Things You Never Hear People Talk About After A Toxic Relationship Break-Up

(September 21, 2020)

A while back, I posted an ABC news story about a guy who ran off and left his family. They thought he was dead... Until he was found 23 years later - remarried and "living it up" down in Florida. 

To this day, nobody really knows why he ran away from home. His wife said they had a great life - or so, she thought it was a great life until he abandoned them - but, I never found any kind of videos or articles that shared his side of the story. 

And, I know a lot of people would say: "There's no excuse for leaving your family and abandoning your kids!"

Well, let me say this...

You never know what kind of outlandish B.S. is going on in someone's relationship until you're walking in their shoes.

If you had to put up with some of the crap a lot of toxic couples go through with each other, you'd probably crack and run away from home too. It's better to do that than to make things worse.

Look at the all the tragic events and drama that goes on when people who are in a toxic relationship don't separate from each other:

- Murder

- Attempted Murder

- Domestic Violence

- False Accusations that lead to jail or prison time

- Family Shoot-outs

- Kidnapping

- Assault that leads to disfigurement

- Divorce

- A Family Member Getting Locked-Up For Conspiracy to Hire A Hitman

- Depression and Suicide

All kinds of foolishness...

I don't like seeing these tragic things happening to good people, who were at some point, a loving couple. And, that's why I don't believe anyone should stay in a relationship if they're unhappy or dealing with a lot of drama.

To be honest, there were times when I wished my ex just wouldn't come home. 

 Sometimes, I hoped that she was out "cheating" and had met a good guy and just would never come back. 

Sometimes, I wished she was in a tragic accident or sick as hell and was never coming back. 

Yeah, I know I should be ashamed of myself, but I want you to know how frustrated and depressed I was. I'm not a violent person, so all I could do was hope for "the best".

Man, I was so far gone, I was cussin' at myself while I was at work. Sometimes, I'd get to work and walk around for half an hour just thinking. Sometimes, the thought of her (or all of these people) being at my house chillin' while I was dealing with the B.S. at work ticked me off so much that I was just say, "DAMN!" I mean, the anger and stress would just pop into my mind out of nowhere. 

If you've ever had someone really close to you die, then you know about moments like that. You can't control it. You can be having a great day. And then, boom! Out of nowhere, the memory of your loved one just hits you. That's what I was going through all times of the day while dealing with this stressful situation. Except I was living smack dab in the middle of it. And, it was destroying me.

Sometimes, I felt like I was better off dead. For real. 

My friends and co-workers don't realize how deep my dilemma was and how it was affecting me. I know they got tired of me talking about it, but it was killing me inside.

I felt like she was trying to destroy me. I even told her that a couple of times. And, when she ignored me and didn't respond to what I was saying, it made it even worse. I felt like that was verification. 

Everything she said was about HER benefits. Her survival. Her and her family being able to live good and have a place to stay, while I struggled to keep my bills paid and perform well at work.

Two days ago, I was in the room, lying in bed watching the movie, "Predators", when she walked in and stood over me, "Mike, I have to tell you something... You're gonna be mad." 

I said to myself: "This stupid-ass." Because, I knew they had done something that didn't make any sense but, I kept watching the movie, and didn't even look her way. I was just sick of all the crap!

She stood there. Then, she asked if I was listening. I said yes, but really I didn't care what she had to say. I was moving anyway, so I didn't care about anything in the house anymore. Then, she said it again, "You might be mad... The knob on the dryer broke-off again." I kept watching my movie. 

She just stood there staring at me. I didn't particularly like the movie, but I never took my eyes off the screen. 

Then, she had the nerve to ask if I was going to order another one. I said, "Un-un."

Hell naw, I'm not ordering another one, so they can break it for a fourth time. Those switches cost around $90 a piece. What they're doing is damaging the knob and then using needle-nosed pliers to turn the switch. Then, when the switch wears down and they can no longer select the dryer settings they want, THEN they tell me the knob is broken and want me to order another one.

 AND the last time I bought a switch, I bought a bag of knobs also since they kept damaging them. They used more than half of them. I just didn't understand it. I've never seen anything like it in my life. And, I never had a problem with that dryer before they came there.

I was sick and tired of this chick. 

For real.

One morning, I woke-up to her and her friend arguing. She was pissed because her friend went hanging out until about two or three in the morning, and had left her kids there almost the entire day. She called her friend, but the girl lied and said she was on the way back to the house. She wouldn't pick-up the phone again after that.

So, they woke me up with that B.S. as they did almost every morning.

I was like, "Oh God, what the hell is it now?"

Then, I heard the oldest girl scream out, "Mama, Nooo!"

So, I jumped up and told her I was sick and tired of her causing drama every morning.

Before I could even say that, her friend said, "I'm calling the police!"

I was sick and tired of the police coming to my house (lol), so I said, "Nooo. Don't call the police. It's okay."

I turned back to my ex and asked her again, "Why is it that you have to always cause drama and antagonize everybody every morning when you wake-up???"

Then, the unthinkable came out of her mouth... This broad looked me dead in my face and told me to get out of the room.... 

??? For real???

Yeeeaaaahh... She really said that.

She looked me dead in my eyes and said, "Get out of here."

I said every room in this house is mine. You get out. Then, I said, "Nah. Don't worry about it. I know what I'm about to do."

She had crossed the line.

I called the last home investor that had been calling me and harassing me about selling my home and told her it was okay to send someone over to negotiate a deal.

That was actually around August 13th, 2020.

By this time, I was so stressed and sick of the B.S. at work, that I never went back. When her other friend with the 3 kids came over and was diagnosed with Covid-19, that gave me the opportunity I needed to sit at home and collect all of my personal time, vacation time, and two weeks of free Covid time. It was like a Miracle. My game was tight, and the Lord had done blessed me with the opportunity of a lifetime.

I even took a huge discount on the sale of my house. I could've gotten at least 30 to 40 thousand more than I settled for, but I really didn't care. I sold it to the investor and took the hit. 

They lied like hell too.

He said he could close in a couple of weeks, but it still took almost a month.

By this time, my house payment and credit cards were a month past due, thanks to that lying jackass real estate investor. I could've sold to someone else who could've closed sooner, but I signed a contract without an agent.

Anyway, she knew my bills were behind, but they didn't want me to shut-off the cable. She's so selfish, she kept trying to think of ways that I could negotiate with Spectrum to keep cable TV on. She even had the nerve to say, "It's better to be behind than to turn it off." I'm dead serious. She didn't care how much I was suffering or struggling.

And, the longer I left it on, the longer they all sat on their asses doing nothing except watching TV.

On the 10th of September, I told her that we needed to start looking for another place because I couldn't afford to stay in the house or pay my bills, and I needed to get some money to protect my credit. She didn't want to hear that. She wanted me to apply for unemployment, beg, or use the Pandemic as an excuse not to pay my bills. 

I told her that wouldn't help me. 

I said, "Without decent credit, we can't get another place after we leave. At least I can have some money and use my credit to help me get another place." But, I didn't mean we were leaving together!

She started asking me where WE were moving to and what storage facility I wanted to use for our stuff, but I told her she needed to start looking for her own place to live and store her belongings.

I had sold the house by then, and I told the investor the only way we could do business was if he gave me 30 days to leave after closing. That was ONLY way anybody could get this prime piece of real estate. 

So, I told her to start packing. But, she was more worried about getting a new charger for her iPad Pro than anything. And, since I was buying her oldest daughter a new iPhone, she ALSO wanted an iPhone - an iPhone 11 - because she claimed her current phone was not fully charging anymore. I really don't think they had the right chargers, but they assured me they did.

Anyway...

I was buying the eldest daughter a new phone because my ex's friend was using the phone, dropped it, and shattered the screen.

Neither my ex nor her friend offered to pay for the phone. Her friend got a stimulus check, bought a car, bought a laptop, bought weed, bought trinkets, shoes, and clothes for her own two kids, but didn't replace the girl's phone.

And nobody said a thing because the friend, my ex, and her daughter expected ME to replace it. I wanted to tell these fools about themselves, but I was too angry. And, I would've flipped the more I talked, so I told the girl I would buy her a new phone. That's when I was broke as hell, and had a house full of damn people living with me. I told her mom (my ex) about herself later after I calmed down. But, I took my time about getting a new phone. It took months to buy her another phone, and really, the only way I was able to buy it was because I sold my house.

I know it sounds extreme, but it was also the only way for me to get out of that situation. 

Lord, thank you for providing me with that investment. 

After the money was wired into my account, I paid my bills.

Then, I bought the two girls iPhone 8 pluses, and bought my ex the regular iPhone 11. 

Okay, you have a new cord, a new phone.... You can set your schedules, call movers, call apartment complexes or homeowners about rentals, etc... But, she still sat around watching TV and not doing anything. The only thing this chick packed was a damn box of jelly jars! 

I said: "What The Hell???"

Nine days passed and she was still sitting around looking at cable and yappin' on the phone. I had to tell her to start making a move, because I was not staying here. "I'm moving," I said. "You need to start looking for a storage facility or an apartment or something." Then, she called the girls in the room to try and guilt-trip me. "You need to tell them what's going on." I started talking, and before I could get a word out good, she started telling them I wanted to sell the house because I didn't want help with my mortgage even though she could help me get the help I needed to get the mortgage caught-up and blah, blah, blah. I didn't care what she was talking about. I didn't care how they felt either. None of them care about me going blind, or how hard I have to work, or about the bills going up, or about all the loud noise I have deal with when I was trying to get some sleep or work on my side hustle. 

She tried it, but I was like: "I don't care what you do with your lives or how you feel. bye." 

I didn't say this out loud. This is just what I was thinking.

She did this crap with everybody. She used and played her friends, family members, business associates, everybody. She's a manipulator. And, she was trying to guilt-trip me so that she could continue manipulate me. Pitiful. It was disgusting.

Ten days later. I had already given her $2,500.00 to open her a checking account, and told her to open up new accounts for the girls at $100.00 a piece (so they would have new accounts without my name on them). I was going to transfer the money they have in their current online bank accounts (that has my name on them) to their new bank accounts. Plus, I sent $200.00 to her Paypal account first until the $2,500.00 check cleared. Then, I sent another $100.00 to her. She blew through that $300 in a matter of days because she had been hanging out with the friend that tested positive for Covid.

So, she was just "ballin'" and "partying".

Then, one night, after she got home about 8pm, she claimed she was too tired to cook for her daughters, so she spent about $50 or $60 on pizza. So, the money only lasted several days. And, within a week, she was asking for money to go to the grocery store!

Now, you hung-out with your friend. You passed several stores. You had money. But, now you don't have money for a Lyft? And, now you need more money for groceries??? 

What kind of shit am I involved in?

That was then. Today 9/19/20, she needed money for boxes and totes for the move. Now, I already gave her $2,500.00, but here she was trying to play me. Okay, I really have to put some distance between us, so I gave her $120.00. I sent $180.00 but only because the older daughter is working now and needs money for transportation and food while at work. So, $60.00 is going to the older daughter. 

But then, she crossed the line again! This lady had the nerve to ask me about ordering her a Lyft to go and pick-up the totes and boxes!

I said you have a new phone and money in the bank, order your own lyft so that you don't have to call me or depend on me. She didn't want to do it! 

She said, "I don't want to give them my bank information with my money in there!"

I flipped. I said, "Set-up your own account." She wanted to argue about how she was worried about them getting her bank information again! 

I mean, she really sounded like a child. You should've been there. It was ridiculous.

I was irritated like hell from listening to that shit, but I responded, "Oh, but you don't mind them having all of my bank information to get You a Lyft to go back and forth to where you need to go? Get your own Lyft." 

I'm not trying to be mean. I've been trying to tell these girls to be smarter, independent, and more self-sufficient, and they just don't get it, nor do they want to get it. She just wants to be fucking leech. 

Ten or fifteen minutes later, she yelled out, "Okay, my Lyft is outside! I'll see you later!" 

I was sad I would have to see her later, but at least she had her own Lyft app and was going to get those boxes and tubs to move her stuff out. Now, I'm just worried because I know she is not going to get the right sizes and will probably go shopping for more stuff. I wouldn't be surprised if she came back with new shoes and outfits.

She just got back from Walmart - AND WALKED IN WITH A DAMN CROCK POT! 

I told you! I told you. 

I knew she wasn't going to get what she was supposed to get! I thought she was going to come back with some flip-flops or something, but she walked in with a whole brand new crock pot!

And then she had the nerve to tell me she needed an air mattress. She didn't get one. Instead, she came into the room and asked me if i would order one for her! I was ticked-off - especially about that crock pot - but I didn't say anything. I ordered the air mattress, and I also ordered dog food and dog treats because I thought the dogs were low in food. I didn't see her feeding them, so i thought they were out of food. 

They weren't. She was just neglecting them as usual (and that shit pissed me off too).

Later, after she got back, she went into the kitchen and gave them food after sitting around all day watching TV and yappin' on the phone, and going to Walmart. That's when I saw they still had over a half a bag of dry dog food. I was so frustrated. My life is just so stupid. I told her I ordered dog food and to watch out for it anyway.

A day later, after Amazon delivered the food, she came to the room to tell me only a box of moist dog food came and that I needed to order a big bag because the dogs were low on food. I just saw the fucking bag. Those little dogs still had plenty. I didn't see it at first and since she half-assed fed them, I thought they were low on food, but they were fine. I got ticked off and told her they would be okay. She stopped and looked at me and asked, "Until when??" 

"Until you buy them some more."

Damn! What in the hell kind of shit is this??? 

When I was at a cook-out with them, her brother warned me that she loved money and that she always tried to "get-over". I didn't know she had that much of a hard-on for it!

The next day (I had to stop blogging) on September 20th, she went to a home improvement store to get tubs and boxes, and I noticed tags and empty packages for (i think) jewelry, candles, beer, wine, etc. 

And she had the nerve to send me a link to Amazon to purchase an air mattress a day or two before! I told her she needed to get it, but she claimed she needed the money for moving and getting her a new place. 

The pimpin' just doesn't stop with this chick!

But I really wanted her gone so, I ordered it - anything to make sure she gets the hell out of my life. 

Today, 9/21, I got a notification from Amazon saying the package would be here this morning between 8am and 9:15am or something like that, and told her to be on the look-out for it. 

She started fussin', "I told you I needed two mattresses! A queen-size and a twin!" 

I told her she needed to get the other mattress herself. She started fussing about that. I mean, the chick really has an overbearing sense of entitlement. She thinks I'm supposed to keep spending MY money on her needs while she spends her money (money that I already gave her) on non-essentials and other junk. 

Then, i told her i just paid the bills off and, I wasn't going to run them up again. And anyway, she only sent me the link for ONE mattress! I showed her the email, and then, she couldn't do anything but shut-up and look goofy.

Earlier, this morning, she woke me up asking me for needle-nosed pliers so she could turn the dial on the dryer - instead of paying for a new knob to fix it. I started not to get up, but I don't care anymore. I have an appointment today to look at an apartment. When I get back, I'm calling Spectrum to see when is the cut-off billing date so I won't be charged for service next month. I'm only keeping the internet on because the youngest daughter needs it for school. And, she's basically like me: she really doesn't watch much TV.

I'm also shutting off the cable, because they are STILL SITTING AROUND WATCHING TV!

They are not looking for an apartment, a house, or moving anything! No lie. They are in there now watching a TV show about ghosts haunting hospitals and houses and shit.

This is crazy. But, this is the kind of crap that people go through when they're stuck in dumbass situations they can't easily get out of.

Do yourself a favor: Build your credit and keep it good; Stack some cash; Buy stock or investments that you can cash out in 15 days or less; Stay in contact with friends and relatives, but don't depend on them to help you; Once you see your relationship going downhill, don't go crazy. Keep your cool, be peaceful, but work on an "exit strategy". If you can separate peacefully (without animosity or grudges) the better it will be for both of you.

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You are welcome to share your opinion, suggestion, or personal story on Love.QnA. Most articles, interviews, videos, vlogs, stories, jokes, and documentaries can be found on various dating sites and YouTube sites here on the Internet. I focus on toxic relationships and relationship drama in order to turn the negatives of a relationship into positives. My main goal is to help others find a compatible partner/team player OR see the positives of being single and enjoying the single life.