Fantasizing Over Old Love Or An Ex Can Bring You Down

I was thinking about this post a lot over the past couple of months.

I kept wondering "what's so bad about reminiscing over Old Love?" And to be honest, there are some good points and some bad points.

Sure, we learn from our mistakes and the things that we do right in our past relationships - and that's a good thing because it helps improve our intuition and instincts. But, how do the memories and the good times that we miss affect us negatively?

Let me share this with you:

Sometimes I DO think about past relationships, Ex-girlfriends, old Admirers, and one-night stands that could've turned into beautiful long-term relationships...

Sometimes I wonder about "what could've been".

Sometimes I think about old love and shake my head thinking: "I let a Good Girl walk right out of my life."

Sometimes I wonder What would my life would have been like if I had committed myself to that special girl.

"Where would we be now?"

"Maybe I'd be a lot better off."

"Maybe I'd be a lot happier."

"Maybe we'd both be happier."

"Maybe I'd be more successful." Or, at least, living a better life.

I can't help thinking about those things sometimes...

A lot of us think about the "what ifs". "What if I had done this or did that or blah, blah, blah..."

But one can't sit around thinking about stuff like that all the time. Or, "living in the past". It'll only make you miserable and keep you from growing. It will make you despise your life.

It may even keep you from moving forward in your new relationship. Or, improving your CURRENT relationship.

I'd be in denial and misleading you if I said that one or more of those "old flames" aren't thinking about you right now, because I'm 100% sure that at least ONE of those past lovers ARE thinking about you. It's a fact. You see the proof in those "on again-off again relationships". I'm talking about the types that are LONG-TERM "on again-off again relationships".

The type of relationship in which "couples" will date or be "friends with benefits" for months or years, then stop seeing each other for months or years, then date again for weeks, months, or years - even though they are married to someone else or involved with someone else - then, not see each other for a while, then (MAYBE), hook-up again.

They're not compatible enough to be a "real couple". But, they can't stop thinking about each other all the time. They can't seem to let each other go.

Or, one is simply using the other one for sex and companionship as they would use a convenient store for a hot dog or a cup of coffee. That's the case sometimes too.

But, I'd be lying if I said reconnecting with an Ex or reuniting with an Ex would ruin your life. Only Time and Circumstance can say for sure.

BUT!

Do you really want to ruin the good thing you have right now sobbing over something that may never happen? Or, something that might not bring any real benefits into your life? Or, something that may not be what you imagine and dream that it would be???

Do you really want to put your life on hold, neglect your lover (or family), or put all of your mental energy into someone you might not ever see again? Or, someone who may have moved on with their life? Or, someone who may have completely changed?

It's sad to say, but there are a lot of people out there that fantasize and daydream about their old high school days and grade school days and their old "puppy-love" relationships instead of trying to deal with their current reality and the love they have right now. And, the old flame that they're reminiscing over and fantasizing about might not be thinking about them at all. And, even if the old flame IS thinking about this "dreamer", the old flame might not be worth a damn... People change. He or she might not look the same, act the same, or have the same personality.

These dreamers need to wake-up and stop all of this fantasizing and living in the past and move on with their lives.

Instead, they're searching high and low on the Internet (and on Facebook) and taking notice of every "familiar" face on the street they see trying to find that old girlfriend or boyfriend or lover and it does nothing but make them more detached from their current life.

If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Let it happen. Don't waste your life searching for old love. You may be disappointed.

Don't make the situation you're in worse by neglecting your current life and reminiscing over your old life. You can make this love-life great by putting more effort and love into it - providing it doesn't suck like hell and you and your current lover are compatible.

The relationship (or marriage) you're in right now could be the greatest love-affair of your life if you gave it half a chance.

Yeah, I know, it's easier said than done.

You don't have to tell me that. I know from experience. Almost every girl I date, commit to, or consider approaching, I compare to an Ex or to my experience of past relationships. I know what I want and what I DON'T want. But, the reality is: You really never know what you're gonna get or how much what you want and need has changed until you're DEEPLY engaged and involved in your new relationship, new Lover, NEW life. So, I do all I can to fight those old memories. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, it don't. Sometimes, I go back to an Ex - for fun or to find Love. So far, it's only been all "fun". I haven't found anything beyond that.

Other people have been luckier, but it's all "chance". You can't predict Love or who you'll love.

That old flame (or Ex) may bring some thrills and excitement back into your life and boost your self-esteem but there's a chance he or she might not. You may be happier with the person you're with right now.

That old squeeze may have become something or someone you don't like and shatter your dreams and fantasies and vision of a utopia long gone.

This guy at work was telling me about an Ex he once loved 20 years ago. They dated for less than a year but he admitted that he still thought of her sometimes. Even when he was married. Now, he's divorced. He has a new girlfriend. And, this old flame found him on Facebook. She's been thinking about this guy every now and then too. She told him she wanted to see him. She wanted to get back together or at least see each other again because she is still in love. But, this guy was shocked when she mentioned that she was lonely and that her husband is sick and dying. And, she has several children now. And, a few of them are young children...

Now, he admits that he still wants to see this woman and possibly hook-up with her again. But, I think his love for her has diminished. And, I think either way she will end up with a broken heart. He says he's gonna see her again but he doesn't think he's gonna stick around. Especially since the husband is sick and dying.

He's surprised that she is willing to cheat under the circumstances because he knows FROM THE PAST she is a good girl, but at the same time, he is willing to see her because he fantasizes and reminisces over what they once had.

I think he is already a little disappointed and she will have a rude awakening when she finds out how disappointed he really is. He's not gonna put a lot of effort into starting something new with her and a bunch of kids. This guy is in his forties. He's got teenage kids. His girlfriend has teenage kids. Do you think he wants to start over again with a handful of toddlers???

It's not gonna last...

It's sad but true.

That's Life.

Don't stop and daydream or you could miss out on what's going on around you right now. Don't fantasize about the past.

People change, situations change, lifestyles change, interests change, beliefs change, habits change, personalities change.

Your hopes and dreams may be shattered.

You may actually be turned-off by what you see. That's been the case many times too. Not just with me but with lots of folks.

And, even if you DO hook-up with an old flame and he or she is still Hot, be sure this "NEW" Love is not going to ruin your life or bring you down. Be sure the rewards are worth the risk.

If you're single, you may not have much to lose except time and money. But, those who are involved had better think hard before they make that leap, go back to an old love, and give up the good thing they've got.

I know I'm sending mixed signals with this so let me conclude this post with a few points:

1. Don't put your lover or life on hold fantasizing about old love. You might be MORE disappointed.

2. Don't run to old love to save you from the misery you're in now. You might waste a lot of precious time and GOOD times. Try to improve the relationship you have right now (if you've thought about it and feel there's a chance it's worth improving).

3. The 14th REASON People WILL CHEAT is because they believe they're in love with an old flame. This particular person could be an old friend from school, an Ex from school, or a summer fling.

Whatever you do, don't live in the past. It may make you miserable and hate your life. Live, have fun, and get the most out of all you have right now.

- loveqna

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Michael Jackson - Remember The Time



Video provided by - michaeljacksonVEVO

3 of 13 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex

I think I have run out of the reasons why men and women cheat for sex, but I will add to this post if necessary when I update it with more details later.

After this, we'll move on to 37 more reasons why men and women cheat. They will be in categories as well.

Plus, I'll tell you why men and women DON'T CHEAT so look out for that.

Don't forget to check out the previous posts to help you build on your instincts or intuition. Remember, the stronger your intuition and vibes, the more success you will have at helping your friends and others.

And, this will eventually make the world a better place.

Here are the 3 out of 13 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex:

11) Curiosity about what the person is like in bed. This is different from being curious about a certain type of sex or certain lifestyle. Here, the cheater is interested in "exploring" the person.

12) Revenge or spite

13) Has a rare opportunity (possibly one chance) to experience his or her fantasy - celebrity; dream girl; dream guy; fantasy situation

Like I said, there may be more, but we'll see.

I've now been awake for 24 hours. I'm going to rest before work.

Take care!

- loveqna

5 MORE Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex

Honestly, I hate to post this info without an explanation, but I've been so tired due to work, that I don't have all of the strength and motivation I need to go through the motions. My thoughts are mostly clear in that I know what I want to say.

But, as usual, I have TOO much to say.

And, sadly, I wasted my day off lying in bed.

I DID finally finish the post on "Toxic Relationships" but my mind went on and on and on.

Unlike most people, I don't have writer's block. I have "mental floods".

I keep thinking and thinking of things to talk about and I end up not talking about anything. Maybe it's A.D.D. ???

I'll update this post later but trust me on this for now.

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5 MORE Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex:

6) He’s not interested in sex with his woman or She's not interested in sex with her man.

These cheaters aren't simply bored, they just flat-out don't like having sex with their partner.

Usually, there’s a physical turn-off but there could also be a "performance" turn-off.

- "junk" size (too small OR too big)

- lack of movement or "work" in the bed (poor "action")

- body type or size

- hygiene

- no "sexual chemistry"

7) He or She is a sex addict.

A lot of people out there say there is no such thing as a "sex-addict". The truth of it all is: Humans have a lot of things they're addicted to.

Some people are addicted to drugs. Some are addicted to alcohol. Some are addicted to shopping. Some are addicted to shoes. Some are addicted to work (workaholics). And, some are addicted to Sex.

NOW...

Don't get it twisted. Just because a person has a sexual addiction and is addicted to sex, that doesn't mean he or she is necessarily having sex with another person on a regular basis. He or she could be having sex alone 5 or 6 times (or more) per week.

If he or she is constantly downloading "flicks" on the Internet or is constantly viewing his or her dirty movies and magazines those are signs of an addiction.

If he or she is constantly trying to get his or her partner in bed for a quick romp, that's a sign of a sexual addiction. Some people want to "do it" every day. Some two or three times a day. And, some partners get worn out by this and don't know what the hell to do.

Anyway...

Some sex addicts DO get their fix from other places besides their partner. Sometimes it's with another addict, or a hoochie, or an admirer, or someone who is looking for a new adventure.

Sometimes, they have to "handle their business" on their own.

More on Sex Addicts here.

8) He or she wanted to satisfy his or her curiosity about a Fetish.

I don't want to say too much more about this one yet because there are two or three other very similar reasons why someone would cheat. And, people might believe these are the same reason. But, some of those reasons DON'T INVOLVE sex.

9) He or she likes variety - different "experiences".

One day, I'm gonna post "The Mysteries Of Sex". I created those notes for a topic such as this, but I'll get around to it later. Anyway... The person who cheats for variety is like a cross between a sex-addict and someone who doesn't believe in sex with one person.

The most important thing to remember is this: A cheater who prefers "variety" is usually a "player". And, usually, the victim is done wrong in a new relationship. Although, there are players who are married as well.

These cheating players are usually still having sex with their wives or husbands, or girlfriends, or boyfriends, but they like to mix things up as well by "playing the field" and having sex with others.

They hang out at the same places singles do. They don't wear wedding rings or take off their wedding bands when they want to hollah at a chick or a hunk. They're always flirting as if they're single. Many of them stay "fresh", "fly", and stylish to attract prospects...

And, the bad thing about it all is this - and this is how you'll know I'm not just talking out of my ass:

Sometimes, these players will give their partner a disease.

Or, get pregnant. Or, get someone pregnant.

Then, they move on to the next relationship. Although, some DO straighten-up and change their ways. But... Is it really necessary now???

I guess it depends on the victim and how he or she feels.

This last post, women won't like because many men lie about this scenario and try to use it as an excuse for cheating.

READ MY LIPS! There isn't a "good excuse". There is NO EXCUSE for cheating.

But, this DOES happen. It's Reality. It happens, so ain't no use in hiding from it or denying it.

10) He or she got drunk or high (and horny).

I've dissected a frog before but I don't know anything about Biology or Chemistry. I don't know what it is in alcohol or some drugs that makes people hot and horny.

I don't know what they put in that stuff that makes people want to "get it on" but I DO know there's SOMETHING in there!

And, if a man or woman who's involved in a relationship ain't got enough sense to avoid it or consume in moderation, they'll end up making a fool of himself (or herself) or end up doing something he or she might regret.

Some people like to go to clubs and parties and get drunk and pursue prospects for sex. Most of those guys and girls are hoes.

Then, you have some people who love to drink and/or get high and can't handle the sh*t, and they get taken advantage of or outright ignore the fact that they're in a relationship and run off to spend the night with someone he or she thinks is cute.

To be honest, ain't no telling what these drunkards might do or who they might spend the night with.

They'll even give their curiosities and fantasies a try when they're drunk. So, you never know WHO or WHAT they may end up sleeping with THAT night. They might come home in the morning butt-naked covered in wax and whipped cream riding on back of a damn billy-goat.

Damn!

Sexual Roulette.

That's why a lot of men don't like women who drink. lol. They don't want to take ANY chances of those girls getting drunk and giving their "stuff" away.

I'm serious.

Anyway, there are a few more reasons why people cheat for sex that I'd like to post this week so that we can move on to the other reasons, but my work week has started again (Wed - Sun), so we'll see.

Well, I may still update this later. I didn't think I would be adding this much to this post, but I'll meditate on it and decide if more should be added later.

Keep working on those romantic instincts. Keep observing but don't over-analyze.

I've got 45 minutes to get a nap and go to work. I'll see you later.

- loveqna

Daydreaming About Romance Might Make You Lovesick

I have to stop thinking about this chick. If I don't I'm gonna MAKE myself fall in love with her.

This is a girl I've mentioned before.

She looks nice. Or, maybe I just THINK so because I've been thinking about approaching her for a date.

She's not someone I would normally be attracted to, but her personality is great. Or, maybe I'm just imagining it is...

???

I don't know.

Maybe I'm lonely.

Well, not enough to give up my Freedom. lol

I don't know.

I mean, she doesn't have a lot of the physical features I like.

I have to have something to turn me on and keep me interested.

Plus, I like to ogle and stare at My Girl just as other guys would.

I love her hair though. And she does have a nice booty. I mean, it's not round and bubbly, but it's curvy and well-proportioned. And, that's cool.

But, I'm a "Leg Man". I LUUUUV pretty legs.

And, I can't remember what her's look like. That's not a good sign. If a woman has beautiful legs, the image of them would stay in my mind for... a long time. Even if she's a stranger. Well, she has to have an "IT" factor going on too, but beautiful legs are my fetish.

If I walk in to work today and she's there wearing shorts, do you think that would be a sign?

What if those legs turn me off?

UGH!

I hate being human sometimes. Too many choices, decisions, and preferences.

I'm too picky.

I could lose my legs tomorrow. Or, today!

If I did, would she be willing to talk to me?

I have to stop being so damn picky.

Have you ever noticed that there are many people who are picky about who they would date but in reality, they have no right to be picky? I mean, they're so ugly that they look like they bathe and wash their face in "Ugly" everyday instead of soap and water?

Hell, I know I'm not the cutest cupcake on the block, but I have my moments. I can look cute every now and then.

I've got a little bit of style when it comes to fashion.

My personality is cool.

So, I make it do what it do with what I've got.

I guess that's why I'm so picky.

But...

Should I be picky about this girl? I could miss out on a good thing.

She IS smart as hell. And, she's in college. And, she's got a lot of energy. And, a nice butt. Oh, and nice boobs.

Damn...

Ugh!

I'll drive myself crazy about this chick.

The relationship could be a Winner. Or, it could be a dud.

I don't know...

I just don't wanna make a bad decision.

Lord, help me.

Bad Luck... You stay away.

- loveqna

Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat - Hidden Major Factors

Some "experts" touch on these Factors of Cheating, but usually, they only include "upbringing" and...

Well, I can't think of what other theories they have, but often when a cheater cheats, there's more than one reason. And much of the time, the idea to cheat isn't something that just happens overnight although cheating is bound by no rules.

Usually there are combination of reasons that develop over time while in the relationship.

It may start off as ONE thing, but as the relationship goes on and starts to fizzle, one partner notices OTHER things that turn him or her off - habits, appearance, personality, style, etc.

Or, he or she might notice other things OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP that turn him or her on like sexy men or women. Or, people with more attractive personalities and styles. Or, someone who is more understanding and kind to them.

Anyway, take a look at these notes. Keep an open mind. Get a second or third opinion if you need to. And continue to develop your Female Intuition or Male Instincts.

I think I might make a move on this chick at work today, but with my bad luck, she'll probably "chop my head off" and turn me down before I can get a word out. We'll see what happens.

I HAVE the courage. I just have to look for the opening and make a move.

Stay tuned!

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(notes from "Double-Life" - a book I was working on at one time)

“The Major Factors of Cheating”

Back in the day, many people believed that the cause of infidelity was due to sex or neglect. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Today, as we see more and more troubled relationships and marriages, we now know that there are other factors involved.

The reason (or reasons) for cheating may be based on internal factors such as:

- Character and Personality (level of honesty; ethics; integrity; commitment)
- Desires, Goals, Dreams (what he or she wants or hopes to experience)
- Needs (such as emotional, physical, social, or financial needs)
- Fears and Insecurities (such as the fear of commitment, responsibility, or being stuck in a dead-end relationship; fear of his or her partner cheating or leaving)
- Disappointments (let-downs; depressed or unsure of his or her life and wanting a change in lifestyle)
- Preferences (things he or she likes and dislikes; turn-offs and turn-ons)
- Habits and Addictions
- Beliefs based on Upbringing and the Influential People in his or her life (state of mind; opinions; actions and re-actions)

Or external factors such as:

- Peer Pressure to do wrong or to deceive
- Lifestyle Choices
- Changes in partner or lifestyle
- Time and Circumstances
- Compatibility (or Incompatibility)
- Interests
- Home Environment (conflicts; radical changes; stress)
- Work Environment (temptations; stress)


How we act, react, perceive, and feel about these things makes each of us who we are.

Any of these things can have a negative (or positive) affect on a person’s personality, attitude, decisions, and commitment depending on how the person perceives and deals with life, relationships, and views his or her current situation.

But the only way to know what’s really on your partner's mind is through interaction and communication.

You can tell if your partner is happy to be in the relationship or if he or she wants out - or, if he or she is the type to lead people on and play games.

If the two people have good communication, a good “connection”, understanding, and “chemistry”, all pieces of the “puzzle” seem to fall into place and the relationship is something special. But, if things aren’t going so well in his or her life – or, if he or she feels trapped or dissatisfied in a dead-end relationship – he or she might turn to someone else for comfort, attention, excitement, or escape.

Each man and woman is different, thinks different, views life differently, living under different circumstances, and dealing with totally different situations and people everyday.

And since we all don’t (or can’t) deal with pressure, stress, or disappointment the same, our reactions to all of this drama in our lives won’t be the same.

Some people will even get angry about their situation and try to block out everything around them in order to find peace. Under stress (or disgust), their mind will become focused on one thing and that's getting out of the situation they're in.

So, a potential cheater (in a moment of weakness or due to poor character) will cheat or leave his or her relationship depending on what turns him on, what turns him off, his environment, his partner’s attitude, his influences, the current circumstances in his relationship and lifestyle, his personal preferences, desires, fears, fantasies, and most importantly: his character.

There may be an issue he or she has with the relationship. There may be an issue with him or her (such as loneliness, lack of respect for commitment, greed for sex, the need to be understood, or whatever). Or, he or she may be susceptible to peer pressure from family and friends - or flattery from a co-worker, friend, or acquaintance.

So, there could ANY reason (or combination of reasons) that a man or woman might cheat or leave a relationship.

- loveqna

How Do You Know When You're In Love?

You could go to almost any discussion group or forum on the Net and there will be someone posting a topic about Love or "What is Love?". And, all of these prophets and preachers and life coaches will come out of the wood-works trying to explain what Love is with all of these philosophical answers - answers that really have NOTHING to do with the question or post.

We all know that the "love" we feel for our trinkets, parents, friends, careers, and associations are all different, right?

So, why do people keep posting all of that other stuff over and over again. Do they think you're so dumb that you don't have enough sense to know that there are different types and degrees of Love?

And, who can put a limitation on how much you should love your dog, cat, or hobby, or place of congregation over another human being? Love has no limits! Love has no boundaries! You can't CHOOSE who or what to love... If it's REAL Love it consumes you - with or without your consent.

There are people who leave inheritances to dogs, cats, and associations, and leave their children hanging out to dry. WHY??? Because of Love (sometimes, "spite"). You've seen or heard about those types of people in the News. They'll leave millions of dollars to a friend, or lover, or Anything, and won't leave their own flesh and blood a pot to piss in.

Let's be honest. You know when you spread your love around that everybody ain't gonna get an equal portion. You save the big helpings of Love for those you REALLY love and ration off a little love for people you like or care a little bit about. Some of us show love to people we HAVE to "love" because they're a member of the family. Lord knows there are some family members that would starve to death if I had to ration them off some love for any other reason than they were a cousin, aunt, or uncle.

But, most of us want to know what it feels like to experience True Love romantically. That's what the questions on those forums are really about.

What is Real Love?

What does it do to your mind? How does it affect your life? How does it feel to be loved by someone you love?

First, don't misunderstand. I'm no expert. Challenge whatever I say. Research for yourself. Talk to a life coach or preacher. Seek, seek and ye shall find.

But, here's my take on it...

Let me give you several scenarios involving Love that I've experienced and that I'm sure you (or someone you know) has experienced.

One: You love someone and they don't know that you love him/her. You're willing to do anything for this person. You want to help him or her in any way possible. You want to pamper and spoil this apple of your eye. You want to treat this person like they've never been treated before. You want to make him or her fall in love with you. And they'll like you because you're a good friend or nice or caring or whatever. He or she will like you because you're a sweetheart. But this guy or girl doesn't know you're doing all of this because you're in love. And this friendship will last for months or maybe even years.

Two: You love someone and he/she knows it and avoids you. It may make you sad. It may make you angry. You may lose your mind and yourself trying to convince him or her to love you or accept your love, but he or she wants no part of a relationship with you. Maybe he or she wants to be friends OR maybe he or she doesn't want to be involved with you at all.

Three: Someone loves you and you don't love him/her. You want to get away from this person or convince him or her to leave you alone or let you go. But, he or she keeps pursuing you or trying to date you or worse, he/she stalks you. This could be a "fatal attraction". You KNOW this person is crazy in love with you. How would you feel about a love like that? You might spend most of your time trying to avoid this person. You might even have to get a restraining order against this "Nut".

Four: You meet someone you are ready to give your heart and soul to and he or she feels the same way. You can't stay away from each other. You have the same ideals, goals, dreams, interests, etc. You both connect on all levels and you understand each other completely. You're best friends and SoulMates. That's the love we all dream about, right?

All of these people claim they love the object of their desire. And, in every case it could be true.

There's no rule that says BOTH people have to love each other in order for ONE of them to feel Love towards the other. Love doesn't guarantee Happiness. And, it's not based on a mutual understanding... Or, an Agreement.

It would make the Love a lot more special if both people loved each other on the same level, but one can love the other unconditionally without receiving love in return. It's like that in many relationships - including marriage. One wants to stay. The other wants to go. Someone may be in love with you right now, but just because you aren't returning his or her love doesn't mean that his or her love for you isn't real.

There have been men and women who have abandoned their spouse, their friends, their children, their parents - and even their lifestyles - to be with someone ELSE they loved. All of these "loved ones" in their life that love and care for them, yet they choose to leave to be with someone they love more. It happens all the time.

But, that's how potent Love is. Love can make you lose your Mind.

Some people are obsessed by it and don't even know it! They don't know that Love is turning them into a jackass or a jerk. Or, making them good or evil. Or, brainwashing them. It's like being on a Drug and a lot of people can't handle it.

They don't care that they're hurting the people that love them. They can't control their feelings. No one can control something as powerful as True Love.

The only thing in their heart and mind is doing whatever they have to do to keep this person they truly love in their life. And if that means leaving everything else behind, so be it. They'll run off and leave their family and friends high and dry.

And that's the worst thing about Love - Love can make you blind... And crazy. Nothing else in the world can make a person "foolish" like Love can.

How many times have you seen or heard about someone being in an abusive relationship but was too crazy to even CONSIDER leaving? Their partner may be abusive, uncaring, deceitful, and manipulative, but to the person in love, this low-down dirty butthole is a saint. Or, the abused person feels that ONE Day this bum will change and their lives will be great and they'll live happily ever after.

You could talk until you were blue in the face but the person in love won't give up the relationship no matter what you say or do. They'd give up on your friendship first before they let that scoundrel or chickenhead hoodrat go.

Love can make a person do some strange things.

But what makes people so crazy insane with Love?

Who knows how it it happens.

Being treated like you've never been treated before?
Being with someone you've fantasized about? Or someone who's just amazing?
Being with someone who makes you forget all of your problems?
Being with someone who makes you laugh?
Being with someone who makes you look at Life and World diffently?
Being with someone who's powerful?
Experiencing something and someone on a level you've never imagined?

Who knows why people fall in love. Everybody has their own reasons.

It could start out as lust, infatuation, or a crush (things that revolve around beauty and/or a fantasy), but certain events and new situations can turn two people completely around and transform their lives.

Even two people who didn't like each other in the beginning somehow end up dating and fall in love.

Sometimes you see beautiful women and handsome men fall in love with mud-ducks, hoodrats, nerds, and scrubs. These people may have thought they had nothing in common, but once they got to know each other - BAM - it was on and poppin'. Now, they can't stay away from each other.

I was bitten by the "love-bug"...

I don't remember WHEN or HOW I fell in love, it just snuck-up on me. In the beginning we hung out occasionaly. Maybe once or twice a week. But, the more I got to know Her, the more I wanted to spend time with Her.

She was fun to be with. She made me happy. Whenever I was stressed out, She knew how to make me feel calm and relaxed. Sometimes She even made me laugh at myself. But, She was always an inspiration to me. She was like my muse and my mentor. I felt open enough to share everything I was feeling inside with Her. She was like Therapy. No one ever made me feel like that.

Don't get me wrong, She pissed me off many times too, and we had our disagreements but no matter how bad things got, I was glad She was a part of my life and I didn't know what I'd do without Her. She meant the World to me.

I loved Her so much, I started hanging out with Her EVERY single day.

Everything about our relationship seemed normal to me. But, really, I had became obsessed with Her.

I gave Her my money. I neglected my other interests. I neglected my friends. I thought about Her when I was at work. I thought of Her just before I fell asleep. I fantasized about our relationship. I daydreamed about spending the rest of my life with Her and was afraid of what would happen to me without Her. Almost everything I did in life was for Her. And, I was more than happy to do it.

She meant everything to me.

So, this is what I have to say about Love...

To me, Love is Devotion - Being devoted to someone without concern for anything else in Life. You go to sleep and your mind is on him or her. You wake up and your first thought is this person you love. Everything you do is for this guy or girl. All of your time and energy is devoted to this ONE person and relationship. You start your family and work towards certain goals in life because of this person. Thoughts of him or her consume you everyday, every hour, almost every minute of your life. You can't help it. This man or woman amazes you. Everything about him or her is beautiful and turns you on. At times you may even fear losing this person and you pray to God that he or she - this person you love - is okay or that YOU will always be there to make sure he or she is okay.

Some people say that True Love motivates you and inspires you, and I believe that as well, but I've also seen that (sometimes) Love comes with the wrong KIND of inspiration and motivation.

I don't think you ever really know what Love is like or if you're in love until you're tested by the "temptations of Life". What are you willing do FOR this person? How far are you willing to go to KEEP this person in your life? What are you willing to do to BE with this person? What are you willing to do to PROVE your Love? You never know until you're living a life of Love and Love seems to be all around you.

You can't control it. It controls You.

That's why it amazes me that people who cheat can say they're in love.

How can a cheatin-ass man or woman claim to be in love - and devoted - when he or she is out chasing hoes and hoodrats in the streets??? What's lovely about that?

Don't get me wrong, I know Temptation is hell and Addictions are hard to fight, but a lot of people are out there playing games and waffling - claiming to be in love - and making up all kinds of excuses (lying like hell) because they're ashamed they got caught.

On the OTHER hand...

I've known some people who HAVE cheated but who never thought of giving up what they had at home to devote their lives to someone else. Some of these people were married, some were just dating, some had children, some didn't, some lived together, some didn't. But some of those cheaters got into arguments with their "friends" because they flat out refused to leave the person they truly loved.

So, it's all a mystery.

I guess there are certain levels of Devotion since there are certain levels of Love.

Some people know how to share love and some don't. Some people are selfish, jealous, and destructive when it comes to love. And, some are inspired to do good when they feel it. Like everything else in Life, you just never know what you'll get.

This is probably why some people have said you shouldn't look for Love or that it's dangerous to look for Love - You might end up with a type of love you'll regret.

It's possible that the man or woman you love may never REALLY know how much you love him or her until you take your very last breath - and vice versa. Sometimes it takes tragedy to open our eyes and realize how much we're loved.

That's a shame but most of the time, that's the way it is.

The proof could be staring the one you love right in the face. You could speak with words and actions, and they STILL won't believe it, appreciate it, or show you how much THEY care.

I have two beliefs about Love...

With the right Love in your Life, you can conquer The World. With the wrong Love in your Life, you can destroy your own.

But, this is how I feel about Love.

What about you?

- loveqna