Is My Sugar-Mama Bringing Me Down Or Do I Need To Step Up My Game?

Have you ever heard the ancient proverb: "Behind every successful man is a good woman"? I used to believe that. But, now I wonder how true that proverb really is.

I don't think anybody's life is complete without love or companionship. I believe in Love. I'm looking for Love. But when you look at some of the successful people throughout history - especially women - you can see that having a mate for love, support, friendship, and Success, really isn't necessary. In fact, many of these "successful" people (and middle-class workerbees) ignore Romance and Love so that they are able to focus more on their careers and work. Then they look for love and start a family later in life. And they seem to do allright - financially.

I'm not money-hungry but keep wondering if that's the road I should take. Should I just give up on Love AND Success for now and just focus on having a successful career in some field?

One of the reasons I pursued my current girlfriend was because I really believe that she would a strong support system for me. I was wrong. It's just drama all the time. She has too many distractions in her life that she doesn't seem to know how to deal with and deep down, I don't want to deal with those distractions (and baggage) while I'm in pursuit of my dreams. It's just too much work.

Even if I DO somehow manage to become "A Success" or "financially independent", I don't think I would stay in this relationship. She has put me down so much that I'm just bitter about it, and I don't think I'll ever get over it unless I leave and start a new life. But, it's hard to leave, when you know you have someone you can trust and who's generous and (most of the time) reliable. Maybe I'm afraid of going from bad to worse. And sometimes I just don't feel like putting in the work and time to search and pursue someone new.

I have to admit, in my present financial condition, I'm not a "man of quality", so my "options" may be limited. I was out of work for a couple of years and just recently got back into the game. And unfortunately, the only job I've been able to pick up has been in retail, (part time - but around 35 hours per week). So, right now, I'm more or less surviving on the "scrub level". But, there IS potential for advancement. And while I know I wouldn't have any trouble meeting and dating someone new, I think it would be difficult to find the type of woman I desire. I still want a woman who's sexy, sweet, confident, driven, and family-oriented, BUT, would THAT type of woman be interested in a guy like me? The answer is "yes", but the search would be long - especially if I want to find one who's compatible and who doesn't have a lot of baggage. I like older women, but most older women already have kids and have already been married. I don't want that. Or, they're currently married (but separated) with a baby-daddy lurking somewhere in the midst. That's usually a recipe for drama. And, I ain't got time for that sh*t either.

A chick my own age (or younger) would be nice, but besides being cute and having a hot body, I'm just not that interested...

I care about this chick I'm with now, but, She just likes to fuss, debate, and argue too much. I know she's stressed and tired - but don't take that out on Me! Put your kids in check if you're sick of their crap! I cook for you. I clean up for you. Wash your dishes. Babysit. I do all of your yard work. I have to be a handyman around this big-ass house! Run errands. I have to work on your car - and I'm no mechanic. And still, I have to hear you whine and complain and fuss??? Come on, Man...

That's why she gets no more back rubs, foot rubs, breakfast in bed, cuddling, dates, and intimate conversations... She can have the majority of my paycheck for some of that "sweet brown sugar", but other than that, Love and a long-term relationship is the farthest thing from my mind.

Hopefully, I can get focused, and one day, improve my life as a writer or an entrepreneur. Maybe then, I'll get some Respect - Especially if I'm successful at it. But with all this drama between us, it still may be too late.

- loveqna