notes - A Few Ways To Stop Negative Thoughts

Blahhh, more notes...

I can't help it. Too many ideas; Too much confusion going on inside of my head.

This post is for the timid who are afraid to approach good prospects for fear of rejection. Don't think negative of yourself before you even try. And don't wage all of your bets on one prospect! You don't know if he or she is even the right person for you. Relax. Approach. Say what you have to say. And, if he or she responds, go from there. If not, move on with your next plan.

Don't have high expectations of someone you don't know!

I have also considered these notes for people who are depressed.

BEING ALONE is what is dragging you down! You don't have any other "human energy" to connect with and interact with and to draw from. so, of course, your spirits are gonna be low!

Get out of the house if you can. If you can't, improve your energy through Creating...

Write. Invent. Produce. Design. Use your time to expand your Mind. Don't allow negative thoughts or fear to suppress the energy that's hidden deep inside.

To those who are stuck in these dead-ass piss-ass relationships with these tyrannical bullies and bums:

Don't allow the negativity to conquer your spirit! Keep an open mind and seek ways to allow your inner strength to re-emerge!

Consider the times when you have felt positive, strong, and confident.

Stay away from fear. Be cunning. Use reverse-psychology if you have to. Find ways to deal with that skank or scumbag until you escape your situation. Don't give up and don't get distracted from your goal. A better life awaits you.

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notes - How To Stop Negative Thoughts...


First, Realize that "you're only scared of what you THINK you're scared of."

Look beyond the situation. Take a look at multiple points of view.

Use your Wisdom to see beyond the tricks your mind is playing on you.

Don't drop your head and drag your feet over the challenges Life throws at you! Stand Tall and FACE your demons and enemies head on! Conquer them and wipe them out! Don't allow misery to rule and ruin your life...

Sometimes these "tests" in Life are put there to build our character! To make us Stronger! To prepare us for the REAL Challenges that lie ahead.

Don't let Fear or Doubt or Anger destroy your Instincts or Good Common Sense!

Life is full of B.S. And, you're going to have to deal with now AND later. So, ain't no need in crying about it or lying down and giving up.

Face it. Kick it to the curb. And, move on.

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WHEN YOU START TO HAVE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS...

Say "No" to them.

Turn your attention to your Goals.

Get busy and Stay productive and on the path to achieving your Goals. Even if your negative thoughts have nothing to do with your Goals, think of your Goals anyway. Don't overwhelm yourself. That's going to push you back into negativity. Consider the smaller goals. And Remember: you also have to tackle the smaller goals a little at a time.

Engage in activities that require thought and concentration. Calculate. Analyze.

Stay focused on the end results you want. Don't get distracted by negativity, doubt, or pain

Consider the probability of a Good Outcome rather than a negative outcome.

Change your thoughts by making out a "to do" list. Plan the next steps you need to take to get closer to your Goal.

WHEN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS START TO CREEP UP ON YOU...

Learn tactics that will help you make allies and that will help you adapt to your surroundings until you can escape the situation. See yourself as being "tested" and/or "on a mission" because this is also what Life is about - dealing with your tests and challenges and moving forward towards your Goal.

If dream after dream comes crashing down, don't whine about it. There may be another path meant for you to take or another calling in your life. Sometimes it's a good thing when things don't happen the way we want them to happen - or WHEN we want them to happen. Study the situation and look for other ways around the mess and to achieve your ultimate goal.

ANOTHER WAY TO STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS...

Don't put yourself down or cause timid thoughts within your mind - plan your actions and know what you have to do. Then, go for it. Release yourself of all resistance and dive in. Let yourself go. Say to yourself that you will deal with the situation as it happens. Plan in advance. Think, Act, and Respond later.

Realize what you have done right, plan what your next step should be, think about what you COULD do to help the situation, then, focus on something else

Challenge what could be making you feel negative or have doubts. Be realistic about your situation and how it can be improved or what you need to do or get to improve it

If you have caused "damage" that cannot be "repaired" or made a mistake that cannot be corrected, it's almost certain that it will be with you for the rest of your life. Realize that reality. But, although you were at fault, you can't stop living. There are at least four good deeds you can do in turn. Apologize. Ask for forgiveness. Forgive yourself for the error. And meditate (or pray) about the entire matter (the error, your apology, and the forgiveness). And a fifth deed will bring you good karma (if it's in your heart to do it) which is: contribute something to show your sincerity. (time; volunteer; testimony; artwork; whatever is in your heart and ability to do) But, don't mull over this forever. We all make errors in our lives, but we must move on. Let the Law Of Karma settle the deed.

TO FIGHT NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, YOU CAN ALSO...

Make moves - engage in an activity or go visit a friend - get out of your current surroundings

If it's late at night - have a release agent (write; make a video; make notes) on your current feelings or how to conquer or deal with your current feelings

Read or watch a movie

Distract yourself with a simple task like analyzing or calculating (working out a simple math problem or forming an opinion of something or planning your schedule for tomorrow)

Read or watch a movie that deals with positive thinking or reflection

Read a book of wisdom to activate inner strength and revelations

Research or study some techniques (constantly) to help you conquer this feeling (in advance)

Don't overwhelm yourself with too many ideas or chores that are unnecessary - some things you're thinking about probably aren't as important to your life as you think

SOMETIMES NEGATIVE THOUGHTS APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE! BUT, KEEP YOUR COOL...

Don't worry about disappointing people you don't owe or aren't obligated to

Don't worry about people speaking negative of you or talking about you behind your back. people are going to say good and bad things about each other all the time so don't whine about it or concern yourself about it (some exceptions - unless you just have nothing else to talk about and want to make a conversation out of the situation)

SOMETIMES, YOU GOT TO CONQUER THOSE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS BEFORE THEY ENTER YOUR BRAIN...

Call anyone involved and confirm their participation. don't deal with unreliable or floppy people in the first place. if you have a hard time getting people together, find someone who is better at it. make sure you choose an acceptable time and location in the first place.

Don't procrastinate or wait until the last minute and put yourself under pressure (or, anyone else that doesn't deserve it)

Don't multi-task when you don't have to. Cut down on some of your errands, promises, and obligations so that you're not overwhelmed and scatter-brained.

Be realistic.

- is it YOUR problem or is it someone else's problem? Are you meddling in something that's not your responsibility? Are you meddling in someone else's life who doesn't want you in their business in the first place?

- how much will this really affect your progress or life? Can you correct this mistake if things don't turn out right the first time? What's the big deal? More work? Will take longer than necessary? Is it really just more "junk" or another "chore" in your life that you will have to deal with on a regular basis?


end of notes

loveqna

notes - Don't Let Those Jackasses Break Your Spirit

I know I'm posting a lot of notes lately. I have a lot on my mind, but my time is limited since I'm working 3rd shift again, so I'm posting some of my thoughts and plans as notes to be updated later when I go on vacation.

I might not go skiing. I told you some of those bums where kind of "shaky". They thought we would be able to use the cabin next week and it was already reserved. So, they're going the week after next, and I've already put in my request for next week off and can't change it due to some of my co-workers already requesting those days.

Well, that's life.

I'm not gonna let it worry me. I'm gonna enjoy my time off.

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NO MORE MR. NICEGUY

notes...

people can call you names and beat you up but don't let them beat you down and make you feel sorry for yourself or hate your life - to hell with those jackasses!

don't give those rat bastards power over your Mind and Spirit! they can kiss your ass! screw those bums.

some people always have to have some bullshit going on because they're small-minded and can't think of anything else to do with their boring-ass lives

people might look at you as odd because of the way you look, or because of your personality, but don't let that stop you from forging ahead

as Jim Rohn said, you must make yourself more valuable to the people who need you - screw the wackos, the tyrants, the clowns, and the bullies

the people who want to break you down should be the last of your focus unless they can put obstacles in your way or cause you to lose time, money, or energy. and if they can do that, get away from them whenever and however you can

if you have to be around them, teach your mind to deal with them

stand tall and be resilient! don't whine or cry! the hell withem!

learn ways to respond to their wisecracks, bullying, and tyranny

such as silence, Jedi mind tricks, asking questions to distract them, asking questions to make them explain in detail or to run,

realize what options you have and search for more options - ask around

don't stay in that place just for the comfort. if you have a guaranteed safe place to go that will allow you growth and peace of mind, make the move

is there a habit or pleasure or addiction or some form of recreation you need to stop for a while in order to save money

sometimes, you can stand up for yourself and give a bully a cold stare to confirm his strength or weakness

when someone starts to "clown around" too much or become too playful, cut that shit short early on. let them know you don't play immature games and that you mean business. don't be so cold but don't laugh it off either or they may keep it up

size matters to a lot of people. if you have to workout and buff-up or tone to shake them up a little bit, do it

if you have to learn martial arts or hand-to-hand combat, to feel more confident - do it

often, your body language and movements and the walk you walk affect whether people challenge you or not. if you walk and move with uncertainty or doubt, you may end up being a target

if you act clueless, you may end up being a target

you must walk with confidence and certainty to keep away mischief but, it may also get you more attention

if your walk is menacing, you may not be challenged but you may be unapproachable

your attitude must always be positive to keep people from affecting you emotionally

remind people that torment you that God will punish them - even if you're an atheist

remind people what goes around comes around or that bad karma will catch up with them one day

remind evil-doers to change their ways before it's too late - let them know that the time is at hand (time for you to whip some ass if they keep it up)

if you have a style that you're proud of and you're enjoying life and getting what you want out of it, screw what other people think - "DO You"

if you think you might need a style makeover to help improve certain aspects of your life such as your love life, or job, then go for it. but, i would start small and not extreme

learn to be self-sufficient so that you don't have to depend on those jackasses and jerks for anything

build your circle of friends so that you can have somewhere to go and chill to get away from the stress and frustration. if you can't get away, learn a new hobby or interest or fixation that will help you take your mind off of the mess you're in

take care of your mind and emotions so that you do not fall in love too easily. if you meet someone, get to know him or her well as friends, then companions, and if it builds from there, so be it. this is the natural order anyway.

don't rush into anything at this time, because your heart and mind could be longing for the love you're not getting and looking for an escape from your current situation. so, you might not choose wisely. OR, you might rush in and scare the person off. OR, you might be making a big deal out of nothing and end up with a broken heart.

furthermore, don't GIVE people a reason to doubt you or to interrogate you. Don't talk down about yourself or be too humble. when problems arise, it might look like you're to blame. OR, people will use you as a scapegoat. so, it will become a habit that you don't need to have around certain people. these people might take your kindness for weakness

Don't think about or mention failure! Be Fierce! Be Ferocious! Enjoy the competition! Work hard to succeed! Work hard to Win!

And, stay on the go! Keep making moves that benefit your life or that take you closer to a life of love and self-sufficiency.

you don't want to be dependent on an asshole for anything! he or she will constantly try to dominate your life, make you weak, and keep you down.

keep looking to build your allies, strength, wisdom, education, skills, and resources. plan, and get the hell away from there as soon as you can.

end of notes

Notes - Suicide Is Not The Answer To Your Problems In Life - 2

A few notes I've been wanting to post sparked by a friend on Yahoo Answers...

Why Suicide is NOT the answer to your problems:

first of all, you MIGHT feel as though people would rather have you gone or would miss you but you really don't know.

second, you don't how severe this step you're thinking of taking would torment the ones you love. when we lose someone we love, it hurts really bad and lasts for a long long long time, trust me.

third, you don't know what the future holds or whose life you will touch or who you help in the times to come. you may save dozens of lives or help someone who is also suffering. or, someone less fortunate or someone in desperate need of advice or friendship or kindness.

and, to be loved, you have to be lovable. you have to reach out to people. give of yourself. give of your time, friendship, and advice.

i know from experience that someone loves you or wants to love you - maybe you just haven't met that person yet. give it time.

stop traveling around and around in the same circles and make new friends. they don't have to outgoing people. make friends with nerds or old folks or skaters or christians or whoever. do something new.

don't let your life become monotonous and boring. that only makes things worse.

there are many dimensions to life and learning and teaching and helping. and you can do any part of it you wish if you open your mind and strive for more.

don't let abuse get you down. there are other people who have experienced this and talk about this all the time. they try to help others overcome it. you can do that too.

if you don't want to join in helping others with that, help them with depression. talk about how you've dealt with it and survived it up to this point. if you don't want to talk about that, learn something new or in a similar field like psychology or law - or become a counselor. or, learn to work on cars. or, learn to ride motorcycles. or, write a book. or become a chef. or, learn to bake different kinds of cookies. whatever.

life is an adventure. do what you like but live it up!

Suicide Is Not The Answer To Your Problems In Life

I know Life sucks for a lot of people right now.

There are many people out here going through a lot of B.S. and crap that a lot of us could not imagine.

Some people are haunted by bad memories. Some people are feeling out of place and out of touch with reality. Some people feel like they don't fit in. And, some people are just full of sadness and pain and don't have any idea why.

Maybe you feel all alone...

It's possible that there's some jerk in your life causing you nothing but grief, confusion, and anguish.

Maybe you see no hope in your future.

I won't lie and say that you can conquer these feelings. Some people are surrounded by friends, family members, and lovers, and still feel empty inside.

They've went to doctors and experts and still didn't find a cure.

They've taken medications but to no avail.

Some of them have tried to conquer their issues with "religion" but that didn't help.

I've been one of those people.

I AM one of those people.

I'm tormented by bad memories every day.

I've been depressed for months and years at a time (even before I was a teen).

I've had more "downs" than "ups" in life.

I've thought about "giving up" quite a few times. And, came close several times.

To be honest, I don't know if I'll have those thoughts OR not. I don't know.

But, one thing I DO know is: I see a purpose for my being here.

We all have a purpose for being here. Me. You. Everybody.

And, you shouldn't ruin your purpose in life due to the trials of life.

There will always be obstacles to face and fight - but, that's just how Life is. It's a series of "tests".

Some things in Life test your emotions. Some things in Life test your intellect. Some things in Life test your Inner Strength.

And, it's Not always about conquering these "tests" that makes us stronger. Sometimes it's how we are able to DEAL with these "tests" that makes us stronger - AND WISER.

And, what is the Benefit of this?

To answer this question, we have to "go deep".

We have to look way way waaay out beyond all space and time.

Now, I don't want to give you the impression that I'm trying to sound like some spiritual guru or Jedi Master or something, but, for a moment, I want you to think about your Karma and the wisdom that you possess and WILL possess as you move forward throughout your life.

There are many things you will learn. The knowledge you gain will make you mentally and emotionally and socially and spiritually stronger.

Your instincts about Life will improve and you will be wiser. Wiser than those who will come after you.

Everyday, you are growing, improving, advancing, gaining insight and learning.

Although it doesn't seem like it (because it's a slow process), you are evolving - either mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or socially, or whatever. Some aspect of your life (besides your age) is advancing whether you realize it or not.

Even when we aren't learning more about ourselves or how to conquer Life's issues we are learning Something.

Hell, you might not realize it, but your instincts about Life are improving every single day! Because you're taking in all of your experiences. All that you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.

You're learning from your Senses, Imagination, AND Emotions.

All of this stuff is taking you to a higher level each and every day of your life!

Now, some people might ask: "What the hell good is all of this learning and acquiring wisdom and building Karma if I'm only gonna die one day anyway?"

That's selfish thinking. And, the dumbest shit anyone could ever fix their soup-suckers (lips) to say.

What in the hell do they think they're supposed to do with all of that knowledge, wisdom, learning, and Karma???

You pass it on to the next generation so that they can learn, improve, grow, advance, and pass on what they've learned from you to the next generation!

In this way, the World KEEPS advancing and evolving! And, sooner or later, we'll get rid of all of the nuts and mean-spirited people who don't belong here and the World will be a better place.

But, there's another reason why we're here also (and, why you may be going through the issues in which you're going through).

We don't see things, hear things, and experience things just so that we can sit around and whine and complain and gossip about them. Much of the things we go through in Life (especially our mistakes) are so that we can learn from them and teach others (those who need and seek our help) how to overcome the same situations and troubles. Or, how to avoid the mistakes that WE made.

That's your Purpose in Life as a human being. To learn, to grow, and to give information, knowledge, or wisdom to another! To share some news, or info, or a skill with another person. To Teach! Not only your children but anyone who needs teaching or your guidance about things in Life.

Like:

- how to become successful
- how to make a marriage work
- how to get out of a bad relationship
- how to fight depression
- how to overcome sadness
- how to fish and feed themselves

Whatever!

No matter what you're going through, you can learn to conquer it OR deal with it and teach the next guy or girl how to do the same. This is a benefit because you will help yourself in the process.

When this girl or guy comes for your help, You will discover changes in your OWN life that need to be made. You will start to see certain mistakes that you are making that you haven't seen before. You will be more aware of traps and pitfalls that keep tripping you up and causing you to experience grief and drama. Your confidence will also move to higher levels as your knowledge, wisdom, and instincts continue to grow.

Don't let a bad relationship get you down.

Don't let "new chapters" in Life confuse you or the passing of Time break your heart.

Don't let these mean men and women drive you insane.

Don't let a bad economy or lack of money break your spirit.

Keep Moving!

Realize what is REALLY important in Life and you will Learn to overcome your "tests" in Life.

Help others and You will also help yourself.

- loveqna

5 Ways "NEGLECT" Can Cause A Man Or Woman To Cheat

I know I promised weeks ago that I would post "50 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat" without delay, but my mind (brain)... Ugh! It makes me sick to my stomach.

I have so many ideas and plans and things that I want to do (and COULD do)... PLUS! Things that I SHOULD do (and NEED to do), that all of this crap floating around inside my skull makes my life a living hell. I'm sick of it.

Honestly, it's been bugging me that I haven't finished this list, so tonight, I'm gonna go all out.

But, let me warn you...

I might not go into detail so you will have to use your instincts and read between the lines on some of this stuff.

I'm also gonna do a "recap" later on just to make sure we have all fifty reasons laid and played. (laid down and played out)

Okay, let's first start by recognizing some of the needs that can be neglected:

- Emotional Needs

- Physical Needs (we actually covered this under "Why Men and Women Cheat For Sex")

- Sexual Needs (we covered this one too)

- Social Needs (this is the bulk of it)

- Spiritual Needs (this has nothing to do with religion but I'm not going to address this one until later on)

And there are other needs but it's best to cover those later on as well.

Well hell. I guess the others I can cover later on also so let's just jump into the article...

Now, I know a lot of you have heard the widespread myth that states "men cheat for sex and women cheat only when they're neglected". It's been going around for God only knows how long.

Well, I'm here to tell you flat out: That's the biggest bullsh*t ever said about cheating. That ain't NEVER been true. It wasn't true a million years ago and it ain't true now.

Now, don't get me wrong. There have been women who have cheated when they've felt neglected but we all know that hasn't been the ONLY reason women have cheated. We all know there are (and have been; and WILL be) some "loose women" - who are in committed relationships - running around out here in these streets. Anybody that doesn't know it has got to be young and experienced or been living under a damn rock all their life.

On the flip-side, there are MEN out here who cheat because of Neglect also.

A lot of women don't believe it but let me show you why it's true.

Now, I'm not gonna lie and say that these men are cheating because of EMOTIONAL neglect, but men DO get lonely. Men DO get restless and need human interaction. SOME men DO miss their woman when she's away for long periods of time.

A lot of women think men are part of another species and don't have feelings, but men are human too.

Everybody needs a little attention every now and then.

Men need companionship just like a woman needs companionship.

Men need someone to talk to every now and then just like a woman needs someone to talk to every now and then.

Sometimes a man wants to feel his woman in his arms and look into her eyes.

Sometimes HE needs someone to talk to or laugh with.

I'm a guy just like Jesse James (the celeb-actor who cheated on Sandra Bullock). And, I know if I had a fine-ass wife like Sandra Bullock who was on the road all the time working and traveling, and rarely ever saw her, don't you think I'd be lonely sometimes and miss her and crave affection from her? Or, a goodnight kiss every now and then???

I'd be lovesick and frustrated.

Some people need that human interaction EVERY NIGHT (or day, or at least on a regular basis or the emptiness will drive them nuts). And, if their lover can't be there and satisfy their needs, those "lonely" neglected weasels might cheat.

That's why it's rare that long-distance relationships work. Some people need that human experience.

Even Military Families and Couples have to deal with this "test of love". Sometimes the civilian spouse cheats. Sometimes the military spouse cheats.

Sometimes a person's needs can be overwhelming. And, when those needs (or desires) are neglected, the neglected lover might turn to cheating or some other interest to fill the void and ease the frustration.

It's not right but it's a tough position to be in for someone who's lonely feels something is missing from his or her life.

The only way to thwart this evil situation is by checking yourself. You know when you're not spending enough time with your mate. If you two are in a long-distance relationship, use your instincts and recognize when you need to step your game up. When you notice your partner's level of enthusiasm or affection is dropping off, show him or her a little more attention:

Be flirtatious

Give him or her a kiss

Give him or her a hug

Go out

Give the poor slob a compliment

Use your instincts. You know what to do. Show him or her that you're grateful to have such a person your life.

Okay, now here are the "5 Ways NEGLECT Can Cause A Man Or Woman To Cheat":

1. If one partner is always busy with work, or school, or church, or his or her group activities, or hanging out with friends, or always running errands, etc., and doesn't take out "enough" time for his or her partner, this might cause the "neglected" partner's eyes (or heart) to wander.

But, even if the "neglected" partner's eyes don't wander, too much free time could allow an admirer to sneak in and charm and seduce the so-called "neglected" mate.

2. One partner doesn't care or seems uninterested in the relationship.

Not spending "Quality Time" with your mate can be neglectful. This is social neglect. Talking on the phone and texting and emailing is okay but a lot of people don't like being stuck in the house all by themselves all the time. They want to talk to their lover sometimes. They want a hug sometimes. They want to go out with their mate sometimes - even if it's to the grocery store or Wal-Mart. And, for most people (especially women), you'd better do a lot better than the damn grocery store or Wal-Mart. But, some people need that human interaction and affection. And, If their mate won't provide it, the relationship will get dull. And, it might get rough.

3. One partner doesn't care or seems uninterested in the relationship making the other partner feel unloved, unwanted, ugly, or worthless. This is why some people turn to their Internet Friends for communication and worth. Or accidentally find Love on the Net.

It doesn't matter how young you are or old you get, all of us need to feel important to someone in our lives - especially to our love-mates, children, friends, and family. We don't want to be involved with someone who ignores us or who doesn't want to talk or who's sour and pessimistic. We want someone we can talk to and have fun with and make love to. We should be loving and enjoying Life everyday! Right???

So, this is also social neglect AND emotional neglect. But, in this case, you could be right in the same house with the person and he or she hardly ever speaks to you besides a grunt here and there - like HE doesn't want to be disturbed from watching his TV show or working on some personal chores. Or, she's so glued to the TV and always on her cellphone yappin' with her friends that it seems pointless to discuss anything with her. And, when she's not talking to her friends or family members or watching TV, she's running around complaining (nagging you) about something and trying to find something for you to do.

It's funny how these "grunters" and "yappers" have egos and treat their mates like trolls when it's the grunters and yappers that desperately need the makeovers and help with their style and/or appearance.

People in this situation REALLY hate being involved with their mate. And eventually, neither one wants to be bothered with the other. Cheating (or one person thinking about cheating) is common in this type of relationship.

4. The neglected partner doesn't feel like he or she is a part of his or her mates life.

The mate may do a lot of things in secret or even whisper or talk in code in front of his or her mate.

The mate may be spending more time with his or her children, or family members, or friends than he or she is spending with the lover. Giving them more attention than he or she is giving to the relationship.

Because of this, the neglected mate is not able to bond with his or her lover to the point where they can move to deeper levels in the relationship.

Eventually, the partner who feels neglected and left out will drift away and possibly hook-up with someone new.

5. Lack of Contact.

If you're a waffler or a struggling entrepreneur or "trying to get focused" or trying to get over depression, then more than likely, you've been in a relationship in which you've not called your girlfriend or boyfriend for days or weeks at a time. Some people will tolerate it for a while (as you know). But, those that can't will eventually lose interest and find someone else.

Some of you get angry and resort to drastic measures to keep the person or to get revenge, but why get angry at this person when you KNOW you're the one who's neglecting the relationship??? Yeah, it's wrong for him or her to cheat and scandalous that he or she would abandon you in your time of need, but it's best to let him or her go. This may not be the person for you anyway if he or she can't understand what you're going through mentally and emotionally - even though you've tried to explain it to him or her a thousand times.

He or she may be just like some of your relatives and friends, and NEVER really know you or understand you. Rather than get upset and waste your time, energy, money, and emotions, let that guy or girl go until you get yourself together and get back on track. And, if you two can make-up and work things out afterwards, then so be it. If not, "there are plenty more fish in the sea".

If you're a Struggling entrepreneur or someone who's been struggling with "trying to get focused", you might do better to invest in yourself, your education, or search for a good-paying job so that you don't miss out on a good man or good woman. The longer you wait on Love, the more opportunities pass you by.

Time flies, Life moves at a fast pace, and people have short attention spans, so there will always be "distractions" or obligations that will cause one partner (or both partners) to neglect the relationship.

And for those who live with their mate, it's hard as hell to find balance in all of this stuff in our lives.

I don't wanna scare you single folks but when you have to juggle YOUR life, your kids life, your work, time with your mate, worry about your appearance and sex-appeal, keep track of bills and expenses, spend time with your friends and lover and others, and make sure your house is in order and running properly, something or someone is bound to get neglected.

All of this stuff IS your life and it's a serious work-out. You've got to have ESP, more hands than octopus, be a diplomat, move faster than lightning, and stay on the move. You've got to be superwoman or a superman in order NOT TO NEGLECT someone or something.

That's why you see a lot of ladies out here give-up on their dreams. They become moms or devoted lovers and go with what's most important in their lives. They focus their attention on the people they care about so that they don't feel neglected and so that they can pursue their dreams and goals. They hit that point in their lives where the "Reality check" light comes on and they let go of many of their desires and make room for their new Priorities.

I've even seen guys give-up their dreams of stardom to devote their lives to their new wife and kids. Sometimes it's a good thing. Sometimes that's what a scrub or a lame guy needs to get his life on track - some real responsibilities.

Well, that's it.

I know I've rambled and I've made this post longer than I planned, but I can't help it. I'll just have to try harder next time. Or, just read a little bit here and there. You don't have to read all of this crap in one sitting. Take it easy.

- loveqna

Is Depression Ruining Your Love-Life?

Besides mosquitos, cockroaches, social animosity, and violence, Depression is high on the list of the things I hate. And, I know you must hate it too...

I hate on Depression because Depression ruins a lot of lives and relationships. Not only does it have the ability to turn you against YOURSELF. It can turn you against your family and friends, and it can turn your family and friends against you.

I can't stand it. Why do we even HAVE this emotion in psychological inventory?

Lots of things can cause Depression. My belief is: it depends on the person, his or her perspective of life, his or her perspective of social situations, and how he or she deals with social and personal situations. And don't forgot about including his or her habits and addictions. These things can play a part in a person's overall mood and vibe too.

I don't want to sound like some kind of quack or guru because I'm not. I'm just trying to learn as much about it as possible and pass on any information or references I think might be helpful in the fight against it.

I've had to fight it. I think more than a third of the world is dealing with it on a day-to-day basis. But, that is only personal speculation. I don't have any stats or survey results based on this. But, let me tell you why I believe this...

When I look at all of the news and reports about divorces, break-ups, infidelity, people struggling with long-distance relationships or military deployment, domestic violence, homicide-suicide deaths, and suicides - not to mention all of the other crap and fears we have to deal with - I can't help but wonder just how bad Depression REALLY is in our World right now.

There's a lot of people walking around here in a daze, right now, suffering from Depression because they feel they have no one to talk to about it. They know it's something people would rather sweep under the rug and not talk about because everyone has their own issues they're dealing with. So, they have to try to deal with it the best that they can. And, it's a struggle. Some of them carry this dark cloud around inside of them for years and years, trying to fight it or at least get out from up under it every once and a while, but it's tough.

What makes it worse is when none of your friends, or family members, or your spouse, seems to care. All they care about is that you "snap out of it" and "get on with your life". "Stop whining and do what you need to do to survive". And, sadly, for the most part, they're right. They don't understand what you're going through, but they're right.

We can't let Depression conquer us or make us stagnant or keep us from doing what we have to do to live. Other people - friends and family included - may give up on us, but we can't give up on ourselves. We can't lay around in a daze and depend on them to make our lives better or to support us for years while we're in a state of despair or feeling that Life is pointless. We have to get out and make moves and try to find a way to overcome this darkness and bitterness that we feel towards ourselves and/or Life.

We all know that Depression can keep you down, but we have to fight it and press onward. That's our main purpose in Life: To grow, elevate, and continue to move forward; To enjoy Life and the good times with all of the other people we love and care about.

But, how do we fight it and get back on track to enjoying The Good Life?

First, find the cause...

* Is it something or some THINGS that you fear?

* Is it something you want to get or achieve that you can't?

* Is it a fear of some future event?

* Is it something you wish you could change?

* Do you feel stuck in a situation and see no way out?

* Could it be your diet?

* Could it be your environment or surroundings?

* Is it the bad vibes of other people affecting you?

What is it?

Think about what it is that depresses you and KNOW exactly why it depresses you. Then, consider your options.

What can you do to change this situation?

What can you do to avoid a bad outcome?

And, if you can't avoid it, how can you deal with it when the time comes?

IF the time comes?

Since we can't predict the future so we don't know what will really happen. There may be an unexpected blessing.

If it's a past event, I know it's hard to forget. Hell, I'm dealing with past situations in my head every day of my Life. Sometimes, every few hours. Sometimes, every hour. And, if you're dealing with demons in the same fashion, I know those thoughts can last for several minutes or much much longer. But, there's nothing you can do about the past. That time is gone. The only thing you can do about it right now is pray and try to change what you CAN change today to make things better later on down the road. If there is nothing you do to redeem yourself, all you can do is pray about it and let it go. Ask forgiveness to whomever you need to ask it, and move on. You might not EVER forget what happened, but you can't let it break your spirit.

Some of us harbor past events while other people have moved on and forgotten all about them. There may be other people you want to get back at for doing you wrong, but if you can't, f*ck it. Don't let their evil ways destroy you inside. You might not ever forget, but you have to move on.

Sometimes Depression is caused by something we want or need but can't get or don't know how to get. I've asked a few people about this and do you know how they conquered this type of Depression? They gave up. Some of them just said the hell with whatever they were trying to get their hands on and settled for whatever they had at the moment. I'll be honest with you, I don't like that kind of thinking, BUT... some things in Life really aren't important enough to be worth stressing over. But, if you're like me and stubborn (I'm an Aries) and have to have whatever it is your heart desires, don't sit around worried about how you're going to get it. Make moves. Learn. Study. Travel. Develop connections. Make phone calls. Do whatever you have to do to improve your chances of getting what you want and need.

There's one important fact that I didn't realize until someone pointed it out to me and that was: Foods, what we drink, and our overall diet can affect our mood, drive, energy level, thinking, and ability to focus - just like vitamins, drugs, or drinks. So, think about changing or enhancing your diet and what you ingest.

The bad vibes of other people and your environment can also affect your drive, how you feel about yourself, and how you feel about life. I'm sure you know this, but step back and take a close look. What can you change to improve your environment? How can you deal with the bad vibes of othe people or block out the B.S. they throw your way?

Another thing you could do to fight Depression is to learn it, study, and help other people that might be suffering from it. Become a counselor or communicate with others in forums or on YouTube or start a blog about it. But, do it ONLY if you're passionate about it. Don't go that far if you're not ready for the responsibility and demands that go along with it. When people open up to me about their issues or problems, I listen and offer my opinions sometimes, but sometimes - they just want to vent or talk, so I let them do that too.

The final thing you could do is see a reputable therapist. I know. Many of us don't want to deal with doctors because we don't want to take medications that might make us sick or worse off than we already are. And we don't want to go to a doctor or mental health institution and have that "mental health" issue on our record. I know how you feel. It's scary to think that if we go to a clinic or something that we'll be labeled "crazy" or have to disclose to the world that we suffered from mental health issues in our past. But, on the upside, seeing a therapist IS supposed to be fashionable these days...

This is not an invitation to follow in my footsteps, BUT...

I'm holding out for as long as I can.

Some people suffer from forms of Depression that can't be explained. Maybe it's hereditary or has something to do with their genes or due to a traumatic experience, but it's sad that there's no real cure. I was at a party once and saw this guy who just grumbled like he was angry about something. I thought he was rappin' or something under his breath. You know some rap music has got some pretty angry lyrics, so I thought he was rappin'. Unfortunately, the hostess - which was a friend and his guardian - told us that he witnessed his friend get shot by a stray bullet and it traumatized him. So, for years, he had been like that. They tried giving him medication and therapy, but he won't snap out of it. He'll do everything she tells him to do and when she told him to stop making that noise, he stopped. But then he's moving around like he's not sure where to go, or he stares "out" with this blank look on his face. It's scary. And sad. I had to keep my eyes on him. I wasn't about to let him get the jump on me, Jack.

Ultimately, I don't think it's wise to sit alone in one place too long and think. Try to do things that make you happy. Do things that improve your life or that are fun. Participate in hobbies or interests that require you to use your mind to calculate and keep your awareness level kind of high. Exercise or run.

Take a look at one my past issues on How To Get Over A Break-Up. There are a few suggestions near the end of that post of a few things that can take your mind off of your troubles.

Now, like I said (and you know), I'm no expert. These are only my personal opinions. But, I offer them because I know that Depression can hurt relationships and cause arguments and drama. You could be hurting deep down and nobody would give a rats ass. All they want you to do is snap out of it and move on. Deal with it the best you can, and get help if you need to, and if your friends and lover doesn't think enough of you to try to help you, then after you cure your Depression, it may be time for you to cure yourself of that problem too.

- loveqna