10 Reasons Why Some People Prefer A "Friends With Benefits" Relationship

I could already predict what most people's reaction would be after they read that topic sentence. And, if you've been reading this blog and developing your instincts and intuition - as you should be - then, You also know what most people's reaction is after reading that topic sentence.

BUT! Let me say this:

Not all people who are involved in a "friends with benefits" relationship (FWB) "wants to have their cake and eat it too."

While it's true that many of the people who are involved in a "friends with benefits" relationship are "players", "wafflers", "hoochies", "hoes", "cheaters", and "free spirits", who have no intention on making a commitment, it's also true that there are some sincere people involved in this type of relationship who want a serious commitment in the end.

It's just a fact that MANY relationships have to start somewhere. And, they start off as friendships that develop into something more - like a "friendship with benefits". Or, EXCLUSIVELY dating one person.

Although some people's hormones or libido takes over their mind and judgement - or, they "fall in love" - for the most part, many of them still want to take their time and get to know the person they're involved with on various Intimate levels.

Those honest men and women ain't looking for an occasional "hook-up" or a "booty call" three nights a week. That's not their goal. Sometimes, it just goes on like that for a while.

In reality, they want something serious and solid that they can build a foundation on.

How many times have you known a good man or woman who had a "friend" and was involved in a "friends with benefits" relationship but dated their "friend" exclusively? And, the person they're "dating" might feel the same way about them.

They just might not call it a "girlfriend-boyfriend" relationship. Or, even ask each other about a commitment. They just assume that they're committed because they're dating each other exclusively.

Maybe one of them will "clear the air" and bring the conversation up. Like:

"What is this? Are we dating or in a relationship or what? How do you feel about me?"

"Woman, we've been kickin' it for 24 and a half hours! You know I love about you and no one else. Let's get married and have kids. I'm trading my Porche in for a Chrysler minivan tomorrow morning."

And, after their "suspicions" or desires are confirmed, they can go from there with certainty - knowing that they're in an established relationship.

They didn't want to "have their cake and eat it too." They KNEW they were looking for a long-term relationship and their SoulMate in the first place.

Critics are right (sort of): A "friends with benefits" relationship is NOT necessary in a courtship.

But often, it's the natural Course in a courtship.

Most people don't go from meeting a stranger one day to a commitment a week or a month later.

Sometimes, your hormones takeover. Sometimes, people "fall in love" (or "in lust"). And, sometimes, people (both parties) want to sample the merchandise before they make a purchase (or a commitment).

You have to get to know the person one way or the other.

You don't necessarily have to be intimate with him or her, but if you do, the responsibility for doing so is yours. Right?

Hell, there are a lot of innocent and pure virgins out there running around with chastity belts on saving themselves for marriage.

No one says you have to make love to the bum or allow him or her to "have their cake and eat it too."

You don't HAVE to be involved in a "friends with benefits" relationship if you don't want to be.

But, some people do it because:

- They're "lovestruck" and fear that this man or woman might find someone else. So, they continue on with the "friendship" because they don't want to lose him or her.

- Sometimes, people who aren't where they want to be in life won't make a commitment because they want to devote most of their energy to pursuing their career or dreams. It's not that they DON'T want to be in a relationship. It's just that they want to be focused on their goal.

- Some of those people who are involved in these FWB relationships don't feel completely compatible (or satisfied) with the person they're involved with. BUT, they see the potential and don't want to let this person go. They're hoping that their love-interest will change and become a more positive and devoted person.

- Some people don't feel they have the time to devote to serious relationship because their hobby, interests, job, or school. But, they still want to date and have fun every once and a while.

- Some people want to know their "friend" on ALL LEVELS before they make a commitment. They want to be satisfied emotionally, physically, socially, spiritually, and financially before things go any further. This is also what a "waffler" might do and why he or she may have two "friends" at the same time. Picky and trying to choose.

- And, of course, some people want to know if they have "sexual chemistry" with the person they're seeing BEFORE they get into a serious relationship.

- And, some people JUST DON'T ASK or TALK ABOUT the relationship status with their "friend". They simply go with the flow and expect things to work out.

And, there are other reasons. Everybody has their own.

Now, the reasons why most "players", cheaters, and wafflers, are involved in a "friends with benefits" relationship is pretty simple.

They want that Booty.

- They love sex and want to pursue it freely without restrictions. They'll use the person like a convenience store for as long as he or she let's them.

- Sometimes, they're already IN a relationship and don't want TWO or more serious commitments.

- They like being free to party, hangout with their comrades, and move freely without "checking in" or interruptions. It's not always about sex for "free spirited" folks.

- Sometimes, they can't decide between two people and want to keep both for variety in sex, companionship, conversation, and social or intellectual pursuits.

- Sometimes, a "player" will keep a guy or girl as a "friend" only because he or she is "hot" or "good in bed". Other than that, the "friend" has no value and serves no purpose to the bum. The only thing that poor sap is getting are booty calls and fast food. McDonald's.

And, of course, there are other reasons why "players", hoes, and wafflers, are involved in these "friends with benefits" relationships. You know everyone has their own reason.

But, most people know the risk they're taking by not taking their time to get to know the person they're courting.

If they don't know to ask questions and observe in order to find out if they and their prospect are "on the same page", have the same relationship goals, or if they're compatible, then they have no one to blame but themselves when they end up in an FWB for 5 or 10 years.

They know the rules of the game.

If they don't, educate them or send them here.

- loveqna