Is Your Mate Getting On Your Damn Nerves? Maybe The Lord Is Testing You.

Good Gracious...

I can't believe what I just heard (a few hours ago). I tried to let it ride and forget about it... but, I can't.

I can't because I'm at the point where I'm sick and tired of doing stuff to help people - including sacrificing my peace of mind - and they don't appreciate it. They just keep on begging and scheming to get more and more out of you. Or, they don't follow-through when you put your trust in them to do something.

When you need help - and, I'm not just talking about bringing me sandwich or glass of water from the kitchen - the person can't do anything for you, or won't do anything to help you. You can't depend on him or her for anything.

So, I was just waking up from a power-nap when the phone rang. It was one of my Ex's friends or relatives and she was saying something about how she was pissed at her parents because they wouldn't allow one of her homeless friends to spend an EXTRA night with her in THEIR house. She was trying to explain to the girl how she needed to help herself first, but the dumb broad wouldn't listen... And then my Ex exploded. She flipped out on the girl. I didn't catch all of what she said, BUT...

I DID hear her say that she "has to put up with someone else's bullshit in order for her and her girls to have a place to stay."

What??? You're interrupting my flow and my peace of mind, and you have to put up with MY bullshit???

No the hell you don't...

I didn't ask her to come here. I didn't ask her to come BACK here. She had her own place both times. It was also her idea to quit her job. And now she's been milking me out of my hard-earned money for the last 3 and a half years. Hasn't worked anywhere and suckin' up all of my resources.

I don't get to sit around the house and watch TV all day, or have my friends come over and chill, or just jump in cars with my buddies and ride off to stores, restaurants, or chill over their house. I have to work out in the rain, sleet, snow, cold, heat, and move and stack thousands of pounds of crap with my bare hands. And then, I have to come home and fix shit that they tear up.

I have to listen to people - who don't know how to do my job and who have NEVER done my job - try and tell me HOW to do my job. Almost everyday. And then, I have to come home and listen to her crap about what I need to do, and she can't even manage her own life.

She won't even roll the garbage can or recycle can to the curb.

"That's YOUR job. I don't take out trash."

If I'm not there to get it, she'll make the sixteen year-old take it out. All those times she'll run to her friend's cars or family member's cars; She could pass that garbage can a hundred times, and she still won't roll it back from the curb to the house or from the house to the curb.

What the hell???

Ooooh... So, you're too cute to take out trash, huh???

She is one of the most sorriest rascals I've ever met in my life. Have you ever in your life ever met anyone that damn sorry?

Then, every time something goes wrong, they call you to come and fix the problem.

Tearing up every damn thing in the house: the blinds, the carpet, the dryer, everything... And who's gotta pay for it??? That's right: you (or, in this case: me).

Lord, help me...

Do you hate being falsely accused of dumb sh*t?

Do you try to avoid listening to people yap about crap you don't care about, but you can't avoid them because they live in the same bed with you?

She's yappin' all the time (that's why I'm glad she's got a lot of friends) and sometimes she won't leave me alone when I need to take a break - or, when I come in from a hard day of work.

"I need to get..."

"We need a..."

"I need a Lyft to go to..."

"I need money to buy..."

"____ needs money for..."

"Can you go to the store and get..." (She won't call me tell me while I'm already out. She waits until I get home, and then want's me to go back out.)

"We need toilet paper."

Oh My God... The needing-ness folks in the world.

But, it doesn't just stop there. Some mates or Exes or partners are just agitators. They always look for the opportunity to start trouble.

In my defense, that's the main reason I don't like talking to her. But, a lot of the times, I don't even respond. I just act like she's not even here. I think about other things, and eventually, she goes away.

Be aware and realize that some people are (or try to be sadistic) and play mind games AND childish games to get you worked up. Don't just blurt out a response when he or she is trying to get a "rise" out of you with trap questions or sarcasm or by trying to twist your words. Just ignore it or if you need to speak the truth, be cool, be calm, be careful.

A couple of days ago, she tried to come out of left-field by accusing me of having an interest in her one of her friends...

"I want to know why you keep mentioning my friends name. Why are you so concerned about her?? What is this fascination you have with her???"

Her friend is attractive but, she has a lot of issues and baggage too. And, I have no interest in either one of these women. I don't care how pretty a woman is, your peace of mind is worth a lot more. If you're a woman, don't ruin your life and waste your time on a man who can only bring a pretty face to the relationship. If he can't manage a household or his own life, what good is he going to be to you? If a man or woman is full of foolishness, childish boolshit, and games, what benefit can he or she bring to your life?

I get sick of it.

Oh my God, why do I always get falsely accused, misjudged, and misconstrued?

We're not even together and I have to defend myself against outlandish false accusations.

Do friends or family or your partner ever tries to guilt-trip you?

Don't dig the hole any deeper by trying to prove your innocence or cater to an unreasonable request. Just say "no" or walk away and don't say anything at all. They won't let you get off so easy, but keep ignoring them until you feel comfortable enough to say, flat-out, "NO".

Example: "Nope. I'm not listening to the bullshit. I don't care what you say, I'm not responding - unless you want to hear me say: No. I'm not responding to the bullshit."

But, she'll flip-out anyway about anything...

"I'm not cooking anymore, because I made this turkey and greens, and no is eating it!"

Turkey and greens?

She's going crazy over some damn turkey and greens???

It ain't even a complete meal! I had to hunt down some bread just to give the bird the dignity to be called a turkey sandwich!

She already knew - before she cooked - I told her I was trying to eat healthier and that I was going to eat a salad. She knew I started this new health diet three or four days prior to this turkey meal, so she's the one who's trippin'.

And, why in the world would you think a twelve year-old and a sixteen year old - both girls - would want a plate of turkey and greens for dinner-time??? What in the world... come on, man.

I know the twelve year-old grabbed a pack of ramen noodles and hot sauce. I saw the sixteen year-old head for the fridge, and just to keep the peace, I put plenty of turkey and greens on my plate.

Sometimes, you have to make small sacrifices to help other people enjoy a little bit of the good life.

Or, as people in successful marriages would say: You gotta' keep Mama happy - because, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

But, Mama has got to able to manage a household too. She's got to be able to budget, save, keep an eye on utility costs, and restrict unnecessary spending. She's got to help with research on sales, good quality products, and planning expenses.

But, Mama don't believe in that.

A million dollars wouldn't last 30 seconds around this chick. She doesn't have a budget. She has to ride to the grocery store 3 or 4 times a week to get what she needs or wants because she doesn't want to create a list.

She loves spending money on the top-choice highest quality items that she really can't afford. Way out of her lane.

And, almost everything I've asked her to do, she has done the opposite. Irrational and won't listen to reason or to my requests.

If you're going through a bunch of foolishness with a companion, partner, lover, or mate, just focus on keeping your sanity and composure. Think about ways you could respond to the BS. Consider developing or improving your Leadership Skills.

Maybe this test in life is to make you more assertive. Or, to help you understand certain types of people. Or, maybe it's to help you develop better communication and people skills.

Whatever the case may be, you are definitely being prepared to deal with bullshit a lot better.

Your ability to read people may be getting a lot better these days as well due to your life experiences.

Don't think too negative because you don't want to walk around with a head of negative thoughts.

Think about what you can do to change or improve your situation.

What can YOU do different to move the situation in your favor? What do you need?

More patience? Speaking up for yourself? Being more assertive? Being more prepared with your responses? Empathizing? More communication?

I'm not totally sure of what I can change without giving up the things I value. And, that may be my test. A challenge for me to get myself out of this situation unscathed.

Your situation is the same.

Now, I'm not suggesting you break-up or leave your mate. I'm saying that you may have to "step up your game" to improve the quality of life in your relationship and home.

Improving your social and communication skills could be your test. And, it will help in business.

Improving your financial management skills could be your test.

Learning how to negotiate better could be your test. Whatever.

Stress will come, but don't let yourself get too frustrated. Be creative. Think: How are you being tested - or, in what way are you being tested, and what can you do about it?

How can you respond and change this situation to suit you?

Loveqna

How Missing Man's Family Finds Him Alive 23 Years Later

Video provided by: ABC News

It's A Lie: You Don't Need A Boss On Your Side For Inspiration

The saying: "Teamwork Makes The Dream Work," is without a doubt a truism. The Golden State Warriors dominance over Lebron James proves that. The Patriot's Tom Brady and Coach Bill Belichick's professional chemistry proves it. Teamwork DOES indeed make the dream work.

But...

You don't have to wait until you find a teammate before you start striving for success. Men shouldn't depend on a woman for motivation anymore than a woman should depend on a man for inspiration.

If you're not inspired or motivated, it may be because you're limiting yourself. It may be that you're not sure if you're on the right path and you're subconsciously afraid to invest too much into your idea or plans.

If you're not sure about how to start, surf the web for how to get started on your dream.

And, if you're not sure you want to pursue the idea or "Interest" or business you have in your head, then go to school for Business Administration. Go to school for Business Management.

With Business Management, you can open the doors to a lot of leadership and financial opportunities.

If you don't want to spend a lot of money, look for free and low-cost courses online.Or, sign-up for a community college certification program or something.

If you're considering starting a business or buying a business or real estate, know that a lawyer you can trust would be prime member of Your Team. Research, find a few good ones to interview, and hang on to their numbers, so you'll have that resource ready.

A lawyer will also come in handy if you're an Artist of some sort.

If you're broke as hell and can't save money in your present situation, look for a roommate, keep your Major Goals in mind, and stack (save) your money so you'll have more options in the future.

Don't make this a permanent situation - stack, build your credit, DON'T make a major purchase on credit like a car (unless you absolutely need it) before you start buying a home because they always look at your income-to-debt ratio. And, income-to-debt ratio is more critical when buying a condo or townhouse or single-family home than it is when buying a car.

A home is an asset and good debt. It can grow in value.

A car is a depreciating asset and is bad debt (unless you're using it to make money). Still, it will decrease in value and is considered by many financial analysts just another major liability.

Don't try to make the excuse that the car will some day be a classic, because no lie you could tell yourself could justify the price of most of these cars these days.

If you're going to find an apartment - or you make a hell of a lot of money, then you may not have to worry about debt-to-income ratio, but you can set yourself up for long-term success and properly plan your moves when you sit down and learn about credit and finances first. Manage your money.

Stay focused on Managing Your Life. Don't waste money. Get the right tools for job. Pay for value. Research before you shop. Spend Wisely. Share Wisely. Don't flaunt your money as you will want to show-off how you can afford to waste money on crap. Learn to parlay with credit, money, assets, equity, loans, etc. Use coupons and cash-back resources. Stop impulsively spending. Order food, snacks, and other good stuff online.

Some people are often sick and need to run to the hospital. Be on top of your game when it comes to your health. Hospital bills are expensive and you don't need them eating up your bank account or putting bad debt information on your credit report - for those of you who go to hospitals then, later on, refuse to pay for services.

If you can stay with Mom and Dad or Grandma or some other relative until you get on your feet, then do it. Stay with them and stack. Play by their rules until you can get your credit up to par and move out. But, keep moving up. Build your credit, get a raise or a higher paying job, and keep going from there.

And, don't be afraid of growth. If you have the opportunity to become a supervisor, go for it. You're going to have to deal with bullshit no matter what level you're on anyway. But, if you have the mental capacity, experience, skills, and stamina to move to management, stop running with the little dogs and be a Boss.

Save money by getting your work clothes and even play clothes from a thrift store or second-hand store. You can get more for your money and save some serious cash. Get your socks and underwear online at good bargains.

Stay away from ordering too much fast-food online. That can be addictive and expensive because of the delivery fee and tip. But, you can find a lot of promo codes too. But, be ready to be pissed off as well because sometimes they take longer than expected. Sometimes, they don't have your order right.

Don't waste a lot of money on "business ideas" or "personal development" media. The key to your success is attitude. You might be one of those people who have read many books and watched hundreds of videos and attended workshops and seminars. If you are, then you already know what to do to succeed. Now, all you need to do is have the courage to do it.

Don't waste a lot of money on other people.

There are some people who beg you to death for money. And, out of the kindness of your heart you will help them. At some point you just have to start saying "No."

The 21st Century is a great time to live in. Find a bank. Get a debit card. Carry minimal cash. When the beggars come running, you can let them know you are limited on cash and don't have a dime to spare.

As long as you let them, people will take advantage of your good heart. Don't be a fool and support someone who is a fool with his or her own money. It's okay to give, but don't be a fool for someone who sees you as nothing more than an easy target for cash. In the end, you're not helping yourself or them.

No matter what, pay your bills early or on time. This will always be a plus on your credit report and give you an advantage when you want to buy a house or get a loan to start (or buy) a business.

Practice moderation of any "bad habits" or "activities".

I won't name any bad habits because that's up to you to do decide what you see as a distraction or disruption in your life that is holding you back or keeping you from stacking.

My Mom and Dad never mentioned anything about personal finances, or investing, or how to bargain and negotiate, so I was literally a helpful dumbass in my early relationships.

I was always looking for that Boss Chick for inspiration because I've often heard of some of the greatest artists have a muse or a good woman behind them to keep them on track and to help them become successful. But, it's a lie.

Everyone doesn't need a romantic co-pilot in the background helping them manage their life and keeping them focused.

Sometimes, people end up with a partner who is in the background stabbing them in the back, worrying them half to damn death, cleaning out their bank account, and trying to work them to death.

Sometimes, you need to be by yourself and "travel light" so that you can maneuver more easily and not have a lot of drama and foolishness in your life.

Write down your goals. Post them on your wall. Work towards completion. And, don't deviate or allow yourself to be taken off-track.

Later on, when the right Boss comes along, you will be ready. And, when you get together, you will have a True Player on your side.

And only a Power Couple who lives and breathes the same values, principles, beliefs, and life goals, can be true assets to the Team. Only then can "Teamwork Make The Dream Work".

Loveqna

Warning! 2019: The Meek And The Homeless Are Inheriting The Earth!

When the Lord said the meek shall inherit the earth, I didn't know MY place would be included in the deal...

Last year, I got a shock when I came home while on my lunch break to find that my Ex had "invaded" my home and was in here cleaning and cooking and chillin'. Now, she has "invited" a relative AND Her Two Kids to live with "US"(?) for a while.

What kind of damn shit is this amiss???

People these days are crazy azz hell...

The woman actually has mail coming here. I found all of this out when I was awakened by her kids crying and my Ex's dogs barking. I overheard them whining about how it's so hard to get help from social services and how that some of the people who answer the phones don't seem to care, and blah, blah, blah.

* I asked them months ago to pull her credit report and start building her credit so that she could stop depending on these "hand-outs" and going through this drama (it's her; it's not these other people), but they STILL haven't brought any of that information to light. They are still talking about the same thing: She can't get any help finding a place.

Lord, these hoodrats are gonna drive me crazy.

Who in the world has the gall - when they're homeless - to invite another homeless person into someone else's home???

I want my Ex to go back to her home. She had a place when she left. All she had to do was move the rest of her stuff into it.

I think she stayed there for a couple of days (if that) and then hauled her junk right back over here. I was so ticked off, I worked a double shift. I went in at 2pm that day and left 10am the next day. I was doing everything I could not to go home ever again.

But, anyway... Damn, I got waaay off-track...

So, anyway... I get up (because I'm about to put a stop to this whining and blaming everybody boolshit), and I go in there and shut the conversation down. I ask my Ex to grab her computer... I talk to her and ask her what is trying to do, and what does she want. She explains...

Now, I don't know how long this has been going on with the lady having mail delivered here, but I found out because they asked me to help her with her credit so that she can find a place to live.

We set-up a credit monitoring account with Credit Sesame. For some strange reason, the Credit Karma website was down. But, it didn't matter, I just wanted her to see her credit scores. We would go to the Official Credit Bureau sites later.

So, after we get the scores, I let her know that she has a strong chance of qualifying for an FHA Loan for first-time home-buyers. The minimum credit score requirement for the program was 580, and she was above 600. There are other FHA loan services/programs, but I wanted her to check this out. We talked about NACA also.

Then, I take her to an online bank that has a no-fee "interesting" checking account. We also add a savings. There is no minimum deposit for required for either. But, she needs the checking account in order to get in the "game".

For most banks you need a checking account to get a credit card - which she will also need to boost her credit score. The higher the score the lower the interest on the home loan, so you save more money and get more for your dollars.

Anyway, while setting up the checking account, the website field to enter the address came up. So, I ask her for her address, and she starts giving me MY address! What the hell??? And, then, my Ex says, "Well, I've been letting her use this address because she doesn't have a physical address she can put down." (I knew something was going on when they started giving me my mail before I could get to the mailbox myself.)

Okay. I enter in my address and all the other info.

We move on to Paypal so she can receive money if she needs help. But, she has a job. She just doesn't spend wisely. I've seen her in action, and it's pitiful.

Anyway, we're all in there talking about credit and teamwork in relationships (and they're not focused), and I barely catch it, but she says something like: Well, just put your work clothes in the laundry room, and I can wash them everyday when you get off of work.

And, another time, she asks about where the girl's boyfriend is going to be staying. So now... I know I'm not trippin', but I thought I told this chick I come from a history of over-crowded houses and I was sick of it. I know I told her I don't want to ever live like that again with 7 or 8 people living in a small house built for a single family.

But, she doesn't listen.

She don't care.

Whatever I say, it goes in one ear and out the damn other.

Four months after she moved in, her brother, his wife, and their baby crashed here for Thanksgiving.

FOUR TWO AND A HALF WEEKS! lololol...

What the Hell?

Then, he was talking about how he was sending the family back and how he was going to stay here and look for a job, and get his place.

I said, "Oh hell naw. You're welcome to stay in Charlotte, but your ass ain't about to stay here."

Trying to run that lame-ass game on me on the low. Do you know what I'm saying? He tried to sneak his intentions by me in a casual conversation.

I knew what was up when he actually let them travel back up North alone and he stayed and "hung around" for a few days... On the third day, I told him he had to bounce. His sister and her kids were already costing me an arm and a leg, and I couldn't afford to take on any more expenses - not even short term.

Their younger brother crashed on the couch off and on for few days for about two months at one point. He's a smart guy, but can't quite get it together mentally. He just can't seem to grasp the fact that he's no longer in high school (or perhaps middle school). I think he's fighting being a grown-up. Seriously.

Anyway, I'm going to help them all as much as I can, but I'm also going to help myself by finding a way out of this dump. I'm sick of it. If I had a larger 4 or 5 bedroom home it would be different. But here, toys are all over the floor, there are clothes in the living room, the kitchen, the hallway, everywhere.

Shoes all over the place.

Papers everywhere.

All these women are using so much toilet paper it's a damn shame. I'm always having to run to the store for big bundles of tissue paper.

Now, more dishes everywhere because they're in the living room yappin' loud as hell and watching TV and chillin' and not concerned about dirty dishes.

And, it's just people everywhere.

I'm sick of it.

I've been tempted to sell my home on OfferPad or Opendoor, but my house is in a prime location, and if I want to stay in this neighborhood, I'll have to pay a higher premium price. All of our homes have gone up in value over here. So, I'm not sure what to do.

If I stay, they'll ruin me.

If I leave, I'll have to move out of my neighborhood (and zip code for that matter) to be able to afford a new home.

I guess it's crunch time... I'm gonna have to step up my game before these people make me homeless.

Y'all pray for me. I'm goin' in.

Loveqna