What If You're Loving And Caring And Your Partner Still Cheats On You?

Beg you sorry rascal! Beg for forgiveness! lol...

What we are REALLY talking about here is Honesty, Trust, And Respect.

We are also talking about people who are weak-minded.

But be warned also: Love is not always a two-way street.

You can love someone and devote yourself to him or her, but that doesn't mean or guarantee that they will even have a second thought about you.

Scam artists and players make unsuspecting suckers - I mean, Good men and women - fall in love with them all the time. They do it so that they can con these good people out of their money, their credit, a place to live, a car, favors, access to something, whatever.

Look at these people who "catfish" people online. Sometimes the "stalker" (or the one doing the catfishing) is in love whereas the good person who THOUGHT they were in love, realize that they weren't in love when they finally meet the person that "catfished" them.

So, Love is not always a two-way street.

Some people try to force their love on another person who could never feel love.

It doesn't matter how good you cook.

It doesn't matter how good you look.

It doesn't matter if you're loving, caring, honest, or faithful and in love, that doesn't mean your romantic interest HAS to feel the same way. They feel the way they feel and that's that.

Sometimes, two people start out on great terms, and feel like they are compatible and that they will be together forever. But...

Sometimes, one partner loses interest. It happens.

Sometimes, a couple gets into a heated argument, say things they don't mean, and one partner never forgives the other partner. They are so ticked off, they don't want to be in the relationship anymore. What was love turns into disgust and they're just hanging around until they can find a way out.

Sometimes, one of the partners may find a true connection with someone else, or BELIEVE that they have a connection or chemistry with someone else and feels compelled to start a relationship with that person.

Unfortunately, nothing ever stays the same. People change. Situations change. Feelings sometimes change. Love can be tested. True feeling can be exposed. And, true character - and motives (as hurtful as they may be) - at some point will be brought to light.

So, if your partner cheats after you have been honest, loving, and caring, your only resolution is going to be how you deal with what has happened.

And, no matter how you deal with it, you still have to learn from it and change.

You might have to change how you interact with your partner - or, your next partner.

You might have to change how you choose your partners.

You might have to change your style, attitude, behavior, or beliefs (if they keep getting you into disagreements with your partners).

You know what you have to do.

But, it's up to the both of you to settle this - IF you want to hold on to the cheater.

Talk to him or her. Only he or she can tell you WHY he or she cheated. No one else. Not me. Not your friends. Not the author of a book. No one. The cheater has to tell you why he or she cheated.

Then, YOU have to decide if it's worth the risk to hang on and involve yourself with this person again or move on.

The deceit has happened. Now, investigate and try to make sense of it all. Don't go berserk because of it. Let the bum speak (or lie) and try to understand what went wrong. Learn from the experience no matter what you do.

But, here's another fact that a lot of people are aware of:

Even if you move on and find someone else, it could happen again. Honest and Faithful people are rare these days so, think it through and look at both sides of the story.

Your friends and counsel can tell you a lot of "feel-good" crap to console you and try to help your self-esteem, but ultimately, you will do what you want to in spite of what they advise.

You're going to go with how you feel and what you believe the future may hold.

But, either way - even if you DID become boring or Un-interesting to this jerk - don't blame yourself. The Truth was brought to light.

You ARE who you are. They ARE who they are. And, they may be weak, deceitful, or lack character.

They may have fetishes or fantasies.

They may get caught-up (emotionally) while talking to an old friend or Ex.

Anything can happen at anytime.

You can only try to find someone who's honest, trustworthy, and devoted, from the start...

But, you STILL don't know!

No one knows what the future holds or what's going to happen except The Supreme. That's just Life.

Meet someone and keep getting to know them as long as you're together. That's the key. Get into their head and stay there. Open up to them and have fun with them. It's a good way to keep them interested.

Once your minds are connected and you believe in each other, you will never ever have Anything to worry about.

Loveqna

Fantasizing Over Old Love Or An Ex Can Bring You Down

I was thinking about this post a lot over the past couple of months.

I kept wondering "what's so bad about reminiscing over Old Love?" And to be honest, there are some good points and some bad points.

Sure, we learn from our mistakes and the things that we do right in our past relationships - and that's a good thing because it helps improve our intuition and instincts. But, how do the memories and the good times that we miss affect us negatively?

Let me share this with you:

Sometimes I DO think about past relationships, Ex-girlfriends, old Admirers, and one-night stands that could've turned into beautiful long-term relationships...

Sometimes I wonder about "what could've been".

Sometimes I think about old love and shake my head thinking: "I let a Good Girl walk right out of my life."

Sometimes I wonder What would my life would have been like if I had committed myself to that special girl.

"Where would we be now?"

"Maybe I'd be a lot better off."

"Maybe I'd be a lot happier."

"Maybe we'd both be happier."

"Maybe I'd be more successful." Or, at least, living a better life.

I can't help thinking about those things sometimes...

A lot of us think about the "what ifs". "What if I had done this or did that or blah, blah, blah..."

But one can't sit around thinking about stuff like that all the time. Or, "living in the past". It'll only make you miserable and keep you from growing. It will make you despise your life.

It may even keep you from moving forward in your new relationship. Or, improving your CURRENT relationship.

I'd be in denial and misleading you if I said that one or more of those "old flames" aren't thinking about you right now, because I'm 100% sure that at least ONE of those past lovers ARE thinking about you. It's a fact. You see the proof in those "on again-off again relationships". I'm talking about the types that are LONG-TERM "on again-off again relationships".

The type of relationship in which "couples" will date or be "friends with benefits" for months or years, then stop seeing each other for months or years, then date again for weeks, months, or years - even though they are married to someone else or involved with someone else - then, not see each other for a while, then (MAYBE), hook-up again.

They're not compatible enough to be a "real couple". But, they can't stop thinking about each other all the time. They can't seem to let each other go.

Or, one is simply using the other one for sex and companionship as they would use a convenient store for a hot dog or a cup of coffee. That's the case sometimes too.

But, I'd be lying if I said reconnecting with an Ex or reuniting with an Ex would ruin your life. Only Time and Circumstance can say for sure.

BUT!

Do you really want to ruin the good thing you have right now sobbing over something that may never happen? Or, something that might not bring any real benefits into your life? Or, something that may not be what you imagine and dream that it would be???

Do you really want to put your life on hold, neglect your lover (or family), or put all of your mental energy into someone you might not ever see again? Or, someone who may have moved on with their life? Or, someone who may have completely changed?

It's sad to say, but there are a lot of people out there that fantasize and daydream about their old high school days and grade school days and their old "puppy-love" relationships instead of trying to deal with their current reality and the love they have right now. And, the old flame that they're reminiscing over and fantasizing about might not be thinking about them at all. And, even if the old flame IS thinking about this "dreamer", the old flame might not be worth a damn... People change. He or she might not look the same, act the same, or have the same personality.

These dreamers need to wake-up and stop all of this fantasizing and living in the past and move on with their lives.

Instead, they're searching high and low on the Internet (and on Facebook) and taking notice of every "familiar" face on the street they see trying to find that old girlfriend or boyfriend or lover and it does nothing but make them more detached from their current life.

If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Let it happen. Don't waste your life searching for old love. You may be disappointed.

Don't make the situation you're in worse by neglecting your current life and reminiscing over your old life. You can make this love-life great by putting more effort and love into it - providing it doesn't suck like hell and you and your current lover are compatible.

The relationship (or marriage) you're in right now could be the greatest love-affair of your life if you gave it half a chance.

Yeah, I know, it's easier said than done.

You don't have to tell me that. I know from experience. Almost every girl I date, commit to, or consider approaching, I compare to an Ex or to my experience of past relationships. I know what I want and what I DON'T want. But, the reality is: You really never know what you're gonna get or how much what you want and need has changed until you're DEEPLY engaged and involved in your new relationship, new Lover, NEW life. So, I do all I can to fight those old memories. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, it don't. Sometimes, I go back to an Ex - for fun or to find Love. So far, it's only been all "fun". I haven't found anything beyond that.

Other people have been luckier, but it's all "chance". You can't predict Love or who you'll love.

That old flame (or Ex) may bring some thrills and excitement back into your life and boost your self-esteem but there's a chance he or she might not. You may be happier with the person you're with right now.

That old squeeze may have become something or someone you don't like and shatter your dreams and fantasies and vision of a utopia long gone.

This guy at work was telling me about an Ex he once loved 20 years ago. They dated for less than a year but he admitted that he still thought of her sometimes. Even when he was married. Now, he's divorced. He has a new girlfriend. And, this old flame found him on Facebook. She's been thinking about this guy every now and then too. She told him she wanted to see him. She wanted to get back together or at least see each other again because she is still in love. But, this guy was shocked when she mentioned that she was lonely and that her husband is sick and dying. And, she has several children now. And, a few of them are young children...

Now, he admits that he still wants to see this woman and possibly hook-up with her again. But, I think his love for her has diminished. And, I think either way she will end up with a broken heart. He says he's gonna see her again but he doesn't think he's gonna stick around. Especially since the husband is sick and dying.

He's surprised that she is willing to cheat under the circumstances because he knows FROM THE PAST she is a good girl, but at the same time, he is willing to see her because he fantasizes and reminisces over what they once had.

I think he is already a little disappointed and she will have a rude awakening when she finds out how disappointed he really is. He's not gonna put a lot of effort into starting something new with her and a bunch of kids. This guy is in his forties. He's got teenage kids. His girlfriend has teenage kids. Do you think he wants to start over again with a handful of toddlers???

It's not gonna last...

It's sad but true.

That's Life.

Don't stop and daydream or you could miss out on what's going on around you right now. Don't fantasize about the past.

People change, situations change, lifestyles change, interests change, beliefs change, habits change, personalities change.

Your hopes and dreams may be shattered.

You may actually be turned-off by what you see. That's been the case many times too. Not just with me but with lots of folks.

And, even if you DO hook-up with an old flame and he or she is still Hot, be sure this "NEW" Love is not going to ruin your life or bring you down. Be sure the rewards are worth the risk.

If you're single, you may not have much to lose except time and money. But, those who are involved had better think hard before they make that leap, go back to an old love, and give up the good thing they've got.

I know I'm sending mixed signals with this so let me conclude this post with a few points:

1. Don't put your lover or life on hold fantasizing about old love. You might be MORE disappointed.

2. Don't run to old love to save you from the misery you're in now. You might waste a lot of precious time and GOOD times. Try to improve the relationship you have right now (if you've thought about it and feel there's a chance it's worth improving).

3. The 14th REASON People WILL CHEAT is because they believe they're in love with an old flame. This particular person could be an old friend from school, an Ex from school, or a summer fling.

Whatever you do, don't live in the past. It may make you miserable and hate your life. Live, have fun, and get the most out of all you have right now.

- loveqna

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Michael Jackson - Remember The Time



Video provided by - michaeljacksonVEVO

How To Tell If A Man Or Woman Is Playing Games

Let's be honest with each other...

Aren't you sick and tired of men and women who play romantic games?

Well, in this post I'm going to spill the beans on the game these pretenders and so-called wannabee players try to run on the innocent romantics out there looking for a relationship and love.

This won't be a comprehensive list, but if you pay attention and observe - AND keep your awareness level high, you'll be able to spot the bullsh*t before those scallywags play you out, give you the run-around, and lead you on a path to wasting your time, energy, and money.

But, you have to be careful!

Many of these manipulators and teasers have some good game and will lie like hell to get what they want out of you. They'll butter you up and mislead you. They'll flatter you, court you, and tell you everything they think you want to hear to seduce you. They are good at deception because they practice deceiving people constantly. People who are lonely and those who are desperate for love or a long-term relationship are especially susceptible to these games because they let their guards down in hopes of finding love. So, you HAVE to be somewhat detached and rational if you want to avoid the B.S.

So, for starters, before you approach a prospect for a date or romance or in hopes getting to know him or her for a long-term relationship, make sure you are "proper". Make sure YOUR game is tight. Have your confidence level high. Be in a good mood and radiate good vibes, but Don't rush in with the intention of expecting to meet the love of your life! Just enjoy the moment. Remember! You don't know ANYTHING about this girl or guy. So, go in with the intention of having a good time (some fun) and just getting to know him or her and MAYBE setting up a date or phone call for later on. You could even say that this is the "practice field" for developing your conversation and social skills. Just think of it as that.

If you've ever been involved with anyone on the Net. Or, thought that you've found true love on there only to have your heart broken or disappointment take hold because the person was NOTHING like what he or she claimed to be, then you totally understand what I'm talking about.

Now, the simple games are: teasing, tricking, and faking.

Teasers will flatter you, talk sexy, and lead you on just for fun and waste your precious time. They'll keep you hanging around and toy with you simply because they enjoy the attention and they have nothing better to do. They may think you're cute but, if someone else more interesting comes along, they'll ignore you and dismiss you like you're trash. This is a game that many women play. To them it's entertainment. Some of them will toy with your emotions and make you jump through hoops just to see how far you will go to try to please them and win their heart. But, don't be fooled, there are badboys out there who play this foul game too.

You can spot these people because they are all talk, talk, and more talk, but when you start talking dates or asking for their phone number, they act coy and play dumb. These are the same people who will give you a FAKE phone number or who will promise to call but don't. Pay attention. If they're playing TOO hard to get, let him or her know that you ain't got no time for foolishness and games, and move on.

Tricks will try to turn you into a trick by asking you for favors, or money, or they want you to SPEND your hard-earned money in order for them to talk to you - Or for you to get to first, second, or third base. And, they still might not give you the time of day! This is very true in night clubs and bars. If you've ever wanted to talk to a girl in a club - and she DEMANDS a drink first - oh, get to steppin'. There's nothing wrong with buying a woman a drink - whether you're feeling her or not, but if you HAVE to buy a drink just to get a conversation... move on. I was in a night club a few years ago and asked this girl to dance. That hag told me that if I wanted a dance, I'd have to buy her drink first! I said, "Damn! You ain't even worked up a sweat yet and you wanna drink already??? You're fine, but I don't deal with pimps!" And, I bounced. I went right up to the next chick I saw (she wasn't as cute but she looked okay)and asked her to dance, and we went on the floor. That's what I do. I don't chase a woman at a club. There are plenty in there. So, You don't have to put up with that sh*t!

You can spot these people easily. They'll ask for favors early on. Some will start begging within the hour. Some will bless you with a favor or gifts just so that you will be willing to give them more in the long run. Be wary of their hidden agendas. Their goal is to satisfy their immediate wants and needs, but if they can't, they'll work on you and keep you around while you provide them with dinner dates, bill money, transportation needs, trinkets, errands, labor, etc. But, when you need THEM, they're busy or you can't get in touch with them. These people will suck your bank account dry and use you up for your time if you don't keep your eyes open.

Fakers come in all shapes and sizes and have different goals. Some want you for a one-night stand. Some want you for money. Some want ONLY your money. Some want to control you and use you for convenience and support. Some just want to escape their current lifestyle. Some don't seem to know what the hell they want - you or their Ex or to be single.

This could be a list in itself. Fakers are...

* players - will use you mainly for sex or convenience

* con-men/con-women - will get you to invest in a scheme and steal your money

* scam artists - will get you to invest in a scheme or make you fall in love and steal whatever you've got

* manipulators - will abuse you for whatever they can get - including your love

* cheaters - aren't satisfied with anything except companionship or sex

* wafflers - don't know WHAT they want and will drive you crazy going back and forth between you and an Ex - or trying to decide if they want love or the single life

* pick-up artists - are like players but usually only want sex - some may be looking for something long-term

The only thing you can do to avoid being played by these players is to take your time and get to know him or her. Be friendly but, Don't allow him or her to do you ANY favors and don't feel obligated to do him or her any favors. Don't accept any gifts or trinkets that might make you sway your judgment. If their birthday comes up, get a card. Dinner maybe. But, don't give the impression that you're going to be his or her sponsor or the begging won't stop. If he or she starts guilt-tripping you, recognize that THAT is the sign of an abuser and you need to move on - as fast as you can.

Now, some people are generous and don't mind helping someone they care about. Some people don't mind sharing their good fortune with others. If that's your style, that's fine. But, be prepared to keep doing it if you want to keep this person in your life. And, I won't say that he or she WON'T change, but I wouldn't put faith in it. If your game is tight and You can establish some sort of equality in the relationship, then you may have a chance of winning his or her heart.

Many people can recognize these mind games at the first introduction. Some people need 3 months or so before they realize they've made a mistake. Again, take your time to get to know the prospect and KEEP YOUR AWARENESS LEVEL ON HIGH. If you remember that, your game will always be tight and you won't get played for sucker by these no-good scallywags.

- loveqna

VIDEO - You Don't Satisfy Me!

Relationship Drama from the Jerry Springer show. Ladies, please pay attention. Here's a guy that has fantasies and fetishes that he wanted to enjoy with his wife, but since he couldn't get them with her, he turned to another woman. I know many women will say there's no excuse for cheating, but some men really do struggle to resist their addictions and most often, the addiction (or fetish) will win.



Video provided by - JerrySpringerShow1

- loveqna

VIDEO - Danny Dumps: Angie. Cheating girl dumped live on radio

Another episode of the extremely popular "Danny Dumps", a program hosted by GalaxyFM, a local FM radio station in Yorkshire, England.

This time we meet Craig. A chap who wanted to ask his girlfriend to marry him on Christmas Day, after a four year relationship. Only to find out his girlfriend was doing her married boss at the company's Christmas party, which he found out through his friends and her colleagues. He then asked radiohost Danny to dump her, live!




http://www.galaxyfm.co.uk/

Video provided by - Fearthefus

- loveqna

VIDEO - Desi Wife Caught Her Spouse Cheating - HQ

Damn... If this doesn't keep a man or woman focused on being honest and monogamous, I don't know what will.



Video provided by - arpit0702

- loveqna

Does It Really Matter If Women KNOW Why Men Cheat?

I just finished sifting through some of the public comments regarding the Tony Parker and Eva Longoria scandal again. I knew people were going to roast his ass after finding out he cheated on her. And, what bothers me is that women are quick to judge and condemn the man - men - and not learn anything from the situation or circumstances. But, then, they'll go around complaining that men cheat and wonder WHY men cheat. And if you try to explain it to them, they'll brush you off by saying that every explanation is "just an excuse". They don't WANT to know why men cheat! They'd rather criticize and hear someone who doesn't know what the hell they're talking about say something clever or make jokes about the man - or men - and remain misled and in denial. They keep listening to these dumbasses make wisecracks and jokes to make them laugh and feel good, and in the end, they keep getting played, cheated on, and dumped, over and over again, with no clue as to why.

If anybody is messing with those women's mind, it's the quacks and wannabee comedians who don't have anything to offer except jokes!

Stop listening to those jackasses!

If you don't try to understand why men cheat, of course you're going to keep getting disrespected and deceived.

And, their friends can't help them understand it because their friends love them and just want to comfort them. So, they'll listen to the woman's problems and complaints and offer their OPINION. And the friends may not know all the facts. The only thing they know is that the woman is pissed off or brokenhearted and needs their help, so they'll say whatever it takes to make the woman feel better. It may sound like good advice but it might not be reality. They don't know what's going on inside that man's head to make him cheat! It ain't always about being greedy for sex or wanting to "play the field" - which is what most people assume. Only he knows the real reason why he cheated. But, if she doesn't want to accept his explanation, and continue to listen to her friends, there's nothing more he can do.

Let me ask you...

Do you want to spend the rest of your life being bitter or worried about whether or not someone you care about is going to cheat on you? Of course not! Then, listen up!

I know there are a lot of  women out there that are sick and tired of going around in circles with men just because they can't find one to have a decent relationship with. Some are swearing against men and only dealing with other women. But there are women in same-sex relationships who are having to deal with cheaters too! You have to be careful of cheaters whatever type of relationship you're in. You can't hide from it!

The best thing you can do to avoid being cheated on is to try to understand the real reasoning behind it and nip it in the bud before it happens and ruins your relationship. You have to take your time and get to know the PERSON to make sure he or she isn't a potential cheater. Pay attentionn to "broken" relationships and the easy way - from people who have cheated and those who have been cheated on. Listen to the man or explain his side... Most women don't want to hear an explanation. They just want to express their anger - And that's understandable. BUT, if the woman doesn't want to hear what the man has to say, then she may end up going through the same thing in the next relationship - whether it's with a man or woman.

Let me give you an example.

Let's say the man cheats and says it's because the woman is too busy. They don't have enough free time together. He's lonely - for whatever reason (affection, companionship, sex, whatever). Now, if the woman doesn't want to hear and says, "Oh, that's bullsh*t! We spend time together! You're not lonely! You're full of sh*t! You just can't keep It in your pants!" What else can the man say? He's told her that he doesn't get the opportunity to spend enough time with her. And the more he tries to convince her of this, usually, the angrier she gets. And, she'll never know the real reason why. Is he lonely for affection, attention, companionship, or sex? Who knows? And, they're either going to break-up or stay together and have trust issues. Observe other couples who get into arguments about infidelity and you'll see what I mean. Look, listen, and learn why cheaters cheat. That way, if you KNOW why cheaters cheat, you'll be able to spot one before he or she cheats on YOU.

This goes for men too! A lot of men need to stop stereotyping and assuming all women are potential cheaters. That's why we have so many jealous and suspicious men in the world. They need to stop following in the footsteps of their friends and these so-called O.G.s who have trust issues, and learn what the woman is about! If you take your time and get to know the woman, you'll know if you have a faithful Queen on your hands or if you're dealing with a cheatin'-ass skeezer.

Sometimes, I get a little carried away...

But, here's my final say on the subject:

Now, I know there's nothing that can GUARANTEE that a woman won't be cheated on. It could happen to anybody. But if she listens and tries to understand WHY someone might cheat, it WILL - at the very least - help to REDUCE the chances of her being cheated on. That's all I'm trying to say.

- loveqna