I'm the type of guy that loves all kinds of women. It doesn't matter to me about their size, height, eye color, skin complexion, nationality, breast size, butt size, whatever. I don't have a real preference. It doesn't even matter to me what their zodiac sign is, I still have love for all ovem.
But, there is one type of woman with certain qualities I admire a little more than rest.
I like women who are strong-minded yet charming. Funny. A woman with a Diva-like style but who often dresses in tight jeans and revealing clothes. I like bold women. A woman who's confident, feisty, and fearless. Even a little bit eccentric. And, she doesn't have to be a beauty queen either. Her overall sex-appeal is more than enough to keep me mesmerized.
Well, I've met a chick like that. She's all that and more. She's a real vixen. And, a hellcat.
Those wolves that come around can't keep their tongues from dragging the ground when they see this sexy little fox wagging her plump little tail. I must admit it: She had my mouth watering too.
And, the crazy thing about it is, this chick has been trying to holla at me ever since I started working at our store.
Well, I gave her my number. I asked her to call me. I got her number. We'll talk and see how things go from there.
She's high maintenance and only interested in men with money. I know that. And, she knows I ain't got no money, so we'll see what's really going on inside her head as we get to know each other better.
What could I possibly get out of this relationship?
What do I see in a woman of this caliber?
Why would any man be interested in pursuing a woman like this?
Is this the same as dating a hoe?
Won't I get jealous?
Won't I get lonely?
What does SHE want from me? Money? Entertainment? Sex? Friendship?
How long will this last?
I know this chick is a player. I know she's high maintenance. What's worse is: she's high maintenance and going through a bit of financial drama. That means she might pick my pockets or milk my bank accounts dry!
If her game is tight, she could possibly clean me out and move on to the next sucker or local-joker!
She knows I'm not a "Baller" with a big bank account. She knew I was broke when I first arrived, yet she has pursued me. Why?
What does this chick see in me? What in the hell does she want???
I definitely admire her and respect her, but, I could only see myself being with her as a "friend" - for a little while. A long term relationship with a player can never last too long. Don't even plan on it. It would drive you crazy - especially if you fell in love. It would break your heart.
A player's definition of Love is always different from everyone else's. A player can claim to love you even though he or she spends time with someone else: "I love you baby. Those other hoes mean nothing to me."
A player is never devoted to anyone except himself - or, herself. And, she's a Pisces. I know there are some faithful Pisces out there, but I've personally never known a Pisces I could trust.
I see us more as "business partners". She has a lot of "game". She has no fear. Gangsta. She's smart. She's sexy. She makes me laugh. She likes to write. And, she's organized. Women are almost always better organized than men, so that's always a winner.
She's top-notch all the way around.
And, she has a sexy-ass walk... I"m like: Damn. This fine-ass...
So, you know I'm impressed. Actually, I feel a little bit intimidated by the situation because I'm not sure what to make of all of this. Her talk-game is strong. She's got me thinking about her...
I hope this b*tch ain't trying to play me for my money. "Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions." And, I don't play that sh*t.
lol. I'm just kiddin'.
Another thing I like about her is she's outspoken, frank, and sensuous. Those gangsta chicks really know how to charm a guy. Soft arms. Nice warm hugs. She's slim and sexy. She smells good... Mmph! I can't stop thinking about this chick.
Anyway... I'm gonna chill with this fine mamacita for a while and see how things go. Maybe we can benefit each other. ??? Who knows, there may be a "connection" or "chemistry" between us. We'll see.
The bad thing about this is: I think about that OTHER chick sometimes too.
Lord, I hope I ain't making a bad decision.
- loveqna
Stories, Jokes, Videos, and How-To Info, about Love, Hate, Dating, The Single Life, and Relationship Drama
NEW! Simp Or Sucker? You Be The Judge.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Why Should You Care "Why Men And Women Cheat" - 2
Before you read on, there's something you should know...
I'm not a professional and I'm only offering my opinions and suggestions based on past and current experience...
I don't know how you live, how you handle your problems, your situation, or your personality, so it's always best if you get a second or third opinion from a friend or a professional.
And, although I like to laugh, joke around, and have fun, I believe in EVERYTHING I tell you... I've lived it, witnessed it, or know the people involved. So, nothing here is "for entertainment purposes only".
All of this information is REAL.
Open your eyes. You can actually see it...
Feel it.
Just like "The Matrix", it's happening all around you.
Look beyond all of the yelling and fighting and you will see AND hear why people cheat. Most of the reasons are common. It's stuff that happens everyday. But, the issues can't be solved because couples and spectators allow the Excitement to blind them. They don't listen or try to understand. The only thing the public wants to see is "action". A fight. Yelling and screaming. Drama.
But, don't You fall into that trap!
Open your mind, eyes, and ears! Use your instincts. Listen close and observe and you will see the Truth. It's right there in front of you...
Once you see it and recognize it in your OWN life or see how it is destroying a friend's life, you can use that knowledge and wisdom to change the situation and turn things around for the better.
But nothing stays the same anyway.
No matter how much we fight to remain the same, some things in our lives and in US must change if we are to improve.
You won't be young forever. You can't play games forever. You can't keep going around in circles forever. Eventually, Time and Mother Nature is going to put a stop to all of that sh*t.
And without real love in your life, you will fall by the wayside and be abandoned and forgotten by young ones whose time it is to come up and live their lives and love and raise their families.
And don't think that with all the wealth and trinkets and the nice home that you have now that it can't be stripped away. I've been in nursing homes. I've seen how families and children have dumped their "responsibilities" off and left them to rot in those cold strange places. It'll make you mad as hell.
Anyway... Do the right thing for yourself - Find Love and Spread Love. When you're old and tired, you'll be glad you did.
Now, back to "the changes"...
The changes that must occur may seem drastic or unreasonable, but if you want to be happy, they must be made.
You may have to make a change in your habits, your lifestyle, your associations, your interests, or even your partner. I'm not gonna suggest that you try to save ANYTHING you don't need or that's not making you happy. I'm not gonna try to convince you to STAY in a relationship or to try and "work it out". That's for YOU to decide. Hell, You know how you feel and what you wanna do.
When my girlfriend dumped me, I didn't beg her to stay with me. I didn't beg for a second chance. I even left a day early. And, when she texted me a couple of days later at 1:00AM in the morning asking me if I missed her, I didn't text her back!
When I was riding that bus and she called me and said "you can't wait to get away from me, can you?" I could've sweet-talked her right there. I knew I didn't have a place to go, but I didn't try to sweet-talk her into keeping me around. To hell with that crazy b*tch.
BUT!
Don't follow in MY footsteps. YOU will know how far you want to go. You'll know what changes you can deal with.
If you're sick and tired of meeting and dating "players" you should want to know why men and women cheat.
If you're sick and tired of getting "played" and cheated on by scrubs and wafflers, then you should want to know why men and women cheat.
If you have gotten cheated on in almost ALL of your relationships, then you should want to know why men and women cheat.
You should want to know this stuff because you'll be able to see WHAT changes you need to make!
You will stop being confused and in awe of the foolishness and ignorance that consumes the lives of these greedy "wannabee pimps and players".
Again, you may have to make a change in your habits, your personality, your lifestyle, or your partner. If you're having problems and you don't want to change anything - even your partner if he or she refuses to change - then, you're gonna keep dealing with drama and foolishness until they destroy your friendship and relationship.
Now, there are some people who will tell you: "Don't try to figure it out. Don't let it worry you. Men are going to cheat. Women are going to cheat. And, that's just how it is."
I'm not gonna lie and say that you can totally stop cheating. But, you can reduce the chances of being cheating on by choosing a mate more wisely and by knowing your partner and what he or she wants and needs. And, if you can satisfy those wants and needs, not only will this help reduce the chances of being cheated on or being played, this will also help reduce break-ups.
When couples know each other inside and out and enjoy pleasing each other, their Love lasts for a very very very long time. And, that's just how it REALLY is.
But, if you're the type of person that has accepted the myth that ALL men and women cheat and you don't mind being cheated on, you don't want to waste any more of your time here.
If you enjoy being single and not having to worry about infidelity, then great. You may not want to waste your time here.
If you don't believe any of this will work for you, go somewhere else. Go back to the same sites, experts, and philosophies that you've been running to in the past. Don't waste your time over here.
For those of you who DON'T like being single and who would prefer being in a relationship without a lot of drama, read on. I'll post more revelations soon and update as my writing improves.
I know deep down inside, some of you feel there is something wrong with you that keeps you on the "business end" of being victimized by cheaters.
You think there's something wrong with you OR you think you will never be able to figure these love-birds out.
Some of you out there are getting played, used, and abused and you're sick of it. You're sick of games. You're sick and tired of lies and liars. You're sick and tired of falling in love and having your heart broken by scumbags.
Stick with me. You will be able to figure all of this out. The Truth is in the message.
Open your Mind.
Listen and use your "third eye". Use your Instincts and Experience. Develop your Intuition.
You don't have to search hard to find Real Love. When you have knowledge and radiate good vibes, it will find You.
- loveqna
I'm not a professional and I'm only offering my opinions and suggestions based on past and current experience...
I don't know how you live, how you handle your problems, your situation, or your personality, so it's always best if you get a second or third opinion from a friend or a professional.
And, although I like to laugh, joke around, and have fun, I believe in EVERYTHING I tell you... I've lived it, witnessed it, or know the people involved. So, nothing here is "for entertainment purposes only".
All of this information is REAL.
Open your eyes. You can actually see it...
Feel it.
Just like "The Matrix", it's happening all around you.
Look beyond all of the yelling and fighting and you will see AND hear why people cheat. Most of the reasons are common. It's stuff that happens everyday. But, the issues can't be solved because couples and spectators allow the Excitement to blind them. They don't listen or try to understand. The only thing the public wants to see is "action". A fight. Yelling and screaming. Drama.
But, don't You fall into that trap!
Open your mind, eyes, and ears! Use your instincts. Listen close and observe and you will see the Truth. It's right there in front of you...
Once you see it and recognize it in your OWN life or see how it is destroying a friend's life, you can use that knowledge and wisdom to change the situation and turn things around for the better.
But nothing stays the same anyway.
No matter how much we fight to remain the same, some things in our lives and in US must change if we are to improve.
You won't be young forever. You can't play games forever. You can't keep going around in circles forever. Eventually, Time and Mother Nature is going to put a stop to all of that sh*t.
And without real love in your life, you will fall by the wayside and be abandoned and forgotten by young ones whose time it is to come up and live their lives and love and raise their families.
And don't think that with all the wealth and trinkets and the nice home that you have now that it can't be stripped away. I've been in nursing homes. I've seen how families and children have dumped their "responsibilities" off and left them to rot in those cold strange places. It'll make you mad as hell.
Anyway... Do the right thing for yourself - Find Love and Spread Love. When you're old and tired, you'll be glad you did.
Now, back to "the changes"...
The changes that must occur may seem drastic or unreasonable, but if you want to be happy, they must be made.
You may have to make a change in your habits, your lifestyle, your associations, your interests, or even your partner. I'm not gonna suggest that you try to save ANYTHING you don't need or that's not making you happy. I'm not gonna try to convince you to STAY in a relationship or to try and "work it out". That's for YOU to decide. Hell, You know how you feel and what you wanna do.
When my girlfriend dumped me, I didn't beg her to stay with me. I didn't beg for a second chance. I even left a day early. And, when she texted me a couple of days later at 1:00AM in the morning asking me if I missed her, I didn't text her back!
When I was riding that bus and she called me and said "you can't wait to get away from me, can you?" I could've sweet-talked her right there. I knew I didn't have a place to go, but I didn't try to sweet-talk her into keeping me around. To hell with that crazy b*tch.
BUT!
Don't follow in MY footsteps. YOU will know how far you want to go. You'll know what changes you can deal with.
If you're sick and tired of meeting and dating "players" you should want to know why men and women cheat.
If you're sick and tired of getting "played" and cheated on by scrubs and wafflers, then you should want to know why men and women cheat.
If you have gotten cheated on in almost ALL of your relationships, then you should want to know why men and women cheat.
You should want to know this stuff because you'll be able to see WHAT changes you need to make!
You will stop being confused and in awe of the foolishness and ignorance that consumes the lives of these greedy "wannabee pimps and players".
Again, you may have to make a change in your habits, your personality, your lifestyle, or your partner. If you're having problems and you don't want to change anything - even your partner if he or she refuses to change - then, you're gonna keep dealing with drama and foolishness until they destroy your friendship and relationship.
Now, there are some people who will tell you: "Don't try to figure it out. Don't let it worry you. Men are going to cheat. Women are going to cheat. And, that's just how it is."
I'm not gonna lie and say that you can totally stop cheating. But, you can reduce the chances of being cheating on by choosing a mate more wisely and by knowing your partner and what he or she wants and needs. And, if you can satisfy those wants and needs, not only will this help reduce the chances of being cheated on or being played, this will also help reduce break-ups.
When couples know each other inside and out and enjoy pleasing each other, their Love lasts for a very very very long time. And, that's just how it REALLY is.
But, if you're the type of person that has accepted the myth that ALL men and women cheat and you don't mind being cheated on, you don't want to waste any more of your time here.
If you enjoy being single and not having to worry about infidelity, then great. You may not want to waste your time here.
If you don't believe any of this will work for you, go somewhere else. Go back to the same sites, experts, and philosophies that you've been running to in the past. Don't waste your time over here.
For those of you who DON'T like being single and who would prefer being in a relationship without a lot of drama, read on. I'll post more revelations soon and update as my writing improves.
I know deep down inside, some of you feel there is something wrong with you that keeps you on the "business end" of being victimized by cheaters.
You think there's something wrong with you OR you think you will never be able to figure these love-birds out.
Some of you out there are getting played, used, and abused and you're sick of it. You're sick of games. You're sick and tired of lies and liars. You're sick and tired of falling in love and having your heart broken by scumbags.
Stick with me. You will be able to figure all of this out. The Truth is in the message.
Open your Mind.
Listen and use your "third eye". Use your Instincts and Experience. Develop your Intuition.
You don't have to search hard to find Real Love. When you have knowledge and radiate good vibes, it will find You.
- loveqna
Friday, June 17, 2011
3 of 13 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex
I think I have run out of the reasons why men and women cheat for sex, but I will add to this post if necessary when I update it with more details later.
After this, we'll move on to 37 more reasons why men and women cheat. They will be in categories as well.
Plus, I'll tell you why men and women DON'T CHEAT so look out for that.
Don't forget to check out the previous posts to help you build on your instincts or intuition. Remember, the stronger your intuition and vibes, the more success you will have at helping your friends and others.
And, this will eventually make the world a better place.
Here are the 3 out of 13 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex:
11) Curiosity about what the person is like in bed. This is different from being curious about a certain type of sex or certain lifestyle. Here, the cheater is interested in "exploring" the person.
12) Revenge or spite
13) Has a rare opportunity (possibly one chance) to experience his or her fantasy - celebrity; dream girl; dream guy; fantasy situation
Like I said, there may be more, but we'll see.
I've now been awake for 24 hours. I'm going to rest before work.
Take care!
- loveqna
After this, we'll move on to 37 more reasons why men and women cheat. They will be in categories as well.
Plus, I'll tell you why men and women DON'T CHEAT so look out for that.
Don't forget to check out the previous posts to help you build on your instincts or intuition. Remember, the stronger your intuition and vibes, the more success you will have at helping your friends and others.
And, this will eventually make the world a better place.
Here are the 3 out of 13 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex:
11) Curiosity about what the person is like in bed. This is different from being curious about a certain type of sex or certain lifestyle. Here, the cheater is interested in "exploring" the person.
12) Revenge or spite
13) Has a rare opportunity (possibly one chance) to experience his or her fantasy - celebrity; dream girl; dream guy; fantasy situation
Like I said, there may be more, but we'll see.
I've now been awake for 24 hours. I'm going to rest before work.
Take care!
- loveqna
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
5 MORE Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex
Honestly, I hate to post this info without an explanation, but I've been so tired due to work, that I don't have all of the strength and motivation I need to go through the motions. My thoughts are mostly clear in that I know what I want to say.
But, as usual, I have TOO much to say.
And, sadly, I wasted my day off lying in bed.
I DID finally finish the post on "Toxic Relationships" but my mind went on and on and on.
Unlike most people, I don't have writer's block. I have "mental floods".
I keep thinking and thinking of things to talk about and I end up not talking about anything. Maybe it's A.D.D. ???
I'll update this post later but trust me on this for now.
---------------------------------------
5 MORE Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex:
6) He’s not interested in sex with his woman or She's not interested in sex with her man.
These cheaters aren't simply bored, they just flat-out don't like having sex with their partner.
Usually, there’s a physical turn-off but there could also be a "performance" turn-off.
- "junk" size (too small OR too big)
- lack of movement or "work" in the bed (poor "action")
- body type or size
- hygiene
- no "sexual chemistry"
7) He or She is a sex addict.
A lot of people out there say there is no such thing as a "sex-addict". The truth of it all is: Humans have a lot of things they're addicted to.
Some people are addicted to drugs. Some are addicted to alcohol. Some are addicted to shopping. Some are addicted to shoes. Some are addicted to work (workaholics). And, some are addicted to Sex.
NOW...
Don't get it twisted. Just because a person has a sexual addiction and is addicted to sex, that doesn't mean he or she is necessarily having sex with another person on a regular basis. He or she could be having sex alone 5 or 6 times (or more) per week.
If he or she is constantly downloading "flicks" on the Internet or is constantly viewing his or her dirty movies and magazines those are signs of an addiction.
If he or she is constantly trying to get his or her partner in bed for a quick romp, that's a sign of a sexual addiction. Some people want to "do it" every day. Some two or three times a day. And, some partners get worn out by this and don't know what the hell to do.
Anyway...
Some sex addicts DO get their fix from other places besides their partner. Sometimes it's with another addict, or a hoochie, or an admirer, or someone who is looking for a new adventure.
Sometimes, they have to "handle their business" on their own.
More on Sex Addicts here.
8) He or she wanted to satisfy his or her curiosity about a Fetish.
I don't want to say too much more about this one yet because there are two or three other very similar reasons why someone would cheat. And, people might believe these are the same reason. But, some of those reasons DON'T INVOLVE sex.
9) He or she likes variety - different "experiences".
One day, I'm gonna post "The Mysteries Of Sex". I created those notes for a topic such as this, but I'll get around to it later. Anyway... The person who cheats for variety is like a cross between a sex-addict and someone who doesn't believe in sex with one person.
The most important thing to remember is this: A cheater who prefers "variety" is usually a "player". And, usually, the victim is done wrong in a new relationship. Although, there are players who are married as well.
These cheating players are usually still having sex with their wives or husbands, or girlfriends, or boyfriends, but they like to mix things up as well by "playing the field" and having sex with others.
They hang out at the same places singles do. They don't wear wedding rings or take off their wedding bands when they want to hollah at a chick or a hunk. They're always flirting as if they're single. Many of them stay "fresh", "fly", and stylish to attract prospects...
And, the bad thing about it all is this - and this is how you'll know I'm not just talking out of my ass:
Sometimes, these players will give their partner a disease.
Or, get pregnant. Or, get someone pregnant.
Then, they move on to the next relationship. Although, some DO straighten-up and change their ways. But... Is it really necessary now???
I guess it depends on the victim and how he or she feels.
This last post, women won't like because many men lie about this scenario and try to use it as an excuse for cheating.
READ MY LIPS! There isn't a "good excuse". There is NO EXCUSE for cheating.
But, this DOES happen. It's Reality. It happens, so ain't no use in hiding from it or denying it.
10) He or she got drunk or high (and horny).
I've dissected a frog before but I don't know anything about Biology or Chemistry. I don't know what it is in alcohol or some drugs that makes people hot and horny.
I don't know what they put in that stuff that makes people want to "get it on" but I DO know there's SOMETHING in there!
And, if a man or woman who's involved in a relationship ain't got enough sense to avoid it or consume in moderation, they'll end up making a fool of himself (or herself) or end up doing something he or she might regret.
Some people like to go to clubs and parties and get drunk and pursue prospects for sex. Most of those guys and girls are hoes.
Then, you have some people who love to drink and/or get high and can't handle the sh*t, and they get taken advantage of or outright ignore the fact that they're in a relationship and run off to spend the night with someone he or she thinks is cute.
To be honest, ain't no telling what these drunkards might do or who they might spend the night with.
They'll even give their curiosities and fantasies a try when they're drunk. So, you never know WHO or WHAT they may end up sleeping with THAT night. They might come home in the morning butt-naked covered in wax and whipped cream riding on back of a damn billy-goat.
Damn!
Sexual Roulette.
That's why a lot of men don't like women who drink. lol. They don't want to take ANY chances of those girls getting drunk and giving their "stuff" away.
I'm serious.
Anyway, there are a few more reasons why people cheat for sex that I'd like to post this week so that we can move on to the other reasons, but my work week has started again (Wed - Sun), so we'll see.
Well, I may still update this later. I didn't think I would be adding this much to this post, but I'll meditate on it and decide if more should be added later.
Keep working on those romantic instincts. Keep observing but don't over-analyze.
I've got 45 minutes to get a nap and go to work. I'll see you later.
- loveqna
But, as usual, I have TOO much to say.
And, sadly, I wasted my day off lying in bed.
I DID finally finish the post on "Toxic Relationships" but my mind went on and on and on.
Unlike most people, I don't have writer's block. I have "mental floods".
I keep thinking and thinking of things to talk about and I end up not talking about anything. Maybe it's A.D.D. ???
I'll update this post later but trust me on this for now.
---------------------------------------
5 MORE Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex:
6) He’s not interested in sex with his woman or She's not interested in sex with her man.
These cheaters aren't simply bored, they just flat-out don't like having sex with their partner.
Usually, there’s a physical turn-off but there could also be a "performance" turn-off.
- "junk" size (too small OR too big)
- lack of movement or "work" in the bed (poor "action")
- body type or size
- hygiene
- no "sexual chemistry"
7) He or She is a sex addict.
A lot of people out there say there is no such thing as a "sex-addict". The truth of it all is: Humans have a lot of things they're addicted to.
Some people are addicted to drugs. Some are addicted to alcohol. Some are addicted to shopping. Some are addicted to shoes. Some are addicted to work (workaholics). And, some are addicted to Sex.
NOW...
Don't get it twisted. Just because a person has a sexual addiction and is addicted to sex, that doesn't mean he or she is necessarily having sex with another person on a regular basis. He or she could be having sex alone 5 or 6 times (or more) per week.
If he or she is constantly downloading "flicks" on the Internet or is constantly viewing his or her dirty movies and magazines those are signs of an addiction.
If he or she is constantly trying to get his or her partner in bed for a quick romp, that's a sign of a sexual addiction. Some people want to "do it" every day. Some two or three times a day. And, some partners get worn out by this and don't know what the hell to do.
Anyway...
Some sex addicts DO get their fix from other places besides their partner. Sometimes it's with another addict, or a hoochie, or an admirer, or someone who is looking for a new adventure.
Sometimes, they have to "handle their business" on their own.
More on Sex Addicts here.
8) He or she wanted to satisfy his or her curiosity about a Fetish.
I don't want to say too much more about this one yet because there are two or three other very similar reasons why someone would cheat. And, people might believe these are the same reason. But, some of those reasons DON'T INVOLVE sex.
9) He or she likes variety - different "experiences".
One day, I'm gonna post "The Mysteries Of Sex". I created those notes for a topic such as this, but I'll get around to it later. Anyway... The person who cheats for variety is like a cross between a sex-addict and someone who doesn't believe in sex with one person.
The most important thing to remember is this: A cheater who prefers "variety" is usually a "player". And, usually, the victim is done wrong in a new relationship. Although, there are players who are married as well.
These cheating players are usually still having sex with their wives or husbands, or girlfriends, or boyfriends, but they like to mix things up as well by "playing the field" and having sex with others.
They hang out at the same places singles do. They don't wear wedding rings or take off their wedding bands when they want to hollah at a chick or a hunk. They're always flirting as if they're single. Many of them stay "fresh", "fly", and stylish to attract prospects...
And, the bad thing about it all is this - and this is how you'll know I'm not just talking out of my ass:
Sometimes, these players will give their partner a disease.
Or, get pregnant. Or, get someone pregnant.
Then, they move on to the next relationship. Although, some DO straighten-up and change their ways. But... Is it really necessary now???
I guess it depends on the victim and how he or she feels.
This last post, women won't like because many men lie about this scenario and try to use it as an excuse for cheating.
READ MY LIPS! There isn't a "good excuse". There is NO EXCUSE for cheating.
But, this DOES happen. It's Reality. It happens, so ain't no use in hiding from it or denying it.
10) He or she got drunk or high (and horny).
I've dissected a frog before but I don't know anything about Biology or Chemistry. I don't know what it is in alcohol or some drugs that makes people hot and horny.
I don't know what they put in that stuff that makes people want to "get it on" but I DO know there's SOMETHING in there!
And, if a man or woman who's involved in a relationship ain't got enough sense to avoid it or consume in moderation, they'll end up making a fool of himself (or herself) or end up doing something he or she might regret.
Some people like to go to clubs and parties and get drunk and pursue prospects for sex. Most of those guys and girls are hoes.
Then, you have some people who love to drink and/or get high and can't handle the sh*t, and they get taken advantage of or outright ignore the fact that they're in a relationship and run off to spend the night with someone he or she thinks is cute.
To be honest, ain't no telling what these drunkards might do or who they might spend the night with.
They'll even give their curiosities and fantasies a try when they're drunk. So, you never know WHO or WHAT they may end up sleeping with THAT night. They might come home in the morning butt-naked covered in wax and whipped cream riding on back of a damn billy-goat.
Damn!
Sexual Roulette.
That's why a lot of men don't like women who drink. lol. They don't want to take ANY chances of those girls getting drunk and giving their "stuff" away.
I'm serious.
Anyway, there are a few more reasons why people cheat for sex that I'd like to post this week so that we can move on to the other reasons, but my work week has started again (Wed - Sun), so we'll see.
Well, I may still update this later. I didn't think I would be adding this much to this post, but I'll meditate on it and decide if more should be added later.
Keep working on those romantic instincts. Keep observing but don't over-analyze.
I've got 45 minutes to get a nap and go to work. I'll see you later.
- loveqna
Toxic Relationships - Couples Who Love To Hate
Now, we all know that a good relationship can turn "toxic" BECAUSE of cheating, but let's talk about toxic relationships that CAUSE cheating - and/or break-ups.
A "Toxic Relationship" is a relationship full of anger, bitterness, animosity, spite, antagonism, revenge, vindictiveness, backstabbing, talking behind each other's backs, stubborness, rejection, etc.
For some people, it really is a life of hell. And, it can lead to depression and hopelessness. Not to mention, disassociation, reclusiveness, and a change in personality.
Have you ever had a fun bubbly friend - a lover of Life - whose personality and appearance changed for the worse after they got involved with some loser or a controlling-manipulating person?
I've seen it and it's not a pretty sight - especially when you look into the person's eyes and you can tell that they're "not all there". Philosophers have said that windows are the "eyes to the soul" and some of those people in toxic relationships have souls that are drained and sick. It's sad and pitiful.
A toxic relationship not only leads to cheating or breaking up, it drains you. It wastes your time and your life. It'll make you miss out on a lot of good opportunities and pleasures in life.
Toxic relationships rob you of energy, drive, motivation, clarity, focus, happiness, peace of mind, tranquility, ideas, inspiration, freedom, finances, good health, physical and sexual pleasure, confidence (for some people), a promising future, real love, adventure, opportunities,...
all the best that Life has to offer.
The reason why is because you're always dealing with a lot of foolishness, animosity, and confusion.
This jackass is always around (like a bad vibe) pissin' you off. Sometimes just with his or her presence.
Some people will spend all of their "productive" time trying to please this person or they're sitting at home trying to find ways to block-out all of the drama and keep their sanity.
Or, you do "non-productive" things because you simply want a break from the madness in your relationship.
You can't live your life like that...
Now, I'm not saying you should cheat. As bad as my last relationship was, I didn't do it. I didn't consider it. And, I don't want you to think I'm recommending it.
With that being said, I just want to say that most "bad" (or "toxic") relationships WILL drive a man or woman away - or drive him or her to cheating.
And sadly, a lot of partners don't take this into consideration when they're involved a relationship full of anger, arguments, spite, and all-around drama.
They think that they can just go on talking sh*t to their partner forever.
A sudden break-up or separation or their partner cheating is the last thing on their mind.
And what's REALLY amazing is: the partner who gets dumped or abandoned is SHOCKED and mad as hell when he or she finds out that his or her partner left or is leaving.
All that animosity...
They oughtta be grateful that their "enemy" is gone and out their life. They seem to want to keep the "battles" raging on.
Well, sometimes, it's the person who leaves that wants to keep the drama going.
They'll call asking about the TV:
"I wanna know what time you'll be home so I can come by there and get my TV."
"This ain't yo' damn TV. I paid for this TV."
"WHAT!?! YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY DAMN TV OR I'M GONNA COME OVER THERE AND BURN THAT DAMN HOUSE DOWN! AND I WANT MY DOG TOO!"
What the hell???
I know TVs now days don't come cheap, but some of those TVs that couples go to war over are so damn old, they still have knobs on them for changing the channels.
Let that old-ass bullsh*t go and move on with your life.
They ought to be thankful for the new opportunity to find Real Love, but no. What do they do?
KEEP FUSSIN' AND FIGHTIN'.
Accuse each other not being a good partner.
Blame each other for ruining the relationship.
Or, one accuses the other of cheating (which might be true).
Or, they fuss about lack of communication or lack of support.
Or, being unreliable.
Hell, they'll fuss about anything.
Have you ever noticed that some people will still want to argue and fight even after you've agreed with them or apologized or resolved the issue?
If they're not still arguing with you about it, they're running around telling other people about the situation instead of moving on with their life.
Sometimes there are two people in a relationship like that.
Their goal never seems to be to resolve their issues. Most of the time they just want to argue, complain, and blame each other for the relationship being so screwed-up. They'll get their friends and family involved. Haters will come out of the woodwork...
And, the crazy thing about it is: They'll break-up or separate, get back together, then, break-up again, and sometimes - get back together.
There are a lot of people out there who go through this B.S. every two or three weeks!
A "Love-Hate Relationship" is what most people call it.
These two love-birds can't stand to be with each other, but they can't seem to let each other go.
Sometimes (maybe often), it's sex that keeps them together.
Sometimes, one of them is attracted to the other one's beauty or sex-appeal and don't want to let go.
Sometimes, one of them isn't attracted to the other at all but goes back because he or she doesn't want the poor sap to feel bad. I hate to say it but it's true. I know there have been times when you've wanted to break someone's heart but didn't do it or avoided it because you didn't want him or her to feel bad.
Sometimes, kids are involved and the couple wants to make it work so the kids will have both parents in the home...
Who knows why they stay together.
Each couple has their own reason for trying to make things work when the relationship sucks.
You have people that will stay in a toxic relationship for years and years. And, it doesn't do EITHER PARTNER any good. They should split-up and fix their internal issues. THEN, when they're ready, find someone else or SOMETHING else that will enhance and inspire their lives.
They shouldn't jump right back into another relationship. Most of the time a break from romance is a good thing because it gives you a chance to get yourself together and "sort things out". Then, after you've healed, move on to someone new. Or, reunite if that's what you wanna do.
But, what causes these "toxic relationships"?
I've got a few "ideas" but let me say this first:
We're not talking about occasional arguments or disagreements. We're talking about arguments and bickering that is constant.
Some people even say that occasional arguments are good for a relationship because they allow partners to express themselves, get over past grievances or unspoken of issues, and to release tension and stress brought on by each other.
I believe it's true because some people seem to enjoy fussin, or banter, or sarcasm, every now and then.
But, a toxic relationship never starts out with both partners verbally jousting and throwing things at each other.
In the beginning, like most good relationships, it's all Love, Promises, and Sweet-Talk, and Huggin', and Kissin'. The two want to see each other all the time.
Then, after a few days, or a few months, or a few years, all the swooning and sweet-talk comes to an end. And, the couple who were once in love are like enemies.
There could be all kinds of B.S. going on, but USUALLY, it starts when ONE PARTNER gets pissed at the other one for:
Lack of Interest and Not making the effort
- being selfish and self-centered - doing his or her own thing
- NOT TRYING to improve the relationship, home-life, or his or her life
- not helping out around the house or with the kids or with repairs or with the bills
- being lazy as hell - that's more of a personality or incompatibility issue but it definitely affects the relationship long term.
Lack of Communication
- not discussing major purchases
- neglecting to discuss major changes in one's life (moving, health, etc)
- not wanting to talk or interact
- neglecting to share personal plans that affect both partners
But, Communication isn't just limited to conversation. You communicate with your actions as well - showing how you feel about the relationship and your partner through your actions. Being affectionate and flirtatious, considerate, thoughtful, helpful, supportive, etc.
When one partner rarely has a conversation with his or her partner or barely speaks when they DO talk to each other, this can lead to a dull, boring atmosphere filled with contempt and disgust and the search for something or some-ONE more exciting.
Backstabbing
Another great way a partner can ruin a good relationship or send it into the "toxic zone" is by talking about his or her partner behind his or her back. Or, by confiding in others - including strangers - about what's going on in the relationship. Friends don't like it when you tell other people their business, so why would your partner like it?
Women will chop your head off for doing this.
Usually, when this happens, the relationship is ON ITS WAY DOWNHILL anyway because the backstabber is getting sick and tired of the relationship and is close to giving up.
Misunderstandings, Poor Communication, and Making Assumptions
Usually, it's not ONE THING that will cause major drama, but sometimes there is. And, it could be anything.
The reason why this one issue is able to turn a relationship toxic is because a lot of hurtful and offensive things may be said that are unnecessary. And, one partner may never get over argument. He or she might despise the partner for the rest of their lives.
Trying to Control the relationship and Not Respecting one's partner
- not listening and ignoring his or her partner's ideas, opinions, views, or feelings
- trying to control the partner by guilt-tripping, putting excessive or irrational limitations on his or her lifestyle
- always complaining and ranting and putting his or her partner down
- using sexual limitations to toy with one's partner or play emotional games. Depriving him or her of their need for love, affection, and sensuous and physical contact
Complacency and Not Being Attentive to one's partner or the relationship
When a person gets complacent and allows the relationship to coast along, a neglected partner is the least of their worries. Not only do some people feel neglected - some of them get jealous!
The neglected ones might feel empty and unappreciated or unloved, but the jealous one's will feel the same way PLUS they'll imagine you're up to all kinds of mischief. They'll do things to spite you. They might even cheat in order to get revenge.
- not doing anything new or exploring new things
- not socializing with your partner - wanting to stay at home all the time (if your partner loves to go out) or vice versa
I'm not gonna say one partner is right and the other one is wrong, because either one could have a "good" reason for their actions or complaints.
But, if they can't work things out and settle the matter, it's still going to be a no-win situation.
So, can you see how any of these things can lead to a sorry pitiful piss-ass relationship?
A lot of people out here get a "rush" out of arguing and releasing anger. It makes them feel good.
These people have psychological and biological issues. They're f*ckin' nuts. Seriously. They don't know of any productive ways to release that anger so they take it out on their partners or family.
Some of those mean-spirited jackasses will come right out of "left field" with any kind of old stupid-ass sh*t to start an argument.
One day, I was minding my own business and getting ready for work and my girlfriend (my Ex) just kept staring at me. I don't know what the hell she wanted but I KNEW she wanted to start some sh*t.
All of a sudden, her stupid ass said, "Looks like your head is getting bigger."
wtf???
I started to say: "Bitch, you're fat and it looks like your stomach is getting bigger!"
She had put on a few pounds and I knew she was self-conscious about her weight, so I almost "went-off" and blasted on her ass.
But, I don't call women "B"s. Even though I use that word on this site a lot, it's for effect or to clarify a point.
Anyway...
I could care less what she thought.
But, why try to upset me before I go to work??? Why do that to anybody?
At work, you already have to deal with a lot of other foolishness and B.S. from supervisors, co-workers, and in some cases, customers, so why would you do something like that?
I even think she was disappointed that I didn't respond, because right after that, she asked me if I needed something or wanted her to do something. I don't even know what she said. I said "no" and kept it moving.
Sometimes, that's what you've gotta do to keep the peace and avoid that drama.
Keep your mind on other (more productive) things.
To hell with people like that.
Some ovem are just lazy as hell. They don't get out, mix or mingle, or exercise, so the easiest way to release all of that bottled-up energy is to argue, fuss, and complain about anything.
Well, that's all I have to say about it.
Once you see how a good relationship can go bad and turn into a toxic relationship, you will possess a deeper understanding about what makes men and women cheat and/or leave, and your supernatural instincts about love and romance will shoot through the roof.
If you don't believe me, think back on what you've seen, heard, and experienced about bad relationships... Eventually, it will all be revealed to you.
If you can't see it, you're not in tune with your "third eye".
See the Details. Get a second or third opinion. Keep your ear to the ground and listen close at some of these complaints you hear on the job, in school, or when you're out and about. Some of this drama is on TV too.
Search the Net. Some of these relationship complaints by REAL PEOPLE are on here as well.
Even celebrities go through this stuff...
What do think those "Irreconcilable Differences" listed on all of those DIVORCE papers are all about?
When one of your friends is in a relationship and dealing with drama like this, AND wants to know your opinion, consider these factors to help him or her out. Find out what's REALLY going on and what led to him, her, or their partner cheating or leaving the relationship.
Use your "third eye" to see past the whining, complaining, and sob story.
When your good instincts kick-in and you can see what's actually causing this drama, then you'll know what good advice to give or if you should give any at all. Some people want their relationship to improve. Some people just want to vent and move on.
- loveqna
A "Toxic Relationship" is a relationship full of anger, bitterness, animosity, spite, antagonism, revenge, vindictiveness, backstabbing, talking behind each other's backs, stubborness, rejection, etc.
For some people, it really is a life of hell. And, it can lead to depression and hopelessness. Not to mention, disassociation, reclusiveness, and a change in personality.
Have you ever had a fun bubbly friend - a lover of Life - whose personality and appearance changed for the worse after they got involved with some loser or a controlling-manipulating person?
I've seen it and it's not a pretty sight - especially when you look into the person's eyes and you can tell that they're "not all there". Philosophers have said that windows are the "eyes to the soul" and some of those people in toxic relationships have souls that are drained and sick. It's sad and pitiful.
A toxic relationship not only leads to cheating or breaking up, it drains you. It wastes your time and your life. It'll make you miss out on a lot of good opportunities and pleasures in life.
Toxic relationships rob you of energy, drive, motivation, clarity, focus, happiness, peace of mind, tranquility, ideas, inspiration, freedom, finances, good health, physical and sexual pleasure, confidence (for some people), a promising future, real love, adventure, opportunities,...
all the best that Life has to offer.
The reason why is because you're always dealing with a lot of foolishness, animosity, and confusion.
This jackass is always around (like a bad vibe) pissin' you off. Sometimes just with his or her presence.
Some people will spend all of their "productive" time trying to please this person or they're sitting at home trying to find ways to block-out all of the drama and keep their sanity.
Or, you do "non-productive" things because you simply want a break from the madness in your relationship.
You can't live your life like that...
Now, I'm not saying you should cheat. As bad as my last relationship was, I didn't do it. I didn't consider it. And, I don't want you to think I'm recommending it.
With that being said, I just want to say that most "bad" (or "toxic") relationships WILL drive a man or woman away - or drive him or her to cheating.
And sadly, a lot of partners don't take this into consideration when they're involved a relationship full of anger, arguments, spite, and all-around drama.
They think that they can just go on talking sh*t to their partner forever.
A sudden break-up or separation or their partner cheating is the last thing on their mind.
And what's REALLY amazing is: the partner who gets dumped or abandoned is SHOCKED and mad as hell when he or she finds out that his or her partner left or is leaving.
All that animosity...
They oughtta be grateful that their "enemy" is gone and out their life. They seem to want to keep the "battles" raging on.
Well, sometimes, it's the person who leaves that wants to keep the drama going.
They'll call asking about the TV:
"I wanna know what time you'll be home so I can come by there and get my TV."
"This ain't yo' damn TV. I paid for this TV."
"WHAT!?! YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY DAMN TV OR I'M GONNA COME OVER THERE AND BURN THAT DAMN HOUSE DOWN! AND I WANT MY DOG TOO!"
What the hell???
I know TVs now days don't come cheap, but some of those TVs that couples go to war over are so damn old, they still have knobs on them for changing the channels.
Let that old-ass bullsh*t go and move on with your life.
They ought to be thankful for the new opportunity to find Real Love, but no. What do they do?
KEEP FUSSIN' AND FIGHTIN'.
Accuse each other not being a good partner.
Blame each other for ruining the relationship.
Or, one accuses the other of cheating (which might be true).
Or, they fuss about lack of communication or lack of support.
Or, being unreliable.
Hell, they'll fuss about anything.
Have you ever noticed that some people will still want to argue and fight even after you've agreed with them or apologized or resolved the issue?
If they're not still arguing with you about it, they're running around telling other people about the situation instead of moving on with their life.
Sometimes there are two people in a relationship like that.
Their goal never seems to be to resolve their issues. Most of the time they just want to argue, complain, and blame each other for the relationship being so screwed-up. They'll get their friends and family involved. Haters will come out of the woodwork...
And, the crazy thing about it is: They'll break-up or separate, get back together, then, break-up again, and sometimes - get back together.
There are a lot of people out there who go through this B.S. every two or three weeks!
A "Love-Hate Relationship" is what most people call it.
These two love-birds can't stand to be with each other, but they can't seem to let each other go.
Sometimes (maybe often), it's sex that keeps them together.
Sometimes, one of them is attracted to the other one's beauty or sex-appeal and don't want to let go.
Sometimes, one of them isn't attracted to the other at all but goes back because he or she doesn't want the poor sap to feel bad. I hate to say it but it's true. I know there have been times when you've wanted to break someone's heart but didn't do it or avoided it because you didn't want him or her to feel bad.
Sometimes, kids are involved and the couple wants to make it work so the kids will have both parents in the home...
Who knows why they stay together.
Each couple has their own reason for trying to make things work when the relationship sucks.
You have people that will stay in a toxic relationship for years and years. And, it doesn't do EITHER PARTNER any good. They should split-up and fix their internal issues. THEN, when they're ready, find someone else or SOMETHING else that will enhance and inspire their lives.
They shouldn't jump right back into another relationship. Most of the time a break from romance is a good thing because it gives you a chance to get yourself together and "sort things out". Then, after you've healed, move on to someone new. Or, reunite if that's what you wanna do.
But, what causes these "toxic relationships"?
I've got a few "ideas" but let me say this first:
We're not talking about occasional arguments or disagreements. We're talking about arguments and bickering that is constant.
Some people even say that occasional arguments are good for a relationship because they allow partners to express themselves, get over past grievances or unspoken of issues, and to release tension and stress brought on by each other.
I believe it's true because some people seem to enjoy fussin, or banter, or sarcasm, every now and then.
But, a toxic relationship never starts out with both partners verbally jousting and throwing things at each other.
In the beginning, like most good relationships, it's all Love, Promises, and Sweet-Talk, and Huggin', and Kissin'. The two want to see each other all the time.
Then, after a few days, or a few months, or a few years, all the swooning and sweet-talk comes to an end. And, the couple who were once in love are like enemies.
There could be all kinds of B.S. going on, but USUALLY, it starts when ONE PARTNER gets pissed at the other one for:
Lack of Interest and Not making the effort
- being selfish and self-centered - doing his or her own thing
- NOT TRYING to improve the relationship, home-life, or his or her life
- not helping out around the house or with the kids or with repairs or with the bills
- being lazy as hell - that's more of a personality or incompatibility issue but it definitely affects the relationship long term.
Lack of Communication
- not discussing major purchases
- neglecting to discuss major changes in one's life (moving, health, etc)
- not wanting to talk or interact
- neglecting to share personal plans that affect both partners
But, Communication isn't just limited to conversation. You communicate with your actions as well - showing how you feel about the relationship and your partner through your actions. Being affectionate and flirtatious, considerate, thoughtful, helpful, supportive, etc.
When one partner rarely has a conversation with his or her partner or barely speaks when they DO talk to each other, this can lead to a dull, boring atmosphere filled with contempt and disgust and the search for something or some-ONE more exciting.
Backstabbing
Another great way a partner can ruin a good relationship or send it into the "toxic zone" is by talking about his or her partner behind his or her back. Or, by confiding in others - including strangers - about what's going on in the relationship. Friends don't like it when you tell other people their business, so why would your partner like it?
Women will chop your head off for doing this.
Usually, when this happens, the relationship is ON ITS WAY DOWNHILL anyway because the backstabber is getting sick and tired of the relationship and is close to giving up.
Misunderstandings, Poor Communication, and Making Assumptions
Usually, it's not ONE THING that will cause major drama, but sometimes there is. And, it could be anything.
The reason why this one issue is able to turn a relationship toxic is because a lot of hurtful and offensive things may be said that are unnecessary. And, one partner may never get over argument. He or she might despise the partner for the rest of their lives.
Trying to Control the relationship and Not Respecting one's partner
- not listening and ignoring his or her partner's ideas, opinions, views, or feelings
- trying to control the partner by guilt-tripping, putting excessive or irrational limitations on his or her lifestyle
- always complaining and ranting and putting his or her partner down
- using sexual limitations to toy with one's partner or play emotional games. Depriving him or her of their need for love, affection, and sensuous and physical contact
Complacency and Not Being Attentive to one's partner or the relationship
When a person gets complacent and allows the relationship to coast along, a neglected partner is the least of their worries. Not only do some people feel neglected - some of them get jealous!
The neglected ones might feel empty and unappreciated or unloved, but the jealous one's will feel the same way PLUS they'll imagine you're up to all kinds of mischief. They'll do things to spite you. They might even cheat in order to get revenge.
- not doing anything new or exploring new things
- not socializing with your partner - wanting to stay at home all the time (if your partner loves to go out) or vice versa
I'm not gonna say one partner is right and the other one is wrong, because either one could have a "good" reason for their actions or complaints.
But, if they can't work things out and settle the matter, it's still going to be a no-win situation.
So, can you see how any of these things can lead to a sorry pitiful piss-ass relationship?
A lot of people out here get a "rush" out of arguing and releasing anger. It makes them feel good.
These people have psychological and biological issues. They're f*ckin' nuts. Seriously. They don't know of any productive ways to release that anger so they take it out on their partners or family.
Some of those mean-spirited jackasses will come right out of "left field" with any kind of old stupid-ass sh*t to start an argument.
One day, I was minding my own business and getting ready for work and my girlfriend (my Ex) just kept staring at me. I don't know what the hell she wanted but I KNEW she wanted to start some sh*t.
All of a sudden, her stupid ass said, "Looks like your head is getting bigger."
wtf???
I started to say: "Bitch, you're fat and it looks like your stomach is getting bigger!"
She had put on a few pounds and I knew she was self-conscious about her weight, so I almost "went-off" and blasted on her ass.
But, I don't call women "B"s. Even though I use that word on this site a lot, it's for effect or to clarify a point.
Anyway...
I could care less what she thought.
But, why try to upset me before I go to work??? Why do that to anybody?
At work, you already have to deal with a lot of other foolishness and B.S. from supervisors, co-workers, and in some cases, customers, so why would you do something like that?
I even think she was disappointed that I didn't respond, because right after that, she asked me if I needed something or wanted her to do something. I don't even know what she said. I said "no" and kept it moving.
Sometimes, that's what you've gotta do to keep the peace and avoid that drama.
Keep your mind on other (more productive) things.
To hell with people like that.
Some ovem are just lazy as hell. They don't get out, mix or mingle, or exercise, so the easiest way to release all of that bottled-up energy is to argue, fuss, and complain about anything.
Well, that's all I have to say about it.
Once you see how a good relationship can go bad and turn into a toxic relationship, you will possess a deeper understanding about what makes men and women cheat and/or leave, and your supernatural instincts about love and romance will shoot through the roof.
If you don't believe me, think back on what you've seen, heard, and experienced about bad relationships... Eventually, it will all be revealed to you.
If you can't see it, you're not in tune with your "third eye".
See the Details. Get a second or third opinion. Keep your ear to the ground and listen close at some of these complaints you hear on the job, in school, or when you're out and about. Some of this drama is on TV too.
Search the Net. Some of these relationship complaints by REAL PEOPLE are on here as well.
Even celebrities go through this stuff...
What do think those "Irreconcilable Differences" listed on all of those DIVORCE papers are all about?
When one of your friends is in a relationship and dealing with drama like this, AND wants to know your opinion, consider these factors to help him or her out. Find out what's REALLY going on and what led to him, her, or their partner cheating or leaving the relationship.
Use your "third eye" to see past the whining, complaining, and sob story.
When your good instincts kick-in and you can see what's actually causing this drama, then you'll know what good advice to give or if you should give any at all. Some people want their relationship to improve. Some people just want to vent and move on.
- loveqna
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
VIDEO - Cruel Love: Tall Girls Prefer Short Guys
Video provided by - sergiv1336
- loveqna
--------------------------------------------------
Short Men and Tall Women Relationships (2 video clips included)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Toxic Relationships, Toxic Relationships, I'm Going Mad
Well, as you can see, I made it back to the crib safe and sound. (?)
I ended going to K-Mart for some new tubes. It was too hot there to be riding an extra hour just to go to Wal-Mart for the same thing. Wal-Mart may have been cheaper but the hell with it. It's not like I'm broke.
Damn... I didn't mean it to sound like that, but I DO feel good saying it.
Life is sweet when you have a little extra change in your pocket, ain't it?
More options, more choices, and less stress. I love it.
I even stopped by the thrift store and picked up a couple of good books: "Oddball Ointments, Powerful Potions, & Fabulous Folk Remedies, That'll Cure Almost Anything That Ails Ya!"
I think it's a good book. I only skimmed through it so I'll have to read it later to be sure. With a long-ass title like that, it had better be good.
The other book I got was "Jesus Freaks". I mainly got this book to help with my writing. I picked it up and was swept away by the writing style so, I'll probably read that one a lot. Even the first book has a good writing style, so I'm sure I'll learn something.
Oh, and I snagged a "National Enquirer" tabloid magazine. The title "PLASTIC SURGERY SHOCKERS!", jumped out at me.
I've been planning on writing a post about "Changing Who You Are For Someone Else" or "Should You Change For Someone Else" or something like that, and I that's why I was interested in this paper. I'll probably post on that topic later this week, because there is something that I really want to discuss about "should a man or woman change to please his or her partner".
A lot of people don't think so. Some people do. And some people just change "naturally". I don't know. I'll have to meditate on that one before I go to my notes.
Anyway...
While I was making my trek cross-country down to my local K-Mart, I thought about something else: Toxic Relationships.
The things that create Toxic Relationships also lead to cheating - indirectly.
The reason why I say that is because: If you have a good relationship - one that is not full of drama - then 99% of the time, you won't have to worry about infidelity (or cheating).
But, if your relationship is full of hate, spite, and drama, somebody is either going to cheat, leave, or get a divorce and take everything in the house.
The only way I see out of a toxic relationship is to avoid one in the first place, but then again... relationships become "toxic" over a period of time. They're always sweet in the beginning.
I may have written down some possible solutions but I'll have to look at my manuscript.
The other reason why I think we need to discuss this is because it will also help improve your Instincts and Intuition about relationships. As a matter of fact, it may enhance what you already know about choosing a mate and resolving relationship conflicts. I don't know.
We'll see...
Anyway, I have an hour and half before I have to go to work tonight. I think the heat has made me delirious.
I'm gonna get some sleep.
Take care, Y'all.
- loveqna
I ended going to K-Mart for some new tubes. It was too hot there to be riding an extra hour just to go to Wal-Mart for the same thing. Wal-Mart may have been cheaper but the hell with it. It's not like I'm broke.
Damn... I didn't mean it to sound like that, but I DO feel good saying it.
Life is sweet when you have a little extra change in your pocket, ain't it?
More options, more choices, and less stress. I love it.
I even stopped by the thrift store and picked up a couple of good books: "Oddball Ointments, Powerful Potions, & Fabulous Folk Remedies, That'll Cure Almost Anything That Ails Ya!"
I think it's a good book. I only skimmed through it so I'll have to read it later to be sure. With a long-ass title like that, it had better be good.
The other book I got was "Jesus Freaks". I mainly got this book to help with my writing. I picked it up and was swept away by the writing style so, I'll probably read that one a lot. Even the first book has a good writing style, so I'm sure I'll learn something.
Oh, and I snagged a "National Enquirer" tabloid magazine. The title "PLASTIC SURGERY SHOCKERS!", jumped out at me.
I've been planning on writing a post about "Changing Who You Are For Someone Else" or "Should You Change For Someone Else" or something like that, and I that's why I was interested in this paper. I'll probably post on that topic later this week, because there is something that I really want to discuss about "should a man or woman change to please his or her partner".
A lot of people don't think so. Some people do. And some people just change "naturally". I don't know. I'll have to meditate on that one before I go to my notes.
Anyway...
While I was making my trek cross-country down to my local K-Mart, I thought about something else: Toxic Relationships.
The things that create Toxic Relationships also lead to cheating - indirectly.
The reason why I say that is because: If you have a good relationship - one that is not full of drama - then 99% of the time, you won't have to worry about infidelity (or cheating).
But, if your relationship is full of hate, spite, and drama, somebody is either going to cheat, leave, or get a divorce and take everything in the house.
The only way I see out of a toxic relationship is to avoid one in the first place, but then again... relationships become "toxic" over a period of time. They're always sweet in the beginning.
I may have written down some possible solutions but I'll have to look at my manuscript.
The other reason why I think we need to discuss this is because it will also help improve your Instincts and Intuition about relationships. As a matter of fact, it may enhance what you already know about choosing a mate and resolving relationship conflicts. I don't know.
We'll see...
Anyway, I have an hour and half before I have to go to work tonight. I think the heat has made me delirious.
I'm gonna get some sleep.
Take care, Y'all.
- loveqna
5 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat For Sex
My days off went by in a flash.
I swear I could use a vacation but I'm afraid the one week of vacation time I have would zoom right by without me really being able to enjoy it.
In this post, I'm only including five reasons why men and women cheat for sex, because my bike has two flat tires (more bad luck) and I have to walk and purchase yet ANOTHER bike or ride to Wal-Mart or K-Mart and buy a couple of inner tubes.
My "old" bike (which is 6 months old) has never had a flat tire. In fact, I'm using the tubes from it right now. I may have to use the tires and take those cheap-ass tires off of my new bike. I don't know. I'll figure something out.
Anyway... enough about my transportation troubles, let's talk about Sex.
The most popular belief about cheating is: "All men and women cheat for sex."
Let me tell you something...
No matter WHY a man or woman cheats, 90% of time, they're gonna have sex.
Sex is almost inevitable. Nine times out of ten it's gonna happen.
The reason why people have sex when they cheat is to express the interest, desire, admiration, and feelings they have for the person they're cheating with.
And, according to many people, sex is the second or third most important thing in a relationship behind Love and Communication, so why wouldn't it happen? If the opportunity presents itself, and the timing is right, it's GONNA happen. Period.
So, whoever thinks all men and women cheat for sex and sex only, is just damn dumb.
Okay, let's not get all worked-up about it...
But, I want you to think hard about what you're about to read. Then observe with your own two eyes.
The truth will be told.
(I'm gonna put the men on blast in this post, BUT! This also applies to Women. These are more old notes from the Manuscript.)
When a man cheats for sex, it’s not always because he’s looking for “regular” sex from a woman – or, whoever. His woman may be giving him plenty of sex and attention at home, but he may be looking for something a little different – a CERTAIN KIND of sex.
Such as:
- He or she may be on the “down-low” (homosexual; lesbian; gay) and living a "double life" - an alternative lifestyle.
Last night, I was curious and surf the Net looking for confirmations of this and googled "wife is a lesbian".
We know there have been a lot of men exposed for cheating with other men or TRYING to cheat with other men, but many of the confessions and articles posted under "wife is a lesbian" helps to illustrate a truth about the desires and lifestyles of some women.
A lot of people are coming out of the closet and out here on the down-low. I'm not for it or against it. I'm just presenting the facts. Some people cheat because they're bi-sexual or fell in love with someone of the same sex, or they're stuck in a straight relationship but really prefer same-sex relationships.
- He (or she) likes wild uninhibited sex – and sex with his partner is too conservative or "traditional". She won't even give him "head".
This is probably one of the biggest complaints men have about bedroom aerobics - making love to a "stiff". What's the point in making love if you're just gonna lay there like a cold piece of meat? Or, what's the point in making love if you're going to hump on a broad (or whoever) for 30 seconds and "bust a nut"? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. (I'm not trying to be perverted. I'm just keepin' it real.)
I'm just sayin'... That's pitiful.
I've "lost control" a few of times, but luckily, I was in relationship so I was able to redeem myself. But, I was still ashamed of my "performance".
You should want to please your mate and keep him or her coming back for more. You should want to blow his or her mind and have him or her thinking about you all day. And vice versa.
You don't want some lame-ass scrub in the bed. You want someone who's gonna rock your world. And, if what you have at home ain't doing it, you might get bored and look for someone else. Well, You might not do it, but a lot of men and women have.
- He’s bored with having sex with the same woman, the same way, all the time; he wants to try someTHING (or someONE) new.
This is SIMILAR to the previous reason but not exactly.
If you've been intimate with your partner for a while or if you've been in a past relationship where you were intimate often, then more than likely you could predict everything your partner was going to do, before he or she did it because almost everyone has a "pattern".
You knew he going to kiss your neck first. Then he was going to play with your boobs. Then you knew he was going to put his hand on your thigh. Then you knew he was going to kiss your lips. Etc. Etc. Etc.
But, that's the way it went down ALL THE TIME. He had a pattern. She had a pattern!
And, in the bed, there was a pattern.
It's the same way all the time.
Plus, it's the same old lips. The same old boobs. The same old underwear. The same old piece of ass.
Some people get bored with that. It's not that their lover, or husband, or wife, or girlfriend, or boyfriend, is boring, it's just that the "experience" is boring.
The cheater is tired of looking at and experiencing the "same old things". So, if the opportunity presents itself - and cheater likes what he (or she) sees - a conversation or a flirtatious moment can turn into a one-night stand or an affair.
- He believes it's natural for a man to have more than one woman. This is NOT the same as the man who dates more than one woman because he likes "variety". This type of cheater believes all men should have a main squeeze (a primary woman) - someone they can trust and depend on and who has the same long-term goals, PLUS, have a chick on the side for fun and "recreation".
This girl may be dumb as a brick. She may be Hot. She may be a hoochie-mama. She may be a player.
Most men don't care. Some do. But, all he wants her for is "escape" from his stress or reality. Some men will run to this woman when they're having issues or arguments in their primary relationship. And, she may know the man is married, but she either likes the arrangement or will wait to see if he will leave his wife or girlfriend for her.
She's the same type of chick wealthy married men will buy an apartment or a condo for. You've probably seen this scenario in a few movies. Not all of these men can afford to buy their lovers cars and condos but some of them can and do. It's real.
Oh, and this doesn't only happen with men. There are plenty of Sugar-Mamas out here running amuck too. Hell, I need me one.
Last one. I'll just post the rest of the list next time. I know I'm long-winded.
Let's do an easy one to get this out of the way and I'll list more "reasons why men and women cheat for sex" later.
- He or she is not getting enough sex at Home or from his or her Main Squeeze.
Most women could probably hold out longer than men without sex, but in either case, once the man or woman hits their limit and wants affection and "personal attention", nothing is gonna stop him or her from going out and getting it except laziness, lack of confidence, or downright dumbassness.
There ain't that much devotion in the world.
I'll be honest with you: If I'm in a relationship and my lover deprives me of sex, I'm not gonna keep begging and trying. I'm not gonna masturbate my life away either. I'm going out to find a new chick, a new "chickenhead", or rent a trick, or something.
I'm not gonna put up with being deprived of some good loving. That's sexual abuse. And, That ain't right!
There are many women out there who won't even put up with that crap.
But, let's calm down and stop right there.
I know there's a long way to go but we'll get there.
Keep in mind the SOLUTIONS to these problems of cheating. How can they be solved? In some cases, you'd have to get rid of the cheater BEFORE he or she cheats or have an open relationship and discuss these things BEFORE someone gets hurt.
In some cases, there may not BE a solution, but we'll discuss that later on this week too.
Well, I'm off to get my "ride" fixed.
If I'm back in time, I'll publish another post.
Until then, take care.
- loveqna
(List used From the Manuscript "95 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat, Play Games, And Leave Relationships")
I swear I could use a vacation but I'm afraid the one week of vacation time I have would zoom right by without me really being able to enjoy it.
In this post, I'm only including five reasons why men and women cheat for sex, because my bike has two flat tires (more bad luck) and I have to walk and purchase yet ANOTHER bike or ride to Wal-Mart or K-Mart and buy a couple of inner tubes.
My "old" bike (which is 6 months old) has never had a flat tire. In fact, I'm using the tubes from it right now. I may have to use the tires and take those cheap-ass tires off of my new bike. I don't know. I'll figure something out.
Anyway... enough about my transportation troubles, let's talk about Sex.
The most popular belief about cheating is: "All men and women cheat for sex."
Let me tell you something...
No matter WHY a man or woman cheats, 90% of time, they're gonna have sex.
Sex is almost inevitable. Nine times out of ten it's gonna happen.
The reason why people have sex when they cheat is to express the interest, desire, admiration, and feelings they have for the person they're cheating with.
And, according to many people, sex is the second or third most important thing in a relationship behind Love and Communication, so why wouldn't it happen? If the opportunity presents itself, and the timing is right, it's GONNA happen. Period.
So, whoever thinks all men and women cheat for sex and sex only, is just damn dumb.
Okay, let's not get all worked-up about it...
But, I want you to think hard about what you're about to read. Then observe with your own two eyes.
The truth will be told.
(I'm gonna put the men on blast in this post, BUT! This also applies to Women. These are more old notes from the Manuscript.)
When a man cheats for sex, it’s not always because he’s looking for “regular” sex from a woman – or, whoever. His woman may be giving him plenty of sex and attention at home, but he may be looking for something a little different – a CERTAIN KIND of sex.
Such as:
- He or she may be on the “down-low” (homosexual; lesbian; gay) and living a "double life" - an alternative lifestyle.
Last night, I was curious and surf the Net looking for confirmations of this and googled "wife is a lesbian".
We know there have been a lot of men exposed for cheating with other men or TRYING to cheat with other men, but many of the confessions and articles posted under "wife is a lesbian" helps to illustrate a truth about the desires and lifestyles of some women.
A lot of people are coming out of the closet and out here on the down-low. I'm not for it or against it. I'm just presenting the facts. Some people cheat because they're bi-sexual or fell in love with someone of the same sex, or they're stuck in a straight relationship but really prefer same-sex relationships.
- He (or she) likes wild uninhibited sex – and sex with his partner is too conservative or "traditional". She won't even give him "head".
This is probably one of the biggest complaints men have about bedroom aerobics - making love to a "stiff". What's the point in making love if you're just gonna lay there like a cold piece of meat? Or, what's the point in making love if you're going to hump on a broad (or whoever) for 30 seconds and "bust a nut"? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. (I'm not trying to be perverted. I'm just keepin' it real.)
I'm just sayin'... That's pitiful.
I've "lost control" a few of times, but luckily, I was in relationship so I was able to redeem myself. But, I was still ashamed of my "performance".
You should want to please your mate and keep him or her coming back for more. You should want to blow his or her mind and have him or her thinking about you all day. And vice versa.
You don't want some lame-ass scrub in the bed. You want someone who's gonna rock your world. And, if what you have at home ain't doing it, you might get bored and look for someone else. Well, You might not do it, but a lot of men and women have.
- He’s bored with having sex with the same woman, the same way, all the time; he wants to try someTHING (or someONE) new.
This is SIMILAR to the previous reason but not exactly.
If you've been intimate with your partner for a while or if you've been in a past relationship where you were intimate often, then more than likely you could predict everything your partner was going to do, before he or she did it because almost everyone has a "pattern".
You knew he going to kiss your neck first. Then he was going to play with your boobs. Then you knew he was going to put his hand on your thigh. Then you knew he was going to kiss your lips. Etc. Etc. Etc.
But, that's the way it went down ALL THE TIME. He had a pattern. She had a pattern!
And, in the bed, there was a pattern.
It's the same way all the time.
Plus, it's the same old lips. The same old boobs. The same old underwear. The same old piece of ass.
Some people get bored with that. It's not that their lover, or husband, or wife, or girlfriend, or boyfriend, is boring, it's just that the "experience" is boring.
The cheater is tired of looking at and experiencing the "same old things". So, if the opportunity presents itself - and cheater likes what he (or she) sees - a conversation or a flirtatious moment can turn into a one-night stand or an affair.
- He believes it's natural for a man to have more than one woman. This is NOT the same as the man who dates more than one woman because he likes "variety". This type of cheater believes all men should have a main squeeze (a primary woman) - someone they can trust and depend on and who has the same long-term goals, PLUS, have a chick on the side for fun and "recreation".
This girl may be dumb as a brick. She may be Hot. She may be a hoochie-mama. She may be a player.
Most men don't care. Some do. But, all he wants her for is "escape" from his stress or reality. Some men will run to this woman when they're having issues or arguments in their primary relationship. And, she may know the man is married, but she either likes the arrangement or will wait to see if he will leave his wife or girlfriend for her.
She's the same type of chick wealthy married men will buy an apartment or a condo for. You've probably seen this scenario in a few movies. Not all of these men can afford to buy their lovers cars and condos but some of them can and do. It's real.
Oh, and this doesn't only happen with men. There are plenty of Sugar-Mamas out here running amuck too. Hell, I need me one.
Last one. I'll just post the rest of the list next time. I know I'm long-winded.
Let's do an easy one to get this out of the way and I'll list more "reasons why men and women cheat for sex" later.
- He or she is not getting enough sex at Home or from his or her Main Squeeze.
Most women could probably hold out longer than men without sex, but in either case, once the man or woman hits their limit and wants affection and "personal attention", nothing is gonna stop him or her from going out and getting it except laziness, lack of confidence, or downright dumbassness.
There ain't that much devotion in the world.
I'll be honest with you: If I'm in a relationship and my lover deprives me of sex, I'm not gonna keep begging and trying. I'm not gonna masturbate my life away either. I'm going out to find a new chick, a new "chickenhead", or rent a trick, or something.
I'm not gonna put up with being deprived of some good loving. That's sexual abuse. And, That ain't right!
There are many women out there who won't even put up with that crap.
But, let's calm down and stop right there.
I know there's a long way to go but we'll get there.
Keep in mind the SOLUTIONS to these problems of cheating. How can they be solved? In some cases, you'd have to get rid of the cheater BEFORE he or she cheats or have an open relationship and discuss these things BEFORE someone gets hurt.
In some cases, there may not BE a solution, but we'll discuss that later on this week too.
Well, I'm off to get my "ride" fixed.
If I'm back in time, I'll publish another post.
Until then, take care.
- loveqna
(List used From the Manuscript "95 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat, Play Games, And Leave Relationships")
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Why Men And Women Cheat - Who Cares
Let me make something clear to all of the "players", pick-up artists, and "wannabee pimps" out there:
The posts on "why men and women cheat" are not being posted to expose anybody. If you get caught in the crosshairs, tuff titty. But, if your game is tight, you don't need to worry about these posts because you'll still come out smelling like a bouquet roses regardless.
My big fat-ass cousin thinks I'm trying to put his ass on blast because I'm jealous of him and his love-life... B*tch, please. I could care less about that fat hairy bastard's love-life and the handful of hoodrat chicks he's been messing around with for the last 7 or 8 years. Please. He ain't showing me nothin' new!
And, I've definitely never been attracted to any girl he's been with... except maybe one. But, she was Hot... I'd give that chick a 25 on a scale of 1 to 10. But, that bum couldn't hang on to that dime-piece for longer than a couple of months. He was scared of the chick. She was too gangsta for him. lol.
This girl looked like she just stepped off the cover of a magazine. Her body was perfect. Her face was beautiful. She was immaculate in every way imaginable... yet her eyes and personality made you think she was dangerous as hell.
And, she DID have a reputation.
She was as "hood" and as sheisty as can be. Criminal. And the crowd she was associated with were a bunch of local-jokers who liked to chill all the time, smoke weed, gamble, and "do dirt" (illegal sh*t). The majority of them were a bunch of damn losers who lived on the delusion that they were hustlers and go-getters.
He probably was afraid to go sleep around that broad. He probably thought that one day she might set him up for the "okey-doke". lol. That's probably what happened. He couldn't go to sleep around that chick because he was scared that she'd set him up to get robbed. And that fat rascal hated it when his nap time was interrupted.
The bad thing about it is, she was a nice girl. Friendly. Down-to-earth. Thoughtful. She was okay in my book. He was just afraid to die. lol.
And then, there's my Ex:
"Nobody wants to read that crap! Nobody cares why darn men cheat!"
B*tch, you ought to care because you've been cheated on in almost every relationship you've had.
At least that's what she told me.
But, you can see why any man would want to "escape" her big-ass damn mouth and grumpy-ass attitude. She raises more hell than damn Godzilla.
Anyway...
I don't care about exposing anybody.
And, contrary to what my Ex believes, I KNOW there are some folks out there who can improve their relationships and love-lives with this information.
All you have to do is learn it for yourselves, improve your intincts, and use your good judgement and suggestions to help those who could use your help.
There are people out there - maybe even one or two of your friends - who want to get to know someone new but they're afraid to get involved because they're afraid of being cheated on. You could use your experiences, your knowledge, and this information and help him or her get past those fears and make better decisions about choosing a mate.
There may be people who are already in a relationship but paranoid about being cheated on or losing the love of their life. You could explain to them why men and women cheat and/or break-up, and advise them of what they may want to do to avoid being cheated on or dumped.
Their mate might not even be thinking about cheating. You could open their eyes to that possibility as well. And, if you know the best way to get someone to open-up, that'll be a big help too.
Who else could we help with this info?
How about those men and women who keep getting cheated on and don't know why?
You could point out the reasons why cheaters cheat and help them narrow the problem down to a possible solution. They might need to evaluate their lifestyle, personality, choices, or appearance, and make some changes.
Maybe they keep choosing bad boys or bad girls.
Maybe they're not confident enough.
Maybe they really don't put a lot of time into a relationship because they're always on the go.
Maybe they're too antagonistic or bossy or self-centered.
Maybe they have poor hygiene.
There may be a combination of reasons why they keep getting cheated on. But, you'll be able to see most of these things and help them improve their love-life after you discover more reasons why men and women cheat.
And as I've stated a million times before, once you know many of the reasons why men and women cheat, YOU'LL be able to improve YOUR Instincts on the subject.
AND... You'll be able to recognize the games and tricks these wannabee pimps, gimps, players, and "tricks", will try to play on you for money, sex, convenience, or entertainment.
Everyone is NOT going to take heed to your advice, but you never know who will. So, it's best to be ready with some GOOD advice if you're going to give any advice at all.
Like I've said before, don't just go by what I post. I HAVE experience but I'm no expert. Get a second and third and fourth opinion AND observe all things well before you make any suggestions to your friends or anybody. Learn from other sources.
Hopefully, we can open people's eyes and wipe out a lot of this B.S. and Drama before it's too late.
I'm sick of it.
- loveqna
The posts on "why men and women cheat" are not being posted to expose anybody. If you get caught in the crosshairs, tuff titty. But, if your game is tight, you don't need to worry about these posts because you'll still come out smelling like a bouquet roses regardless.
My big fat-ass cousin thinks I'm trying to put his ass on blast because I'm jealous of him and his love-life... B*tch, please. I could care less about that fat hairy bastard's love-life and the handful of hoodrat chicks he's been messing around with for the last 7 or 8 years. Please. He ain't showing me nothin' new!
And, I've definitely never been attracted to any girl he's been with... except maybe one. But, she was Hot... I'd give that chick a 25 on a scale of 1 to 10. But, that bum couldn't hang on to that dime-piece for longer than a couple of months. He was scared of the chick. She was too gangsta for him. lol.
This girl looked like she just stepped off the cover of a magazine. Her body was perfect. Her face was beautiful. She was immaculate in every way imaginable... yet her eyes and personality made you think she was dangerous as hell.
And, she DID have a reputation.
She was as "hood" and as sheisty as can be. Criminal. And the crowd she was associated with were a bunch of local-jokers who liked to chill all the time, smoke weed, gamble, and "do dirt" (illegal sh*t). The majority of them were a bunch of damn losers who lived on the delusion that they were hustlers and go-getters.
He probably was afraid to go sleep around that broad. He probably thought that one day she might set him up for the "okey-doke". lol. That's probably what happened. He couldn't go to sleep around that chick because he was scared that she'd set him up to get robbed. And that fat rascal hated it when his nap time was interrupted.
The bad thing about it is, she was a nice girl. Friendly. Down-to-earth. Thoughtful. She was okay in my book. He was just afraid to die. lol.
And then, there's my Ex:
"Nobody wants to read that crap! Nobody cares why darn men cheat!"
B*tch, you ought to care because you've been cheated on in almost every relationship you've had.
At least that's what she told me.
But, you can see why any man would want to "escape" her big-ass damn mouth and grumpy-ass attitude. She raises more hell than damn Godzilla.
Anyway...
I don't care about exposing anybody.
And, contrary to what my Ex believes, I KNOW there are some folks out there who can improve their relationships and love-lives with this information.
All you have to do is learn it for yourselves, improve your intincts, and use your good judgement and suggestions to help those who could use your help.
There are people out there - maybe even one or two of your friends - who want to get to know someone new but they're afraid to get involved because they're afraid of being cheated on. You could use your experiences, your knowledge, and this information and help him or her get past those fears and make better decisions about choosing a mate.
There may be people who are already in a relationship but paranoid about being cheated on or losing the love of their life. You could explain to them why men and women cheat and/or break-up, and advise them of what they may want to do to avoid being cheated on or dumped.
Their mate might not even be thinking about cheating. You could open their eyes to that possibility as well. And, if you know the best way to get someone to open-up, that'll be a big help too.
Who else could we help with this info?
How about those men and women who keep getting cheated on and don't know why?
You could point out the reasons why cheaters cheat and help them narrow the problem down to a possible solution. They might need to evaluate their lifestyle, personality, choices, or appearance, and make some changes.
Maybe they keep choosing bad boys or bad girls.
Maybe they're not confident enough.
Maybe they really don't put a lot of time into a relationship because they're always on the go.
Maybe they're too antagonistic or bossy or self-centered.
Maybe they have poor hygiene.
There may be a combination of reasons why they keep getting cheated on. But, you'll be able to see most of these things and help them improve their love-life after you discover more reasons why men and women cheat.
And as I've stated a million times before, once you know many of the reasons why men and women cheat, YOU'LL be able to improve YOUR Instincts on the subject.
AND... You'll be able to recognize the games and tricks these wannabee pimps, gimps, players, and "tricks", will try to play on you for money, sex, convenience, or entertainment.
Everyone is NOT going to take heed to your advice, but you never know who will. So, it's best to be ready with some GOOD advice if you're going to give any advice at all.
Like I've said before, don't just go by what I post. I HAVE experience but I'm no expert. Get a second and third and fourth opinion AND observe all things well before you make any suggestions to your friends or anybody. Learn from other sources.
Hopefully, we can open people's eyes and wipe out a lot of this B.S. and Drama before it's too late.
I'm sick of it.
- loveqna
Why Men And Women Cheat - It's Complicated
As you improve your Female Intuition or Male Instincts about relationships and cheating, remember, this is a very complicated issue.
A lot of people believe it's a simple issue because the 10 or 15 reasons most people hear or give for cheating seem like logical explanations. But, although we have all of this "logical" information, it still doesn't seem to help us avoid being cheated on, does it?
Man, these experts are full of sh*t.
I'm gonna post 50 reasons and I'm by no means an expert on this subject.
Never believe that you're a total expert on this subject. But, with these notes, you WILL know more than most. There are just too many factors and variables that come into play. And, some societies and communities do things different so... you'd have to learn their culture and how their relationships work to further enhance your knowledge of infidelity.
Now, let's dig in...
First, Cheating is a complicated issue because no answer is right 100% of the time. Remember: Each couple's situation is different. All cheaters don't cheat for the same reason or reasons.
Second, Cheating is complicated because many cheaters don't admit the truth. But, when they do, most victims don't want to hear the truth. And, there are two sides to every story. Furthermore, sometimes "experts" put words in the cheaters' mouths. So, some of those cheaters will say anything to get those experts to shut-up and leave the issue alone.
Third, most of us are blinded by what people SHOULD or SHOULDN'T do instead of looking at the Reality of the situation - even when we believe the "reality" is wrong. Ain't no need in arguing that people shouldn't cheat or that cheating is stupid. It's a waste of time. There will always be cheaters. Let's find out WHY people are cheating and help REDUCE the chances of it happening to the people we know.
Fourth, many people put too much trust into surveys and theories. Don't be fooled by theories, statistics, surveys, and one or two events as most peopole are. Use them but use good judgement too.
Use your experiences, observations, and good sense. Be MORE aware of what you actually observe, learn, and experience from patterns of deceit, situations, and habits.
So, you have to get all of the facts and information before you jump to any conclusions or make any hasty suggestions to your friends who have been cheated on.
I know I'm over-explaining this but let me give you a few real life scenarios that show how cheating is complicated. And, on the next post, I'll dive right into the sexual reasons why men (mainly men) and women cheat.
Okay...
For instance, let's say you have three friends suffering from infidelity.
Now, we know every cheater doesn't cheat for sex, but let's just say these cheaters are sexually involved with someone else on the side.
Here are THREE REASONS alone why people would cheat for sex.
Cheater #1 may be turned-off by his or her partner's style, weight, lack of attractiveness, personality, etc.
Your friend may be a great person doing all the things a good man or woman would do, but still, he or she gets no love or appreciation in return for all of the hard work, devotion, and dedication that he or she puts into the relationship.
And guess what? He or she will NEVER get the appreciation he or she deserves until the cheater "sees the light" and recognize what a good thing he or she has.
OR....
your friend must lose weight, improve his or her appearance, looks, or style, or develop a "new attitude" to enhance his or her personality.
We can say that people shouldn't change, but the reality is: if they want to keep this relationship, one of them (or BOTH) will have to make changes or it will go on like it is - full of lies and heartache.
Cheater #2...
Now, I don't want to say anything against any of your friends, but let's say you have a friend that's always on the go. Active, out and about. He or she loves chillin' with you and some of your other friends. And, you all spend a lot of time together. And, he or she is always busy with social events or school or work or whatever...
But, your friend hardly has any time with his or her partner - or their family if they have one. And, when they ARE together, your friend is still busy or always on the phone.
Sure, your friend buys gifts and celebrates birthdays and holidays with the cheater and calls and texts but, the cheater feels he or she is never around enough - physically or mentally - so, the cheater feels neglected and lonely.
You see your friend as a swell guy or girl because you really don't know how much time they're spending together or how they interact when they do spend time together. But, in reality, your friend could be neglecting his or her relationship.
Now... Some cheaters are just spoiled and want all the attention they can get so that's a possibility too. But! We still don't know what's really going on unless we know how the cheater feels about their situation or what his or her personality is really like.
So, that cheater could be having sex outside of the relationship because he or she is lonely or because he or she is flattered by the attention from someone new. Or, it could be both reasons.
Cheater #3.
We'll make this last one simple so that we can move on.
A lot of people (maybe most) consider Sex the second most important thing in a relationship with the MOST important thing being Love.
A lot of people believe you have to have sex on a regular basis to have a happy and loving relationship.
So, why would a man or woman cheat if he or she is getting plenty of "loving" at home?
Experts say that most cheaters cheat because they aren't getting enough sex... but what about the cheaters who are getting more than their fare share? What about those bums who are getting more than the rest of us? And, they're still cheating to get more. Why are they cheating for sex?
How do you explain that?
Your friend could be puttin' out plenty. And, giving his or her partner all the sex he or she can handle and the cheater STILL might cheat for sex.
And what makes it so complicated is that it's hard for the cheater to open-up and be honest about what the issue really is and why he or she would cheat for sex when he or she is getting sex regularly at home.
I don't wanna say too much about this now because these are part of our "50 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat" but more than likely it's boredom, or routine, or the cheater is a player or sex-addict. It may be an issue with the cheater or it may be that your friend is not that good in bed. I'm not hatin'. I'm juss sayin' - maybe there aren't fireworks poppin' when the lights pop off.
But, who knows?
You might have to call in Dr. Phil to squeeze the truth out of this mongrel. And, he or she STILL might not admit or tell everything.
You'll probably never hear the truth from ANY of these cheaters.
And, your friend may not give you the whole story. He or she may only mention the bad things that the cheater has done and never mention what he or she failed to bring to the table in the relationship. And, there you are again with a one-sided story. A complicated mess.
But, don't be too critical or over-analyze - especially if you're not getting paid for it.
Sometimes, it's better to just sit and listen to your pal rant, rave, and whine, about how he or she has been done wrong. Often, people don't want an opinion or advice. They just want someone to listen.
And sometimes, that's better than knowing why men and women cheat.
- loveqna
A lot of people believe it's a simple issue because the 10 or 15 reasons most people hear or give for cheating seem like logical explanations. But, although we have all of this "logical" information, it still doesn't seem to help us avoid being cheated on, does it?
Man, these experts are full of sh*t.
I'm gonna post 50 reasons and I'm by no means an expert on this subject.
Never believe that you're a total expert on this subject. But, with these notes, you WILL know more than most. There are just too many factors and variables that come into play. And, some societies and communities do things different so... you'd have to learn their culture and how their relationships work to further enhance your knowledge of infidelity.
Now, let's dig in...
First, Cheating is a complicated issue because no answer is right 100% of the time. Remember: Each couple's situation is different. All cheaters don't cheat for the same reason or reasons.
Second, Cheating is complicated because many cheaters don't admit the truth. But, when they do, most victims don't want to hear the truth. And, there are two sides to every story. Furthermore, sometimes "experts" put words in the cheaters' mouths. So, some of those cheaters will say anything to get those experts to shut-up and leave the issue alone.
Third, most of us are blinded by what people SHOULD or SHOULDN'T do instead of looking at the Reality of the situation - even when we believe the "reality" is wrong. Ain't no need in arguing that people shouldn't cheat or that cheating is stupid. It's a waste of time. There will always be cheaters. Let's find out WHY people are cheating and help REDUCE the chances of it happening to the people we know.
Fourth, many people put too much trust into surveys and theories. Don't be fooled by theories, statistics, surveys, and one or two events as most peopole are. Use them but use good judgement too.
Use your experiences, observations, and good sense. Be MORE aware of what you actually observe, learn, and experience from patterns of deceit, situations, and habits.
So, you have to get all of the facts and information before you jump to any conclusions or make any hasty suggestions to your friends who have been cheated on.
I know I'm over-explaining this but let me give you a few real life scenarios that show how cheating is complicated. And, on the next post, I'll dive right into the sexual reasons why men (mainly men) and women cheat.
Okay...
For instance, let's say you have three friends suffering from infidelity.
Now, we know every cheater doesn't cheat for sex, but let's just say these cheaters are sexually involved with someone else on the side.
Here are THREE REASONS alone why people would cheat for sex.
Cheater #1 may be turned-off by his or her partner's style, weight, lack of attractiveness, personality, etc.
Your friend may be a great person doing all the things a good man or woman would do, but still, he or she gets no love or appreciation in return for all of the hard work, devotion, and dedication that he or she puts into the relationship.
And guess what? He or she will NEVER get the appreciation he or she deserves until the cheater "sees the light" and recognize what a good thing he or she has.
OR....
your friend must lose weight, improve his or her appearance, looks, or style, or develop a "new attitude" to enhance his or her personality.
We can say that people shouldn't change, but the reality is: if they want to keep this relationship, one of them (or BOTH) will have to make changes or it will go on like it is - full of lies and heartache.
Cheater #2...
Now, I don't want to say anything against any of your friends, but let's say you have a friend that's always on the go. Active, out and about. He or she loves chillin' with you and some of your other friends. And, you all spend a lot of time together. And, he or she is always busy with social events or school or work or whatever...
But, your friend hardly has any time with his or her partner - or their family if they have one. And, when they ARE together, your friend is still busy or always on the phone.
Sure, your friend buys gifts and celebrates birthdays and holidays with the cheater and calls and texts but, the cheater feels he or she is never around enough - physically or mentally - so, the cheater feels neglected and lonely.
You see your friend as a swell guy or girl because you really don't know how much time they're spending together or how they interact when they do spend time together. But, in reality, your friend could be neglecting his or her relationship.
Now... Some cheaters are just spoiled and want all the attention they can get so that's a possibility too. But! We still don't know what's really going on unless we know how the cheater feels about their situation or what his or her personality is really like.
So, that cheater could be having sex outside of the relationship because he or she is lonely or because he or she is flattered by the attention from someone new. Or, it could be both reasons.
Cheater #3.
We'll make this last one simple so that we can move on.
A lot of people (maybe most) consider Sex the second most important thing in a relationship with the MOST important thing being Love.
A lot of people believe you have to have sex on a regular basis to have a happy and loving relationship.
So, why would a man or woman cheat if he or she is getting plenty of "loving" at home?
Experts say that most cheaters cheat because they aren't getting enough sex... but what about the cheaters who are getting more than their fare share? What about those bums who are getting more than the rest of us? And, they're still cheating to get more. Why are they cheating for sex?
How do you explain that?
Your friend could be puttin' out plenty. And, giving his or her partner all the sex he or she can handle and the cheater STILL might cheat for sex.
And what makes it so complicated is that it's hard for the cheater to open-up and be honest about what the issue really is and why he or she would cheat for sex when he or she is getting sex regularly at home.
I don't wanna say too much about this now because these are part of our "50 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat" but more than likely it's boredom, or routine, or the cheater is a player or sex-addict. It may be an issue with the cheater or it may be that your friend is not that good in bed. I'm not hatin'. I'm juss sayin' - maybe there aren't fireworks poppin' when the lights pop off.
But, who knows?
You might have to call in Dr. Phil to squeeze the truth out of this mongrel. And, he or she STILL might not admit or tell everything.
You'll probably never hear the truth from ANY of these cheaters.
And, your friend may not give you the whole story. He or she may only mention the bad things that the cheater has done and never mention what he or she failed to bring to the table in the relationship. And, there you are again with a one-sided story. A complicated mess.
But, don't be too critical or over-analyze - especially if you're not getting paid for it.
Sometimes, it's better to just sit and listen to your pal rant, rave, and whine, about how he or she has been done wrong. Often, people don't want an opinion or advice. They just want someone to listen.
And sometimes, that's better than knowing why men and women cheat.
- loveqna
Monday, June 6, 2011
Mariah Carey - Dream Lover
Mariah Carey has a Beautiful Voice, doesn't she? Wow.
This is one the songs that play a gazillion times while we work at night. One of my co-workers suggested that our employer was trying to brainwash us with sibliminal messages hidden in music.
lol.
That fool is nuts... Or, is he?
(Isn't it strange that I enjoy being single, yet, I'm always looking for the Girl Of My Dreams?
Is the Illuminati secretly controlling our love-lives???
Things that make you go "Mmmmmmm... What's REALLY going on?")
...keep your eyes open and watch your back.
Video provided by - MariahCareyVEVO
- loveqna
This is one the songs that play a gazillion times while we work at night. One of my co-workers suggested that our employer was trying to brainwash us with sibliminal messages hidden in music.
lol.
That fool is nuts... Or, is he?
(Isn't it strange that I enjoy being single, yet, I'm always looking for the Girl Of My Dreams?
Is the Illuminati secretly controlling our love-lives???
Things that make you go "Mmmmmmm... What's REALLY going on?")
...keep your eyes open and watch your back.
Video provided by - MariahCareyVEVO
- loveqna
Friday, June 3, 2011
Daydreaming About Romance Might Make You Lovesick
I have to stop thinking about this chick. If I don't I'm gonna MAKE myself fall in love with her.
This is a girl I've mentioned before.
She looks nice. Or, maybe I just THINK so because I've been thinking about approaching her for a date.
She's not someone I would normally be attracted to, but her personality is great. Or, maybe I'm just imagining it is...
???
I don't know.
Maybe I'm lonely.
Well, not enough to give up my Freedom. lol
I don't know.
I mean, she doesn't have a lot of the physical features I like.
I have to have something to turn me on and keep me interested.
Plus, I like to ogle and stare at My Girl just as other guys would.
I love her hair though. And she does have a nice booty. I mean, it's not round and bubbly, but it's curvy and well-proportioned. And, that's cool.
But, I'm a "Leg Man". I LUUUUV pretty legs.
And, I can't remember what her's look like. That's not a good sign. If a woman has beautiful legs, the image of them would stay in my mind for... a long time. Even if she's a stranger. Well, she has to have an "IT" factor going on too, but beautiful legs are my fetish.
If I walk in to work today and she's there wearing shorts, do you think that would be a sign?
What if those legs turn me off?
UGH!
I hate being human sometimes. Too many choices, decisions, and preferences.
I'm too picky.
I could lose my legs tomorrow. Or, today!
If I did, would she be willing to talk to me?
I have to stop being so damn picky.
Have you ever noticed that there are many people who are picky about who they would date but in reality, they have no right to be picky? I mean, they're so ugly that they look like they bathe and wash their face in "Ugly" everyday instead of soap and water?
Hell, I know I'm not the cutest cupcake on the block, but I have my moments. I can look cute every now and then.
I've got a little bit of style when it comes to fashion.
My personality is cool.
So, I make it do what it do with what I've got.
I guess that's why I'm so picky.
But...
Should I be picky about this girl? I could miss out on a good thing.
She IS smart as hell. And, she's in college. And, she's got a lot of energy. And, a nice butt. Oh, and nice boobs.
Damn...
Ugh!
I'll drive myself crazy about this chick.
The relationship could be a Winner. Or, it could be a dud.
I don't know...
I just don't wanna make a bad decision.
Lord, help me.
Bad Luck... You stay away.
- loveqna
This is a girl I've mentioned before.
She looks nice. Or, maybe I just THINK so because I've been thinking about approaching her for a date.
She's not someone I would normally be attracted to, but her personality is great. Or, maybe I'm just imagining it is...
???
I don't know.
Maybe I'm lonely.
Well, not enough to give up my Freedom. lol
I don't know.
I mean, she doesn't have a lot of the physical features I like.
I have to have something to turn me on and keep me interested.
Plus, I like to ogle and stare at My Girl just as other guys would.
I love her hair though. And she does have a nice booty. I mean, it's not round and bubbly, but it's curvy and well-proportioned. And, that's cool.
But, I'm a "Leg Man". I LUUUUV pretty legs.
And, I can't remember what her's look like. That's not a good sign. If a woman has beautiful legs, the image of them would stay in my mind for... a long time. Even if she's a stranger. Well, she has to have an "IT" factor going on too, but beautiful legs are my fetish.
If I walk in to work today and she's there wearing shorts, do you think that would be a sign?
What if those legs turn me off?
UGH!
I hate being human sometimes. Too many choices, decisions, and preferences.
I'm too picky.
I could lose my legs tomorrow. Or, today!
If I did, would she be willing to talk to me?
I have to stop being so damn picky.
Have you ever noticed that there are many people who are picky about who they would date but in reality, they have no right to be picky? I mean, they're so ugly that they look like they bathe and wash their face in "Ugly" everyday instead of soap and water?
Hell, I know I'm not the cutest cupcake on the block, but I have my moments. I can look cute every now and then.
I've got a little bit of style when it comes to fashion.
My personality is cool.
So, I make it do what it do with what I've got.
I guess that's why I'm so picky.
But...
Should I be picky about this girl? I could miss out on a good thing.
She IS smart as hell. And, she's in college. And, she's got a lot of energy. And, a nice butt. Oh, and nice boobs.
Damn...
Ugh!
I'll drive myself crazy about this chick.
The relationship could be a Winner. Or, it could be a dud.
I don't know...
I just don't wanna make a bad decision.
Lord, help me.
Bad Luck... You stay away.
- loveqna
Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat - Hidden Major Factors
Some "experts" touch on these Factors of Cheating, but usually, they only include "upbringing" and...
Well, I can't think of what other theories they have, but often when a cheater cheats, there's more than one reason. And much of the time, the idea to cheat isn't something that just happens overnight although cheating is bound by no rules.
Usually there are combination of reasons that develop over time while in the relationship.
It may start off as ONE thing, but as the relationship goes on and starts to fizzle, one partner notices OTHER things that turn him or her off - habits, appearance, personality, style, etc.
Or, he or she might notice other things OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP that turn him or her on like sexy men or women. Or, people with more attractive personalities and styles. Or, someone who is more understanding and kind to them.
Anyway, take a look at these notes. Keep an open mind. Get a second or third opinion if you need to. And continue to develop your Female Intuition or Male Instincts.
I think I might make a move on this chick at work today, but with my bad luck, she'll probably "chop my head off" and turn me down before I can get a word out. We'll see what happens.
I HAVE the courage. I just have to look for the opening and make a move.
Stay tuned!
-----------------------------------
(notes from "Double-Life" - a book I was working on at one time)
“The Major Factors of Cheating”
Back in the day, many people believed that the cause of infidelity was due to sex or neglect. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Today, as we see more and more troubled relationships and marriages, we now know that there are other factors involved.
The reason (or reasons) for cheating may be based on internal factors such as:
- Character and Personality (level of honesty; ethics; integrity; commitment)
- Desires, Goals, Dreams (what he or she wants or hopes to experience)
- Needs (such as emotional, physical, social, or financial needs)
- Fears and Insecurities (such as the fear of commitment, responsibility, or being stuck in a dead-end relationship; fear of his or her partner cheating or leaving)
- Disappointments (let-downs; depressed or unsure of his or her life and wanting a change in lifestyle)
- Preferences (things he or she likes and dislikes; turn-offs and turn-ons)
- Habits and Addictions
- Beliefs based on Upbringing and the Influential People in his or her life (state of mind; opinions; actions and re-actions)
Or external factors such as:
- Peer Pressure to do wrong or to deceive
- Lifestyle Choices
- Changes in partner or lifestyle
- Time and Circumstances
- Compatibility (or Incompatibility)
- Interests
- Home Environment (conflicts; radical changes; stress)
- Work Environment (temptations; stress)
How we act, react, perceive, and feel about these things makes each of us who we are.
Any of these things can have a negative (or positive) affect on a person’s personality, attitude, decisions, and commitment depending on how the person perceives and deals with life, relationships, and views his or her current situation.
But the only way to know what’s really on your partner's mind is through interaction and communication.
You can tell if your partner is happy to be in the relationship or if he or she wants out - or, if he or she is the type to lead people on and play games.
If the two people have good communication, a good “connection”, understanding, and “chemistry”, all pieces of the “puzzle” seem to fall into place and the relationship is something special. But, if things aren’t going so well in his or her life – or, if he or she feels trapped or dissatisfied in a dead-end relationship – he or she might turn to someone else for comfort, attention, excitement, or escape.
Each man and woman is different, thinks different, views life differently, living under different circumstances, and dealing with totally different situations and people everyday.
And since we all don’t (or can’t) deal with pressure, stress, or disappointment the same, our reactions to all of this drama in our lives won’t be the same.
Some people will even get angry about their situation and try to block out everything around them in order to find peace. Under stress (or disgust), their mind will become focused on one thing and that's getting out of the situation they're in.
So, a potential cheater (in a moment of weakness or due to poor character) will cheat or leave his or her relationship depending on what turns him on, what turns him off, his environment, his partner’s attitude, his influences, the current circumstances in his relationship and lifestyle, his personal preferences, desires, fears, fantasies, and most importantly: his character.
There may be an issue he or she has with the relationship. There may be an issue with him or her (such as loneliness, lack of respect for commitment, greed for sex, the need to be understood, or whatever). Or, he or she may be susceptible to peer pressure from family and friends - or flattery from a co-worker, friend, or acquaintance.
So, there could ANY reason (or combination of reasons) that a man or woman might cheat or leave a relationship.
- loveqna
Well, I can't think of what other theories they have, but often when a cheater cheats, there's more than one reason. And much of the time, the idea to cheat isn't something that just happens overnight although cheating is bound by no rules.
Usually there are combination of reasons that develop over time while in the relationship.
It may start off as ONE thing, but as the relationship goes on and starts to fizzle, one partner notices OTHER things that turn him or her off - habits, appearance, personality, style, etc.
Or, he or she might notice other things OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP that turn him or her on like sexy men or women. Or, people with more attractive personalities and styles. Or, someone who is more understanding and kind to them.
Anyway, take a look at these notes. Keep an open mind. Get a second or third opinion if you need to. And continue to develop your Female Intuition or Male Instincts.
I think I might make a move on this chick at work today, but with my bad luck, she'll probably "chop my head off" and turn me down before I can get a word out. We'll see what happens.
I HAVE the courage. I just have to look for the opening and make a move.
Stay tuned!
-----------------------------------
(notes from "Double-Life" - a book I was working on at one time)
“The Major Factors of Cheating”
Back in the day, many people believed that the cause of infidelity was due to sex or neglect. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Today, as we see more and more troubled relationships and marriages, we now know that there are other factors involved.
The reason (or reasons) for cheating may be based on internal factors such as:
- Character and Personality (level of honesty; ethics; integrity; commitment)
- Desires, Goals, Dreams (what he or she wants or hopes to experience)
- Needs (such as emotional, physical, social, or financial needs)
- Fears and Insecurities (such as the fear of commitment, responsibility, or being stuck in a dead-end relationship; fear of his or her partner cheating or leaving)
- Disappointments (let-downs; depressed or unsure of his or her life and wanting a change in lifestyle)
- Preferences (things he or she likes and dislikes; turn-offs and turn-ons)
- Habits and Addictions
- Beliefs based on Upbringing and the Influential People in his or her life (state of mind; opinions; actions and re-actions)
Or external factors such as:
- Peer Pressure to do wrong or to deceive
- Lifestyle Choices
- Changes in partner or lifestyle
- Time and Circumstances
- Compatibility (or Incompatibility)
- Interests
- Home Environment (conflicts; radical changes; stress)
- Work Environment (temptations; stress)
How we act, react, perceive, and feel about these things makes each of us who we are.
Any of these things can have a negative (or positive) affect on a person’s personality, attitude, decisions, and commitment depending on how the person perceives and deals with life, relationships, and views his or her current situation.
But the only way to know what’s really on your partner's mind is through interaction and communication.
You can tell if your partner is happy to be in the relationship or if he or she wants out - or, if he or she is the type to lead people on and play games.
If the two people have good communication, a good “connection”, understanding, and “chemistry”, all pieces of the “puzzle” seem to fall into place and the relationship is something special. But, if things aren’t going so well in his or her life – or, if he or she feels trapped or dissatisfied in a dead-end relationship – he or she might turn to someone else for comfort, attention, excitement, or escape.
Each man and woman is different, thinks different, views life differently, living under different circumstances, and dealing with totally different situations and people everyday.
And since we all don’t (or can’t) deal with pressure, stress, or disappointment the same, our reactions to all of this drama in our lives won’t be the same.
Some people will even get angry about their situation and try to block out everything around them in order to find peace. Under stress (or disgust), their mind will become focused on one thing and that's getting out of the situation they're in.
So, a potential cheater (in a moment of weakness or due to poor character) will cheat or leave his or her relationship depending on what turns him on, what turns him off, his environment, his partner’s attitude, his influences, the current circumstances in his relationship and lifestyle, his personal preferences, desires, fears, fantasies, and most importantly: his character.
There may be an issue he or she has with the relationship. There may be an issue with him or her (such as loneliness, lack of respect for commitment, greed for sex, the need to be understood, or whatever). Or, he or she may be susceptible to peer pressure from family and friends - or flattery from a co-worker, friend, or acquaintance.
So, there could ANY reason (or combination of reasons) that a man or woman might cheat or leave a relationship.
- loveqna
Why Men And Women Cheat - Common But Secret Factors
I have several topics I want to discuss today, but unfortunately, the job I love is now running my life, and I don't have much time to do anything except work, sleep, and ride my bike.
Man, what a sucker-ass life.
Damn...
I promised myself I would cut down on my cussin' and profanity and work on improving my vocabulary, but it's hard as hell - just like trying to quit smoking. (I'm not doing so good with that either.)
Anyway...
I wanted to move on to the next "chapter" in our "Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat" series but I wasn't sure where to start next. I wanna write in a "logical" order but I have an issue with rambling and staying focused on the topic. My mind wanders, I daydream, thoughts come and go as they please...
Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be a "real" writer, but why quit now? lol
Look at me - I'm rambling again.
Anyway, here are some notes I made last night while I was on break - PLUS!
I have some old notes from when I thought about writing a book a few years ago.
Okay, here we go.
The other day, we established that people have different opinions about what constitutes cheating.
But -
We also established (or, if we didn't, we gonna do it now) that cheating begins at the moment of Deception.
If you want to get "technical", we could say at the moment of "Deceptive Interaction" or "Deceptive Engagement" with someone other than the cheater's partner.
But, let's just keep it simple. We all know that the cheater is cheating, trying to cheat, or going to cheat, if he or she is lying and "sneaking around", so the bottom line is cheating is based on Deception.
So, our next discussion is: Why cheat in the first place? Why don't cheaters leave the relationship BEFORE they cheat? Why "live a lie" if they're not satisfied in the relationship?
Now, let's be honest. How many partners would want to hear that their partner isn't satisfied and wants out of the relationship? Very few.
How many people would try to talk their partner into staying in the relationship and "work things out"? A WHOLE BUNCH.
It happens all the time.
Hell, I've begged for a second chance before! A couple of times!
And, I've been on the one wanting to end the relationship as well. I'm sure you've been in that position before also. And, if you haven't, one day, you WILL be in that position. One day, You WILL have to break somebody's heart.
And it'll pain you to do it. Well, unless you're cold-blooded. But, it won't be easy for you every time. Trust me.
And, the person who wants to leave the relationship doesn't want to go through that drama. He or she doesn't want to Reject his or her lover, or wife, or husband, or boyfriend, or girlfriend. So, this is ONE reason why a man or woman might cheat!
And, guess what?
Here's a whole slew of others...
(Remember! These are old notes. And, I'm still only considering these ONE or maybe two or three reasons why men - AND women - cheat.)
· He may be afraid of the woman’s reaction. Many men (and women) believe that a lover or partner is so in love that he or she may go into extreme depression or even get suicidal if he or she is dumped. But he may also be afraid of her getting extremely angry too. Either way, he wants to avoid confrontation and/or a possible dangerous situation.
· He knows the woman is “Something Special” and deserves better than him. Depending on the man’s character, he may or may not feel guilty. BUT... He sincerely doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. This is why a lot of people waste months or years in a relationship that they don’t like. They settle for a relationship that they don’t want because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by kicking him or her to the curb. He doesn’t like the woman but, he doesn’t want her to feel rejected or like there is something wrong with her (although there may be), so he is afraid to tell her that he is interested in someone else.
· He might not be able to explain how he really feels about what’s turning him off or making him miserable. Or, he may have a secret fetish or desire that he’s afraid she won’t understand or approve of. Other than that, he’s happy with his relationship.
· He wouldn’t have a place to live or go if the relationship ended.
· He didn’t feel that he was cheating because his partner never made it clear that they were a couple. Yet, he will hide it.
· He’s a “player”. He thinks he’s slick and won’t get caught. This man knows he’s wrong but he doesn’t care or he can’t help himself. He’s a player who cheats for the thrill of mystery and deceit.
· He may be a player or waffler and enjoys having more than one woman. Variety.
· He may like being known as a player or “ladies man” and receiving attention from his family and friends. This type of player will usually have two main girls and “acquaintances” or “friends with benefits”.
· He has too much to lose if he tells her he wants out.
· He’s a waffler who likes or loves both women and doesn’t want to lose or give up either one.
· He is afraid to tell her that he wants out of the relationship so he cheats and hopes that she realizes this and leaves him. He wants to get caught and dumped. (A good sign he wants out is: he has also been showing lack of interest and has been distant). He is planning on telling her he wants out but he’s waiting for the right time. Plus, he is still building up courage.
· He didn’t intend for things to go this far with the other woman and now he doesn’t want to hurt the OTHER WOMAN’S feelings. Or, he’s afraid to explain to her that he was already in a relationship. So, now, he’s in a relationship with two women.
· He only considers the relationship an “arrangement” (friends with benefits) and therefore feels he doesn’t have to explain that he’s seeing someone else on the side. But, he forgot to tell the woman that they were “just friends with benefits”. She’s running around believing that they’re a monogamous couple. Note: Sometimes the woman will feel like the relationship is “more than friends” if she and the man have been seeing and dating each other exclusively for a while. But, unless you actually discuss it, or he says, “I don’t want to see anyone else, but you,” and you agree, then it’s a “friends with benefits” arrangement. It’s not “official”.
· He might not like the woman (his "Main Girl" or "Main Squeeze"), but he doesn’t want anyone else to have her either. So, he won’t let the relationship be over and let the woman go. He’ll neglect her most of the time. Cheat. And string her along by being romantic and showing her some attention every once and a while. So she may be mentally trapped in the relationship. The guy may make her miserable. They may have constant fights or arguments, and she may not trust him or maybe she knows he cheats, but she’ll hang on to him or “settle” for a bad relationship because of her kids, or because she’s lonely, or because she is in love. She may be “sick and tired, and have doubts, but she also has hope that one day, the guy will straighten up and change his ways.
Those are just a few of the examples why a cheating man won’t or can’t end the relationship with the woman.
But…
Although he may low down dirty snake in the grass, it may honestly be “true love” (real or imagined) that’s keeping him in the relationship. He may even realize that he has a good woman and doesn’t want to lose her. Even if he’s not in love with her, they may still have a “special bond”, and he knows that she is the best thing for him. He’s not going to give her up for any woman or anybody because he knows that she’s honest, loyal, and reliable. He can trust her, and he can depend on her for anything. But for some reason, he just can’t stop himself from flirting or chasing other women. He might try to fight this feeling or he might “play around on the side” and do his best not to get caught, but if the woman found out and tried to kick him to the curb, he would do whatever he could to try and win back her love and trust.
Sometimes a man may have some sort of secret fetish, phobia, or addiction he’s hiding and having a hard time dealing with or controlling (and he may even want to get it out in the open), but he’s afraid it could cost him all that he has. And, it’s not worth losing everything he’s got or giving up his current lifestyle for. So, he won’t leave (or be honest with his woman) because he has too much to lose.
A few other specific examples:
· He doesn’t want to ruin or give up his marriage
· He doesn’t want his children to get emotionally hurt and he doesn’t want to lose them
· He cheated on his woman, but he doesn’t want to leave because they’ve known each other for a very long time and are very close – maybe even best friends
· His Main Squeeze has done a lot to make the relationship work and he will feel guilty if he leaves
· He can’t get along with the woman but she is too beautiful to let go
· He tries to leave the other woman but he can’t resist having sex with her or going back to her. She’s a lot of fun. This type of man usually runs back and forth between two women. Sometimes, the two women know each other and that the guy is cheating with both of them.
· He’s cheating but he hasn’t met a woman with adequate looks or personality - no “quality” prospects to take the place of his current “main squeeze”
· He feels that he and the woman are compatible, so he doesn’t want to leave, but he just can’t resist other women
· He’s doesn’t want to have to search for another woman or go back out into the dating scene
· He’s afraid he might not find another woman as good to him as his current woman
· He feels he’s getting too old to go back out into the dating scene
· He may have been seduced or enticed to cheat. It only happened once. He’ll hide it and try very hard not to let it happen again. He may even avoid the other woman to make sure that nothing “on the side” develops. He doesn’t love the other woman at all.
· It was spontaneous. It only happened once and he really didn’t mean for it to happen. He’s not even sure how it happened. It was a “moment of weakness”, “animal instinct”, or “animal attraction”. Or, just a "reaction".
· He loves his woman and doesn’t want to lose her because of his addictions to women, flirting, or sex. He wants to keep his woman so that he will have a companion, but he also likes being free
· He believes that things will change (or his woman will change) and his relationship will improve so he doesn't want to completely give it up or end it.
· He doesn’t want to fail at his relationship. He really does believe in living “happily ever after”. He wants to be the knight who rides off into the sunset and live the good life with the beautiful princess. He doesn’t want to bounce around from relationship to relationship, date, cheat, or be a player. To him, it was just a "moment of weakness". He may even have felt guilty and admitted his infidelity
· He may cheat and not leave because he’s worried about what his friends or relatives might say or think. He doesn’t want to be embarrassed by his own scandalous behavior. He’s not totally happy, but he knows he has a good thing and that it’s better than most relationships. Also, his family and friends may be constantly trying to get him to straighten up and to stop cheating on his woman because she’s such “a good girl”. They may even try to convince HER to leave him to find someone better
· He’s afraid that he can’t make it on his own without the woman. The woman gives him money, takes care of him, always lets him borrow her car, or is always blessing him with gifts and favors. Or, if they live together, she may be the one “in charge” and the head of the household. He may not know what to do or how to budget without her. He may need her support or income to live comfortably.
· He has gained too much to lose. He and his wife, girlfriend, fiancée, or friend, have been very successful together. They have nice cars, a beautiful home, money, children, a business, or whatever, and he doesn’t want to give it all up
Every man has his own reason for being unable or unwilling to talk to his woman and telling her that he wants out of the relationship or that he is interested in someone else, but usually it’s because the risk of losing what he has is greater than the “rewards” he could gain.
Damn, I still didn't include "The Major Factors". Maybe we can pick that up on one of the next posts.
- loveqna
Man, what a sucker-ass life.
Damn...
I promised myself I would cut down on my cussin' and profanity and work on improving my vocabulary, but it's hard as hell - just like trying to quit smoking. (I'm not doing so good with that either.)
Anyway...
I wanted to move on to the next "chapter" in our "Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat" series but I wasn't sure where to start next. I wanna write in a "logical" order but I have an issue with rambling and staying focused on the topic. My mind wanders, I daydream, thoughts come and go as they please...
Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be a "real" writer, but why quit now? lol
Look at me - I'm rambling again.
Anyway, here are some notes I made last night while I was on break - PLUS!
I have some old notes from when I thought about writing a book a few years ago.
Okay, here we go.
The other day, we established that people have different opinions about what constitutes cheating.
But -
We also established (or, if we didn't, we gonna do it now) that cheating begins at the moment of Deception.
If you want to get "technical", we could say at the moment of "Deceptive Interaction" or "Deceptive Engagement" with someone other than the cheater's partner.
But, let's just keep it simple. We all know that the cheater is cheating, trying to cheat, or going to cheat, if he or she is lying and "sneaking around", so the bottom line is cheating is based on Deception.
So, our next discussion is: Why cheat in the first place? Why don't cheaters leave the relationship BEFORE they cheat? Why "live a lie" if they're not satisfied in the relationship?
Now, let's be honest. How many partners would want to hear that their partner isn't satisfied and wants out of the relationship? Very few.
How many people would try to talk their partner into staying in the relationship and "work things out"? A WHOLE BUNCH.
It happens all the time.
Hell, I've begged for a second chance before! A couple of times!
And, I've been on the one wanting to end the relationship as well. I'm sure you've been in that position before also. And, if you haven't, one day, you WILL be in that position. One day, You WILL have to break somebody's heart.
And it'll pain you to do it. Well, unless you're cold-blooded. But, it won't be easy for you every time. Trust me.
And, the person who wants to leave the relationship doesn't want to go through that drama. He or she doesn't want to Reject his or her lover, or wife, or husband, or boyfriend, or girlfriend. So, this is ONE reason why a man or woman might cheat!
And, guess what?
Here's a whole slew of others...
(Remember! These are old notes. And, I'm still only considering these ONE or maybe two or three reasons why men - AND women - cheat.)
· He may be afraid of the woman’s reaction. Many men (and women) believe that a lover or partner is so in love that he or she may go into extreme depression or even get suicidal if he or she is dumped. But he may also be afraid of her getting extremely angry too. Either way, he wants to avoid confrontation and/or a possible dangerous situation.
· He knows the woman is “Something Special” and deserves better than him. Depending on the man’s character, he may or may not feel guilty. BUT... He sincerely doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. This is why a lot of people waste months or years in a relationship that they don’t like. They settle for a relationship that they don’t want because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by kicking him or her to the curb. He doesn’t like the woman but, he doesn’t want her to feel rejected or like there is something wrong with her (although there may be), so he is afraid to tell her that he is interested in someone else.
· He might not be able to explain how he really feels about what’s turning him off or making him miserable. Or, he may have a secret fetish or desire that he’s afraid she won’t understand or approve of. Other than that, he’s happy with his relationship.
· He wouldn’t have a place to live or go if the relationship ended.
· He didn’t feel that he was cheating because his partner never made it clear that they were a couple. Yet, he will hide it.
· He’s a “player”. He thinks he’s slick and won’t get caught. This man knows he’s wrong but he doesn’t care or he can’t help himself. He’s a player who cheats for the thrill of mystery and deceit.
· He may be a player or waffler and enjoys having more than one woman. Variety.
· He may like being known as a player or “ladies man” and receiving attention from his family and friends. This type of player will usually have two main girls and “acquaintances” or “friends with benefits”.
· He has too much to lose if he tells her he wants out.
· He’s a waffler who likes or loves both women and doesn’t want to lose or give up either one.
· He is afraid to tell her that he wants out of the relationship so he cheats and hopes that she realizes this and leaves him. He wants to get caught and dumped. (A good sign he wants out is: he has also been showing lack of interest and has been distant). He is planning on telling her he wants out but he’s waiting for the right time. Plus, he is still building up courage.
· He didn’t intend for things to go this far with the other woman and now he doesn’t want to hurt the OTHER WOMAN’S feelings. Or, he’s afraid to explain to her that he was already in a relationship. So, now, he’s in a relationship with two women.
· He only considers the relationship an “arrangement” (friends with benefits) and therefore feels he doesn’t have to explain that he’s seeing someone else on the side. But, he forgot to tell the woman that they were “just friends with benefits”. She’s running around believing that they’re a monogamous couple. Note: Sometimes the woman will feel like the relationship is “more than friends” if she and the man have been seeing and dating each other exclusively for a while. But, unless you actually discuss it, or he says, “I don’t want to see anyone else, but you,” and you agree, then it’s a “friends with benefits” arrangement. It’s not “official”.
· He might not like the woman (his "Main Girl" or "Main Squeeze"), but he doesn’t want anyone else to have her either. So, he won’t let the relationship be over and let the woman go. He’ll neglect her most of the time. Cheat. And string her along by being romantic and showing her some attention every once and a while. So she may be mentally trapped in the relationship. The guy may make her miserable. They may have constant fights or arguments, and she may not trust him or maybe she knows he cheats, but she’ll hang on to him or “settle” for a bad relationship because of her kids, or because she’s lonely, or because she is in love. She may be “sick and tired, and have doubts, but she also has hope that one day, the guy will straighten up and change his ways.
Those are just a few of the examples why a cheating man won’t or can’t end the relationship with the woman.
But…
Although he may low down dirty snake in the grass, it may honestly be “true love” (real or imagined) that’s keeping him in the relationship. He may even realize that he has a good woman and doesn’t want to lose her. Even if he’s not in love with her, they may still have a “special bond”, and he knows that she is the best thing for him. He’s not going to give her up for any woman or anybody because he knows that she’s honest, loyal, and reliable. He can trust her, and he can depend on her for anything. But for some reason, he just can’t stop himself from flirting or chasing other women. He might try to fight this feeling or he might “play around on the side” and do his best not to get caught, but if the woman found out and tried to kick him to the curb, he would do whatever he could to try and win back her love and trust.
Sometimes a man may have some sort of secret fetish, phobia, or addiction he’s hiding and having a hard time dealing with or controlling (and he may even want to get it out in the open), but he’s afraid it could cost him all that he has. And, it’s not worth losing everything he’s got or giving up his current lifestyle for. So, he won’t leave (or be honest with his woman) because he has too much to lose.
A few other specific examples:
· He doesn’t want to ruin or give up his marriage
· He doesn’t want his children to get emotionally hurt and he doesn’t want to lose them
· He cheated on his woman, but he doesn’t want to leave because they’ve known each other for a very long time and are very close – maybe even best friends
· His Main Squeeze has done a lot to make the relationship work and he will feel guilty if he leaves
· He can’t get along with the woman but she is too beautiful to let go
· He tries to leave the other woman but he can’t resist having sex with her or going back to her. She’s a lot of fun. This type of man usually runs back and forth between two women. Sometimes, the two women know each other and that the guy is cheating with both of them.
· He’s cheating but he hasn’t met a woman with adequate looks or personality - no “quality” prospects to take the place of his current “main squeeze”
· He feels that he and the woman are compatible, so he doesn’t want to leave, but he just can’t resist other women
· He’s doesn’t want to have to search for another woman or go back out into the dating scene
· He’s afraid he might not find another woman as good to him as his current woman
· He feels he’s getting too old to go back out into the dating scene
· He may have been seduced or enticed to cheat. It only happened once. He’ll hide it and try very hard not to let it happen again. He may even avoid the other woman to make sure that nothing “on the side” develops. He doesn’t love the other woman at all.
· It was spontaneous. It only happened once and he really didn’t mean for it to happen. He’s not even sure how it happened. It was a “moment of weakness”, “animal instinct”, or “animal attraction”. Or, just a "reaction".
· He loves his woman and doesn’t want to lose her because of his addictions to women, flirting, or sex. He wants to keep his woman so that he will have a companion, but he also likes being free
· He believes that things will change (or his woman will change) and his relationship will improve so he doesn't want to completely give it up or end it.
· He doesn’t want to fail at his relationship. He really does believe in living “happily ever after”. He wants to be the knight who rides off into the sunset and live the good life with the beautiful princess. He doesn’t want to bounce around from relationship to relationship, date, cheat, or be a player. To him, it was just a "moment of weakness". He may even have felt guilty and admitted his infidelity
· He may cheat and not leave because he’s worried about what his friends or relatives might say or think. He doesn’t want to be embarrassed by his own scandalous behavior. He’s not totally happy, but he knows he has a good thing and that it’s better than most relationships. Also, his family and friends may be constantly trying to get him to straighten up and to stop cheating on his woman because she’s such “a good girl”. They may even try to convince HER to leave him to find someone better
· He’s afraid that he can’t make it on his own without the woman. The woman gives him money, takes care of him, always lets him borrow her car, or is always blessing him with gifts and favors. Or, if they live together, she may be the one “in charge” and the head of the household. He may not know what to do or how to budget without her. He may need her support or income to live comfortably.
· He has gained too much to lose. He and his wife, girlfriend, fiancée, or friend, have been very successful together. They have nice cars, a beautiful home, money, children, a business, or whatever, and he doesn’t want to give it all up
Every man has his own reason for being unable or unwilling to talk to his woman and telling her that he wants out of the relationship or that he is interested in someone else, but usually it’s because the risk of losing what he has is greater than the “rewards” he could gain.
Damn, I still didn't include "The Major Factors". Maybe we can pick that up on one of the next posts.
- loveqna
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