notes - Improving Your Confidence Through Prioritizing and Decision-Making

I have a dilemma...

My instincts or E.S.P must've kicked in strong the other day because I was making notes in my phone on how to improve decision-making skills for a "confidence" post... Well, no sooner had I finished when my homegirl texted me and asked me if I wanted to be her roommate. I said, "damn".

Let me tell you something: My homegirl is cool. But, I don't know if I could handle living in such close proximity to her. She's nuts. And, she does some weird shit sometimes. Like she "has a few screws loose".

Around Thanksgiving, I mentioned to her that my current roommate was worrying me to death about eating healthier, smoking cigarettes (my homegirl doesn't like me smoking either), doing "boyfriend-type" chores, running errands, etc., and that I would probably move out soon. I don't want to be obligated to anyone for anything right now. I enjoy being single and free.

Well, this "nut" suggested that we could be roommates.

I was shocked and leery as hell. I didn't know she was gonna suggest that or I would've never opened my damn mouth.

Somehow, I bullshitted my way out of the conversation and she didn't mention it again - until the other day.

Now, she NEEDS a roommate.

I can't lie. Even though she's crazy as hell, I still think she's cute.

But, my instincts have already told me there will be some drama.

And, I'll miss having my own bathroom and walk-in closet... and carpet under my feet... no loud noises or disturbances.

Without her wearing a straight-jacket ain't no telling how crazy it's going to be living under the same roof with that broad.

I mentioned how crazy she was in another post. And, that wasn't even half of a description of her insanity.

Anyway, she wants (or prefers) me to move in this weekend. I don't know why, but that's what she wants.

For the most part, me and my roommate get along well. It's almost like we're in a good relationship - just without the hanky-panky going on. And, my homegirl - although she's crazy as hell, she's a straight-up "ride or die" chick. (And, I'll tell you about that later.) But, it's almost insane for me to pass up an opportunity to be in a setting with a girl like that. We're like Bonnie and Clyde when we're alone together...

So, I don't know what to do. Hence, this post.

Anyway...

These aren't the actual notes I created in my phone but, if you're reading the posts on building confidence and improving conversation skills, these will also help. And, I'll add from my original notes later.

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notes - priorities and decisions:

If you're trying to get your life together to improve your love-life or relationship, the first thing to remember is: Use Your Instincts when learning from "successful" people (like: celebrities or friends or customers or your boss).

The second thing to remember is: DON'T overload yourself with too much studying and research! Start DOING.

Take Action to change your Life right now.

Don't keep thinking about it.

Don't sit around watching TV trying to be Inspired or to find Motivation. Just start doing it a little bit at a time...

Don't go for the overnight success either! If it happens, cool. But, most improvement takes hard work (including good relationships unless there's Chemistry), and steady growth over a period of time.

You can cut and trim that Time a little bit here and there, when the opportunities and options present themselves. But, take your time and make the necessary personal adjustments without trying to take RISKY shortcuts and it'll happen before you know it.

.....

learn how to be a leader - accept leadership roles that force you to make decisions and choices.

learn to adapt to situations and sudden events

learn to adjust (or change) your position based on sudden events or circumstances - don't run from opportunities like these which will help you grow and gain personal strength

You should also pay attention to how people with experience deal with situations and challenges in life - BUT! use your instincts to be sure you're not accepting advice or learning from a liar or a fool - it never hurts to get a second or third opinion also

know what you need right now and soon

know what you want right now and soon

know what you don't want and need - cut and trim the "baggage" and unnecessary waste.

Sacrifice and BE WILLING to sacrifice when you KNOW it's necessary

Don't make decisions (for what you want and need) based on how comfortable or UN-comfortable your surroundings will be - BUT! know what's acceptable and unacceptable conditions for you (your safety, stress, intrusions, options, distractions, quality time, rules, etc.)

know what you want out of Life

know what you want to accomplish

know what your dreams and fantasies are (things that ARE possible but not depressing if you don't do them)

Have a back-up plan - prepare for the worst (but, don't dwell on it)

Realize when you have the upperhand and options. You have the power when you have the ability to decide "yes" or "no". Don't relinquish this power when you have it. demand fairness, respect, quality service, and your money's worth. the same things you would give if the shoe was on the other foot.

To find your "Calling In Life", just explore the World and your options. travel, research, be curious, try new things, meet more people, join a social group, volunteer, engage in a new interest or hobby. you'll never know what it might be or what role you'll play until it overtakes you and you fall in love with it. but, most of the time, it's something you'll be obsessed by and want to share with other people.

know what's best for your future (to be self-sufficient - independent)

always remember that Life is hard and the higher you go, the more difficult it will get. it won't get any easier until you discover for yourself what Life is all about to you. the thing is: no matter where you are in life at the moment, don't get discouraged by the distractions, the drama, the confusion, the setbacks, or whenever you lose something (or someone) you really love.

the trick is NOT conquering all of the B.S. but LEARNING how to deal with it. how to HANDLE it. learn, grow, then teach those after you (you kids or whomever) the lessons you've learned. and we continue to advance and evolve.

continue to learn how to do things better and more efficiently - especially managing your time, money, and energy - but, also, creating friendships, choosing a mate wisely, engaging in contracts or bargaining, making deals and promises, investing, dealing with professionals, dealing with ignorant people, etc.

Never be too stubborn to change, compromise, or to stop and think.

know WHO you love (and care about) - but, know who your real friends are also

know WHAT you love - the things that bring happiness, calmness, inner strength, and peace of mind - your PERSONAL entertainment/ FUN

Remember that TOO MUCH of a good thing is USUALLY bad for you - including being too nice, too generous, too much partying, too much relaxing, or too much daydreaming

Have your own rules and philosophies to live by even if you borrow them from someone else or from a book of wisdom or learn them from your parents

Many of your rules and what you BELIEVE is right for you and NOT right for you should focus on helping you grow and should help you stay focused on your goals and priorities

if you want something, just ask (this includes a better deal and the best deal)

know what important questions you need to ask before you see a professional about anything - and don't allow him or her to rush you off or take your concerns lightly - ask as many questions as you need to ask. and remember, it's wise to do your own research or to get a second or third opinion

sometimes you need to talk about what you're going through to other people just in case someone can help you, hook you up, or point you in the right direction

when making day to day decisions - it never hurts to plan out a schedule the day before - in your head or on paper (paper is probably best) make a to-do list. by day and by week. any important deadlines and events should be noted (for business, pleasure, or kindness - like birthdays)

there will almost always be daily chores and social situations you will have to attend to (to show some love or thoughtfulness and bonding), but don't shy away. just say "no" if you can't attend - but don't make it a habit. if you can make time to do it, then do it, just make your friends aware that you can't stay long because you're on a tight schedule and have to "run errands"

learn to save (time, money, energy) so that you can complete your day to day goals and chores easier - not to mention long-term goals - ask questions and EXPLORE to find out if there is a better way or MORE EFFICIENT way of doing things - your main objective is to take care of these smaller goals so that they can help you reach your major goals.

I know that's a lot to swallow, so I'll save the rest for another day.

end of notes.

- loveqna