Now, before you read any of this crap, let me tell you straight away that I'm not an expert on social skills OR conversation skills. So, if you really want to improve in this area and want your confidence level to go up a few notches, then make sure you get out there and learn from other sources.
Read.
Watch Videos.
Visit Other Websites.
Interact With More People.
If you're sick in the head like me and think too much or suffer from Depression or lack confidence in yourself (or your skills; or your appearance), or if you're too shy or think lowly of yourself, I can relate. And, I'm sure I can give you a few good tips. BUT! You still need to get your ass out there and use other ideas and techniques that I'm sure will help you.
Now, don't get out and overload your brain with research and studying. This will only slow down the process!
You HAVE to Practice!
And, this is the easiest skill in the world to practice because all you have to do is interact with people.
And, unless you're a social recluse (or an asshole who don't like people) and live in a cave or something and don't own a computer or a cellphone, you WILL have to interact with people. So, you have an opportunity to practice at least five or ten times a day.
And, these people don't have to know that you're practicing your skills on them. Just do it and have fun about it. In no time, you'll learn to love it.
At one point in my life, I used to be very outgoing. I had a best friend and several other good friends that I was close to. I drove around visiting friends and relatives all the time. I'd shop and party with a few of my homeboys almost every weekend. People would call me all the time. I was never without a girlfriend (or two). My bosses liked me. My co-workers liked me. My neighbors thought I was okay. I was a sociable dude. But, somehow, something about me changed...
Now, I feel out of place most of the time.
I'm not sure what to say or What I'm saying sometimes. And, I feel self-conscious about being misunderstood.
I worry too much about how I come across to people.
I over-analyze situations and subjects and ramble on and on.
I try not to interrupt people or disturb people and they think I'm being anti-social or ignoring them.
Many days, I don't feel "energized" enough to WANT to deal with the World. I'd rather be alone.
I worry about being boring......
I feel like a social misfit.
Do you ever feel like that???
I don't know how this happened. Some of my family members would tell you that I was a loner as a child. But, I still had quite a few friends. I played football with the neighborhood boys. I went swimming with friends. I always had friends and admirers in school. I went to school dances. I was sociable.I'm a sociable person.
But, sometimes, I just drift off into a place of my own.
It's terrible if you're in a relationship.
Hardly any of my relationships or friendships ended badly. I just sort of "drifted away".
That is the biggest complaint of most of my girlfriends. They'd always say something like: "You never spend enough time with me!"; "Where have you been??? I haven't talked to you for three days!"
I'd tell those chicks: "Shut the hell up and be glad that your goofy-ass is talking to me now."
There was no malice in it. I'd just say that in jest whenever they started yelling. But, none of those chicks understood me. It wasn't like I didn't care or like I was trying to be elusive or a stranger. I just drifted off. Some people are like that for some reason.
If you have that problem, I'm gonna tell you straight-up that improving your social skills is going to be a pain. You'll have to give up being self-absorbed and strictly focused on your own desires and interests. You'll have to find a balance between what you want and your relationships.
This is even a difficult task for most successful people and celebrities. That's why so many of them get cheated on or divorced. They neglect their mates, family, and old friends, because they're workaholics. It's hard for them to find balance between What they love and WHO they love.
so, if you want to avoid that situation or improve your social skills, you have to give up being a self-absorbed recluse. Your main focus has to making friends and building friendships. The rest of that stuff about making money and achieving your goals will fall into place - if you're good at what you do.
Now, in order for you to find your SoulMate or improve your confidence about approaching prospects, make sure you take heed to the suggestions I made earlier.
Read. Visit other websites about social confidence. Interact with people. Practice. Blah, blah, blah...
In this blog I'm gonna create a section for this topic.
And, we're gonna go "deep cover" about this because social confidence is not just about your conversation skills. It's also about how you view yourself and how you view other people and situations. It's about the vibes you radiate to other people. Using your instincts in your responses.
We're gonna analyze and practice all of that stuff.
(Listen to me: I sound like a professor.)
And, I'm 100% positive if you just try to have fun with this and enjoy yourself, you will step your game up and meet the girl or guy of your dreams who could be right under your very nose right now and waiting for you to make a move.
I'll post some notes and links later today so you'll be ready for action at the Halloween Party this weekend.
- loveqna
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