How Do You Get Over A Break-Up?

I read a post tonight on a Q and A site (questions and answers) about a guy who was recently divorcd and depressed because his ex-wife had a new boyfriend, and it made me think: What would I do if my girl broke up with me for good and found someone new?

Mmmmm... This chick?

I admit, I'd be a little bitter about being kicked to the curb, but at the same time, I'd feel very much at ease. Relieved.

Right now, I'm used to her. I'm used to her ways. I know her well.

I like most things about her, and I know she cares for me - just a little. And there are certain things I would miss - like the way she kisses, her sexy legs, her crazy personality and the crazy things she'll sometimes say. She's honest and the fact that she is a strong woman and not weak-minded or dainty is a plus. Also, she is not reserved with her affections or timid in bed, so a passionate woman like this would be missed.

BUT... On the other hand, beauty is only skin deep. And, a man (or woman) can only take so much aggravation and pressure, no matter how good the love is and looks are. So, If you're not happy, what's the point? So, right now, I think I could handle being dumped.

If the situation was different - if I was in love - maybe I'd feel different. Maybe I'd bawl, beg, and cry my eyes out, because when I first laid eyes on her, I really felt she was "the one".

I've known people who have gotten dumped and they just fell to pieces.

I had two very close friends break-up once because the girl cheated with a DJ she met at a party. She knew this guy (the DJ) and flirted with him on several occasions. One night, after a party, they hooked-up, and she got pregnant. This girl told her boyfriend that it was his baby - BUT! She thought it would be best if they had an abortion because she wasn't ready for a baby. The truth was: She knew that if she HAD that baby, that there was a very, very, very, very, VERY, strong chance that it would not come out looking like it was THEIR baby (she and her boyfriend). There was probably a 100% chance that it would come out NOT looking like it was their baby. So, she desperately wanted an abortion for fear of breaking his heart.

So, she lied and told her boyfriend it was his, but said she wasn't ready to be a mom because she was in college, so he agreed to pay for the abortion.

Before he did, another friend in our little clique told her man what was REALLY going on. Now, she was afraid. She was afraid of being dumped. But, this guy loved this girl. He was distraught, heartbroken, and torn to shreds over this, but he didn't want to break up with her.

He was sad as hell and asked some of his close friends what he should do. He was asking people he never trusted or liked about this situation. That's when I KNEW he was off his rocker. I felt really bad for this guy and all I could say was: "Man, I don't know." I would've dumped that broad. But, you can't tell a guy who's deeply in love to give up on someone he really cares about. It'll make you angry that he didn't take heed to your advice and if they get back together, they'll hate you or you won't be as close as friends.

Well, some of his cousins were also good friends and were in our clique and they cussed the girl out and cussed him out for dating her in the first place. Some of them never liked her.

They called the girl a skank and every other name in the book. They were sure he was going to break-up with her, but they ended up being even more pissed...

He paid for the abortion, she promised never to cheat on him again, and they stayed together.

A few months passed and everything seemed cool.

But, after a while, he couldn't take it... The trust was gone. And he kept hearing rumors. And his cousins were still on his ass about dating her. So, the relationship just wasn't the same. Even their personalities seemed different. You could tell it was over.

When he broke up with that girl, I thought she was going to kill herself. She was crying and screaming and falling out all over the place - going around in circles and holding her chest. I was almost afraid because of the expressions on face. She really did not look like herself. I thought she was literally going to cry her lungs out. And, he was about to cry. He was REALLY sad about breaking up with this girl. I said, "Damn."

The reason I was shocked at this entire scenario was because I had never been in love. And to see the love and hurt in both of their eyes really amazed me. I didn't understand it. After all that had happened, I could tell he still wanted her and that it was killing him to let her go.

She came on our job with all of that drama and someone had to call one of her girlfriends to drive her home. It was crucial.

We all used to hang out together - weekends, weekdays, holidays...

Things got kind of slack for a while after that. You would've thought she was the one who broke-up with him.

The point is: How do you tell someone who is in love to get over it and move on? A half-ass relationship, you could make plenty of suggestions and tell the person to stay busy, volunteer, take up a new hobby, get out and date, etc... But, if the person is in love - and you don't know how deep that love is - what can you really say to help them? "Only Time heals all wounds?" It may be true, but sometimes, too much Time - to think and reminisce - can drive you insane. What do you think?

I don't know what else to say...

- loveqna