Leave A Bad Relationship And Be Free To Be You

 Many people, after they get out of a bad relationship, feel empty inside or somewhat "lost" and not sure what to do next in this new chapter in their lives.

They have second thoughts about the break-up or regret that they ever left.

That's why a lot of couples who aren't good for each other keep getting back together.

One of them or both feel lonely as hell or one of them feels like he or she can't make it alone (not financially, but socially, emotionally, and physically).

Usually, it's the woman because sometimes, especially at night, she wants to be held, or cuddled, or feel that she is loved, safe, and cared for. And, some men need that affection and companionship too.

Not to mention people who are newly single and need someone talk to. For many of them, sometimes, hours upon hours alone can seem like torture.Or, at least extreme boredom.

But, if you've tried everything and the relationship still sucks, and you have left, and you don't want to ever go back..., but you still feel lonely and out of sorts about your new life..., consider the blessings and options you've been given...

You're feeling awkward because you're not sure what to do next.

You just have to get used to your new territory and environment.

If you're a "home-body" go out and get some magazines or books and think about how you would like to make your new place more like the Home you want it to be. If you have cable you can watch HGTV for ideas (or some other "do it yourself home show").

Think about getting some indoor plants or something to enhance your personal space, inner energy, and vibe, since you don't have any human energy around. Start a garden. The experience of shopping will take your mind off of the boredom and feelings of being out of sync.

If you like being "out and about", get out of the house. Go out on a date or hang out with friends for a few days until you get tired of hanging out.

Clean up your wardrobe. Throw that old stuff out. New place. New clothes. New attitude.

And a new lease on life.

Change your style. Break some habits. Meditate. Become Fierce. It's a New Beginning for you.

Be whomever (and whatever) you want to be. Or, simply be who you really are. Spread your wings, but don't change. That's cool.

 

For those of you looking for more ideas...

Read a novel.

Write a book.

Make a video.

Work out.

Dance.

Learn Astrology.

Help organize an event.

Learn more about the benefits and options offered to men and women in your situation.

Play online poker.

Plan a house-warming party with friends. Let some of them chip-in and bring some new gifts, food, and drink for you. Did you ever see that movie "My Fake Fiance'"? Same concept.

Get some cookbooks (or watch Food Network) and improve your cooking skills. You could share your food and recipes with friends.

Just keep moving forward with your life. 

Remember now that you have the power to be and do whatever you want! It's a New Adventure!

And, if you don't like being stuck in the house, plan a trip or a vacation.

You're a self-made man/woman now. You're your own boss. Revel in the fact that you can do whatever the heck you want to do!

You can be as outlandish and/or creative as you like. You can explore many more options.

You can start learning to paint. Or, you can learn how to play a musical instrument. Or, you can focus on writing reviews - whatever you want.

This transition - this new chapter in your life - doesn't have to be a "drift" in your life. It shouldn't be. It should be like a rocket-ship taking you to the Moon - or, as far out as you want go.

You have so much more control over your life and destiny now.

Focus on moving forward. Enjoy the moment. Consider your new power of independence.

You can do whatever you like.

You don't need anyone's permission to do anything. You can be as lazy as you like without feeling guilty about it.

You can do what you want without someone looking over your shoulder.

You don't have to explain anything to anybody!

You don't need that sweaty bum's approval. You don't have to listen to that loud-mouth broad complaining all day.

You can lay in bed on the computer all day  watching "Bad Girls Club" if you want to.

You have all the time in the world to do whatever YOU want to do.

There's this guy I work with who makes me sick to my stomach.

The Boy is 22 years old and he acts as timid as a nine year-old rugrat.

He's always complaining that his step-mom yells at him and makes him clean his bathroom or room - or, makes him save a certain percentage of his money. Or, that she often belittles him. Or, if he makes a decision to do something, SHE changes his plans and tells him that he can't do it.

Yesterday, he said he was going to hang out with some relatives and a friend and that THEY would probably MAKE him wear a suit or dress casual for the occasion.

I looked at this fucking jerk like he was a damned fool...

I said, "Dawg... You're 22 years old. You're a grown fucking man. Stop acting like a kid."

Then, he said, "Yeah, it's just hard to do that when she keeps making me do whatever she wants me to do."

She tells the man when to go out and get fresh air! Like she has to keep up with his breathing for him.

He and one of his close friends were going to get an apartment together and he backed out because SHE told him it would be too expensive.

He got accepted into the military and is supposed to be leaving in a few months and she berates him about how bad he sucks in his physical training exercises. "She got angry when I told her I didn't pass on my run time."

His step-mom and dad will go out and get food and not even ask him if he wants anything even if he's going to pay for it himself. They'll cook and won't leave the man a scrap of meat or even the dust from the crumbs. Shaking my head, I said, "damn... That's pitiful."

I was really talking about him.

This fool is the real life water boy from the movie "Waterboy".

And, the guy is not stupid or "slow". He's just been treated like a little boy for so long that he still thinks he's a little boy. I think the only thing that can help him now is a damn therapist - or a hypnotist.

Once those sergeants in the military get a hold of his ass, his goofy Gomer Pyle ass will straighten up. They'll make a man out of him.

I know I shouldn't get so angry about another person's life or lifestyle, but it irritates me when some people are so timid about life and allow other people to treat them like a doormat.

Why be afraid to live and enjoy life and not take control of your destiny?

Some people will stay in an abusive relationship because they're afraid of struggling, or failing, or making mistakes and being stuck for a while.

Why???

That's how you learn.

The World isn't Perfect. Life isn't perfect. You're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna face difficulty and run into problems. You're gonna have second thoughts about your decisions and the choices you make. But, you can't let that stop you from taking chances in life or growing as a person.

You can't let that stop you from getting out of these bad relationships with people who enjoy making your life a living hell.

Accept the challenge. Embrace your new adventure.

The bottom line is: Just be as wise as you can be about it. 

 

Prepare yourself.

Ask the right questions when you're researching and making connections. Don't be foolish with your resources. And don't be afraid to speak-up, take control, or stand up for yourself to get what you want and need.

You have the Power to succeed at anything in life. Now, all you need is the balls to use it.

- loveqna

How To Be Social And Attract A Good Man Or Woman

Now, before you read any of this crap, let me tell you straight away that I'm not an expert on social skills OR conversation skills. So, if you really want to improve in this area and want your confidence level to go up a few notches, then make sure you get out there and learn from other sources.

Read.
Watch Videos.
Visit Other Websites.
Interact With More People.

If you're sick in the head like me and think too much or suffer from Depression or lack confidence in yourself (or your skills; or your appearance), or if you're too shy or think lowly of yourself, I can relate. And, I'm sure I can give you a few good tips. BUT! You still need to get your ass out there and use other ideas and techniques that I'm sure will help you.

Now, don't get out and overload your brain with research and studying. This will only slow down the process!

You HAVE to Practice!

And, this is the easiest skill in the world to practice because all you have to do is interact with people.

And, unless you're a social recluse (or an asshole who don't like people) and live in a cave or something and don't own a computer or a cellphone, you WILL have to interact with people. So, you have an opportunity to practice at least five or ten times a day.

And, these people don't have to know that you're practicing your skills on them. Just do it and have fun about it. In no time, you'll learn to love it.

At one point in my life, I used to be very outgoing. I had a best friend and several other good friends that I was close to. I drove around visiting friends and relatives all the time. I'd shop and party with a few of my homeboys almost every weekend. People would call me all the time. I was never without a girlfriend (or two). My bosses liked me. My co-workers liked me. My neighbors thought I was okay. I was a sociable dude. But, somehow, something about me changed...

Now, I feel out of place most of the time.

I'm not sure what to say or What I'm saying sometimes. And, I feel self-conscious about being misunderstood.

I worry too much about how I come across to people.

I over-analyze situations and subjects and ramble on and on.

I try not to interrupt people or disturb people and they think I'm being anti-social or ignoring them.

Many days, I don't feel "energized" enough to WANT to deal with the World. I'd rather be alone.

I worry about being boring......

I feel like a social misfit.

Do you ever feel like that???

I don't know how this happened. Some of my family members would tell you that I was a loner as a child. But, I still had quite a few friends. I played football with the neighborhood boys. I went swimming with friends. I always had friends and admirers in school. I went to school dances. I was sociable.I'm a sociable person.

But, sometimes, I just drift off into a place of my own.

It's terrible if you're in a relationship.

Hardly any of my relationships or friendships ended badly. I just sort of "drifted away".

That is the biggest complaint of most of my girlfriends. They'd always say something like: "You never spend enough time with me!"; "Where have you been??? I haven't talked to you for three days!"

I'd tell those chicks: "Shut the hell up and be glad that your goofy-ass is talking to me now."

There was no malice in it. I'd just say that in jest whenever they started yelling. But, none of those chicks understood me. It wasn't like I didn't care or like I was trying to be elusive or a stranger. I just drifted off. Some people are like that for some reason.

If you have that problem, I'm gonna tell you straight-up that improving your social skills is going to be a pain. You'll have to give up being self-absorbed and strictly focused on your own desires and interests. You'll have to find a balance between what you want and your relationships.

This is even a difficult task for most successful people and celebrities. That's why so many of them get cheated on or divorced. They neglect their mates, family, and old friends, because they're workaholics. It's hard for them to find balance between What they love and WHO they love.

so, if you want to avoid that situation or improve your social skills, you have to give up being a self-absorbed recluse. Your main focus has to making friends and building friendships. The rest of that stuff about making money and achieving your goals will fall into place - if you're good at what you do.

Now, in order for you to find your SoulMate or improve your confidence about approaching prospects, make sure you take heed to the suggestions I made earlier.

Read. Visit other websites about social confidence. Interact with people. Practice. Blah, blah, blah...

In this blog I'm gonna create a section for this topic.

And, we're gonna go "deep cover" about this because social confidence is not just about your conversation skills. It's also about how you view yourself and how you view other people and situations. It's about the vibes you radiate to other people. Using your instincts in your responses.

We're gonna analyze and practice all of that stuff.

(Listen to me: I sound like a professor.)

And, I'm 100% positive if you just try to have fun with this and enjoy yourself, you will step your game up and meet the girl or guy of your dreams who could be right under your very nose right now and waiting for you to make a move.

I'll post some notes and links later today so you'll be ready for action at the Halloween Party this weekend.

- loveqna