How to get out of a girl's friend-zone

The first key to getting out of the "friend zone" is to avoid getting stuck in "the friend zone".

You'll laugh and enjoy this video, but, the tips in it aren't bad. Use your instincts and avoid setting yourself up to be rejected and cast into "the friend zone" forever and ever and ever and ever.



Video provided by - Linkinn9

- loveqna

15 Reasons Why Good Women End Up In "The Friend Zone"

Posted on Y!Answers.

why do men friend zone me?

I've been on a heap of dates since recently ( 4 months ago) becoming single. But every guy seems to call me after a few dates saying 'oh you're lovely but there is no spark, but we should be friends.'
I have no idea why this keeps happening.
I'm quite attractive and constantly have guys asking me out.. it just never seems to go far because of the lack of spark :S
How am I meant to show spark? I'm confident, I flirt.. So ready to give up now though.
Please help :( worried i'm just going to end up as a friend forever :(

loveqna Answer:

People get dumped into the "friend zone" for all types of reasons. So, there could be anything keeping you from making a connection.

You have to take a good look at yourself to discover what could be turning these guys off. It could be your personality, you style, your thinking, your appearance, your attitude, whatever.

Nevertheless, here's a small list of what might be putting you in the friend zone.

- choosing the wrong guys

- may seem too eager; over-zealous; over-excited; overbearing

- talk too much (especially about yourself or your life)

- or, talking too much about your Ex and your last relationship (after awhile, most men would think you're still in love with the guy since you're yappin' on and on about him)

- boring (don't talk enough; boring conversations; not carefree enough; no fun; maybe not shy but too conservative)

- attractive but no sex-appeal or style

- too aggressive or forward (guys may think you're a player - especially if you flirt too much or come on too strong)

- or, it could be that you're rushing, moving too fast, and seem desperate - give the man a chance to get to know you and build a connection with you; don't talk about marriage and/or hanging out all the time on the first date (he'll definitely "friend zone" you - unless he's lonely and desperate too)

- making too many demands early on can run a guy off as well

- appearance not attractive to the type of guys you're attracted to; cute face but not a cute (or sexy) body

- are you being misunderstood? it's possible you may appear to be high maintenance

- it's possible you might seem fake or pompous - that can be a turn-off (although, it's not as bad as these ill-mannered chicks with an attitude)

- if your attitude sucks or you have "delusions of grandeur" about yourself (an overblown ego), you'll lose a good man. A nice guy might stick around - if he's desperate enough

- maybe they believe you're too busy and don't have time for a commitment (so, they've moved on to court someone else)

- and don't forget "timing" (timing affects everything); if your game is off or if there are things going on in your life - baggage - that you need to address, this can have an impact romance, courtship, and how others perceive you

blah, blah, blah... blah, blah, blah...

First, take a good look at yourself - your style, your appearance, your personality, your conversation skills, the types of people you choose to date. Be aware of the overall package.

You don't have to be a "perfect ten", or be charismatic and/or flamboyant. You don't even have to have the sex-appeal of a Diva. But, class, style, a sexy attitude (with natural confidence), neatness, and a clean good-smelling fragrance goes a long way.

And, you know both men and women love eye-candy, so style and appearance counts for a lot. So, when you go out, dress with style.

Now, I'm not saying that you have to dress like a skank. But, you don't have to wear a ball gown either. Take some notes from those Southern Belles down in Georgia. I went down there and damn near lost my mind those women are so fine. Those "Georgia Peaches" make a simple pair of jeans and a tee shirt look heavenly. They wear clothes that fit and look like they just came off the rack. I mean, those women look superb women they go out in public to eat or to an event.

And you know men love a woman's hair so, make sure your hair is looking good and smelling good almost all the time. Turn him on and keep his nose buried in your scalp with that good smelling fragrance.

Make sure you have on just the right amount of makeup if you wear makeup.

Let the way you walk be sexy sometimes - especially in high heels. That catches a man's eye too. Men love high heel shoes so much that some men can't resist having a pair of their own.

Be sure your finger nails are looking cute and sexy. A woman with ugly crusty jacked-up fingernails gives people the impression she's broke, sloppy, and dirty. It's just like a man walking around in old-ass jacked-up shoes that are not work shoes - it looks like his feet stink and like he's dirty and sloppy as hell.

Don't go out on a date with those crusty the clown fingernails. Take it all off or put it all on.

Some men might "friend" you after they find out you have kids. But, some guys don't mind kids. I've dated chicks with kids before. So did Ashton Kutcher. So, kids aren't a deal-breaker all the time.

Get to know the guy upfront as friends and see how things go from there. Most women wouldn't want a new guy around their kids early in the relationship anyway.

If you have be put in the "friend zone" after sex, then it could be that you're boring in bed or not as (fresh-smelling) as you think you are.

If your game is lame in bed, take your time, get to know one person, and be open to experimenting and practice. Learn to take control and have fun. Especially if you're married or engaged. Keep the excitement flowing. Sexual chemistry is often a big deal in making a relationship work.

We all know guys and girls can stink down there. I don't care if you're circumcised or UN-circumcised, I've heard enough stories about smelly men and women that would make a billy goat puke and a baboon gag on a happy meal.

Sometimes, a man or woman needs to get into a tub and soak in warm bubble bath for an hour or two.

I love it.

Try some various techniques for keeping your "personal stuff" smelling fresh and clean until you find what works for you.

You don't have to douche but there's gotta be something out there that works! Something is better than nothing.

Those guys out there that's smelling like cheese and sewage don't have to douche either, but they definitely need something to kill all of that bacteria swarming around between their legs. There are plenty of over-the-counter drugs for those bums so they have no excuse to be smelling like old-ass rotten eggs.

And, wash them feet too! That'll help keep you out of the "friend zone" also.

Did you know that you can turn a man on just by having sexy feet???

I don't know what it is about women with pretty feet and toes but it drives some men crazy! They love it. Hell, I love pretty feet myself and I don't even have a foot fetish. Or, maybe I do and I'm in denial. Hell, I don't know but I know if you put your pretty feet in a man's lap and ask him if he could rub them and massage them for you, he won't say no. If he does, you definitely want to get that area of your life taken care of to get out of the friend zone.

Anyway... (I'm getting off track here. I was saving that stuff for another post.)

Anyway...

There could be any reason a man might put a woman in the "friend zone". But, if you're constantly being blown-off, rejected, and dumped into the "friend zone", stop and take a good long look at yourself - your overall package. More than likely, there's something you're ignoring - or, some "fault" or habit you need to work out.

Even if all of these guys can't see how good you are, it's because you're not radiating how good you are.

You'll have more success and opportunities if you step up your game and work on the overall package. That's a guarantee. And, the time to start improvement is right now.

- loveqna

Broken Heart Testimony: Mary - 2

Back To Broken Heart Testimony: Mary - 1

If you have experience in love and with break-ups, then I'm sure you know how to cure yourself of the drama and B.S. that one can encounter in some of these toxic relationships.

I published this testimony because I want other people - men, women, single mothers, single fathers, and the broken-hearted - to be inspired and to keep moving forward in life and not to give up due to the drama caused by a deceitful mate or unloving partner.

Don't let that drama keep you down. Keep on pressing forward and go on with your life!

......................................................

I received a testimony from a woman named "Mary" who went through a similar situation that my good friend, "Anastasia" went through.

Mary had been married for a almost ten years when she found out her husband was cheating on her with one of her friends.

The woman was one of her neighbors.

She saw the woman often because she passed the woman's house often on the way to the store and one day they started talking and just "clicked".

They both had children and other common interests, beliefs, and responsibilities, so they had a lot to talk about.

They began talking often.

She visited the woman sometimes. Sometimes, the woman visited her. Sometimes, they talked on the phone.

They laughed and joked and had a good time whenever they had conversations.

Now, she and her husband were charitable people and often helped out old folks by picking up food for them or cleaning their house or cutting their lawns. Sometimes, they just went by these elders' homes and chatted with them for a while just to keep them company.

Well, she went to go visit one of these old folks and give her a ride to the store and while she's there, her husband and her "friend" walks in - hand in hand.

She was shocked.

And, speechless.

She couldn't believe her eyes.

She thought her husband loved her. She thought this woman was a true friend who respected her. And, she just couldn't believe what she was seeing.

She said she was too broken-hearted to flip-out. She said her mind just went blank. And, she was in something WORSE than a daze or confusion.

She was in love, but she wanted her husband to go. She had been traumatized and couldn't deal with the pain.

She loved this dude and cried day and night because of what he and her "friend" had done. She cried day and night because they had deceived her and made her feel violated.

Then, that sorry rascal had the nerve to keep going back to the house to apologize and to sweet-talk her - torturing her heart more and more. And, he was still with the other woman!

He even wanted "Mary" to be his "chick on the side".

She couldn't take it and told him to stop coming over and that the children could come to see him at his place.

Later on, "Mary" took on another job to pay her bills and to help keep her mind off of her broken marriage.

After almost a year, she was still in love with the guy, but wanted all of him or no part of him at all.

Then, she had more "bad luck".

First, she lost both of her jobs - one laid her off and the other went out of business.

Then, when she took her daughters in for their physicals, she found out that BOTH of them were pregnant!

(I said, "DAMN!")

She fainted right there in the doctors office.

She said she cried even more because she didn't know how she was going to survive. Plus, her daughters were angry with her for not allowing their father to visit them at home. And, that hurt her even more because they didn't seem to care how he had treated her and cheated on her behind her back.

Right away, she went into another depression. But, she knew she had to snap out of it and take care of those two young girls with children on the way.

At this time, the economy was on its way downhill and sucking like hell, and she was out of work for almost a year. Later, she was able to find the job she has now.

She said she went in there and they asked her to "tell something about herself" and as she got deeper into her history, she began to breakdown and cry and share all that she had been through with her husband, children, friend, looking for work, etc.

They told her everything would be alright and that she would never have to worry about being out of work again and she's been at her job ever since.

Now, her kids are in college. Her grandchildren are six years old. And, she's been with a guy who loves her (although she is still somewhat bitter and wary) for the last four years.

I asked her about her Ex and she said she has never forgiven him but she no longer hates him.

As you might have imagined, he eventually cheated on the other woman also and left her for another woman.

He has been with this other woman for a couple of years but he claims to be miserable with her and still tries to sweet-talk his way back into "Mary's" life.

She doesn't know if it's because he wants her love or if it's because he wants her to take that child support bounty off of his head, but either way, she's happy with her life now and she ain't trying to hear it.

I forgot to mention that she prayed for her life to get better and that she prayed against all of the adversity and "demons" in her life, but it's a fact that prayer does help.

It can help you see things clearer. It can open your eyes to the steps you need to take and the direction you need to go.

Prayer, Faith, and Conviction can help you overcome any obstacle.

It causes your face to shine because it's the Power of the Supreme flowing through you and radiating from you.

"But, you can't have a shred of doubt, or it won't work for you."

So, don't keep walking around with your head hanging low and your feet dragging on the ground! Stand Tall! Make moves! Don't beg for the love of a bum or hoodrat who don't know a "good thing" when it's staring them right in the face!

This person ain't meant for you! This bum is a test for the Real Love to come!

This adversity is more than likely a "test" and "an experience" to prepare you for what's to come!

Have your Mind right and your Life ready for that moment! Be Ready!

Get yourself together and stop carrying around all of that "baggage" and dead weight. It ain't doing you any good!

Your Life ain't over!

You have more than enough time to discover real love and your true purpose in life.

Focus on it - and the things you want to do, need to do, and would like to do, to make your world a better place.

Don't put yourself down! Pick yourself up and Get Going!

1

- loveqna

Broken Heart Testimony: Mary

Back To Broken Heart Testimony: Mary - 2

One of my friends is going through a terrible time in her life right now. She suffers from a broken heart, loneliness, and a mind full of confusion.

She "felt empty inside" and "worthless".

She got hold of a gun and was on route to attempt suicide but another friend of ours was able to intervene just in time and talk her out of it.

This poor girl is being tormented by all kinds of demons. She isn't just having "man troubles" and relationship drama, she is confused about life and where she is going in life. She is afraid of her future. She is afraid she will be alone forever. She is afraid she is going to be stuck living this monotonous mundane lifestyle.

The craziest thing about it is: She has TONS of friends. She has a great personality. She's attractive. She has guys lined up wanting to be with her. She has her own house. She has her own car. She makes her own money...

And, the girl has been "saved" and goes to church. (I think she did this to try to "cure" the pain she has inside of her. I kind of doubt she "committed herself to God" with a whole heart. I'm not a religious person. This is just my thoughts on her situation.)

Yet, she is still lonely, empty, and feels worthless. Nothing in life matters. Nothing is important to her - not even her friendships; not even her life.

Her mom is with her right now and her "companion" (a "friends with benefits" lover who helped ignite all of this crap by treating the broad like dirt).

He doesn't have to love the girl.

It's not his fault if he doesn't care for her in that way. He told her he didn't want a relationship. So, he's not blamed for that.

But, he belittles her, criticizes her, and dumps on her without any consideration for her feelings as a human being. He's a liar, a sneak, and a jerk. Those are his faults. And, that's what pushed her over the edge.

He KNEW she had been treated like this in past because we've all sat around talking about relationship experiences before. So, he knew all about what she went through and was going through. He just wanted to tap that ass and have no commitments. He knew she was vulnerable.

This babe was picking from the bottom of the barrel when it came to prospects. You should've seen the guys she went out with or was interested in.

Now, I've told you in previous posts that I've seen some Beasts come into the store with some beautiful women, but these guys she's been hanging out with lately, look like they jumped right out of a cartoon. I'm talking about a collection of some of the wackiest looking scumbags I've ever seen in my life.

And, she was ready to commit to any one of these bums! lol.

They were some good-hearted guys though.

Hell, I know I'm no "Prince Charming", but you would've fell on your ass laughing after you took one look at some of these gorillas.

Anyway...

She was still feeling the pain as she told me her story a few nights ago. And, I didn't want to tell her what everyone else was telling her about "focusing on herself" and how "she needs to get her life together first" before she starts trying to love anyone because I know those words aren't helping her. They haven't helped her yet. And, she been dealing with this pain for a while. I've known her for at least a year, so I know it's been at least that long.

So, I listened as she spoke and cried and let all of her emotions out. Actually, I didn't know what to say to her at the time so, I clowned around a bit.

She cried and laughed and cried some more.

It was almost one o'clock in the morning when I left her but I texted her the next day after she took me to work. She wanted me to take the day off but I suggested she spend it with her mom or a girlfriend because I'm not too good at situations like this yet.

So, she dropped me off and later the real advice I needed to give to her came to me.

I can't remember the message I texted her but it was basically about "perspectives".

She was looking at this guy as someone who rejected her love, but really, he's a dumbass who doesn't know how good of a woman he has. And, he WON'T know until this "good thing" is gone out of his life.

And, it will be great if he NEVER discovers how great she is because he's a fucking jerk.

Her last love was a jerk also. And, she was mean to him because he wouldn't cooperate. But, maybe they weren't compatible. He wasn't "feeling it" and she couldn't accept it. So, she thought she wasn't good enough.

Some people look at things all wrong... And, pray for the wrong things selfishly.

They look at people, situations, and things, and believe that those people, situations, and things will bring them happiness, but all the while that "stuff" and those people are making them anxious and miserable as hell.

They don't realize that without that crap in their lives, they could grow and prosper and find true happiness.

Their true love or SoulMate could be a foot away!

This un-compatible person may be a "test" for a love that IS compatible.

This un-compatible person and the drama they bring to your life is helping you for when you really have to deal with the drama that is yet to come - from the haters and from situations that could try to separate you from someone who will truly make your life complete!

That girl think she is cursed, and in reality, she's blessed to be untied to these guys. All they did was chastise her and put her down and she got so low, she couldn't get up! And, she almost killed herself! For what??? Selfish Love.

"You can do bad by yourself!" Life is tough enough. You don't need any extra drama in your life bringing you down.

Men, stop chasing these mean-spirited nagging ill-mannered deceitful broads.

Ladies, stop crying over these no good lying cheating neglectful douchebags.

They don't want the love you have to give. They don't deserve the love you have to give. They can't handle the love you have to give.

Do both of you a favor and let them go! Get away from them and accept your true purpose in life. Even if they argue and tell you they want to stay. Actions speak louder than words. Let them go.

Endure the pain.

You can still be friends - or not.

Get out and date. Find a new hobby. Spend more time with your family and friends. Join a church. Whatever. Get your mind off of a situation that (more than likely) will amount to nothing.

Stop being selfish and stop trying to force them to love you! It won't work.

Let them go.

Wish them well, and hope that they find whatever it is they're looking for. Stop trying to keep someone that doesn't want to be kept.

2

- loveqna

FABULOUS Foot Massage - Louisville massage therapist Heather Wibbels

One good way to show the love of your life that you care is with a soothing foot massage!

Now, I didn't say it was a "great" way to show that you care - especially if you have a bad back.

Nevertheless, do the best you can - and, don't hesitate to practice!


Video provided by - massagebyheatherw

- loveqna

Pakistani Wedding Groom & bride best dance

It's always a beautiful thing to see two people in love... You have to admit: it's a blessing and good karma.

This is a great time to connect with the love of your life. Don't hesitate but don't rush. By using your good instincts and patience, the right choice is assured... Or, at least, that's what I've been told.

Video provided by - TheShanbutt

- loveqna

it's an abusive relationship - get out and stay out

"Raging Bull" - Robert DeNiro; Cathy Moriarty

Tonight, I've been involved with two discussions about men who were (and one of them IS) abusive in their relationship.

The woman who is currently in a relationship with the abuser confesses that the guy calls her names, slapped her once, ignores her and neglects her after sex, often puts her down and criticizes her, texts other women, sends and receives sexual videos through texts and email, and begs other women for companionship on top of flirting.

She claims that he really treats her like dirt.

But, she can't stay away from the guy because she is happy to be in a relationship and have the companionship.

Plus, she said that sometimes he is nice and sweet and shows her a little attention.

I would've been left his ass. But...

She is needy as hell for love and affection and she enjoys having a date on a regular basis, so she can't live without the guy.

The next lady I responded to on a forum was married to an abuser who didn't want her going to therapy or talking to her friends, but she was strong enough to get out of that relationship.

I didn't ask her how she did it, but I'm glad she did.

And, whether you're a woman or a man trapped in an abusive relationship due to love or the need for affection, attention, and companionship, once you find a way out, stay out!

I know many people don't recommend that you go out on dates immediately afterwards, and you should take heed.

Get a support system if you can't resist.

But, if you're strong enough to get out there and date without losing your self-respect or rushing into a new relationship, then get out and have fun.

Don't sit around - bored and twiddling your thumbs - crying over that bum. Get out and enjoy Life.

Yeah, that jerk is probably missing you.

But, he or she is more than likely missing the control and power he or she had over you as well. So, don't go back... Strive to move forward and up in life. Get out and stay out.

-----------------------------

Do you know why these abusers go on like this and refuse to get the help they need?

Do you know why these people refuse to change?

Okay, yeah, we ALL know they're crazy as bat crap. There's no question about that.

But, most ovem don't even know they're crazy!

They think that what they're doing is "intelligent behavior" and that they're using common sense and that most everyone else is dumb as hell.

They consider themselves "realists" living in a world full of fakes!

They think they know everything.

And, look down on people who they don't consider on their level of intelligence.

They talk about their friends behind their backs.

They belittle and manipulate scrubs and people who are less fortunate than them.

And, they try to dominate their mates if their mate is "not as sharp" as they are OR, don't have the confidence to defend herself (or himself).

Once these people start acting like your mama or papa (or forceful) and telling you what you should do or shouldn't do - without you asking for their advice or opinion - run the other way.

If he or she hates to listen to reason or compromise for the good of the relationship - leave him or her alone. Even if he or she isn't an abuser, you should realize that you two might not be compatible. And, incompatibility often leads to drama. Get the Hell out.

If he or she constantly criticizes your decisions, actions, beliefs, style, appearance, etc., don't even bother with the bum. He or she will only try to break your spirit and bring you down.

most people like that are ego-maniacs who want to be right all the time. they don't want anyone telling them anything - especially what they should or shouldn't do, or judging them, or criticizing them. they have to believe they're right about everything.

he had to be right about everything. and, he wanted to maintain control over you (through abuse and restrictions) so that he could continue to be "right" and dominate the relationship.

he had to have power and respect over someone to satisfy his ego. he has to be the head (or leader) of someone or something or a group. he couldn't stand his "authority" or opinions or ideas being questioned.

many ego-maniacs are obsessed with power and they need to feel important (sometimes perfect) so they have to make other people feel inferior to them or submit to them or agree with all that they say and do.

it's great that you are away from this person and it's probably breaking his heart that you see yourself as his equal.

now that you are equals and he has no power over you, he is probably ashamed of himself or don't want to be judged and scrutinized for his wrong-doing.

That's why it's hard for him to apologize and admit his guilt.

he may want to be right, but deep down, the entire time, he knew he was wrong and doesn't have the strength to face his evils and own up to the pain that he caused.

now, he wants to run away from that past and forget it ever happened.

don't give that psycho the satisfaction of ruling over you again.

Learn from the pain and frustration and drama and move on.

- loveqna

"how to escape a bad relationship"

notes - how good women can get more dates

Recently, I've noticed that there are a lot of women out there wanting a relationship but don't know where to start or they aren't sure about how to start.

On top of that, they're shy and afraid to mix and mingle with other folks or approach a man for a date.

They suffer from social anxiety.

They feel they're not interesting enough. Or, pretty enough. Or, have ANY of the good qualities an honest man would want.

These notes will touch on some of the ways you can increase your "stock" and gain some exposure to attract a mate or more dates, but, remember: There are other notes on this blog that touches on the subject so don't hesitate to copy and create your own personal tips for approaching and dating.

Get some tips from your friends or co-workers or acquaintances as well.


--------------------- notes --------------------------

you just have to get out more.

don't daydream about dating. makes some moves to make it happen.

be more complimentary or engaging in small-talk

before you get too deep or waste too much time, use your instincts to see if the guy really has potential or if you would be better off giving a geek or nerd or nice guy a chance.

be sure you're not dealing with players, wafflers, free spirits, and ego-maniacs (bullies).

make some new friends who will have other single friends and single acquaintances in their lives.

you might meet some of these men at a friendly party or get-together or dinner.

your co-workers might know some available men who are looking for love. you could also get a part-time job to meet new guys - if you have time.

if you are lacking in style, get a makeover to attract more prospects.

if done right (and, if you're attitude is inviting), more men will come to you.

learn from other women (or watch them) and improve your charm and feminine power.

be coy sometimes.

never be afraid of asking a guy questions about himself or his past relationships. some of them will lie, but many of them get kind of giddy when a woman asks about stuff like that.

- are you a player
- how do you treat your women
- when was the last time you went out (on a date)
- how often do you go out
- are you faithful man

etc. it's small-talk and there are better questions than these, so take a look around and listen to others and how they get men to engage.

you don't HAVE to know what you're looking for (in a man) but, often it helps. some people have habits and personalities that just suck.

and, you SHOULD know what your ultimate relationship goals are - completely.

- marriage
- where you would like to live
- having children
- will he be a spiritual man
- do you want someone who likes to travel and go out or a home-body
- do you want someone who's good host and family oriented
- do you have a lifestyle preference
- do you have certain sexual lifestyle preferences
- will your career cause you two to be alone often


join some social groups or organizations and you will also make friends and meet new guys.

just remember to take your time about "love" and REALLY get to know the guy - interests, preferences, wants, needs, personality, habits, life goals, fixations, etc. some of these bums don't want anything but a piece of ass. some of them don't know what they want. they want to be single but they want to be free.

BE SURE TO ASK ALL OF THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS CONCERNING LIFESTYLE AND HIS ABILITY TO STAY FOCUSED ON ONE WOMAN AND ONE RELATIONSHIP.

learn to improve your conversation and social skills. this will help reduce shyness. and, after you've interacted with people for a while and made a few new friends, your confidence will improve.

look at yourself and consider what may be a factor in stopping you from meeting good quality men. it's not going to be the fact that you have no friends or family. or, that you've never been in a relationship. or, that you have no sexual experience.

what will stop men from approaching you is your style, personality, attitude, and appearance.

in reality - and in time - you will meet guys no matter what you are like. but, will you be accepting of the guys who WANT to date you and get to know you? or, will you be too picky and chase after guys who are only "fun" and (seemingly) "interesting"?

get that makeover going and your stock will rise. more men will be attracted to you and interested in you. and, remember to have a positive attitude, charm, wit, to keep their attention. guys like girls who are smart and like to have fun.

don't overdo it but know how to laugh, relax, and have a good time.