What it's like to be a sexy older woman and having to fight off all of these old and young studs out here...
Video provided by Sanchey
- loveqna
Stories, Jokes, Videos, and How-To Info, about Love, Hate, Dating, The Single Life, and Relationship Drama
Good Women Ain't Gold-Diggers
Video provided by - KanyeWestVEVO
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A lot of men think all women need a "man with money" to be happy...
True, there are a lot of women out there looking for a man with money or a man who will take care of the bills and provide all of the comforts of life. But, all women aren't looking for that. All women aren't looking for a SugarDaddy. All women ain't gold-diggers.
Don't think you can't get a good woman just because your bank account ain't on "swole". Don't think that all women will despise you because you're working a mediocre job making chump-change! Believing that B.S. will ruin your Mind and Self-Esteem!
Don't fall into the trap of believing that you have to have money like Bill Gates or be some kind of famous rapper or Celebrity to "pull" a sexy satisfying babe who has all the qualities you like and lust for.
Look at all of these fine-ass Cougars and Sugar-Mamas taking care of these studs and young bucks! These women have got phat asses and sex-appeal!
Look at all of these famous female celebrities hooking up with these no-name local jokers they meet waiting on tables and delivering pizza!
Look at all of these sexy young tenderonies swooning over these bad boys who are so broke and malnutritioned that their pants are falling off to the ground!
These guys are broke as joke! Many of them are lazy as hell. Most of those poor saps don't have a job, no future, and some ovem ain't even worth a butt-naked nickel!
Do you think those women give a damn about those guys being broke? Hell No! Sh*t No!
Those chicks are trickin' just like some of these guys out here. They'll pay for companionship and affection just like a man will. They'll let those bums drive their car and keep it all day. They'll pay for the gas, pay those guys' cellphone bill. They'll buy those guys all kinds of gifts, shoes, clothes, snacks, beer, weed, and food just to keep the guy happy and hope in the long run that he will keep coming back and continue to be her man or at least a close intimate friend - her "butt-buddy".
Some women will do all kind of trick-ass sh*t just to try to keep those bums hanging around.
How many times have you seen a "Nice Girl" in a relationship with a total loser???
So, it's not always about the money.
It's not always low self-esteem either. That's a myth. That's a bunch of baloney.
Open your eyes! You see sexy STRONG CONFIDENT women with these poor sap-suckers too! Good women. Women that don't take no crap from anybody. Women that have the ability to conquer the World - getting involved with these sorry-ass chumps.
I had no job when me and my Ex got back together. And, when I DID get a job, it was part time and she was happy with it. To that chick, money was not an issue. She wanted Love, affection, and companionship. She just didn't know how to love. That chick was crazy hell and damn near drove me insane. I couldn't give her what she wanted because her attitude was a complete turn-off. But, if it wasn't for that, she couldn't care less if I was making less money than her.
Before I met her, I was involved with this fine-ass Filipina. Oh my goodness... This chick was a dime-piece... Beautiful hair. Beautiful legs. Beautiful lips. Pretty eyes. Passionate. Fun. Sweet. Caring. Giving... She loved me TOO much. My dumbass... There were businessmen, semi-professional athletes, REAL PLAYERS, and such, coming out the woodworks trying to entice my girl, and all she wanted was me. I was broke as hell at that time also - working in an auto parts store - and this chick couldn't keep her hands and mind off of me. She texted me all day. She wanted to make love all the time. She was jealous as hell and didn't want me out of her sight. Money wasn't the issue. I just couldn't handle the relationship. Leaving was the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.
Let me give you another example...
Where I work, we don't make a hell of a lot of money. But, we have people there dating left and right. There are couples in long-term relationships working there. There are married couples working there. Many of these women in these relationships are sexy as hell. Any guy would be proud to have one of these fine "mamasitas" on their arm. Some of them look better than these celebrities you see in the movies and singing on stage or modeling, but they're married to or dating these "Average Joes" who work in retail. These guys ain't got no Big MONEY.
One of my homeboys (an acquaintance really) went on a blind date and hit a gold mine! He was introduced to this fine-ass chick that worked for a bank. She must've been a top-level executive or something because she was always flying around the country and out of the country. She hooked that dude, and they got married. She bought him a brand-spankin-new SUV and a Tractor - as in 18-wheeler tractor trailor! And she wasn't a bad looking girl. She was just too busy to go out and look for love. And, she didn't go to bars and nightclubs. But, she was able to find a guy she could love and care for and he was no Rockerfeller.
These are just a few examples I'm aware of from personal experience, but these types of connections happen all the time. And these types of relationships with hot sexy good women and broke-ass men are going on everywhere! Open your eyes and look around!
How are these scroundrels meeting these good women???
Do you know what makes the difference? Do you know why hot chicks hook-up with those losers?
First of all...
YOU DON'T NEED A MILLION DOLLARS TO HOOK-UP WITH A GOOD WOMAN Or a HOT CHICK.
Don't get me wrong though... Money WILL give you more options! With a pocket full of MOOLAH, you could easily pick-up hoodrats, gold-diggers, hoochie-mamas, show-girls, uppity-ass bimbos, high-maintenance chicks, and maybe a sweet girl looking for her "knight in shining armor". But Remember! If you spoil a woman, you'll have to KEEP spoiling her and spending your hard-earned cash to keep her happy!
Many women are impressed by a man with money, a nice car, a good job, a nice crib (or flat), and goals as long as he ain't a jerk.
Yeah, it's a good thing to have a little money in your pocket so that you take your girl out on a date every once and a while... But, it's still not all about money! Who in the hell wants to be stuck in the house ALL the time???
Nobody wants to be in a relationship that's stale and boring.
Many women are attracted to a man with PERSONALITY. They like a man who has GOOD CONVERSATION. They are attracted to a man with CONFIDENCE. They appreciate a man who's FEARLESS. They appreciate a man who THINKS and one who is KNOWLEDGABLE. They enjoy being around men who ENJOY LIFE and who know how to HAVE A GOOD TIME.
All of these women AREN'T lonely and desperate for Love. Don't listen to the excuses from men who aren't willing to meet a good woman. Women appreciate a man who's ATTENTIVE and CARING. And that doesn't mean being weak and sensitive or submissive. Pay attention to the Game...
Stop thinking you need a big bankroll to meet a good woman.
Stop believing all of those lies about all women wanting men for their money.
Some women are willing to share the load. Some are willing to CARRY the load!
Look at all of the house-husbands and Stay-At-Home-Dads brave enough to show their faces on TV! Look at all of the women bringing home all of that bacon nowdays... They're making all the money while the husband stays at home and takes care of the house and kids! It's a beautiful thing...
All women aren't looking for a man with money but a REAL woman will want you to contribute SOMETHING to the relationship - especially if she's a hustler, go-getter, or driven.
You'd better be good with your hands, good in bed, pretty, pretty sexy, or a handyman or have many of the qualities I mentioned earlier if you think you're going to live off a woman for free without tying the knot.
Now, I hope I'm not encouraging anyone to be a bum and mooch and live off of a woman. That's not my intention.
All I'm saying is: You don't have to have a lot of money to find the girl of your dreams.
You have to bring SOMETHING to the table. And before anything else can happen, it has to be a great personality.
- loveqna
How To Escape From A Bad Relationship
Yesterday (or the day before) I accidentally posted my notes. Today is no accident. Read on if you can stomach it, but changes won't be made until I get off from work. If I'm too tired, I'll remove it and change it later.
------------------------
Sometimes bad situations change. Sometimes people change. So, I won't suggest that you leave your relationship. But, I'm not going to try to convince you stay either.
If you're involved with tyrant, you deserve better.
If you're involved with a nagging-ass woman or nick-picking nagging-ass man, you deserve better.
If your partner is abusive in ANY way, you should know that you deserve better.
If you're involved with a compulsive liar who doesn't respect you or who disrespects you and your relationship, go A.W.O.L. Kick him or her to the curb.
If you've thought hard about your situation and can't work things out with your partner, and decided that your best option is to leave the relationship, then here's what you can do...
1. Stack some cash. If you can't save any money for your escape, then you need some good friends who are willing to put up with you until you get on your feet.
2. Look for a new place. If you're in an abusive relationship and you KNOW your Ex is half crazy, then don't move where you'll be tracked down. If you can move out by telling him or her that you need time to think about the relationship or you can agree to some time apart, then fine. If he or she is a stalker, don't move in with someone he or she may consider a potential mate for you because that might make him or her crazy with jealousy. Skip town if you have to and don't tell other people where you're going - not even people you consider friends because the truth may slip out.
If you have kids it can be hard to make a move but contact some of these abuse hotlines and find out how a parent can get financial assistance in an emergency such as this. Some of those politicians and people in society don't think about situations like this so it's kind of tough but try to keep your head up and scour the city and books for help and financial aid. Furthermore, throw your pride out of window and do what you have to do to survive.
There's a double-standard when men are in this situation. Men can get food stamps and housing assistance as well, but the resources are not as available to them as it is for women. And some of these guys are in abusive relationships as well - mentally and emotionally we all know, but in some cases, physically, too. A woman can whip your ass then call the cops on you for defending yourself and have your ass locked up. It ain't never happened to me but I've seen it happen before.
But, this ain't just about "straight" relationships. We all know that abuse occurs in ALL relationships. So, whatever your orientation, or preference, or lifestyle, it doesn't matter, you can get help too.
3. If you don't have a good-paying job and you're CONSIDERING leaving the relationship, go to school or look for a new job AHEAD of time. Find a way to support yourself or get a school grant or something. If you have no skills, no degree, or no experience in a job that pays well, then you'd better start working on that now.
Now, let me make something clear: If Life was perfect all of this will work out without any problems, but we all know this ain't the case.
Decent-paying jobs are hard to come by.
You don't have time to go to school and you want to get out RIGHT now.
You don't have anyone that will help you or take you in.
You don't have any money and you have NO way to save.
I know how it is... When my Ex wanted me to leave, I tried to get out there and find a place and couldn't find one. I was working part time and couldn't find a full time job. I didn't have any money.
My only plan was to pawn a few items to get some cash for storing my stuff and I would sleep at a homeless shelter for a while.
All I had was courage and a slight plan.
The other thing I did was I told everyone about my situation and what I needed to do. For days, I made it known that I had an emergency and was being ousted of my current residence. But I wasn't hysterical. Sometimes you can break down and someone will immediately feel sympathetic and offer you anything you need, but I didn't feel it was that serious. So, I maintained my composure. I asked if they knew of any places that were cheap to move into or any that didn't require a deposit. Some of those places were scum... and, I would've dreaded moving in. But, if push came to shove, I would've done what I had to do.
Some of my co-workers even offered to have me as a roommate. I was in need but I wasn't DESPERATE! lol. I'm just kidding.
I guess my Guardian Angel felt I was REALLY trying and swooped down to help me.
That's when I found that notepad with my old friend's number on it and decided to give her a call. I moved in with no money down. I was able to by a bicycle to get to work (since the buses don't come out this far). And, by the time my rent was due, I had the money. I had to clean one of her investment properties and work for a couple of co-workers at odd hours, but the main thing is: I did what I had to do and, I got my rent paid on time.
But, what if you're just in a stale sucker-ass boring relationship with somone who just doesn't turn you on or with someone who turns you off. What do you do if you're too "shy" to come right out and tell him or her that you want "Out"?
Let me tell you how I've weaseled my way out of some of those dull relationships and how others have done it as well...
Did you ever see that movie, "How To Lose A Guy In 30 Days"?
Although it's a comedy, it's a movie based on facts. I haven't seen the entire movie but the bits and pieces I DID see were funny as hell. Basically, this guy and this chick start dating and she does all kinds of sh*t to try and dump him or get him to dump her. She'd do or say things just to get the man riled up. She tries to "turn him off". She nags. She irritates him. She interrupts him while he's trying to relax and chill. She acts like a psychopath in front of his friends. She acts like a "ding-bat". She annoys him. She does all kinds of crap so that he will hate her or dislike her and leave, but he sticks around.
In real life, some guys would stick around too, but over half of them would cheat or leave. And, they do. But, if you want him (or her) to leave anyway, who cares? Get gone.
One of my co-workers told me there was an Astrology book that taught people how to break-up with their partner by doing things he or she doesn't like. Things that would piss the particular zodiac sign off and make him or her abandon the relationship.
One example was: If they're lazy, make them work all the time or ask them to do something. Keep them busy.
Another example was: If they clean-up all the time, be messy and don't clean up.
Or... If they are messy, be a "Neat-Freak" and constantly clean and complain about EVERYTHING being dirty or having germs. Sterilize everything at home as well as out in public.
She gave me two testimonials and suggested if I ever needed it, to run out and grab that book.
It's the same technique used in that movie.
Screw with a person's pet peeves. Do things they don't like and eventually they'll leave you alone. It's real life situations, but you just project and magnify a particular habit or characteristic that you know your lover simply can't stand. After a while, they'll be like: "To hell with this. I'm gone."
Oh crap! Do you think my Ex was doing that to me???
lol.
--------------------------------
She'd have to run her mouth just for hell of it.
These people DESERVE to be alone. They SHOULD be alone. These assholes should be banished and exiled.
Save - don't hesitate to start stacking your cash - get a mailbox and a new bank account if you have to
Plan your move - move out of the vicinity; change jobs if you have to
Get protection
Inform the authorities if you believe your life or safety is in danger
Get help from a friend but be wary about associating with or visiting friends the both of you know
Don't take threats lightly and if you have a new girlfriend or boyfriend advise them of the same
If the person doesn't respect you now, they may not respect you in the future.
Why don't they respect you?
What issues or beefs have you had that caused you to spite each other?
Why can't you go back to the way things were before when you first met?
On the night of my last post, I called my new roommate up and asked her if she could come over the next day and help me move some of my stuff to the new place. It was fate that she had just pulled up in her driveway and asked me if I wanted her to come over and pick me "now". I said, "That'll be great. I'm already packed." But, in my mind I said, "HELL YEAH! Get me the hell up out of here right dammit now!"
I gave her the directions to my Ex's house and she told me she'd be right over in about ten or fifteen minutes. I was shocked but I couldn't delay. Damn! I didn't think she would come so soon! I wasn't packed! I had most of my crap all over the place like I had been "spring cleaning" and half of my sh*t was spread out all over the place.
I ran around that damn raggedy-ass house trying to find garbage bags and plastic grocery store bags to pack my sh*t in. I didn't care. Some stuff, I trashed. And whatever I didn't see or have my mind on, I just left it. The hell with it. It's only stuff.
I made sure my Ex's lunch was cooked for work. I didn't prepare it myself. Her sons were cooking dinner and I supervised while I ran around trying to find the bags to haul my stuff in.
I hate to say it, but nobody knew I was leaving. I pretended to be cleaning and throwing my old junk out while her sons made dinner. And, she was just waking up after getting her rest for work, so she didn't know what I was doing. But, the timing was great, because I didn't want to go in and disturb her while she was sleeping. I grabbed her work clothes and put them in the dryer for her and took some of my stuff outside and set it on the front lawn. It was a little after 10pm so I was literally running off like a thief in the night. It was exciting to be escaping away to my new life.
About ten minutes after we first talked, my roommate called for more directions. I was moving so quickly and rushing around, I started babbling at first and had to calm myself down. My roommate must've sensed it because she said, "There won't be any drama when I get over there, will it? I don't want to get into no sh*t between you and your woman."
I let her know that everything was cool and she was more than welcome to come over a chill for while if she liked. lol. (Yeah, right.)
She didn't know it, but she had just set herself up for a prank.
Anyway...
She got there before I finished packing but it only took me about a minute or less to get all of my stuff and get it packed into the car. And, I told the guys "see ya' later". And, that was it. I was gone.
When I got back outside I rushed to the car, I yelled at my roommate like I was hysterical, "GO! GO! SHE'S COMING! LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA' HERE!"
She was shocked. lol. Her eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets! lol. That chick was petrified! It was funny as hell.
I'm surprised she didn't put me right back out of her car. lol. But, she thought it was funny too. Anyway, I packed up my stuff and we rode off into the night...
After I got here and got my stuff into the room, my roommate started interrogating me. She asked me if I DID drugs, sold drugs, or was doing anything else illegal. Of course, NO. Then, she wanted to know why me and my Ex split-up and if she would be coming over any time because she didn't want any drama in her neighborhood. I let her know that "we were done" as a couple and not planning any reunion. And, just as I said that, my cellphone rang. It was Her.
I wasn't going to answer it at first, but I didn't want to burn any bridges, so I took the call. She asked where I was and how I got here. I've been telling her that I'm rooming with a guy from work and that he and his wife lives on the East side of town. I probably could've just told her in the beginning that I have a female roommate, but I think I know her well enough to say there would've been a little bit of drama and false accusations. So, I continued with that lie about moving in with a guy from work and told her that his wife picked me up just in case she happened to see my roommate in the car.
A day or two passed...
She sent a couple of texts (or at least one text) asking me if I missed her. Nope, not at all. I didn't text her back. Then, she called me another day to tell me the kids were asking about me. They thought I was at work and kept asking what time I was coming home. That kind of pissed me off because I do miss those little bad-ass brats. But, I didn't talk to them on the phone. Instead, I told her I was rushing off to work and would call them back later in the day. No. I didn't call. I don't even remember anything she said on the phone. I had move on. The nightmare is over!
Or, is it???
I like my new life. And for now, I like being single. But, don't get me wrong, I AM keeping my eyes open for Love.
------------------------
Sometimes bad situations change. Sometimes people change. So, I won't suggest that you leave your relationship. But, I'm not going to try to convince you stay either.
If you're involved with tyrant, you deserve better.
If you're involved with a nagging-ass woman or nick-picking nagging-ass man, you deserve better.
If your partner is abusive in ANY way, you should know that you deserve better.
If you're involved with a compulsive liar who doesn't respect you or who disrespects you and your relationship, go A.W.O.L. Kick him or her to the curb.
If you've thought hard about your situation and can't work things out with your partner, and decided that your best option is to leave the relationship, then here's what you can do...
1. Stack some cash. If you can't save any money for your escape, then you need some good friends who are willing to put up with you until you get on your feet.
2. Look for a new place. If you're in an abusive relationship and you KNOW your Ex is half crazy, then don't move where you'll be tracked down. If you can move out by telling him or her that you need time to think about the relationship or you can agree to some time apart, then fine. If he or she is a stalker, don't move in with someone he or she may consider a potential mate for you because that might make him or her crazy with jealousy. Skip town if you have to and don't tell other people where you're going - not even people you consider friends because the truth may slip out.
If you have kids it can be hard to make a move but contact some of these abuse hotlines and find out how a parent can get financial assistance in an emergency such as this. Some of those politicians and people in society don't think about situations like this so it's kind of tough but try to keep your head up and scour the city and books for help and financial aid. Furthermore, throw your pride out of window and do what you have to do to survive.
There's a double-standard when men are in this situation. Men can get food stamps and housing assistance as well, but the resources are not as available to them as it is for women. And some of these guys are in abusive relationships as well - mentally and emotionally we all know, but in some cases, physically, too. A woman can whip your ass then call the cops on you for defending yourself and have your ass locked up. It ain't never happened to me but I've seen it happen before.
But, this ain't just about "straight" relationships. We all know that abuse occurs in ALL relationships. So, whatever your orientation, or preference, or lifestyle, it doesn't matter, you can get help too.
3. If you don't have a good-paying job and you're CONSIDERING leaving the relationship, go to school or look for a new job AHEAD of time. Find a way to support yourself or get a school grant or something. If you have no skills, no degree, or no experience in a job that pays well, then you'd better start working on that now.
Now, let me make something clear: If Life was perfect all of this will work out without any problems, but we all know this ain't the case.
Decent-paying jobs are hard to come by.
You don't have time to go to school and you want to get out RIGHT now.
You don't have anyone that will help you or take you in.
You don't have any money and you have NO way to save.
I know how it is... When my Ex wanted me to leave, I tried to get out there and find a place and couldn't find one. I was working part time and couldn't find a full time job. I didn't have any money.
My only plan was to pawn a few items to get some cash for storing my stuff and I would sleep at a homeless shelter for a while.
All I had was courage and a slight plan.
The other thing I did was I told everyone about my situation and what I needed to do. For days, I made it known that I had an emergency and was being ousted of my current residence. But I wasn't hysterical. Sometimes you can break down and someone will immediately feel sympathetic and offer you anything you need, but I didn't feel it was that serious. So, I maintained my composure. I asked if they knew of any places that were cheap to move into or any that didn't require a deposit. Some of those places were scum... and, I would've dreaded moving in. But, if push came to shove, I would've done what I had to do.
Some of my co-workers even offered to have me as a roommate. I was in need but I wasn't DESPERATE! lol. I'm just kidding.
I guess my Guardian Angel felt I was REALLY trying and swooped down to help me.
That's when I found that notepad with my old friend's number on it and decided to give her a call. I moved in with no money down. I was able to by a bicycle to get to work (since the buses don't come out this far). And, by the time my rent was due, I had the money. I had to clean one of her investment properties and work for a couple of co-workers at odd hours, but the main thing is: I did what I had to do and, I got my rent paid on time.
But, what if you're just in a stale sucker-ass boring relationship with somone who just doesn't turn you on or with someone who turns you off. What do you do if you're too "shy" to come right out and tell him or her that you want "Out"?
Let me tell you how I've weaseled my way out of some of those dull relationships and how others have done it as well...
Did you ever see that movie, "How To Lose A Guy In 30 Days"?
Although it's a comedy, it's a movie based on facts. I haven't seen the entire movie but the bits and pieces I DID see were funny as hell. Basically, this guy and this chick start dating and she does all kinds of sh*t to try and dump him or get him to dump her. She'd do or say things just to get the man riled up. She tries to "turn him off". She nags. She irritates him. She interrupts him while he's trying to relax and chill. She acts like a psychopath in front of his friends. She acts like a "ding-bat". She annoys him. She does all kinds of crap so that he will hate her or dislike her and leave, but he sticks around.
In real life, some guys would stick around too, but over half of them would cheat or leave. And, they do. But, if you want him (or her) to leave anyway, who cares? Get gone.
One of my co-workers told me there was an Astrology book that taught people how to break-up with their partner by doing things he or she doesn't like. Things that would piss the particular zodiac sign off and make him or her abandon the relationship.
One example was: If they're lazy, make them work all the time or ask them to do something. Keep them busy.
Another example was: If they clean-up all the time, be messy and don't clean up.
Or... If they are messy, be a "Neat-Freak" and constantly clean and complain about EVERYTHING being dirty or having germs. Sterilize everything at home as well as out in public.
She gave me two testimonials and suggested if I ever needed it, to run out and grab that book.
It's the same technique used in that movie.
Screw with a person's pet peeves. Do things they don't like and eventually they'll leave you alone. It's real life situations, but you just project and magnify a particular habit or characteristic that you know your lover simply can't stand. After a while, they'll be like: "To hell with this. I'm gone."
Oh crap! Do you think my Ex was doing that to me???
lol.
--------------------------------
She'd have to run her mouth just for hell of it.
These people DESERVE to be alone. They SHOULD be alone. These assholes should be banished and exiled.
Save - don't hesitate to start stacking your cash - get a mailbox and a new bank account if you have to
Plan your move - move out of the vicinity; change jobs if you have to
Get protection
Inform the authorities if you believe your life or safety is in danger
Get help from a friend but be wary about associating with or visiting friends the both of you know
Don't take threats lightly and if you have a new girlfriend or boyfriend advise them of the same
If the person doesn't respect you now, they may not respect you in the future.
Why don't they respect you?
What issues or beefs have you had that caused you to spite each other?
Why can't you go back to the way things were before when you first met?
On the night of my last post, I called my new roommate up and asked her if she could come over the next day and help me move some of my stuff to the new place. It was fate that she had just pulled up in her driveway and asked me if I wanted her to come over and pick me "now". I said, "That'll be great. I'm already packed." But, in my mind I said, "HELL YEAH! Get me the hell up out of here right dammit now!"
I gave her the directions to my Ex's house and she told me she'd be right over in about ten or fifteen minutes. I was shocked but I couldn't delay. Damn! I didn't think she would come so soon! I wasn't packed! I had most of my crap all over the place like I had been "spring cleaning" and half of my sh*t was spread out all over the place.
I ran around that damn raggedy-ass house trying to find garbage bags and plastic grocery store bags to pack my sh*t in. I didn't care. Some stuff, I trashed. And whatever I didn't see or have my mind on, I just left it. The hell with it. It's only stuff.
I made sure my Ex's lunch was cooked for work. I didn't prepare it myself. Her sons were cooking dinner and I supervised while I ran around trying to find the bags to haul my stuff in.
I hate to say it, but nobody knew I was leaving. I pretended to be cleaning and throwing my old junk out while her sons made dinner. And, she was just waking up after getting her rest for work, so she didn't know what I was doing. But, the timing was great, because I didn't want to go in and disturb her while she was sleeping. I grabbed her work clothes and put them in the dryer for her and took some of my stuff outside and set it on the front lawn. It was a little after 10pm so I was literally running off like a thief in the night. It was exciting to be escaping away to my new life.
About ten minutes after we first talked, my roommate called for more directions. I was moving so quickly and rushing around, I started babbling at first and had to calm myself down. My roommate must've sensed it because she said, "There won't be any drama when I get over there, will it? I don't want to get into no sh*t between you and your woman."
I let her know that everything was cool and she was more than welcome to come over a chill for while if she liked. lol. (Yeah, right.)
She didn't know it, but she had just set herself up for a prank.
Anyway...
She got there before I finished packing but it only took me about a minute or less to get all of my stuff and get it packed into the car. And, I told the guys "see ya' later". And, that was it. I was gone.
When I got back outside I rushed to the car, I yelled at my roommate like I was hysterical, "GO! GO! SHE'S COMING! LET'S GET THE HELL OUTTA' HERE!"
She was shocked. lol. Her eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets! lol. That chick was petrified! It was funny as hell.
I'm surprised she didn't put me right back out of her car. lol. But, she thought it was funny too. Anyway, I packed up my stuff and we rode off into the night...
After I got here and got my stuff into the room, my roommate started interrogating me. She asked me if I DID drugs, sold drugs, or was doing anything else illegal. Of course, NO. Then, she wanted to know why me and my Ex split-up and if she would be coming over any time because she didn't want any drama in her neighborhood. I let her know that "we were done" as a couple and not planning any reunion. And, just as I said that, my cellphone rang. It was Her.
I wasn't going to answer it at first, but I didn't want to burn any bridges, so I took the call. She asked where I was and how I got here. I've been telling her that I'm rooming with a guy from work and that he and his wife lives on the East side of town. I probably could've just told her in the beginning that I have a female roommate, but I think I know her well enough to say there would've been a little bit of drama and false accusations. So, I continued with that lie about moving in with a guy from work and told her that his wife picked me up just in case she happened to see my roommate in the car.
A day or two passed...
She sent a couple of texts (or at least one text) asking me if I missed her. Nope, not at all. I didn't text her back. Then, she called me another day to tell me the kids were asking about me. They thought I was at work and kept asking what time I was coming home. That kind of pissed me off because I do miss those little bad-ass brats. But, I didn't talk to them on the phone. Instead, I told her I was rushing off to work and would call them back later in the day. No. I didn't call. I don't even remember anything she said on the phone. I had move on. The nightmare is over!
Or, is it???
I like my new life. And for now, I like being single. But, don't get me wrong, I AM keeping my eyes open for Love.
VIDEO - ANTM - 2 The Girl Who Cheated
If you've ever seen "America's Next Top Model" on TV then you've probably witnessed this heart-breaking scene before. If you haven't, get your "hanky" ready. It's a tear-dropper...
Video provided by - NoMoreBubbleGum1
- loveqna
Video provided by - NoMoreBubbleGum1
- loveqna
Don't Be So Critical Of Yourself
A couple of weeks ago, I was helping this lady load some merchandise into her car. This car was a small sporty Lexus. She had a lot of stuff and stuff that was too big to fit in her little-ass sports car. I tried all kinds of adjustments to make the packages fit but at the same time, I wanted to be careful NOT to scratch the car or damage the merchandise. I said, "Ma'am, I don't think all this stuff is going to fit. These packages are kinda bulky."
She kept on piling the stuff she had in her hands in the car - not leaving me ANY room for my stuff (the stuff I had to put in there) - and said, "Oh, it'll fit. If I can get my fat ass in this car, I know this stuff will fit in there." We laughed. But, that ass didn't look half bad.
She was bootylicious.
She had to be about 40-something, but she was attractive, and thick. Now, don't get me wrong, she wasn't a "knock-out", but she had potential.
I think most people, when they get a certain age, lose a little bit of their confidence and are resigned to believe they aren't attractive anymore. That's how she probably felt, I'm sure.
You could tell she was a babe back in her day but she just let herself go. She seemed to have on an expensive business suit, but it was too big and a little baggy. You could still see that curvacious booty but she looked sloppy. Her hair was a mess. She looked like she just threw her make-up on that morning and didn't care where it landed. She had nice features so I'm not sure why she needed it. Anyway, none of that stuff was working for her at all.
Maybe she didn't care or maybe she was too busy to care. Or, maybe she needs a "style coach". Who knows?
But, I thought about what she said about her being fat and I didn't think she was all that fat. She had a little bit of a gut, but nothing a few sit-ups couldn't cure. Or, maybe a diet plan. Hell, maybe it was all that suit she was wearing. She had on so much material that she thought she was fat.
And that's what I want to talk about. Not fats and materials but people who have a negative perception of themselves and how they look.
Don't worry. I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you that looks aren't important, because to many people (probably most people), good looks ARE important! Many people choose their mates based on beauty, height, body type, hair length, facial features, overall style, etc. Most people will tell you that personality is important - and it is - but they won't know WHAT your personality is like until they spend a few minutes or a few days getting to know you. THEN, your personality might be more important to them than how you look.
We ALL make judgments about other people based on their appearance. All of us don't do it all the time. But, there ARE times when we look at another person and believe they may be wealthy, snobby, poor, thuggish, honest, or a nerd. But if YOU'RE that person being judged, why should you give a damn??? DO You. Don't worry about what other people think about how you look if you're satisfied with it. Do you think that lady REALLY gives a damn that I thought she was attractive or that she dressed sloppy??? Probably not. But, she was self-conscious about her weight... Why??? Some people out there REALLY don't know how attractive they are. Do you know how many men (and women) would love to get their hands on a woman who's thick like that???
Now, it's good that she can laugh about it and keep going with her life, but I wonder if she doesn't feel romantically undesirable because of her weight?
Too MANY people out there worry about their weight. If it bothers you, then fine. Do whatever you need to do to feel better about yourself. But there are a ton of people out there ready to love you for EXACTLY the way you are - if you'll stop worrying and feeling shy because of your weight and body type. It doesn't matter if you're big, skinny, tall, or short, there are PEOPLE out there who fantasize about someone like you.
I've told you before: I see all kinds of couples with all TYPES of people matched-up together. Old and Young. Short Men and Tall Women. Fat and Skinny. Old and Older. Beauties and Beasts. Thugs and Princesses. Interracials. Gay. I see it all. Some ovem' DON'T look good together in MY opinion. But, they don't give a damn about the people on the outside looking in! Whatever THEY saw in each other is all that counts! And, there are people out there that will feel the same way about you as long as you're approachable or willing to approach them.
Let me say this...
You don't have to be extremely pretty to feel good about yourself.
Can you imagine how bad beautiful people feel about getting old? They really worry about it. Don't you know some of them get paranoid about wrinkles? The beauty industry right now is making a killing off of those people who are trying to save themselves from Old Age and Father Time. A lot of us regular Janes and Joes are lucky we don't have to have to worry about that crap. Well, damn near look the same all of our lives.
Too many people put TOO MUCH emphasis on their looks. Worried that they don't look good enough or that they will get passed over for someone who's prettier. It happens, but it doesn't happen all the time. YOU have to stand out and command attention with your presence.
Now, I mentioned all those negative things I saw about that woman with the little red sports car but... I still think she's attractive and desirable. And, I'm not saying that just because she has a cute face and a phat ass.
Although I didn't mention it, I liked her personality as well. It was sexy. She was funny and cracked a few jokes while she had me running around all over the place to hunt down all the crap she wanted to buy. She was confident in asking for what she wanted. She even had me go to the supervisor twice so that she could purchase some Christmas displays that we had and she never even blinked an eye at the price. (Of course, we gave her a discount anyway, but I'm just saying.) And, you could tell that the woman was focused and about her business. She was a go-getter and KNEW what she wanted. She said she had to make a few purchases, get it done, and get home, and that's what happened.
This crazy-ass broad even had the NERVE to park her car right in front of the main entrance doorway and come in to shop! When I went out to load that car up, I said "Damn! I know this crazy woman didn't park her car right here in front of the main entrance and come in here and start shopping!" But, it was her. And, she had to have been in there for at least forty-five minutes if not an hour! Any sane person would've found a parking space.
I could only laugh. You have to give a woman like that credit, because that shows she got spunk. She just didn't give a damn. Who in their right mind parks their car - BLOCKING THE MAIN ENTRANCE DOORS - to go shopping???
I don't know about you, but that's a real turn-on for me. I like a woman with balls - figuratively speaking. And so do a lot of other romantics out there. It's not always about what you LOOK like. Confidence and overall style will truly win out every time. Honestly, men and women notice different things when it comes to what they prefer in a mate. Some people will find you attractive based solely on your personality and potential. How you make THEM feel. Nobody has completely the same tastes and preferences in everything.
If you ask 10 different men what they prefer in a woman, you'll get 10 different answers. And some lists will be longer than others.
If you ask 10 different women what they prefer in a man, you'll get 10 different lists. And some will be longer than others.
If you ask 10 different people what they prefer in a man or woman, and all them give you the same answers, they either don't know what they want, or they don't have much experience. Because, as you meet different people, the list changes. It fluctuates and gets longer and shorter and longer and shorter as you meet and experience more people. People are attracted to different things.
Each of us has something that's stands out and is attractive to someone else.
There are INDIVIDUAL QUALITIES you have that makes you attractive too. You just have to bring those special qualities out. Many people keep their beauty hidden under a cloud of shyness, fear, and low self-esteem. They doubt themselves. Their lack of trust in others being honest makes them have no faith in themselves. They have a hard time finding true love because they quit before they even start trying.
If you're going to find Love, or if you expect Love to find you, the worse place you can wait is under a rock. You can't find it if you're hiding from it. It's like a blessing. You can't receive it if you're too afraid to open up your hand.
So, you have to bring those good qualities out where they can shine and radiate good vibes and attract good prospects for love, romance, and friendship. If there's something about yourself you don't feel good about change it! Or, at least change your perspective of it.
What do you do??? Whatever you have to do to improve your Confidence!
* Improve your social skills and conversation skills if you have to
* Stand tall and walk tall and FEEL Taller
* Realize that Beauty never guarantees you the Love, Desires, or Dreams that you're looking for
* Rememeber that Style and Personality is more important that Beauty
* Realize that Beauty has nothing to do with Sex-appeal, Style, and Class
* Remember that Beauty never guarantees Happiness or that you will come out on Top
* Realize that Intelligence and Style are very sexy too
* Speak up and speak from your diaphram - be aware of this at all times
* Realize that everyone is not judging you
* Realize that everyone will face rejection many times in their lives but the winners and people who are most happy are people who keep on trucking and enjoying life
* Take heed, and remember that being cute doesn't always make you special - at least not in everyone's eyes
* Associate with people who respect you and who make you feel empowered
* Associate with people who WANT you to have fun and have a good time
* Do the things that make you happy and that keep you entertained
* Travel - locally and out of town if you can so you'll be well-rounded, in the know, and have more to talk about and offer
* Stay in the know - keep up with news (family, community, work, local, national)
* Be sure your style fits your personality
* Get a new hairstyle or facial hairstyle if YOU feel that will help
* Learn how to cook - everyone appreciates someone who can cook and it's a good topic
* Remember: Life is about situations and it's how you deal with those situations that makes you a winner or loser - DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR KNOWLEDGE
* Get in the habit of saying "NO" to deals and requests you don't like or agree with
* Use positive affirmations whenever you can
* Realize that ANYTHING you want to do well requires practice - this includes looking good for the public and your fans
* Have a major goal at all times - keep working towards something great and important
* Go to seminars or workshops that teach to improve your confidence or public speaking
* Stay away from people who make you feel inferior or who try to dominate you until you're strong enough to stand up for yourself or walk away without feeling shamed - tell them to kiss your butt and keep moving. Ignore it and DO YOU.
And I could go on for days I guess but it's not necessary. Open your eyes and look around. The proof that everyone loves a great personality is EVERYWHERE. The main thing to do is work on your weaknesses. What makes YOU feel inferior or critical of yourself? Get it out of your life!
That's what you should want to work on - CONFIDENCE and HAPPINESS. And, if you aren't working on that, then you MUST be happy with who you are. Now, all you have to do is let someone love you who's happy with it too.
- loveqna
She kept on piling the stuff she had in her hands in the car - not leaving me ANY room for my stuff (the stuff I had to put in there) - and said, "Oh, it'll fit. If I can get my fat ass in this car, I know this stuff will fit in there." We laughed. But, that ass didn't look half bad.
She was bootylicious.
She had to be about 40-something, but she was attractive, and thick. Now, don't get me wrong, she wasn't a "knock-out", but she had potential.
I think most people, when they get a certain age, lose a little bit of their confidence and are resigned to believe they aren't attractive anymore. That's how she probably felt, I'm sure.
You could tell she was a babe back in her day but she just let herself go. She seemed to have on an expensive business suit, but it was too big and a little baggy. You could still see that curvacious booty but she looked sloppy. Her hair was a mess. She looked like she just threw her make-up on that morning and didn't care where it landed. She had nice features so I'm not sure why she needed it. Anyway, none of that stuff was working for her at all.
Maybe she didn't care or maybe she was too busy to care. Or, maybe she needs a "style coach". Who knows?
But, I thought about what she said about her being fat and I didn't think she was all that fat. She had a little bit of a gut, but nothing a few sit-ups couldn't cure. Or, maybe a diet plan. Hell, maybe it was all that suit she was wearing. She had on so much material that she thought she was fat.
And that's what I want to talk about. Not fats and materials but people who have a negative perception of themselves and how they look.
Don't worry. I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you that looks aren't important, because to many people (probably most people), good looks ARE important! Many people choose their mates based on beauty, height, body type, hair length, facial features, overall style, etc. Most people will tell you that personality is important - and it is - but they won't know WHAT your personality is like until they spend a few minutes or a few days getting to know you. THEN, your personality might be more important to them than how you look.
We ALL make judgments about other people based on their appearance. All of us don't do it all the time. But, there ARE times when we look at another person and believe they may be wealthy, snobby, poor, thuggish, honest, or a nerd. But if YOU'RE that person being judged, why should you give a damn??? DO You. Don't worry about what other people think about how you look if you're satisfied with it. Do you think that lady REALLY gives a damn that I thought she was attractive or that she dressed sloppy??? Probably not. But, she was self-conscious about her weight... Why??? Some people out there REALLY don't know how attractive they are. Do you know how many men (and women) would love to get their hands on a woman who's thick like that???
Now, it's good that she can laugh about it and keep going with her life, but I wonder if she doesn't feel romantically undesirable because of her weight?
Too MANY people out there worry about their weight. If it bothers you, then fine. Do whatever you need to do to feel better about yourself. But there are a ton of people out there ready to love you for EXACTLY the way you are - if you'll stop worrying and feeling shy because of your weight and body type. It doesn't matter if you're big, skinny, tall, or short, there are PEOPLE out there who fantasize about someone like you.
I've told you before: I see all kinds of couples with all TYPES of people matched-up together. Old and Young. Short Men and Tall Women. Fat and Skinny. Old and Older. Beauties and Beasts. Thugs and Princesses. Interracials. Gay. I see it all. Some ovem' DON'T look good together in MY opinion. But, they don't give a damn about the people on the outside looking in! Whatever THEY saw in each other is all that counts! And, there are people out there that will feel the same way about you as long as you're approachable or willing to approach them.
Let me say this...
You don't have to be extremely pretty to feel good about yourself.
Can you imagine how bad beautiful people feel about getting old? They really worry about it. Don't you know some of them get paranoid about wrinkles? The beauty industry right now is making a killing off of those people who are trying to save themselves from Old Age and Father Time. A lot of us regular Janes and Joes are lucky we don't have to have to worry about that crap. Well, damn near look the same all of our lives.
Too many people put TOO MUCH emphasis on their looks. Worried that they don't look good enough or that they will get passed over for someone who's prettier. It happens, but it doesn't happen all the time. YOU have to stand out and command attention with your presence.
Now, I mentioned all those negative things I saw about that woman with the little red sports car but... I still think she's attractive and desirable. And, I'm not saying that just because she has a cute face and a phat ass.
Although I didn't mention it, I liked her personality as well. It was sexy. She was funny and cracked a few jokes while she had me running around all over the place to hunt down all the crap she wanted to buy. She was confident in asking for what she wanted. She even had me go to the supervisor twice so that she could purchase some Christmas displays that we had and she never even blinked an eye at the price. (Of course, we gave her a discount anyway, but I'm just saying.) And, you could tell that the woman was focused and about her business. She was a go-getter and KNEW what she wanted. She said she had to make a few purchases, get it done, and get home, and that's what happened.
This crazy-ass broad even had the NERVE to park her car right in front of the main entrance doorway and come in to shop! When I went out to load that car up, I said "Damn! I know this crazy woman didn't park her car right here in front of the main entrance and come in here and start shopping!" But, it was her. And, she had to have been in there for at least forty-five minutes if not an hour! Any sane person would've found a parking space.
I could only laugh. You have to give a woman like that credit, because that shows she got spunk. She just didn't give a damn. Who in their right mind parks their car - BLOCKING THE MAIN ENTRANCE DOORS - to go shopping???
I don't know about you, but that's a real turn-on for me. I like a woman with balls - figuratively speaking. And so do a lot of other romantics out there. It's not always about what you LOOK like. Confidence and overall style will truly win out every time. Honestly, men and women notice different things when it comes to what they prefer in a mate. Some people will find you attractive based solely on your personality and potential. How you make THEM feel. Nobody has completely the same tastes and preferences in everything.
If you ask 10 different men what they prefer in a woman, you'll get 10 different answers. And some lists will be longer than others.
If you ask 10 different women what they prefer in a man, you'll get 10 different lists. And some will be longer than others.
If you ask 10 different people what they prefer in a man or woman, and all them give you the same answers, they either don't know what they want, or they don't have much experience. Because, as you meet different people, the list changes. It fluctuates and gets longer and shorter and longer and shorter as you meet and experience more people. People are attracted to different things.
Each of us has something that's stands out and is attractive to someone else.
There are INDIVIDUAL QUALITIES you have that makes you attractive too. You just have to bring those special qualities out. Many people keep their beauty hidden under a cloud of shyness, fear, and low self-esteem. They doubt themselves. Their lack of trust in others being honest makes them have no faith in themselves. They have a hard time finding true love because they quit before they even start trying.
If you're going to find Love, or if you expect Love to find you, the worse place you can wait is under a rock. You can't find it if you're hiding from it. It's like a blessing. You can't receive it if you're too afraid to open up your hand.
So, you have to bring those good qualities out where they can shine and radiate good vibes and attract good prospects for love, romance, and friendship. If there's something about yourself you don't feel good about change it! Or, at least change your perspective of it.
What do you do??? Whatever you have to do to improve your Confidence!
* Improve your social skills and conversation skills if you have to
* Stand tall and walk tall and FEEL Taller
* Realize that Beauty never guarantees you the Love, Desires, or Dreams that you're looking for
* Rememeber that Style and Personality is more important that Beauty
* Realize that Beauty has nothing to do with Sex-appeal, Style, and Class
* Remember that Beauty never guarantees Happiness or that you will come out on Top
* Realize that Intelligence and Style are very sexy too
* Speak up and speak from your diaphram - be aware of this at all times
* Realize that everyone is not judging you
* Realize that everyone will face rejection many times in their lives but the winners and people who are most happy are people who keep on trucking and enjoying life
* Take heed, and remember that being cute doesn't always make you special - at least not in everyone's eyes
* Associate with people who respect you and who make you feel empowered
* Associate with people who WANT you to have fun and have a good time
* Do the things that make you happy and that keep you entertained
* Travel - locally and out of town if you can so you'll be well-rounded, in the know, and have more to talk about and offer
* Stay in the know - keep up with news (family, community, work, local, national)
* Be sure your style fits your personality
* Get a new hairstyle or facial hairstyle if YOU feel that will help
* Learn how to cook - everyone appreciates someone who can cook and it's a good topic
* Remember: Life is about situations and it's how you deal with those situations that makes you a winner or loser - DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR KNOWLEDGE
* Get in the habit of saying "NO" to deals and requests you don't like or agree with
* Use positive affirmations whenever you can
* Realize that ANYTHING you want to do well requires practice - this includes looking good for the public and your fans
* Have a major goal at all times - keep working towards something great and important
* Go to seminars or workshops that teach to improve your confidence or public speaking
* Stay away from people who make you feel inferior or who try to dominate you until you're strong enough to stand up for yourself or walk away without feeling shamed - tell them to kiss your butt and keep moving. Ignore it and DO YOU.
And I could go on for days I guess but it's not necessary. Open your eyes and look around. The proof that everyone loves a great personality is EVERYWHERE. The main thing to do is work on your weaknesses. What makes YOU feel inferior or critical of yourself? Get it out of your life!
That's what you should want to work on - CONFIDENCE and HAPPINESS. And, if you aren't working on that, then you MUST be happy with who you are. Now, all you have to do is let someone love you who's happy with it too.
- loveqna
Finding Love In The Workplace
Do you think it's a good idea to get involved with a co-worker?
If you don't, you're not alone...
Most of the people I know would say "Heeell naw. I'd never hook-up with anyone from work." But, many people still do it, don't they?
One of my old supervisors once told me, "Boy, Never get your two "P"s from the same place." That's your paycheck and your...... well, you know.
I've never followed that rule.
If I see a fine-ass single co-worker - and she's giving me "the eye" - I'm going in. Why not. No one can predict whether the relationship will be a success or failure. And who knows, that person you're working side-by-side with may be your Soulmate. You don't know if he (or she) IS or ISN'T until you get to know this little cutie-pie. That's a fact no matter WHERE you meet each other.
Hell, if the guy or girl is looking good and smelling good all the time, and has a nice personality, SOMEbody is gonna make a move and ask him or her out on date - then, YOU might miss out on a good thing.
If he or she is showing interest, why not make a move?
At my last job, there were people dating, hooking up, married couples, and flirting going on all over the place. At my current job - it's the same thing. Every place I've worked has had people who were involved in one way or the other. With Supervisors getting in on the action too.
Let's face it, there are a LOT of lonely people out there - And people looking for Love. And, if those people aren't getting the love and affection they need at home or making a "love connection" in bars, on the Net, out in public, or through family and friends, they might end up making a connection at work.
Your job is like your second home and your co-workers are like your second family - or at least, distant relatives. These people may have a FEW things in common with you - or some interesting stories, or good advice.
Some of these people we talk to about our problems, or their problems, or drama in our relationship or marriage, or bad days, or traffic. Or, you share jokes with some of these people, stories about your kids, stories about your past, places to find bargains, news of the day, or stories and issues about screwball customers, lazy co-workers, and sorry-ass supervisors.
And let's face it, work can be boring. So, people tease each other, flirt, help each other once and a while.
These things bring people closer together in one way or the other.
But, there is a downside also. Some people are perverts. Some are creepy. Some are too aggressive. Some are just downright obnoxious.
Be careful that you don't become one of these people if you are considering trying to make a "love connection" on the job. These people are the reason why they intalled the "sexual harassment policies". And, it's a good idea since some people go a little TOO far and get carried away with their "romantic invitations".
Hell, one place I worked fired TWO people for sexual harassment. One was a man. One was a woman. I don't know EXACTLY happened in the case of the man except that he was saying whatever was on his mind to a sexy supervisor (that jackass). But, the woman grabbed the balls of one of the co-workers in her department. She actually "got a whole hand full of balls and all." I'm certain they were horsing around and flirting with each other. But, unlucky for her, the BIG Boss was passing by the cubicle at the same time and saw it all. Talk about poor timing...
But a lot of people toy with each other and flirt on the job like that. I've seen it. I've even seen grown men frolic and play and grope each other and hump on each other all the time on the job. I don't play that sh*t. I don't play on the job AT ALL. Strictly business. I don't do it. I don't want any guys grabbing me or trying to wrestle me or whatever. They can have it. It's funny as hell though sometimes.
I used to wonder what their wives or girlfriends might think to see 30, 40, and 50 year old men running around on the job groping their work-buddies. ??? I'd like to see the expression on both partners' faces when the woman walked in and caught him in the act. I bet the shock on the both of their faces would be funny as hell... lol. The woman would stop dead in her tracks...
"CHARLES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!"
"Uh, Uh... Baby, we're just horsin' around." hehehe.
And, people wonder why "Production" is down.
Anyway...
Let me tell you why finding love on the job is not a bad idea - if your company allows it.
For one, if two people are interested in each other and they WANT to get involved, they're going to do it - and no company policy is going to stop them. And, some of them manage to keep it a secret and work together fine with no problems whatsoever.
Some people don't believe a husband and wife should be in business together, but some of them make it work. And, they go on to establish a FAMILY business.
So, Love CAN work in the workplace but it takes two people who are understanding, rational, driven, and compatible.
When I met my Ex (She dumped me again), it was on the job. We got along very well. BUT, She was always in my department wanting to talk. She was well-known as a hard worker, smart, and she knew the production process inside and out. She had worked almost every position IN the place except management. I was new in my position. So, when she came over wanting to chit-chat, it would distract me and I'd start screwing up. That made me want her to stay away. Plus, my supervisor would always gawk when he saw her over there talking to me. He didn't know we were dating, but you know how supervisors are: The want you to work and not talk while you're on the clock. Plus, on a positive note, he wanted to make sure I was doing okay. But sometimes, when she came over, I'd screw up, and he'd come running over like the place was on fire to help get the machine unstuck. I said "Damn!" She'd be in the mix trying to help out. The machine operator would be pissed off and he'd have to come back there and help. And my poor dumbass would be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to figure out what the hell to do. It was embarrassing... And, it was frustrating because, for a while, I was ruining the stats almost every night. Constantly. And not getting my paperwork done. I just knew they were going to get rid of my ass. lol. So, it started to piss me off a little bit when she was always coming over to talk.
After that passed, the "jealousy bug" reared it's ugly head. If I talked to another woman or girl in that place, she'd be angry as hell and talk sh*t. She'd accuse me of flirting or say that I should avoid those girls. And, they were her so-called friends!
Then, she wanted me to quit smoking. And, she knew I smoked before we started dating.
Then, her attitude caused conflicts with a few of the other people in the workplace. She hates men especially but she had it out with a couple of the women in that place too. I thought she was wrong, but you know I couldn't say that.
Then she would take long breaks and felt like I had that option too. I was still new and only worked with one other person and we had to relieve each other for breaks and cover for each other on the machine. So, we had to do the work of two people when one of us was there. It can be done but it messes up the stats and you have move faster and walk and walk and walk back and forth to keep your eyes on both ends of the machine.
She finally, said that she couldn't take working with me anymore and changed shifts. I was happy as hell.
But, I had relationships with a few other ladies on other jobs before that - and I had no problems. Well, except for one. But, we still remained together for a few years after that and would've gotten married if I wasn't so dumb at the time.
But, let me tell you why I think most of those relationships worked and how you can possibly make yours work if you decide to get involved with someone on the job.
Again, this is solely based on my personal experiences and observations. You or someone you know may have different opinions based on your experiences, but here goes...
It could work as long as one partner doesn't expect favoritism or special treatment because you two are dating, involved, or married. When one of the partners feel they deserve special treatment because they are sleeping with "the boss", they don't work as hard and they'll come in late or think they can leave when they want or some even expect you to get rid of people THEY don't like. Or, they want to hang around in the office all the time.
It can work as long as one person is not a jealous lover or over-protective. This person will make your work-life hell. They'll confront you all the time or make you feel like you can't associate with friends or friendly co-workers who THEY feel may be a threat to the relationship. They'll try to control you at work and talk sh*t when you get home. And, you definitely don't need that in your life.
It can work as long as both partners are strong enough to push aside any advances from other people without the other partner stepping in. And the other partner must have enough trust that his or her mate can handle the situation with class and tact without causing an uproar. The person making the advances may not know that the two are involved. I gave a girl a compliment on her style one day, someone told her boyfriend and he thought I wanted his woman. He started interrogating me. And he was my supervisor! Damned Fool! But, he became one of my good friends too, so... lol. That dumbass.
It can work as long as both partners are hard workers or if at least one of the partners is well liked by managemaent. I've heard managers and supervisors talk bad about a co-worker's wife but never confronted her or attacked her simply because her husband was (probably) the hardest working person in the entire complex. It's a shame that dude died from over-working himself. No jokes intended.
It can work as long as both partners are mature enough to know to do their job and not cause strife or grief within the workplace. This situation may lead the other partner getting involved. Then, BOTH partners could be out of job and NOBODY will be able to bring home any bacon. This is also the reason why most companies don't like people getting involved at work.
It can work as long as both partner don't bring their problems from home to the workplace and spite each other or talk about their problems with each other to other co-workers. This will turn the co-workers against the "bad guy" or girl and cause drama for a while. And it might even help cause a break-up. That happened to me. Those chickenheaded hoodrat girls even tried to hook my girl up with some pretty-boy friend of theirs. That really ticked me off. But, as I said, we stayed together for years after that incident.
It can work as long as the partners are honest, committed to each other, devoted, and no one is playing games or flirting with other people. If you decide to date someone on the job, make sure the person you're interested in is not a tease, promiscuous, or someone who loves to flirt with every pretty face he or she sees. That sh*t will drive you crazy. I've seen this happen on the job before and it turned into a love triangle that caused two people to get fired.
It can work if the partners work in different departments.
Sometimes working different shifts has it's drawbacks because you know you won't see much of each other except on days off or for a few hours each day - this can lead to loneliness for one of the partners.
If the job doesn't pay much money for either partner, this can be drawback also since money IS one of the primary causes of unhappiness in a relationship.
It can work as long as neither partner abuses the business or neglects the business. If one of the partners is really trying while the other is spending money and bullsh*ttin', this is definitely going to lead to trouble and probably the downfall of the business.
It can work as long as both partners have the same goals and want to work hard to achieve long-term goals and promote the growth of the business.
It can work as long as both partners communicate decisions and events (like negotiations) and keep each other in the know. Like any business or relationship between equal partners, each partner should keep the other partner informed.
It can work as long as both partners understand their strengths and weaknesses, each other's strenths and weaknesses, and are able to allow each other to use their strengths to help build the business.
It can work as long as the partners aren't jealous of each other or each other's talents, skills, or connections and allow each other to use their resources to help grow the business.
It can work as long as neither partner lets his or her ego cause him or her to abuse him or herself, the other partner, the business, or the customers.
Now, I know what you may be thinking.
This may sound like a lot of preaching or coaching, but if you're thinking about hooking up with someone on the job, but you're having doubts, I say: "Don't hold back! Go for it!"
Just be sure that you can handle that situation and that you're not the jealous type. Be sure you're hooking up with someone that doesn't cause a lot of drama or someone who may be a player.
Take your time and get to know the person as a friend first and see what happens from there.
- loveqna
If you don't, you're not alone...
Most of the people I know would say "Heeell naw. I'd never hook-up with anyone from work." But, many people still do it, don't they?
One of my old supervisors once told me, "Boy, Never get your two "P"s from the same place." That's your paycheck and your...... well, you know.
I've never followed that rule.
If I see a fine-ass single co-worker - and she's giving me "the eye" - I'm going in. Why not. No one can predict whether the relationship will be a success or failure. And who knows, that person you're working side-by-side with may be your Soulmate. You don't know if he (or she) IS or ISN'T until you get to know this little cutie-pie. That's a fact no matter WHERE you meet each other.
Hell, if the guy or girl is looking good and smelling good all the time, and has a nice personality, SOMEbody is gonna make a move and ask him or her out on date - then, YOU might miss out on a good thing.
If he or she is showing interest, why not make a move?
At my last job, there were people dating, hooking up, married couples, and flirting going on all over the place. At my current job - it's the same thing. Every place I've worked has had people who were involved in one way or the other. With Supervisors getting in on the action too.
Let's face it, there are a LOT of lonely people out there - And people looking for Love. And, if those people aren't getting the love and affection they need at home or making a "love connection" in bars, on the Net, out in public, or through family and friends, they might end up making a connection at work.
Your job is like your second home and your co-workers are like your second family - or at least, distant relatives. These people may have a FEW things in common with you - or some interesting stories, or good advice.
Some of these people we talk to about our problems, or their problems, or drama in our relationship or marriage, or bad days, or traffic. Or, you share jokes with some of these people, stories about your kids, stories about your past, places to find bargains, news of the day, or stories and issues about screwball customers, lazy co-workers, and sorry-ass supervisors.
And let's face it, work can be boring. So, people tease each other, flirt, help each other once and a while.
These things bring people closer together in one way or the other.
But, there is a downside also. Some people are perverts. Some are creepy. Some are too aggressive. Some are just downright obnoxious.
Be careful that you don't become one of these people if you are considering trying to make a "love connection" on the job. These people are the reason why they intalled the "sexual harassment policies". And, it's a good idea since some people go a little TOO far and get carried away with their "romantic invitations".
Hell, one place I worked fired TWO people for sexual harassment. One was a man. One was a woman. I don't know EXACTLY happened in the case of the man except that he was saying whatever was on his mind to a sexy supervisor (that jackass). But, the woman grabbed the balls of one of the co-workers in her department. She actually "got a whole hand full of balls and all." I'm certain they were horsing around and flirting with each other. But, unlucky for her, the BIG Boss was passing by the cubicle at the same time and saw it all. Talk about poor timing...
But a lot of people toy with each other and flirt on the job like that. I've seen it. I've even seen grown men frolic and play and grope each other and hump on each other all the time on the job. I don't play that sh*t. I don't play on the job AT ALL. Strictly business. I don't do it. I don't want any guys grabbing me or trying to wrestle me or whatever. They can have it. It's funny as hell though sometimes.
I used to wonder what their wives or girlfriends might think to see 30, 40, and 50 year old men running around on the job groping their work-buddies. ??? I'd like to see the expression on both partners' faces when the woman walked in and caught him in the act. I bet the shock on the both of their faces would be funny as hell... lol. The woman would stop dead in her tracks...
"CHARLES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!!"
"Uh, Uh... Baby, we're just horsin' around." hehehe.
And, people wonder why "Production" is down.
Anyway...
Let me tell you why finding love on the job is not a bad idea - if your company allows it.
For one, if two people are interested in each other and they WANT to get involved, they're going to do it - and no company policy is going to stop them. And, some of them manage to keep it a secret and work together fine with no problems whatsoever.
Some people don't believe a husband and wife should be in business together, but some of them make it work. And, they go on to establish a FAMILY business.
So, Love CAN work in the workplace but it takes two people who are understanding, rational, driven, and compatible.
When I met my Ex (She dumped me again), it was on the job. We got along very well. BUT, She was always in my department wanting to talk. She was well-known as a hard worker, smart, and she knew the production process inside and out. She had worked almost every position IN the place except management. I was new in my position. So, when she came over wanting to chit-chat, it would distract me and I'd start screwing up. That made me want her to stay away. Plus, my supervisor would always gawk when he saw her over there talking to me. He didn't know we were dating, but you know how supervisors are: The want you to work and not talk while you're on the clock. Plus, on a positive note, he wanted to make sure I was doing okay. But sometimes, when she came over, I'd screw up, and he'd come running over like the place was on fire to help get the machine unstuck. I said "Damn!" She'd be in the mix trying to help out. The machine operator would be pissed off and he'd have to come back there and help. And my poor dumbass would be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to figure out what the hell to do. It was embarrassing... And, it was frustrating because, for a while, I was ruining the stats almost every night. Constantly. And not getting my paperwork done. I just knew they were going to get rid of my ass. lol. So, it started to piss me off a little bit when she was always coming over to talk.
After that passed, the "jealousy bug" reared it's ugly head. If I talked to another woman or girl in that place, she'd be angry as hell and talk sh*t. She'd accuse me of flirting or say that I should avoid those girls. And, they were her so-called friends!
Then, she wanted me to quit smoking. And, she knew I smoked before we started dating.
Then, her attitude caused conflicts with a few of the other people in the workplace. She hates men especially but she had it out with a couple of the women in that place too. I thought she was wrong, but you know I couldn't say that.
Then she would take long breaks and felt like I had that option too. I was still new and only worked with one other person and we had to relieve each other for breaks and cover for each other on the machine. So, we had to do the work of two people when one of us was there. It can be done but it messes up the stats and you have move faster and walk and walk and walk back and forth to keep your eyes on both ends of the machine.
She finally, said that she couldn't take working with me anymore and changed shifts. I was happy as hell.
But, I had relationships with a few other ladies on other jobs before that - and I had no problems. Well, except for one. But, we still remained together for a few years after that and would've gotten married if I wasn't so dumb at the time.
But, let me tell you why I think most of those relationships worked and how you can possibly make yours work if you decide to get involved with someone on the job.
Again, this is solely based on my personal experiences and observations. You or someone you know may have different opinions based on your experiences, but here goes...
It could work as long as one partner doesn't expect favoritism or special treatment because you two are dating, involved, or married. When one of the partners feel they deserve special treatment because they are sleeping with "the boss", they don't work as hard and they'll come in late or think they can leave when they want or some even expect you to get rid of people THEY don't like. Or, they want to hang around in the office all the time.
It can work as long as one person is not a jealous lover or over-protective. This person will make your work-life hell. They'll confront you all the time or make you feel like you can't associate with friends or friendly co-workers who THEY feel may be a threat to the relationship. They'll try to control you at work and talk sh*t when you get home. And, you definitely don't need that in your life.
It can work as long as both partners are strong enough to push aside any advances from other people without the other partner stepping in. And the other partner must have enough trust that his or her mate can handle the situation with class and tact without causing an uproar. The person making the advances may not know that the two are involved. I gave a girl a compliment on her style one day, someone told her boyfriend and he thought I wanted his woman. He started interrogating me. And he was my supervisor! Damned Fool! But, he became one of my good friends too, so... lol. That dumbass.
It can work as long as both partners are hard workers or if at least one of the partners is well liked by managemaent. I've heard managers and supervisors talk bad about a co-worker's wife but never confronted her or attacked her simply because her husband was (probably) the hardest working person in the entire complex. It's a shame that dude died from over-working himself. No jokes intended.
It can work as long as both partners are mature enough to know to do their job and not cause strife or grief within the workplace. This situation may lead the other partner getting involved. Then, BOTH partners could be out of job and NOBODY will be able to bring home any bacon. This is also the reason why most companies don't like people getting involved at work.
It can work as long as both partner don't bring their problems from home to the workplace and spite each other or talk about their problems with each other to other co-workers. This will turn the co-workers against the "bad guy" or girl and cause drama for a while. And it might even help cause a break-up. That happened to me. Those chickenheaded hoodrat girls even tried to hook my girl up with some pretty-boy friend of theirs. That really ticked me off. But, as I said, we stayed together for years after that incident.
It can work as long as the partners are honest, committed to each other, devoted, and no one is playing games or flirting with other people. If you decide to date someone on the job, make sure the person you're interested in is not a tease, promiscuous, or someone who loves to flirt with every pretty face he or she sees. That sh*t will drive you crazy. I've seen this happen on the job before and it turned into a love triangle that caused two people to get fired.
It can work if the partners work in different departments.
Sometimes working different shifts has it's drawbacks because you know you won't see much of each other except on days off or for a few hours each day - this can lead to loneliness for one of the partners.
If the job doesn't pay much money for either partner, this can be drawback also since money IS one of the primary causes of unhappiness in a relationship.
It can work as long as neither partner abuses the business or neglects the business. If one of the partners is really trying while the other is spending money and bullsh*ttin', this is definitely going to lead to trouble and probably the downfall of the business.
It can work as long as both partners have the same goals and want to work hard to achieve long-term goals and promote the growth of the business.
It can work as long as both partners communicate decisions and events (like negotiations) and keep each other in the know. Like any business or relationship between equal partners, each partner should keep the other partner informed.
It can work as long as both partners understand their strengths and weaknesses, each other's strenths and weaknesses, and are able to allow each other to use their strengths to help build the business.
It can work as long as the partners aren't jealous of each other or each other's talents, skills, or connections and allow each other to use their resources to help grow the business.
It can work as long as neither partner lets his or her ego cause him or her to abuse him or herself, the other partner, the business, or the customers.
Now, I know what you may be thinking.
This may sound like a lot of preaching or coaching, but if you're thinking about hooking up with someone on the job, but you're having doubts, I say: "Don't hold back! Go for it!"
Just be sure that you can handle that situation and that you're not the jealous type. Be sure you're hooking up with someone that doesn't cause a lot of drama or someone who may be a player.
Take your time and get to know the person as a friend first and see what happens from there.
- loveqna
How To Tell If A Man Or Woman Is Playing Games
Let's be honest with each other...
Aren't you sick and tired of men and women who play romantic games?
Well, in this post I'm going to spill the beans on the game these pretenders and so-called wannabee players try to run on the innocent romantics out there looking for a relationship and love.
This won't be a comprehensive list, but if you pay attention and observe - AND keep your awareness level high, you'll be able to spot the bullsh*t before those scallywags play you out, give you the run-around, and lead you on a path to wasting your time, energy, and money.
But, you have to be careful!
Many of these manipulators and teasers have some good game and will lie like hell to get what they want out of you. They'll butter you up and mislead you. They'll flatter you, court you, and tell you everything they think you want to hear to seduce you. They are good at deception because they practice deceiving people constantly. People who are lonely and those who are desperate for love or a long-term relationship are especially susceptible to these games because they let their guards down in hopes of finding love. So, you HAVE to be somewhat detached and rational if you want to avoid the B.S.
So, for starters, before you approach a prospect for a date or romance or in hopes getting to know him or her for a long-term relationship, make sure you are "proper". Make sure YOUR game is tight. Have your confidence level high. Be in a good mood and radiate good vibes, but Don't rush in with the intention of expecting to meet the love of your life! Just enjoy the moment. Remember! You don't know ANYTHING about this girl or guy. So, go in with the intention of having a good time (some fun) and just getting to know him or her and MAYBE setting up a date or phone call for later on. You could even say that this is the "practice field" for developing your conversation and social skills. Just think of it as that.
If you've ever been involved with anyone on the Net. Or, thought that you've found true love on there only to have your heart broken or disappointment take hold because the person was NOTHING like what he or she claimed to be, then you totally understand what I'm talking about.
Now, the simple games are: teasing, tricking, and faking.
Teasers will flatter you, talk sexy, and lead you on just for fun and waste your precious time. They'll keep you hanging around and toy with you simply because they enjoy the attention and they have nothing better to do. They may think you're cute but, if someone else more interesting comes along, they'll ignore you and dismiss you like you're trash. This is a game that many women play. To them it's entertainment. Some of them will toy with your emotions and make you jump through hoops just to see how far you will go to try to please them and win their heart. But, don't be fooled, there are badboys out there who play this foul game too.
You can spot these people because they are all talk, talk, and more talk, but when you start talking dates or asking for their phone number, they act coy and play dumb. These are the same people who will give you a FAKE phone number or who will promise to call but don't. Pay attention. If they're playing TOO hard to get, let him or her know that you ain't got no time for foolishness and games, and move on.
Tricks will try to turn you into a trick by asking you for favors, or money, or they want you to SPEND your hard-earned money in order for them to talk to you - Or for you to get to first, second, or third base. And, they still might not give you the time of day! This is very true in night clubs and bars. If you've ever wanted to talk to a girl in a club - and she DEMANDS a drink first - oh, get to steppin'. There's nothing wrong with buying a woman a drink - whether you're feeling her or not, but if you HAVE to buy a drink just to get a conversation... move on. I was in a night club a few years ago and asked this girl to dance. That hag told me that if I wanted a dance, I'd have to buy her drink first! I said, "Damn! You ain't even worked up a sweat yet and you wanna drink already??? You're fine, but I don't deal with pimps!" And, I bounced. I went right up to the next chick I saw (she wasn't as cute but she looked okay)and asked her to dance, and we went on the floor. That's what I do. I don't chase a woman at a club. There are plenty in there. So, You don't have to put up with that sh*t!
You can spot these people easily. They'll ask for favors early on. Some will start begging within the hour. Some will bless you with a favor or gifts just so that you will be willing to give them more in the long run. Be wary of their hidden agendas. Their goal is to satisfy their immediate wants and needs, but if they can't, they'll work on you and keep you around while you provide them with dinner dates, bill money, transportation needs, trinkets, errands, labor, etc. But, when you need THEM, they're busy or you can't get in touch with them. These people will suck your bank account dry and use you up for your time if you don't keep your eyes open.
Fakers come in all shapes and sizes and have different goals. Some want you for a one-night stand. Some want you for money. Some want ONLY your money. Some want to control you and use you for convenience and support. Some just want to escape their current lifestyle. Some don't seem to know what the hell they want - you or their Ex or to be single.
This could be a list in itself. Fakers are...
* players - will use you mainly for sex or convenience
* con-men/con-women - will get you to invest in a scheme and steal your money
* scam artists - will get you to invest in a scheme or make you fall in love and steal whatever you've got
* manipulators - will abuse you for whatever they can get - including your love
* cheaters - aren't satisfied with anything except companionship or sex
* wafflers - don't know WHAT they want and will drive you crazy going back and forth between you and an Ex - or trying to decide if they want love or the single life
* pick-up artists - are like players but usually only want sex - some may be looking for something long-term
The only thing you can do to avoid being played by these players is to take your time and get to know him or her. Be friendly but, Don't allow him or her to do you ANY favors and don't feel obligated to do him or her any favors. Don't accept any gifts or trinkets that might make you sway your judgment. If their birthday comes up, get a card. Dinner maybe. But, don't give the impression that you're going to be his or her sponsor or the begging won't stop. If he or she starts guilt-tripping you, recognize that THAT is the sign of an abuser and you need to move on - as fast as you can.
Now, some people are generous and don't mind helping someone they care about. Some people don't mind sharing their good fortune with others. If that's your style, that's fine. But, be prepared to keep doing it if you want to keep this person in your life. And, I won't say that he or she WON'T change, but I wouldn't put faith in it. If your game is tight and You can establish some sort of equality in the relationship, then you may have a chance of winning his or her heart.
Many people can recognize these mind games at the first introduction. Some people need 3 months or so before they realize they've made a mistake. Again, take your time to get to know the prospect and KEEP YOUR AWARENESS LEVEL ON HIGH. If you remember that, your game will always be tight and you won't get played for sucker by these no-good scallywags.
- loveqna
Aren't you sick and tired of men and women who play romantic games?
Well, in this post I'm going to spill the beans on the game these pretenders and so-called wannabee players try to run on the innocent romantics out there looking for a relationship and love.
This won't be a comprehensive list, but if you pay attention and observe - AND keep your awareness level high, you'll be able to spot the bullsh*t before those scallywags play you out, give you the run-around, and lead you on a path to wasting your time, energy, and money.
But, you have to be careful!
Many of these manipulators and teasers have some good game and will lie like hell to get what they want out of you. They'll butter you up and mislead you. They'll flatter you, court you, and tell you everything they think you want to hear to seduce you. They are good at deception because they practice deceiving people constantly. People who are lonely and those who are desperate for love or a long-term relationship are especially susceptible to these games because they let their guards down in hopes of finding love. So, you HAVE to be somewhat detached and rational if you want to avoid the B.S.
So, for starters, before you approach a prospect for a date or romance or in hopes getting to know him or her for a long-term relationship, make sure you are "proper". Make sure YOUR game is tight. Have your confidence level high. Be in a good mood and radiate good vibes, but Don't rush in with the intention of expecting to meet the love of your life! Just enjoy the moment. Remember! You don't know ANYTHING about this girl or guy. So, go in with the intention of having a good time (some fun) and just getting to know him or her and MAYBE setting up a date or phone call for later on. You could even say that this is the "practice field" for developing your conversation and social skills. Just think of it as that.
If you've ever been involved with anyone on the Net. Or, thought that you've found true love on there only to have your heart broken or disappointment take hold because the person was NOTHING like what he or she claimed to be, then you totally understand what I'm talking about.
Now, the simple games are: teasing, tricking, and faking.
Teasers will flatter you, talk sexy, and lead you on just for fun and waste your precious time. They'll keep you hanging around and toy with you simply because they enjoy the attention and they have nothing better to do. They may think you're cute but, if someone else more interesting comes along, they'll ignore you and dismiss you like you're trash. This is a game that many women play. To them it's entertainment. Some of them will toy with your emotions and make you jump through hoops just to see how far you will go to try to please them and win their heart. But, don't be fooled, there are badboys out there who play this foul game too.
You can spot these people because they are all talk, talk, and more talk, but when you start talking dates or asking for their phone number, they act coy and play dumb. These are the same people who will give you a FAKE phone number or who will promise to call but don't. Pay attention. If they're playing TOO hard to get, let him or her know that you ain't got no time for foolishness and games, and move on.
Tricks will try to turn you into a trick by asking you for favors, or money, or they want you to SPEND your hard-earned money in order for them to talk to you - Or for you to get to first, second, or third base. And, they still might not give you the time of day! This is very true in night clubs and bars. If you've ever wanted to talk to a girl in a club - and she DEMANDS a drink first - oh, get to steppin'. There's nothing wrong with buying a woman a drink - whether you're feeling her or not, but if you HAVE to buy a drink just to get a conversation... move on. I was in a night club a few years ago and asked this girl to dance. That hag told me that if I wanted a dance, I'd have to buy her drink first! I said, "Damn! You ain't even worked up a sweat yet and you wanna drink already??? You're fine, but I don't deal with pimps!" And, I bounced. I went right up to the next chick I saw (she wasn't as cute but she looked okay)and asked her to dance, and we went on the floor. That's what I do. I don't chase a woman at a club. There are plenty in there. So, You don't have to put up with that sh*t!
You can spot these people easily. They'll ask for favors early on. Some will start begging within the hour. Some will bless you with a favor or gifts just so that you will be willing to give them more in the long run. Be wary of their hidden agendas. Their goal is to satisfy their immediate wants and needs, but if they can't, they'll work on you and keep you around while you provide them with dinner dates, bill money, transportation needs, trinkets, errands, labor, etc. But, when you need THEM, they're busy or you can't get in touch with them. These people will suck your bank account dry and use you up for your time if you don't keep your eyes open.
Fakers come in all shapes and sizes and have different goals. Some want you for a one-night stand. Some want you for money. Some want ONLY your money. Some want to control you and use you for convenience and support. Some just want to escape their current lifestyle. Some don't seem to know what the hell they want - you or their Ex or to be single.
This could be a list in itself. Fakers are...
* players - will use you mainly for sex or convenience
* con-men/con-women - will get you to invest in a scheme and steal your money
* scam artists - will get you to invest in a scheme or make you fall in love and steal whatever you've got
* manipulators - will abuse you for whatever they can get - including your love
* cheaters - aren't satisfied with anything except companionship or sex
* wafflers - don't know WHAT they want and will drive you crazy going back and forth between you and an Ex - or trying to decide if they want love or the single life
* pick-up artists - are like players but usually only want sex - some may be looking for something long-term
The only thing you can do to avoid being played by these players is to take your time and get to know him or her. Be friendly but, Don't allow him or her to do you ANY favors and don't feel obligated to do him or her any favors. Don't accept any gifts or trinkets that might make you sway your judgment. If their birthday comes up, get a card. Dinner maybe. But, don't give the impression that you're going to be his or her sponsor or the begging won't stop. If he or she starts guilt-tripping you, recognize that THAT is the sign of an abuser and you need to move on - as fast as you can.
Now, some people are generous and don't mind helping someone they care about. Some people don't mind sharing their good fortune with others. If that's your style, that's fine. But, be prepared to keep doing it if you want to keep this person in your life. And, I won't say that he or she WON'T change, but I wouldn't put faith in it. If your game is tight and You can establish some sort of equality in the relationship, then you may have a chance of winning his or her heart.
Many people can recognize these mind games at the first introduction. Some people need 3 months or so before they realize they've made a mistake. Again, take your time to get to know the prospect and KEEP YOUR AWARENESS LEVEL ON HIGH. If you remember that, your game will always be tight and you won't get played for sucker by these no-good scallywags.
- loveqna
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