Some people fall in love (or lust) with their friends and want to date them, or have sex with them, or have a romantic relationship with them. Sometimes it works out to the good. Sometimes it can be the worst mistake of your life.
I know some of your mouths may be watering like hell from admiring some of that fine booty of a friend who's hotter than "all get-out", but you have restrain yourself so that you don't go down a treacherous path.
When you're friends with a nice guy or nice girl, much of the time, you'll do a little extra to show you're a good friend. You'll put up with idiosyncrosies, bad habits, poor personality traits, certain social skills that irritate you, and their complaints. You'll even avoid arguing about their opinions versus your beliefs. You'll empathize with each other. Do favors for each other that you won't even do for your own family members.
Since this is your Best Friend (or Close Friend), you'll do whatever possible not to ruin the relationship. But, once you hook-up...
Most, if not All, of that sh*t goes out the window.
The person who was once your Best Friend but who's now your lover, will start to "bug" you and get on your nerves. He or she will start talking out the ass. He or she gets lazy as hell and never wants to go anywhere or do anything fun. He or she starts to ignore you and often is yappin' on the phone with a NEW Best Friend or Close Friend. And you get peeved and perturbed with each other to the point of losing interest and wanting to get away from each other.
And if you have kids and then can't stand each other, forget about it. You might as well kiss your dreams, happiness, and peace of mind goodbye. That chick might make your life a living hell for 18-plus years.
It's a situation very similar to a couple who gets married and hate each other (or have a hard time living with each other) BUT, they make great friends and have lasting friendships - Even after divorce.
So, sometimes it's not the end of the World, but you may have to suffer a little bit.
Some friends just stop talking all together after an intimate encounter. Usually, this is because one of them is turned off by the other one sexually. Or, there's no "Chemistry". And, one friend can't tell the other one he or she sucks in bed or laugh the situation off, so it becomes awkward.
The one friend who's turned off feels awkward/strange because he or she has to reject the other and that's what make things even more complicated. When the rejecting friend feels like this, he or she will completely avoid the other friend. They may have a conversation or two afterwards, but usually, the friendship just fades away.
If you're thinking about dating a close friend or a roommate, don't jump in right away. Take your time and get to know him or her first. Learn to control them hormones and look out for bullsh*t and foolishness that you KNOW will piss you off in the long run if you ever decided to hook-up with this person.
After you become a true friend and you're able to "tell it like is" and be straight-up and honest with each other in all matters and situations without "falling-out" or getting angry, THEN you may be ready for a more intimate relationship. But, only if you can also laugh, have fun, and be turned-on by each other mentally, physically (of course), and even spiritually. Having a spiritual connection - not necessarily a religious connection - is the bomb, trust me.
But, work on the friendship first.
You know, Some people will be "friends" with you ONLY if they believe they have a shot at being in a relationship with you.
Some people get attached to their friends because their friends treat them with respect and take an interest in them.
Some people are attracted to their best friend because the Best Friend has a great personality, or he or she is intelligent or suave and stylish, or just plain cute and sexy.
Once "the seed is planted", it's hard to conquer the desire.
So, before you start swooning and going "gah-gah" over a hot honey dip who's supposed to be good friend, take a look at these suggestions, have patience and reserve, and no matter what happens, if you took your time and thought the situation through, at least you will have made a good decision either way it goes.
REMEMBER: 90 Percent of it is mental. Self control is the key to a grander life.
All right. Here we go...
When you feel yourself fantasizing about her, do Something Else that doesn't include masturbation or looking at OTHER Hot Chicks. Run some errands, go to the store, mow the lawn, trim hedges, or create a list: "10 Things I Hate About You".
Search for another Hot Chick to admire and swoon over.
Never mention her or talk about her unless you're using her as a reference, an example, or telling a story.
If anyone asks "what's up with you two", reiterate the fact that you're "just friends" or "roommates". Let it be known that you think of this chick as a sweet girl and nothing more. If a relationship develops later on down the road, good. If not, that's okay too.
Don't ogle her or admire her "assets" when she's not looking. You'll only make yourself hornier and more frustrated. Plus, one day she might catch you and realize what a pervert you really are.
Don't help her groom or pamper her. If she asks you to help her wash her hair or massage her back or feet, just say "no". Tell her you're tired or that your back is aching and you can't bend. Or, tell her that you don't know how. Don't do anything that might turn you on and ruin your friendship.
Become a eunich. (just kidding - unless you think it'll help)
Don't get drunk together. If the both of you drink, plan in advance to stay on "your side" of the room (front room, family room, game room, den, whatever). If she crosses the line, go get a snack or something to munch on. When you come back, sit in another chair, go pee, or wash your face, or go to bed. She may be as horny as a wildcat so you must avoid her or she will eat you for lunch.
Consider the repercussions of your actions. After a hardy romp in the sack, she will change towards you. And it might not be a good thing. You will see her in a different light. She won't be same sweet ray of sunshine you had for a friend. She will be a jerk. And eventually, she will ruin your life. These are just thoughts now. Trick the Mind. Keep the friendship. Don't hate on the woman for real.
Okay...
Remember: She doesn't look "hot" all the time. Take notice of her those days when she turns you off and disgusts you too. If you criticize out loud, be playful. And, don't take yourself or the situation too seriously. It's great when we can let our hair down, chill, and be bummy for a day.
If you're both sitting on the same couch/sofa watching TV and YOU get bored, the best thing you could do is leave the room. Even better: go to sleep. Why? I don't know but whenever two people are sitting around in the dark watching TV and they get bored with the show, horny-ness starts to creep in and they somehow end up in "steamy" "no-holds-barred" situations. Sometimes, butt-naked.
Don't get involved with her emotionally. Avoid conversations about relationships or issues she's having with her dates or prospects. If she traps you and you HAVE to talk about stuff like that, don't feel sorry for her or get too emotional when you comfort her. This can lead to an immediate kiss and intimacy. Or, it will break down the wall/barrier you've built-up and you'll be more susceptible to "falling in love".
Be effeminate. (i'm just kiddin'. But get in touch with your "softer side") Learn how to enjoy gossiping and talking about soap operas and other dramatic TV shows and all of the people and funny situations at work. Learn to talk about ailments and fashion. Don't be afraid to give your opinion about style. Be supportive of female causes - if they're fair and not full of propaganda. Learn how to be enthusiastic and how to hug without getting a boner (just kiddin' again). But, I'm sure you get the point.
There's more I could say, but I hate to go ON and ON and ramble.
The gist of it all is: Keep sex, fantasies, and fetishes out of your Mind when it comes to a friend. Zip it up and Zip it out.
Remember: This is only a Test... This test in Life is a challenge of your inner strength and will-power. If you can "survive" and conquer this test, you will have a lot more female friends, more options, and an even hotter chick to call your own. And You will have better relationships with women like many other guys out here. Some have scores of good relationships with women on a platonic level.
It may take a little time, but you can be the same way and eventually be a great catch for the "Girl Of Your Dreams".
Rationale: You will be more relaxed around women, gentler with women, more understanding of female issues, a sweeter person, more sociable with women, and have more meaningful (deeper) conversations with all - men and women.
And the best part is...
You'll be single. So, you won't feel guilty about looking at all of that OTHER hot fine tender booty out there.
- loveqna
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