This is not how I was able to "break the spell". This jumbled mess is about what I saw that made me say, "the hell with this crap". I wish I could've made it flow better, but if you have stomach for it, read on, forgive me, and I'll do better next time.
Okay. Now, check it out:
People run all kinds of game these days... If they ain't pimpin', they're scammin'. If they ain't scammin', they're trying to "influence". And, that bottom dollar is the bottom line in every equation of the hustle.
People are willing to do any-and-everything for a few dollars these days.
That's why you have to keep your eyes on that paper, and watch these scandalous mongrels with their bag of tricks.
Spend Wisely. Give Wisely. Invest In Quality. And, NEVER be afraid to say "No" - or be too embarrassed to say "No" - when another person mismanages their money and expects you to "be a friend" or "dependable" and "take up their slack". If you ain't got it, you ain't got it. It is what it is. You can't save everybody.
And, I know this.
Yet, I didn't pay attention, and almost wound-up being a Full-Time SugarDaddy for a homeless woman with Westcoast game.
She didn't break me, but I DID cashapp her more money than I expected.
That broad had my ass buttered-up so good, those dollar bills were going to slide out of pockets no matter which way I was turned.
All my mind was focused on was helping her get out of her situation and into a nice luxury apartment that was safe. (Ol' Captain Save-A-Hoe! 😄lol...) But, what do you think she really wanted?
I STILL DON'T DAMN KNOW!
I've been trying to tell this story for a while now, but I couldn't because this is a once in a lifetime experience.
I'm gonna try to be complete, but I know I'm going to leave a lot of info out and have to talk about this again.
Also, I'm not going to post any "receipts" at this time, but I MIGHT do it later - after I learn this woman's true motives.
In the meantime, don't date any homeless women until you read these posts! If they take your ass for a "ride", don't say I didn't warn'yah!
Anyway... This is (kinda) what's going on...
I don't know what to say about this woman. She MAY have "mental problems" but maybe not. You'll have to see for yourself.
But...
It seems like everywhere she goes, somebody or some group of people are attacking her, following her, ignoring her efforts, or kicking her down while she's down, or kicking her out of their house for no reason.
I'm not talking about full-on Schizophrenia or anything like that. But, something ain't right.
She swears there's no "common denominator" in the equation of all of her "negative" situations.
She really thinks everyone likes her and wants to be her friend after five minutes of meeting her. I agreed. I told her: Yeah. She's cool when people FIRST meet her. But, after ten or fifteen minutes, they can't stand her!
She says she doesn't know why people turn on her. And, I believe her. I really don't think she is purposely trying to drive people away - although her actions and language often tells a different story. I think she is so desperate to be loved and cared about that she is bitter about not having people in her life that she can trust and intimately talk to.
I tried to help, and I asked her: "So, what's going on? What are you talking about when you first meet people? What are you doing? What are you saying?"
But, I could see it was more than that...
She couldn't stay still for five minutes - even in the middle of the night! She was always moving or moving on to the next thought or idea in her head.
I told her the lady she was living with was going to put her ass out!
That didn't happen. But, when she tried to rent a room from the woman again, she said the lady said she couldn't do it. And, it wasn't because rooms were unavailable. She tried to explain it to me (while blaming the woman of something), but I was already disgusted and didn't wanna hear it.
...because she's hard-headed.
She can't stay in her room or the house at night without running in and out. She thinks people are supposed to be understanding and tolerant whenever she intrudes or inconveniences them. She engages random people in conversations, then when she starts talking, she gets riled-up and starts cussin' and swearing all over the place. Then, you can hear it. The nervousness or annoyance in some people's voice (or NOTHING AT ALL), because she's yappin' about her life story (again), excited, and scaring the people half to death.
** I don't know you. Why are you telling me your life story and talking about God and curses and shit? **
A lot of those homeless people are scary and come out of "left field" with some weird shit sometimes, like: conspiracy theories, secret organizations that go around abducting homeless folks, organ hunters and life insurance vampires, gangstalking, predators, sex-traffickers, etc. They believe there are people out there that are trying to "eliminate" them because they are homeless. And, it may be true... But I'm not sure what's wrong with HER.
She's scary, but she doesn't seem like she's crazy - or, like she will suddenly attack - but, I ain't tryin' to get caught lackin'.
Now...
I can see almost everything that takes place online if it's on YouTube. And, usually (everyday), those rascals would be on the platform bright and early - cussin' each other out.
I don't know how they do it. And, you can tell they all get a "rush" out of belittling and berating each other. (primitive-minded mongrels)
She'll make a "positive" video every now and then. But, she's still going to tell you her story, address and confront the haters, and more than likely cuss somebody out or accuse people of watching her suffer online.
She was doing some hellified preachin' one day. She had her voice trembling and everything.
She must have picked it up from her daddy.
It made me want to send some MORE money! I said, "Damn!"👀
I already do feel bad for her. But, my "help" has gotten her nowhere. The Forces Of Darkness are too embedded in this one. She's too far gone - almost to the point of being a Prophet. Or, is she? You know MOST PROPHETS are weird (or seem weird) to us, so hey... I'm not trying to be funny. I'm wondering about it for real.
i want her to get on track, but i don't like the fact that she is online lying on people. And from the story she told me over the phone versus what she is saying now online, could get her into trouble - if what she told me initially is true. Or, maybe not. Who knows.
But, that's just one of quite a few lies that she's done told me AND, that I have witnessed online.
I'm not going to get into the other lies she has told me, right now. But, I will mention that because I was willing to donate so often to help her succeed.
But, she began to be wasteful, and not keep up her efforts. I think she really came to believe that I was her Benefactor (a.k.a. SugarDaddy). And, she'd call me regularly, text me, cuss me out, and wish me a good day or a good night, as if we were "friends", and that was a lie. She proved that early on a FEW times.
She talked about all of the things she didn't have and the things she wish she had and looked forward to in her future, and it was all "game".
The "college story", the "foster care story", "the Pandemic eviction story", "the Atlanta story", it's all game too. They may be true stories (Some of them are "suspect" - or "questionable") but, you have to look beyond the obvious and past the details, and use common sense to understand that she really wants her looks and personality to gain her fame and fortune. She'll even go to the "predators" and "potential traffickers" that she can't stand in order to get money. Calling them out one day, and begging for their help the next.... pitiful. (smh)
Whatever works.
But, this time, it looks like she's not giving up. She knows she has to be careful because she's running out of social media platforms to use. (She had to leave Facebook at one point also.)
I think her goal is to have a similar life and the same admiration from her subs as she believes those other "homeless girls" are having. People are sending them comments with love and praise and money - AND Hate (but she ignores those or lights up when she talks about how those "homeless girls" cuss-out their subscribers too,) and she wants that. She told me she wants to be in Tyler Perry movies and eventually make a movie about her life (which is possible). But, you better be sure you aren't making up shit that your family members or other people can sue you on.
She keeps saying that she "puts in the work", but I ain't never seen her ass get any further than a few months on any job that she barely works at.
When i sent her a donation for gas and food or a room she needed, she would call me in the middle of the day to talk on the phone, instead of resting for work and using that money to add to what she was making.
I started to feel uneasy about the situation because you know a lot of people say there are scammers out there who pretend to be homeless to con people out of their money, and her track record wasn't looking too good early on.
I didn't want to ruin her ambition and drive, and I worried: "How is she going to accomplish her goals if she's laying out of work every time she gets a few dollars?
I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She's been through a lot and eats crappy food - even when she has money - because she can't store food for days at a time. So, sometimes she needed to get a room. She would blame it on her health and/or on "being tired" and lay around in an Airbnb, chillin' (When she wasn't up late at night running in and out of the people's house or hotel to smoke a cigarette or her Black & Milds.)
I don't know.
She didn't ACT like someone who wanted to make a difference in her own life. She acted like a damn "hoodrat". I tried to tell her...
Sometimes, late at night, she would be in the car playing music or talking loud as hell like she's in a crowded mall or at a park or somewhere. Free-spirited as hell!
And then, have the nerve to ask me if she was being too loud! (That's probably why she couldn't get back into some of those Airbnbs that she said she wanted to rent again.)
You can't be around those people all the time unless you really just don't give a damn about nuthin'. Why? Because, they are bound to do some weird or crazy shit. It will be "normal" to them, but it keeps people that know the person on pins and needles. Lord help them if they suffer from anxiety... Then, again, a free-spirit might be just the right person you need in your life to help you with your anxiety.
But, I felt bad for her. She just didn't get it. And, I could see her poor dumbass getting kicked out many more times in the future.
Is she Bohemian? Mmmmm... Not sure. But, definitely not a Hippie. So, I don't think she enjoys living like a "nomad" and traveling from state to state, looking for homeless shelters and adventure.
But, at the same time, she didn't make wise decisions when spending her money nor anyone else's. This was a red flag also. Sometimes, I feel like she actually LOVES struggling.
And, when she bought the car, it was too late. Or, at least I thought it was...
She told me the first time that she was paying $800 a month for her car payment.
I SAID, "WHAT IN THE HELL.." This damn chicken-head-rascal! Eight hundred dollars!!!
I told her that she was lying, and that there was no way she was paying that much money per month - in addition to car insurance - for a used Honda. But, she assured me that her dumbass did. (Maybe she was lying to get more money, but who knows. But, I was confused a few months later when she was online and said her car payment was $400 a month. She said this on TikTok. )
Now, don't get me wrong. I've always told her to get as much money as she can and pay her debts down and try to make some progress, but it's always "something". I ain't never seen one person have so much "bad luck" in my life... with her lyin' ass.
And, people know she's bullshittin'!
But, some of us still want to help her get into her own place.
Will she be able to keep it though? Or, will she be willing to let it go at some point because she knows she can survive on the streets and not have the responsibility?
That's another thing I worry about. I think she will try to do the right thing in the beginning, but...
She's always lying or making rash decisions and lying about them. Sometimes, she'll change the story completely to always paint herself as a victim or an underdog who is barely clinging to life - unless somebody will come to her rescue and help her pay her storage fees.
So, who in their right mind could ever trust her?
And, she does it in public!
I said, "Damn! Why is she on here every week lying her ass off???"
She claimed she didn't want to sell her soul, but she was on Only Fans selling more than that to the people she called "predators". And, the only reasons she didn't continue to do it was because, she said they wouldn't give her more than "chump change" to see her use toys.
But, she was still conflicted about shutting down the account! I could hear that "smile" in her voice as we talked about it. She asked me for my opinion and I basically told her that I didn't know her life, and didn't want to give her an opinion. Plus, I wasn't going to take care of her if she didn't go back to work at her full-time job. So, if she felt like OnlyFans was her best option, I told her: "More power to her."
Another reason I didn't offer an opinion is because she always talked shit about the people she listened to in the past. But then, she's still running around like "Chicken Little" with her head cut-off telling everybody her business, and then getting mad when they offer their opinions, suggestions, criticisms, or advice.
And, God forbid if you tell her the truth! Yo' ass gettin' cussed-out in zero-point-zero seconds flat! lol... I ain't boolshittin'. 😄
No thanks. I'm happy. I feel good. I'm not about to let this hoodrat ruin my day.
Hell, sometimes she would call me in the middle of the night - loud as hell, and talking shit...
I'd pick up the phone: "Hello."
"Hello."
She'd be cool and calm and sounding like she had all of her senses...
Then, I say something like, "How you doing?"
"HOW YOU THINK I'M DOING!!! I'M HOMELESS WHILE YOU HAVE A NICE WARM BED TO SLEEP IN...." 😄😄😄
I don't know why I'd be shocked. But, I'd be shocked everytime.
I said (to myself - and still in shock), "This damn fool..."
"GIRL, CALM YO' ASS DOWN!! DON'T BE CALLIN' MY PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT CUSSIN' AND YELLIN' AND SHIT! YOU'RE GONNA WAKE-UP EVERYONE IN THE DAMN HOUSE!"
Damn! This chick will make you lose your religion! I have flashbacks everytime I talk about it.
I hate to do it, but I had to hang-up on her one time. I started feeling like an abused boyfriend or something.
She got ticked-off at me almost every time we had a conversation, because I didn't agree with everything she said. She accused me of not being sympathetic enough and not understanding... And, sometimes, she would just sit on the phone or put it down and not say anything. So, I'd hang up and wouldn't hear from her for a few days to a couple of weeks later.
Often she would say that it was because she didn't want to keep asking me for money. I believe her, because I would go online to listen to what she had to say and check on her to see if she was making progress, and she seemed to be on track.
After the first few months (or couple of months) of us talking on the phone, she was happy, and proud of herself. She bought a car and "treated herself" to some pampering and personal care. Some people thought she had some money hidden in the cut somewhere, and was scamming them. But, she wasn't. Between me and the other few people that were donating to her, she was able to get a room to rest for a few days, a car, some feminine products, and a little "glow-up". A few times, I've been on the phone with her and witnessed her give a few beggars money who were panhandling for pocket change. So, I halfway believed what she was saying about not wanting to be a burden. BUT....
Just as fast as she would tell me that, she would call me for another donation. I said, "Damn!"
This broad is online talking about love and dating, so I was hoping she was going to meet someone soon, because I also had a needy family members, and I couldn't keep contributing to everyone's bag except my own.
I was ballin'... But, not on the SugarDaddy Level! I ain't got that kind of paper!
And, it was easy to see and hear and read her posts and realize that she didn't manage her money or her life well. I'm no better, but I was growing my fortune. And, I had already been through some of the crap she was growing through. But, she always knew everything. Or, she had her plans already set. And, honestly, I didn't want to interfere because sometimes, you can give a person an idea or plan or tell them what you would do in a situation, and they'll leave out a step, screw their life up, and you'll live with regret forever. No thank you.
If I don't know you that well; if you're not writing anything down; I'm not risking my peace of mind to help you fail. She would listen to everything and not hear anything - unless it was something I said that made it sound like I doubted her or didn't support her beliefs and/or ideas.
Really, when you're dealing with a person who is hardheaded or who has an attitude like this, all you can do is pray for them. They have to find their way on their own. They won't trust, believe, appreciate anyone that tries to give them anything they didn't ask for.
After talking to her on the phone the first time and looking at another video, I realized that she was probably going to struggle a lot more than she really needed to.
She was on live telling people that her car was messed up (this was her previous car) and that she was going to have to get it fixed. But, she was asking all of these people on "live" what to do and what to say. And, they were telling her what questions to ask or something - it was a real trainwreck, and although it was an old video and she had moved on, I still felt sorry for her while watching it.
Have you ever met anyone that just seemed to be a magnet for struggling? They just can't seem to get enough of drama, trouble, confusion, and being broke. Good God-o-Mighty... I can't stand it. Trying to talk to these type of people is really like talking to a wall.
She was struggling so much and asking for help so much and not making any progress that people started to think she was scamming them.
She "proved" to them that she was "helping herself" and making the effort to "get on her feet" by showing viewers and followers videos of her new ID, various job applications, letters from organizations that help women, her new job ID badge, and by talking to various counsellors and professionals on the phone. But, beyond that, she would often go back to panhandling and telling her life story online.
And, the more videos I watched, the more I felt sorry for her. And, although she was harping on the same things over and over and over and over, it was still a tragic story that helped her get prayers and guidance from her subscribers.
That's when I had a revelation: I said, "Damn! She's milking that cow for all it's worth!"
I thought for sure she was going to blow-up and her channel was going to grow! And, it was...
But, she also HAD to focus on the negative comments. She couldn't help herself.
She CAN'T help herself!
She has to battle with those rat-bastards everyday or she won't feel good about starting her day. She won't have anything to complain or rant about.
Everytime you turn around she's online yappin' about how she is a product of her mother and her mother's stepfather being intimate. Because of this and the fact that her mother was later discovered using drugs - and the fact that her father is "dark" and a pastor, and did something like this TO or WITH his stepdaughter (I don't know how old she was at the time and she never said anything about him going to prison, so the mom may have been of age), she says, she's fighting against a "Generational Curse" she has to break.
I get it. I know a lot of people who talk about the subject. But, if you don't know what "the curse" really is, how can you fight against it? To many people, this would be more of a "family scandal" than a curse. And, I'm sure that wouldn't be the reason she has been homeless for over a decade, as she claims.
But, there's more...
After she was born, her father was the only one really taking care of her because her family had despised what he had done. So, although he was abusive towards her, he was all she had until the day he died.
Her mother's family resented her and she was shunned.
And, after her father's passing, her family used her, abused her, and neglected her, until she ran away or was taken into the foster care system. (It could be that some of her family members were her legal guardians in the foster care system, but I don't know. She tells the same story, but sometimes in various ways.)
This is horrible. I can only imagine the horrors she probably had to deal with in her own family because of someone else's lack of self-control and/or demonic possession.
Nevertheless, she says her mother's family does not have any sympathy for her, deprived her of her capital and necessities, and left her to fend for herself.
This situation went on after her father died.
She claims she went through all kinds of hell. And, I believe it.
She said she was abused and raped by one of her cousins and turned-out by another one or a family friend (but, since it's a female, she doesn't call it rape or even statuatory rape). She "just messed with her".
It's one of the signs that she is in denial about some things. But, that's not the only thing she's in denial about.
But, you can't talk to her about those things or share your perspective, or she gets pissed.
And, that's one of my first issues...
"If you don't see things her way, you are against her."
I've met some Libras who love to argue, but damn.
Then, she'd rant and rage about her nemesis and his minions...
This is some guy that promised he'd help her and give her a place to sleep for the night, but kicked her out because she allegedly took a "cannibus edible" without asking him for it - after he had already given her one. So, because of this, he put her out and didn't pay her for the agreed upon price for sex, but instead, Cashapped her a dollar. This is possibly what started all of the drama, because people picked sides and found enough "dirt" and "info" to flame each other with.
I didn't like talking to her on the phone, and I really thought she had a lot of "friends" or "subs" to talk to, so I avoided the arguments - and to be honest - I was sick of hearing her same life story over and over again - online and on the phone.
And, I TRIED to get her to talk about different things, but every time you turn around, she was living in the past or talking about her haters or complaining that thousands of people were watching her, but none of them were helping her.
I said, "They've probably got bills, families, and children, of their own. Everybody can't keep sending you money every few weeks to support your lifestyle."
Then, she starts talking about how "other people who are online looking for help" are getting "support" and money from their followers, but she is being bullied, picked-at, and trolled, by hers.
And, that's the essence of her m.o. She is good at flipping anything you say into a criticism, a negative comment, a dismissal of her efforts, a snide, whatever. It's not only gaslighting, it's one of the signs of a psychopath.
I'm not saying she's dangerous, or that she's a scammer, or that she's trying to start a cult. I'm not even saying that I'm trying to warn people of her.
The fact is...
A LOT of those homeless people are off their fucking rocker, and she is no exception. You KNOW something has to be wrong with her if she's wanting to talk to me on the phone for hours at a time. Hell, I ain't talkin' about nuthin'.
Everybody I talk to is weird as hell. But, I guess I am too. I still have a dead woman's phone number in my phone that I went on a date with once. She was in a deadly car accident last year, and our courtship was cut short...
smh...
But, I had stopped pursuing her before then because we really didn't have much chemistry or a real connection other than watching old classic movies, classical music, and our interest in meeting someone new. And, she was shy. So, most of our conversations were small-talk even when I opened up about various things in my life and some of my interests. She would tell me a few things and sometimes make some jokes, but she seemed to be really focused on work, clients, and numbers. It didn't matter to me though. The one thing that really excited me about her was her voice. She sounded just like one of those female TV personalities that you hear on a documentary or the news or a movie or something. I'd never heard anyone talk like that in real life before, so I thought that was amazing.
And, she was cute. Plus, stacked!
It was an opportunity for Love... But, she's a Capricorn and I'm an Aries, so it wasn't meant to be.
Sad memories...
Anyway... Back to my homeless sugarbaby:
She sent me text messages like crazy. I wish I remembered our first conversation, but there were a few things going on at the time, and I was dodging panhandlers and beggin-ass mongrels from here to Timbuktu. Relatives mostly...
LORD, GOD only knows how great my life would've been if I hadn't grown-up living the hoodrat lifestyle.
I'M SURROUNDED BY'EM!
Lord, helpmeh. lol...
Anyway...
This broad started calling me on a regular basis and sending me back-to-back texts telling me about her trolls, haters, doubters, and some guy she was beefing with online.
I'll be honest. I was shocked. I was dumbfounded. I felt like I was on the inside track and had a backstage pass to some real bonafied YouTubers who were wellknowned on the Net.
I was getting all of the "celebrity-gossip", and all of the inside information.
I had a YouTube channel too! I was gonna join forces with her and put all of those crumb-snatchin' gossipers on blast. I almost thought the Lord had blessed me with a barrel of fools for the pickins'.
But, then I realized something:
I don't want to deal with this hoodrat-ass-shit.
I'm damn near blind. My relatives are beggars, annoying "comedians", party animals, and dying left and right from hustling and all of that greasy trash-ass wannabee soul-food that they love so much. So, I really don't have time for online drama.
I had enough drama in my life dealing with that shit. I can't see. I don't want to be around crowds with a bunch of jackass hoodrats who keep forgetting I'm not Me anymore - although I'm mostly like Me. And, then I've been away from my family for over a decade, and I've grown-up a little bit, so I don't care about getting drunk anymore. I don't care about going to clubs and flirting anymore. I don't want drama of any kind in my life right now. Especially not with a bunch of online hoodrats. I don't have time for it.
Nevertheless, I DID feel bad for her and hoped she wasn't feeling bullied. She said she was. But, then, she's on her platform talking about the guy she hates and his zombie-minions. Then, she got on YouTube Live and started "blankin'" and cussin' their asses out.
I tried to urge her to stop going on her "enemies'" channels to read their comments and watch their videos, but she couldn't help it.
And, then she would call me - sometimes crying - and tell me how cruel "those people" are and how she looks at her analytics and no woman is coming on channel to support her.
In fact, she had over six thousand subs within several months (3 to 5 months) on YouTube and she cussed all of their asses out too! She called them all trolls and "read them their rights". And then, put them on "punishment" by removing a few of her videos and disappearing for a few days.
They were like: "Why are you talking to us that way? We love you. We're praying for you. We are here to support you..."
She snapped back! lol.... "LIES. ALL LIES. All y'all try to do is keep me down. Y'all don't support me!"
It's not funny (because she may have mental health issues), but it is funny, but it's like something you only see in a skit or movie. I'm surprised that some of them aren't ALREADY in a cult. For real. They way they're beggin'.
She'll cuss them out one day. Then she'll come back begging for help herself the next day. And, when they don't donate to her Cashapp, she calls a few of her "regulars" - including me - to shovel over "a few dollahs fordah cause".
It didn't take long for me to realize just how much she was like "family" and all of the other poor pitiful-ass hoodrats in the neighborhood. She don't mind wasting her time and resources, and neither does she mind wasting YOUR TIME AND HARD-EARNED MONEY.
She was online lyin' like hell about she wasn't getting any help and didn't have any support and a couple of other things I can't talk about right now.
But, what makes me nervous is: she's online saying that she was sexually assaulted by a guy on her job when she told me that she got to know the guy, gave him a ride home, stayed over his house or apartment and had sex only to be escorted out later that night or day.
Then, she said the guy wanted her to "top him off" and she said "no" or that "she was too tired", and he didn't want to talk to her anymore. So, she had to sleep in her car although she was supposedly kickin' it with this dude.
I didn't think that was very nice, but I tried to tell her that she can't be nice and respectful one minute, then start cussin' and rantin' the next, or she was going to turn people off or run them away. She said he was "feeling her" at first. But, who knows what turned him off.
Anyway...
A little while after he asked for "oral" and she denied him, she said that he started showing interest in another girl and started to ignore her. She said she got upset about this and started following the guy around on the job and spying on him. She said she was trying to make contact with him, because he started ignoring her. This set her off.
And, since they worked in an area where she couldn't help but see them for long periods of time, and she said seeing him and his new girl laughing, talking, and smiling made her upset and she often left her post and went and smoked in areas she wasn't supposed to be in. Or, took more (or longer) breaks. She probably was heartbroken. Someone else she cared about abandoned her. And, his mom happened to be a "superior" at the job.
Now, my intuition had told me by then that she had a man or should've had a man, but she kept trying to tell me she didn't have any help. But, I KNEW she did. So, I didn't give her as much anymore (because she should've been on her feet by then anyway. For months, he basically had two full-time incomes, plus what her guy friends and supporters were giving her. PLUS, any other random donations that came in.)
In addition to that, I saw online that people were helping her find places to stay, telling her about shelters and other resources, and sending her donations, but she didn't trust it and/or denied that anyone tried to help her. Some of her followers got angry and turned on her. Some of them waited. And, whenever she went "live", those who needed her to know that they cared, would rage about all of the ways they tried to help her, and how she didn't follow-through.
Some of her former supporters and advocates have been triggered enough to post video after video, warning people about her and discussing her timeline and the status of her "scam". (That's what they are calling it. I'm not calling it that.)
She said they were lying and didn't really want to help her.
Now, stop for a minute.
This woman is 30 years old. She's wanting love, attention, encouragement, favors, and money from her subscribers. And, she'll pout, whine, cuss, cry, and blame everyone else for MOST of her problems in life. She'll warn people that her death will be on their hands if they don't help her, and (in so many words) call them un-Christian-like folks for watching her struggle and not trying to scramble-up any little bit of change they can find for her lunch, dinner, gas, or personal products.
She is REALLY convinced that it is her subs and viewers' responsibility to make sure she has everything she needs. And, I've tried to tell her over and over again that no one is obligated to her, and that she isn't the only one struggling. They need THEIR MONEY just as much as she needs hers.
She wasn't trying to hear that shit. lol...
By this time, I'm starting to wonder if this broad is on crack!
Those lips were turning dark and "purple" as hell. Maybe she wasn't smoking crack... But, her ass was definitely smoking weed!
I said, "This damn raggedy-rascal is spending all of her money up buying weed. No wonder she can't make any progress! She don't have the stamina. She can't help herself from smoking all of that weed. No wonder she don't half go to work and can't get over the hump."
THOSE LIPS WERE DAMN PURPLE AS HELL!
That girl was smoking good...
At first, I was ticked-off.
But, she was also dealing with a lot by being on the streets, the cold, her safety, and struggling and running from predators and sex-traffickers.
That's some boolshit.
She's always online talking about how she has - and "is" - "putting in the work", and her ass can't stack enough cheese to pay off a $3000 debt in 5 years?
She's not doing something right.
(I'm speaking in the present-tense, but this was in 2024.)
AND, SHE IS GETTING TWO FULL-TIME INCOMES - One of which was in donations, so all of that money was probably tax-free.
So, what in the world is going on???
She keeps talking about enrolling in college and about how smart she was in school, but that girl ain't gonna smoke no weed and then sit in a classroom for an hour and get something out of it. Come on, now... I don't care if the weed she's smoking is CBD, THC - A, or Delta 8, or Indica. Whatever you call that "bap" - as weak as it is - it's still going to be a "distraction"... She'll be chasing a high before she'll chase them books.
But, the bottom line is: I KNEW I would NOT be a good friend for this lady, because I AM an "enabler". I AM a pushover. I AM a people-pleaser sometimes. And, sometimes, I feel like I'm "bad luck". So, I tried to distance myself from her, so I wouldn't lead her on the wrong path or contribute to her downfall.
I was honest and told her this. But, I made NO COMMENTS ABOUT HER LIFESTYLE, DECISION-MAKING, OR HABITS.
But, the more I told her I couldn't talk to her on the phone or help her out, the more she texted and called. At one point, she called almost everyday - and didn't ask for anything.
And then, there were other times, when she called and sounded desperate for someone (anyone) to talk to.
We always have a few good things to talk about before she starts going off about the trolls and haters on her platform, or how her family is watching her suffer, or how people are attracted to her energy but won't help her, support her, or give her money like they do other people...
I said, "Lord, please help me. Help this poor dumb dizzy broad so she can stop calling me and whining about this shit every time I get on the phone. Dzam!"
She drives me crazy with that shit.
I kept telling her: "I feel bad about what happened to you, but you need to find other things to talk about if you really want to make friends and build your channel."
Then she'll FLIP IT, and go off!
"ALL Y'ALL CARE ABOUT IS YOUTUBE. Y'ALL DON'T CARE ABOUT ME! Y'ALL DON'T DEFEND ME WHEN THE HATERS AND TROLLS ATTACK ME IN THE COMMENTS! Y'ALL AIN'T OUT HERE IN THE STREETS LIKE ME. I STAY TEN TOES DOWN AND PUT IN THE WORK. AND, Y'ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND." blah, blah, blah...
Five minutes later, she's asking me for ideas that will help her get more "supporters" and views on her YouTube channel.
"If you don't git'cho raggedy-crazy-ass off my damn phone..."
She's laughing. She thinks I'm playin'.
And then, I started noticing something about her: She's "childish".
One night, we were talking on the phone. (* She didn't go to work that night.) She was going on and on and on about how she was not getting the same kind of support and attention as other "homeless female YouTubers", and she went on and on and on. Then finally, I told her to stop whining and acting like a "spoiled brat".
She didn't hang-up on me, but she never let me forget I called her that.
Before I "snapped" (which I didn't), I kept telling her that she - and those other girls - were different. Stop comparing herself. Set a goal. Come up with a plan or strategy. Maybe people sympathize with them more, like them more, trust them more - I threw in a number of possibilities and so did she! But, she still stuck to her original beliefs: People only watch her to see her fail; People only support women with kids, sex-workers, drug addicts, and family members.
I suggested that she stop accusing all of her subscribers of hating on her because that - and the fact that she would cuss them out from time to time - probably contributed to her getting more haters.
She go on and on with these "old people" who would flag her posts and cause her to constantly get reprimanded or questioned by YouTube.
She was going back and forth with these jackasses so much, that that's what most of her latest videos were about before her You'Tube channel got cancelled: Arguing with people online.
Childish shit.
And, she STILL didn't understand why those other homeless girls were receiving so much more donations than her.
"Those girls cuss out their subscribers too!" She said.
"So! (What does that have to do with you! It's stupid!)"
** Now, I admit: A few times I suggested she capitalize off of them by continuing to go back and forth with them because people love drama, and she could use them to get paid. But, she DID say it was affecting her mental health, and that she couldn't deal with that everyday, so again, I said: "Don't listen to me. I'm just throwing suggestions out there." (Also, the reasons why I made these suggestions, is because she'd ask me for some ideas. And, she was arguing with these people on a regular basis anyway. So, that's another reason why I suggested "capitalizing off of the drama".
She didn't hear anything I said. She only kept telling me that I didn't understand.
And the next day, or a few days later, she would be back on the platform - fussin' and cussin' again.
And thus, so it is: They are engaged in battled til this very day - but, on TikTok.
Her channel got deleted by YouTube for the constant strikes and allegedly because she was talking about sex and being vulgar on her livestream. There was a record of comment in which a user said that HE was the reason she got kicked off of YouTube because he reported her for what she was saying on the livestream without the video being filtered for "age-appropriate audiences".
I saw one of those streams, and she WAS using the "p-word" a lot. And, she was doing all of this ranting and raving while in the presence of what she often refers to as a "predator". So, she had her toes right up to the line (that you're not supposed to cross), and found out the hard way that YouTube ain't boolshittin'.
She didn't stand on anything she said.
As a matter of fact, you will see her in a lot of videos talking about how men are predators. But, that doesn't stop her from calling them, stopping them on the street or at a gas station, or at a restaurant or store, to ask for their opinion about her life.
She's not a bad girl. She's stuck in time. Maybe a little vain.
I can see that she REALLY wants attention and validation. Maybe she's still living her childhood and believes she is still living in that same time period. She hasn't seen these people in years, and all she talks about is how they did her wrong and how she is going to prove to them, and everyone else, that she is going to be successful without anyone's help.
I don't think she really understands what "Self-Made" means. I think she really believes that she has do EVERYTHING herself.
But, even more importantly: I really believes she needs "closure". I didn't believe in that in the past, until I saw my own family again after over 15 years. It was a bit of a shock, to be honest. They all looked fat and aged, so I can imagine what I look like. Furthermore, many of the things that were still on my mind from 2009 wasn't on anyone else's mind in 2024. Some people were dead. Some people were locked up. And, many are so busy with their lives, children, hustles, and all of this technology and information and temptations being thrown at them that they don't know what I'm talking about. It's like I went through a "time-warp" and rejoined them in another time period.
I think she needs to feel that. But, who knows... After going on a rampage and telling all of her family secrets, she may be too embarrassed to go back.
She has a tragic and sad "sob story" for anyone who'll listen. And, I understand she has went through a lot. But, she can't make anything of "all this work she's puttin' in" if she can't move on mentally. She's just going to keep going around in circles for another ten or twenty years until she has to be given UBI (Universal Basic Income) - which half of us will probably be living on in the near future.
Anyway...
I had given up. I couldn't give her any advice, and I refused to give her my opinions on her life and situation.
The only thing I could do for her was to give her a few dollars here and there, but that wasn't helping either.
She is hardheaded and stubborn as hell (she thinks she knows everything), but I think it's because "Her Way" is working to according to her agenda. She is learning the app and how people behave and respond, and she is using these things to get them to send her money.
Now, I'm not saying she is a scammer or con artist. I have seen her post her GoFundMe page to try and raise money, and although she didn't get anywhere near the amount she requested, she got quite a few offers from people who asked for her Cashapp tag.
I pointed it out to her that SOME people were trying to help her, but she said they were "cappin'" and only saying that to get attention on her platform.
lol... They called her "ungrateful" also.
I told you: All of them are "jackasses". Her and all the rest of those grown-ass fools going back and forth - picking at each other like "chaps". That's how you know we're all on the verge of going to hell in a handbasket soon. This planet can't take much more of this foolishness and "negative energy".
But, what am I saying?
There are people out there who are greedy selfish time-wasters who don't mind ruining your life or the next man or woman's life. I wasn't sure what these people were called, but after dealing with this broad, I think I know exactly what's wrong with her... She's a Psychopath - And, worse than a "singing siren" (she's a whiney siren) who will cuss your ass out if you don't give her any money. lol...
I'm not saying it's a bad thing. All Psychopaths aren't killers or evil people (Examples: Bird, Jordan, Kobe; killer instincts). But, it may be a bad thing in this case, because she has, and will, take risky shortcuts that may put her in a bigger bind than she already is.
It's like: You don't wanna get involved. But, at the same time, you hate to see someone "you feel like you know" struggle.
Could she be "running" game??? It's possible.
She's kind of like "family" or a "complacent partner" who thinks you are SUPPOSED to jump-in and bail them out of any trouble they get into or give them whatever they need whether you can afford to do it not. "Family Priviledge".
Seriously, she thinks her needs are her subscribers' responsibility. She doesn't want to hear any excuses even though she sometimes says that she understands if people can't donate, she still accuse them of having "no sympathy for a young black woman."
Girl, please... Don't nobody wanna hear that gaslighting B.S.
And, she has no love, appreciation, gratitude, or thanks for anyone who doesn't listen and agree with her, or help her argue with other viewers.
Sometimes, she may seem like a scammer, but I don't think she is. I DO know she has been lying to the public about her situation and that she wasted a lot of time and money and when the guy at the post office kicked her to the curb, she made up somes lies about him (according to what she told me at first).
Other than that, to be honest, I had to get over the guilt-tripping and other mind games she played in order to get out of her predatory clutches.
She was calling and texting me like crazy. I don't even know if the messages are safe to read or even post because she accused me of "willing to let her die in the streets". I said, "WAHT???"
She was talking about Suicide and shit. Trying everything in the book to get me to respond to her. But, she forgot and I remembered that she was online talking about this "too hard" and asking for donations at the same time! I said to myself: "Now, why do you keep asking for money to pay your phone bill, storage, and gas for doing deliveries, if you're planning to go to Heaven???
I made the "mistake" of picking up the phone...
She was happy at first...
Then, she started that boolshit. "Y'all this, and y'all that" and "None of y'all subscribers no what it's like to be without any support."
That chick was "going in" on me! She even said I NEVER tried to help her!
She didn't like my opinions and advice. We couldn't see eye-to-eye about her social media career and issues. And, now, I was "NO HELP" - and, had NEVER been any help to her. ??? Okay...
Go back and look at any of her videos and you will see that she has NEVER acknowledged getting help. She don't even see her "Blessings from God" as enough help. But, she's got the nerve to talk about how she is a Christian or Spiritual woman who reads her bible and believes God is going to help her one day.
Yeah... probably when your little lyin' ass get off that weed.
And, once you see past the games for sympathy, you'll start to hear all of the egocentric statements and bragging she does about herself. That's the other thing that makes this so bad: She's on video talking all that shit, and she ain't done nothing except pimp a bunch simps out of their hard-earned cash.
I know I sound bitter. But, I have nothing to be bitter about. I act this way when people bring up the Carolina Panthers too. Ain't no need in me watching them or the Charlotte Hornets. They break my heart almost every time... And, I KNOW they could do better!
Same thing.
I may call her again one day. But, for now, I'm just gonna keep rooting from the sidelines. That girl has got too much game, and will clean a scrub, like me, out.
Maybe one day, I might be a Big Baller and someone's SugarDaddy. But, for now, all I can do with my half-blind broke ass is sit back, relax, enjoy The Good Life... and, The Hoodrat Lifestyle.
- loveqna
