Why Men And Women Cheat - It's Complicated

As you improve your Female Intuition or Male Instincts about relationships and cheating, remember, this is a very complicated issue.

A lot of people believe it's a simple issue because the 10 or 15 reasons most people hear or give for cheating seem like logical explanations. But, although we have all of this "logical" information, it still doesn't seem to help us avoid being cheated on, does it?

Man, these experts are full of sh*t.

I'm gonna post 50 reasons and I'm by no means an expert on this subject.

Never believe that you're a total expert on this subject. But, with these notes, you WILL know more than most. There are just too many factors and variables that come into play. And, some societies and communities do things different so... you'd have to learn their culture and how their relationships work to further enhance your knowledge of infidelity.

Now, let's dig in...

First, Cheating is a complicated issue because no answer is right 100% of the time. Remember: Each couple's situation is different. All cheaters don't cheat for the same reason or reasons.

Second, Cheating is complicated because many cheaters don't admit the truth. But, when they do, most victims don't want to hear the truth. And, there are two sides to every story. Furthermore, sometimes "experts" put words in the cheaters' mouths. So, some of those cheaters will say anything to get those experts to shut-up and leave the issue alone.

Third, most of us are blinded by what people SHOULD or SHOULDN'T do instead of looking at the Reality of the situation - even when we believe the "reality" is wrong. Ain't no need in arguing that people shouldn't cheat or that cheating is stupid. It's a waste of time. There will always be cheaters. Let's find out WHY people are cheating and help REDUCE the chances of it happening to the people we know.

Fourth, many people put too much trust into surveys and theories. Don't be fooled by theories, statistics, surveys, and one or two events as most peopole are. Use them but use good judgement too.

Use your experiences, observations, and good sense. Be MORE aware of what you actually observe, learn, and experience from patterns of deceit, situations, and habits.

So, you have to get all of the facts and information before you jump to any conclusions or make any hasty suggestions to your friends who have been cheated on.

I know I'm over-explaining this but let me give you a few real life scenarios that show how cheating is complicated. And, on the next post, I'll dive right into the sexual reasons why men (mainly men) and women cheat.

Okay...

For instance, let's say you have three friends suffering from infidelity.

Now, we know every cheater doesn't cheat for sex, but let's just say these cheaters are sexually involved with someone else on the side.

Here are THREE REASONS alone why people would cheat for sex.

Cheater #1 may be turned-off by his or her partner's style, weight, lack of attractiveness, personality, etc.

Your friend may be a great person doing all the things a good man or woman would do, but still, he or she gets no love or appreciation in return for all of the hard work, devotion, and dedication that he or she puts into the relationship.

And guess what? He or she will NEVER get the appreciation he or she deserves until the cheater "sees the light" and recognize what a good thing he or she has.

OR....

your friend must lose weight, improve his or her appearance, looks, or style, or develop a "new attitude" to enhance his or her personality.

We can say that people shouldn't change, but the reality is: if they want to keep this relationship, one of them (or BOTH) will have to make changes or it will go on like it is - full of lies and heartache.

Cheater #2...

Now, I don't want to say anything against any of your friends, but let's say you have a friend that's always on the go. Active, out and about. He or she loves chillin' with you and some of your other friends. And, you all spend a lot of time together. And, he or she is always busy with social events or school or work or whatever...

But, your friend hardly has any time with his or her partner - or their family if they have one. And, when they ARE together, your friend is still busy or always on the phone.

Sure, your friend buys gifts and celebrates birthdays and holidays with the cheater and calls and texts but, the cheater feels he or she is never around enough - physically or mentally - so, the cheater feels neglected and lonely.

You see your friend as a swell guy or girl because you really don't know how much time they're spending together or how they interact when they do spend time together. But, in reality, your friend could be neglecting his or her relationship.

Now... Some cheaters are just spoiled and want all the attention they can get so that's a possibility too. But! We still don't know what's really going on unless we know how the cheater feels about their situation or what his or her personality is really like.

So, that cheater could be having sex outside of the relationship because he or she is lonely or because he or she is flattered by the attention from someone new. Or, it could be both reasons.

Cheater #3.

We'll make this last one simple so that we can move on.

A lot of people (maybe most) consider Sex the second most important thing in a relationship with the MOST important thing being Love.

A lot of people believe you have to have sex on a regular basis to have a happy and loving relationship.

So, why would a man or woman cheat if he or she is getting plenty of "loving" at home?

Experts say that most cheaters cheat because they aren't getting enough sex... but what about the cheaters who are getting more than their fare share? What about those bums who are getting more than the rest of us? And, they're still cheating to get more. Why are they cheating for sex?

How do you explain that?

Your friend could be puttin' out plenty. And, giving his or her partner all the sex he or she can handle and the cheater STILL might cheat for sex.

And what makes it so complicated is that it's hard for the cheater to open-up and be honest about what the issue really is and why he or she would cheat for sex when he or she is getting sex regularly at home.

I don't wanna say too much about this now because these are part of our "50 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat" but more than likely it's boredom, or routine, or the cheater is a player or sex-addict. It may be an issue with the cheater or it may be that your friend is not that good in bed. I'm not hatin'. I'm juss sayin' - maybe there aren't fireworks poppin' when the lights pop off.

But, who knows?

You might have to call in Dr. Phil to squeeze the truth out of this mongrel. And, he or she STILL might not admit or tell everything.

You'll probably never hear the truth from ANY of these cheaters.

And, your friend may not give you the whole story. He or she may only mention the bad things that the cheater has done and never mention what he or she failed to bring to the table in the relationship. And, there you are again with a one-sided story. A complicated mess.

But, don't be too critical or over-analyze - especially if you're not getting paid for it.

Sometimes, it's better to just sit and listen to your pal rant, rave, and whine, about how he or she has been done wrong. Often, people don't want an opinion or advice. They just want someone to listen.

And sometimes, that's better than knowing why men and women cheat.

- loveqna