Good Gracious...
I can't believe what I just heard (a few hours ago). I tried to let it ride and forget about it... but, I can't.
I can't because I'm at the point where I'm sick and tired of doing stuff to help people - including sacrificing my peace of mind - and they don't appreciate it. They just keep on begging and scheming to get more and more out of you. Or, they don't follow-through when you put your trust in them to do something.
When you need help - and, I'm not just talking about bringing me sandwich or glass of water from the kitchen - the person can't do anything for you, or won't do anything to help you. You can't depend on him or her for anything.
So, I was just waking up from a power-nap when the phone rang. It was one of my Ex's friends or relatives and she was saying something about how she was pissed at her parents because they wouldn't allow one of her homeless friends to spend an EXTRA night with her in THEIR house. She was trying to explain to the girl how she needed to help herself first, but the dumb broad wouldn't listen... And then my Ex exploded. She flipped out on the girl. I didn't catch all of what she said, BUT...
I DID hear her say that she "has to put up with someone else's bullshit in order for her and her girls to have a place to stay."
What??? You're interrupting my flow and my peace of mind, and you have to put up with MY bullshit???
No the hell you don't...
I didn't ask her to come here. I didn't ask her to come BACK here. She had her own place both times. It was also her idea to quit her job. And now she's been milking me out of my hard-earned money for the last 3 and a half years. Hasn't worked anywhere and suckin' up all of my resources.
I don't get to sit around the house and watch TV all day, or have my friends come over and chill, or just jump in cars with my buddies and ride off to stores, restaurants, or chill over their house. I have to work out in the rain, sleet, snow, cold, heat, and move and stack thousands of pounds of crap with my bare hands. And then, I have to come home and fix shit that they tear up.
I have to listen to people - who don't know how to do my job and who have NEVER done my job - try and tell me HOW to do my job. Almost everyday. And then, I have to come home and listen to her crap about what I need to do, and she can't even manage her own life.
She won't even roll the garbage can or recycle can to the curb.
"That's YOUR job. I don't take out trash."
If I'm not there to get it, she'll make the sixteen year-old take it out. All those times she'll run to her friend's cars or family member's cars; She could pass that garbage can a hundred times, and she still won't roll it back from the curb to the house or from the house to the curb.
What the hell???
Ooooh... So, you're too cute to take out trash, huh???
She is one of the most sorriest rascals I've ever met in my life. Have you ever in your life ever met anyone that damn sorry?
Then, every time something goes wrong, they call you to come and fix the problem.
Tearing up every damn thing in the house: the blinds, the carpet, the dryer, everything... And who's gotta pay for it??? That's right: you (or, in this case: me).
Lord, help me...
Do you hate being falsely accused of dumb sh*t?
Do you try to avoid listening to people yap about crap you don't care about, but you can't avoid them because they live in the same bed with you?
She's yappin' all the time (that's why I'm glad she's got a lot of friends) and sometimes she won't leave me alone when I need to take a break - or, when I come in from a hard day of work.
"I need to get..."
"We need a..."
"I need a Lyft to go to..."
"I need money to buy..."
"____ needs money for..."
"Can you go to the store and get..." (She won't call me tell me while I'm already out. She waits until I get home, and then want's me to go back out.)
"We need toilet paper."
Oh My God... The needing-ness folks in the world.
But, it doesn't just stop there. Some mates or Exes or partners are just agitators. They always look for the opportunity to start trouble.
In my defense, that's the main reason I don't like talking to her. But, a lot of the times, I don't even respond. I just act like she's not even here. I think about other things, and eventually, she goes away.
Be aware and realize that some people are (or try to be sadistic) and play mind games AND childish games to get you worked up. Don't just blurt out a response when he or she is trying to get a "rise" out of you with trap questions or sarcasm or by trying to twist your words. Just ignore it or if you need to speak the truth, be cool, be calm, be careful.
A couple of days ago, she tried to come out of left-field by accusing me of having an interest in her one of her friends...
"I want to know why you keep mentioning my friends name. Why are you so concerned about her?? What is this fascination you have with her???"
Her friend is attractive but, she has a lot of issues and baggage too. And, I have no interest in either one of these women. I don't care how pretty a woman is, your peace of mind is worth a lot more. If you're a woman, don't ruin your life and waste your time on a man who can only bring a pretty face to the relationship. If he can't manage a household or his own life, what good is he going to be to you? If a man or woman is full of foolishness, childish boolshit, and games, what benefit can he or she bring to your life?
I get sick of it.
Oh my God, why do I always get falsely accused, misjudged, and misconstrued?
We're not even together and I have to defend myself against outlandish false accusations.
Do friends or family or your partner ever tries to guilt-trip you?
Don't dig the hole any deeper by trying to prove your innocence or cater to an unreasonable request. Just say "no" or walk away and don't say anything at all. They won't let you get off so easy, but keep ignoring them until you feel comfortable enough to say, flat-out, "NO".
Example: "Nope. I'm not listening to the bullshit. I don't care what you say, I'm not responding - unless you want to hear me say: No. I'm not responding to the bullshit."
But, she'll flip-out anyway about anything...
"I'm not cooking anymore, because I made this turkey and greens, and no is eating it!"
Turkey and greens?
She's going crazy over some damn turkey and greens???
It ain't even a complete meal! I had to hunt down some bread just to give the bird the dignity to be called a turkey sandwich!
She already knew - before she cooked - I told her I was trying to eat healthier and that I was going to eat a salad. She knew I started this new health diet three or four days prior to this turkey meal, so she's the one who's trippin'.
And, why in the world would you think a twelve year-old and a sixteen year old - both girls - would want a plate of turkey and greens for dinner-time??? What in the world... come on, man.
I know the twelve year-old grabbed a pack of ramen noodles and hot sauce. I saw the sixteen year-old head for the fridge, and just to keep the peace, I put plenty of turkey and greens on my plate.
Sometimes, you have to make small sacrifices to help other people enjoy a little bit of the good life.
Or, as people in successful marriages would say: You gotta' keep Mama happy - because, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
But, Mama has got to able to manage a household too. She's got to be able to budget, save, keep an eye on utility costs, and restrict unnecessary spending. She's got to help with research on sales, good quality products, and planning expenses.
But, Mama don't believe in that.
A million dollars wouldn't last 30 seconds around this chick. She doesn't have a budget. She has to ride to the grocery store 3 or 4 times a week to get what she needs or wants because she doesn't want to create a list.
She loves spending money on the top-choice highest quality items that she really can't afford. Way out of her lane.
And, almost everything I've asked her to do, she has done the opposite. Irrational and won't listen to reason or to my requests.
If you're going through a bunch of foolishness with a companion, partner, lover, or mate, just focus on keeping your sanity and composure. Think about ways you could respond to the BS. Consider developing or improving your Leadership Skills.
Maybe this test in life is to make you more assertive. Or, to help you understand certain types of people. Or, maybe it's to help you develop better communication and people skills.
Whatever the case may be, you are definitely being prepared to deal with bullshit a lot better.
Your ability to read people may be getting a lot better these days as well due to your life experiences.
Don't think too negative because you don't want to walk around with a head of negative thoughts.
Think about what you can do to change or improve your situation.
What can YOU do different to move the situation in your favor? What do you need?
More patience? Speaking up for yourself? Being more assertive? Being more prepared with your responses? Empathizing? More communication?
I'm not totally sure of what I can change without giving up the things I value. And, that may be my test. A challenge for me to get myself out of this situation unscathed.
Your situation is the same.
Now, I'm not suggesting you break-up or leave your mate. I'm saying that you may have to "step up your game" to improve the quality of life in your relationship and home.
Improving your social and communication skills could be your test. And, it will help in business.
Improving your financial management skills could be your test.
Learning how to negotiate better could be your test. Whatever.
Stress will come, but don't let yourself get too frustrated. Be creative. Think: How are you being tested - or, in what way are you being tested, and what can you do about it?
How can you respond and change this situation to suit you?
Loveqna
I can't believe what I just heard (a few hours ago). I tried to let it ride and forget about it... but, I can't.
I can't because I'm at the point where I'm sick and tired of doing stuff to help people - including sacrificing my peace of mind - and they don't appreciate it. They just keep on begging and scheming to get more and more out of you. Or, they don't follow-through when you put your trust in them to do something.
When you need help - and, I'm not just talking about bringing me sandwich or glass of water from the kitchen - the person can't do anything for you, or won't do anything to help you. You can't depend on him or her for anything.
So, I was just waking up from a power-nap when the phone rang. It was one of my Ex's friends or relatives and she was saying something about how she was pissed at her parents because they wouldn't allow one of her homeless friends to spend an EXTRA night with her in THEIR house. She was trying to explain to the girl how she needed to help herself first, but the dumb broad wouldn't listen... And then my Ex exploded. She flipped out on the girl. I didn't catch all of what she said, BUT...
I DID hear her say that she "has to put up with someone else's bullshit in order for her and her girls to have a place to stay."
What??? You're interrupting my flow and my peace of mind, and you have to put up with MY bullshit???
No the hell you don't...
I didn't ask her to come here. I didn't ask her to come BACK here. She had her own place both times. It was also her idea to quit her job. And now she's been milking me out of my hard-earned money for the last 3 and a half years. Hasn't worked anywhere and suckin' up all of my resources.
I don't get to sit around the house and watch TV all day, or have my friends come over and chill, or just jump in cars with my buddies and ride off to stores, restaurants, or chill over their house. I have to work out in the rain, sleet, snow, cold, heat, and move and stack thousands of pounds of crap with my bare hands. And then, I have to come home and fix shit that they tear up.
I have to listen to people - who don't know how to do my job and who have NEVER done my job - try and tell me HOW to do my job. Almost everyday. And then, I have to come home and listen to her crap about what I need to do, and she can't even manage her own life.
She won't even roll the garbage can or recycle can to the curb.
"That's YOUR job. I don't take out trash."
If I'm not there to get it, she'll make the sixteen year-old take it out. All those times she'll run to her friend's cars or family member's cars; She could pass that garbage can a hundred times, and she still won't roll it back from the curb to the house or from the house to the curb.
What the hell???
Ooooh... So, you're too cute to take out trash, huh???
She is one of the most sorriest rascals I've ever met in my life. Have you ever in your life ever met anyone that damn sorry?
Then, every time something goes wrong, they call you to come and fix the problem.
Tearing up every damn thing in the house: the blinds, the carpet, the dryer, everything... And who's gotta pay for it??? That's right: you (or, in this case: me).
Lord, help me...
Do you hate being falsely accused of dumb sh*t?
Do you try to avoid listening to people yap about crap you don't care about, but you can't avoid them because they live in the same bed with you?
She's yappin' all the time (that's why I'm glad she's got a lot of friends) and sometimes she won't leave me alone when I need to take a break - or, when I come in from a hard day of work.
"I need to get..."
"We need a..."
"I need a Lyft to go to..."
"I need money to buy..."
"____ needs money for..."
"Can you go to the store and get..." (She won't call me tell me while I'm already out. She waits until I get home, and then want's me to go back out.)
"We need toilet paper."
Oh My God... The needing-ness folks in the world.
But, it doesn't just stop there. Some mates or Exes or partners are just agitators. They always look for the opportunity to start trouble.
In my defense, that's the main reason I don't like talking to her. But, a lot of the times, I don't even respond. I just act like she's not even here. I think about other things, and eventually, she goes away.
Be aware and realize that some people are (or try to be sadistic) and play mind games AND childish games to get you worked up. Don't just blurt out a response when he or she is trying to get a "rise" out of you with trap questions or sarcasm or by trying to twist your words. Just ignore it or if you need to speak the truth, be cool, be calm, be careful.
A couple of days ago, she tried to come out of left-field by accusing me of having an interest in her one of her friends...
"I want to know why you keep mentioning my friends name. Why are you so concerned about her?? What is this fascination you have with her???"
Her friend is attractive but, she has a lot of issues and baggage too. And, I have no interest in either one of these women. I don't care how pretty a woman is, your peace of mind is worth a lot more. If you're a woman, don't ruin your life and waste your time on a man who can only bring a pretty face to the relationship. If he can't manage a household or his own life, what good is he going to be to you? If a man or woman is full of foolishness, childish boolshit, and games, what benefit can he or she bring to your life?
I get sick of it.
Oh my God, why do I always get falsely accused, misjudged, and misconstrued?
We're not even together and I have to defend myself against outlandish false accusations.
Do friends or family or your partner ever tries to guilt-trip you?
Don't dig the hole any deeper by trying to prove your innocence or cater to an unreasonable request. Just say "no" or walk away and don't say anything at all. They won't let you get off so easy, but keep ignoring them until you feel comfortable enough to say, flat-out, "NO".
Example: "Nope. I'm not listening to the bullshit. I don't care what you say, I'm not responding - unless you want to hear me say: No. I'm not responding to the bullshit."
But, she'll flip-out anyway about anything...
"I'm not cooking anymore, because I made this turkey and greens, and no is eating it!"
Turkey and greens?
She's going crazy over some damn turkey and greens???
It ain't even a complete meal! I had to hunt down some bread just to give the bird the dignity to be called a turkey sandwich!
She already knew - before she cooked - I told her I was trying to eat healthier and that I was going to eat a salad. She knew I started this new health diet three or four days prior to this turkey meal, so she's the one who's trippin'.
And, why in the world would you think a twelve year-old and a sixteen year old - both girls - would want a plate of turkey and greens for dinner-time??? What in the world... come on, man.
I know the twelve year-old grabbed a pack of ramen noodles and hot sauce. I saw the sixteen year-old head for the fridge, and just to keep the peace, I put plenty of turkey and greens on my plate.
Sometimes, you have to make small sacrifices to help other people enjoy a little bit of the good life.
Or, as people in successful marriages would say: You gotta' keep Mama happy - because, if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
But, Mama has got to able to manage a household too. She's got to be able to budget, save, keep an eye on utility costs, and restrict unnecessary spending. She's got to help with research on sales, good quality products, and planning expenses.
But, Mama don't believe in that.
A million dollars wouldn't last 30 seconds around this chick. She doesn't have a budget. She has to ride to the grocery store 3 or 4 times a week to get what she needs or wants because she doesn't want to create a list.
She loves spending money on the top-choice highest quality items that she really can't afford. Way out of her lane.
And, almost everything I've asked her to do, she has done the opposite. Irrational and won't listen to reason or to my requests.
If you're going through a bunch of foolishness with a companion, partner, lover, or mate, just focus on keeping your sanity and composure. Think about ways you could respond to the BS. Consider developing or improving your Leadership Skills.
Maybe this test in life is to make you more assertive. Or, to help you understand certain types of people. Or, maybe it's to help you develop better communication and people skills.
Whatever the case may be, you are definitely being prepared to deal with bullshit a lot better.
Your ability to read people may be getting a lot better these days as well due to your life experiences.
Don't think too negative because you don't want to walk around with a head of negative thoughts.
Think about what you can do to change or improve your situation.
What can YOU do different to move the situation in your favor? What do you need?
More patience? Speaking up for yourself? Being more assertive? Being more prepared with your responses? Empathizing? More communication?
I'm not totally sure of what I can change without giving up the things I value. And, that may be my test. A challenge for me to get myself out of this situation unscathed.
Your situation is the same.
Now, I'm not suggesting you break-up or leave your mate. I'm saying that you may have to "step up your game" to improve the quality of life in your relationship and home.
Improving your social and communication skills could be your test. And, it will help in business.
Improving your financial management skills could be your test.
Learning how to negotiate better could be your test. Whatever.
Stress will come, but don't let yourself get too frustrated. Be creative. Think: How are you being tested - or, in what way are you being tested, and what can you do about it?
How can you respond and change this situation to suit you?
Loveqna
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