just be cool (notes)

(notes)
** just jotting down some thoughts for a possible post on confidence and conversation.

If you still feel uneasy about socializing and talking to people, just remember to be cool...

Cool, Calm, and Collected.

There's no need to over-think the situation.

Ask questions and offer input relevant to the subject or situation.

If you hate standing around with your hand in your pocket, offer to help.

Whatever you do, enjoy the moment. Mix, Mingle, and just be cool...

The great thing about being cool, calm, and collected, is that it's like you're in an active meditative state like being in The Zone. You're fully awake and your brain is "clicking on all cylinders". Your thoughts are precise. Your actions are precise. And everything you do is done with ease.

This is the way you want to live your life when you're out engaging in social events and meeting new romantic prospects.

Being cool and calm doesn't mean you can't laugh, joke, and have a good time, but you don't want to get too "crunk" (hyper) for too long and make a spectacle of yourself - Or, miss out on a good opportunity.

Have some dignity about your self.

You want that cutie-pie to admire you for your confidence, style, class, and your ability to have fun. But, you also want to show that you're "balanced" and level-headed.

Have you ever seen how some people can't go out and have a good time because they're worried, pessimistic, and/or doubtful they'll have a good time. They ain't thinking right. Those people aren't cool and calm. There are dark clouds swarming around all in their skulls and they can't be cool and relaxed and let their hair down to enjoy life and precious moments.

You can  be cool and have a good time.

When you are cool and calm, you are more focused and aware and can offer good responses and input. If you're talking to a romantic prospect, this can mean more intimate levels of mental interaction (deeper intellectual conversations). If you're in negotiations and doing business (and know what you're  doing) then being cool and calm can help you attain more win-win situations - or come out on top (whichever you prefer).


being cool, calm, and collected will help you see things and evaluate decisions (before you make them) more clearly. reduce irrational behavior, actions, and decisions - haste makes waste

being cool, calm, and collected will help you avoid jumping to conclusions and over-reacting.

If you're impulsive like me (I'm an Aries) then you know that being cool and calm can save you a ton of money. This is extremely good for compulsive shoppers and impulsive shoppers who will spend and spend and spend their paychecks on knick-knacks, meaningless trinkets, and junk food, instead of saving for more larger more important products and social experiences like traveling, dining out with your boo, or buying a special gift.

It can also help you avoid confusion, misunderstandings, and drama - especially if you're hasty with words or have a tendency to say whatever comes to your mind.


you will appear more confident in the eyes of others - even if you are NOT confident because you're relaxed and NOT distracted by people or events or situations that can cause drama, doubt, or worry. You cast aside everything that's trivial and you prioritize and deal with issues that actually affect your life or work or relationships.

being cool and calm will help you draw from experience easier - during this time you will have a sharper memory and therefore, you will be wiser in your relationships, business dealings, work, conversations

your instincts will become sharper because your mind is not flooded with emotions

Don't start worrying and trippin' before you go out.

Remember to stay in constant practice with improving your conversation skills and social skills.

If you don't practice and engage, that's the only reason why you should worry. Other than that, you should be having a good time.

So, Practice... and, just be cool.

- loveqna

The Big Payback: I Want Revenge!

James Brown - The Payback






Video provided by - OldSchoolChibani



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So, this bitch led me on and broke my heart. She pretended to care about me and to be interested in me romantically. Every time she invited me out - whether it was with her friends or if we were alone - she'd have her arm around me or she'd be nudged against me with her head on my shoulder almost as if we were cuddling. And we HAVE cuddled and flirted with each other at times and even talked about dating, but I now I see it was all B.S.

And, I never initiated the conversation! Hell, I thought she was grieving over a recent break-up.

But...

She kept flirting with me and eventually we shared a kiss.

It was nice. I didn't feel any sparks or fireworks, but her lips were very soft and the kiss was cool. As a matter of fact, I could never get tired of kissing a girl with lips as sweet and as soft as hers.

But, I had to break away because she started that boolshit and began playing mind games earlier. And, I was a little leery about getting too intimate with a "player" (a hoe), although I wanted to tap that ass.

First, she talked all of this shit about being together but then said she was still pissed about me getting drunk at a party and going into a rage about wanting to go home.

Me and this bitch were laying in bed (just talking) and she was all over me - in my face, arm around me, talking sweet, and getting personal, and all of that. Then, LATER, she's flirting around with another guy (in her group of friends) and hugging all over him. THEN, that same night (the SAME day) the bitch was hugged up all on ANOTHER dude and getting cozy with him! This is the night she claimed that I got drunk and "went into a rage about going home".

It had a bit to do with the fact that she was flirty as hell and basically a player, but I had a few beers because some of my friends were at the bar and I was bored as hell with her and her entourage. They were bowling and although I WILL go bowling, I'm not interested in bowling. And, I don't like going out to venues where you just sit and drink and sit and drink and talk and sit and drink - HELL, I CAN DO THAT AT HOME! wtf???

So, I wanted to go home since neither she nor any of her friends wanted to go out dancing or something besides bowling. We could've at least walked around uptown and checked out the scene.

So, anyway, she said she "had a change of heart" because SHE said I flipped-out.

A few weeks later, she was all over me again but I kept her arms and hands off of me and played it cool. Whenever she tried that "hugging b.s.", I intercepted her hand and clasped it for a brief moment before letting go. I didn't want her to touch me. I wasn't pouting. I just didn't want her on me like that. She'll especially do stuff like that in front of other people - and I don't know why - but, "Don't play with me. Run that game on those suckers."

Don't you hate it when someone tries to play with your emotions like that? Or, when they flirt and tease a lot. Or, when they send mixed signals? Or, when they can't make up their mind about dating exclusively, being in a relationship, or being friends? After awhile you get tired of their crap and want them to move on and leave you alone.

I know it's hard to avoid the scalawag, but if possible, just stay away. Don't accept their phone calls. Don't respond to their text messages. Don't go out on dates with the bum. Just keep busy. Find a hobby or something and Keep your mind off of him or her and let the emotions die down. If you don't, you're just gonna be constantly frustrated and pissed off because they'll keep toying with you as long as you allow it.

Keep reading.

So, anyway, she comes to my job - being flirty and invading my personal space. She got close and realized that I had been smoking. She wants me to quit. And, when she smelled the smoke she said, "That's why we could never be together."

This dumbass broad. I wrote her off a long time ago. I don't give a fat baby's bottom if she knows I smoke! Good riddens...

Time passes and we're chillin' (as friends or whatever) and she's bringing me food at work, and giving me rides to and from work, and cooking for me, and wanting to go out, and we're grocery shopping together, and having semi-deep conversations, and she's asking for and receiving massages from me and giving me back rubs, and we're kickin' it exclusively for a few weeks, so I'm thinking: "okay, we're making progress."

I was thinking maybe she's trying to change her "player" ways.

Then, BAM! The bitch goes on a trip out of town with some scumbag.... lol. wtf??

You talk about playing with a guy's emotions... lol. I wanted to cuss that bitch out.

Then, a couple of days later, she had the nerve to try and sip some of my coffee. I said, "AHHT! Don't put your lips on my cup and you've had that guy's dick and balls in your mouth!"

I may have overreacted, but I was serious. I didn't want that bastards balls on my cup. And, I don't like drinking after people - especially women who spend the night with other men. Ain't no telling where the guy's dick and balls have been. Or, where the woman's mouth has been.

She just gave me this weird look. She was probably shocked at my reaction, but she knew I was telling the truth.

I said to myself: This has got to be the devil - or, bad karma - for all the times I've been a jerk in my relationships.

Whatever. It's still b.s.

So, here's the last straw... the end of the story...

We're supposed to be platonic friends but she called me over twice a couple of weeks ago. We talked and cuddled and whatnot (No sex or kissing), and I spent the night with her. The next day (or night rather - since I'm still on 3rd shift), she cooked and brought me lunch. She's always asking me if I want her to bring me lunch or if I need anything because she's a sweet girl.

And, I hate that I work at night because she's always telling me she's lonely and wished I could be home with her at night. And, it makes me feel bad because I hate the fact that's she's lonely.

But, that broad wasn't lonely for too long!

A few nights after that, she had another friend spend the night in there cuddling with her! I said "DAMN!" wtf??? lol... This bitch will drive a man insane. lol... She TOLD me she was cuddling with the dude.

I said, "What's wrong with this chick? Does she have a cuddling fetish?"

What would you do if a girl (or a guy) kept playing with you like that? Some people would snap. It's situations and events like this that turn nice guys into O. J. Simpson.

But, that's not even the "kicker"...

Two or three days after that, she tells me she was introduced to some guy and they're "officially" boyfriend and girlfriend... "OFFICIALLY".

Now, what does that mean???

Did she consummate the relationship???

I don't know what "officially" means and I don't think I care to know. But, I DO know this:

It'll be a cold day in Hell before I let that bitch fuck with my mind again.

And, I'm not a vengeful person but you have to admit: Sometimes revenge is sweet as hell. And, I plan on paying her back for all the times she's led me on and kept me involved in her craziness.

I don't care about that old saying "you never miss a good thing until it's gone". I don't want her to miss me.

And, I don't want her to have any regrets about NOT giving me the opportunity to be her man.

What I want is for that bitch to see me and beg and plead for the chance just to be acknowledged by me.

I want her to be desperate for me and yearn for the chance just to be near me.

And, she's still not gonna get an immediate invitation. Eventually, she's gonna have to have an appointment.

I hate to say it like that.

But, if you've ever been in a situation like this or ever been played with emotionally and mentally by these scumbag wannabee players, then I'm sure you know how I feel. And, if you don't, I'll tell you right now...

I'm mad as Hell.

- loveqna

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Why It's So Hard To Let Go

 Nelly Furtado - I'm Like A Bird

Video provided by - NellyFurtadoVEVO

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I've lost my will to live. I feel like I just want to lay in this bed and die for the rest of my life...

Having a broken heart is hell.

Although... I don't know if my heart is really broken. Maybe it's just disappointment... I don't know...

I'm just de-motivated.

Or, un-motivated.

Hell, I just don't have any energy. My desire to blog and write has left me.

I feel like a deflated balloon... drifting, falling, rising, wandering aimlessly looking for a place to die.

I've never realized it before, but one of the worst feelings in the world is to be in a close relationship with someone you know in your heart is "perfect" for you as a partner or lover and to be rejected by him or her romantically, although, the BOTH of you are looking for someone to love.

Here you are willing to give all of yourself completely to this person - to be honest, faithful, devoted, supportive, and everything else, and he or she is looking past you still searching for something else like you have no value. Or, like you're just uninteresting.

The bum is getting used, abused, rejected, stood-up, cussed-out, and kicked to the damn curb and he or she STILL won't take a chance with you. ??? Like: wtf??? Am I a leper or something???

And, it's not that the only thing you have to offer is a great personality. You may be cute, attractive, or have your finances and life essentials (like your car, home, and job) in order, and you might have some style and class about yourself, yet and still, it's not good enough for more than a friendship.

And, the craziest thing about all of this is: You could do better.

It's not like this douchebag is top-shelf. But... he (or she) has all of the qualities (or that one unique quality) you like and admire, so you can't resist and it's driving you insane.

What do you do about a situation like that?

I've always said it's not always easy to just pick yourself up and move on from a relationship. Sometimes, you can easily walk away, sometimes you can't. Some people can't leave a relationship no matter how heart-breaking and/or stressful it is.

The bum may not be all that attractive or kind or thoughtful - or even useful - but, when he or she has all of the qualities you've ever wanted and hoped for in a man or woman, it's like they've been put here especially for you... Like a blessing from God... And, you feel like you have to make the most of it (this blessing) before it's too late. Like you can't let this opportunity pass you by or you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

So, your mind churns and turns. Anxiety takes hold. You're restless. You can't focus... All you can do is hope and wait and pray that he or she finally opens his or her eyes and recognize this opportunity also. And the more time that passes by, the more anxious and grief-stricken you feel.

It's even worse when you're close friends, because you're around this person often and he or she is running around pursuing prospects and dates and smooching or having sex with various scumbags and not giving you the chance to make love, or show your love, or sway his or her opinion before some worthless jerk (or chickenhead) comes into the picture and ruins everything.

It just takes everything out of you... Drains your spirit. And, there's not much you can do about it.

I ain't too proud to beg, but I'd have to be at my wits end before I started that crap.

So, I'm just laying here... waiting to die before I have to get up and go to work.

If she wasn't a "ride-or-die" chick, I could care less. But a woman with those qualities are hard to come by. And, she has them all. Intelligence. Drive. Courage. Determination. Devotion. Supportive. Sex-Appeal. Charm.... I could run down the entire list, but you know what I mean.

With a girl like that on your side it's like being involved in the Ultimate Relationship: like "Bonnie and Clyde".

That's what most guys want. AND, what a lot of women out there want. Even THIS chick! Ever since I've known her, that's been one of the most important ideals on her mind - to have a "Bonnie and Clyde" type of relationship.

That dumb broad... We have so much in common.

Anyway...

Now, you can get an idea of why I'm going crazy and why it's hard for me to simply move on. 


I only hope she opens her eyes soon so that we can pursue and conquer our dreams together before she throws herself away on some jerk who only wants her to be a submissive handmaid.

I don't know... I thought it was a blessing, but it could also be the devil tormenting me.

- loveqna