I don't know how I ended up here, but it's funny as hell...
Video provided by - Punchbear
- loveqna
"Zip It Up, and Zip It Out."
"How To Be 'Just Friends' With A Hot Chick"
Some people fall in love (or lust) with their friends and want to date them, or have sex with them, or have a romantic relationship with them. Sometimes it works out to the good. Sometimes it can be the worst mistake of your life.
I know some of your mouths may be watering like hell from admiring some of that fine booty of a friend who's hotter than "all get-out", but you have restrain yourself so that you don't go down a treacherous path.
When you're friends with a nice guy or nice girl, much of the time, you'll do a little extra to show you're a good friend. You'll put up with idiosyncrosies, bad habits, poor personality traits, certain social skills that irritate you, and their complaints. You'll even avoid arguing about their opinions versus your beliefs. You'll empathize with each other. Do favors for each other that you won't even do for your own family members.
Since this is your Best Friend (or Close Friend), you'll do whatever possible not to ruin the relationship. But, once you hook-up...
Most, if not All, of that sh*t goes out the window.
The person who was once your Best Friend but who's now your lover, will start to "bug" you and get on your nerves. He or she will start talking out the ass. He or she gets lazy as hell and never wants to go anywhere or do anything fun. He or she starts to ignore you and often is yappin' on the phone with a NEW Best Friend or Close Friend. And you get peeved and perturbed with each other to the point of losing interest and wanting to get away from each other.
And if you have kids and then can't stand each other, forget about it. You might as well kiss your dreams, happiness, and peace of mind goodbye. That chick might make your life a living hell for 18-plus years.
It's a situation very similar to a couple who gets married and hate each other (or have a hard time living with each other) BUT, they make great friends and have lasting friendships - Even after divorce.
So, sometimes it's not the end of the World, but you may have to suffer a little bit.
Some friends just stop talking all together after an intimate encounter. Usually, this is because one of them is turned off by the other one sexually. Or, there's no "Chemistry". And, one friend can't tell the other one he or she sucks in bed or laugh the situation off, so it becomes awkward.
The one friend who's turned off feels awkward/strange because he or she has to reject the other and that's what make things even more complicated. When the rejecting friend feels like this, he or she will completely avoid the other friend. They may have a conversation or two afterwards, but usually, the friendship just fades away.
If you're thinking about dating a close friend or a roommate, don't jump in right away. Take your time and get to know him or her first. Learn to control them hormones and look out for bullsh*t and foolishness that you KNOW will piss you off in the long run if you ever decided to hook-up with this person.
After you become a true friend and you're able to "tell it like is" and be straight-up and honest with each other in all matters and situations without "falling-out" or getting angry, THEN you may be ready for a more intimate relationship. But, only if you can also laugh, have fun, and be turned-on by each other mentally, physically (of course), and even spiritually. Having a spiritual connection - not necessarily a religious connection - is the bomb, trust me.
But, work on the friendship first.
You know, Some people will be "friends" with you ONLY if they believe they have a shot at being in a relationship with you.
Some people get attached to their friends because their friends treat them with respect and take an interest in them.
Some people are attracted to their best friend because the Best Friend has a great personality, or he or she is intelligent or suave and stylish, or just plain cute and sexy.
Once "the seed is planted", it's hard to conquer the desire.
So, before you start swooning and going "gah-gah" over a hot honey dip who's supposed to be good friend, take a look at these suggestions, have patience and reserve, and no matter what happens, if you took your time and thought the situation through, at least you will have made a good decision either way it goes.
REMEMBER: 90 Percent of it is mental. Self control is the key to a grander life.
All right. Here we go...
When you feel yourself fantasizing about her, do Something Else that doesn't include masturbation or looking at OTHER Hot Chicks. Run some errands, go to the store, mow the lawn, trim hedges, or create a list: "10 Things I Hate About You".
Search for another Hot Chick to admire and swoon over.
Never mention her or talk about her unless you're using her as a reference, an example, or telling a story.
If anyone asks "what's up with you two", reiterate the fact that you're "just friends" or "roommates". Let it be known that you think of this chick as a sweet girl and nothing more. If a relationship develops later on down the road, good. If not, that's okay too.
Don't ogle her or admire her "assets" when she's not looking. You'll only make yourself hornier and more frustrated. Plus, one day she might catch you and realize what a pervert you really are.
Don't help her groom or pamper her. If she asks you to help her wash her hair or massage her back or feet, just say "no". Tell her you're tired or that your back is aching and you can't bend. Or, tell her that you don't know how. Don't do anything that might turn you on and ruin your friendship.
Become a eunich. (just kidding - unless you think it'll help)
Don't get drunk together. If the both of you drink, plan in advance to stay on "your side" of the room (front room, family room, game room, den, whatever). If she crosses the line, go get a snack or something to munch on. When you come back, sit in another chair, go pee, or wash your face, or go to bed. She may be as horny as a wildcat so you must avoid her or she will eat you for lunch.
Consider the repercussions of your actions. After a hardy romp in the sack, she will change towards you. And it might not be a good thing. You will see her in a different light. She won't be same sweet ray of sunshine you had for a friend. She will be a jerk. And eventually, she will ruin your life. These are just thoughts now. Trick the Mind. Keep the friendship. Don't hate on the woman for real.
Okay...
Remember: She doesn't look "hot" all the time. Take notice of her those days when she turns you off and disgusts you too. If you criticize out loud, be playful. And, don't take yourself or the situation too seriously. It's great when we can let our hair down, chill, and be bummy for a day.
If you're both sitting on the same couch/sofa watching TV and YOU get bored, the best thing you could do is leave the room. Even better: go to sleep. Why? I don't know but whenever two people are sitting around in the dark watching TV and they get bored with the show, horny-ness starts to creep in and they somehow end up in "steamy" "no-holds-barred" situations. Sometimes, butt-naked.
Don't get involved with her emotionally. Avoid conversations about relationships or issues she's having with her dates or prospects. If she traps you and you HAVE to talk about stuff like that, don't feel sorry for her or get too emotional when you comfort her. This can lead to an immediate kiss and intimacy. Or, it will break down the wall/barrier you've built-up and you'll be more susceptible to "falling in love".
Be effeminate. (i'm just kiddin'. But get in touch with your "softer side") Learn how to enjoy gossiping and talking about soap operas and other dramatic TV shows and all of the people and funny situations at work. Learn to talk about ailments and fashion. Don't be afraid to give your opinion about style. Be supportive of female causes - if they're fair and not full of propaganda. Learn how to be enthusiastic and how to hug without getting a boner (just kiddin' again). But, I'm sure you get the point.
There's more I could say, but I hate to go ON and ON and ramble.
The gist of it all is: Keep sex, fantasies, and fetishes out of your Mind when it comes to a friend. Zip it up and Zip it out.
Remember: This is only a Test... This test in Life is a challenge of your inner strength and will-power. If you can "survive" and conquer this test, you will have a lot more female friends, more options, and an even hotter chick to call your own. And You will have better relationships with women like many other guys out here. Some have scores of good relationships with women on a platonic level.
It may take a little time, but you can be the same way and eventually be a great catch for the "Girl Of Your Dreams".
Rationale: You will be more relaxed around women, gentler with women, more understanding of female issues, a sweeter person, more sociable with women, and have more meaningful (deeper) conversations with all - men and women.
And the best part is...
You'll be single. So, you won't feel guilty about looking at all of that OTHER hot fine tender booty out there.
- loveqna
Some people fall in love (or lust) with their friends and want to date them, or have sex with them, or have a romantic relationship with them. Sometimes it works out to the good. Sometimes it can be the worst mistake of your life.
I know some of your mouths may be watering like hell from admiring some of that fine booty of a friend who's hotter than "all get-out", but you have restrain yourself so that you don't go down a treacherous path.
When you're friends with a nice guy or nice girl, much of the time, you'll do a little extra to show you're a good friend. You'll put up with idiosyncrosies, bad habits, poor personality traits, certain social skills that irritate you, and their complaints. You'll even avoid arguing about their opinions versus your beliefs. You'll empathize with each other. Do favors for each other that you won't even do for your own family members.
Since this is your Best Friend (or Close Friend), you'll do whatever possible not to ruin the relationship. But, once you hook-up...
Most, if not All, of that sh*t goes out the window.
The person who was once your Best Friend but who's now your lover, will start to "bug" you and get on your nerves. He or she will start talking out the ass. He or she gets lazy as hell and never wants to go anywhere or do anything fun. He or she starts to ignore you and often is yappin' on the phone with a NEW Best Friend or Close Friend. And you get peeved and perturbed with each other to the point of losing interest and wanting to get away from each other.
And if you have kids and then can't stand each other, forget about it. You might as well kiss your dreams, happiness, and peace of mind goodbye. That chick might make your life a living hell for 18-plus years.
It's a situation very similar to a couple who gets married and hate each other (or have a hard time living with each other) BUT, they make great friends and have lasting friendships - Even after divorce.
So, sometimes it's not the end of the World, but you may have to suffer a little bit.
Some friends just stop talking all together after an intimate encounter. Usually, this is because one of them is turned off by the other one sexually. Or, there's no "Chemistry". And, one friend can't tell the other one he or she sucks in bed or laugh the situation off, so it becomes awkward.
The one friend who's turned off feels awkward/strange because he or she has to reject the other and that's what make things even more complicated. When the rejecting friend feels like this, he or she will completely avoid the other friend. They may have a conversation or two afterwards, but usually, the friendship just fades away.
If you're thinking about dating a close friend or a roommate, don't jump in right away. Take your time and get to know him or her first. Learn to control them hormones and look out for bullsh*t and foolishness that you KNOW will piss you off in the long run if you ever decided to hook-up with this person.
After you become a true friend and you're able to "tell it like is" and be straight-up and honest with each other in all matters and situations without "falling-out" or getting angry, THEN you may be ready for a more intimate relationship. But, only if you can also laugh, have fun, and be turned-on by each other mentally, physically (of course), and even spiritually. Having a spiritual connection - not necessarily a religious connection - is the bomb, trust me.
But, work on the friendship first.
You know, Some people will be "friends" with you ONLY if they believe they have a shot at being in a relationship with you.
Some people get attached to their friends because their friends treat them with respect and take an interest in them.
Some people are attracted to their best friend because the Best Friend has a great personality, or he or she is intelligent or suave and stylish, or just plain cute and sexy.
Once "the seed is planted", it's hard to conquer the desire.
So, before you start swooning and going "gah-gah" over a hot honey dip who's supposed to be good friend, take a look at these suggestions, have patience and reserve, and no matter what happens, if you took your time and thought the situation through, at least you will have made a good decision either way it goes.
REMEMBER: 90 Percent of it is mental. Self control is the key to a grander life.
All right. Here we go...
When you feel yourself fantasizing about her, do Something Else that doesn't include masturbation or looking at OTHER Hot Chicks. Run some errands, go to the store, mow the lawn, trim hedges, or create a list: "10 Things I Hate About You".
Search for another Hot Chick to admire and swoon over.
Never mention her or talk about her unless you're using her as a reference, an example, or telling a story.
If anyone asks "what's up with you two", reiterate the fact that you're "just friends" or "roommates". Let it be known that you think of this chick as a sweet girl and nothing more. If a relationship develops later on down the road, good. If not, that's okay too.
Don't ogle her or admire her "assets" when she's not looking. You'll only make yourself hornier and more frustrated. Plus, one day she might catch you and realize what a pervert you really are.
Don't help her groom or pamper her. If she asks you to help her wash her hair or massage her back or feet, just say "no". Tell her you're tired or that your back is aching and you can't bend. Or, tell her that you don't know how. Don't do anything that might turn you on and ruin your friendship.
Become a eunich. (just kidding - unless you think it'll help)
Don't get drunk together. If the both of you drink, plan in advance to stay on "your side" of the room (front room, family room, game room, den, whatever). If she crosses the line, go get a snack or something to munch on. When you come back, sit in another chair, go pee, or wash your face, or go to bed. She may be as horny as a wildcat so you must avoid her or she will eat you for lunch.
Consider the repercussions of your actions. After a hardy romp in the sack, she will change towards you. And it might not be a good thing. You will see her in a different light. She won't be same sweet ray of sunshine you had for a friend. She will be a jerk. And eventually, she will ruin your life. These are just thoughts now. Trick the Mind. Keep the friendship. Don't hate on the woman for real.
Okay...
Remember: She doesn't look "hot" all the time. Take notice of her those days when she turns you off and disgusts you too. If you criticize out loud, be playful. And, don't take yourself or the situation too seriously. It's great when we can let our hair down, chill, and be bummy for a day.
If you're both sitting on the same couch/sofa watching TV and YOU get bored, the best thing you could do is leave the room. Even better: go to sleep. Why? I don't know but whenever two people are sitting around in the dark watching TV and they get bored with the show, horny-ness starts to creep in and they somehow end up in "steamy" "no-holds-barred" situations. Sometimes, butt-naked.
Don't get involved with her emotionally. Avoid conversations about relationships or issues she's having with her dates or prospects. If she traps you and you HAVE to talk about stuff like that, don't feel sorry for her or get too emotional when you comfort her. This can lead to an immediate kiss and intimacy. Or, it will break down the wall/barrier you've built-up and you'll be more susceptible to "falling in love".
Be effeminate. (i'm just kiddin'. But get in touch with your "softer side") Learn how to enjoy gossiping and talking about soap operas and other dramatic TV shows and all of the people and funny situations at work. Learn to talk about ailments and fashion. Don't be afraid to give your opinion about style. Be supportive of female causes - if they're fair and not full of propaganda. Learn how to be enthusiastic and how to hug without getting a boner (just kiddin' again). But, I'm sure you get the point.
There's more I could say, but I hate to go ON and ON and ramble.
The gist of it all is: Keep sex, fantasies, and fetishes out of your Mind when it comes to a friend. Zip it up and Zip it out.
Remember: This is only a Test... This test in Life is a challenge of your inner strength and will-power. If you can "survive" and conquer this test, you will have a lot more female friends, more options, and an even hotter chick to call your own. And You will have better relationships with women like many other guys out here. Some have scores of good relationships with women on a platonic level.
It may take a little time, but you can be the same way and eventually be a great catch for the "Girl Of Your Dreams".
Rationale: You will be more relaxed around women, gentler with women, more understanding of female issues, a sweeter person, more sociable with women, and have more meaningful (deeper) conversations with all - men and women.
And the best part is...
You'll be single. So, you won't feel guilty about looking at all of that OTHER hot fine tender booty out there.
- loveqna
I Apologize... One Reason Why Men Cheat
Okay...
First: Let me offer my apologies for the previous post, "Women Are Annoying". I was a little upset. And sleepy. And groggy.
You know I really don't mean ALL women are annoying.
The World is full of some real "Cupcakes" who are sweet, understanding, AND who work just as hard as men do. We all know that. I just flipped out that's all.
But, I've been having bad luck interacting with women lately - my Ex and my roommate. Either Karma or the Devil is making me pay for my past sins and I just lost my cool. So, I apologize for acting like a madman.
But, let me tell you something.
When a woman makes a lot of accusations and false assumptions (that are just plain dumb), it really gets a man steamed up and turns him off.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who constantly says things that don't make ANY sense? It's like stupid sh*t just swirls around inside their brain like some sort of helter-skelter like soup. Like Vomit for brains.
I'm not the brightest guy in the world but some of the stupid conclusions people come up with just amaze me. Have you ever heard someone say something so stupid that it Stupified you? Like, right after they said it, you say to yourself "wtf???" - and your mind goes blank. It's like you all of a sudden you're staring out into space. Like: "I can't believe he just said that." Or, "What in the hell is this asshole talking about?"
And the thing I hate worse is when a dumbass talks to you like you're a dumbass. Man, that pisses me off. You can't tell those kind of people anything. You have to show them or wait for a situation to completely "play out" before they realize you were right all along. And, I never say "I told you so", but I DO Think it.
I know women get turned off by dumb men - and, in fact, most of them have no patience or respect for dumb men. Well, men feel the same way about dumb women. Who wants to be with an "air-head" or a "bimbo"? Well, some men (maybe most) probably wouldn't care as long as the woman is Hot. And, if they DID care, they'd get over it.
But...
Look at how they treat those types of women. Listen to way they talk to them. Yelling at them. Bossing them around. Calling them names. Being sarcastic with them. Laughing at them... Those poor bubble-headed broads don't stand a chance at a happy relationship with those brutes in their lives. The guy is frustrated as hell, but won't end the relationship because he likes bossing the woman around or because he likes having sex with a hot chick on a regular basis. Or, He's "trapped" in the relationship for some other reason.
Some men out there won't put up with this crap for more than a year or two. Then, they're trying to find a way out of the relationship. If they CAN'T find a way out, they'll cheat. Hence, the quote "I can't believe he cheated on her. She is so friggin' hot. She could be a model. She's a great girl. Any man would consider her a prize. She's this. And, she's that..."
Yeah, but the worrisome broad is dumb as a damn brick and she's a pain in the ass. Men get sick and tired of those "Princess" types.
Some men would rather have a woman with average beauty and class than to have a hot chick who's mind is "all over the place" asking dumb-ass questions and making false accusations and stupid-ass comments.
That's one reason why Cougars are so popular. These women are hot. Plus, it seems like they have their sh*t together. They're experienced, smart, and confident.
But, Some of those guys are in for a rude awakening, because some of those women are "off their rocker" too.
My Ex is a few years older than me. And the relationship was not the dream I expected. It was a damn nightmare.
I never cheated on her but who knows what I would've done if pushed over the edge.
But, I'm not saying that all men - or even most men - appreciate a smart woman, Or a woman who's more intelligent than them. God knows most men don't want that. But, men DO appreciate a woman who has some common sense and who isn't on their back Everyday about some bull-crap.
It's like some people can't function if they don't have some sort of drama in their lives. No matter how small it is. That's why half the sh*t they say don't even make any damn sense - because they're talking out of their ass.
Lord, I'm gettin' riled up again...
I can't even finish this post.
That's what I hate about ranting and complaining: Once you start, it's hard to stop. And, I'm actually a sweet guy.
- loveqna
First: Let me offer my apologies for the previous post, "Women Are Annoying". I was a little upset. And sleepy. And groggy.
You know I really don't mean ALL women are annoying.
The World is full of some real "Cupcakes" who are sweet, understanding, AND who work just as hard as men do. We all know that. I just flipped out that's all.
But, I've been having bad luck interacting with women lately - my Ex and my roommate. Either Karma or the Devil is making me pay for my past sins and I just lost my cool. So, I apologize for acting like a madman.
But, let me tell you something.
When a woman makes a lot of accusations and false assumptions (that are just plain dumb), it really gets a man steamed up and turns him off.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who constantly says things that don't make ANY sense? It's like stupid sh*t just swirls around inside their brain like some sort of helter-skelter like soup. Like Vomit for brains.
I'm not the brightest guy in the world but some of the stupid conclusions people come up with just amaze me. Have you ever heard someone say something so stupid that it Stupified you? Like, right after they said it, you say to yourself "wtf???" - and your mind goes blank. It's like you all of a sudden you're staring out into space. Like: "I can't believe he just said that." Or, "What in the hell is this asshole talking about?"
And the thing I hate worse is when a dumbass talks to you like you're a dumbass. Man, that pisses me off. You can't tell those kind of people anything. You have to show them or wait for a situation to completely "play out" before they realize you were right all along. And, I never say "I told you so", but I DO Think it.
I know women get turned off by dumb men - and, in fact, most of them have no patience or respect for dumb men. Well, men feel the same way about dumb women. Who wants to be with an "air-head" or a "bimbo"? Well, some men (maybe most) probably wouldn't care as long as the woman is Hot. And, if they DID care, they'd get over it.
But...
Look at how they treat those types of women. Listen to way they talk to them. Yelling at them. Bossing them around. Calling them names. Being sarcastic with them. Laughing at them... Those poor bubble-headed broads don't stand a chance at a happy relationship with those brutes in their lives. The guy is frustrated as hell, but won't end the relationship because he likes bossing the woman around or because he likes having sex with a hot chick on a regular basis. Or, He's "trapped" in the relationship for some other reason.
Some men out there won't put up with this crap for more than a year or two. Then, they're trying to find a way out of the relationship. If they CAN'T find a way out, they'll cheat. Hence, the quote "I can't believe he cheated on her. She is so friggin' hot. She could be a model. She's a great girl. Any man would consider her a prize. She's this. And, she's that..."
Yeah, but the worrisome broad is dumb as a damn brick and she's a pain in the ass. Men get sick and tired of those "Princess" types.
Some men would rather have a woman with average beauty and class than to have a hot chick who's mind is "all over the place" asking dumb-ass questions and making false accusations and stupid-ass comments.
That's one reason why Cougars are so popular. These women are hot. Plus, it seems like they have their sh*t together. They're experienced, smart, and confident.
But, Some of those guys are in for a rude awakening, because some of those women are "off their rocker" too.
My Ex is a few years older than me. And the relationship was not the dream I expected. It was a damn nightmare.
I never cheated on her but who knows what I would've done if pushed over the edge.
But, I'm not saying that all men - or even most men - appreciate a smart woman, Or a woman who's more intelligent than them. God knows most men don't want that. But, men DO appreciate a woman who has some common sense and who isn't on their back Everyday about some bull-crap.
It's like some people can't function if they don't have some sort of drama in their lives. No matter how small it is. That's why half the sh*t they say don't even make any damn sense - because they're talking out of their ass.
Lord, I'm gettin' riled up again...
I can't even finish this post.
That's what I hate about ranting and complaining: Once you start, it's hard to stop. And, I'm actually a sweet guy.
- loveqna
Women Are Annoying
I Apologize; One Reason Why Men Cheat
-----------------------------------
I'm beginning to see why a lot of relationships don't last long when you live with a woman...
They get on your damn nerves.
Fix this. Fix that.
"Why did you do this."; "Why did you do that."; "You shouldn't have done this."; "Please do that."
Good Lord.
I love women, but dammit, they'll worry your ass to death - over some bull-sh*t.
Let me tell you something about me.
I was born into a "Baptist family". Baptists - and other hardcore religious folks - don't believe in "shacking-up". Well, some religions turn a blind eye to it, but I don't know what they are. Anyway...
A couple living together before marriage, "shacking-up", is taboo in my family. And, when I was in my earlier teens, I felt the same way. But, now, I don't think I could marry ANY woman without living with her for a while first. I know I know: That's Blasphemy! And, I wouldn't encourage anyone to follow in my footsteps. In fact, I was going to put up a post on this topic a months ago but changed my mind. But, Then something happened between me and roommate, so now I have to address this issue.
We didn't have "relations". Nothing kinky. No fooling around or anything like that. But, she's been "testing the waters".
What I mean by that is:
After the first couple of weeks or so of me being here, she kept asking me if I missed my Ex. Of course, I said no. And, I still don't.
Right around the third week or so, she stunned me by asking me if I could wash her hair for her. told her I'd never done anything like that and I didn't want to mess up her hair. Or worse, cause it to fall out. She passed.
Then, she was always cooking and asking me what kind of foods I liked. But she always cooked chicken because she likes to healthy. If she didn't cook, she would call me and ask if I wanted something while she was out. Or, if I wanted to ride with her to the store or out to eat (fastfood).
Then she's offering to take me to work - sometimes.
After that...
I'm taking out the garbage,
Washing dishes,
Moping the floors (kitchen and baths),
Vacuuming,
Cleaning the spare bathroom,
Bringing in the newspaper,
Scraping ice off the windshield in the cold,
Giving my opinion on shoes and purses,
Sitting around yappin' about "Basketball Wives", "The Housewives of Atlanta", "The Game", "The Bachelor", and other chick-flick TV shows.
And, we don't share this list. This is what I have to do. Luckily, she already has a "yard man" to cut the grass and trim the hedges.
And, my list of responsibilities don't stop there. There are other "little things" you may have to fix and repair when "tragedy" strikes.
Like:
a broken toilet
a broken hinge on a cabinet door
a leaking washing machine
killing bugs
checking for strange noises
calling and waiting for the cable guy to come and repair the cable TV
a warped backsplash in the kitchen
And don't forget the "favors"!
Like: washing the car while she's getting dressed to go to a banquet or hang-out with the girls.
Or, running an errand. Or, making a special trip to the store.
Women will work your ass half to damn death.
But, that's how it is when you're living with someone and you want to maintain a "happy home" and neat and clean environment.
I swear, it's like we're in a relationship.
When I mentioned to my homeboy at work that I had been playing tennis with my roommate and how good She was, you could see his eyes light up. "Did you tap that yet?"
A week later... "Have you tried to tap that yet?"; "Have you tapped that?";
A month later... "Have you hit it yet?"; "If that was MY roommate, I would've done tap that ass."
I was like, "Damn. I should've never opened my damn mouth."
It really is hard for most guys to be friends or roommates with a woman without trying to have sex with her.
My roommate has a phat ass, a nice body, and great style, but I'm not interested. I like being single. And, I enjoy my freedom. Besides, I know my list of chores and rules will get long as hell if we ever got intimate.
No thank you. My "honey-doo" list is long enough now.
Damn. I just realize something...
I got WAY off topic. I never told you what the reason was for me writing this post.
So, the other day, I get here and I see a dead cockroach or "water-bug" at the bottomm of the staircase. My roommate killed it.
Now, she could've gotten it up but intead, she left it for me.
Then she had the nerve to suggest that the cockroach came from out of my clothes or one of my bags that I have my notes, some newspaper articles, and books in.
I've been here for four months. She's NEVER seen a cockroach or any OTHER bugs (except a centipede) so, how in the hell does she figure the cockroach belongs to me. Those things will start creeping into house as soon as the weather begins to warm-up and the spring season starts. Any jackass knows that.
Then, she had to kill a centipede in the laundry room and suggested it came from my daily work clothes that leave in the garage to dry.
I have to ride my bike 11 miles (one way) to work and back. Plus, I smoke. And, since she doesn't like the smell of cigarettes - and I don't want to bring my sweaty dusty clothes in the house, I'll let them air-out first, then put them in a bag so that I can wash them later in the week.
Anyway...
She said this little one inch centipede came from my clothes. It's warming up outside. The spring season has begun. There are all kinds of bugs creeping around and will get into your house one way or the other.
But, not only the bugs...
Before I started washing the dishes, I noticed a bit of rust in the bottom of the sink. She approached me and suggested that I was leaving food in the sink. This damn dumbass broad... SHE'S the one leaving food on her plates. She's the one who told me originally that she doesn't wash dishes everyday. And she's the one who had the rust in the sink because when I first started washing those filthy piles of dishes I noticed the rust and tried to get rid of it with Comet and a scouring pad.
Then, she'll wake me up in the middle of my sleep and ask me if I'm going to sleep all day...
wtf???
I work third shift.
I ride my bike 11 miles (to and from work) up and down hills and across town.
I get to work and have to lift heavy-ass merchandise and race against the clock all night.
I get back to the house and can't fall asleep until 12 o'clock or sometimes 2 or 3. So, I only get 3 to 5 hours of rest per day.
And it's not like I'm in excellent shape to deal with this sh*t. Hell, I smoke cigarettes everday.
And she wants to wake me up asking me if I'm going to sleep all day... So, she can get me to do something for her or because she wants to talk and chit-chat about a TV show or something.
One day, I had a slight cough. I think I got it from riding to work during a drizzle of rain. But it was a little congestion in my chest. In fact, I could clear my throat to get rid of it. And she hollers out, "Do you have a cold?" I said, "No. It's a little congestion in my chest."
But she tells me to spray some Lysol to kill the germs...
This b*tch has been damn near about to choke to death from coughing from a cold for the last 2 or 3 months after playing tennis in damn 30 degree freezing weather - at night - and she ain't been spraying no damn Lysol to kill Her damn germs... But, she wants me to spray Lysol all around in this room and choke to death from the fumes.
I told that b*tch to kiss my ass.
Well, I didn't actually say it but I didn't get any Lysol either. Hell, the cough I had didn't even last a full day.
She's a "trip".
Some of these women will try to run your ass ragged.
And, I'm lucky. Some men have to deal with a lot more crap than this. Do you think I would trade this life in to be back with my Ex??? Ain't no way in Hell. So, I can't complain too much. But still... This sh*t gets on my damn nerves.
- loveqna
-----------------------------------
I'm beginning to see why a lot of relationships don't last long when you live with a woman...
They get on your damn nerves.
Fix this. Fix that.
"Why did you do this."; "Why did you do that."; "You shouldn't have done this."; "Please do that."
Good Lord.
I love women, but dammit, they'll worry your ass to death - over some bull-sh*t.
Let me tell you something about me.
I was born into a "Baptist family". Baptists - and other hardcore religious folks - don't believe in "shacking-up". Well, some religions turn a blind eye to it, but I don't know what they are. Anyway...
A couple living together before marriage, "shacking-up", is taboo in my family. And, when I was in my earlier teens, I felt the same way. But, now, I don't think I could marry ANY woman without living with her for a while first. I know I know: That's Blasphemy! And, I wouldn't encourage anyone to follow in my footsteps. In fact, I was going to put up a post on this topic a months ago but changed my mind. But, Then something happened between me and roommate, so now I have to address this issue.
We didn't have "relations". Nothing kinky. No fooling around or anything like that. But, she's been "testing the waters".
What I mean by that is:
After the first couple of weeks or so of me being here, she kept asking me if I missed my Ex. Of course, I said no. And, I still don't.
Right around the third week or so, she stunned me by asking me if I could wash her hair for her. told her I'd never done anything like that and I didn't want to mess up her hair. Or worse, cause it to fall out. She passed.
Then, she was always cooking and asking me what kind of foods I liked. But she always cooked chicken because she likes to healthy. If she didn't cook, she would call me and ask if I wanted something while she was out. Or, if I wanted to ride with her to the store or out to eat (fastfood).
Then she's offering to take me to work - sometimes.
After that...
I'm taking out the garbage,
Washing dishes,
Moping the floors (kitchen and baths),
Vacuuming,
Cleaning the spare bathroom,
Bringing in the newspaper,
Scraping ice off the windshield in the cold,
Giving my opinion on shoes and purses,
Sitting around yappin' about "Basketball Wives", "The Housewives of Atlanta", "The Game", "The Bachelor", and other chick-flick TV shows.
And, we don't share this list. This is what I have to do. Luckily, she already has a "yard man" to cut the grass and trim the hedges.
And, my list of responsibilities don't stop there. There are other "little things" you may have to fix and repair when "tragedy" strikes.
Like:
a broken toilet
a broken hinge on a cabinet door
a leaking washing machine
killing bugs
checking for strange noises
calling and waiting for the cable guy to come and repair the cable TV
a warped backsplash in the kitchen
And don't forget the "favors"!
Like: washing the car while she's getting dressed to go to a banquet or hang-out with the girls.
Or, running an errand. Or, making a special trip to the store.
Women will work your ass half to damn death.
But, that's how it is when you're living with someone and you want to maintain a "happy home" and neat and clean environment.
I swear, it's like we're in a relationship.
When I mentioned to my homeboy at work that I had been playing tennis with my roommate and how good She was, you could see his eyes light up. "Did you tap that yet?"
A week later... "Have you tried to tap that yet?"; "Have you tapped that?";
A month later... "Have you hit it yet?"; "If that was MY roommate, I would've done tap that ass."
I was like, "Damn. I should've never opened my damn mouth."
It really is hard for most guys to be friends or roommates with a woman without trying to have sex with her.
My roommate has a phat ass, a nice body, and great style, but I'm not interested. I like being single. And, I enjoy my freedom. Besides, I know my list of chores and rules will get long as hell if we ever got intimate.
No thank you. My "honey-doo" list is long enough now.
Damn. I just realize something...
I got WAY off topic. I never told you what the reason was for me writing this post.
So, the other day, I get here and I see a dead cockroach or "water-bug" at the bottomm of the staircase. My roommate killed it.
Now, she could've gotten it up but intead, she left it for me.
Then she had the nerve to suggest that the cockroach came from out of my clothes or one of my bags that I have my notes, some newspaper articles, and books in.
I've been here for four months. She's NEVER seen a cockroach or any OTHER bugs (except a centipede) so, how in the hell does she figure the cockroach belongs to me. Those things will start creeping into house as soon as the weather begins to warm-up and the spring season starts. Any jackass knows that.
Then, she had to kill a centipede in the laundry room and suggested it came from my daily work clothes that leave in the garage to dry.
I have to ride my bike 11 miles (one way) to work and back. Plus, I smoke. And, since she doesn't like the smell of cigarettes - and I don't want to bring my sweaty dusty clothes in the house, I'll let them air-out first, then put them in a bag so that I can wash them later in the week.
Anyway...
She said this little one inch centipede came from my clothes. It's warming up outside. The spring season has begun. There are all kinds of bugs creeping around and will get into your house one way or the other.
But, not only the bugs...
Before I started washing the dishes, I noticed a bit of rust in the bottom of the sink. She approached me and suggested that I was leaving food in the sink. This damn dumbass broad... SHE'S the one leaving food on her plates. She's the one who told me originally that she doesn't wash dishes everyday. And she's the one who had the rust in the sink because when I first started washing those filthy piles of dishes I noticed the rust and tried to get rid of it with Comet and a scouring pad.
Then, she'll wake me up in the middle of my sleep and ask me if I'm going to sleep all day...
wtf???
I work third shift.
I ride my bike 11 miles (to and from work) up and down hills and across town.
I get to work and have to lift heavy-ass merchandise and race against the clock all night.
I get back to the house and can't fall asleep until 12 o'clock or sometimes 2 or 3. So, I only get 3 to 5 hours of rest per day.
And it's not like I'm in excellent shape to deal with this sh*t. Hell, I smoke cigarettes everday.
And she wants to wake me up asking me if I'm going to sleep all day... So, she can get me to do something for her or because she wants to talk and chit-chat about a TV show or something.
One day, I had a slight cough. I think I got it from riding to work during a drizzle of rain. But it was a little congestion in my chest. In fact, I could clear my throat to get rid of it. And she hollers out, "Do you have a cold?" I said, "No. It's a little congestion in my chest."
But she tells me to spray some Lysol to kill the germs...
This b*tch has been damn near about to choke to death from coughing from a cold for the last 2 or 3 months after playing tennis in damn 30 degree freezing weather - at night - and she ain't been spraying no damn Lysol to kill Her damn germs... But, she wants me to spray Lysol all around in this room and choke to death from the fumes.
I told that b*tch to kiss my ass.
Well, I didn't actually say it but I didn't get any Lysol either. Hell, the cough I had didn't even last a full day.
She's a "trip".
Some of these women will try to run your ass ragged.
And, I'm lucky. Some men have to deal with a lot more crap than this. Do you think I would trade this life in to be back with my Ex??? Ain't no way in Hell. So, I can't complain too much. But still... This sh*t gets on my damn nerves.
- loveqna
A Pretty Face Will Make You Lose Your Mind
We had a new girl start work today. She's very cute. Straight silky brown hair. Pretty eyes with long eyelashes. Beautiful creamy skin... And, although she's thick (a little on the "hefty" side of "thick"), she's well-proportioned and THICK in all the right places (a little too thick in SOME places). And, she has Style. A NEAT girl. And, her clothes didn't look cheap either.
Anyway...
She appeared at the front door. Literally. From out of nowhere this chick just popped-up and was standing at the door waiting to come in.
So, "Old Grumpy" was the first one to see her. His ass rushed to the front entrance door to let the chick in. He didn't hesitate or nothin'. His ass couldn't wait to get to that door to let that broad in. He's not even a supervisor and he yells out to the manager: "Hey, throw me your keys! Somebody's at the door!"
Hell, he just opened the doors wide open and invited her right in!
???
"Are you from the other store?"
I looked at him...
I said that damn dumbass opening the door for a stranger at 4AM in the morning and he don't even know who the hell she is. She could have a bunch of thugs laying in wait to rob all of our asses.
Sh*t, I don't care if she IS cute. I'm not taking any chances.
You've seen the movies. A pretty woman makes the best decoy. Hell, if his grumpy old ass is falling head-over-heels for the girl at first sight that he doesn't even know - and he's hardly nice to anyone - imagine what a few thugs that know her might do.
They'll come in and pick our pockets to the bone.
But, I guess he couldn't help himself. That plus-size chick must've dazzled his ass. Razzle-dazzled.
She's hefty, but she ain't bad to look at.
Okay, so she turns out to be a new employee and today was her first day of training.
Now, here comes Mr. Cool... and the girl, since he's training her.
"YO! PLAYA! WHAT'S UP, MAN! WHAT'S GOIN' ON? ARE YOU DOIN' OKAY? YOU NEED ANY HELP?!"
Now, why the hell is this man yellin'? It's 4AM. There's only a hand full of people in the store. It's quiet as hell. And, he's screamin' at the top of his lungs.
And, he ain't NEVER asked me if I needed help before.
Then, the dude starts making these other weird noises:
"Woooooooo!"
"Yeeeeaaaaaah!"
"WHUT. WHUT."
Laughing and giggling and sh*t...
I said to myself "Damn. He's done lost his damn mind."
She smiled a little bit, but she looked uncomfortable by this. Hell, I couldn't blame her.
I understand she's cute and has an innocent smile but have some Dignity about yourself!
I was shocked. Because, normally, he comes in half-asleep. He's dragging his ass and walking around like a damn zombie without a clue. Plus, his eyes are always red and he looks tired.
But today...
That broad had his ass wide awake and Crunk.
Granted, we ARE cool (me and him), but...
This dude ain't NEVER acknowledged me like that before. So, you KNOW that girl made him flip out.
I told you: "She's thick and on the hefty side but she ain't bad to look at."
Plus, she has an accent so that only added to the value of the "merchandise". I mean her "stock" damn near doubled by the time she made it to the break room.
And women will go coo-coo for a pretty face too...
There's this one guy that works with us - He's not a bad looking guy (I wouldn't date him, but I'm just sayin' if you like the way men look you'd think he was a good-looking dude).
The women love to look at this guy and they talk about his smile, his dimples, his muscles, and his body, and all that... And, it makes me sick to my DAMN stomach. lol. I'm only kidding. He's a pretty cool guy. We talk a lot and I'll have to tell you one of the stories he told me about how his girlfriend's Mom issued a restraining order against him because he was hiding in her house. The way it happened was funny as hell as well as how he got busted...
Anyway...
I enjoy listening to the ladies sit around gossiping and talking about eye-candy and sex and so forth. No, it doesn't get me aroused. It just confirms what I tell others about my experiences with women.
They love eye-candy. And they stand around ogling these fine cutie-pies just like men do.
They talk about men's "packages" (YOU know what I'm talking about).
They like round booties too.
We all know they fantasize.
They like cute young "things".
They talk about their sexual escapades - good and bad experiences.
They look for "action" just like guys look for "action".
Etc.
What MOST guys talk about, MANY women talk about too.
But, let me get back to the "pretty faces thing"...
There's another guy that works with us who resembles a celebrity. A singer. We don't talk much but we're cool. Every once and a while we'll chat or talk about music or sports or whatever.
Anyway...
There were a few girls at work going nuts over this guy. Both of these chicks are in long term relationships. He made a play for one of these chicks and she played hard to get. She brushed the man off. So, he moved on.
He approached the other chick.
Normally, she is ALL business at work. But, for THIS dude, She was "hot and ready". She flipped. Everyone knows she's involved and has a family. But, one look at that pretty face of his and she was out smooching in the parking lot. Bringing the man breakfast, lunch, and dinner at work. I'm exaggerating a little bit - only lunch/dinner. Anyway, she's telling her "Main Squeeze" she's working and she's somewhere kickin' it her "chick on the side".
Meanwhile... The other chick who was playing hard to get is jealous, angry, and telling all of the girl's business. Saying the girl should be ashamed of herself because she is "messing around" and she has a family and yadda-yadda. Basically, hatin'.
She doesn't care about the dude. She doesn't care about that girl's family. AND... get this... the other girl is supposed to be one of her "friends".
It's a shame and a scandal... But, You know how haters are.
Anyway... I'm just still laughing at my homeboy from this morning, and I had to tell you about it.
I've went nuts over a pretty face too. But, I'll save that story for another day.
- loveqna
Anyway...
She appeared at the front door. Literally. From out of nowhere this chick just popped-up and was standing at the door waiting to come in.
So, "Old Grumpy" was the first one to see her. His ass rushed to the front entrance door to let the chick in. He didn't hesitate or nothin'. His ass couldn't wait to get to that door to let that broad in. He's not even a supervisor and he yells out to the manager: "Hey, throw me your keys! Somebody's at the door!"
Hell, he just opened the doors wide open and invited her right in!
???
"Are you from the other store?"
I looked at him...
I said that damn dumbass opening the door for a stranger at 4AM in the morning and he don't even know who the hell she is. She could have a bunch of thugs laying in wait to rob all of our asses.
Sh*t, I don't care if she IS cute. I'm not taking any chances.
You've seen the movies. A pretty woman makes the best decoy. Hell, if his grumpy old ass is falling head-over-heels for the girl at first sight that he doesn't even know - and he's hardly nice to anyone - imagine what a few thugs that know her might do.
They'll come in and pick our pockets to the bone.
But, I guess he couldn't help himself. That plus-size chick must've dazzled his ass. Razzle-dazzled.
She's hefty, but she ain't bad to look at.
Okay, so she turns out to be a new employee and today was her first day of training.
Now, here comes Mr. Cool... and the girl, since he's training her.
"YO! PLAYA! WHAT'S UP, MAN! WHAT'S GOIN' ON? ARE YOU DOIN' OKAY? YOU NEED ANY HELP?!"
Now, why the hell is this man yellin'? It's 4AM. There's only a hand full of people in the store. It's quiet as hell. And, he's screamin' at the top of his lungs.
And, he ain't NEVER asked me if I needed help before.
Then, the dude starts making these other weird noises:
"Woooooooo!"
"Yeeeeaaaaaah!"
"WHUT. WHUT."
Laughing and giggling and sh*t...
I said to myself "Damn. He's done lost his damn mind."
She smiled a little bit, but she looked uncomfortable by this. Hell, I couldn't blame her.
I understand she's cute and has an innocent smile but have some Dignity about yourself!
I was shocked. Because, normally, he comes in half-asleep. He's dragging his ass and walking around like a damn zombie without a clue. Plus, his eyes are always red and he looks tired.
But today...
That broad had his ass wide awake and Crunk.
Granted, we ARE cool (me and him), but...
This dude ain't NEVER acknowledged me like that before. So, you KNOW that girl made him flip out.
I told you: "She's thick and on the hefty side but she ain't bad to look at."
Plus, she has an accent so that only added to the value of the "merchandise". I mean her "stock" damn near doubled by the time she made it to the break room.
And women will go coo-coo for a pretty face too...
There's this one guy that works with us - He's not a bad looking guy (I wouldn't date him, but I'm just sayin' if you like the way men look you'd think he was a good-looking dude).
The women love to look at this guy and they talk about his smile, his dimples, his muscles, and his body, and all that... And, it makes me sick to my DAMN stomach. lol. I'm only kidding. He's a pretty cool guy. We talk a lot and I'll have to tell you one of the stories he told me about how his girlfriend's Mom issued a restraining order against him because he was hiding in her house. The way it happened was funny as hell as well as how he got busted...
Anyway...
I enjoy listening to the ladies sit around gossiping and talking about eye-candy and sex and so forth. No, it doesn't get me aroused. It just confirms what I tell others about my experiences with women.
They love eye-candy. And they stand around ogling these fine cutie-pies just like men do.
They talk about men's "packages" (YOU know what I'm talking about).
They like round booties too.
We all know they fantasize.
They like cute young "things".
They talk about their sexual escapades - good and bad experiences.
They look for "action" just like guys look for "action".
Etc.
What MOST guys talk about, MANY women talk about too.
But, let me get back to the "pretty faces thing"...
There's another guy that works with us who resembles a celebrity. A singer. We don't talk much but we're cool. Every once and a while we'll chat or talk about music or sports or whatever.
Anyway...
There were a few girls at work going nuts over this guy. Both of these chicks are in long term relationships. He made a play for one of these chicks and she played hard to get. She brushed the man off. So, he moved on.
He approached the other chick.
Normally, she is ALL business at work. But, for THIS dude, She was "hot and ready". She flipped. Everyone knows she's involved and has a family. But, one look at that pretty face of his and she was out smooching in the parking lot. Bringing the man breakfast, lunch, and dinner at work. I'm exaggerating a little bit - only lunch/dinner. Anyway, she's telling her "Main Squeeze" she's working and she's somewhere kickin' it her "chick on the side".
Meanwhile... The other chick who was playing hard to get is jealous, angry, and telling all of the girl's business. Saying the girl should be ashamed of herself because she is "messing around" and she has a family and yadda-yadda. Basically, hatin'.
She doesn't care about the dude. She doesn't care about that girl's family. AND... get this... the other girl is supposed to be one of her "friends".
It's a shame and a scandal... But, You know how haters are.
Anyway... I'm just still laughing at my homeboy from this morning, and I had to tell you about it.
I've went nuts over a pretty face too. But, I'll save that story for another day.
- loveqna
How Do You Know When You're In Love?
You could go to almost any discussion group or forum on the Net and there will be someone posting a topic about Love or "What is Love?". And, all of these prophets and preachers and life coaches will come out of the wood-works trying to explain what Love is with all of these philosophical answers - answers that really have NOTHING to do with the question or post.
We all know that the "love" we feel for our trinkets, parents, friends, careers, and associations are all different, right?
So, why do people keep posting all of that other stuff over and over again. Do they think you're so dumb that you don't have enough sense to know that there are different types and degrees of Love?
And, who can put a limitation on how much you should love your dog, cat, or hobby, or place of congregation over another human being? Love has no limits! Love has no boundaries! You can't CHOOSE who or what to love... If it's REAL Love it consumes you - with or without your consent.
There are people who leave inheritances to dogs, cats, and associations, and leave their children hanging out to dry. WHY??? Because of Love (sometimes, "spite"). You've seen or heard about those types of people in the News. They'll leave millions of dollars to a friend, or lover, or Anything, and won't leave their own flesh and blood a pot to piss in.
Let's be honest. You know when you spread your love around that everybody ain't gonna get an equal portion. You save the big helpings of Love for those you REALLY love and ration off a little love for people you like or care a little bit about. Some of us show love to people we HAVE to "love" because they're a member of the family. Lord knows there are some family members that would starve to death if I had to ration them off some love for any other reason than they were a cousin, aunt, or uncle.
But, most of us want to know what it feels like to experience True Love romantically. That's what the questions on those forums are really about.
What is Real Love?
What does it do to your mind? How does it affect your life? How does it feel to be loved by someone you love?
First, don't misunderstand. I'm no expert. Challenge whatever I say. Research for yourself. Talk to a life coach or preacher. Seek, seek and ye shall find.
But, here's my take on it...
Let me give you several scenarios involving Love that I've experienced and that I'm sure you (or someone you know) has experienced.
One: You love someone and they don't know that you love him/her. You're willing to do anything for this person. You want to help him or her in any way possible. You want to pamper and spoil this apple of your eye. You want to treat this person like they've never been treated before. You want to make him or her fall in love with you. And they'll like you because you're a good friend or nice or caring or whatever. He or she will like you because you're a sweetheart. But this guy or girl doesn't know you're doing all of this because you're in love. And this friendship will last for months or maybe even years.
Two: You love someone and he/she knows it and avoids you. It may make you sad. It may make you angry. You may lose your mind and yourself trying to convince him or her to love you or accept your love, but he or she wants no part of a relationship with you. Maybe he or she wants to be friends OR maybe he or she doesn't want to be involved with you at all.
Three: Someone loves you and you don't love him/her. You want to get away from this person or convince him or her to leave you alone or let you go. But, he or she keeps pursuing you or trying to date you or worse, he/she stalks you. This could be a "fatal attraction". You KNOW this person is crazy in love with you. How would you feel about a love like that? You might spend most of your time trying to avoid this person. You might even have to get a restraining order against this "Nut".
Four: You meet someone you are ready to give your heart and soul to and he or she feels the same way. You can't stay away from each other. You have the same ideals, goals, dreams, interests, etc. You both connect on all levels and you understand each other completely. You're best friends and SoulMates. That's the love we all dream about, right?
All of these people claim they love the object of their desire. And, in every case it could be true.
There's no rule that says BOTH people have to love each other in order for ONE of them to feel Love towards the other. Love doesn't guarantee Happiness. And, it's not based on a mutual understanding... Or, an Agreement.
It would make the Love a lot more special if both people loved each other on the same level, but one can love the other unconditionally without receiving love in return. It's like that in many relationships - including marriage. One wants to stay. The other wants to go. Someone may be in love with you right now, but just because you aren't returning his or her love doesn't mean that his or her love for you isn't real.
There have been men and women who have abandoned their spouse, their friends, their children, their parents - and even their lifestyles - to be with someone ELSE they loved. All of these "loved ones" in their life that love and care for them, yet they choose to leave to be with someone they love more. It happens all the time.
But, that's how potent Love is. Love can make you lose your Mind.
Some people are obsessed by it and don't even know it! They don't know that Love is turning them into a jackass or a jerk. Or, making them good or evil. Or, brainwashing them. It's like being on a Drug and a lot of people can't handle it.
They don't care that they're hurting the people that love them. They can't control their feelings. No one can control something as powerful as True Love.
The only thing in their heart and mind is doing whatever they have to do to keep this person they truly love in their life. And if that means leaving everything else behind, so be it. They'll run off and leave their family and friends high and dry.
And that's the worst thing about Love - Love can make you blind... And crazy. Nothing else in the world can make a person "foolish" like Love can.
How many times have you seen or heard about someone being in an abusive relationship but was too crazy to even CONSIDER leaving? Their partner may be abusive, uncaring, deceitful, and manipulative, but to the person in love, this low-down dirty butthole is a saint. Or, the abused person feels that ONE Day this bum will change and their lives will be great and they'll live happily ever after.
You could talk until you were blue in the face but the person in love won't give up the relationship no matter what you say or do. They'd give up on your friendship first before they let that scoundrel or chickenhead hoodrat go.
Love can make a person do some strange things.
But what makes people so crazy insane with Love?
Who knows how it it happens.
Being treated like you've never been treated before?
Being with someone you've fantasized about? Or someone who's just amazing?
Being with someone who makes you forget all of your problems?
Being with someone who makes you laugh?
Being with someone who makes you look at Life and World diffently?
Being with someone who's powerful?
Experiencing something and someone on a level you've never imagined?
Who knows why people fall in love. Everybody has their own reasons.
It could start out as lust, infatuation, or a crush (things that revolve around beauty and/or a fantasy), but certain events and new situations can turn two people completely around and transform their lives.
Even two people who didn't like each other in the beginning somehow end up dating and fall in love.
Sometimes you see beautiful women and handsome men fall in love with mud-ducks, hoodrats, nerds, and scrubs. These people may have thought they had nothing in common, but once they got to know each other - BAM - it was on and poppin'. Now, they can't stay away from each other.
I was bitten by the "love-bug"...
I don't remember WHEN or HOW I fell in love, it just snuck-up on me. In the beginning we hung out occasionaly. Maybe once or twice a week. But, the more I got to know Her, the more I wanted to spend time with Her.
She was fun to be with. She made me happy. Whenever I was stressed out, She knew how to make me feel calm and relaxed. Sometimes She even made me laugh at myself. But, She was always an inspiration to me. She was like my muse and my mentor. I felt open enough to share everything I was feeling inside with Her. She was like Therapy. No one ever made me feel like that.
Don't get me wrong, She pissed me off many times too, and we had our disagreements but no matter how bad things got, I was glad She was a part of my life and I didn't know what I'd do without Her. She meant the World to me.
I loved Her so much, I started hanging out with Her EVERY single day.
Everything about our relationship seemed normal to me. But, really, I had became obsessed with Her.
I gave Her my money. I neglected my other interests. I neglected my friends. I thought about Her when I was at work. I thought of Her just before I fell asleep. I fantasized about our relationship. I daydreamed about spending the rest of my life with Her and was afraid of what would happen to me without Her. Almost everything I did in life was for Her. And, I was more than happy to do it.
She meant everything to me.
So, this is what I have to say about Love...
To me, Love is Devotion - Being devoted to someone without concern for anything else in Life. You go to sleep and your mind is on him or her. You wake up and your first thought is this person you love. Everything you do is for this guy or girl. All of your time and energy is devoted to this ONE person and relationship. You start your family and work towards certain goals in life because of this person. Thoughts of him or her consume you everyday, every hour, almost every minute of your life. You can't help it. This man or woman amazes you. Everything about him or her is beautiful and turns you on. At times you may even fear losing this person and you pray to God that he or she - this person you love - is okay or that YOU will always be there to make sure he or she is okay.
Some people say that True Love motivates you and inspires you, and I believe that as well, but I've also seen that (sometimes) Love comes with the wrong KIND of inspiration and motivation.
I don't think you ever really know what Love is like or if you're in love until you're tested by the "temptations of Life". What are you willing do FOR this person? How far are you willing to go to KEEP this person in your life? What are you willing to do to BE with this person? What are you willing to do to PROVE your Love? You never know until you're living a life of Love and Love seems to be all around you.
You can't control it. It controls You.
That's why it amazes me that people who cheat can say they're in love.
How can a cheatin-ass man or woman claim to be in love - and devoted - when he or she is out chasing hoes and hoodrats in the streets??? What's lovely about that?
Don't get me wrong, I know Temptation is hell and Addictions are hard to fight, but a lot of people are out there playing games and waffling - claiming to be in love - and making up all kinds of excuses (lying like hell) because they're ashamed they got caught.
On the OTHER hand...
I've known some people who HAVE cheated but who never thought of giving up what they had at home to devote their lives to someone else. Some of these people were married, some were just dating, some had children, some didn't, some lived together, some didn't. But some of those cheaters got into arguments with their "friends" because they flat out refused to leave the person they truly loved.
So, it's all a mystery.
I guess there are certain levels of Devotion since there are certain levels of Love.
Some people know how to share love and some don't. Some people are selfish, jealous, and destructive when it comes to love. And, some are inspired to do good when they feel it. Like everything else in Life, you just never know what you'll get.
This is probably why some people have said you shouldn't look for Love or that it's dangerous to look for Love - You might end up with a type of love you'll regret.
It's possible that the man or woman you love may never REALLY know how much you love him or her until you take your very last breath - and vice versa. Sometimes it takes tragedy to open our eyes and realize how much we're loved.
That's a shame but most of the time, that's the way it is.
The proof could be staring the one you love right in the face. You could speak with words and actions, and they STILL won't believe it, appreciate it, or show you how much THEY care.
I have two beliefs about Love...
With the right Love in your Life, you can conquer The World. With the wrong Love in your Life, you can destroy your own.
But, this is how I feel about Love.
What about you?
- loveqna
We all know that the "love" we feel for our trinkets, parents, friends, careers, and associations are all different, right?
So, why do people keep posting all of that other stuff over and over again. Do they think you're so dumb that you don't have enough sense to know that there are different types and degrees of Love?
And, who can put a limitation on how much you should love your dog, cat, or hobby, or place of congregation over another human being? Love has no limits! Love has no boundaries! You can't CHOOSE who or what to love... If it's REAL Love it consumes you - with or without your consent.
There are people who leave inheritances to dogs, cats, and associations, and leave their children hanging out to dry. WHY??? Because of Love (sometimes, "spite"). You've seen or heard about those types of people in the News. They'll leave millions of dollars to a friend, or lover, or Anything, and won't leave their own flesh and blood a pot to piss in.
Let's be honest. You know when you spread your love around that everybody ain't gonna get an equal portion. You save the big helpings of Love for those you REALLY love and ration off a little love for people you like or care a little bit about. Some of us show love to people we HAVE to "love" because they're a member of the family. Lord knows there are some family members that would starve to death if I had to ration them off some love for any other reason than they were a cousin, aunt, or uncle.
But, most of us want to know what it feels like to experience True Love romantically. That's what the questions on those forums are really about.
What is Real Love?
What does it do to your mind? How does it affect your life? How does it feel to be loved by someone you love?
First, don't misunderstand. I'm no expert. Challenge whatever I say. Research for yourself. Talk to a life coach or preacher. Seek, seek and ye shall find.
But, here's my take on it...
Let me give you several scenarios involving Love that I've experienced and that I'm sure you (or someone you know) has experienced.
One: You love someone and they don't know that you love him/her. You're willing to do anything for this person. You want to help him or her in any way possible. You want to pamper and spoil this apple of your eye. You want to treat this person like they've never been treated before. You want to make him or her fall in love with you. And they'll like you because you're a good friend or nice or caring or whatever. He or she will like you because you're a sweetheart. But this guy or girl doesn't know you're doing all of this because you're in love. And this friendship will last for months or maybe even years.
Two: You love someone and he/she knows it and avoids you. It may make you sad. It may make you angry. You may lose your mind and yourself trying to convince him or her to love you or accept your love, but he or she wants no part of a relationship with you. Maybe he or she wants to be friends OR maybe he or she doesn't want to be involved with you at all.
Three: Someone loves you and you don't love him/her. You want to get away from this person or convince him or her to leave you alone or let you go. But, he or she keeps pursuing you or trying to date you or worse, he/she stalks you. This could be a "fatal attraction". You KNOW this person is crazy in love with you. How would you feel about a love like that? You might spend most of your time trying to avoid this person. You might even have to get a restraining order against this "Nut".
Four: You meet someone you are ready to give your heart and soul to and he or she feels the same way. You can't stay away from each other. You have the same ideals, goals, dreams, interests, etc. You both connect on all levels and you understand each other completely. You're best friends and SoulMates. That's the love we all dream about, right?
All of these people claim they love the object of their desire. And, in every case it could be true.
There's no rule that says BOTH people have to love each other in order for ONE of them to feel Love towards the other. Love doesn't guarantee Happiness. And, it's not based on a mutual understanding... Or, an Agreement.
It would make the Love a lot more special if both people loved each other on the same level, but one can love the other unconditionally without receiving love in return. It's like that in many relationships - including marriage. One wants to stay. The other wants to go. Someone may be in love with you right now, but just because you aren't returning his or her love doesn't mean that his or her love for you isn't real.
There have been men and women who have abandoned their spouse, their friends, their children, their parents - and even their lifestyles - to be with someone ELSE they loved. All of these "loved ones" in their life that love and care for them, yet they choose to leave to be with someone they love more. It happens all the time.
But, that's how potent Love is. Love can make you lose your Mind.
Some people are obsessed by it and don't even know it! They don't know that Love is turning them into a jackass or a jerk. Or, making them good or evil. Or, brainwashing them. It's like being on a Drug and a lot of people can't handle it.
They don't care that they're hurting the people that love them. They can't control their feelings. No one can control something as powerful as True Love.
The only thing in their heart and mind is doing whatever they have to do to keep this person they truly love in their life. And if that means leaving everything else behind, so be it. They'll run off and leave their family and friends high and dry.
And that's the worst thing about Love - Love can make you blind... And crazy. Nothing else in the world can make a person "foolish" like Love can.
How many times have you seen or heard about someone being in an abusive relationship but was too crazy to even CONSIDER leaving? Their partner may be abusive, uncaring, deceitful, and manipulative, but to the person in love, this low-down dirty butthole is a saint. Or, the abused person feels that ONE Day this bum will change and their lives will be great and they'll live happily ever after.
You could talk until you were blue in the face but the person in love won't give up the relationship no matter what you say or do. They'd give up on your friendship first before they let that scoundrel or chickenhead hoodrat go.
Love can make a person do some strange things.
But what makes people so crazy insane with Love?
Who knows how it it happens.
Being treated like you've never been treated before?
Being with someone you've fantasized about? Or someone who's just amazing?
Being with someone who makes you forget all of your problems?
Being with someone who makes you laugh?
Being with someone who makes you look at Life and World diffently?
Being with someone who's powerful?
Experiencing something and someone on a level you've never imagined?
Who knows why people fall in love. Everybody has their own reasons.
It could start out as lust, infatuation, or a crush (things that revolve around beauty and/or a fantasy), but certain events and new situations can turn two people completely around and transform their lives.
Even two people who didn't like each other in the beginning somehow end up dating and fall in love.
Sometimes you see beautiful women and handsome men fall in love with mud-ducks, hoodrats, nerds, and scrubs. These people may have thought they had nothing in common, but once they got to know each other - BAM - it was on and poppin'. Now, they can't stay away from each other.
I was bitten by the "love-bug"...
I don't remember WHEN or HOW I fell in love, it just snuck-up on me. In the beginning we hung out occasionaly. Maybe once or twice a week. But, the more I got to know Her, the more I wanted to spend time with Her.
She was fun to be with. She made me happy. Whenever I was stressed out, She knew how to make me feel calm and relaxed. Sometimes She even made me laugh at myself. But, She was always an inspiration to me. She was like my muse and my mentor. I felt open enough to share everything I was feeling inside with Her. She was like Therapy. No one ever made me feel like that.
Don't get me wrong, She pissed me off many times too, and we had our disagreements but no matter how bad things got, I was glad She was a part of my life and I didn't know what I'd do without Her. She meant the World to me.
I loved Her so much, I started hanging out with Her EVERY single day.
Everything about our relationship seemed normal to me. But, really, I had became obsessed with Her.
I gave Her my money. I neglected my other interests. I neglected my friends. I thought about Her when I was at work. I thought of Her just before I fell asleep. I fantasized about our relationship. I daydreamed about spending the rest of my life with Her and was afraid of what would happen to me without Her. Almost everything I did in life was for Her. And, I was more than happy to do it.
She meant everything to me.
So, this is what I have to say about Love...
To me, Love is Devotion - Being devoted to someone without concern for anything else in Life. You go to sleep and your mind is on him or her. You wake up and your first thought is this person you love. Everything you do is for this guy or girl. All of your time and energy is devoted to this ONE person and relationship. You start your family and work towards certain goals in life because of this person. Thoughts of him or her consume you everyday, every hour, almost every minute of your life. You can't help it. This man or woman amazes you. Everything about him or her is beautiful and turns you on. At times you may even fear losing this person and you pray to God that he or she - this person you love - is okay or that YOU will always be there to make sure he or she is okay.
Some people say that True Love motivates you and inspires you, and I believe that as well, but I've also seen that (sometimes) Love comes with the wrong KIND of inspiration and motivation.
I don't think you ever really know what Love is like or if you're in love until you're tested by the "temptations of Life". What are you willing do FOR this person? How far are you willing to go to KEEP this person in your life? What are you willing to do to BE with this person? What are you willing to do to PROVE your Love? You never know until you're living a life of Love and Love seems to be all around you.
You can't control it. It controls You.
That's why it amazes me that people who cheat can say they're in love.
How can a cheatin-ass man or woman claim to be in love - and devoted - when he or she is out chasing hoes and hoodrats in the streets??? What's lovely about that?
Don't get me wrong, I know Temptation is hell and Addictions are hard to fight, but a lot of people are out there playing games and waffling - claiming to be in love - and making up all kinds of excuses (lying like hell) because they're ashamed they got caught.
On the OTHER hand...
I've known some people who HAVE cheated but who never thought of giving up what they had at home to devote their lives to someone else. Some of these people were married, some were just dating, some had children, some didn't, some lived together, some didn't. But some of those cheaters got into arguments with their "friends" because they flat out refused to leave the person they truly loved.
So, it's all a mystery.
I guess there are certain levels of Devotion since there are certain levels of Love.
Some people know how to share love and some don't. Some people are selfish, jealous, and destructive when it comes to love. And, some are inspired to do good when they feel it. Like everything else in Life, you just never know what you'll get.
This is probably why some people have said you shouldn't look for Love or that it's dangerous to look for Love - You might end up with a type of love you'll regret.
It's possible that the man or woman you love may never REALLY know how much you love him or her until you take your very last breath - and vice versa. Sometimes it takes tragedy to open our eyes and realize how much we're loved.
That's a shame but most of the time, that's the way it is.
The proof could be staring the one you love right in the face. You could speak with words and actions, and they STILL won't believe it, appreciate it, or show you how much THEY care.
I have two beliefs about Love...
With the right Love in your Life, you can conquer The World. With the wrong Love in your Life, you can destroy your own.
But, this is how I feel about Love.
What about you?
- loveqna
Bad Romance: Haters In Your Love-Life
Have you ever been in a relationship that was full of drama and B.S. because OTHER people were involved and meddling "in your business"?
Maybe it was your Lover's dumbass Best Friend...
Or, a sister-in-law who thought the world revolved around her...
Or, a spiteful and/or controlling mother-in-law...
Maybe it was an Ex trying to break you and your Man (or Woman) up.
Or, a backstabbing "fake-ass friend" or acquaintance trying to sneak in and steal your Lover away from you...
You probably had to cuss somebody's Ass out, didn't you? If you didn't, I know you WANTED to.
Why are these people worried about what's going on in YOUR relationship??? Why are they worried about what's going on between your YOU and your Sweetheart?
You don't bother them but they Antagonize you for NO Reason. They spread lies. They reveal your secrets to others or will let your lover know anything you've said to them in confidence. They spy on you. They try to make your lover suspicious of you or deceive you...
Why are they trying to get you riled up?
What in the hell is wrong with these people???
Everything.
Most of them are lonely and want attention. Some of them are bored with their lives. Some of them have been instigators all their lives and all they do is make trouble. Some of them are blabber-mouths and compulsive liars and gossips. Most of them enjoy manipulating and controlling other people. Some ovem are jealous...
Who knows why this person (or, these people Have) a personal vindetta against you.
Maybe your personalities just don't click with each other and you don't have much to talk about.
Maybe they think you're supposed to be in awe of them.
Maybe they've been bullied and hurt and want to take their frustrations out on you.
Maybe they think you're a snob - or, not good enough for his or her friend.
Or MAYBE...
The hater is angry that you're NOT pursuing him or her.
Who knows what's wrong with this person or these people. Could be any reason.
Sometimes we're just misunderstood - and often that's what the problem is.
True. Some people are just evil as hell too.
I've been in relationships where I've had to deal with all kinds of haters.
But, I didn't give a damn.
The hell withem.
There are a LOT of people in the world with that "problem". Many of them don't even HAVE a relationship or a Love to call their own, yet they're all in YOUR relationship giving your partner all kinds of Advice (NEGATIVE advice) about sh*t they know NOTHING about.
They don't have any experience with the situation. They can't maintain a relationship. All they have is a dumbass opinion based on what some other dumbass has said. They're just like people who try to tell you how to raise kids and they don't even have kids. Or, someone who tries to tell you how to improve your marriage and they've never been engaged.
They just love to run their mouth because it makes them feel good someone is confiding in them and asking for their opinion.
Or...
They're in a relationship that (more than likely) sucks - or it's boring as hell - so, they want to entertain themselves by meddling and keeping track of what's going on in your love-life like they're part of a reality show or watching a soap opera on TV.
Now, I don't want to trouble your mind with the thought of haters and hating (Every time you turn around somebody's talking about "Hatin'") but that's what most of them are - haters.
What else would you call someone who's backstabbing you and trying to "dirty-up" your name and reputation for no reason other than you are dating their son, daughter, sibling, or close friend?
Or, even worse, just because he, she, or THEY don't like you - for Whatever reason. Maybe you like green eggs and ham and they don't like people who eat pork.
There might be people hating on you right now that You don't even Know (and that don't know you), but they dislike you because of the negative comments and opinions someone else has made about you.
Now (to be fair), some of us are involved with a mate (or dating someone) who talks WAY too much. He or she runs around talking about all the problems you two are having and what YOU'RE doing wrong, or you're not giving him or her enough time and attention, or you're wasting money, or you're not understanding enough, or whatever. So, of course, his or her friends are going to believe that one-sided story and offer their suggestions about how your lover should deal with you.
But, some of those so-called friends are fake-ass backstabbers.
They love Drama. And as long as your lover will talk, they'll listen and offer their advice.
Look at Monica Lewinsky... "Oh, I'm kickin' it with the President. He's my Boo. And, we've been doing this and that... And I love him and blah, blah, blah...
That dumb broad ran around telling ALL of their business. And those other women, Linda Tripp and Lucianne Goldberg, loved it. They were gonna hang your boy, Bill Clinton, out to dry. And, it was one of best "Soap Operas" of all time.
Well, maybe that's not a good example...
Linda and Lucianne were hatin' for sure, But...
If you're telling the TRUTH about someone - although it's negative - is that really hatin'?
Let's say, for instance, you have a friend who is in a relationship with a bad boy or bad girl who only uses your friend for his or her money. While your friend is at work, this bad boy (or bad girl) is sitting around the house all day doing nothing. Or, out joy-riding with other people in your friend's car. Your friend is stressed out, wore out, broke as hell, and this sorry-ass slob is sitting around eating your poor friend out of house and home. And, on top of that, talkin' sh*t like he or she OWNS the place. Like she (or he) "pays the cost to be the Boss" of the castle...
Now... It's a sunny day and you're out for a stroll and you just happen to see the love of your friend's life, hugged-up and smoochin' with some hoodrat you've never seen before.
Now, do you tell your friend what you've seen or do you ignore it?
If you tell, are you hatin' on his (or her) Boo? Are you snitchin'? Or, are you Saving your friend from deceit and manipulation and protecting him or her from looking like a fool?
Now, let's keep it real:
If someone is giving facts about you - though they are negative - it's not hatin'.
The person may hate you, hate your ways, hate how you treat their friend, and not respect you, but if they hate you because you're a negative person who's abusing and/or manipulating their friend, then they SHOULD step in and say something.
Any good friend WOULD speak up and try to run the hoodrat hooligan off.
How can you hate on someone who's trying to destroy another person's life or drag your friend downhill - or make him or her crazy?
How are you hating on a manipulator who's emotionally abusive, pessimistic, and unsupportive of your friend?
Only an enemy would sit by and let a friend fall into that kind of trap.
Don't hate the "player". Hate the game. And, if the player's game is EFFed-up then you Step-up and use your game to get rid of the scoundrel - or chickenhead, that's what I say.
I'm not saying that the hater should bring you down, but they should at least suggest that you two get counseling or separate for a while if the relationship is dangerously in turmoil. It doesn't make sense to ruin or destroy your lives when there are so many other opportunities for real love out here.
Anyway...
Now, let's put the Real haters on blast...
Here are a few SPECIFIC reasons why haters hate and what you can do to keep your relationship from being victimized by those dirty-mouth low-life busters...
(I don't think anybody's going to buy my book with the language I use.)
There are all kinds of haters.
Exes (yours or your lover's) - who can't make up their mind whether they want to break-up or stay together. Your Lover's Ex who doesn't want to see your lover happy or dating anyone else. Or, your Ex who feels the same way and will do things to try to scare your new Lover off. An Ex (yours or your lover's) who constantly calls, flirts, or tries to do other things to make you or your lover jealous.
Friends (yours or your lover's) - over-zealous friends who want to protect and guide their friend's relationship. Or, even control it. Friends who want to keep their cliques intact so that they can continue to party and hang-out as a group. They're afraid of growing up or losing their friendships to other people. or, splitting up their group.
a Best Friend - This friend simply may not think you're good enough or good-looking enough. He or she might not like your style. The best friend may be afraid you're going to steal his or her friend away and hate on you for that reason.
Children (yes, those little rug-rats too) - The children might not trust you, or they would rather see their biological parents together, or they don't want you kissing and hugging on their Mom or Dad because they want all the love and attention.
Mother-in-law - I've never had a mother-in-law or father-in-law but from what I've heard and seen, some mother-in-laws want to "run the show". They think of their son or daughter as their baby and want to have a say in how they live their lives. If you're not careful to show them the respect they believe you should be showing, you won't be accepted by them until you apologize or correct your error - or ways.
And, there are people who will doubt your integrity and faithfulness to the relationship that don't even know you.
Brother-in-law
Sister-in-law
Favorite cousins
Co-workers
School Mates
And, God only knows who else...
You might've heard the saying "All is fair in love and war". Whether you agree with it or not, some people Really do live by that philosophy. And, they'll try their best to entice your Lover and steal him or her away from you. They'll lie. They'll flirt. They'll give gifts and trinkets. They will perform all types of favors for your Sweetheart in hopes of stealing him or her away from you - forever or for one night.
Most haters hate because of jealousy. We all know that. But, when SOME of them realize you have "something good", they want it. And, just like any other hatin'-ass thief, they'll try to steal it.
You can't get rid of haters and you can't get away from them. Because no matter where you go or what you do, there will be a hater lurking in the midst. So, just keep on truckin'...
You could be the sweetest person in the world - someone who loves to laugh and have fun; Someone who does their best to try and help others - but, if you forget to help one person, or CAN'T help him or her - watch and see what happens... That person will tell everybody and Anybody who'll listen, that you're uncaring, unreliable, unhelpful, and under-handed. They'll claim that you'll only help those who suck-up to you and that you show favoritism to certain people. For one error, they'll tell a million lies and do all kinds of underhanded crap to try and make you look bad.
You may end up having to cussem out and read them their rights, but Don't focus your energy on them. Stay focused on improving the relationship you have with your lover (your spouse, gf, bf, fiance, etc.).
Make sure you show your Lover some love on a regular basis and don't waste your time with the haters.
Sh*t happens. We all make mistakes. We all sometimes forget. All you can do is apologize (if you remember to do it) and move on. If they want to change their ways, cool. If not, it's not like you've lost a best friend. Keep on rollin'.
It's difficult not to fight that battle with the hater. Sometimes you have to put the hater in check. BUT... It's REALLY something that your lover should address if it's his or her friend or family member or co-worker or admirer.
It doesn't matter if the hater is Mom, Dad, Uncle, Aunt, Grandma, or Grandpa. Your lover should be the one to nip all of that hating in the bud.
If you two are happy with your relationship and trying to make it better, there's nothing that should be said by anybody on the "outside". They're on the outside looking in. What in the world do they know about what's really going on between you two???
They don't know the details of your Situation or what kind of "arrangement" you have or what your relationship goals are. So, they need to shut the hell up and mind their business.
Your Lover's family and friends don't have to praise you, but if all they have is negative things to say to your Lover about you, then he or she should stay away from those negative vibes - if you two are truly in love.
I know that sounds harsh. And, I wouldn't say this of a passing flame or someone who's abusive or selfish. But, if it's TRUE love, And, you KNOW - and can see and can FEEL the Love this person wants to give and show you - you've got to do the right thing.
Who's Life is it anyway?
Do you tell them who to date or who to love? Do you tell them how to live THEIR lives?
Would they accept your advice or opinion about their relationship?
Do they ever ask you for your advice or opinion concerning their relationships?
Probably not.
So, why should anyone give a fat baby's ass about what they think?
If you have to listen to that negativity, "man-up" or "woman-up" and be strong...
It takes a Strong Woman or Strong Man to keep the haters they love and have grown up with in check.
If it's True Love, there's nothing ANYONE can say to make you change your mind anyway.
But, the drama could still cause your Lover grief and bring turmoil to your relationship. That's why you have to nip it in the bud or put those haters in check yourself. And show the love of your life that you truly care about how he or she feels.
It's not always about the fact that YOU don't care what people say. It's about the fact that you care about the one you love and how he or she feels. Some people can't deal with all of that nonsense and NOBODY wants to deal with it.
All of that Stress and worry from Drama, Backstabbing, People manipulating you or TRYING to influence you to leave or turn against him or her, Lies, Defamation of character... All of that can wear a person out mentally AND emotionally - AND Physically. It can change them and make them hostile, irritable, disappointed in you.
Sometimes you have to make a HARD choice. Although you care about both people and love both of them, you have to handle the situation.
Those people have already had their chance at love, been married, settled down and had their families, now it's your turn to live your life and do the same - if that's your goal. Either way, it's still your relationship and YOUR life. Nobody can live it except you.
Save yourself from a miserable existence. Don't get involved with a weak-minded woman or weak-minded man. Avoid followers and people who need the approval of their family and friends to be happy.
If their family or friends don't like you but they do, they'll want to keep you around but they won't stick up for you or have your back in your time of dispair and misery.
They'll allow you to be abused and ill-treated by their friends - or even one of their parents. You'll be better off walking away and finding someone new.
Don't get trapped in a "broken relationship" where you'll have to deal with a lot of foolishness and animosity for 18 years.
Now, here's the deal...
The BEST way to nip all of that family and friend drama in the bud is to meet and get involved with someone who's Independent, Supportive, and who has a Strong Mind. Leave those weak-minded approval-seeking people alone.
The Second Best way is Natural. You don't have to kiss anybody's butt. But... be sociable, be friendly, be polite, be respectful, and be yourself.
Treat them the way you would want to be treated. And if they still want to hate on you, the hell withem.
- loveqna
Maybe it was your Lover's dumbass Best Friend...
Or, a sister-in-law who thought the world revolved around her...
Or, a spiteful and/or controlling mother-in-law...
Maybe it was an Ex trying to break you and your Man (or Woman) up.
Or, a backstabbing "fake-ass friend" or acquaintance trying to sneak in and steal your Lover away from you...
You probably had to cuss somebody's Ass out, didn't you? If you didn't, I know you WANTED to.
Why are these people worried about what's going on in YOUR relationship??? Why are they worried about what's going on between your YOU and your Sweetheart?
You don't bother them but they Antagonize you for NO Reason. They spread lies. They reveal your secrets to others or will let your lover know anything you've said to them in confidence. They spy on you. They try to make your lover suspicious of you or deceive you...
Why are they trying to get you riled up?
What in the hell is wrong with these people???
Everything.
Most of them are lonely and want attention. Some of them are bored with their lives. Some of them have been instigators all their lives and all they do is make trouble. Some of them are blabber-mouths and compulsive liars and gossips. Most of them enjoy manipulating and controlling other people. Some ovem are jealous...
Who knows why this person (or, these people Have) a personal vindetta against you.
Maybe your personalities just don't click with each other and you don't have much to talk about.
Maybe they think you're supposed to be in awe of them.
Maybe they've been bullied and hurt and want to take their frustrations out on you.
Maybe they think you're a snob - or, not good enough for his or her friend.
Or MAYBE...
The hater is angry that you're NOT pursuing him or her.
Who knows what's wrong with this person or these people. Could be any reason.
Sometimes we're just misunderstood - and often that's what the problem is.
True. Some people are just evil as hell too.
I've been in relationships where I've had to deal with all kinds of haters.
But, I didn't give a damn.
The hell withem.
There are a LOT of people in the world with that "problem". Many of them don't even HAVE a relationship or a Love to call their own, yet they're all in YOUR relationship giving your partner all kinds of Advice (NEGATIVE advice) about sh*t they know NOTHING about.
They don't have any experience with the situation. They can't maintain a relationship. All they have is a dumbass opinion based on what some other dumbass has said. They're just like people who try to tell you how to raise kids and they don't even have kids. Or, someone who tries to tell you how to improve your marriage and they've never been engaged.
They just love to run their mouth because it makes them feel good someone is confiding in them and asking for their opinion.
Or...
They're in a relationship that (more than likely) sucks - or it's boring as hell - so, they want to entertain themselves by meddling and keeping track of what's going on in your love-life like they're part of a reality show or watching a soap opera on TV.
Now, I don't want to trouble your mind with the thought of haters and hating (Every time you turn around somebody's talking about "Hatin'") but that's what most of them are - haters.
What else would you call someone who's backstabbing you and trying to "dirty-up" your name and reputation for no reason other than you are dating their son, daughter, sibling, or close friend?
Or, even worse, just because he, she, or THEY don't like you - for Whatever reason. Maybe you like green eggs and ham and they don't like people who eat pork.
There might be people hating on you right now that You don't even Know (and that don't know you), but they dislike you because of the negative comments and opinions someone else has made about you.
Now (to be fair), some of us are involved with a mate (or dating someone) who talks WAY too much. He or she runs around talking about all the problems you two are having and what YOU'RE doing wrong, or you're not giving him or her enough time and attention, or you're wasting money, or you're not understanding enough, or whatever. So, of course, his or her friends are going to believe that one-sided story and offer their suggestions about how your lover should deal with you.
But, some of those so-called friends are fake-ass backstabbers.
They love Drama. And as long as your lover will talk, they'll listen and offer their advice.
Look at Monica Lewinsky... "Oh, I'm kickin' it with the President. He's my Boo. And, we've been doing this and that... And I love him and blah, blah, blah...
That dumb broad ran around telling ALL of their business. And those other women, Linda Tripp and Lucianne Goldberg, loved it. They were gonna hang your boy, Bill Clinton, out to dry. And, it was one of best "Soap Operas" of all time.
Well, maybe that's not a good example...
Linda and Lucianne were hatin' for sure, But...
If you're telling the TRUTH about someone - although it's negative - is that really hatin'?
Let's say, for instance, you have a friend who is in a relationship with a bad boy or bad girl who only uses your friend for his or her money. While your friend is at work, this bad boy (or bad girl) is sitting around the house all day doing nothing. Or, out joy-riding with other people in your friend's car. Your friend is stressed out, wore out, broke as hell, and this sorry-ass slob is sitting around eating your poor friend out of house and home. And, on top of that, talkin' sh*t like he or she OWNS the place. Like she (or he) "pays the cost to be the Boss" of the castle...
Now... It's a sunny day and you're out for a stroll and you just happen to see the love of your friend's life, hugged-up and smoochin' with some hoodrat you've never seen before.
Now, do you tell your friend what you've seen or do you ignore it?
If you tell, are you hatin' on his (or her) Boo? Are you snitchin'? Or, are you Saving your friend from deceit and manipulation and protecting him or her from looking like a fool?
Now, let's keep it real:
If someone is giving facts about you - though they are negative - it's not hatin'.
The person may hate you, hate your ways, hate how you treat their friend, and not respect you, but if they hate you because you're a negative person who's abusing and/or manipulating their friend, then they SHOULD step in and say something.
Any good friend WOULD speak up and try to run the hoodrat hooligan off.
How can you hate on someone who's trying to destroy another person's life or drag your friend downhill - or make him or her crazy?
How are you hating on a manipulator who's emotionally abusive, pessimistic, and unsupportive of your friend?
Only an enemy would sit by and let a friend fall into that kind of trap.
Don't hate the "player". Hate the game. And, if the player's game is EFFed-up then you Step-up and use your game to get rid of the scoundrel - or chickenhead, that's what I say.
I'm not saying that the hater should bring you down, but they should at least suggest that you two get counseling or separate for a while if the relationship is dangerously in turmoil. It doesn't make sense to ruin or destroy your lives when there are so many other opportunities for real love out here.
Anyway...
Now, let's put the Real haters on blast...
Here are a few SPECIFIC reasons why haters hate and what you can do to keep your relationship from being victimized by those dirty-mouth low-life busters...
(I don't think anybody's going to buy my book with the language I use.)
There are all kinds of haters.
Exes (yours or your lover's) - who can't make up their mind whether they want to break-up or stay together. Your Lover's Ex who doesn't want to see your lover happy or dating anyone else. Or, your Ex who feels the same way and will do things to try to scare your new Lover off. An Ex (yours or your lover's) who constantly calls, flirts, or tries to do other things to make you or your lover jealous.
Friends (yours or your lover's) - over-zealous friends who want to protect and guide their friend's relationship. Or, even control it. Friends who want to keep their cliques intact so that they can continue to party and hang-out as a group. They're afraid of growing up or losing their friendships to other people. or, splitting up their group.
a Best Friend - This friend simply may not think you're good enough or good-looking enough. He or she might not like your style. The best friend may be afraid you're going to steal his or her friend away and hate on you for that reason.
Children (yes, those little rug-rats too) - The children might not trust you, or they would rather see their biological parents together, or they don't want you kissing and hugging on their Mom or Dad because they want all the love and attention.
Mother-in-law - I've never had a mother-in-law or father-in-law but from what I've heard and seen, some mother-in-laws want to "run the show". They think of their son or daughter as their baby and want to have a say in how they live their lives. If you're not careful to show them the respect they believe you should be showing, you won't be accepted by them until you apologize or correct your error - or ways.
And, there are people who will doubt your integrity and faithfulness to the relationship that don't even know you.
Brother-in-law
Sister-in-law
Favorite cousins
Co-workers
School Mates
And, God only knows who else...
You might've heard the saying "All is fair in love and war". Whether you agree with it or not, some people Really do live by that philosophy. And, they'll try their best to entice your Lover and steal him or her away from you. They'll lie. They'll flirt. They'll give gifts and trinkets. They will perform all types of favors for your Sweetheart in hopes of stealing him or her away from you - forever or for one night.
Most haters hate because of jealousy. We all know that. But, when SOME of them realize you have "something good", they want it. And, just like any other hatin'-ass thief, they'll try to steal it.
You can't get rid of haters and you can't get away from them. Because no matter where you go or what you do, there will be a hater lurking in the midst. So, just keep on truckin'...
You could be the sweetest person in the world - someone who loves to laugh and have fun; Someone who does their best to try and help others - but, if you forget to help one person, or CAN'T help him or her - watch and see what happens... That person will tell everybody and Anybody who'll listen, that you're uncaring, unreliable, unhelpful, and under-handed. They'll claim that you'll only help those who suck-up to you and that you show favoritism to certain people. For one error, they'll tell a million lies and do all kinds of underhanded crap to try and make you look bad.
You may end up having to cussem out and read them their rights, but Don't focus your energy on them. Stay focused on improving the relationship you have with your lover (your spouse, gf, bf, fiance, etc.).
Make sure you show your Lover some love on a regular basis and don't waste your time with the haters.
Sh*t happens. We all make mistakes. We all sometimes forget. All you can do is apologize (if you remember to do it) and move on. If they want to change their ways, cool. If not, it's not like you've lost a best friend. Keep on rollin'.
It's difficult not to fight that battle with the hater. Sometimes you have to put the hater in check. BUT... It's REALLY something that your lover should address if it's his or her friend or family member or co-worker or admirer.
It doesn't matter if the hater is Mom, Dad, Uncle, Aunt, Grandma, or Grandpa. Your lover should be the one to nip all of that hating in the bud.
If you two are happy with your relationship and trying to make it better, there's nothing that should be said by anybody on the "outside". They're on the outside looking in. What in the world do they know about what's really going on between you two???
They don't know the details of your Situation or what kind of "arrangement" you have or what your relationship goals are. So, they need to shut the hell up and mind their business.
Your Lover's family and friends don't have to praise you, but if all they have is negative things to say to your Lover about you, then he or she should stay away from those negative vibes - if you two are truly in love.
I know that sounds harsh. And, I wouldn't say this of a passing flame or someone who's abusive or selfish. But, if it's TRUE love, And, you KNOW - and can see and can FEEL the Love this person wants to give and show you - you've got to do the right thing.
Who's Life is it anyway?
Do you tell them who to date or who to love? Do you tell them how to live THEIR lives?
Would they accept your advice or opinion about their relationship?
Do they ever ask you for your advice or opinion concerning their relationships?
Probably not.
So, why should anyone give a fat baby's ass about what they think?
If you have to listen to that negativity, "man-up" or "woman-up" and be strong...
It takes a Strong Woman or Strong Man to keep the haters they love and have grown up with in check.
If it's True Love, there's nothing ANYONE can say to make you change your mind anyway.
But, the drama could still cause your Lover grief and bring turmoil to your relationship. That's why you have to nip it in the bud or put those haters in check yourself. And show the love of your life that you truly care about how he or she feels.
It's not always about the fact that YOU don't care what people say. It's about the fact that you care about the one you love and how he or she feels. Some people can't deal with all of that nonsense and NOBODY wants to deal with it.
All of that Stress and worry from Drama, Backstabbing, People manipulating you or TRYING to influence you to leave or turn against him or her, Lies, Defamation of character... All of that can wear a person out mentally AND emotionally - AND Physically. It can change them and make them hostile, irritable, disappointed in you.
Sometimes you have to make a HARD choice. Although you care about both people and love both of them, you have to handle the situation.
Those people have already had their chance at love, been married, settled down and had their families, now it's your turn to live your life and do the same - if that's your goal. Either way, it's still your relationship and YOUR life. Nobody can live it except you.
Save yourself from a miserable existence. Don't get involved with a weak-minded woman or weak-minded man. Avoid followers and people who need the approval of their family and friends to be happy.
If their family or friends don't like you but they do, they'll want to keep you around but they won't stick up for you or have your back in your time of dispair and misery.
They'll allow you to be abused and ill-treated by their friends - or even one of their parents. You'll be better off walking away and finding someone new.
Don't get trapped in a "broken relationship" where you'll have to deal with a lot of foolishness and animosity for 18 years.
Now, here's the deal...
The BEST way to nip all of that family and friend drama in the bud is to meet and get involved with someone who's Independent, Supportive, and who has a Strong Mind. Leave those weak-minded approval-seeking people alone.
The Second Best way is Natural. You don't have to kiss anybody's butt. But... be sociable, be friendly, be polite, be respectful, and be yourself.
Treat them the way you would want to be treated. And if they still want to hate on you, the hell withem.
- loveqna
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