Sometimes The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side

Now, while the saying: "The grass isn't always greener on the other side," is true, we must also realize that the flip side of this proverb is: "Sometimes, the grass IS greener on the other side."

And, I believe that many of the people who use this phrase use it as a psychological weapon to raise doubt (or awareness) in their cheating or waning lover.

Again, I'm not saying that this is the case all the time - or even most of the time - I'm saying that many of us know of a situation where a friend or family member has gotten out of a toxic or stale relationship and into another relationship and has done a lot better for themselves.

I'm also saying you never know if the relationship you're in is going to prosper or fail or if you should jump-ship and become the co-pilot or pilot on another prospect's magic carpet. You just don't know.

You may be giving up the best thing you'll ever have, or you might be saving yourself from disaster. You just don't know.

You can use your instincts and experience to somewhat see where things are headed, but you still don't know for sure.

People change and situations change.

But, what about those who don't feel a romantic connection? Or, those who are fed up with being ignored and feeling unloved? Many of these people couldn't wait for things to change. They had to get out. Some of them did well for themselves; Some of them got into more of a mess than they were in when they got out of the previous toxic relationship.

Sometimes, we must realize, the fault isn't always on ONE of the partners. It takes two tango. And, maybe the couple just isn't compatible.

These days, we're moving into relationships too fast without really getting to know each other. People aren't asking the important questions. Girls would rather giggle than to know a guys character, work ethic, and fortitude. Guys would rather date a chick with sex appeal than to find out about her work ethic, honesty, and credit score.

Now, I'm not saying that anyone should divulge all of their personal information on a couple of dates, but you do have to get at least a good idea about the quality of your prospects and what they are REALLY like. Have fun, but be aware of your prospect's habits, manners, and conversations. Ask questions that are important to you and your culture and lifestyle.

This is how you avoid that weak grass and get on the side where all of that luscious green grass is.

And, from there, you just follow that yellow-brick road to the land of milk and honey, and live happily ever after.


- LoveQnA

Why It's Hard For A Booty-Call To Develop Into Something More

There's an old saying that goes: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

This is the philosophy of the men and women who appreciate "friends with benefits" relationships or "a relationship of convenience" with a man or woman who is strictly a "booty-call".

It's difficult to get emotionally involved with a person who is simply a "booty-call" because the only reason a man or woman needs a person like that is for sex. They may not care who else the person is dating or sleeping with or what they do with their free time. All they care about is satisfying their sexual desires or fetishes.

Unlike a "friends with benefits" relationship, you don't take a "booty-call" or "sexual partner" out on dates or go to social events with them. You don't necessarily go out in public or chill together. They are in your life only to help you with your sexual needs.

So, although they might have "fun" together and enjoy each other sexually, they fight their emotions so as not to get attached to one another.

They may even have an "understanding" about their relationship and never contact each other on a regular basis. Sometimes, it's "just business".

The only time they might meet is at a nightclub, a hotel, or a bar - if they're not hooking-up in a local park or parking lot after work.


In fact, these two "booty-calls" may already BE in relationships. Sometimes long-term relationships. But, they use each other to get what they're not getting at home sexually. They're getting all of the other "benefits" but good loving ain't one of them.

Maybe their partner is boring in bed. Or, too small. Or, unable to perform. Or, too prudish. Sometimes, the man or woman just wants "something different". Every cheater has their own reasons for straying.

But, a booty-call is not limited to people who are in "committed relationships". Single folks enjoy booty-calls as well. Sometimes, these single folks are just sex addicts plain and simple. They're like "free spirits". They go out looking for action. Their goal in life is to have fun and to have sex. They don't want a commitment. They enjoy having booty-calls. You can go on some of these adult dating websites and find the pages packed with profiles of those looking for quick romp.

And, I hate to say it, but some people are booty-calls and don't even know it.

(I'm not going to put anybody on blast because discussion of some situations may make some people have second thoughts about their relationships, or falsely judge the circumstances of their relationship.)

Now, personally, I've never seen or heard of a long-term booty-call developing into anything more than what it is in the beginning. I've known some people to get attached and want more, but usually, the other "partner" doesn't want to take things any further because they're either married, involved in a long-term relationship, or enjoy being single. It causes a little bit of drama (sometimes "break-ups") but usually the booty-calls continue - at least for a while.

And, that's how most booty-calls remain - strictly business. No love. No promises. No commitments.

But, there are some relationships that have Started Off as a booty-call and have developed into more than just a "relationship of convenience".

When this happens, usually one of the "partners" is waiting to get out of relationship or get a "break" from a relationship so that he or she can fully commit to the booty-call, or at least, become "a friend with benefits".

I know in one case where a crackhead kept taking his (non-druggie) friend home with him and the friend got to know the wife pretty well. And one night, while the crackhead was out on the hunt for a score of crack, his friend was at his house "getting jiggy" with his wife. Well, a few booty-calls later and they were living together. A few years later, and they were married. And, even before they got married, they were buying a home and starting a family. So, they're probably still together.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

That's why some cheaters break-up with the booty-call they cheated with or end up getting cheated on BY the booty-call they cheated with. Emotions get involved. They try to date or start a relationship, and it just doesn't work out.


The cheater thinks he or she has found love and all the while the booty-call has another booty-call on the side or, he or she doesn't want to be in a committed relationship. Maybe because the booty-call is a "free spirit". Maybe it's because the booty-call enjoys the benefits of his or her present life or lifestyle.


So, they may or may not have more than a "sexual connection". But, when one or both "partners" are free to date, that's when they find out if there is more to be discovered between each other.

It's a gamble like almost everything else in life.

All I can say is: If you don't want to be a booty-call, get to know the person and know what you're getting into before you give up the booty.

Don't lose your mind and go in with great expectations right off the bat. Use your good instincts and Intuition and take heed to the game, because all the sweet-talk and begging later on ain't gonna change the situation or the person's mind if a booty-call is all he or she wants.

And that reminds me of another saying: "You can lead a horse to water and make him drink. But, watch out when he starts pissing because he might piss on you."

- loveqna

Why A Man Needs Two Or More Women

Before you start cussin' me out, let me speak.

I'm NOT saying that a man SHOULD HAVE more than one woman.

And, I'll say it again:

I'm NOT saying that a man SHOULD HAVE more than ONE woman.

If a man has found TRUE LOVE then one woman will be all that he needs. Usually.

I believe this because I believe his heart and mind won't allow him to seek anyone else - IF it's True Love. But, that's just how I see it.

I believe Love will FORCE you to be devoted to ONE PERSON - To be OBSESSED by ONE person and to compel you to only want to please and cater to him or her. It can't be cut into pieces and shared like slices of cake or pie. You can't spread it around because you can't possess Love. You can't OWN it. It owns you.

Okay. I'm not trying to philosophical but you heard what I said, so I don't wanna hear no sh*t from anybody.

Okay.

Now, Surprise...

This is also a post about "Why A Woman Needs Two Or More Men" because SOME women out there feel they have to have more than one guy to be completely satisfied.

It's true!

So, for the record...

I'M not saying that a woman SHOULD HAVE two or more men. I'm addressing the women out there who believe they need more than one man (or love-mate) in their life to be completely satisfied.

Now, let me tell you what this is all about.

It's another post about cheaters and why they feel they need a lover on the side - or two or three lovers on the side.

They do it because they're hard to please, dissatisfied with their circumstances, and unhappy.

This particular reason for cheating is based on Variety. But not sexual variety.

There are many people out there who feel that they don't (or can't) have all of the "voids" in their life filled by one person. They feel they NEED additional mates to help them enjoy certain aspects of life that their Main Squeeze (or Primary Lover) can't help them with.

It's kind of like guys and girls who have their best friend for fun, secrets, gossip, shopping, and hanging out with and a lover for intimacy, affection, and romance.

The lover provides certain "social benefits" and their best friend provides certain "social benefits".

So, why does the man need more than one woman??? In this case, he may be looking for or intrigued by OTHER "Benefits" such as:

- Personality

- Style and Sex Appeal

- Beauty

- Status

Or, he may need to FEEL, SEE, HEAR, SMELL, and TASTE something DIFFERENT.

That could be anything. It may be great sex.

But, as I've stated before, cheaters don't always cheat for sex. In most cases sex is inevitable. It's expected to happen. The cheater wants it to happen. But after he and his lover has had sex, why does he keep going back? I'll tell you why...

He might keep his lover because he FEELS his lover is more entertaining, easier to talk to, prettier, sexier, more outspoken, more confident, more understanding, more charming, or classier. There is something that this other person brings to the table that he's not getting at "home".

A woman who cheats might feel the same way about her lover. It's possible that she deeply cares about her partner but she might not find her partner so entertaining. Maybe they don't have "deep" conversations. Maybe her partner is too serious or too playful. Maybe her partner is weak and she craves someone stronger. Maybe they never go anywhere or do anything romantic or fun. Or, maybe she is simply MORE TURNED-ON by this new person's personality, charm, and beauty. Who knows why she is swooning over this bum.

But even when a man or woman finds an additional partner, he or she may still fall for a THIRD one.

Why?

(And, we're NOT using Sex as an excuse in this post. We've already touched on sexual variety in another post.)

It's the same reason. The cheater will continue to cheat to fill "voids" in his or her life.

What is he looking for THIS time???

This third lover may be MORE generous than the first two. He or she may be more adventurous. He or she may be MORE charming. MORE entertaining. MORE beautiful. Sexier. Whatever.

I know some of you are saying that this is all bullcrap. And, I don't blame you for being pissed-off. But, let me ask you this:

Why do you think some men (AND women) don't want to get married???

If they're in love, why don't they want to be tied down? Why don't THEY want to tie their lover down??? Why aren't THEY begging for their lover's hand in marriage???

Because they're afraid they're going to be trapped in a relationship that is going to get old, dull, and boring. And they're afraid that THEY'RE going to get old, dull, and boring if they get stuck in this "situation".

That's why a lot of men DON'T say "I Do."

They'd rather stay single and have Variety. More variety means more fun-filled EXPERIENCES. Less routine and monotony.

It's like dining out.

If you go to the same restaurant every time you go out (or eat at home all the time) it'll get boring as hell.

But, if you go out to a VARIETY of restaurants and try something different every once and a while, it's like a new adventure every time.

Some people NEED variety. Some people NEED to FEEL, SEE, HEAR, SMELL, and TASTE something DIFFERENT.

Some people feel they need extra lovers to feel "voids" that one lover can't provide.

I've heard plenty of women say that they don't want to be tied down to someone who is only going to get old, fat, and boring. I've heard lots of guys say they don't want to get married because there are too many beautiful women out here to have just one. They'll never be able to get all of those hot babes or even half of them but they want to have options if things get rough - or, if their lives start to look bleak and empty.

Options. Variety. An escape route! That's why a man needs two or more women! He needs someone to turn to take his mind off of his routine lifestyle and to help keep his life exciting.

I remember I used to hear some crap on certain radio stations here in Charlotte about why women needed four or five men in their love-life.

They needed one man to help them out from time to time with bills.

They needed another guy who was sensitive and understanding.

They needed a third man who was outstanding in bed.

They needed a fourth man for fun and excitement.

I forgot why they needed a fifth man, but it was probably to babysit their damn kids.

Sometimes they're searching for something or someone to fill a void and they don't know what that void is. Most of the time they simply crave a new adventure or some excitement. They're greedy to try something new.

You're lucky if you're not in a serious relationship with one of these types of cheaters. But if you are (or, you're in love with one), your only hope is personal improvement (appearance, style, confidence, charm, independence, etc.) and playing a little hard to get - and, that doesn't work all the time.

But, if you want this person, you'll have to try to fill those "voids". You have to give him or her a little bit of everything he or she wants and NEEDS.

Remember: These cheaters love to sample, therefore, they love to chase. They always want to try something new and different. And, when you appear different to them, they get curious and want a taste of the NEW You.

But, be aware: You must not be too easy to get but you can't be too hard to get also. Use your charm and powers of seduction to win his or her heart. Whatever the bum wants, try to give it to him (or her). That MIGHT keep him or her coming back for more.

And, if it doesn't,

Find someone who's "simple", easy to please, and who doesn't have a lot of Needs or needs a lot of Variety.

- loveqna

VIDEO - 2 Girls Fighting Over The Same Guy

I don't know what's going on here but as you can see, no matter how Hot you are or THINK you are, it's personality, style, and character that usually wins the date. I'm not saying the girl with glasses is ugly, but the "princess" appears to be a showgirl who is more concerned about her looks. Or, maybe the guy is just a dog. Anyway, you can see who the guy has chosen in the end. I wonder if he went back and begged forgiveness???



Video provided by - xx2ndgenxx

- loveqna