Why It's Hard For A Booty-Call To Develop Into Something More

There's an old saying that goes: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

This is the philosophy of the men and women who appreciate "friends with benefits" relationships or "a relationship of convenience" with a man or woman who is strictly a "booty-call".

It's difficult to get emotionally involved with a person who is simply a "booty-call" because the only reason a man or woman needs a person like that is for sex. They may not care who else the person is dating or sleeping with or what they do with their free time. All they care about is satisfying their sexual desires or fetishes.

Unlike a "friends with benefits" relationship, you don't take a "booty-call" or "sexual partner" out on dates or go to social events with them. You don't necessarily go out in public or chill together. They are in your life only to help you with your sexual needs.

So, although they might have "fun" together and enjoy each other sexually, they fight their emotions so as not to get attached to one another.

They may even have an "understanding" about their relationship and never contact each other on a regular basis. Sometimes, it's "just business".

The only time they might meet is at a nightclub, a hotel, or a bar - if they're not hooking-up in a local park or parking lot after work.


In fact, these two "booty-calls" may already BE in relationships. Sometimes long-term relationships. But, they use each other to get what they're not getting at home sexually. They're getting all of the other "benefits" but good loving ain't one of them.

Maybe their partner is boring in bed. Or, too small. Or, unable to perform. Or, too prudish. Sometimes, the man or woman just wants "something different". Every cheater has their own reasons for straying.

But, a booty-call is not limited to people who are in "committed relationships". Single folks enjoy booty-calls as well. Sometimes, these single folks are just sex addicts plain and simple. They're like "free spirits". They go out looking for action. Their goal in life is to have fun and to have sex. They don't want a commitment. They enjoy having booty-calls. You can go on some of these adult dating websites and find the pages packed with profiles of those looking for quick romp.

And, I hate to say it, but some people are booty-calls and don't even know it.

(I'm not going to put anybody on blast because discussion of some situations may make some people have second thoughts about their relationships, or falsely judge the circumstances of their relationship.)

Now, personally, I've never seen or heard of a long-term booty-call developing into anything more than what it is in the beginning. I've known some people to get attached and want more, but usually, the other "partner" doesn't want to take things any further because they're either married, involved in a long-term relationship, or enjoy being single. It causes a little bit of drama (sometimes "break-ups") but usually the booty-calls continue - at least for a while.

And, that's how most booty-calls remain - strictly business. No love. No promises. No commitments.

But, there are some relationships that have Started Off as a booty-call and have developed into more than just a "relationship of convenience".

When this happens, usually one of the "partners" is waiting to get out of relationship or get a "break" from a relationship so that he or she can fully commit to the booty-call, or at least, become "a friend with benefits".

I know in one case where a crackhead kept taking his (non-druggie) friend home with him and the friend got to know the wife pretty well. And one night, while the crackhead was out on the hunt for a score of crack, his friend was at his house "getting jiggy" with his wife. Well, a few booty-calls later and they were living together. A few years later, and they were married. And, even before they got married, they were buying a home and starting a family. So, they're probably still together.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

That's why some cheaters break-up with the booty-call they cheated with or end up getting cheated on BY the booty-call they cheated with. Emotions get involved. They try to date or start a relationship, and it just doesn't work out.


The cheater thinks he or she has found love and all the while the booty-call has another booty-call on the side or, he or she doesn't want to be in a committed relationship. Maybe because the booty-call is a "free spirit". Maybe it's because the booty-call enjoys the benefits of his or her present life or lifestyle.


So, they may or may not have more than a "sexual connection". But, when one or both "partners" are free to date, that's when they find out if there is more to be discovered between each other.

It's a gamble like almost everything else in life.

All I can say is: If you don't want to be a booty-call, get to know the person and know what you're getting into before you give up the booty.

Don't lose your mind and go in with great expectations right off the bat. Use your good instincts and Intuition and take heed to the game, because all the sweet-talk and begging later on ain't gonna change the situation or the person's mind if a booty-call is all he or she wants.

And that reminds me of another saying: "You can lead a horse to water and make him drink. But, watch out when he starts pissing because he might piss on you."

- loveqna