What Are Men Thinking When...

Okay, the weekend is officially here, and for those of you who are looking to improve your conversation skills, approach skills, and social skills, here is the first of two posts for this week.

And, I must insert this disclaimer: You all know that I'm not a "pick-up artist" or "expert", so (please) for "top-notch" advice, review one of those type of sites.

Today, I had a few other topics in mind to post but somehow I ended up surfing the Net and came across an interesting question (and "reality") on Yahoo I want to share with you.

You could call this a simple observation but, I think it's a real benefit and could take some of the pressure off of approaching some good prospects if you use your instincts and "read" them well.

The one thing I like about this post is that it CONFIRMS that men and women DO appreciate eye-candy and are checking each other out all the time.

The problem is: Women are just as much afraid of rejection as men are! So, most good people - who are good for each other - never meet.

And, no one is the blame. It's Fear on all of our part that keeps two good people from getting together.

So, Free Your Mind and Use Your Instincts and let Karma and Destiny take their proper course. There are going to be people out checking you out. And, some will want to get to know you. But, it may be up to you to step-up and invite them to experience your world.

Anyway... Here's the little gem that I discovered.

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QUESTION ON YAHOO:

What R men thinking in a grocery store, when eye contact is made with a beautiful woman?

Ok, Im walking in the grocery store, pushing that awful dreadful cart, thinking what do i put together for dinner tonight? I see a handsome guy pushing his cart, he looks me in the eye, no friendly smile, but I seen something there, in his eyes. And he looks away fast!. Ok, I know what Im thinking when I see a good looking guy(even an unattractive guy), Im thinking "hhhmm, wonder how good he is in bed?" I want an HONEST answer from those guys who know what im talking about. Come on ladies, you know the scenerial im describing, even those women with their hair tied in a knot, their so lady like and always on her best behavior, After all she is on the PTA. You wonder the same thing Im asking about.. Hey guys if you can answer this question. A whole lot of men will get dates in the grocery store line. You can be like one of those last minute items in the check out lane. Women will prob have alot more nerve to ask you out if she thinks your thinking what I think your thinking.
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Okay, after reading that question, I simply came up with a lot of thoughts I've had and comments I've heard other guys (and girls) mention.

But, you know how a group of guys are when they're together checking out a hot chick.

And, a group of ladies ain't no different.

So, I won't post all of the stuff I've heard.

But, all of it is not "dirty" or vulgar or perverted.

There ARE guys out there that love the way your hair looks. Or, guys out there that love your smile. Or, the way you dress. Or, your nails. All men aren't thinking "dirty" thoughts or fantasizing about seeing you naked. Someone may really be interested in getting to know you on a deeper level.

Sometimes, you can see what they're thinking in their eyes... Sometimes, you can see it in their actions or by the way they act when you are near.

But, I know it's hard for some of you beautiful women out there. You girls get approached, whistled at, and flirted with all the time, so, it's difficult to know who's "for real" and who just wants to get into your pants. Still, even a man who appreciates your beauty may want more with you than just sex. You just have to use your instincts to see beyond the B.S. or shyness.

But, let me move on before I get off topic...

Here's my response to "what men are thinking when they see a hot chick at a grocery store or somewhere out in public":

- "Damn, she's fine."
- "Damn, her hair is pretty."
- "Good Lord! Look at that booty!"
- "I know she's got a man."
- "Damn, what should I say?"
- "Damn, that bitch is bad."
- "Wooowe... that ass is phat."
- "damn, she looks sexy with what she has on."
- "good Lord, she smells good! I wonder what kind of perfume she has on."
- "I know I don't have a chance with her. Ain't no use in me even trying."
- "I know a girl like that ain't single."
- "that girl is hot and don't even know it."
- "she has a pretty smile."
- "Damn, she has some sexy lips."
- "Damn! How many kids has she got???"
- "Boy, I wouldn't mind hittin' that!"
- "If that was my girl, I'd never let her go."
- "damn, I don't know what to say to this chick."
- "wow... look at little mama. She's hot."
- "damn. she's workin' that thing. Look at her shaking that booty. she knows I'm lookin'."
- "she knows she's fine."
- "damn. I bet she's a wildcat in bed."
- "I wonder where her man is at? Is she alone? Is she single? Should I approach?" (lol)
- "damn, she has a sexy walk."
- "She's cute. I wonder what religion she is."
- "damn, she's fine. I wonder how old she is?"
- "damn, she has some pretty skin."
- "Where have I seen her before?"
- "I'd make her my wife."
- "Damn, something TOLD me to change clothes before I went to the store!"
- "ohhhh, I got to hollah at this chick..."
- "damn, she has a nice shape/body."
- "ohhh, I think she's checking me out. Damn... what should I say???"

You never know what's going on in someone's mind but these are a few of the things I've heard guys (and women) say when they notice a cute guy or girl out in public.

Now, the thing about these comments is obvious. People DO look and judge and WANT to approach you or avoid you based on your appearances. So, make sure you're smelling as fresh as daisies and looking "tight and right" when you go out to party and socialize.

No matter what your style is, just make sure you're representing class and style and what you're all about to the fullest.

And Have Fun! Be Approachable!

If you're interested, show him with a smile or a compliment - or, even a joke. Sometimes, that's what a "hunter" needs. So, be bold and put him at ease. And, he might have the balls to let you know what's really on his mind.

That's the way to get closer to that secret admirer who's checking you out!

- loveqna

VIDEO - 2 Girls Fighting Over The Same Guy

I don't know what's going on here but as you can see, no matter how Hot you are or THINK you are, it's personality, style, and character that usually wins the date. I'm not saying the girl with glasses is ugly, but the "princess" appears to be a showgirl who is more concerned about her looks. Or, maybe the guy is just a dog. Anyway, you can see who the guy has chosen in the end. I wonder if he went back and begged forgiveness???



Video provided by - xx2ndgenxx

- loveqna

What Men REALLY Want In A Woman

It's automatic for most women to believe that all men want a woman who's Hot and Sexy.

I hear women all the time snapping or complaining that men only want eye-candy, a "trophy wife", or a chick with a phat ass.

While it's true that we appreciate beautiful women with attractive hairstyles, cute smiles, a nice shape, and a sexy booty, those are not the only things men are looking for in a woman. Those are the "basics". We all want someone who is (in our eyes) cute or nice to look at.

But, it's not all about Beauty.

That's not all that men want in a woman.

You could be the finest chick in the World and a man might still might leave you or cheat on you for a mud-duck, a hoodrat, or a skanky broad.

Let me tell you something that most women don't know...

Men use their Instincts or Male Intuition to "read" women just like most women use their Female Intuition to "read" men. Just as your Female Intuition might tell you whether or not a guy is "on your level", or a "player", or a loser, or a "good man", a man uses his Male Intuition to see the same things.

He sees the woman is attractive but he's also looking beyond her beauty. He's looking at the "Total Package"...

"Is she a hoe?"

"Is she arrogant and domineering?"

"Is she a Leader or a follower?"

"Is she shy?"

"Does she have class and style?"

"Is she loud and obnoxious?"

He doesn't want to get involved with a woman who's going to be a headache and a lot of trouble - IF he's thinking of the long-term.

A lot of women don't know it but many men (men who use their "Male Instincts") are looking at that "Total Package" within a matter of seconds!

He sees that you're cute but he wants to know if you possess other qualities that he wants.

Besides his INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCES - which only He could describe - and the Beauty that you possess, let me tell you about some of the other qualities that a man really wants in a woman...

(Many of them might SAY they want a "Best Friend", but they don't act like it do they? That's because those guys really want more from a woman than friendship.)

- She has to have class, style, and grace at appropriate times. She has to radiate a vibe of success in Life.

- Many men appreciate a woman who's witty or at least a woman who knows how to laugh and have a good time. That's always a plus whether you're a man or woman.

- A lot of men appreciate a bold woman who is confident (but NOT ARROGANT or too aggressive). No man likes a pushover. It makes him proud to have a woman who can handle herself and who's not afraid to get things done.

- If a woman shows she appreciates the man's talent and capabilities, he's going to be attracted to her more. You know you have feed a man's ego to keep him interested and happy - even if you've just recently met. Most men are suckers for flattery.

- Also, if she shows that she is a supportive woman who has her man's back, "down" for him, and always on his side no matter the circumstances or situation, this will also make him think twice before looking at another woman.

Why?

Because this shows that the woman cares about him. She cares about his safety and well-being. She'll kick ass for him if she has to.

To him, it shows that he means more to her than the fact that he's just her lover. He knows She believes in him, wants to see him succeed, and is willing to go the extra mile for him. He can trust her. Pour out his heart to her. Reveal his soul to her. There's no doubt in his mind that a woman like this is loyal and faithful. And, I promise you, he'll not only go the extra mile for this broad - He'll open up to her, defend her also, and tell her anything and everything that's on his mind.

A good woman like that will defend him and help him when he's down and can't focus or find direction...

A chick like that is a strong woman who will push her man to make things happen because she won't let him feel sorry for himself. She won't let him believe that he is weak, a failure, or be subject to will of others. She'll make him "see the light" even if she's gotta get him pissed-off at the World to do it.

But, I think we're getting off the subject... This is a rare breed of woman who deserves her own post. And even this type of woman must possess other qualities to keep her man loving and faithful.

So, let's get back on track.

A man wants a woman who isn't judgmental or criticizing. Usually, a criticizing woman like this is just loud, arrogant, bossy, unreasonable, irrational, and nagging. A hater and a gossip who carries bad vibes. A complete turn-off. Only an idiot would take a chance with this kind of woman. And after he does, his life will be ruined.

This is the last one I'm gonna do:

Almost all men appreciate a positive woman - a woman who is doing something for herself and making her mark in life. Many men don't want a woman who is lazy, pessimistic, or one who carries around negative vibes.

But! Be careful!

Be sure to get to know the man before you get in too deep. Don't get brainwashed.

There are some nuts out there who want a woman who is just as negative and just as crazy or trifling as they are. And to those men, this is a "positive" thing.

And that's it.

Now...

What I'm saying here is: Beauty (or cuteness) is important to most men. This is true. We all love eye-candy. We all want it. But, you must be able to reveal other important qualities about yourself as well.

And, believe it or not, MANY men are looking for those Other Important Qualities - especially the "good men"!

A good man will be trying to perceive those qualities in you within the first five or ten seconds of the moment of attraction. Why? Because he appreciates a pretty face but he's not necessarily looking for a beauty queen. He wants a woman of quality and character.

He's not a player. He's not greedy for beauty or sex.

He's not a moocher or con-artist. He's not looking for a woman who has money and a lot of material possessions.

He's not a trick who's looking for a woman to satisfy his fetish.

The World is full of all types of men who want many different things. There isn't a one-type-fits-all kind of woman.

If you stereotype men and think we all one thing in woman or a certain type of woman, you'll keep ending up in bad relationships and keep dealing with drama and break-ups forever and ever.

When you hear people making jokes about "what men want" don't take it seriously!

When people are angry and proclaim that "the only thing men want is sex", don't believe it!

It's sad, but the hard truth is: those poor folks want the type of men that don't want them. They keep getting involved with "wafflers" and players. Or, their lover has lost interest.

Women who wonder what men look for in a woman need to realize that men aren't just looking for a hot chick or sex. Look around. Hot chicks these days come a dime a dozen. Hell, you could turn a plain chick into a hot chick with a little make-up and the right clothes! Look at all these "ugly ducklings" and trifling chicks getting all of these good men and "handsome hunks"...

You have to give the man MORE!

Men are going to look at your beauty AND Style - Your "Sex-Appeal".

Men are going to try to use their INSTINCTS (or intuition) to read your character and personality - to find out if you have what they want.

And, realize that men have individual tastes and preferences and you need to get to know the man (your prospect or love-mate) to find out what HE wants and needs in a woman. He's not the same as everybody else.

So, Beauty will get Attention. Your persona (and style) will keep his Attention. And, when you discover what he wants as an individual, you won't ever lose his Attention.

So, the bottom line is: A man wants a woman who will be able to "turn him on" on all levels - physically, socially, mentally, financially, etc, etc, and so on...

- loveqna

A Pretty Face Will Make You Lose Your Mind

We had a new girl start work today. She's very cute. Straight silky brown hair. Pretty eyes with long eyelashes. Beautiful creamy skin... And, although she's thick (a little on the "hefty" side of "thick"), she's well-proportioned and THICK in all the right places (a little too thick in SOME places). And, she has Style. A NEAT girl. And, her clothes didn't look cheap either.

Anyway...

She appeared at the front door. Literally. From out of nowhere this chick just popped-up and was standing at the door waiting to come in.

So, "Old Grumpy" was the first one to see her. His ass rushed to the front entrance door to let the chick in. He didn't hesitate or nothin'. His ass couldn't wait to get to that door to let that broad in. He's not even a supervisor and he yells out to the manager: "Hey, throw me your keys! Somebody's at the door!"

Hell, he just opened the doors wide open and invited her right in!

???

"Are you from the other store?"

I looked at him...

I said that damn dumbass opening the door for a stranger at 4AM in the morning and he don't even know who the hell she is. She could have a bunch of thugs laying in wait to rob all of our asses.

Sh*t, I don't care if she IS cute. I'm not taking any chances.

You've seen the movies. A pretty woman makes the best decoy. Hell, if his grumpy old ass is falling head-over-heels for the girl at first sight that he doesn't even know - and he's hardly nice to anyone - imagine what a few thugs that know her might do.

They'll come in and pick our pockets to the bone.

But, I guess he couldn't help himself. That plus-size chick must've dazzled his ass. Razzle-dazzled.

She's hefty, but she ain't bad to look at.

Okay, so she turns out to be a new employee and today was her first day of training.

Now, here comes Mr. Cool... and the girl, since he's training her.

"YO! PLAYA! WHAT'S UP, MAN! WHAT'S GOIN' ON? ARE YOU DOIN' OKAY? YOU NEED ANY HELP?!"

Now, why the hell is this man yellin'? It's 4AM. There's only a hand full of people in the store. It's quiet as hell. And, he's screamin' at the top of his lungs.

And, he ain't NEVER asked me if I needed help before.

Then, the dude starts making these other weird noises:

"Woooooooo!"
"Yeeeeaaaaaah!"
"WHUT. WHUT."

Laughing and giggling and sh*t...

I said to myself "Damn. He's done lost his damn mind."

She smiled a little bit, but she looked uncomfortable by this. Hell, I couldn't blame her.

I understand she's cute and has an innocent smile but have some Dignity about yourself!

I was shocked. Because, normally, he comes in half-asleep. He's dragging his ass and walking around like a damn zombie without a clue. Plus, his eyes are always red and he looks tired.

But today...

That broad had his ass wide awake and Crunk.

Granted, we ARE cool (me and him), but...

This dude ain't NEVER acknowledged me like that before. So, you KNOW that girl made him flip out.

I told you: "She's thick and on the hefty side but she ain't bad to look at."

Plus, she has an accent so that only added to the value of the "merchandise". I mean her "stock" damn near doubled by the time she made it to the break room.

And women will go coo-coo for a pretty face too...

There's this one guy that works with us - He's not a bad looking guy (I wouldn't date him, but I'm just sayin' if you like the way men look you'd think he was a good-looking dude).

The women love to look at this guy and they talk about his smile, his dimples, his muscles, and his body, and all that... And, it makes me sick to my DAMN stomach. lol. I'm only kidding. He's a pretty cool guy. We talk a lot and I'll have to tell you one of the stories he told me about how his girlfriend's Mom issued a restraining order against him because he was hiding in her house. The way it happened was funny as hell as well as how he got busted...

Anyway...

I enjoy listening to the ladies sit around gossiping and talking about eye-candy and sex and so forth. No, it doesn't get me aroused. It just confirms what I tell others about my experiences with women.

They love eye-candy. And they stand around ogling these fine cutie-pies just like men do.

They talk about men's "packages" (YOU know what I'm talking about).

They like round booties too.

We all know they fantasize.

They like cute young "things".

They talk about their sexual escapades - good and bad experiences.

They look for "action" just like guys look for "action".

Etc.

What MOST guys talk about, MANY women talk about too.

But, let me get back to the "pretty faces thing"...

There's another guy that works with us who resembles a celebrity. A singer. We don't talk much but we're cool. Every once and a while we'll chat or talk about music or sports or whatever.

Anyway...

There were a few girls at work going nuts over this guy. Both of these chicks are in long term relationships. He made a play for one of these chicks and she played hard to get. She brushed the man off. So, he moved on.

He approached the other chick.

Normally, she is ALL business at work. But, for THIS dude, She was "hot and ready". She flipped. Everyone knows she's involved and has a family. But, one look at that pretty face of his and she was out smooching in the parking lot. Bringing the man breakfast, lunch, and dinner at work. I'm exaggerating a little bit - only lunch/dinner. Anyway, she's telling her "Main Squeeze" she's working and she's somewhere kickin' it her "chick on the side".

Meanwhile... The other chick who was playing hard to get is jealous, angry, and telling all of the girl's business. Saying the girl should be ashamed of herself because she is "messing around" and she has a family and yadda-yadda. Basically, hatin'.

She doesn't care about the dude. She doesn't care about that girl's family. AND... get this... the other girl is supposed to be one of her "friends".

It's a shame and a scandal... But, You know how haters are.

Anyway... I'm just still laughing at my homeboy from this morning, and I had to tell you about it.

I've went nuts over a pretty face too. But, I'll save that story for another day.

- loveqna

OMG! This girl is sooo hot!

Have you ever felt someone was "out of your league"?

Let me tell you why you should never think that way...

One of my homeboys (a co-worker actually) has a serious problem. He's suffering from "nice guy syndrome". He's TOO polite and FRIENDLY with women. The real problem is he doesn't realize it.

He keeps meeting girls but he keeps having bad luck with them. They seem to think he's a good guy but they only see him as a friend - someone they can talk to.

According to him, his latest prospect was playing games. She was giving him ALL the right signals and invitations but when he asked her out for a date, she told him she had a boyfriend. He was angry and broken-hearted. This keeps happening to that poor sap over and over again. He admitted it. I know it's true because it has happened at work too...

We have some of the finest chicks that you'd ever want to see working with us. I'm talkin' "Dime Divas". Hotties. Tenderonies. Mamacitas... Exotic Women from Brasil and Colombia. Bodacious Blondes. Chocolate Cutie Pies. Sizzlin sistas of all races, shapes, and sizes.

He approached one of them. They talked for a few weeks but he made his move too late. Some other Cat came in and snatched that chick up right up from under him and he was left out in the cold with the po-mouth again. But, he didn't chalk it up to him being a "nice guy" and "too slow" at making a move on the girl. He rationalized his misfortune by saying that the girl was "out of his league".

Out of his league???

He practically had the chick eating out of his hands for 5 or 6 weeks. They must've known each other's life story and history. They talked so much and spent so much time together that some of us thought they were a "couple". But, he NEVER asked the chick out on a date or for her phone number! wtf??? You're interested in getting to know the girl, you talk to her for 5 or 6 weeks and you NEVER ask for her phone number??? Of course she's gonna walk out of your life. He should've been asking for that babe's cell number within the first week - at least by the SECOND week! Hell, she was probably tired of him yappin' about nothing after the first couple of days and wanted some Action! Or, at least a conversation that was more flirtatious and "playful". Damn.

When that Other Dude came in and started talking to the girl, he said, "I think I'm just gonna give up on her. I think I know the type of guys she like. She might be out of my league anyway." He just gave up.

According to him, most of the girls he like are out of his league. But, he can't help himself. He's attracted to popular girls who are slim petite "model" types - attractive "Nice Girls" who are "clean-cut", always neatly dressed, pristine, and somewhat preppy. He says he's attracted to these girls but they aren't attracted to him.

He ruins his self-esteem and good vibes before he even approaches any of those sweet lambs.

Don't fall into that trap. Be realistic. True, there are people out there that believe in "levels" and "leagues" and all that B.S. but... that's dillusional thinking. Look at all these riff-raff local jokers and pot-head hoodrats hooking up with all of these fine cutie-pies out here...

Too many people put too much value on looks, fame, money, and all of "junk" they own or all of the "junk" that OTHER people own and the bottom line is: It doesn't matter! If this pretty-boy or pretty girl won't talk to you, there are thousands out there who will.

If you keep getting your heart broken or afraid to talk to someone because he or she is out of your league, then the simple formula for you is to conquer shyness and learn how to loosen up and appreciate who you are and SOMETHING about your life.

Don't EVER think you're not worthy of another person because he or she may surprise you. In the long run, he or she may not be worthy of you.

All types of people mix, mingle, and start a relationship. Look at some of those hoodrats Tiger Woods hooked up with! Look at what "level" he was on. And Tiger isn't a bad-looking guy. And his wife (at the time) was a "beauty queen"! Do you think many of those women were on HER "level"??? Tiger didn't care about what "level" they were on.

It's not always about how good the other person looks or how popular he or she is, or how much money and popularity he or she has. It's about you. It's about your personality. It's about how interesting you are. It's about how much fun you are to be with. It's about NOT letting the friendship or courtship get stale and monotonous. It's about being assertive and asking for what you WANT - whether it's a phone number, a date, or a kiss, or whatever. You've got to make your move or else you're gonna end up in the "friend zone".

You'll know within a week or two if the person you're interested in is already spoken for or NOT looking for a relationship because he or she will make it clear if you ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS.

You don't have to come right out and ask: "Do you have a girlfriend?" - or, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

You don't have to ask for a date or a phone number right off the bat. You can be tactful and flirtatious and see where it goes from there.

Most important: You have to enjoy yourself and enjoy the moment and just let yourself go! Use your good instincts. When YOU feel the Time is right, make your move.

Be assertive and ask for what you want. Don't wait or else it might be too late!

- loveqna

Style And Swag That Will Put You In The Zone

There's nothing wrong with having your own personal style. The main thing is confidence anyway. And, if you personality shines and you give off a good vibe, that will always outweigh appearances. But, Let's face it...

Some of us need some style and swag in our lives! That's why we ain't gettin' those dates and meeting the man or woman of our dreams. How many good prospects do you think you're going to attract if your weave is flying all over the place or the heels of your shoes are busted? How many good prospects do you think you're going to get if you look like you've just staggered out of the wilderness after 20 years or just woke up looking like you've been on a 10-day drunk???

Have some style and class. If you got it, good. If you don't, get it quick. It will definitely give your love-life a boost!

I know some of you may be satisfied with the way you look, but ain't nothing wrong with making those other guy's and girl's mouths water!

When you're sharp, and looking good, and smelling fresh, you expand your options tremendously. Nobody wants a slob right off the bat! You've got to work your way into it!

First, get the girl (or guy)! THEN you can relax and let your hair down. That's the way to do it.

I'm not saying that you have to dress up in a suit or a ballroom gown everyday to be a sexy piece of eye-candy! Not at all. But, your style has to have some sort of attraction and chemistry to it that fits your personality and tastes. It has to shine.

Your Confidence Level plays a HUGE part in you having style and having fun. Overall, try to enjoy yourself. Have fun and you will look good. Develop the style you have now. Elevate it. And, Just let it flow.

When your style is flowing and you're feeling good, you radiate good vibes. And when you're radiating good vibes, the World takes notice.

So, check out some of the videos and articles I've been lucky enough to swipe off the Internet! They feature some great tips and suggestions from some of the most talented style coaches and gurus out there! And I'm sure they'll help you step up your game and put you in the Zone...

STYLE LINKS COMING SOON


- loveqna