Toxic Relationships - Couples Who Love To Hate

Now, we all know that a good relationship can turn "toxic" BECAUSE of cheating, but let's talk about toxic relationships that CAUSE cheating - and/or break-ups.

A "Toxic Relationship" is a relationship full of anger, bitterness, animosity, spite, antagonism, revenge, vindictiveness, backstabbing, talking behind each other's backs, stubborness, rejection, etc.

For some people, it really is a life of hell. And, it can lead to depression and hopelessness. Not to mention, disassociation, reclusiveness, and a change in personality.

Have you ever had a fun bubbly friend - a lover of Life - whose personality and appearance changed for the worse after they got involved with some loser or a controlling-manipulating person?

I've seen it and it's not a pretty sight - especially when you look into the person's eyes and you can tell that they're "not all there". Philosophers have said that windows are the "eyes to the soul" and some of those people in toxic relationships have souls that are drained and sick. It's sad and pitiful.

A toxic relationship not only leads to cheating or breaking up, it drains you. It wastes your time and your life. It'll make you miss out on a lot of good opportunities and pleasures in life.

Toxic relationships rob you of energy, drive, motivation, clarity, focus, happiness, peace of mind, tranquility, ideas, inspiration, freedom, finances, good health, physical and sexual pleasure, confidence (for some people), a promising future, real love, adventure, opportunities,...

all the best that Life has to offer.

The reason why is because you're always dealing with a lot of foolishness, animosity, and confusion.

This jackass is always around (like a bad vibe) pissin' you off. Sometimes just with his or her presence.

Some people will spend all of their "productive" time trying to please this person or they're sitting at home trying to find ways to block-out all of the drama and keep their sanity.

Or, you do "non-productive" things because you simply want a break from the madness in your relationship.

You can't live your life like that...

Now, I'm not saying you should cheat. As bad as my last relationship was, I didn't do it. I didn't consider it. And, I don't want you to think I'm recommending it.

With that being said, I just want to say that most "bad" (or "toxic") relationships WILL drive a man or woman away - or drive him or her to cheating.

And sadly, a lot of partners don't take this into consideration when they're involved a relationship full of anger, arguments, spite, and all-around drama.

They think that they can just go on talking sh*t to their partner forever.

A sudden break-up or separation or their partner cheating is the last thing on their mind.

And what's REALLY amazing is: the partner who gets dumped or abandoned is SHOCKED and mad as hell when he or she finds out that his or her partner left or is leaving.

All that animosity...

They oughtta be grateful that their "enemy" is gone and out their life. They seem to want to keep the "battles" raging on.

Well, sometimes, it's the person who leaves that wants to keep the drama going.

They'll call asking about the TV:

"I wanna know what time you'll be home so I can come by there and get my TV."

"This ain't yo' damn TV. I paid for this TV."

"WHAT!?! YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY DAMN TV OR I'M GONNA COME OVER THERE AND BURN THAT DAMN HOUSE DOWN! AND I WANT MY DOG TOO!"

What the hell???

I know TVs now days don't come cheap, but some of those TVs that couples go to war over are so damn old, they still have knobs on them for changing the channels.

Let that old-ass bullsh*t go and move on with your life.

They ought to be thankful for the new opportunity to find Real Love, but no. What do they do?

KEEP FUSSIN' AND FIGHTIN'.

Accuse each other not being a good partner.

Blame each other for ruining the relationship.

Or, one accuses the other of cheating (which might be true).

Or, they fuss about lack of communication or lack of support.

Or, being unreliable.

Hell, they'll fuss about anything.

Have you ever noticed that some people will still want to argue and fight even after you've agreed with them or apologized or resolved the issue?

If they're not still arguing with you about it, they're running around telling other people about the situation instead of moving on with their life.

Sometimes there are two people in a relationship like that.

Their goal never seems to be to resolve their issues. Most of the time they just want to argue, complain, and blame each other for the relationship being so screwed-up. They'll get their friends and family involved. Haters will come out of the woodwork...

And, the crazy thing about it is: They'll break-up or separate, get back together, then, break-up again, and sometimes - get back together.

There are a lot of people out there who go through this B.S. every two or three weeks!

A "Love-Hate Relationship" is what most people call it.

These two love-birds can't stand to be with each other, but they can't seem to let each other go.

Sometimes (maybe often), it's sex that keeps them together.

Sometimes, one of them is attracted to the other one's beauty or sex-appeal and don't want to let go.

Sometimes, one of them isn't attracted to the other at all but goes back because he or she doesn't want the poor sap to feel bad. I hate to say it but it's true. I know there have been times when you've wanted to break someone's heart but didn't do it or avoided it because you didn't want him or her to feel bad.

Sometimes, kids are involved and the couple wants to make it work so the kids will have both parents in the home...

Who knows why they stay together.

Each couple has their own reason for trying to make things work when the relationship sucks.

You have people that will stay in a toxic relationship for years and years. And, it doesn't do EITHER PARTNER any good. They should split-up and fix their internal issues. THEN, when they're ready, find someone else or SOMETHING else that will enhance and inspire their lives.

They shouldn't jump right back into another relationship. Most of the time a break from romance is a good thing because it gives you a chance to get yourself together and "sort things out". Then, after you've healed, move on to someone new. Or, reunite if that's what you wanna do.

But, what causes these "toxic relationships"?

I've got a few "ideas" but let me say this first:

We're not talking about occasional arguments or disagreements. We're talking about arguments and bickering that is constant.

Some people even say that occasional arguments are good for a relationship because they allow partners to express themselves, get over past grievances or unspoken of issues, and to release tension and stress brought on by each other.

I believe it's true because some people seem to enjoy fussin, or banter, or sarcasm, every now and then.

But, a toxic relationship never starts out with both partners verbally jousting and throwing things at each other.

In the beginning, like most good relationships, it's all Love, Promises, and Sweet-Talk, and Huggin', and Kissin'. The two want to see each other all the time.

Then, after a few days, or a few months, or a few years, all the swooning and sweet-talk comes to an end. And, the couple who were once in love are like enemies.

There could be all kinds of B.S. going on, but USUALLY, it starts when ONE PARTNER gets pissed at the other one for:


Lack of Interest and Not making the effort

- being selfish and self-centered - doing his or her own thing

- NOT TRYING to improve the relationship, home-life, or his or her life

- not helping out around the house or with the kids or with repairs or with the bills

- being lazy as hell - that's more of a personality or incompatibility issue but it definitely affects the relationship long term.


Lack of Communication

- not discussing major purchases

- neglecting to discuss major changes in one's life (moving, health, etc)

- not wanting to talk or interact

- neglecting to share personal plans that affect both partners

But, Communication isn't just limited to conversation. You communicate with your actions as well - showing how you feel about the relationship and your partner through your actions. Being affectionate and flirtatious, considerate, thoughtful, helpful, supportive, etc.

When one partner rarely has a conversation with his or her partner or barely speaks when they DO talk to each other, this can lead to a dull, boring atmosphere filled with contempt and disgust and the search for something or some-ONE more exciting.


Backstabbing

Another great way a partner can ruin a good relationship or send it into the "toxic zone" is by talking about his or her partner behind his or her back. Or, by confiding in others - including strangers - about what's going on in the relationship. Friends don't like it when you tell other people their business, so why would your partner like it?

Women will chop your head off for doing this.

Usually, when this happens, the relationship is ON ITS WAY DOWNHILL anyway because the backstabber is getting sick and tired of the relationship and is close to giving up.

Misunderstandings, Poor Communication, and Making Assumptions

Usually, it's not ONE THING that will cause major drama, but sometimes there is. And, it could be anything.

The reason why this one issue is able to turn a relationship toxic is because a lot of hurtful and offensive things may be said that are unnecessary. And, one partner may never get over argument. He or she might despise the partner for the rest of their lives.


Trying to Control the relationship and Not Respecting one's partner

- not listening and ignoring his or her partner's ideas, opinions, views, or feelings

- trying to control the partner by guilt-tripping, putting excessive or irrational limitations on his or her lifestyle

- always complaining and ranting and putting his or her partner down

- using sexual limitations to toy with one's partner or play emotional games. Depriving him or her of their need for love, affection, and sensuous and physical contact


Complacency and Not Being Attentive to one's partner or the relationship

When a person gets complacent and allows the relationship to coast along, a neglected partner is the least of their worries. Not only do some people feel neglected - some of them get jealous!

The neglected ones might feel empty and unappreciated or unloved, but the jealous one's will feel the same way PLUS they'll imagine you're up to all kinds of mischief. They'll do things to spite you. They might even cheat in order to get revenge.

- not doing anything new or exploring new things

- not socializing with your partner - wanting to stay at home all the time (if your partner loves to go out) or vice versa

I'm not gonna say one partner is right and the other one is wrong, because either one could have a "good" reason for their actions or complaints.

But, if they can't work things out and settle the matter, it's still going to be a no-win situation.

So, can you see how any of these things can lead to a sorry pitiful piss-ass relationship?

A lot of people out here get a "rush" out of arguing and releasing anger. It makes them feel good.

These people have psychological and biological issues. They're f*ckin' nuts. Seriously. They don't know of any productive ways to release that anger so they take it out on their partners or family.

Some of those mean-spirited jackasses will come right out of "left field" with any kind of old stupid-ass sh*t to start an argument.

One day, I was minding my own business and getting ready for work and my girlfriend (my Ex) just kept staring at me. I don't know what the hell she wanted but I KNEW she wanted to start some sh*t.

All of a sudden, her stupid ass said, "Looks like your head is getting bigger."

wtf???

I started to say: "Bitch, you're fat and it looks like your stomach is getting bigger!"

She had put on a few pounds and I knew she was self-conscious about her weight, so I almost "went-off" and blasted on her ass.

But, I don't call women "B"s. Even though I use that word on this site a lot, it's for effect or to clarify a point.

Anyway...

I could care less what she thought.

But, why try to upset me before I go to work??? Why do that to anybody?

At work, you already have to deal with a lot of other foolishness and B.S. from supervisors, co-workers, and in some cases, customers, so why would you do something like that?

I even think she was disappointed that I didn't respond, because right after that, she asked me if I needed something or wanted her to do something. I don't even know what she said. I said "no" and kept it moving.

Sometimes, that's what you've gotta do to keep the peace and avoid that drama.

Keep your mind on other (more productive) things.

To hell with people like that.

Some ovem are just lazy as hell. They don't get out, mix or mingle, or exercise, so the easiest way to release all of that bottled-up energy is to argue, fuss, and complain about anything.

Well, that's all I have to say about it.

Once you see how a good relationship can go bad and turn into a toxic relationship, you will possess a deeper understanding about what makes men and women cheat and/or leave, and your supernatural instincts about love and romance will shoot through the roof.

If you don't believe me, think back on what you've seen, heard, and experienced about bad relationships... Eventually, it will all be revealed to you.

If you can't see it, you're not in tune with your "third eye".

See the Details. Get a second or third opinion. Keep your ear to the ground and listen close at some of these complaints you hear on the job, in school, or when you're out and about. Some of this drama is on TV too.

Search the Net. Some of these relationship complaints by REAL PEOPLE are on here as well.

Even celebrities go through this stuff...

What do think those "Irreconcilable Differences" listed on all of those DIVORCE papers are all about?

When one of your friends is in a relationship and dealing with drama like this, AND wants to know your opinion, consider these factors to help him or her out. Find out what's REALLY going on and what led to him, her, or their partner cheating or leaving the relationship.

Use your "third eye" to see past the whining, complaining, and sob story.

When your good instincts kick-in and you can see what's actually causing this drama, then you'll know what good advice to give or if you should give any at all. Some people want their relationship to improve. Some people just want to vent and move on.

- loveqna