Is Depression Ruining Your Love-Life?

Besides mosquitos, cockroaches, social animosity, and violence, Depression is high on the list of the things I hate. And, I know you must hate it too...

I hate on Depression because Depression ruins a lot of lives and relationships. Not only does it have the ability to turn you against YOURSELF. It can turn you against your family and friends, and it can turn your family and friends against you.

I can't stand it. Why do we even HAVE this emotion in psychological inventory?

Lots of things can cause Depression. My belief is: it depends on the person, his or her perspective of life, his or her perspective of social situations, and how he or she deals with social and personal situations. And don't forgot about including his or her habits and addictions. These things can play a part in a person's overall mood and vibe too.

I don't want to sound like some kind of quack or guru because I'm not. I'm just trying to learn as much about it as possible and pass on any information or references I think might be helpful in the fight against it.

I've had to fight it. I think more than a third of the world is dealing with it on a day-to-day basis. But, that is only personal speculation. I don't have any stats or survey results based on this. But, let me tell you why I believe this...

When I look at all of the news and reports about divorces, break-ups, infidelity, people struggling with long-distance relationships or military deployment, domestic violence, homicide-suicide deaths, and suicides - not to mention all of the other crap and fears we have to deal with - I can't help but wonder just how bad Depression REALLY is in our World right now.

There's a lot of people walking around here in a daze, right now, suffering from Depression because they feel they have no one to talk to about it. They know it's something people would rather sweep under the rug and not talk about because everyone has their own issues they're dealing with. So, they have to try to deal with it the best that they can. And, it's a struggle. Some of them carry this dark cloud around inside of them for years and years, trying to fight it or at least get out from up under it every once and a while, but it's tough.

What makes it worse is when none of your friends, or family members, or your spouse, seems to care. All they care about is that you "snap out of it" and "get on with your life". "Stop whining and do what you need to do to survive". And, sadly, for the most part, they're right. They don't understand what you're going through, but they're right.

We can't let Depression conquer us or make us stagnant or keep us from doing what we have to do to live. Other people - friends and family included - may give up on us, but we can't give up on ourselves. We can't lay around in a daze and depend on them to make our lives better or to support us for years while we're in a state of despair or feeling that Life is pointless. We have to get out and make moves and try to find a way to overcome this darkness and bitterness that we feel towards ourselves and/or Life.

We all know that Depression can keep you down, but we have to fight it and press onward. That's our main purpose in Life: To grow, elevate, and continue to move forward; To enjoy Life and the good times with all of the other people we love and care about.

But, how do we fight it and get back on track to enjoying The Good Life?

First, find the cause...

* Is it something or some THINGS that you fear?

* Is it something you want to get or achieve that you can't?

* Is it a fear of some future event?

* Is it something you wish you could change?

* Do you feel stuck in a situation and see no way out?

* Could it be your diet?

* Could it be your environment or surroundings?

* Is it the bad vibes of other people affecting you?

What is it?

Think about what it is that depresses you and KNOW exactly why it depresses you. Then, consider your options.

What can you do to change this situation?

What can you do to avoid a bad outcome?

And, if you can't avoid it, how can you deal with it when the time comes?

IF the time comes?

Since we can't predict the future so we don't know what will really happen. There may be an unexpected blessing.

If it's a past event, I know it's hard to forget. Hell, I'm dealing with past situations in my head every day of my Life. Sometimes, every few hours. Sometimes, every hour. And, if you're dealing with demons in the same fashion, I know those thoughts can last for several minutes or much much longer. But, there's nothing you can do about the past. That time is gone. The only thing you can do about it right now is pray and try to change what you CAN change today to make things better later on down the road. If there is nothing you do to redeem yourself, all you can do is pray about it and let it go. Ask forgiveness to whomever you need to ask it, and move on. You might not EVER forget what happened, but you can't let it break your spirit.

Some of us harbor past events while other people have moved on and forgotten all about them. There may be other people you want to get back at for doing you wrong, but if you can't, f*ck it. Don't let their evil ways destroy you inside. You might not ever forget, but you have to move on.

Sometimes Depression is caused by something we want or need but can't get or don't know how to get. I've asked a few people about this and do you know how they conquered this type of Depression? They gave up. Some of them just said the hell with whatever they were trying to get their hands on and settled for whatever they had at the moment. I'll be honest with you, I don't like that kind of thinking, BUT... some things in Life really aren't important enough to be worth stressing over. But, if you're like me and stubborn (I'm an Aries) and have to have whatever it is your heart desires, don't sit around worried about how you're going to get it. Make moves. Learn. Study. Travel. Develop connections. Make phone calls. Do whatever you have to do to improve your chances of getting what you want and need.

There's one important fact that I didn't realize until someone pointed it out to me and that was: Foods, what we drink, and our overall diet can affect our mood, drive, energy level, thinking, and ability to focus - just like vitamins, drugs, or drinks. So, think about changing or enhancing your diet and what you ingest.

The bad vibes of other people and your environment can also affect your drive, how you feel about yourself, and how you feel about life. I'm sure you know this, but step back and take a close look. What can you change to improve your environment? How can you deal with the bad vibes of othe people or block out the B.S. they throw your way?

Another thing you could do to fight Depression is to learn it, study, and help other people that might be suffering from it. Become a counselor or communicate with others in forums or on YouTube or start a blog about it. But, do it ONLY if you're passionate about it. Don't go that far if you're not ready for the responsibility and demands that go along with it. When people open up to me about their issues or problems, I listen and offer my opinions sometimes, but sometimes - they just want to vent or talk, so I let them do that too.

The final thing you could do is see a reputable therapist. I know. Many of us don't want to deal with doctors because we don't want to take medications that might make us sick or worse off than we already are. And we don't want to go to a doctor or mental health institution and have that "mental health" issue on our record. I know how you feel. It's scary to think that if we go to a clinic or something that we'll be labeled "crazy" or have to disclose to the world that we suffered from mental health issues in our past. But, on the upside, seeing a therapist IS supposed to be fashionable these days...

This is not an invitation to follow in my footsteps, BUT...

I'm holding out for as long as I can.

Some people suffer from forms of Depression that can't be explained. Maybe it's hereditary or has something to do with their genes or due to a traumatic experience, but it's sad that there's no real cure. I was at a party once and saw this guy who just grumbled like he was angry about something. I thought he was rappin' or something under his breath. You know some rap music has got some pretty angry lyrics, so I thought he was rappin'. Unfortunately, the hostess - which was a friend and his guardian - told us that he witnessed his friend get shot by a stray bullet and it traumatized him. So, for years, he had been like that. They tried giving him medication and therapy, but he won't snap out of it. He'll do everything she tells him to do and when she told him to stop making that noise, he stopped. But then he's moving around like he's not sure where to go, or he stares "out" with this blank look on his face. It's scary. And sad. I had to keep my eyes on him. I wasn't about to let him get the jump on me, Jack.

Ultimately, I don't think it's wise to sit alone in one place too long and think. Try to do things that make you happy. Do things that improve your life or that are fun. Participate in hobbies or interests that require you to use your mind to calculate and keep your awareness level kind of high. Exercise or run.

Take a look at one my past issues on How To Get Over A Break-Up. There are a few suggestions near the end of that post of a few things that can take your mind off of your troubles.

Now, like I said (and you know), I'm no expert. These are only my personal opinions. But, I offer them because I know that Depression can hurt relationships and cause arguments and drama. You could be hurting deep down and nobody would give a rats ass. All they want you to do is snap out of it and move on. Deal with it the best you can, and get help if you need to, and if your friends and lover doesn't think enough of you to try to help you, then after you cure your Depression, it may be time for you to cure yourself of that problem too.

- loveqna