. small-talk.
Don't think too far ahead or your brain will trip over your tongue.
You already know what you want anyway, right?
You either want to socialize, make the person laugh, get the person to agree to something, complain, find someone who shares your opinion about a certain thing, get some information, or get to know this person better. So why think about it???
Just open-up the conversation with some small-talk using an ice-breaker.
Here are a few more:
"Did you hear about...?"
"I can't believe what happened at ---- today."
"I like your hair. It's cute."
"I'm never going to (that store) again!"
"Did you see the price of -----? What a rip-off!"
"Did I tell you what happened at work today?"
"You look nice. Is that what you wore to work today? What kind of work do you do?"
"Is that chicken salad good? Where did you get it? Was it expensive?"
"Did you hear about what happened to...?"
"Who won the football game today? Who's your team?"
"It seems like every time I come here, they have something new."
"The -----s are gorgeous aren't they?"
There are millions and millions of ice-breakers and conversation starters that you can use. Most of the time, it's all a matter of timing and circumstances.
Sometimes, you can start a conversation with a flirtatious remark or compliment.
Sometimes, with a joke or a quip.
Sometimes with words of caution.
It'll be easy for you once you start practicing.
The best way to improve is to practice using ice-breakers often. The more you use them, the more you will be comfortable about striking up a conversation. And, the better you will be at getting people's attention - including prospects.
The second best way is to listen to people when they FIRST strike-up a conversation with small-talk. If you do this, you will learn a multitude ways to start-up a conversation with anybody.
The third best way is too pay attention to what's going on IN and AROUND your life. Pay attention to the news. Stay in the know about what's going on with the people you associate with. Be aware of what's going on at work. Be aware of what's going on in your community and in the World. When you know what's going, you have so much information share with others and people love information.
Another great way to improve your skills in ice-breakers and small-talk is to also improve your memory. A good memory will help you remember ice-breakers. It will also help you tell better stories because you will be able to remember facts and good jokes that you've heard. And, this will help the people that you're talking to experience what you have to say better.
And, don't forget your body language, facial expressions, and delivery! You can really get people to engage when they are able to "read" your enthusiasm through the tone of your voice or see it in your face and body language.
And, there are other ways too but I don't want to overload this post because really it's just supposed to be notes.
The main thing to remember is to pay attention, learn, and interact. Keep it up, and you'll be yappin' away, having fun, and feeling good about it in no time.
I made a spectacle of myself at the Halloween party last night. I was having a great time until the alcohol caught up with me. I was staggering and falling all over the place. I never actually fell down but I had a hard time standing up. My head was spinning so bad that, finally, I just had to sit down. And, That was a big mistake... Everything started spinning faster then. I'm ashamed to say it but I had to "earl" (throw-up) a few times. I was dizzy and sick as dog. That "monkey" jumped on my back and couldn't shake him off. Luckily, no one saw me. They all thought I was just too drunk to stand.
I dressed as a "rocker" with long hair. I was sharp and sexy as hell. Those women were really checking me out - hard. Hell, I was a damn good time until that vodka started kickin' my ass.
I had only one social faux pas (besides getting too drunk to stand) and that was staring at one of co-workers who I would've never imagined would dress-up as a woman. He was as ugly as sin, but it was a great costume. I have to give him his props.
Anyway...
It was a very sociable event and we all had a wonderful time.
Everybody was talking, mixing, and mingling (including me until I got drunk) and the most common conversation starters were:
"I love your costume."
"What are you?"
"Did you see so-and-so's costume?"
"What are you drinking?"
"Did you try the pasta? It's really good."
"So-and-so is here."
"How do you know so-and-so? Do you two work at the same place?"
etc.
These are common ice-breakers to get someone's attention and start-up a conversation.
Compliments
Bulletins
General Questions
Inquiries
etc.
You don't have to think hard about this stuff or feel shy about it. Just BE CURIOUS. Feel free to talk about yourself sometimes. Pass along information. Don't be shy about giving someone a compliment who deserves it. And, don't forget to praise people when they deserve it. These are EASY ice-breakers to get a conversation going and to get to know someone better. But, just think about small-talk. small-talk. small-talk.
Don't think too far ahead or your brain will trip over your tongue.
You already know what you want anyway, right?
You either want to socialize, make the person laugh, get the person to agree to something, complain, find someone who shares your opinion about a certain thing, get some information, or get to know this person better. So why think about it???
Just open-up the conversation with some small-talk using an ice-breaker.
Here are a few more:
"Did you hear about...?"
"I can't believe what happened at ---- today."
"I like your hair. It's cute."
"I'm never going to (that store) again!"
"Did you see the price of -----? What a rip-off!"
"Did I tell you what happened at work today?"
"You look nice. Is that what you wore to work today? What kind of work do you do?"
"Is that chicken salad good? Where did you get it? Was it expensive?"
"Did you hear about what happened to...?"
"Who won the football game today? Who's your team?"
"It seems like every time I come here, they have something new."
"The -----s are gorgeous aren't they?"
There are millions and millions of ice-breakers and conversation starters that you can use. Most of the time, it's all a matter of timing and circumstances.
Sometimes, you can start a conversation with a flirtatious remark or compliment.
Sometimes, with a joke or a quip.
Sometimes with words of caution.
It'll be easy for you once you start practicing.
The best way to improve is to practice using ice-breakers often. The more you use them, the more you will be comfortable about striking up a conversation. And, the better you will be at getting people's attention - including prospects.
The second best way is to listen to people when they FIRST strike-up a conversation with small-talk. If you do this, you will learn a multitude ways to start-up a conversation with anybody.
The third best way is too pay attention to what's going on IN and AROUND your life. Pay attention to the news. Stay in the know about what's going on with the people you associate with. Be aware of what's going on at work. Be aware of what's going on in your community and in the World. When you know what's going, you have so much information share with others and people love information.
Another great way to improve your skills in ice-breakers and small-talk is to also improve your memory. A good memory will help you remember ice-breakers. It will also help you tell better stories because you will be able to remember facts and good jokes that you've heard. And, this will help the people that you're talking to experience what you have to say better.
And, don't forget your body language, facial expressions, and delivery! You can really get people to engage when they are able to "read" your enthusiasm through the tone of your voice or see it in your face and body language.
And, there are other ways too but I don't want to overload this post because really it's just supposed to be notes.
The main thing to remember is to pay attention, learn, and interact. Keep it up, and you'll be yappin' away, having fun, and feeling good about it in no time.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Conversation Topics - more notes
This is the last notes I'm gonna do for tonight because I have to be up in about five hours for work.
We've all heard of the basic conversation starters many books will tell you to use like: the weather, school, work, sports, music, news, etc.
These are all conversations topics for making small-talk.
And small talk is nothing more than sharing opinions and getting to know your friends better.
Find out about the person's interests, work, and what's happening in their life.
What do they agree with or disagree with.
What has pissed them off recently.
Has anything funny happened to them today.
Has anything exciting happened in their lives recently? New baby? New car? New job? Whatever.
Share some things about yourself.
What have you done recently.
Are you planning a trip or vacation?
Do you hate traffic in your city?
Have you been shocked by something you recently seen, heard, tasted, smelled?
Has any of your friends or family members disappointed you or pissed you off?
Are you undecided about what to get a friend for his or her birthday and need some advice?
There are billions of things to talk about.
But, if you're still stuck on what topics to talk about, just dig deeper and deeper.
Let's use "work" for an example.
- where do you work?
- what kind of work do you do?
- do you manufacture the products or are you a distributor?
- do you work in an office?
- how long have you been doing that?
- do you like it?
- how did you get into that?
- did you have to go to school for that? Was it hard?
- do a lot of people work there?
- does it have a high turnover rate?
- that place is located over there on Main Street, isn't it?
- is this something you want to do as a career?
- do you have male or female boss?
I could go on and on with small-talk because there are so many questions you could ask and so many statements that can be made. For instance...
- I've heard of that place. You guys are in competition with -----.
- that place is over there on Main Street, ain't it?
- that's right near where those scrubs hang out. Forty of them were arrested last night in a raid.
- I heard they pay good money and have good benefits.
- I have a friend that used to work there. You might know him.
- That place has been there for over a hundred years.
- you know how they got into distribution, don't you?
All you're doing is telling the person you're talking to what YOU know about the subject.
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT!
Small-talk and Ice-breakers are only used to get the conversation going. You can always turn it up a notch by telling how the subject (or topic) affected you or how you feel about it.
Usually, this will lead to another subject. And, in this case, it's good to change the subject.
Let's use "the weather" for example.
You could say something like:
"I hope it rains."
"Why?"
- my (children) want me to drive them to the --- concert.
- i don't know what they see in ----.
- i just don't understand what would make anyone want to listen to that kind of music.
- do you remember the band called -----? that was back in the 80s. now, that was some good music.
There was more to this conversation but I can't remember it all.
But, do you see how it started about the weather and moved on to "this new generation" and then on to "old school music"?
And the conversation still could've been going on about parties, gadgets from back in that era, the clothing styles, how he met his wife, favorite artists, favorite hangouts from that era, the school he used to go to....
Listen to other people talk and engage in small-talk often.
Even if you don't engage in it, get in the discussion and be a good listener.
Well, I'm going to sleep. I have a busy day ahead of me but it's also another day of learning and discovery so I'll be back with another post in a few days.
Until then, take care.
We've all heard of the basic conversation starters many books will tell you to use like: the weather, school, work, sports, music, news, etc.
These are all conversations topics for making small-talk.
And small talk is nothing more than sharing opinions and getting to know your friends better.
Find out about the person's interests, work, and what's happening in their life.
What do they agree with or disagree with.
What has pissed them off recently.
Has anything funny happened to them today.
Has anything exciting happened in their lives recently? New baby? New car? New job? Whatever.
Share some things about yourself.
What have you done recently.
Are you planning a trip or vacation?
Do you hate traffic in your city?
Have you been shocked by something you recently seen, heard, tasted, smelled?
Has any of your friends or family members disappointed you or pissed you off?
Are you undecided about what to get a friend for his or her birthday and need some advice?
There are billions of things to talk about.
But, if you're still stuck on what topics to talk about, just dig deeper and deeper.
Let's use "work" for an example.
- where do you work?
- what kind of work do you do?
- do you manufacture the products or are you a distributor?
- do you work in an office?
- how long have you been doing that?
- do you like it?
- how did you get into that?
- did you have to go to school for that? Was it hard?
- do a lot of people work there?
- does it have a high turnover rate?
- that place is located over there on Main Street, isn't it?
- is this something you want to do as a career?
- do you have male or female boss?
I could go on and on with small-talk because there are so many questions you could ask and so many statements that can be made. For instance...
- I've heard of that place. You guys are in competition with -----.
- that place is over there on Main Street, ain't it?
- that's right near where those scrubs hang out. Forty of them were arrested last night in a raid.
- I heard they pay good money and have good benefits.
- I have a friend that used to work there. You might know him.
- That place has been there for over a hundred years.
- you know how they got into distribution, don't you?
All you're doing is telling the person you're talking to what YOU know about the subject.
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT!
Small-talk and Ice-breakers are only used to get the conversation going. You can always turn it up a notch by telling how the subject (or topic) affected you or how you feel about it.
Usually, this will lead to another subject. And, in this case, it's good to change the subject.
Let's use "the weather" for example.
You could say something like:
"I hope it rains."
"Why?"
- my (children) want me to drive them to the --- concert.
- i don't know what they see in ----.
- i just don't understand what would make anyone want to listen to that kind of music.
- do you remember the band called -----? that was back in the 80s. now, that was some good music.
There was more to this conversation but I can't remember it all.
But, do you see how it started about the weather and moved on to "this new generation" and then on to "old school music"?
And the conversation still could've been going on about parties, gadgets from back in that era, the clothing styles, how he met his wife, favorite artists, favorite hangouts from that era, the school he used to go to....
Listen to other people talk and engage in small-talk often.
Even if you don't engage in it, get in the discussion and be a good listener.
Well, I'm going to sleep. I have a busy day ahead of me but it's also another day of learning and discovery so I'll be back with another post in a few days.
Until then, take care.
Delivery And Body Language
More notes on Conversation Skills for people who lack social confidence.
When it comes to interacting with people, everybody is different. I see hundreds of people everyday and hardly any of them has the same level of enthusiasm when talking with each other.
Sometimes I'll see an excited person standing around talking to someone who's just smiling and listening. Sometimes, I'll hear one person telling another person a joke and the other person is acting as if he isn't listening. But, the joker is still laughing anyway. I'll see some people who are grouchy and complaining talking to people who aren't even listening.
I used to believe that a lot of people were just weird.
Most tips on conversation skills will tell to mimic the person you're talking to and look them in the eye and listen attentively, but I believe most people only follow that rule when the conversation moves small-talk to more intimate levels.
Yeah, there are times when you're gonna pay close attention to the person you're talking to and laugh, and chill, and look surprised or whatever, but that should come naturally as you "read" the other person and hear what they have to say.
If you're sitting around joking, be casual and relax.
If the conversation moves to more serious matters, engage and listen so that you don't miss out and feel foolish if they want to discuss this issue again.
And be the same way when you strike-up a conversation.
Use your hands sometimes.
Have good posture at least when you're standing but be relax when you're chilling.
Speak-up and don't mumble.
Be excited to see your friends and friendly faces. Make them feel important and "welcomed" - even if they were there first.
When you're about your business, be serious and engaged.
When it comes to interacting with people, everybody is different. I see hundreds of people everyday and hardly any of them has the same level of enthusiasm when talking with each other.
Sometimes I'll see an excited person standing around talking to someone who's just smiling and listening. Sometimes, I'll hear one person telling another person a joke and the other person is acting as if he isn't listening. But, the joker is still laughing anyway. I'll see some people who are grouchy and complaining talking to people who aren't even listening.
I used to believe that a lot of people were just weird.
Most tips on conversation skills will tell to mimic the person you're talking to and look them in the eye and listen attentively, but I believe most people only follow that rule when the conversation moves small-talk to more intimate levels.
Yeah, there are times when you're gonna pay close attention to the person you're talking to and laugh, and chill, and look surprised or whatever, but that should come naturally as you "read" the other person and hear what they have to say.
If you're sitting around joking, be casual and relax.
If the conversation moves to more serious matters, engage and listen so that you don't miss out and feel foolish if they want to discuss this issue again.
And be the same way when you strike-up a conversation.
Use your hands sometimes.
Have good posture at least when you're standing but be relax when you're chilling.
Speak-up and don't mumble.
Be excited to see your friends and friendly faces. Make them feel important and "welcomed" - even if they were there first.
When you're about your business, be serious and engaged.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Conversation Topics - Basics
Here are a few more notes for those who are trying to improve their conversation skills.
I don't have my actual notes because I'm in bed and the lights are off and I'm too lazy to get my notebook or my other computer. But, I have a few notes in my head...
When you want to strike up a conversation, you have the options of
- sharing news
- announcing something that happened to you
- asking a question to get more information about something
- complaining about a situation or an event that you don't or didn't like
- complimenting someone
- responding to a question, statement, or body language
- commenting on something you see, hear, taste, smell, etc.
- you could share your opinion
- sharing a fact about a subject someone is talking about
There are many ways to strike up a conversation.
Listen to how other people talk and what they talk about - especially current events and news. And, also try to remember the hot topics of the day so that you can stay in the know about what's going on and speak on it.
If you approach a guy or a girl or if you're just talking to friends, use one of these formats. And pay attention to the formats other people use so that you can learn how to be more interesting in your conversations.
- loveqna
I don't have my actual notes because I'm in bed and the lights are off and I'm too lazy to get my notebook or my other computer. But, I have a few notes in my head...
When you want to strike up a conversation, you have the options of
- sharing news
- announcing something that happened to you
- asking a question to get more information about something
- complaining about a situation or an event that you don't or didn't like
- complimenting someone
- responding to a question, statement, or body language
- commenting on something you see, hear, taste, smell, etc.
- you could share your opinion
- sharing a fact about a subject someone is talking about
There are many ways to strike up a conversation.
Listen to how other people talk and what they talk about - especially current events and news. And, also try to remember the hot topics of the day so that you can stay in the know about what's going on and speak on it.
If you approach a guy or a girl or if you're just talking to friends, use one of these formats. And pay attention to the formats other people use so that you can learn how to be more interesting in your conversations.
- loveqna
Good Vibes - The Real Confidence Booster - notes
I'm gonna try to keep this short because I want to post other notes to help you just in case you decide to go out partying this weekend...
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Macy Gray - Beauty In The World
Video provided by - MacyGrayVEVO
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In one of the previous posts (How To Improve (or Boost) Confidence - Tactics and Techniques - notes) I suggested that you should want to tap into your psyche and realize any activity, situation, object, or idea that might help you boost your confidence and to use it as a catalyst or a vehicle to ignite AND maintain your confidence in social situations.
If money gives you swagger, stack some cash.
If you feel better when your hair and nails are done, go to the beauty shop and tell them to fix you up.
If having a nice car makes you feel better about yourself, focus on treating yourself to that.
But, what if you're broke (poor) and can't afford to get your hair and nails done? Or, you can't afford the payments on a hot car???
What do you look to or WHERE do you look for confidence then?
One way is through achievement of your goals.
Think about it...
When you accomplish ANY goal, no matter how large or small, you feel better when you've gotten the thing taken care of and done with. You feel better because you don't have to worry, stress, or attend to it any more.
You might even feel proud about it and tell people all you had to go through to get the goal accomplished.
But, you really feel good because you now move on with your life and work on something new or chill. And, you have more time to do other things than to mess with THAT goal anymore. You're Free from what EVER it was you HAD to do.
Who likes running errands?
Who likes doing home repairs?
Who likes going waiting in lines?
Nobody!
But, once you get those chores done and out of the way, you feel a heck of a lot better because you feel free!
Your wife (or husband) is happy. You don't have to fight traffic or waste your time stopping by the store when you could be spending valuable time working on your golf swing.
You now have your life back and you can relax and do whatever you like because you don't have to plan or work and re-work your schedule to attend to those goals.
Imagine that feeling for a moment...
Being free.
You don't owe anyone anything.
You're not obligated to anyone to do anything.
There's no place you have to be at a certain time.
No deadlines.
You can go wherever you want to go and come and go as you please.
No questions asked.
Imagine having that much freedom when you go out and socialize...
You can stay as long as you like and have as much fun as you want to have.
Now, let's dig a little bit deeper.
Let's imagine that you don't owe anyone anything.
You're not obligated to anyone for anything.
You don't need anything from anyone.
You don't have to impress anyone.
Again, you're free.
Your only goals are to follow your own rules, do what you like, and to have a good time.
You can strike up a conversation with whomever you want and talk about whatever you like.
The idea is to be free and to enjoy life.
It's all about having a good time no matter what material possessions you have or don't have.
It's all about having fun and enjoying life no matter how you look or how much money you've got.
People criticize and judge, but everybody is not judging You.
And, if they are, so what? Who cares???
You're your own Man or Woman.
You know what you want and you that eventually you will get it. And, deep down, you know HOW to get it. Nothing can stop you except You. And, because you know what you're about; and you know your heart, and what you have to offer to the World; Now is the time to relax, let your hair down, and have fun.
Keep that in mind.
Live Free and Enjoy Your Life.
- loveqna
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Macy Gray - Beauty In The World
Video provided by - MacyGrayVEVO
----------------------------------------------
In one of the previous posts (How To Improve (or Boost) Confidence - Tactics and Techniques - notes) I suggested that you should want to tap into your psyche and realize any activity, situation, object, or idea that might help you boost your confidence and to use it as a catalyst or a vehicle to ignite AND maintain your confidence in social situations.
If money gives you swagger, stack some cash.
If you feel better when your hair and nails are done, go to the beauty shop and tell them to fix you up.
If having a nice car makes you feel better about yourself, focus on treating yourself to that.
But, what if you're broke (poor) and can't afford to get your hair and nails done? Or, you can't afford the payments on a hot car???
What do you look to or WHERE do you look for confidence then?
One way is through achievement of your goals.
Think about it...
When you accomplish ANY goal, no matter how large or small, you feel better when you've gotten the thing taken care of and done with. You feel better because you don't have to worry, stress, or attend to it any more.
You might even feel proud about it and tell people all you had to go through to get the goal accomplished.
But, you really feel good because you now move on with your life and work on something new or chill. And, you have more time to do other things than to mess with THAT goal anymore. You're Free from what EVER it was you HAD to do.
Who likes running errands?
Who likes doing home repairs?
Who likes going waiting in lines?
Nobody!
But, once you get those chores done and out of the way, you feel a heck of a lot better because you feel free!
Your wife (or husband) is happy. You don't have to fight traffic or waste your time stopping by the store when you could be spending valuable time working on your golf swing.
You now have your life back and you can relax and do whatever you like because you don't have to plan or work and re-work your schedule to attend to those goals.
Imagine that feeling for a moment...
Being free.
You don't owe anyone anything.
You're not obligated to anyone to do anything.
There's no place you have to be at a certain time.
No deadlines.
You can go wherever you want to go and come and go as you please.
No questions asked.
Imagine having that much freedom when you go out and socialize...
You can stay as long as you like and have as much fun as you want to have.
Now, let's dig a little bit deeper.
Let's imagine that you don't owe anyone anything.
You're not obligated to anyone for anything.
You don't need anything from anyone.
You don't have to impress anyone.
Again, you're free.
Your only goals are to follow your own rules, do what you like, and to have a good time.
You can strike up a conversation with whomever you want and talk about whatever you like.
The idea is to be free and to enjoy life.
It's all about having a good time no matter what material possessions you have or don't have.
It's all about having fun and enjoying life no matter how you look or how much money you've got.
People criticize and judge, but everybody is not judging You.
And, if they are, so what? Who cares???
You're your own Man or Woman.
You know what you want and you that eventually you will get it. And, deep down, you know HOW to get it. Nothing can stop you except You. And, because you know what you're about; and you know your heart, and what you have to offer to the World; Now is the time to relax, let your hair down, and have fun.
Keep that in mind.
Live Free and Enjoy Your Life.
- loveqna
50 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat
This is an incomplete list of "why men and women cheat" to be updated soon. I've considered adding other types of articles that may be of better use, so I'm holding off on publishing any more from my notes for now.
20 Signs He Or She Is Cheating
50 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat
Why Cheating Is So Hard To Stop
How A Good Relationship Goes Bad
Major Factors Of Cheating
Common Factors Of Cheating
Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex - 1
Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex - 2
Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex - 3
5 Ways "NEGLECT" Can Cause A Man Or Woman To Cheat
Why This Crusade Against Cheating? - 1
Does It Really Matter If Women KNOW Why Men Cheat?
20 Signs He Or She Is Cheating
50 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat
Why Cheating Is So Hard To Stop
How A Good Relationship Goes Bad
Major Factors Of Cheating
Common Factors Of Cheating
Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex - 1
Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex - 2
Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex - 3
5 Ways "NEGLECT" Can Cause A Man Or Woman To Cheat
Why This Crusade Against Cheating? - 1
Does It Really Matter If Women KNOW Why Men Cheat?
How To Improve (or Boost) Confidence - Tactics and Techniques - notes
Another Great Ric Flair Interview
Video provided by - merriman24
-----------------------------------
Here's a good tip that you can use to improve your confidence and reduce shyness...
First, look deep inside yourself and realize what your confidence boosters are.
For some people, it's money. For others, it's their skills. Knowledge is a confidence booster also. Some people are confident and proud because of status or their achievements.
What makes you confident around certain people or in certain situations?
What makes you forget your problems?
What makes you forget your fears?
What makes you forget feeling bashful?
When you discover what your confidence boosters are, you have to apply them to other aspects of your "game" in order to improve your confidence and overall swagger. Especially if you want to improve your Life and success at getting what you want, need, and deserve.
If you see a hot guy or girl standing over there (waiting in a line, or in their locker, or looking at foodstuff at the grocery store, or waiting in line at a fast-food restaurant) what are you gonna do if you don't have the confidence to say something???
You ain't gonna do jack-shit except let that opportunity pass you by.
That "prize" is gonna walk right out of your life... And, you might not ever see him or her again...
This might be a good week to start up a conversation with that co-worker you've been checking out. But, you won't know if it's a good week or not if you don't have the balls to flirt a little or make SOME kind of move.
So, find your confidence boosters and that will help reduce your shyness.
Now, everybody is Not confident all the time. I've seen some brave men and strong women get nervous and sweat in some situations. I've seen them ask other people for their opinion or advice about what they should do and what actions they should take to succeed in a situation. So, everybody isn't confident all the time.
And, that's not always a bad thing. You can miss out on a good thing sometimes but you can also learn from the experience. And, that's what Life is all about: Learning and Growing...
Anyway,
There are some situations where we will lack confidence.
There are some situations where we are over-confident.
There are some situations that we fear.
Shyness, of course, is a form of fear.
Daydreaming instead of "Doing" (or taking action) can ruin your confidence. Some people love to daydream and imagine things that they COULD get if they only TOOK action instead of sitting around thinking about what action to take.
It's all about "making moves" and being good at what you do. And, the more you do something the better you get at it and the more confident you feel about IT and yourself.
You have to learn it, work it, and keep doing it until you move from a rookie to a veteran at it.
It doesn't matter if it's flipping burgers, playing professional football, approaching a man or woman, or interacting with others in a social environment. You have to learn how to do it and do it often to feel good about it.
But, if you learn what boosts your confidence and keep that feeling with you at all times that will also help you stay in a positive mood and radiate good vibes.
You'll be more eager to learn and to act.
You will be more comfortable.
You will improve your inner peace and peace of mind.
And, most of the time, you will feel good and enjoy the positive social situations that you find yourself in.
I'll update these notes later. I have to go out and find a hat and wig for a Halloween Costume Party.
I'll tell you about it when I update later!
- loveqna
Video provided by - merriman24
-----------------------------------
Here's a good tip that you can use to improve your confidence and reduce shyness...
First, look deep inside yourself and realize what your confidence boosters are.
For some people, it's money. For others, it's their skills. Knowledge is a confidence booster also. Some people are confident and proud because of status or their achievements.
What makes you confident around certain people or in certain situations?
What makes you forget your problems?
What makes you forget your fears?
What makes you forget feeling bashful?
When you discover what your confidence boosters are, you have to apply them to other aspects of your "game" in order to improve your confidence and overall swagger. Especially if you want to improve your Life and success at getting what you want, need, and deserve.
If you see a hot guy or girl standing over there (waiting in a line, or in their locker, or looking at foodstuff at the grocery store, or waiting in line at a fast-food restaurant) what are you gonna do if you don't have the confidence to say something???
You ain't gonna do jack-shit except let that opportunity pass you by.
That "prize" is gonna walk right out of your life... And, you might not ever see him or her again...
This might be a good week to start up a conversation with that co-worker you've been checking out. But, you won't know if it's a good week or not if you don't have the balls to flirt a little or make SOME kind of move.
So, find your confidence boosters and that will help reduce your shyness.
Now, everybody is Not confident all the time. I've seen some brave men and strong women get nervous and sweat in some situations. I've seen them ask other people for their opinion or advice about what they should do and what actions they should take to succeed in a situation. So, everybody isn't confident all the time.
And, that's not always a bad thing. You can miss out on a good thing sometimes but you can also learn from the experience. And, that's what Life is all about: Learning and Growing...
Anyway,
There are some situations where we will lack confidence.
There are some situations where we are over-confident.
There are some situations that we fear.
Shyness, of course, is a form of fear.
Daydreaming instead of "Doing" (or taking action) can ruin your confidence. Some people love to daydream and imagine things that they COULD get if they only TOOK action instead of sitting around thinking about what action to take.
It's all about "making moves" and being good at what you do. And, the more you do something the better you get at it and the more confident you feel about IT and yourself.
You have to learn it, work it, and keep doing it until you move from a rookie to a veteran at it.
It doesn't matter if it's flipping burgers, playing professional football, approaching a man or woman, or interacting with others in a social environment. You have to learn how to do it and do it often to feel good about it.
But, if you learn what boosts your confidence and keep that feeling with you at all times that will also help you stay in a positive mood and radiate good vibes.
You'll be more eager to learn and to act.
You will be more comfortable.
You will improve your inner peace and peace of mind.
And, most of the time, you will feel good and enjoy the positive social situations that you find yourself in.
I'll update these notes later. I have to go out and find a hat and wig for a Halloween Costume Party.
I'll tell you about it when I update later!
- loveqna
How To Be Social And Attract A Good Man Or Woman
Now, before you read any of this crap, let me tell you straight away that I'm not an expert on social skills OR conversation skills. So, if you really want to improve in this area and want your confidence level to go up a few notches, then make sure you get out there and learn from other sources.
Read.
Watch Videos.
Visit Other Websites.
Interact With More People.
If you're sick in the head like me and think too much or suffer from Depression or lack confidence in yourself (or your skills; or your appearance), or if you're too shy or think lowly of yourself, I can relate. And, I'm sure I can give you a few good tips. BUT! You still need to get your ass out there and use other ideas and techniques that I'm sure will help you.
Now, don't get out and overload your brain with research and studying. This will only slow down the process!
You HAVE to Practice!
And, this is the easiest skill in the world to practice because all you have to do is interact with people.
And, unless you're a social recluse (or an asshole who don't like people) and live in a cave or something and don't own a computer or a cellphone, you WILL have to interact with people. So, you have an opportunity to practice at least five or ten times a day.
And, these people don't have to know that you're practicing your skills on them. Just do it and have fun about it. In no time, you'll learn to love it.
At one point in my life, I used to be very outgoing. I had a best friend and several other good friends that I was close to. I drove around visiting friends and relatives all the time. I'd shop and party with a few of my homeboys almost every weekend. People would call me all the time. I was never without a girlfriend (or two). My bosses liked me. My co-workers liked me. My neighbors thought I was okay. I was a sociable dude. But, somehow, something about me changed...
Now, I feel out of place most of the time.
I'm not sure what to say or What I'm saying sometimes. And, I feel self-conscious about being misunderstood.
I worry too much about how I come across to people.
I over-analyze situations and subjects and ramble on and on.
I try not to interrupt people or disturb people and they think I'm being anti-social or ignoring them.
Many days, I don't feel "energized" enough to WANT to deal with the World. I'd rather be alone.
I worry about being boring......
I feel like a social misfit.
Do you ever feel like that???
I don't know how this happened. Some of my family members would tell you that I was a loner as a child. But, I still had quite a few friends. I played football with the neighborhood boys. I went swimming with friends. I always had friends and admirers in school. I went to school dances. I was sociable.I'm a sociable person.
But, sometimes, I just drift off into a place of my own.
It's terrible if you're in a relationship.
Hardly any of my relationships or friendships ended badly. I just sort of "drifted away".
That is the biggest complaint of most of my girlfriends. They'd always say something like: "You never spend enough time with me!"; "Where have you been??? I haven't talked to you for three days!"
I'd tell those chicks: "Shut the hell up and be glad that your goofy-ass is talking to me now."
There was no malice in it. I'd just say that in jest whenever they started yelling. But, none of those chicks understood me. It wasn't like I didn't care or like I was trying to be elusive or a stranger. I just drifted off. Some people are like that for some reason.
If you have that problem, I'm gonna tell you straight-up that improving your social skills is going to be a pain. You'll have to give up being self-absorbed and strictly focused on your own desires and interests. You'll have to find a balance between what you want and your relationships.
This is even a difficult task for most successful people and celebrities. That's why so many of them get cheated on or divorced. They neglect their mates, family, and old friends, because they're workaholics. It's hard for them to find balance between What they love and WHO they love.
so, if you want to avoid that situation or improve your social skills, you have to give up being a self-absorbed recluse. Your main focus has to making friends and building friendships. The rest of that stuff about making money and achieving your goals will fall into place - if you're good at what you do.
Now, in order for you to find your SoulMate or improve your confidence about approaching prospects, make sure you take heed to the suggestions I made earlier.
Read. Visit other websites about social confidence. Interact with people. Practice. Blah, blah, blah...
In this blog I'm gonna create a section for this topic.
And, we're gonna go "deep cover" about this because social confidence is not just about your conversation skills. It's also about how you view yourself and how you view other people and situations. It's about the vibes you radiate to other people. Using your instincts in your responses.
We're gonna analyze and practice all of that stuff.
(Listen to me: I sound like a professor.)
And, I'm 100% positive if you just try to have fun with this and enjoy yourself, you will step your game up and meet the girl or guy of your dreams who could be right under your very nose right now and waiting for you to make a move.
I'll post some notes and links later today so you'll be ready for action at the Halloween Party this weekend.
- loveqna
Thursday, October 27, 2011
NANCI GUERRERO JAPPENING CON JA CHILE
NANCI GUERRERO JAPPENING CON JA CHILE
Video provided by - NANCI GUERRERO OFICIAL
Video provided by - NANCI GUERRERO OFICIAL
loveqna.blogspot.com (back to top)
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NANCI GUERRERO CHILE
Video provided by - NANCI GUERRERO OFICIAL
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loveqna.blogspot.com (back to top)
You are welcome to share your opinion,
suggestion, or personal story on Love.QnA. Most articles, interviews,
videos, vlogs, stories, jokes, and documentaries can be found on various
dating sites and YouTube sites here on the Internet. I focus on toxic
relationships and relationship drama in order to turn the negatives of a
relationship into positives. My main goal is to help others find a
compatible partner/team player OR see the positives of being single and
enjoying the single life.
Short Men and Tall Women Relationships (video clips included)
Dwarf Man Weds Tall Girl
Video provided by - tubeshankar
It's surprising these days that you still hear so many guys discouraged about being short and not being able to find a good woman of quality.
Man, at work (and I'm full-time now) I see so many couples come in there where the woman is a few inches taller than the man that it's unbelievable!
I haven't seen any extreme differences but I have seen some guys waltz in there that stand no higher than their woman's chin. And, these ain't no "run-of-the-mill" babes that these bums are walking in there with. These are some fine-ass top-shelf A-Plus type of chicks!
Sunday, there was a guy in the store carrying a baby and when he and his wife came over to inquire about some merchandise we had on display, I know she stood at least a good two or three inches over his head. And, the chick looked like a model - long legs, long blonde hair, great body, cute face... And they had on their wedding bands, so I didn't check the man's woman out for too long.
Even at the Transit Center uptown I see quite a few short guys walking hand-in-hand with taller chicks.
And, speaking of uptown, when I'm cruising up and down those streets and seeing hundreds and hundreds of people, you know I'm bound to spot a few couples like that out of the crowd...
I don't think I've ever been amazed by this reality until now.
It had me so curious the other day, I thought I was missing out on some new trend or something and had to mention it to a friend who's opinion I got about men and women being too picky. I found out her baby-daddy is more than a few inches shorter than her. I said, "Damn!"
Was there any reason for this?
No. The guy is just cute and has a nice personality according to her.
At my last job, this little bastard had two hot (and I mean HOT) babes! He couldn't been no more than 4' 11" (152cm) if that. And they were both at least two inches taller than he was.
He was married to one and the other was one of the finest chicks working there! His wife had no ass but she had a face you could never get tired of looking at and a bosom you could melt right off to sleep in. Mmph!
And, his chick on the side was a little cutie-pie as well. If I hadn't been in a relationship with "Big Mouth", I sure as hell would've put my bid in on that little fox. Especially after he moved across the country.
Confidence: That's what it's all about.
Stop worrying about whether or not the girl or guy likes you or is going to like you or reject you. Relax. Have fun. Enjoy Life. "Life Is Good". Just strike up a conversation. If the conversation goes nowhere, so be it. If it does, so be it. Just enjoy the moment.
Let me ask you a question...
What do you think you bring to the table in a relationship? Are you a fun person to be around? Are you a deep thinker? Do you like to have a good time? Are you a good friend? Do you have interesting things to talk about? That's what most people are looking for. If you're honest, loyal, supportive, and dependable, that's the icing on the cake!
Consider your good qualities and show them when you're interacting with people. Don't put yourself down and worry about whether or not you'll be accepted or not. That's what destroys your confidence in the first place. And no one wants to be around someone who lacks confidence and who is afraid to have a good time.
I know a lot of you guys out there see these women on TV, and on the radio, and in these magazines talking about they don't like short guys and blah, blah, blah. The hell with that crap. Don't listen to those broads! Those media are only putting out what they want the world to see and what they want to influence people to believe.
Long-legged sexy women and shorty-studs are everywhere!
True, you're gonna be rejected by some women because of your height. Even these short "dwarf" women will reject you. Maybe some of those women have a "dwarf complex" themselves or want to impress their friends or "compete" with taller girls. Who knows why they might reject a guy who's more in line with their height... But, don't be discouraged by it. Keep on approaching those fine mamacitas no matter what size they are!
Don't turn your back those tall women either. Most of them definitely prefer taller men. Some of those tall women would prefer being shorter because many tall men are intimidated by them. These guys lose a bit of confidence and manliness because they really believe that their height is a major plus in life. And, a woman who's taller turns that plus into a minus and takes a notch out of their esteem. Those guys are trippin'! Only a few are brave enough to take on a whole lot of legs. Well, I can't say that for certain because now that I think about it, I DO see some tall guys in there with women just as tall as they are on a regular basis. But, still, there are some tall men out there who feel insecure when they run across a long-legged woman and they need to stop worrying about being shorter and hollah at those fine-ass Amazonian Babes.
Anyway...
It never hurts to start up a conversation. Whether the chick or guy is the same height - or taller or shorter, you have to make your move. You tall ladies can't stand around waiting either. You have to woman-up and quit being shy as well. Stop being so picky.
Why are you sweet sensuous babes so concerned about height anyway?
- Some women say it's because being with a taller guy makes them feel more like a woman
- Some say they prefer a taller guy because they like to be able to where high heel shoes and still look like a "normal" couple
- Some women look to a taller guy for "safety" reasons
- Some women prefer a taller guy because they want their children to be tall
- Some women like taller guys because their friends like taller guys
- Some say that taller guys look more manly and that's why they prefer them
We all have romantic preferences though.
Some chicks don't date guys who are more than several inches taller because they feel it looks awkward and that kissing guys who are too tall is awkward.
Some guys don't date women who are short because of similar reasons. Or, because the woman looks like a child standing next to them.
What's wrong with everybody? If you're compatible with the person on deeper levels, or even on a friendly level, at least have a conversation with that person to see what he or she may have to offer. Don't sit and wait and wait and wait on a man or woman who is "perfect", then hook-up with that person only to end up in a relationship full of drama!
The World is a screwy place about size and height but it's like that for a reason and all we can do is accept it and deal with whatever is thrown our way in the game of Love.
But, I don't think this has anything to do with "sexual selection". At least not all the time. I believe many people have a "god complex" where they're amazed by (and praise) things that are big or that seem a lot more powerful than they are. Or, they have a "dwarf complex" where they have to prove that they're just as capable or can compete at least with average size or taller people.
Get over it. Just be You. Don't worry about all of this size nonsense. What can't you do now that you would be able to if you were taller or shorter?
You know my philosophy: If you're attracted to the guy or girl, go for it. Get to know the one you're interested in because you never know how great things could work out.
- loveqna
World's Tallest Married Couple
Video provided by - MOXNEWSd0tCOM
Video provided by - tubeshankar
It's surprising these days that you still hear so many guys discouraged about being short and not being able to find a good woman of quality.
Man, at work (and I'm full-time now) I see so many couples come in there where the woman is a few inches taller than the man that it's unbelievable!
I haven't seen any extreme differences but I have seen some guys waltz in there that stand no higher than their woman's chin. And, these ain't no "run-of-the-mill" babes that these bums are walking in there with. These are some fine-ass top-shelf A-Plus type of chicks!
Sunday, there was a guy in the store carrying a baby and when he and his wife came over to inquire about some merchandise we had on display, I know she stood at least a good two or three inches over his head. And, the chick looked like a model - long legs, long blonde hair, great body, cute face... And they had on their wedding bands, so I didn't check the man's woman out for too long.
Even at the Transit Center uptown I see quite a few short guys walking hand-in-hand with taller chicks.
And, speaking of uptown, when I'm cruising up and down those streets and seeing hundreds and hundreds of people, you know I'm bound to spot a few couples like that out of the crowd...
I don't think I've ever been amazed by this reality until now.
It had me so curious the other day, I thought I was missing out on some new trend or something and had to mention it to a friend who's opinion I got about men and women being too picky. I found out her baby-daddy is more than a few inches shorter than her. I said, "Damn!"
Was there any reason for this?
No. The guy is just cute and has a nice personality according to her.
At my last job, this little bastard had two hot (and I mean HOT) babes! He couldn't been no more than 4' 11" (152cm) if that. And they were both at least two inches taller than he was.
He was married to one and the other was one of the finest chicks working there! His wife had no ass but she had a face you could never get tired of looking at and a bosom you could melt right off to sleep in. Mmph!
And, his chick on the side was a little cutie-pie as well. If I hadn't been in a relationship with "Big Mouth", I sure as hell would've put my bid in on that little fox. Especially after he moved across the country.
Confidence: That's what it's all about.
Stop worrying about whether or not the girl or guy likes you or is going to like you or reject you. Relax. Have fun. Enjoy Life. "Life Is Good". Just strike up a conversation. If the conversation goes nowhere, so be it. If it does, so be it. Just enjoy the moment.
Let me ask you a question...
What do you think you bring to the table in a relationship? Are you a fun person to be around? Are you a deep thinker? Do you like to have a good time? Are you a good friend? Do you have interesting things to talk about? That's what most people are looking for. If you're honest, loyal, supportive, and dependable, that's the icing on the cake!
Consider your good qualities and show them when you're interacting with people. Don't put yourself down and worry about whether or not you'll be accepted or not. That's what destroys your confidence in the first place. And no one wants to be around someone who lacks confidence and who is afraid to have a good time.
I know a lot of you guys out there see these women on TV, and on the radio, and in these magazines talking about they don't like short guys and blah, blah, blah. The hell with that crap. Don't listen to those broads! Those media are only putting out what they want the world to see and what they want to influence people to believe.
Long-legged sexy women and shorty-studs are everywhere!
True, you're gonna be rejected by some women because of your height. Even these short "dwarf" women will reject you. Maybe some of those women have a "dwarf complex" themselves or want to impress their friends or "compete" with taller girls. Who knows why they might reject a guy who's more in line with their height... But, don't be discouraged by it. Keep on approaching those fine mamacitas no matter what size they are!
Don't turn your back those tall women either. Most of them definitely prefer taller men. Some of those tall women would prefer being shorter because many tall men are intimidated by them. These guys lose a bit of confidence and manliness because they really believe that their height is a major plus in life. And, a woman who's taller turns that plus into a minus and takes a notch out of their esteem. Those guys are trippin'! Only a few are brave enough to take on a whole lot of legs. Well, I can't say that for certain because now that I think about it, I DO see some tall guys in there with women just as tall as they are on a regular basis. But, still, there are some tall men out there who feel insecure when they run across a long-legged woman and they need to stop worrying about being shorter and hollah at those fine-ass Amazonian Babes.
Anyway...
It never hurts to start up a conversation. Whether the chick or guy is the same height - or taller or shorter, you have to make your move. You tall ladies can't stand around waiting either. You have to woman-up and quit being shy as well. Stop being so picky.
Why are you sweet sensuous babes so concerned about height anyway?
- Some women say it's because being with a taller guy makes them feel more like a woman
- Some say they prefer a taller guy because they like to be able to where high heel shoes and still look like a "normal" couple
- Some women look to a taller guy for "safety" reasons
- Some women prefer a taller guy because they want their children to be tall
- Some women like taller guys because their friends like taller guys
- Some say that taller guys look more manly and that's why they prefer them
We all have romantic preferences though.
Some chicks don't date guys who are more than several inches taller because they feel it looks awkward and that kissing guys who are too tall is awkward.
Some guys don't date women who are short because of similar reasons. Or, because the woman looks like a child standing next to them.
What's wrong with everybody? If you're compatible with the person on deeper levels, or even on a friendly level, at least have a conversation with that person to see what he or she may have to offer. Don't sit and wait and wait and wait on a man or woman who is "perfect", then hook-up with that person only to end up in a relationship full of drama!
The World is a screwy place about size and height but it's like that for a reason and all we can do is accept it and deal with whatever is thrown our way in the game of Love.
But, I don't think this has anything to do with "sexual selection". At least not all the time. I believe many people have a "god complex" where they're amazed by (and praise) things that are big or that seem a lot more powerful than they are. Or, they have a "dwarf complex" where they have to prove that they're just as capable or can compete at least with average size or taller people.
Get over it. Just be You. Don't worry about all of this size nonsense. What can't you do now that you would be able to if you were taller or shorter?
You know my philosophy: If you're attracted to the guy or girl, go for it. Get to know the one you're interested in because you never know how great things could work out.
- loveqna
World's Tallest Married Couple
Video provided by - MOXNEWSd0tCOM
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Is Being Too Picky (Selective) Ruining Her Love Life?
Miss Ruby Tuesday- **COUGAR DATE**... SWF SEEKS SWM
Video provided by - akamissrubytuesday
I'm sure you might have some good opinions or philosophy about this so let me ask you something...
Do you think a person can be Too picky (or selective) when it comes to choosing a mate???
What I mean by that is: Can a person have too many demands, criteria, or expectations when it comes to finding someone compatible?
Could he or she be too headstrong or narrow-minded about his or her criteria - even if it's only ONE THING he or she is picky about (like: money or height)?
There's no doubt that by being too selective a man or woman limits his or her "options". But, doesn't this kind of thinking also warp his or her sense of reality?
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone should "settle" when it comes to Love... But, when a man or woman acts "stuck-up" and overly proud because he or she thinks "Perfection" is the only thing worthy of his or her time, then you must admit, they probably have a few screws loose.
Or... they could have OCPD -Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder
It's possible.
Every now and then you'll run across an asshole who wants to make him or herself look good or superior by trying to embarrass you or humiliate you in public or at a club or something. Don't think twice about it. Move on to something better. Someone who has more class.
What really gets my goose are those people who look like they've been beat up and down the road from here to "kingdom come" with an ugly stick and they've got the nerve to look down on you like you're trash or unworthy of them. Disgusting. But again, keep it moving. And, don't lower your standards next time. lol. It's all a matter of timing, but you should be a little more selective next time.
If you ever go on these dating websites like "eHarmony" and "Match.com", they require their customers to be really selective when looking for love. You have to state all of your preferences, wants, interests, fixations, and every thing else if you really want their help in finding true love.
And, even their systems aren't perfect.
I understand it. And, I'm not saying it's totally wrong be selective, but sometimes people can be too picky and miss out on a good thing. The main thing is to date and get to know the person you're interested in.
I got into a big argument with a couple of my cousins a few years ago while we were driving from a party.
It all started when my cousin "Lisa" mentioned that a friend of ours, "Dominique", was single and looking for a new boyfriend, but had a hard time of finding one because she was too selective.
Dominque wasn't a "Ten" beauty-wise - maybe a "five" or a "six". But, she wanted a guy who was "perfect". Now, although she wasn't a beauty-queen, her overall style, "features", and personality, made her an easy "eight and a half" or "nine". I can't lie: overall, she was above average and sexy as hell - very desirable. Hell, I chased that girl for almost a year trying to get my hands on that phat booty.
Anyway... The chick was sweet and didn't mind going on dates with average guys or "regular Joes" or whoever. If you had a nice personality and was fun and respectable, she'd give you a shot. BUT!
She was not interested in a relationship with you unless you were...
Tall
Suave
Above average in looks
Muscular or "well-built"
Had "good hair"
Had a good job
Had money
Had no kids
Had your own car and "crib" (house or apartment)
Never been married...
blah dahdah-dah dahdah-dah
That chick was insane with her list of demands and criteria for a mate. But, I understood because I also have certain qualities I look for in a mate. We all do. And, when I said I understood her thinking, those rat-bastards pounced on me like I was responsible for wrecking the economy!
They didn't let me finish my thought.
"WHAT??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN UNDERSTAND HOW SHE FEELS???"; "YOU SHOULD LOOK AT PERSONALITY FIRST!!!"; "THAT'S PETTY THINKING!!!"; "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING???"; "ARE YOU SAYING SHE'S RIGHT???"
...blah, blah, blah...
After those first few words had come out of their big mouths, I had flipped out and was babbling in tongues so I hardly understood what they were saying or what I was saying. I was damn near "seeing red". I was mad as hell.
PLUS, I WAS DRIVING!
Now, you know those fools were crazy - upsetting the driver! And, we're rolling down I-85 highway going more than 80 mph! ???
Anyway...
So, I mention that I don't have a lot of major preferences but the first thing I look at when I see a woman is her legs. I can't help it. I love pretty legs.
After I take notice of that, then I look at other features.
Then, this fool in the backseat (my other cousin), "Hank", says: "Oh, that's some petty shit. What if she gets in an accident and loses her legs?"
Trust me folks... It's hard as hell to school a jackass on the ways of human nature and drive the fast lane at the same time.
Then, this dumbass said: "It's different if I met a girl that smoked cigarettes. If she smoked, I could talk her into quitting cigarettes, but you can't change a girl's legs!"
Okay, I can't change a woman's legs... But,
How in the hell is he gonna talk somebody into quitting smoking???
If he meets a girl that smokes cigarettes she's going to quit smoking when she's good and damn ready. Not when HE tells her it's time to quit.
What the hell is he a damn witch doctor or something???
Hell, if he has that much power, why don't make everybody in the world quit and and reduce cancer or air pollution? Why don't his broke ass become a multi-billionaire or something? He could take those "cigarette patches" and "electric cigarettes" right out of business, couldn't he?
That jackass.
That dumbass knows he has preferences just like everybody else.
We all have wants, needs, turn-offs, and turn-ons, and fetishes, that we look for in a potential mate.
Some people just have a little more than others. Some have a lot more.
I wasn't saying that Dominique was right for being as selective as she was. Hell, if she wasn't so selective, maybe I could've gotten a date.
Honestly, I believe many people ruin their chances of finding True Love when they're too picky. Being so picky leads to being closed-minded. You don't leave any options open or have "wiggle room" for guys or girls who don't have ALL that you want but who may have EXACTLY what you need to be happy. And, these prospects can turn out to be better than what you expected. That's what I believe.
Look at all these girls who get abused, misused, and cheated on by their boyfriends... They're not looking at what's deep in the guy's heart or character. They're looking for someone who's tall, handsome, and fun to spend time with. It's not until later in life do they realize how bad their decision-making process about relationships were.
And, many of these guys out here are closed-minded as hell too. How many times have some of us men mentioned how we "let a good one slip away"? I know I've said it!
Chasing that damn eye-candy!
Almost 99% of the guys out here are always gonna look at a pretty face or a phat ass before they look at a woman's intelligence and character. And that's how we end up with these grouchy-ass nagging scalawags. We're too selective about the booty and beauty and not open-minded enough to see all the other things the woman has to offer. We're too picky for the wrong reasons.
And these poor pitiful high-class successful women... These poor babes want a man who's "on their level" so bad that they'd rather wait and wait and wait until they're wrinkly and close to their "expiration date" before they decide to settle down with the same type of man they could've chosen years ago.
All of those beautiful moonlit nights of cuddling gone down the drain...
I know this all too well.
I know I'm missing out on a lot of good times.
I'm picky as hell since my last break-up.
I ain't NEVER goin' back to that kind of life ever again!
I'd rather be single and date for while than to rush into anything. But, I'm not going to let an opportunity pass me by! 'm not gonna be closed-minded. I'm keeping my options open. And, you can do that without committing yourself to a relationship. Just go on dates. It'll help anyone make better decisions about choosing a mate.
And if a good prospect comes along, I'm gonna "put my bid in" and get something serious going.
The one good thing about dating a lot is: You learn a lot about yourself and how you "click" with other personalities and deal with romantic relationships. You really understand what you like, what you don't like, what you need in a relationship, what habits you are able to deal with, the things about you that annoy people, what you should or shouldn't do to please your lover (sexually and socially)... your relationship goals, etc, etc.
From this experience, I know what I like, but I also know what I'm willing to accept and what I can handle.
So, platonic dating helps you get to know more about people, relationships, and yourself.
But, you gotta dig deep! You gotta get to know the person inside and out.
Unfortunately, everybody out there ain't gonna dig deep.
There are a lot of people out there who only date people who are a certain race, height, body type, status, caste, religion, or whatever, and that should be fine. It's their choice. There's no need for them to apologize for that or any reason for anyone to be upset about it.
Let them do what they do and you "keep doing you".
If you're a good man or woman and you've been passed over or rejected because of someone being picky or too selective, don't think twice about it. There are plenty of fish in the sea. There are more than enough beautiful women and handsome hunks to go around. You've just got to be willing to go out there and put yourself out there to get one ovem.
Don't limit yourself because some overly proud person has placed limitations on his or herself. Just because he or she has said "no" to you doesn't mean that you should stop from flirting and being in hot pursuit of someone classy and cute! Keep flirting and making moves... Stylin' and profilin'... Mix and mingle and get to know people so that you will have opportunities to date more and go out more.
Now, I already told you I love legs. But, has every girl I've ever dated had beautiful legs??? No. Has every chick been a beauty queen? No. Has every chick had a nice plump curvacious butt? Well... yeah.... No, I'm just kidding. No, they haven't. So, I have kept my options open. I'm willing to get to know anyone because you never know what the situation may lead to.
Now, there are things that are hard to ignore like "fetishes", "obsessions", "affections", and "addictions". Most of the time we can't fight what we really want. Therefore, don't settle. If you like tall men or tall women, date them. If you like thugs or gangster chicks, date them. If you have to have a man with money or a sugar mama, date them. But, keep your options open just in case something better is out there for you.
I've heard quite a few people say that they fell in love with someone who wasn't their type. I've had it happen to me on a couple of occasions when I wasn't the type of guy the chick would normally date. And leaving some of those relationships caused me to be stalked, my clothes withheld, my car stabbed up, threatening letters, "discussions" with the girl's father or brothers, and two or more attempts to buy my love. I wasn't their type of guy but I was the type of guy they didn't want to be without (at the time). But, that just goes to show, you never know who these "perfectionists" might fall for...
A few years back, me and a few of my cousins drove to Buffalo, New York to move one of my female cousins to Charlotte. When we got there they surprised us by telling us that two of her friends were coming along and they had another truck they wanted us to load and drive. Of course, we knew we had been suckered but we loaded those broads up and headed on back. This chick named "Grace" who had the extra truck got my cousin "Frankie" to drive for her. It was a long long drive in those slow ass moving box trucks. A turtle could've outrun us walking backwards.
Anyway...
When we got back, "Frankie" complained that the girl stunk and smelled like fish the whole way driving back. He talked about how cheap her weave looked and how she had bumps all over chest. Every fault he could find in the girl, he mentioned to us afterwards. He would never date such a "chicken-headed" broad as that.
A few months later, he was at church and spit on the girl.
I said, "What in the hell??? He doesn't even go to church!"
Well, it turned out that the girl called him over to help move or fix something around the house one day. They talked. They had a few drinks. One thing led to another and Wham!
He was attending HER "services" on a regular basis.
They were seeing each other for months when she broke the news to him that she was hooking back up with her ex-boyfriend from Buffalo and that he was moving to Charlotte and moving in with her.
I think it broke his heart.
But, he wasn't even interested in the girl at first. He talked trash about the girl. And, now, all of a sudden, he was in love with her.
He went on and on about that relationship and incident for over a year.
And, there are a lot of people out there just like him (and "Dominique") - "perfectionists" and critics of other people. A lot of them are closed-minded and living in a fantasy world where they have to have the perfect person - their "dream man" or "dream woman". They want a man or woman without flaws. But, those perfectionists and critics aren't flawless. They have mental, physical, and social issues that make them unacceptable to the perfection that they seek. And, that's why they get cheated on, dumped abused, and neglected later on in their relationship. They can't live up to the dream.
Well, let me finish here. I'm getting long-winded as usual. I may have to create a shorter part two.
Anyway...
The bottom line is: If you're going to be picky, at least keep your options open and mix and mingle as much as you can and most important - get to know the person well before you commit yourself or reject them for something you think might be better.
- loveqna
------------------------ MORE NOTES
you might be picky but the person you pick might be picky as well. use your instincts to see ahead to make sure you're both ready for something serious. best to be friends and get to know each other on deeper levels first anyway.
am i saying that you shouldn't judge people or have a critical eye? am i saying that you shouldn't be selective or picky about choosing a mate? no. you must use your instincts, to find someone who is compatible and who supportive, loving, and wants to advance in life. you want the relationship to grow.
we all judge people. even when we don't try to judge people as bad or odd or trashy or vulgar, we still judge them as honest, good, sweet, nice, etc.
in either case, our judgement could be wrong.
lack of using instincts could lead to bad judgment and making a bad decision.
the type of person they want now may not be the type of person they want later.
sometimes, unexpected feelings crop-up when you get to know people.
make sure you know a person's true value and what they're all about. what do they really have to offer besides a phat ass and a cute smile or money and height? what emotional, mental, social, and moral benefits do they have to offer?
how much are they really interested in you? how much do they really want to get to know you and see you happy and enjoying life?
some people are blinded by lust, infatuation, and fetishes.
We all have preferences. some people have "fixations" (height, hair color, etc). these things aren't fetishes but the person is focused only on that thing whether it's a benefit to them or not. to them, it's a good thing.
reptilian thinking - fixation on something they think is better. comparing the thing to other things. relating it to most all things.
how can you REALLY make each others' lives better? how can you really make each other happier? can you really satisfy each other.
qualities change for people as they get older and wiser and as their needs change.
Do you believe that loneliness is the destiny and fate of some?
be open minded - don't limit yourself if you're looking for happiness
people are very picky even before they get to know the person they're judging
it's their loss or is it both of their loss?
a good man or woman is cast aside before he or she even has a chance
is the dreamer/critic too...
proud
critical
narcissistic
think he or she is too good
quick to jump to conclusions
poor in judgment
quick to read people - bad judge
much of a dreamer or perfectionist
blinded by ignorance or foolish beliefs or foolish ideas
stuck in his or her ways
extreme in his or her ideas
closed-minded
brainwashed by society or media
influenced by others - friends, family, co-workers
don't give up your...
values
aspirations and goals
self-respect
personality - don't lose yourself due the other person's demands/preferences
interests
What is the primary thing or quality you look for? Or, look at? What is most important to you when you choose a mate?
- Personality?
- Beauty?
- Social Status?
- Spirituality?
- Caste?
- Sex Appeal?
- Finances and Employment?
What is the most important quality (or qualities) the prospect have to have in order for you to give him or her a chance at dating you and getting to know you better?
A lot of people don't think there's anything wrong with being "too selective".
But, don't you think a person who's too selective or picky can miss out on a good thing - or possibly even True Love?
Video provided by - akamissrubytuesday
I'm sure you might have some good opinions or philosophy about this so let me ask you something...
Do you think a person can be Too picky (or selective) when it comes to choosing a mate???
What I mean by that is: Can a person have too many demands, criteria, or expectations when it comes to finding someone compatible?
Could he or she be too headstrong or narrow-minded about his or her criteria - even if it's only ONE THING he or she is picky about (like: money or height)?
There's no doubt that by being too selective a man or woman limits his or her "options". But, doesn't this kind of thinking also warp his or her sense of reality?
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone should "settle" when it comes to Love... But, when a man or woman acts "stuck-up" and overly proud because he or she thinks "Perfection" is the only thing worthy of his or her time, then you must admit, they probably have a few screws loose.
Or... they could have OCPD -Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder
It's possible.
Every now and then you'll run across an asshole who wants to make him or herself look good or superior by trying to embarrass you or humiliate you in public or at a club or something. Don't think twice about it. Move on to something better. Someone who has more class.
What really gets my goose are those people who look like they've been beat up and down the road from here to "kingdom come" with an ugly stick and they've got the nerve to look down on you like you're trash or unworthy of them. Disgusting. But again, keep it moving. And, don't lower your standards next time. lol. It's all a matter of timing, but you should be a little more selective next time.
If you ever go on these dating websites like "eHarmony" and "Match.com", they require their customers to be really selective when looking for love. You have to state all of your preferences, wants, interests, fixations, and every thing else if you really want their help in finding true love.
And, even their systems aren't perfect.
I understand it. And, I'm not saying it's totally wrong be selective, but sometimes people can be too picky and miss out on a good thing. The main thing is to date and get to know the person you're interested in.
I got into a big argument with a couple of my cousins a few years ago while we were driving from a party.
It all started when my cousin "Lisa" mentioned that a friend of ours, "Dominique", was single and looking for a new boyfriend, but had a hard time of finding one because she was too selective.
Dominque wasn't a "Ten" beauty-wise - maybe a "five" or a "six". But, she wanted a guy who was "perfect". Now, although she wasn't a beauty-queen, her overall style, "features", and personality, made her an easy "eight and a half" or "nine". I can't lie: overall, she was above average and sexy as hell - very desirable. Hell, I chased that girl for almost a year trying to get my hands on that phat booty.
Anyway... The chick was sweet and didn't mind going on dates with average guys or "regular Joes" or whoever. If you had a nice personality and was fun and respectable, she'd give you a shot. BUT!
She was not interested in a relationship with you unless you were...
Tall
Suave
Above average in looks
Muscular or "well-built"
Had "good hair"
Had a good job
Had money
Had no kids
Had your own car and "crib" (house or apartment)
Never been married...
blah dahdah-dah dahdah-dah
That chick was insane with her list of demands and criteria for a mate. But, I understood because I also have certain qualities I look for in a mate. We all do. And, when I said I understood her thinking, those rat-bastards pounced on me like I was responsible for wrecking the economy!
They didn't let me finish my thought.
"WHAT??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN UNDERSTAND HOW SHE FEELS???"; "YOU SHOULD LOOK AT PERSONALITY FIRST!!!"; "THAT'S PETTY THINKING!!!"; "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING???"; "ARE YOU SAYING SHE'S RIGHT???"
...blah, blah, blah...
After those first few words had come out of their big mouths, I had flipped out and was babbling in tongues so I hardly understood what they were saying or what I was saying. I was damn near "seeing red". I was mad as hell.
PLUS, I WAS DRIVING!
Now, you know those fools were crazy - upsetting the driver! And, we're rolling down I-85 highway going more than 80 mph! ???
Anyway...
So, I mention that I don't have a lot of major preferences but the first thing I look at when I see a woman is her legs. I can't help it. I love pretty legs.
After I take notice of that, then I look at other features.
Then, this fool in the backseat (my other cousin), "Hank", says: "Oh, that's some petty shit. What if she gets in an accident and loses her legs?"
Trust me folks... It's hard as hell to school a jackass on the ways of human nature and drive the fast lane at the same time.
Then, this dumbass said: "It's different if I met a girl that smoked cigarettes. If she smoked, I could talk her into quitting cigarettes, but you can't change a girl's legs!"
Okay, I can't change a woman's legs... But,
How in the hell is he gonna talk somebody into quitting smoking???
If he meets a girl that smokes cigarettes she's going to quit smoking when she's good and damn ready. Not when HE tells her it's time to quit.
What the hell is he a damn witch doctor or something???
Hell, if he has that much power, why don't make everybody in the world quit and and reduce cancer or air pollution? Why don't his broke ass become a multi-billionaire or something? He could take those "cigarette patches" and "electric cigarettes" right out of business, couldn't he?
That jackass.
That dumbass knows he has preferences just like everybody else.
We all have wants, needs, turn-offs, and turn-ons, and fetishes, that we look for in a potential mate.
Some people just have a little more than others. Some have a lot more.
I wasn't saying that Dominique was right for being as selective as she was. Hell, if she wasn't so selective, maybe I could've gotten a date.
Honestly, I believe many people ruin their chances of finding True Love when they're too picky. Being so picky leads to being closed-minded. You don't leave any options open or have "wiggle room" for guys or girls who don't have ALL that you want but who may have EXACTLY what you need to be happy. And, these prospects can turn out to be better than what you expected. That's what I believe.
Look at all these girls who get abused, misused, and cheated on by their boyfriends... They're not looking at what's deep in the guy's heart or character. They're looking for someone who's tall, handsome, and fun to spend time with. It's not until later in life do they realize how bad their decision-making process about relationships were.
And, many of these guys out here are closed-minded as hell too. How many times have some of us men mentioned how we "let a good one slip away"? I know I've said it!
Chasing that damn eye-candy!
Almost 99% of the guys out here are always gonna look at a pretty face or a phat ass before they look at a woman's intelligence and character. And that's how we end up with these grouchy-ass nagging scalawags. We're too selective about the booty and beauty and not open-minded enough to see all the other things the woman has to offer. We're too picky for the wrong reasons.
And these poor pitiful high-class successful women... These poor babes want a man who's "on their level" so bad that they'd rather wait and wait and wait until they're wrinkly and close to their "expiration date" before they decide to settle down with the same type of man they could've chosen years ago.
All of those beautiful moonlit nights of cuddling gone down the drain...
I know this all too well.
I know I'm missing out on a lot of good times.
I'm picky as hell since my last break-up.
I ain't NEVER goin' back to that kind of life ever again!
I'd rather be single and date for while than to rush into anything. But, I'm not going to let an opportunity pass me by! 'm not gonna be closed-minded. I'm keeping my options open. And, you can do that without committing yourself to a relationship. Just go on dates. It'll help anyone make better decisions about choosing a mate.
And if a good prospect comes along, I'm gonna "put my bid in" and get something serious going.
The one good thing about dating a lot is: You learn a lot about yourself and how you "click" with other personalities and deal with romantic relationships. You really understand what you like, what you don't like, what you need in a relationship, what habits you are able to deal with, the things about you that annoy people, what you should or shouldn't do to please your lover (sexually and socially)... your relationship goals, etc, etc.
From this experience, I know what I like, but I also know what I'm willing to accept and what I can handle.
So, platonic dating helps you get to know more about people, relationships, and yourself.
But, you gotta dig deep! You gotta get to know the person inside and out.
Unfortunately, everybody out there ain't gonna dig deep.
There are a lot of people out there who only date people who are a certain race, height, body type, status, caste, religion, or whatever, and that should be fine. It's their choice. There's no need for them to apologize for that or any reason for anyone to be upset about it.
Let them do what they do and you "keep doing you".
If you're a good man or woman and you've been passed over or rejected because of someone being picky or too selective, don't think twice about it. There are plenty of fish in the sea. There are more than enough beautiful women and handsome hunks to go around. You've just got to be willing to go out there and put yourself out there to get one ovem.
Don't limit yourself because some overly proud person has placed limitations on his or herself. Just because he or she has said "no" to you doesn't mean that you should stop from flirting and being in hot pursuit of someone classy and cute! Keep flirting and making moves... Stylin' and profilin'... Mix and mingle and get to know people so that you will have opportunities to date more and go out more.
Now, I already told you I love legs. But, has every girl I've ever dated had beautiful legs??? No. Has every chick been a beauty queen? No. Has every chick had a nice plump curvacious butt? Well... yeah.... No, I'm just kidding. No, they haven't. So, I have kept my options open. I'm willing to get to know anyone because you never know what the situation may lead to.
Now, there are things that are hard to ignore like "fetishes", "obsessions", "affections", and "addictions". Most of the time we can't fight what we really want. Therefore, don't settle. If you like tall men or tall women, date them. If you like thugs or gangster chicks, date them. If you have to have a man with money or a sugar mama, date them. But, keep your options open just in case something better is out there for you.
I've heard quite a few people say that they fell in love with someone who wasn't their type. I've had it happen to me on a couple of occasions when I wasn't the type of guy the chick would normally date. And leaving some of those relationships caused me to be stalked, my clothes withheld, my car stabbed up, threatening letters, "discussions" with the girl's father or brothers, and two or more attempts to buy my love. I wasn't their type of guy but I was the type of guy they didn't want to be without (at the time). But, that just goes to show, you never know who these "perfectionists" might fall for...
A few years back, me and a few of my cousins drove to Buffalo, New York to move one of my female cousins to Charlotte. When we got there they surprised us by telling us that two of her friends were coming along and they had another truck they wanted us to load and drive. Of course, we knew we had been suckered but we loaded those broads up and headed on back. This chick named "Grace" who had the extra truck got my cousin "Frankie" to drive for her. It was a long long drive in those slow ass moving box trucks. A turtle could've outrun us walking backwards.
Anyway...
When we got back, "Frankie" complained that the girl stunk and smelled like fish the whole way driving back. He talked about how cheap her weave looked and how she had bumps all over chest. Every fault he could find in the girl, he mentioned to us afterwards. He would never date such a "chicken-headed" broad as that.
A few months later, he was at church and spit on the girl.
I said, "What in the hell??? He doesn't even go to church!"
Well, it turned out that the girl called him over to help move or fix something around the house one day. They talked. They had a few drinks. One thing led to another and Wham!
He was attending HER "services" on a regular basis.
They were seeing each other for months when she broke the news to him that she was hooking back up with her ex-boyfriend from Buffalo and that he was moving to Charlotte and moving in with her.
I think it broke his heart.
But, he wasn't even interested in the girl at first. He talked trash about the girl. And, now, all of a sudden, he was in love with her.
He went on and on about that relationship and incident for over a year.
And, there are a lot of people out there just like him (and "Dominique") - "perfectionists" and critics of other people. A lot of them are closed-minded and living in a fantasy world where they have to have the perfect person - their "dream man" or "dream woman". They want a man or woman without flaws. But, those perfectionists and critics aren't flawless. They have mental, physical, and social issues that make them unacceptable to the perfection that they seek. And, that's why they get cheated on, dumped abused, and neglected later on in their relationship. They can't live up to the dream.
Well, let me finish here. I'm getting long-winded as usual. I may have to create a shorter part two.
Anyway...
The bottom line is: If you're going to be picky, at least keep your options open and mix and mingle as much as you can and most important - get to know the person well before you commit yourself or reject them for something you think might be better.
- loveqna
------------------------ MORE NOTES
you might be picky but the person you pick might be picky as well. use your instincts to see ahead to make sure you're both ready for something serious. best to be friends and get to know each other on deeper levels first anyway.
am i saying that you shouldn't judge people or have a critical eye? am i saying that you shouldn't be selective or picky about choosing a mate? no. you must use your instincts, to find someone who is compatible and who supportive, loving, and wants to advance in life. you want the relationship to grow.
we all judge people. even when we don't try to judge people as bad or odd or trashy or vulgar, we still judge them as honest, good, sweet, nice, etc.
in either case, our judgement could be wrong.
lack of using instincts could lead to bad judgment and making a bad decision.
the type of person they want now may not be the type of person they want later.
sometimes, unexpected feelings crop-up when you get to know people.
make sure you know a person's true value and what they're all about. what do they really have to offer besides a phat ass and a cute smile or money and height? what emotional, mental, social, and moral benefits do they have to offer?
how much are they really interested in you? how much do they really want to get to know you and see you happy and enjoying life?
some people are blinded by lust, infatuation, and fetishes.
We all have preferences. some people have "fixations" (height, hair color, etc). these things aren't fetishes but the person is focused only on that thing whether it's a benefit to them or not. to them, it's a good thing.
reptilian thinking - fixation on something they think is better. comparing the thing to other things. relating it to most all things.
how can you REALLY make each others' lives better? how can you really make each other happier? can you really satisfy each other.
qualities change for people as they get older and wiser and as their needs change.
Do you believe that loneliness is the destiny and fate of some?
be open minded - don't limit yourself if you're looking for happiness
people are very picky even before they get to know the person they're judging
it's their loss or is it both of their loss?
a good man or woman is cast aside before he or she even has a chance
is the dreamer/critic too...
proud
critical
narcissistic
think he or she is too good
quick to jump to conclusions
poor in judgment
quick to read people - bad judge
much of a dreamer or perfectionist
blinded by ignorance or foolish beliefs or foolish ideas
stuck in his or her ways
extreme in his or her ideas
closed-minded
brainwashed by society or media
influenced by others - friends, family, co-workers
don't give up your...
values
aspirations and goals
self-respect
personality - don't lose yourself due the other person's demands/preferences
interests
What is the primary thing or quality you look for? Or, look at? What is most important to you when you choose a mate?
- Personality?
- Beauty?
- Social Status?
- Spirituality?
- Caste?
- Sex Appeal?
- Finances and Employment?
What is the most important quality (or qualities) the prospect have to have in order for you to give him or her a chance at dating you and getting to know you better?
A lot of people don't think there's anything wrong with being "too selective".
But, don't you think a person who's too selective or picky can miss out on a good thing - or possibly even True Love?
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