If you have never felt trapped in a relationship for a long period of time, I can tell you firsthand that it really will drive you to the point of doing the unthinkable. I didn't snap or anything, but I was walking around in the middle of the night cussin' at the wind, cussin' at the sidewalk, cussin' at the past, and cussin' at myself.
It was stress, frustration, irritation, anger, sadness, and just plain being "sick and tired" of everything and everyone around me.
It was stress, frustration, irritation, anger, sadness, and just plain being "sick and tired" of everything and everyone around me.
This is all MY fault. I got myself into this because I was "doing the right thing" by helping people who needed help. That's what we're all supposed to be doing on this great green earth, right? We're supposed to be helping each other or helping others when we can.
Now, that philosophy was biting me in the backside.
And, I was starting to hate everything I was taught...
I hated my upbringing and beliefs, but I couldn't turn away from it. I was even mad at my family and Mother for my upbringing. I was angry for being brought-up in baptist home and being brainwashed.
But, I couldn't help it. I can't help it. It's IN me to help others. It's in me to be kind and caring.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. I'm just a regular guy who believes in doing good when I can and when I'm not too lazy.
But, take heed of my foolishness and remember the old saying: "You can't be good to some people because they will only try to take advantage of you."
It's true. Some people you just can't help because they don't want help. They don't appreciate the good you do for them - even if they're your kids, cousin, brother, or sister. All they want is a free ride. They ain't grateful for anything. They have no desire to build or contribute. They're like greedy-ass damn vultures, and you have to know when to cut them off.
I didn't do it soon enough.
I was going crazy. I'm still going crazy, because I'm dealing with BS.
Just a week ago, I had nine damn people living in my little three bedroom house - and, half of them were little loud-ass, bad-ass kids under the age of five. And, the broad still had people coming over and bringing their little loud-ass kids to run around all over the house screaming and crying and bounce off the damn floors and walls.
So, I had to listen to that shit and three little dogs (and you know how much those little dogs love to bark) barking over and over and over again at all the noise that was being made.
WE'RE IN A PANDEMIC! ALL THESE PEOPLE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE OVER HERE!
And then she's got the nerve to come in the room where I am and ask me if I'm gonna "come out and speak."
Hell no, ain't none of y'all fools got a mask on, (and if they do have a mask, they're wearing them on their chin instead of covering their face with it). Ain't nobody got time for that boolshit. And then she has the nerve to get mad at me - talking about I'm being "antisocial"... Damn right I'm being antisocial; Y'all are supposed to be "anti-distant"! Get the hell out of my room and go in there with your coronavirus carrying friends!
And, guess what???
Three of them ended up testing POSITIVE for "Corona".
LOL... Those jackasses where shocked and distressed as hell. You should've seen'em - on the phone crying and shit.
I was happy as hell. It gave me a chance to take some time off from work. And, I had PLENNY of personal time and vacation time to use. I haven't been to work in two months.
And, I have even better news... But, it will have to wait! She just woke-up...
Just a week ago, I had nine damn people living in my little three bedroom house - and, half of them were little loud-ass, bad-ass kids under the age of five. And, the broad still had people coming over and bringing their little loud-ass kids to run around all over the house screaming and crying and bounce off the damn floors and walls.
So, I had to listen to that shit and three little dogs (and you know how much those little dogs love to bark) barking over and over and over again at all the noise that was being made.
WE'RE IN A PANDEMIC! ALL THESE PEOPLE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE OVER HERE!
And then she's got the nerve to come in the room where I am and ask me if I'm gonna "come out and speak."
Hell no, ain't none of y'all fools got a mask on, (and if they do have a mask, they're wearing them on their chin instead of covering their face with it). Ain't nobody got time for that boolshit. And then she has the nerve to get mad at me - talking about I'm being "antisocial"... Damn right I'm being antisocial; Y'all are supposed to be "anti-distant"! Get the hell out of my room and go in there with your coronavirus carrying friends!
And, guess what???
Three of them ended up testing POSITIVE for "Corona".
LOL... Those jackasses where shocked and distressed as hell. You should've seen'em - on the phone crying and shit.
I was happy as hell. It gave me a chance to take some time off from work. And, I had PLENNY of personal time and vacation time to use. I haven't been to work in two months.
And, I have even better news... But, it will have to wait! She just woke-up...
(EDIT)
She was "playing possum". She wasn't really sleep the whole time. Maybe the typing woke her up, but anyway, she must've taken notice of the TV screen and saw the title of this Blogger account. So, now she knows for sure. I thought she knew the name of this blog long before, because she told me a while ago not to write anything about her on my blog.
I actually had to make this blog private for a week or so at one point after she asked about a video that had this blog title in the intro.
My house was rowdy enough, and I was tired of arguing, so that's why I haven't been blogging or trying to advance my blog.
Everything in my life is just wasting away...
