How To Get Over A Break Up

I remember the very first time I got dumped...

I was literally in a daze. My mind was blank. I didn't know WHAT I was going to do next. I was in a state of disbelief. I felt broken and defeated. My ego was shattered also.

Her name was Charlene.

No matter what I tried to say to regain this girl's love, make her stay with me, and feel the way she felt when we first met - and no matter how much I begged - she just kept saying "No." And although my mind raced to search for something romantic to say to make her swoon and accept my apologies, I just couldn't find the right combination of words. So, I lost her.

I felt empty inside knowing that my next minutes, hours, and days would be spent without the girl whose personality, style, and companionship, I admired and was more than happy to endure.

Let me tell you how it happened...

I cared about this girl so much that I didn't want to seem clingy or intrusive. I wanted her to want me as much as I enjoyed being with her. She was a senior in high school. I was a freshman. She had more mature friends. Most of my friends were in the 10th grade. So, I thought it would please her to spend a little more time with her friends - people she had more in common with - than hanging with me all the time in the mornings before school and during lunch. But, I was wrong.

Usually, I walked her to her classes, but one day, she didn't wait for me. When I caught up with her, she was already in one of her classes, standing near her desk putting some of those girly hair comb things in her hair. She didn't even acknowledge me when I walked into the room. I knew something was wrong but I went in for a kiss anyway.

REJECTED.

She left my lips hanging like a pair of old sagging "boobs".

This was definitely not a good sign. And, she told me what was up...

She felt I was ignoring her and she was sick of it. She even said I embarrassed her a few times because there were times when she was with her friends that were with their boyfriends and girlfriends and she was alone. Then, there were times when she said she was waiting for me and I didn't show up. And, times she called me or waited for me to call and she didn't hear from me. So, she felt I didn't care. I hated that I did that - even to this day. But, I was practically new to the game of romance as this was my first serious "serious relationship". I had girlfriends before, but never a Relationship like this.

It was over and there was nothing I could do about it. Those last moments stayed stuck in my head for years.

That's how it is with break-ups and people you care about. The pain can last for a long time.

I had other "options" I could've taken, but for a while, I was completely "out of my mind". I didn't want anyone else. I wasn't interested in anyone else. I didn't want to do anything else. And, for a long time, I was just drifting along.

This chick had me hooked.

I was borderline depressed (or possibly completely depressed) and I didn't know it.

You see, there's a lot of things ("benefits") you lose when you suffer a break-up with someone - whether it's mutual or they break-up with you. Things like:

* Friendship and someone to feel close to
* Friendship and someone who understands you
* Someone to share your opinions, personal experiences, and secrets with
* Someone to share your observations and ideas with
* Someone to laugh and joke with
* Going on dates or chillin' with someone who enjoy the same things you do
* Someone to kiss
* Someone to hold and hold you
* Someone you can talk to about the drama you're having to deal with
* Being with someone you think is attractive - or beautiful - inside and out
* etc.

Some people don't think about all those things you'll miss when they tell you to "get over it and move on", because many of them don't HAVE that in their relationship. All they have is lies, dates, and/or sex. They turn to their buddies for all of their intimate feelings and quality time.

Many people say: "Time heals all wounds." Man... That's bullsh*t. Some things you don't get over. Some things, you don't forget. Sometimes "Time" only prolongs the pain. The only TRUE statement is: "Only Time will tell if you've gotten over the person or not."

The only thing you can do is be strong, man-up, go on with your life, and take what you've from the experience into your next relationship and hope that you don't make the same mistakes twice.

But, I wouldn't whine about it if I did. And, you shouldn't either.

When you meet the RIGHT ONE - your SoulMate - you'll straighten up and get your act together so that you don't screw-up, trust me. Those negative experiences will come back to you instinctively and keep your ass out of trouble and on the right track. So, go through the emotions and pain, but keep on living. You'll get it right eventually - and at the right time.

Each one of us has MANY "options" for Love or a romantic connection. They'e out there. And as you continue to live, you will have even MORE "options". Better "options". True, it depends on timing. But, it also depends on your willingness to go after those "options". There are MANY people that you have a chance of dating and getting to know - no matter HOW you look, what you have (or DON'T have), or what your personality is like. You just have to keep living and loving life. When people see you enjoying Life, they want to be a part of your experience. So, the opportunities for love are out there. It just depends on You.

Now, I'm not gonna leave you hanging...

Let me tell you how you can get over a break-up. And, this is easy.

Listen...

If you can click a mouse, there are websites, videos, articles, blogs, and forums dedicated to providing information to help you out. If you're lazy or just don't want to go through the hassle of googling, here's a list below.

But, don't expect it to be anything spectacular! I'll mix my flavors in later.

The Main Theme in all of those advice columns and videos is: Get Busy. Don't sit around thinking about the break-up. "Work on improving Yourself."

Here's what you can do to get over a broken heart or a break-up:

* Learn Survival Skills.

* Diet and Exercise.

* Find a new interest or dig deeper into one you've already thought about.

* Get out of the house more and do anything exciting and fun!

* Work more or find a new fulfilling job.

* Go back to school and study hard.

* Socialize with more people.

* Read more books on improving your romantic skills.

* Volunteer.

* Organize an event.

* Learn to dance.

* Learn to play an intrument.

* Study astronomy.

* Spend more time with friends and family members.

* learn to play a sport.

* Learn karate or judo or self-defense.

* Go on more dates.

* Learn to act for plays.

* Write a book.

* Produce a few videos. Maybe even talk about your experience and gain closure.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SIT AROUND ALONE FOR TOO LONG OR YOU'LL START TO THINK AND THINK AND THINK ABOUT IT.

This will only make you more miserable and possibly cause a deep depression - something NO ONE needs to have in their life. And, who knows... It may be a blessing in disguise.

- loveqna