notes - how good women can get more dates

Recently, I've noticed that there are a lot of women out there wanting a relationship but don't know where to start or they aren't sure about how to start.

On top of that, they're shy and afraid to mix and mingle with other folks or approach a man for a date.

They suffer from social anxiety.

They feel they're not interesting enough. Or, pretty enough. Or, have ANY of the good qualities an honest man would want.

These notes will touch on some of the ways you can increase your "stock" and gain some exposure to attract a mate or more dates, but, remember: There are other notes on this blog that touches on the subject so don't hesitate to copy and create your own personal tips for approaching and dating.

Get some tips from your friends or co-workers or acquaintances as well.


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you just have to get out more.

don't daydream about dating. makes some moves to make it happen.

be more complimentary or engaging in small-talk

before you get too deep or waste too much time, use your instincts to see if the guy really has potential or if you would be better off giving a geek or nerd or nice guy a chance.

be sure you're not dealing with players, wafflers, free spirits, and ego-maniacs (bullies).

make some new friends who will have other single friends and single acquaintances in their lives.

you might meet some of these men at a friendly party or get-together or dinner.

your co-workers might know some available men who are looking for love. you could also get a part-time job to meet new guys - if you have time.

if you are lacking in style, get a makeover to attract more prospects.

if done right (and, if you're attitude is inviting), more men will come to you.

learn from other women (or watch them) and improve your charm and feminine power.

be coy sometimes.

never be afraid of asking a guy questions about himself or his past relationships. some of them will lie, but many of them get kind of giddy when a woman asks about stuff like that.

- are you a player
- how do you treat your women
- when was the last time you went out (on a date)
- how often do you go out
- are you faithful man

etc. it's small-talk and there are better questions than these, so take a look around and listen to others and how they get men to engage.

you don't HAVE to know what you're looking for (in a man) but, often it helps. some people have habits and personalities that just suck.

and, you SHOULD know what your ultimate relationship goals are - completely.

- marriage
- where you would like to live
- having children
- will he be a spiritual man
- do you want someone who likes to travel and go out or a home-body
- do you want someone who's good host and family oriented
- do you have a lifestyle preference
- do you have certain sexual lifestyle preferences
- will your career cause you two to be alone often


join some social groups or organizations and you will also make friends and meet new guys.

just remember to take your time about "love" and REALLY get to know the guy - interests, preferences, wants, needs, personality, habits, life goals, fixations, etc. some of these bums don't want anything but a piece of ass. some of them don't know what they want. they want to be single but they want to be free.

BE SURE TO ASK ALL OF THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS CONCERNING LIFESTYLE AND HIS ABILITY TO STAY FOCUSED ON ONE WOMAN AND ONE RELATIONSHIP.

learn to improve your conversation and social skills. this will help reduce shyness. and, after you've interacted with people for a while and made a few new friends, your confidence will improve.

look at yourself and consider what may be a factor in stopping you from meeting good quality men. it's not going to be the fact that you have no friends or family. or, that you've never been in a relationship. or, that you have no sexual experience.

what will stop men from approaching you is your style, personality, attitude, and appearance.

in reality - and in time - you will meet guys no matter what you are like. but, will you be accepting of the guys who WANT to date you and get to know you? or, will you be too picky and chase after guys who are only "fun" and (seemingly) "interesting"?

get that makeover going and your stock will rise. more men will be attracted to you and interested in you. and, remember to have a positive attitude, charm, wit, to keep their attention. guys like girls who are smart and like to have fun.

don't overdo it but know how to laugh, relax, and have a good time.

confidence building and face-to-face conversation - notes

notes on confidence for shy folks. will update later (maybe)


you're never gonna feel like yourself if you keep worrying about "fitting in" and trying to be someone other than who you are. discover who you are on the inside. live by your true philosophies and beliefs. stop being afraid of who you really are. stop worrying about being judged. be who you really are.

think about what's holding you back. what are you afraid of (socially)? do you fear you will say something stupid when you interact with others?

do you fear people will think you're weird?

do you feel like you have nothing interesting to say?

why do you really want to improve your confidence? is it to get more dates? improve your social skills? approach someone you admire?

it's all about interacting with others.

learn to conquer or minimize your social weaknesses.

you're doing the right thing by trying to improve your confidence. but, learn what's keeping you from being confident and go from there.

don't allow (false) images, personal perspective, desires, or fantasy, to cloud your instincts

learn to read people without judging, and allow your instincts to be your guide. use judgement to make your decisions on how to deal with the person or situation

reading people and using your instincts will also help with confidence. don't humble yourself too much

don't consider so much WHO the person is. Listen to what he or she is saying and keep an interactive mind. ask questions to clarify points they're trying to make.

remember: when the conversation starts, what is said is just as important as who is saying it. listen carefully, you may be chatting with a wise man (or woman) or a fool. Or, even worse: a tyrant.

one way to keep from humbling yourself or being overly shy is to focus on the conversation and body language and responses only. This will help you enjoy the moment a lot more.

Don't be too polite! it'll only make you boring.

And, you may miss out on a second date (or invitation).

after the speaker has made his or her point, respond. agree, disagree, or keep silent if you think silence is best. it never hurts just listen as long as you don't "just listen" throughout the entire conversation.

share whatever experiences you've had if you can relate to the what the speaker is talking about

don't overly shower people with respect (or false blessings)

know proper etiquette and maneuvers/manners in dealing with certain people

Conversation Topics - How To Talk About Yourself

Yuck!

These Hi-Def TVs are sweet, but have you ever seen the actors and actresses on one of these things??? Some of the women I thought were hot - really look terrible... These TVs show off all of their flaws and everything! Thank God for makeup and lighting... It helps a little.

I hate this TV.

Anyway...

Here is another conversation tip to consider when you're out on a date or talking on the phone or socializing with a group of your buddies this week.

Talk about yourself.

- what good news (or bad) have you heard lately and how do YOU feel about it

- what is the funniest thing happened to you this week

- what is the weirdest thing you've seen today

- have you thought about cooking anything lately or learning how to cook

- do you have a dilemma

- are you sick and tired of working at your current job

- have you had any ailments lately

- are you thinking about going back to school/college and getting a degree

- have you had poor customer service lately

- is there a place you hate to go because the employees are "ghetto"

- did you hear anything interesting on radio show this morning

- has someone offended you or pissed you off recently because they are a jerk or deceitful

- have you thought about going on a diet or working out

- are you planning a trip or vacation

- have you gotten a good deal on anything lately

- have you been to any new restaurants or stores lately

- do you need ideas for a gift to get for a friend or your Mom or someone who's sick

- are you sick and tired of being treated like dirt by a friend, your boss, or your mate

- is someone trying to manipulate you

- have you caught someone in a big lie recently

- do you feel you're being overworked at home or at work

- is one of your family members or friends or children involved in drama that you have to help solve

- have you been overcharged or sold a defective product recently

- what do you remember about the good old days

- is there restaurant or venue or event that you miss going to

- who is your favorite team and what do you think they'll do this year

- have you heard anything shocking about anybody lately (scandal; death; dating; termination)

- do you have any exciting plans this week

And, you could go on and on and on...

Remember, many statements about yourself or your life are like "bulletins" that tell people what you got going on or how you feel or what your plans are or what you're thinking. Your preferences. Whatever. And, it's not always a bad thing.

Sometimes, talking about yourself can spark a good conversation about a specific issue or dilemma the person you're talking to is having. Maybe you could help them solve their problem or give them a chance to vent.

Maybe you got a good deal on food or gas. Who wouldn't want to know about that???

With these types of conversations, you could easily move from small-talk to deeper levels of thought and on to even deeper levels of conversations that can bring about a connection and understanding between you and a new prospect - or your friends and family.

And, don't feel too shy to do a little trash-talking about how good your favorite team is or how you overcame an obstacle or how you got a hook-up on a sweet deal. Be excited. Enjoy the things in your life every once and a while. It's only when people go on and on and on about themselves or what they're doing, that sickens others. The key is to read other people's interest (from their eyes, body language, and responses).

And, I know I'm wearing you down with all of this yappin' and jibba-jabba that I'm doing right now, so I'm gonna let you go.

Take care and don't be shy!

Have Fun! That's the key.

- loveqna

10 Ways To Build Your Confidence

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If you want tips to get rid of shyness, feelings of awkwardness, and boost your Confidence, then this is a good section for you.

In these "articles" you will find secrets to boosting confidence that will change your life. All you have to do is get in the game and be committed to practice. This is important, so don't forget!

You must learn to improve your conversation skills and social skills also if you want to feel more comfortable in social settings. You will find articles here that can help you step up your game in that area as well.

The key is: Practice by interacting with others, and practice often.

The links below will serve you well, but don't hesitate to search other resources.

And, most important: Observe and use your Instincts.

You may be skeptical or uncertain that you can have stronger confidence, but it will come. You will improve your life, your relationships, have more control of your destiny, and you will improve how you approach a girl or guy and ask him or her out on a date.

* If you have excellent "conversational flow" and Confidence, don't hesitate to share your critique, suggestions, tips, or opinions on the Forum.

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notes - A Few Ways To Stop Negative Thoughts

How To Develop "The Eye Of The Tiger" - notes

Eye of The Tiger - Part 2 (Ric Flair Style)

notes - Don't Let Those Jackasses Break Your Spirit

confidence building and face-to-face conversation - notes

How To Really Love Yourself And Appreciate Who You Are

Find Your Alter-Ego And Get Rid Of Shyness

How To Boost Your Confidence

Confidence Building - notes

Conversation Topics - How To Talk About Yourself

How To Get Over The Fear Of Rejection

Delivery And Body Language

Common Ways To Strike-up A Conversation

Conversation Topics - Basics

Pick Up Lines And How To Meet And Greet

Good Vibes - The Real Confidence Booster - notes

Become A Pick-Up Artist To Meet The Man Or Woman Of Your Dreams

Tips On How To Reply And Respond

Good Vibes - The Real Confidence Booster - notes

I'm gonna try to keep this short because I want to post other notes to help you just in case you decide to go out partying this weekend...

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Macy Gray - Beauty In The World



Video provided by - MacyGrayVEVO

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In one of the previous posts (How To Improve (or Boost) Confidence - Tactics and Techniques - notes) I suggested that you should want to tap into your psyche and realize any activity, situation, object, or idea that might help you boost your confidence and to use it as a catalyst or a vehicle to ignite AND maintain your confidence in social situations.

If money gives you swagger, stack some cash.

If you feel better when your hair and nails are done, go to the beauty shop and tell them to fix you up.

If having a nice car makes you feel better about yourself, focus on treating yourself to that.

But, what if you're broke (poor) and can't afford to get your hair and nails done? Or, you can't afford the payments on a hot car???

What do you look to or WHERE do you look for confidence then?

One way is through achievement of your goals.

Think about it...

When you accomplish ANY goal, no matter how large or small, you feel better when you've gotten the thing taken care of and done with. You feel better because you don't have to worry, stress, or attend to it any more.

You might even feel proud about it and tell people all you had to go through to get the goal accomplished.

But, you really feel good because you now move on with your life and work on something new or chill. And, you have more time to do other things than to mess with THAT goal anymore. You're Free from what EVER it was you HAD to do.

Who likes running errands?

Who likes doing home repairs?

Who likes going waiting in lines?

Nobody!

But, once you get those chores done and out of the way, you feel a heck of a lot better because you feel free!

Your wife (or husband) is happy. You don't have to fight traffic or waste your time stopping by the store when you could be spending valuable time working on your golf swing.

You now have your life back and you can relax and do whatever you like because you don't have to plan or work and re-work your schedule to attend to those goals.

Imagine that feeling for a moment...

Being free.

You don't owe anyone anything.

You're not obligated to anyone to do anything.

There's no place you have to be at a certain time.

No deadlines.

You can go wherever you want to go and come and go as you please.

No questions asked.

Imagine having that much freedom when you go out and socialize...

You can stay as long as you like and have as much fun as you want to have.

Now, let's dig a little bit deeper.

Let's imagine that you don't owe anyone anything.

You're not obligated to anyone for anything.

You don't need anything from anyone.

You don't have to impress anyone.

Again, you're free.

Your only goals are to follow your own rules, do what you like, and to have a good time.

You can strike up a conversation with whomever you want and talk about whatever you like.

The idea is to be free and to enjoy life.

It's all about having a good time no matter what material possessions you have or don't have.

It's all about having fun and enjoying life no matter how you look or how much money you've got.

People criticize and judge, but everybody is not judging You.

And, if they are, so what? Who cares???

You're your own Man or Woman.

You know what you want and you that eventually you will get it. And, deep down, you know HOW to get it. Nothing can stop you except You. And, because you know what you're about; and you know your heart, and what you have to offer to the World; Now is the time to relax, let your hair down, and have fun.

Keep that in mind.

Live Free and Enjoy Your Life.

- loveqna

How To Improve (or Boost) Confidence - Tactics and Techniques - notes

Another Great Ric Flair Interview



Video provided by - merriman24

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Here's a good tip that you can use to improve your confidence and reduce shyness...

First, look deep inside yourself and realize what your confidence boosters are.

For some people, it's money. For others, it's their skills. Knowledge is a confidence booster also. Some people are confident and proud because of status or their achievements.

What makes you confident around certain people or in certain situations?

What makes you forget your problems?

What makes you forget your fears?

What makes you forget feeling bashful?

When you discover what your confidence boosters are, you have to apply them to other aspects of your "game" in order to improve your confidence and overall swagger. Especially if you want to improve your Life and success at getting what you want, need, and deserve.

If you see a hot guy or girl standing over there (waiting in a line, or in their locker, or looking at foodstuff at the grocery store, or waiting in line at a fast-food restaurant) what are you gonna do if you don't have the confidence to say something???

You ain't gonna do jack-shit except let that opportunity pass you by.

That "prize" is gonna walk right out of your life... And, you might not ever see him or her again...

This might be a good week to start up a conversation with that co-worker you've been checking out. But, you won't know if it's a good week or not if you don't have the balls to flirt a little or make SOME kind of move.

So, find your confidence boosters and that will help reduce your shyness.

Now, everybody is Not confident all the time. I've seen some brave men and strong women get nervous and sweat in some situations. I've seen them ask other people for their opinion or advice about what they should do and what actions they should take to succeed in a situation. So, everybody isn't confident all the time.

And, that's not always a bad thing. You can miss out on a good thing sometimes but you can also learn from the experience. And, that's what Life is all about: Learning and Growing...

Anyway,

There are some situations where we will lack confidence.

There are some situations where we are over-confident.

There are some situations that we fear.

Shyness, of course, is a form of fear.

Daydreaming instead of "Doing" (or taking action) can ruin your confidence. Some people love to daydream and imagine things that they COULD get if they only TOOK action instead of sitting around thinking about what action to take.

It's all about "making moves" and being good at what you do. And, the more you do something the better you get at it and the more confident you feel about IT and yourself.

You have to learn it, work it, and keep doing it until you move from a rookie to a veteran at it.

It doesn't matter if it's flipping burgers, playing professional football, approaching a man or woman, or interacting with others in a social environment. You have to learn how to do it and do it often to feel good about it.

But, if you learn what boosts your confidence and keep that feeling with you at all times that will also help you stay in a positive mood and radiate good vibes.

You'll be more eager to learn and to act.

You will be more comfortable.

You will improve your inner peace and peace of mind.

And, most of the time, you will feel good and enjoy the positive social situations that you find yourself in.

I'll update these notes later. I have to go out and find a hat and wig for a Halloween Costume Party.

I'll tell you about it when I update later!

- loveqna

How To Be Social And Attract A Good Man Or Woman

Now, before you read any of this crap, let me tell you straight away that I'm not an expert on social skills OR conversation skills. So, if you really want to improve in this area and want your confidence level to go up a few notches, then make sure you get out there and learn from other sources.

Read.
Watch Videos.
Visit Other Websites.
Interact With More People.

If you're sick in the head like me and think too much or suffer from Depression or lack confidence in yourself (or your skills; or your appearance), or if you're too shy or think lowly of yourself, I can relate. And, I'm sure I can give you a few good tips. BUT! You still need to get your ass out there and use other ideas and techniques that I'm sure will help you.

Now, don't get out and overload your brain with research and studying. This will only slow down the process!

You HAVE to Practice!

And, this is the easiest skill in the world to practice because all you have to do is interact with people.

And, unless you're a social recluse (or an asshole who don't like people) and live in a cave or something and don't own a computer or a cellphone, you WILL have to interact with people. So, you have an opportunity to practice at least five or ten times a day.

And, these people don't have to know that you're practicing your skills on them. Just do it and have fun about it. In no time, you'll learn to love it.

At one point in my life, I used to be very outgoing. I had a best friend and several other good friends that I was close to. I drove around visiting friends and relatives all the time. I'd shop and party with a few of my homeboys almost every weekend. People would call me all the time. I was never without a girlfriend (or two). My bosses liked me. My co-workers liked me. My neighbors thought I was okay. I was a sociable dude. But, somehow, something about me changed...

Now, I feel out of place most of the time.

I'm not sure what to say or What I'm saying sometimes. And, I feel self-conscious about being misunderstood.

I worry too much about how I come across to people.

I over-analyze situations and subjects and ramble on and on.

I try not to interrupt people or disturb people and they think I'm being anti-social or ignoring them.

Many days, I don't feel "energized" enough to WANT to deal with the World. I'd rather be alone.

I worry about being boring......

I feel like a social misfit.

Do you ever feel like that???

I don't know how this happened. Some of my family members would tell you that I was a loner as a child. But, I still had quite a few friends. I played football with the neighborhood boys. I went swimming with friends. I always had friends and admirers in school. I went to school dances. I was sociable.I'm a sociable person.

But, sometimes, I just drift off into a place of my own.

It's terrible if you're in a relationship.

Hardly any of my relationships or friendships ended badly. I just sort of "drifted away".

That is the biggest complaint of most of my girlfriends. They'd always say something like: "You never spend enough time with me!"; "Where have you been??? I haven't talked to you for three days!"

I'd tell those chicks: "Shut the hell up and be glad that your goofy-ass is talking to me now."

There was no malice in it. I'd just say that in jest whenever they started yelling. But, none of those chicks understood me. It wasn't like I didn't care or like I was trying to be elusive or a stranger. I just drifted off. Some people are like that for some reason.

If you have that problem, I'm gonna tell you straight-up that improving your social skills is going to be a pain. You'll have to give up being self-absorbed and strictly focused on your own desires and interests. You'll have to find a balance between what you want and your relationships.

This is even a difficult task for most successful people and celebrities. That's why so many of them get cheated on or divorced. They neglect their mates, family, and old friends, because they're workaholics. It's hard for them to find balance between What they love and WHO they love.

so, if you want to avoid that situation or improve your social skills, you have to give up being a self-absorbed recluse. Your main focus has to making friends and building friendships. The rest of that stuff about making money and achieving your goals will fall into place - if you're good at what you do.

Now, in order for you to find your SoulMate or improve your confidence about approaching prospects, make sure you take heed to the suggestions I made earlier.

Read. Visit other websites about social confidence. Interact with people. Practice. Blah, blah, blah...

In this blog I'm gonna create a section for this topic.

And, we're gonna go "deep cover" about this because social confidence is not just about your conversation skills. It's also about how you view yourself and how you view other people and situations. It's about the vibes you radiate to other people. Using your instincts in your responses.

We're gonna analyze and practice all of that stuff.

(Listen to me: I sound like a professor.)

And, I'm 100% positive if you just try to have fun with this and enjoy yourself, you will step your game up and meet the girl or guy of your dreams who could be right under your very nose right now and waiting for you to make a move.

I'll post some notes and links later today so you'll be ready for action at the Halloween Party this weekend.

- loveqna