Why Men Tell Lies And Play Games To Get Dates With Women

A lot of men (AND women) will bullsh*t and sell themselves hard to get in the good graces of a potential mate. It happens all the time. You meet someone who seems nice and sweet and they'll feed you all this stuff, claiming that they're honest, supportive, respectful, reliable, and don't have time for games and all that other B.S. - and you think they're serious about wanting to get to know you - and days later, you can't get them on the phone or they're giving you excuses for being busy or whatever. Men and women play these games, but since women ask about it most, let's explore why men do it.

Okay...

So, why do men tell a bunch of lies upfront when meeting someone new instead of keeping it real? It's not hard to figure out. Many of them don't want to miss out on an "opportunity" for sex or friendship - or, possibly a relationship. They're afraid the woman might run off or never give them a chance if she knows the truth about them. He may be afraid she won't want to date a "baby-daddy" or a man who's married, or a man who's broke and has no transportation (for those who lie about having a car "in the shop"). But, there could be ANY REASON for this so, let me tell you my experiences and what some men have told me about why they do things like this...

Now, sometimes a woman may meet a man and he'll tell her that he's ready to settle down and that he's looking for a "good" woman that he can get to know and perhaps spend the rest of his life with and all of that crap - and he may be sincere - but, what happens is: After he talks to the woman a little more and gets to know her, he believes he knows what she's about - and he may not like it. And any woman can see this in her own dealings with men who approach them. Just from the first impression, the woman might judge the man as being a scrub, a lame, a player, a braggart, immature, or a weirdo. She might talk to the man for a few minutes on the phone and he may bore her to death or the conversation might be strange enough that she never wants to speak to him again. It's the same way with guys. After talking with you, he may think you have too much baggage. He may think you're uncompromising. He may think you're boring. He may think you're strange or a little too "strong" - and not in a positive way. Or, he simply may believe you two aren't compatible. This may take a few minutes of conversation for him to come to this conclusion. It may take a few days. A few phone calls. It may take weeks.

The reason he may stay in contact with you is only because YOU continue to call him. If he isn't calling you, that should be a sign that he's either involved or not really interested. And, if you continue to pursue him, you'll end up getting your feelings hurt because you're not the type of woman he wants. You may be an Excellent woman (better than average), but just not what he's looking for.

Now, let me tell you the bad news...

The bad news is: He may not be interested but he might not know how to break the news to you that he's not interested - or even worse - he may be willing to allow you to continue to pursue him (thinking he's interested) but in reality, he's only willing to be "friends" or have sex with you whenever it's "convenient". In this case, you're his "back-up plan" or "something to do" whenever he's bored. So, he'll let the "lie" continue until YOU finally stop pursuing.

And the bad news gets even worse...

You may end up STARTING a relationship with a man like this! And he might lead you on for years and years and years.

He might see you as ONLY "girlfriend material". Nothing "serious". A guy like this doesn't see you as being worthy enough to settle down with or have kids with, but something about you keeps him interested - or at least - coming back for more. The turn-off that keeps him telling lies and breaking promises may be your personality, habits, beliefs, busy career, who knows. Maybe he's only infatuated. You may be cute and have a lot going for yourself, but just not what he's looking for in a woman to have long-term relationship with.

Often, women meet men who seem to don't really know what they want. But in reality, many of them do. This may be a guy who's playing the field - pretending he cares about you and wants to get to know you better but he also has other "friends" in his stable. A player. All he wants is sex and he'll say whatever it takes to get it. Or, he may be in a relationship and is only attracted to you physically. So, he's looking for "a chick on the side" - a little variety in his current dull lifestyle. Or, a form of escape from the hell at home. In this case, a cheater.

A weak man might NOT know what he wants and he'll bounce between two women just because he doesn't want to have anyone angry at him. He may not even be having sex with either woman but he'll try to please them both and be a "good friend" so that neither is mad at him. But he'll drive you crazy because he'll continue to talk on the phone to his Ex and listen to all of her bullsh*t problems and run to help her ass out whenever she requests his assistance. You could probably win this wimp over eventually, but it'll take a while.

Then, there are some guys who WANT a relationship but in reality, they're just too busy to have a meaningful relationship. Some women live like this also. They work, work, work, (and possibly have kids to raise) and have no time for love or romance in their lives, yet they want to start a relationship.

And that brings me to the "cat and mouse scenario". This is where the man is ONLY flirting because the woman seems to be ONLY flirting. He may not realize that - in her mind - she's looking for something serious. She may say she's looking for Love, but he may think she's trying to play games with him. And if they DO decide to "hook-up" too soon, he won't know WHAT to think. He may think the woman is a hoe or a player and not take her serious. Or, he might think she's a hoe or a player and not see her as someone he would take home to Mama. And not to take the blame away from anyone or put the blame on anyone, but oftentimes, that's just the woman - usually an outgoing woman - being misunderstood.

Do you know what the biggest complaint is that most men have about women who ask, "why do so many men lie?"

"Women are always going for the "bad boy" - Mr. Excitement. They don't appreciate a "Nice Guy" or a good man who's honest and willing to treat them right. And that's why they keep getting played."

That's what they say. But in reality, almost any man or woman will tell you exactly what you want to hear just to get what they want - whether it's "friendship", love, a relationship, or sex. The best thing you can do is take your time but let the person know that you're interested, get to know the person, let them get to know you, and pay attention to what they say as well as what they DON'T say. If he's lying, the truth WILL come to the light. Just have your eyes open and be ready to accept it. Don't be "in denial" just because he's cute. And if you have to move on, then move on. Anything worthwhile takes work - a good woman OR a good man.

And, that's it for this long-winded post.

- loveqna