Notes - Suicide Is Not The Answer To Your Problems In Life - 2

A few notes I've been wanting to post sparked by a friend on Yahoo Answers...

Why Suicide is NOT the answer to your problems:

first of all, you MIGHT feel as though people would rather have you gone or would miss you but you really don't know.

second, you don't how severe this step you're thinking of taking would torment the ones you love. when we lose someone we love, it hurts really bad and lasts for a long long long time, trust me.

third, you don't know what the future holds or whose life you will touch or who you help in the times to come. you may save dozens of lives or help someone who is also suffering. or, someone less fortunate or someone in desperate need of advice or friendship or kindness.

and, to be loved, you have to be lovable. you have to reach out to people. give of yourself. give of your time, friendship, and advice.

i know from experience that someone loves you or wants to love you - maybe you just haven't met that person yet. give it time.

stop traveling around and around in the same circles and make new friends. they don't have to outgoing people. make friends with nerds or old folks or skaters or christians or whoever. do something new.

don't let your life become monotonous and boring. that only makes things worse.

there are many dimensions to life and learning and teaching and helping. and you can do any part of it you wish if you open your mind and strive for more.

don't let abuse get you down. there are other people who have experienced this and talk about this all the time. they try to help others overcome it. you can do that too.

if you don't want to join in helping others with that, help them with depression. talk about how you've dealt with it and survived it up to this point. if you don't want to talk about that, learn something new or in a similar field like psychology or law - or become a counselor. or, learn to work on cars. or, learn to ride motorcycles. or, write a book. or become a chef. or, learn to bake different kinds of cookies. whatever.

life is an adventure. do what you like but live it up!

Suicide Is Not The Answer To Your Problems In Life

I know Life sucks for a lot of people right now.

There are many people out here going through a lot of B.S. and crap that a lot of us could not imagine.

Some people are haunted by bad memories. Some people are feeling out of place and out of touch with reality. Some people feel like they don't fit in. And, some people are just full of sadness and pain and don't have any idea why.

Maybe you feel all alone...

It's possible that there's some jerk in your life causing you nothing but grief, confusion, and anguish.

Maybe you see no hope in your future.

I won't lie and say that you can conquer these feelings. Some people are surrounded by friends, family members, and lovers, and still feel empty inside.

They've went to doctors and experts and still didn't find a cure.

They've taken medications but to no avail.

Some of them have tried to conquer their issues with "religion" but that didn't help.

I've been one of those people.

I AM one of those people.

I'm tormented by bad memories every day.

I've been depressed for months and years at a time (even before I was a teen).

I've had more "downs" than "ups" in life.

I've thought about "giving up" quite a few times. And, came close several times.

To be honest, I don't know if I'll have those thoughts OR not. I don't know.

But, one thing I DO know is: I see a purpose for my being here.

We all have a purpose for being here. Me. You. Everybody.

And, you shouldn't ruin your purpose in life due to the trials of life.

There will always be obstacles to face and fight - but, that's just how Life is. It's a series of "tests".

Some things in Life test your emotions. Some things in Life test your intellect. Some things in Life test your Inner Strength.

And, it's Not always about conquering these "tests" that makes us stronger. Sometimes it's how we are able to DEAL with these "tests" that makes us stronger - AND WISER.

And, what is the Benefit of this?

To answer this question, we have to "go deep".

We have to look way way waaay out beyond all space and time.

Now, I don't want to give you the impression that I'm trying to sound like some spiritual guru or Jedi Master or something, but, for a moment, I want you to think about your Karma and the wisdom that you possess and WILL possess as you move forward throughout your life.

There are many things you will learn. The knowledge you gain will make you mentally and emotionally and socially and spiritually stronger.

Your instincts about Life will improve and you will be wiser. Wiser than those who will come after you.

Everyday, you are growing, improving, advancing, gaining insight and learning.

Although it doesn't seem like it (because it's a slow process), you are evolving - either mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or socially, or whatever. Some aspect of your life (besides your age) is advancing whether you realize it or not.

Even when we aren't learning more about ourselves or how to conquer Life's issues we are learning Something.

Hell, you might not realize it, but your instincts about Life are improving every single day! Because you're taking in all of your experiences. All that you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.

You're learning from your Senses, Imagination, AND Emotions.

All of this stuff is taking you to a higher level each and every day of your life!

Now, some people might ask: "What the hell good is all of this learning and acquiring wisdom and building Karma if I'm only gonna die one day anyway?"

That's selfish thinking. And, the dumbest shit anyone could ever fix their soup-suckers (lips) to say.

What in the hell do they think they're supposed to do with all of that knowledge, wisdom, learning, and Karma???

You pass it on to the next generation so that they can learn, improve, grow, advance, and pass on what they've learned from you to the next generation!

In this way, the World KEEPS advancing and evolving! And, sooner or later, we'll get rid of all of the nuts and mean-spirited people who don't belong here and the World will be a better place.

But, there's another reason why we're here also (and, why you may be going through the issues in which you're going through).

We don't see things, hear things, and experience things just so that we can sit around and whine and complain and gossip about them. Much of the things we go through in Life (especially our mistakes) are so that we can learn from them and teach others (those who need and seek our help) how to overcome the same situations and troubles. Or, how to avoid the mistakes that WE made.

That's your Purpose in Life as a human being. To learn, to grow, and to give information, knowledge, or wisdom to another! To share some news, or info, or a skill with another person. To Teach! Not only your children but anyone who needs teaching or your guidance about things in Life.

Like:

- how to become successful
- how to make a marriage work
- how to get out of a bad relationship
- how to fight depression
- how to overcome sadness
- how to fish and feed themselves

Whatever!

No matter what you're going through, you can learn to conquer it OR deal with it and teach the next guy or girl how to do the same. This is a benefit because you will help yourself in the process.

When this girl or guy comes for your help, You will discover changes in your OWN life that need to be made. You will start to see certain mistakes that you are making that you haven't seen before. You will be more aware of traps and pitfalls that keep tripping you up and causing you to experience grief and drama. Your confidence will also move to higher levels as your knowledge, wisdom, and instincts continue to grow.

Don't let a bad relationship get you down.

Don't let "new chapters" in Life confuse you or the passing of Time break your heart.

Don't let these mean men and women drive you insane.

Don't let a bad economy or lack of money break your spirit.

Keep Moving!

Realize what is REALLY important in Life and you will Learn to overcome your "tests" in Life.

Help others and You will also help yourself.

- loveqna

The Worst Mistake Any Man Or Woman Can Make

There's something I hate to admit but I won't feel good about this post unless I come clean and tell you about it.

The other night, I was severely distraught over a new girl I met. I was almost in tears.

I know this chick is crazy for me. I like her a lot too. But, I can see all the drama looming ahead.

I think she's crazy as hell.

I'm almost sure that one day she's gonna "snap".

And that's too bad because she's an attractive girl with beautiful brown eyes, a great smile, a sweet personality; kind, witty, caring, a great hostess, energetic, hard-working. She has a lot of positive traits.

But... She has a "dark side" too that I've Heard about.

Her zodiac sign is Gemini. And, you know Geminis have split personalities. So, I'm almost sure everything I've heard is true.

People that know her say that she starts arguments and that she lies a lot.

I've already mentioned in an earlier post that she is imposing, stubborn, and won't take "no" for an answer.

I'm starting to wonder if I can trust her emotions.

I've seen how she takes her father's goodwill and generosity for granted and it's not cool at all. I was embarrassed by it. She used his SUV to help move a friend and kept the vehicle way way too long without calling and letting him know that everything was okay. He had to called HER to find out what was going on. And when we returned the vehicle, she barely thanked him. Her only concern was getting rid of the SUV and going home. It was totally disrespectful. I couldn't believe it. Not from her.

But, this girl is so sweet so I don't get it.

And, I'm at a crossroads because I like "bad girls", but at the same time, I want to have a girl who's sweet.

So far, she seems happy whenever she's with me. But, who knows, she could also be just as happy with anyone else. I'm thinking she may be fickle. But, I don't know for sure.

What stresses me out is: I don't want this girl to change. I like her just as she is.

But, what if everything I like is all a facade? Or, a charade? You know how sweet people are when you first meet them, then, later on, they start to change.

I might not know until it was too late and our friendship was ruined. We've already gone too far. We've gotten too close.

I trust my instincts. I believe there will be a lot of drama. But, I'm hoping I'm wrong.

I could still drop everything and just stop talking to this chick and avoid her but, deep down, I feel she needs me.

(have you ever felt like that??? that helping someone with their life or giving them guidance could help their and many other lives in return? like: your words, wisdom, and guidance could change them and have a phenomenal impact on helping them improve and succeed in life. It changes you too. Giving you good vibes inside and improving your spiritual awareness.)

Maybe I'm crazy, but I think I could have a positive impact on her life. And, I think she could help me as well.

This friendship could be a beautiful thing.

But, I'm afraid of the drama.

But, I'm also afraid of letting her go.

The reason I'm afraid of ignoring this potential relationship is because I've let some good girls get away from me before.

For the most part, I'm a nice guy. I try to do the right things and treat people right. But, I've been a terrible love-mate to girls that I was damn lucky to be involved with.

Not only were these good girls some real hotties who were sweet and supportive, but they were Devoted.

They cooked for me. They spent money on me. They treated me out to dinners and movies. They stood up for me when haters tried to sweet-talk Them (or bad-mouth Me).

I had dime-pieces asking me to marry them or to move in with them all the time.

These girls wanted to see me succeed and tried to give me advice or help in one way or the other.

Like many men (and women), I was just a fool.

I didn't realize how good I had it. I didn't realize what a thing I had at the time: A good woman and a good relationship.

But, I was greedy for companionship and sex.

Or, I was afraid of being tied down.

And, I was addicted to partying and having fun.

Plus, I was selfish with my free time.

Most of the time, I was too focused on making money than building a relationship.

My relationships always started out great. But then, after a while, the girl seemed like an intrusion to what I wanted out of life at the time.

I'm not gonna lie. I was a jerk. An asshole.

I'd stand the girl up for dates and lie about why I didn't show up.

Break promises I knew I was going to break before I made them.

I'd ignore her.

I wouldn't call for days (and only when there was nothing better to do).

I'd make fun of her - even if she was hot.

I'd cheat.

I was terrible.

But, through it all - a few years later - I'm still friends with these girls - and women.

I'm not staying in this plush house just because I have pretty face - which I don't...

So, I have to make some kind of decision.

This could be God forgiving me for all of my past sins and giving me my final chance for true love. You never know...

Think about the time (or times) you've had "a good thing" and let it slip away.

I know you would turn back the clock if you could.

You know how hard it is to find something just as good as what you had and how it's almost impossible to find something better.

Only a handful of us are wise enough or lucky enough to hold onto a good man or good woman.

I don't know why but that's just the way it is. Some of us get distracted by the Desires of life and some of us are smart enough to be satisfied with the Blessings we get in life.

I don't plan on continuing my life in circles and going on this merry-go-round of ups and downs.

I'm gonna take advantage of this Blessing - whether it's a friendship or a serious relationship. I know the difference lies within me. Hopefully, I won't have to compromise too much (or FIGHT too much) for it.

Whatever.

If it's "a good thing", I'm not letting it get away from me this time.

- loveqna

Be Careful Who You Make Love To - They'll Work Your Ass To Death

I remember a few months back when people where asking me about becoming a room mate and where I lived and this and that, and I'd have to tell them I already had a roommate. Almost all of them would ask if I lived with a girl or a guy. And, whenever I told them it was a girl (a woman) their eyeballs would damn near pop out of their sockets.

I said, "Damn... Do I look that bad that I can't have a woman for a roommate?"

A couple of them saw this chick and went nuts.

Now, my roommate isn't a beauty queen but she has style and a nice phat ass. I mean, her booty is round and plump. Almost perfect. Men and women are always admiring it and giving her compliments on her body because she stays in shape and she's slim and trim.

So, anyway, she dropped me off at work a few times and a few of my homeboys (or mates) happen to catch a glimpse and ask me why I hadn't tried to tap that ass.

Well, let me just say that tappin' that ass can sometimes lead to a world of trouble...

I've been here for almost a year and I ain't tried to tap that ass yet. And, still, I've been working my ass off!

- washing her car

- killing all kinds of bugs

- vacuuming and cleaning rugs

- cleaning up for HER guests

- running errands

- plumbing work

- picking up her meals when she works from home

- fixing door locks

etc.

Can you imagine all the other kind of chores I'd be doing if I tapped that ass???

I don't care if you're a guy or girl trying to "hook-up" with a guy or girl. If you tap that ass, there will be consequences... You'll have some needy lovesick guy or girl hounding you all the time for companionship. Or, you'll have a manipulating asshole thinking that you're in a "committed relationship" and that you should be devoted to him or her and do whatever he or she asks. It'll be like being in a marriage from hell.

I don't care if everything starts out warm and fuzzy. I don't care if you're friends with benefits. Once you tap that ass, you've committed yourself.

Unless you're a player, you're stuck.

And, do you remember my week-long courtship with the "female player"?

That girl tried to get me in the sack before I could come up with a plan to get HER in the sack!

I knew she was up to something that's why I kept skirting around the issue.

I wasn't about to let that bitch drain my bank account dry!

And, now, this new chick...

I like this girl as a friend. And, really, I want to keep it that way.

I don't want to think about a relationship or any kind of romantic interlude.

I just want us to stay friends and have fun and after we get to know each other - whatever happens - happens.

But...

She's already imposing. If I tell her "no" or not to do something, she doesn't hear me at all. Stubborn as hell. Even if I beg. Hell, I can't put up with that. It'll drive me nuts! And, I don't wanna end up hating this girl.

She's already telling me that she misses me and that she enjoys our conversations and that she thinks about me often.

I was in a state of shock. I said, "Damn!"

I can't lie. I think about her too - Often.

But, I'm not gonna say that! At least not to her. I don't want things to get "hot and heavy" too soon.

This is a strong-willed woman. And already, I'm scared for my freedom.

Man, I think once I tap that ass, I'll never see the light of day again.

I won't be under her spell, but more than likely, under her control.

She's not the type of woman that takes "no" for an answer and that's what I'm afraid of.

She won't listen to reason.

And, she hugs me and holds my hand and cuddles in public and I just don't know what the hell to do. It's cool... but in certain situations it's not cool.

Then, she doesn't want me to ride my bike in the cold and makes a big deal about That. And...

Don't get me wrong. I WANT someone like that. I want a woman who's gonna be "down for me" and have my back and generous and affectionate, but I got a feeling she's gonna take over once I tap that ass.

I got a feeling all of that love and affection I'm getting right now is gonna turn into Demands and hard labor later.

My instincts are seldom wrong! I've been developing them for a few years now and trust me, they have rarely failed to be right.

I've been with other chicks and "tapped that ass", and suddenly became stuck in a relationship.

I'm a pushover and I know it. That's why I have to be extra careful and exercise self-control.

I know this is a risk but I'm gonna take my chances at the friendship route and see how things go from there.

If I miss out on a good thing, then I'll just have to "charge it to the game". But, if she sticks around and we take things to a deeper level, then maybe we're meant to be.

Either way, I ain't gonna tap that ass no time soon and give up living the good life!

And, you guys and girls should take heed and do the same!

Hell, now that I think about it: whether you tap that ass or don't tap that ass, either way, you're screwed.

- loveqna

Don't Let A Toxic Relationship Bring You Down

Queen - 'Another One Bites the Dust'



Video provided by - queenofficial

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These mean-ass manipulating men and crazy-ass psychotic women make my blood boil!

I'm sick ovem!

Why in the hell would you let that asshole play games with your mind and emotions???

Why are you allowing that scumbag to manipulate you and abuse you?

Why are you settling for a sub-standard way of surviving when you could be living the life you deserve and enjoying life to the fullest???

You don't have to settle for a life of heartache and pain and loneliness!

This way of life that you're living only robs you of the Joy and Happiness that every man and woman deserves.

Men and Women weren't meant to live in Fear all the days of their life!

You shouldn't be cut off from your Friends and Family!

You deserve to be loved just like everybody else!

Tell that no-good rat-soup eatin' bum to kiss your ass!

Go to the people that REALLY love and appreciate you. People who really care about you. People who want to see you happy.

Why should you stay in a place with a crumbcake-ass loser who doesn't inspire you, who doesn't love you, who gets joy out of using and abusing you, and who's crazy as hell???

I'm sick of these damn tyrants! Lock every last one of their asses up!

Let THEM get abused and mistreated and neglected for a while and see how they like it.

Don't believe their lies and guilt-tripping schemes.

They'll say and do anything to keep you around as their "punching bag".

Face it! The bum is crazy!

Ain't no need in you sticking around and trying to change him (or her).

That lousy-ass rat ain't gonna change until he or she is ready to change.

He or She ain't gonna stop playing games until he or she is Ready to stop playing games.

Sometimes, you've just gotta give people like that their space so that they can see the error of their ways.

You can talk and beg and plead and try to compromise until you are blue in the face and they still won't have a clue about all the wrong they're doing.

Let that guy or girl go. Man-up or Woman-up and move on with your life. The Drama ain't worth it.

Being played and cheated on and berated and cussed out every day ain't worth it.

You HAVE a Higher Power within you. You ARE strong enough to survive on your own.

We all have self-preservation instincts. You just have to have the courage to let yours take over and not fall to your knees and simply accept the abuse that comes your way.

Look for resources and help for a way out of the mess you're in!

Be a Survivor! Be Strong!

Resort to your own bag of tricks, games, and tactics to get yourself out this hell-hole that you've fell in.

You might think you can't move on with your life because you NEED this person financially or for security or because you're in love or because you're afraid to tell him or her that you're NOT in love anymore, but you can do it...

Plan your "escape", Stack your cash, make some connections, and LEAVE.

Now, if this person is REALLY crazy as hell, don't go anywhere that he or she can track you down!

If anything, use reverse psychology! Play the jealous lover role! Or, something. Nag him or her to death. Be a match-maker and hook him or her up with one of your enemies. Let those two bums have each other.

Do anything to make him or her LEAVE YOU (if the bum is crazy as hell).

If you have a good support system like family or friends or a co-worker to stay with for a while until you get back on your feet, that's always a plus. Just make sure you respect their hospitality, their friendship, and their home, so that will be there for you if ever you should need them again.

You should have plenty of people on your side. Everybody knows that's no way for anyone to live or be treated and are willing to help any way they can.

You just have to be willing to have the strength to help yourself.

I know some people feel beat-down so much that they're depressed and lack the motivation to make a move and get out their terrible situation. But, sometimes, you've just got to mad and say "the hell with shit! I'm out!"

And, pack your bags and get gone.

Don't worry about what you're gonna lose or what you're leaving behind... Forget that crap! Half of that stuff you don't need and the other half you probably weren't using anyway!

Some people will stick around in dire situations and suffer themselves to be another person's personal maid or slave just because they enjoy the comforts of the person's home or just because they're able to enjoy free cable and Internet service. WTF???

Man... Screw those luxuries and go and get your own shit!

I know a toxic relationship is a hundred times worse with an abusive psycho and you might fear making a move because you've never been on your own... But, you can Learn.

Screw those luxuries and go and get your own shit!

People out there are willing to help you.

Get out and ask questions and learn and talk to friends and family and whoever else and find you a safe place or a room mate and move on with your life.

You can do it!

Hell, I've made mistakes all my life and look at me now!

I ain't livin' "high on the hog", but guess what?

Life Is Good.

And, it can be good for you too. All you have to do is start making moves.

- loveqna

The Best Week Ever

I've already mentioned this year being a great year for me, but this past week has been awesome as well.

I attended that big Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.

I made more friends.

I had a pic-nic on the hood of a car with a cute girl at 2:00AM Saturday night. She's somewhat strange and bohemian, but nice.

I went to church. (don't be surprised.) Man, there were so many babes in there, I know the Lord is gonna punish me for watching all of that booty. But, I couldn't help it. I tried not look (really, I did), but those church-going girls were beautiful. They all looked liked booty-licious angels. Mmph! Lord, forgive me.

I went hiking on Sunday with about seven or eight other people who were all sweet and friendly.

We sat around and chilled at the lake for a while and talked. It was cool.

I became closer to the friends I already had and made even more friends.

And, I got the opportunity to practice a few of my conversation skills. And, I felt cool and comfortable most of the time.

I met a sweet young lady who may be compatible to me as a close friend or maybe more.

AND...

I saw a damn meteorite!

Hell, Even my horoscope was positive this week.

I don't know if any of this means anything or not but it's good for a change - just to do something different besides work and think and drink.

I've been getting so caught-up in that monotonous routine that I was starting to get bored with my life.

For the past few weeks since the Halloween Party I really haven't been doing much of anything. At least nothing exciting.

When my co-worker invited me to spend Thanksgiving with her and her family and friends, I was little bit taken aback because I hardly know this girl. But, I went anyway because she's a co-worker and "good people". And, since I was on a streak with all of these parties, I thought I'd better keep enjoying generosity while it lasted.

The Thanksgiving Dinner was great. Good food everywhere!

Man, I only had two plates (the second one with only vegetables, bread, and stuffing) but I was as full as a pot-bellied baby. I was disgusted with myself but the food was delicious. They had everything you could imagine and everyone chipped in and brought a dish - or, helped out in one way or another. It was a real family atmosphere.

Oh, I forgot to mention that she bought a Christmas tree...

We all crowded around or sat around and talked and hung ornaments on it. It was nice.

I was a bit nervous at first because I didn't know I would be surrounded by Christians, but luckily I had a few beers beforehand and when they started to take effect I felt more at ease.

The conversations and good times flowed so well, I didn't know how to say "goodbye".

Now, let me tell you about the shooting star I saw on my way home Friday night...

I was cruising along the sidewalk on my bike when I noticed this streak of light high up in sky to my right. It zipped across the sky so fast I couldn't determine what the hell it was.

At first, I thought it was fireworks because the colors were white at the tip and maybe yellow and blue. I can't remember if the blue was before the yellow or after because I was in shock.

It was going so fast, I immediately said to myself, "Hell naw. That ain't firework going that damn fast."

So, I thought it was a jet. But it was going TOO damn fast. And, it was descending. So, I knew it wasn't a jet. Plus, there was no loud jet engine sound.

Then, I said, "Damn! Is that a UFO???"

As you can see, I had almost lost my damn mind...

I quickly recovered and realized what it was - a shooting star (or meteorite if you wanna get technical).

It took me a while to get to the area where I deemed it would've landed or crashed but I never saw or heard any explosion or collision.

There was, however, a burnt smell (a sort of stench) looming in the air as I got closer but I couldn't really tell if it was from the fumes of the traffic or what, so I just accepted what I had seen and didn't investigate any further.

But, I wonder if it was a sign of what was coming up that weekend with me going to church and meeting new people and getting to know this babe who may be compatible to me as a close friend or maybe more. ???

I'm not gonna speculate about it.

I enjoy being single but, if the opportunity to meet a good woman arises, I'm not gonna pass on it. So, we'll see.

I'm not really sure what this post was about but, I guess the gist of it is: If you wanna have a good time and enjoy life and see some amazing things AND meet some amazing people, you have to get out of the house and explore the world around you.

I know there's a lot of traffic out there, but there's a lot of Love too.

Get up and check it out.

And, don't be afraid of Christians... they're not all fanatics.

- loveqna

Find Your Alter-Ego And Get Rid Of Shyness

One of the best ways to improve confidence is through preparation for an event or situation. When you know (or sort of know) what to expect or what might happen, you don't have to think and worry about the unexpected. Your brain and instincts takeover and allow you to enjoy the moment. You know what's coming and what's about to happen so you don't feel anxious and nervous.

You become more engaged with your date (or friends)... And you're able to relax and have a good time.

Or, show off your "skills" and wit.

Or, ask better questions to get others engaged and talking.

Preparation is something you should practice often. It will make social situations become a lot more natural to you. And, you'll feel just as comfortable and have a good time like everyone else.

But, another way to improve your confidence and to get rid of shyness is by DISCOVERING and USING your Alter-Ego. We all have one - a fierce and courageous personality that roams on a higher level within our psyche.

A higher level of Energy.

A higher Force.

A higher Power.

A higher level of strength and confidence that we are able to tap into IF we are willing to move out of our comfort zone and face our challenges and tests in life.

Beyonce talked about having an alter-ego: "Sasha Fierce".

Other celebrities use their alter-egos to conquer stage fright or to deal with the public.

Some salespeople rely on their alter-ego to deal with strong-willed customers in negotiations.

Many ordinary people (especially the ones who go out to night clubs) have alter-egos that they call upon before they go out at night, because they want to feel confident and have a good time.

Actors, I'm sure, have an alter-ego (or maybe even multiple personalities) to get into their acting roles as superheroes or action heroes or as sex symbols.

There's nothing wrong with that. You should dig deep and discover yours.

Sometimes you have to get in the Zone and take your mindset to that next level if you want to conquer your fears - or a particular situation.

I'm convinced that a lot of guys and girls (women) out there could discover who they are in life or what they really want to do in life if they weren't afraid to be WHO THEY REALLY ARE. They've always been what OTHER people wanted them to be. They've always done what OTHER people have wanted them to do. Their True Self (maybe their true Ego) is hidden way way Way down deep within their psyche (or subconscious). And, they're afraid to let it out!

These shy and awkward-feeling folks are "out of touch" and afraid to approach and meet new people.

They're afraid to face certain challenges in life.

They only dream about the life they want and don't believe in themselves enough to make that life come true.

They need to say "Fuck it", and just go for what they want out of life.

Don't worry about being rejected or failing or making mistakes. Just do it.

Everybody makes mistakes.

Learn. Use your instincts. Do your due diligence and research so that you can minimize mistakes. But, don't let Fear keep you from moving forward or growing or meeting new people.

Use your Alter-Ego and boost your Confidence!

Sometimes it may take another person to bring out that extra boost and confidence you need.

It's possible a mentor can help you find your true self or your alter-ego.

Sometimes it might take a certain situation to bring out these emotions or the character and Power you need to change your life or boost your Confidence.

Don't fall into the "cookie-cutter" model...

Alter-Egos come in all shapes and sizes and colors.

Some are like Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft.

Some are like Edward Cullen, the vampire character of the Twilight Series.

Some are like Oprah Winfrey, the media mogul.

Some are like RockStars.

Some have the coolness and suaveness of the actor Denzel Washington.

Yours will be unique to You and give you the strength you need to be a true Leader.

You only have to find ways to draw it out.

And, it will be unique and stronger than you ever imagined.

Walk tall and let it overtake your senses, emotions, character, and personality. And when it does, hold fast to it and do the right thing for your life and for love.

- loveqna

Enjoy The Moment - Accept The Bad And The Good

The Script - Before The Worst



Video provided by - TheScriptVEVO

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Just got home from a Thanksgiving Dinner hosted by a friend and I'm a little tipsy, but I was just thinking...

This year has been great (one of the best years of my life).

But, it hasn't been all "peaches and cream".

I've been stressed out, disappointed, confused, depressed, overworked, almost ran-down by crazy drivers on the road, dealt with irate customers, seen some of my friends fired, missed opportunities... I've suffered some Trials and Tribulations! And, I'm sure there will plenty more where all that came from!

But, if I didn't have the blessings of making new friends and finding that job and having the health and strength that I have to write or ride my bike, I'd probably have a lot more trials and tribulations than what I've suffered thus far. I'd be broke as hell, homeless, and wouldn't have a friend in the world.

I know I talk crap about bad relationships. And, I can't stand drama. But, sometimes, the drama that you suffer is nothing compared to all the good and all the blessings that one has by being in a relationship.

These past few weeks, I've talked to quite a few old couples (mostly the men) who've been with their wives for at least 20-something years or more (up to 48 years), and almost every time I've asked these guys how long they've been in their relationship, they've responded with: "Too long." But then, they laugh. Most of them have admitted that their relationship has had its ups and downs, but all-in-all, they felt they had done the right thing by getting married.

Now, I know some men (and women) don't see any benefits of being in a relationship because of all the B.S. they go through with a tyrant, or a nagging loudmouth, or a lazy bum, or a manipulating jerk, but it's because sometimes these scumbags weasel their way into people's lives or because we Bring them into our lives. We don't see the potential drama or the negative side of this person until it's too late and we've committed ourselves. BUT! if there is real compatibility - and a connection - love and good times and real benefits can be had. But, I see from observing many of these younger couples that it requires patience and sometimes biting your tongue to avoid turning a difference of opinion (or an angry woman) into all-out War.

Now, I'm not saying that anyone should be a "kept man" or "submissive woman", but you have to realize that there is gonna be drama at some point when you're interacting with other people. Hell, you're gonna have drama in your life as long as you live on this earth. There's just no way around it. No matter who you're involved with! Even your SoulMate is going to rub you the wrong way every now and then and get on your nerves - or, do something you don't like. But, some things aren't worth fighting for or getting into an argument over. Some things are best to accept as B.S. or foolishness and just move on.

Now, Abuse! I don't think ANYONE should tolerate. If you're being abused and severely mistreated, Hell yeah, I think you should dump the relationship and leave the abuser as quickly as possible. Or, if you're not compatible and this person constantly gets on your nerves, maybe you should leave. But, if you can make your relationship better by putting a little more effort into it or by comprising or by being a little more patient, then you should give a little to get the love and benefits that you deserve. In the long run, it's worth it to have someone by your side that cares for you and wants to see you advance and succeed in life.

This year, I've been to several parties hosted by co-workers. And, at each of these parties there have been older couples in their 30s, 40s, and 50s (some in their sixties), and almost all of them live (or seemingly live) good lives. They have nice homes, cars, toys, hobbies to keep them busy, gadgets, good friends, good vibes going on, they travel, and some even have devoted kids. These are just a few of the benefits they've acquired by being together. I'm sure they have their ups and downs and drama in their relationship, but by sticking together, it's teamwork that has gotten them where they are.

Some people can't get those simple benefits by being alone. They spend their whole lives going in circles or going downhill because they don't have the love and inspiration (or Motivation) they need to move up in life.

Hell, even these single folks who are doing well in life might as well commit to someone... They can't escape the drama either! They get played, dumped, and have to deal with arguments and drama in their dating and on-again-off-again relationships.

Why grow old without Love and companionship only to have the state or someone strip all that you own from you and put you some old folks home where you'll probably end up all alone and "captive" anyway?

At least enjoy all that you can out of life besides a dog or a few cats or flowers...

Those people ain't getting no real Benefits!

Some of these people don't even grow spiritually. You can look at them and see it in their eyes and faces. They don't care about anything else except staying alive and keeping the world out of their lives. But, they're lonely as hell. That's why they desperately cling to those pets.

Don't DO that to yourself!

Sometimes you've got to walk through the Valley of Shadows Of Death to get to the Land Of Milk and Honey!

Don't be afraid of the drama. Hate it but learn to deal with it and conquer it, because you're gonna have drama in your life whether you want it or not and whether you're single or not. So, accept it. Be prepared for it. Fight it.

Hardly anything good in life comes without hard work and pain, we all know this, so don't fool yourself. Be prepared to take the bad along with the good, and get all the Love and Benefits that you deserve.

- loveqna

VIDEO - Red Red Wine - UB40

Some days I feel like "Dave Matthews Band"; Some days I feel like Bob Marley - Or, in this case, UB40...

Red Red Wine - UB40



Video provided by - emimusic

- loveqna

Why A Girl or Guy Didn't Call After You Gave Your Number

There are a lot of people out there who play games, and, a lot of people out there who don't know what they want.

Some of them get phone numbers for fun (or sport). Some of them get phone numbers and are afraid to call. Some of them will get a person's phone number and don't know what the hell they want to do.

I know dealing with these kind of people are frustrating - especially if you're interested, but don't lose any sleep over these bums. There's nothing wrong with you, it's just that THIS person may be a player or a waffler.

Or, the timing wasn't right and there were no good vibes.

Sometimes people just aren't interested but they'll accept a phone number anyway just to be nice. I'm sure you've been in that position where you might get someone's number so that you don't have to turn the person down and hurt their feelings.

But, there could be any reason.

Maybe there was no connection. Maybe he or she was looking for "Love" or a spark and didn't feel it. Maybe he or she didn't feel you two were compatible. So what. Don't let it get you down. Go on with your life.

Sometimes we take an "encounter" or date WAY too seriously. Some of us "fall in love" WAY too fast.

Some people meet an attractive person who seems sweet, kind, and thoughtful. And, there seems to be a connection, and almost instantly - "it's love".

Half the time, it's only infatuation.

In reality, there's no connection, or chemistry, or we know so little about the person except that they have a good sense of humor. Most of the time, we've only known this person for a few minutes or a few hours. We don't even know him or her on a deeper level. Yet, we're head over heels in love.

Why???

Most of the time it's because there seems to be good vibes going on between us - like there's a true connection.

That first encounter is usually all jokes and laughs the first time we meet. Or, we're turned on by their looks or physical appearance. Or, he or she seems kind and thoughtful and treat us with respect so we think he or she is interested in getting to know us on a romantic level.

But, we don't know this person. We don't know he or she is really about. But, we're swooning over this person like we know all there is know about him or her. He or she could be a total asshole. Therefore, contain yourself.

Get to know this girl or guy and find out what he or she is REALLY about!

How many times have you met someone, fell in love, and later on the person changes and starts acting like a jerk?

It happens all the time.

He or she was probably a jerk all along and we just didn't see it. We only saw what we wanted to see. Or, perhaps, trickery.

What do we REALLY KNOW?

Not much.

So, why should you be so anxious about him or her calling?

I know you want to get to know this prospect better, but don't put your life on hold waiting for him or her to come running to you with open arms.

Move on with your life, keep doing what you do, and "see how things turn out".

I've sen guys and girls give out their phone numbers to people and check their phone every five minutes to see if the person they've given their number to has called. It's a pitiful sight to see.

Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't put a little bit of effort into the courtship. If you have the guy or girl's phone number, then call. But, if he or she is not showing any interest or making an effort to call you, why sweat it?

Move on.

But, let me list a few reasons why a prospect might not call...

Now, whether he or she is a player, a waffler, or just didn't feel any chemistry is important.

Use your instincts to see who or what you're dealing with.

A man or woman who's genuine and wants to get to know you will find a way to call no matter how busy he or she is.

But, the other types won't call if...

- they met what they believe to be a better option
- they're only getting phone numbers for sport or to impress friends with how many phone numbers they can get
- they heard something negative about you - found out you have baggage or issues
- he or she is a waffler and changed his or her mind about dating or getting involved - prefers to be alone.
- he or she is a cheater and had to destroy or lose the phone number
- the waffler doubts himself or herself as far as offering a good time
- doesn't believe you two are really compatible or felt no chemistry
- he or she found out a friend is also interested in you and doesn't want to ruin that friendship
- he or she is just testing his or her skills to see if you would give him or her your phone number (want to know that they're still desirable)
- they're just flirting for fun (teasing)

And, sometimes phone numbers get lost or don't get saved.

And, there are various other reasons why people don't call when they get a phone number. Every man and woman has their own reasons for doing what they do.

But, again: I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Nine times out of ten, there's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes the timing just isn't right. Sometimes the "vibe" just isn't there. Sometimes people expect too much too soon. And, sometimes players and wafflers have a way of creeping into our lives.

Whatever. Move on.

If you see the bum again, act like you never met.

If they want your number again, play hard to get.

You ain't got time for these games and confusion.

Remember: There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why play in the pond with toads?

Tell'em to kiss your ass.

- loveqna

Why Do Some People Think Being A Virgin Is A Bad Thing?

I know I should be updating some of my earlier posts in which I published only notes, but I have to comment on a subject I recently came across on the Net.

There was a 27 year-old woman on a forum who was wondering whether or not she would still be desirable if guys found out that she was a virgin. And, there are lots of people out there with the same "blessing" who are wondering the same thing.

And, I say (many people say), "of course a guy or girl will date you if you're a virgin". It's not like you have the plague or something.

A virgin might be inexperienced (and some people might not like that), but overall, it's not a bad thing. Especially, if you've been focused and moved forward in your life and have grown spiritually - or even started a career and have something to show for yourself.

If you've "abstained" to stay pure for marriage, that's not a bad thing either. But, you'd better be "skilled" when the honeymoon comes or else your love life is going to boring as hell. Maybe. (some virgins are closet freaks and sexual addicts waiting to explode)

Some men and women would actually prefer to meet a virgin and settle down with him or her because of the virgin being pure.

Some men (I don't know how women feel about this) would love to teach a virgin the ways of Love and how to make love. Maybe it's even a fantasy for some guys, who knows.

Many people also believe virgins are more likely to be faithful because:

Number One - They have already proven they have self-control

Two - Many virgins (probably most) fall in love with their first lover

Three - A virgin is not going to be tempted sexually by a guy or girl no matter how hot the guy or girl is

But, there's more...

Can you imagine how hard it is for a single guy with no kids to meet a twenty-one year-old (or older) woman with no kids??? It's like searching for a needle in a damn haystack!

Hell, you'd be lucky to find a 27 year-old who ain't a grandma nowdays!

I'm just kidding.

But, baby-mamas and baby-daddies ARE running rampant as hell around here, aren't they???

But, seriously...

If you're a virgin, it ain't nothing to be ashamed about.

Don't feel pressured or odd because of what your friends and family says. They're just teasing you and having a bit of fun. And don't let the haters and manipulators talk you into doing something you might regret. They just want you to feel their pain. If any of them could do it all over again, they would wait too.


The only people that don't get this are the ones who have sex but who have no common sense or wisdom about love. or, they have no real relationship goals. they're just going with the flow of life.

You're cute and have great character. That's a prize catch by any man's (or woman's) standards.

As long as you and your choice are compatible and know how to enjoy all aspects of Life (sex included), you're gonna have a wonderful relationship. Just make sure you have chemistry on all levels before you settle down.

Everybody knows that virgins rock.

- loveqna

Conversation Topics - How To Talk About Yourself

Yuck!

These Hi-Def TVs are sweet, but have you ever seen the actors and actresses on one of these things??? Some of the women I thought were hot - really look terrible... These TVs show off all of their flaws and everything! Thank God for makeup and lighting... It helps a little.

I hate this TV.

Anyway...

Here is another conversation tip to consider when you're out on a date or talking on the phone or socializing with a group of your buddies this week.

Talk about yourself.

- what good news (or bad) have you heard lately and how do YOU feel about it

- what is the funniest thing happened to you this week

- what is the weirdest thing you've seen today

- have you thought about cooking anything lately or learning how to cook

- do you have a dilemma

- are you sick and tired of working at your current job

- have you had any ailments lately

- are you thinking about going back to school/college and getting a degree

- have you had poor customer service lately

- is there a place you hate to go because the employees are "ghetto"

- did you hear anything interesting on radio show this morning

- has someone offended you or pissed you off recently because they are a jerk or deceitful

- have you thought about going on a diet or working out

- are you planning a trip or vacation

- have you gotten a good deal on anything lately

- have you been to any new restaurants or stores lately

- do you need ideas for a gift to get for a friend or your Mom or someone who's sick

- are you sick and tired of being treated like dirt by a friend, your boss, or your mate

- is someone trying to manipulate you

- have you caught someone in a big lie recently

- do you feel you're being overworked at home or at work

- is one of your family members or friends or children involved in drama that you have to help solve

- have you been overcharged or sold a defective product recently

- what do you remember about the good old days

- is there restaurant or venue or event that you miss going to

- who is your favorite team and what do you think they'll do this year

- have you heard anything shocking about anybody lately (scandal; death; dating; termination)

- do you have any exciting plans this week

And, you could go on and on and on...

Remember, many statements about yourself or your life are like "bulletins" that tell people what you got going on or how you feel or what your plans are or what you're thinking. Your preferences. Whatever. And, it's not always a bad thing.

Sometimes, talking about yourself can spark a good conversation about a specific issue or dilemma the person you're talking to is having. Maybe you could help them solve their problem or give them a chance to vent.

Maybe you got a good deal on food or gas. Who wouldn't want to know about that???

With these types of conversations, you could easily move from small-talk to deeper levels of thought and on to even deeper levels of conversations that can bring about a connection and understanding between you and a new prospect - or your friends and family.

And, don't feel too shy to do a little trash-talking about how good your favorite team is or how you overcame an obstacle or how you got a hook-up on a sweet deal. Be excited. Enjoy the things in your life every once and a while. It's only when people go on and on and on about themselves or what they're doing, that sickens others. The key is to read other people's interest (from their eyes, body language, and responses).

And, I know I'm wearing you down with all of this yappin' and jibba-jabba that I'm doing right now, so I'm gonna let you go.

Take care and don't be shy!

Have Fun! That's the key.

- loveqna

What Are Men Thinking When...

Okay, the weekend is officially here, and for those of you who are looking to improve your conversation skills, approach skills, and social skills, here is the first of two posts for this week.

And, I must insert this disclaimer: You all know that I'm not a "pick-up artist" or "expert", so (please) for "top-notch" advice, review one of those type of sites.

Today, I had a few other topics in mind to post but somehow I ended up surfing the Net and came across an interesting question (and "reality") on Yahoo I want to share with you.

You could call this a simple observation but, I think it's a real benefit and could take some of the pressure off of approaching some good prospects if you use your instincts and "read" them well.

The one thing I like about this post is that it CONFIRMS that men and women DO appreciate eye-candy and are checking each other out all the time.

The problem is: Women are just as much afraid of rejection as men are! So, most good people - who are good for each other - never meet.

And, no one is the blame. It's Fear on all of our part that keeps two good people from getting together.

So, Free Your Mind and Use Your Instincts and let Karma and Destiny take their proper course. There are going to be people out checking you out. And, some will want to get to know you. But, it may be up to you to step-up and invite them to experience your world.

Anyway... Here's the little gem that I discovered.

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QUESTION ON YAHOO:

What R men thinking in a grocery store, when eye contact is made with a beautiful woman?

Ok, Im walking in the grocery store, pushing that awful dreadful cart, thinking what do i put together for dinner tonight? I see a handsome guy pushing his cart, he looks me in the eye, no friendly smile, but I seen something there, in his eyes. And he looks away fast!. Ok, I know what Im thinking when I see a good looking guy(even an unattractive guy), Im thinking "hhhmm, wonder how good he is in bed?" I want an HONEST answer from those guys who know what im talking about. Come on ladies, you know the scenerial im describing, even those women with their hair tied in a knot, their so lady like and always on her best behavior, After all she is on the PTA. You wonder the same thing Im asking about.. Hey guys if you can answer this question. A whole lot of men will get dates in the grocery store line. You can be like one of those last minute items in the check out lane. Women will prob have alot more nerve to ask you out if she thinks your thinking what I think your thinking.
..................

Okay, after reading that question, I simply came up with a lot of thoughts I've had and comments I've heard other guys (and girls) mention.

But, you know how a group of guys are when they're together checking out a hot chick.

And, a group of ladies ain't no different.

So, I won't post all of the stuff I've heard.

But, all of it is not "dirty" or vulgar or perverted.

There ARE guys out there that love the way your hair looks. Or, guys out there that love your smile. Or, the way you dress. Or, your nails. All men aren't thinking "dirty" thoughts or fantasizing about seeing you naked. Someone may really be interested in getting to know you on a deeper level.

Sometimes, you can see what they're thinking in their eyes... Sometimes, you can see it in their actions or by the way they act when you are near.

But, I know it's hard for some of you beautiful women out there. You girls get approached, whistled at, and flirted with all the time, so, it's difficult to know who's "for real" and who just wants to get into your pants. Still, even a man who appreciates your beauty may want more with you than just sex. You just have to use your instincts to see beyond the B.S. or shyness.

But, let me move on before I get off topic...

Here's my response to "what men are thinking when they see a hot chick at a grocery store or somewhere out in public":

- "Damn, she's fine."
- "Damn, her hair is pretty."
- "Good Lord! Look at that booty!"
- "I know she's got a man."
- "Damn, what should I say?"
- "Damn, that bitch is bad."
- "Wooowe... that ass is phat."
- "damn, she looks sexy with what she has on."
- "good Lord, she smells good! I wonder what kind of perfume she has on."
- "I know I don't have a chance with her. Ain't no use in me even trying."
- "I know a girl like that ain't single."
- "that girl is hot and don't even know it."
- "she has a pretty smile."
- "Damn, she has some sexy lips."
- "Damn! How many kids has she got???"
- "Boy, I wouldn't mind hittin' that!"
- "If that was my girl, I'd never let her go."
- "damn, I don't know what to say to this chick."
- "wow... look at little mama. She's hot."
- "damn. she's workin' that thing. Look at her shaking that booty. she knows I'm lookin'."
- "she knows she's fine."
- "damn. I bet she's a wildcat in bed."
- "I wonder where her man is at? Is she alone? Is she single? Should I approach?" (lol)
- "damn, she has a sexy walk."
- "She's cute. I wonder what religion she is."
- "damn, she's fine. I wonder how old she is?"
- "damn, she has some pretty skin."
- "Where have I seen her before?"
- "I'd make her my wife."
- "Damn, something TOLD me to change clothes before I went to the store!"
- "ohhhh, I got to hollah at this chick..."
- "damn, she has a nice shape/body."
- "ohhh, I think she's checking me out. Damn... what should I say???"

You never know what's going on in someone's mind but these are a few of the things I've heard guys (and women) say when they notice a cute guy or girl out in public.

Now, the thing about these comments is obvious. People DO look and judge and WANT to approach you or avoid you based on your appearances. So, make sure you're smelling as fresh as daisies and looking "tight and right" when you go out to party and socialize.

No matter what your style is, just make sure you're representing class and style and what you're all about to the fullest.

And Have Fun! Be Approachable!

If you're interested, show him with a smile or a compliment - or, even a joke. Sometimes, that's what a "hunter" needs. So, be bold and put him at ease. And, he might have the balls to let you know what's really on his mind.

That's the way to get closer to that secret admirer who's checking you out!

- loveqna

Show Your Girl Some Love

R. Kelly - Your Body's Callin



Video provided by - RKellyVEVO

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It's cool to be on casual standing with your girl to the point where you can relax and let your hair down and "just be You", but sometimes, you've got to be a little bit romantic and suave.

We all know hunks appreciate a little attention and being romanced and appreciated every now and then - but, so do our women!

Now, I know you know how to make love to your woman (mentally and emotionally). So, I'm not doubting your skills. But, every once and a while, I know we brothers have a tendency to get a little lax and take our partners for granted.

We don't show them enough love and appreciation. Or, flirt with them. Or, laugh and have a good time with them.

We don't put enough passion into intimacy and love-making.

We get slack on doing the little things that show we care.

I know sometimes (or often) kids might be a distraction. Or, work might ruin the mood. Or, sometimes, you don't know whether she wants you to touch her not. Or, she might give you the impression that she doesn't want to be bothered... But, don't forget that she's human and needs some lovin' every now and then.

For some of us, making that move requires more work than necessary - for whatever reason. (sometimes, women can be a sourpuss, I know) But, you have to use your charm and tact to get her to drop her defenses so that you can make love to her the way she wants to be made love to.

It might require flowers, candy, a small gift or trinket for some guys. It may even require dinner and a movie. Or, you may even have to get a little bit "freaky" and try something new (a fantasy of hers) that might excite her. Sometimes, kindness and a sweet conversation or just showing that you care and thinking about her helps. That has worked for me - even with some of the most grouchy-est of women.

Do the unthinkable...

- a love note
- a flirtatious phone call or text
- a pedicure or massage (from you or a spa)
- a foot rub or back rub
- a stroll in the park
- or, give that booty a slap

Whatever! Something simple. Anything.

Did you know that most grouchy women are grouchy because they aren't being shown enough love and romance???

Consider all of those mean-ass women you know! Do you think those witches would act that way if they were getting loved down properly??? Hell no. They'd be as sweet as pie.

They wouldn't come to work grumpy as hell spoiling the mood for everybody else. Or, giving you poor customer service. Or, be so "uppity" and ill-mannered when you ask them a simple question. They'd be cool, civil, and easy to get along with like most of the women in the world.

Am I saying that you have to change or be a lap-dog? Hell no. A woman ain't gonna respect a man who kisses her ass.

Am I saying that you have to cater to your woman every now and then? Yeah. Sometimes you have to treat that broad like a Queen if you expect to be treated like a King.

Sometimes you have to be sweet if you want the Royal Treatment.

Every day is a good day when you can make love to her Mind, Body, or Soul...

It's good for everybody when you show just how wise and skilled you are in the ways of Love.

And a lot of women don't require much.

Seriously.

If she does, you've probably done spoiled her. Or, somebody has.

But, that still doesn't matter.

If you know your woman and know her heart, you can still make her feel complete and satisfied and proud to have you as her Boo. And, I'm not saying that she doesn't feel anything of those things now. But, for some guys out there, I know they've hit a brick wall in their relationship and almost every aspect of it is just dull as hell.

Man, stop sittin' around miserable and get to work!

Be smooth with some charm and tact get things poppin' again!

Just as a strong woman has the power to inspire her man, a strong man like yourself has the power within him to inspire his woman!

If you've got a good thing, don't let it fall by the wayside...

Be mysterious. Be coy. Be playful. Be surprising. Be adventurous.

Make love to your Honey and blow her Mind.

- loveqna

It's Okay To Flirt, Baby, But Don't Tease Me

I know it SEEMS I've been doing a lot of female bashing lately in these last few posts, but I'm not angry at women. Topics come to me all the time. and when I'm not being lazy or feeling overwhelmed (mentally), I write about whatever seems to stay in my head the longest - Like this current thought about "why guys hate it when chicks TEASE entirely too much".

I see this crap all the time. And, men do it too. They'll flirt and lead you on like they like you, get you interested, then give you the run-around and play games with your mind and so forth. Or, they'll get your phone number and say they're gonna call you but then they don't. (Guys and Girls do this.)

But why?

Observe closely, use your instincts, and you'll see the reason a lot clearer...

Some people are players and do it just for amusement... or, entertainment. They just love to flirt and they love the attention.

It's an ego-boost for some of these "flirty-birdies" out here.

They just like the feeling of being desired or hot or attractive. It proves to them that they are sexy and JUST AS SEXY as the next hot chick or handsome guy.

Some people are players and do it just to pass the time and because there's "nothing better available" at the moment. When "something better" comes along they forget about the first person's number they got.

Some people out there might meet a good girl or guy and have the intentions on getting to know them better but then - the same day - they might meet someone else and change their mind about getting to know the first prospect.

And, some people are wafflers and don't know if they want to talk to you or not. Hell, they don't know if they want to be single or dating or in a long-term commitment. They want to be involved but they want the fantasy also. Someone "perfect". Those bums analyze too much.

Then, you have the "natural flirts". They love to flirt and make romantic banter because they just love having a good time. It's just something fun to do with these people. Don't ever take them seriously - even if they genuinely like you. Keep playing the game until they start chasing you. That's when you know the game is over. But, don't expect them to stop flirting with others.

But, the most disgusting flirt is the girl (or guy) who leads you on and then, when you approach or ask her (or him) out on a date or over for a romantic interlude, THEN she (or he) starts to avoid you or act differently towards you. Like you're some kind of stalker or something!

I even hear some of these girls talk trash about these guys who show a little interest after the girl has led them on!

These dudes think they have a shot with these chicks and these broads are laughing at them and making fun about them behind their backs!

And, I've had male friends and relatives do things like this to women as well.

These poor suckers are letting these guys drive their cars, eat up their food, and spend their money, and these guys know these poor dumb broads don't have a chance in hell of being their girlfriend.

They're just leading those chicks on! Selling them a dream! That's what you call it! Selling their poor dumbasses a dream...

Some people do it to themselves.

They can't accept a sweet conversation and a little bit of flirting for what it is. They see a sweet face and hear a few kind (or flirty) words, and they fall in lust or in love instantly and think they REALLY have a chance at getting to know that girl or guy on a romantic level.

Just because that girl or guy is telling jokes and talking to you for 15 minutes and you're laughing and joking around, DOESN'T mean that he or she is interested! The conversation just may be interesting.

Now, don't get me wrong. IT NEVER HURTS TO ASK. "A closed mouth won't get fed", so it's always a good idea to speak up if you feel a good vibe from someone and want to "hollah". But, don't imagine it to be more than what it is. Chances are, it's not "love at first sight", so be cool and take your time about it.

Get to know that flirty bird first! Take that small-talk to deeper levels and find out what he or she is REALLY about.

Is this person just a "flirt"? Does he or she simply like attention? Is he or she a waffler? Or, does he or she REALLY want to get to know you on a deeper level? Make a friend first then take the conversations to deeper levels and find out "what's up".

Do you know what guys REALLY hate???

It's when a chick invites them for a romantic interlude, lead them on with all of the hugging, kissing, and smooching, and get the guy all "riled up" and "excited" and then, tells the guy they can't go any farther because she "wants to take things slow". WTF???

That's why some guys never go back! It's not because they only want you for sex! For some guys that may be the case. But, some guys believe that the woman is a tease and just leading them on! They don't want to go through the humiliation again! So, they go and look for someone else! And, usually, their mind is set on a "nice girl" who won't play games!

Now, in all fairness, guys do this too.

The only difference is: If a CHICK wants you - she will try to TAKE IT by force! lol.

She'll grope and grab and pull and tug and try make you "give it up"!

"Hey, Wait a minute! Take it easy lady! "No" means "No"!

(THAT is NEVER talked about in the media or anywhere else. But, it DOES happen. A girl WILL try to take "it" if she is "hot and bothered" and wants it.)

Mmph! Good gracious... I lost my train of thought... lol.

I love aggressive women.

Anyway...

Just be careful of your emotions and money with these overly flirtatious people. Many of them don't want anything. Some of them are more trouble than they're worth. Keep your heart and mind in check and just enjoy the moment.

Don't let those "teasers" play you and don't play yourself!

Use the situation to improve your romantic conversation skills - and also, your approach skills and Confidence!

It's all practice. That's all it is...

- loveqna

VIDEO - The Isley Brothers - Contagious feat. R. Kelly

Video provided by - JoPro2

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Three or four times during the past week the same bit of wisdom has been passed onto me by some older men and women. And this video I ran across tonight while searching for something else has confirmed it. Why the Lord has led me to it is beyond me but maybe it's a message for someone else. ??? Who knows...

But, the message and the philosophies that these people had is this:

Don't stress yourself so much over whether your man or woman is cheating or whether or not he or she might cheat on you. Don't chase him or her - or beg for his or her Love; Or, try to keep the guy or girl locked up in the house away from the World...

Because, "IF a man or woman wants to cheat, he or she is gonna cheat.

And, there's nothing you can do to stop it if he or she wants it bad enough.

So, why worry yourself about it? Why stress over it? And, if it happens, don't ruin your life over it!"

Don't go out there blastin' up the town or commit any heinous crime! Don't jeopardize your future! You have too much to live for! Goals to accomplish. Dreams to live for. Friends and family who need your love and support. Why destroy your life because of this bum???

I know a situation like this can send any man or woman into a rage but why throw YOUR life away over a hoe??? (whether it's a man or a woman)

"Suffer the broken heart and when you've healed, find someone else." Someone better.

I know that's easier said than done, but I agree.

Say "good riddens" to that jackass, and kick him or her straight to the damn curb!

If he or she doesn't know a good thing when it's staring them right in the face, screw-em!

Save yourself and give all of your good lovin' to someone else. Someone more deserving and worthy.

Don't ruin your life over someone who's not worth it! And, especially when there are plenty of other fish out there in the sea who are MORE worthy of your love. Suffer the broken heart and allow the storm to pass.

And, when Time has healed those wounds and the pain and hurt is gone, move on.

Don't let this episode stress you out or bring you down.

You might not ever forget - or even be able to forgive, but, Learn from the experience.

Allow it to make you stronger and wiser. And, move on.

I know some people out there might have kids involved or they've built an Empire with that person, but many people have been in the SAME situation and have survived the same drama. You can do it too!

And, you don't have to shut the cheater out of the children's lives - even if he or she left you for someone else! Don't make the kids suffer or keep the drama going! Find a new love, strive for happiness, and move on.

And, if you can't move on, (and decide to work things out) STILL, let the past go and work on your "new" life. Communicate and discover what you two can do different to make things better.

But, the main thing is: Get away for a while or leave or do whatever you have to do to keep from breaking that hoe's neck and cutting your life short. You have too much to live for.

- loveqna

How To Get Over The Fear Of Rejection

Have "The Eye Of The Tiger"!

Be a soldier and "go in" without worrying about being turned away. Smile and get in there and let that sweet lamb KNOW that you're interested.

Everybody knows that most of us who let sweet-looking babes and handsome hunks walk out of our life do so because of the fear of rejection. We'd rather suffer heartache and deal with the emptiness and loneliness we feel rather than make a move and ask that cutie-pie out on a date.

I'm not gonna lie. The fear of rejection has made me freeze up a few times. Hell, I've seen confident outgoing guys and girls clam up and turn into shy wimps around certain people or when it came to approaching someone they were interested in meeting, so don't feel bad. We all get shy or a little nervous sometimes. The fear of rejection and not knowing what to say or being unsure about what to do can do that to you.

These days, I don't really feel all that shy about approaching prospects. I just don't do it because for the most part, I know where "success" might lead... And, I'm not ready to give up my freedom just yet. And, this in itself gives me more power and confidence! Let me tell you why.

Number One: I can flirt and have fun doing it without worrying about getting my heart broken. In fact, I EXPECT most women to laugh and say "no" to my quips, banter, and advances. But, Often, they flirt back at me.

Number Two: When I know there's no one I want to be with right now, this enables me to hold a conversation without thinking about how this chick looks or whether or not she likes me or "is she single" or "what should I say next"... I don't care! She's just someone to talk to for the moment or to pass the time. I'm just having fun and enjoying Life.

I'm gonna stop right there because I just thought of something I think you should know.

First, you know that I always recommend that you enjoy yourself and have fun when you're out and about and experiencing people and Life.

oh hell... I'm running out of time. I have to prepare for work so I'll finish this post later.

Let me say this right quick!

Sometimes rejection is personal. Much of the time it's not. Don't let your anger about the circumstances keep you from fighting it.

The key is to develop several approach techniques and

several rebuttle techniques for when you get a rejection (like a joke, a quip, being able to change the subject, being able to use another approach in an instant, being able to be sarcastic without being offensive)

Another thing you should know is WHY A PERSON MIGHT REJECT YOU

- looks
- personality
- the way you approached
- your topic
- the feel uncomfortable talking to strangers
- they're happily in a relationship
- they've just had their heart broken
- they're afraid YOU will lead them on or one day break their heart
- they don't trust strangers
- they'd rather be single and free

Who knows why the prospect might reject you. But, does it really matter?

You can't "sell" to everybody. Everybody isn't going to buy. Even the best salespeople in the world get told "no". But, do they quit selling or settle for selling the cheap stuff? Hell no! They believe in their product and they keep looking for quality prospects who are privileged enough to buy.

Expect to get rejected. Expect the worse, so that you'll be prepared to counteract!

Have a back-up plan (or another way to approach).

Know why you got rejected but don't dwell on it. It's not THAT important because people are different and what one person doesn't like another person may love. And, vice-versa. So, you never know.

Tighten up the general aspects and dimensions of yourself - your personality, your confidence, your conversation, your style, your vibe, your interests, maybe even your finances. Be at the top of your game!

Appearance does matter but it depends on who you're going after. It matters most to the public than it does to the people who really know you.

KNOW HOW TO RESPOND BEFORE YOU GET REJECTED. This will improve your Confidence immensely.

And, by all means LIVE IN CONFIDENCE! Walk Tall. Speak up or talk a little louder. Learn to say "no". Improve your Spirit (the best thing to do). Reach out to people to see how they're doing. Conquer the feeling of being uncomfortable around the people who make you feel inferior or uncomfortable. If you have to, stay away from those people until you build your confidence up. Be self-sufficient. Find Your confidence boosters and build on them. These are some of the REAL WAYS to improve your confidence and break the fear of rejection.

Sometimes, you shouldn't ask. Sometimes you must lead the prospect. Or, guide them to a yes rather than let them stay undecided before giving you a "no" answer.

Sometimes you must ask twice - in different ways - to get a yes or a phone number

will update later.

Tips On How To Reply And Respond

I saw these big beautiful mums at a garden nursery so I snapped a picture of them with my new LG500g cellphone. Anyway...

Now that I'm a full-time "sales" mane, I'll have to really work hard on my conversational skills! So, I'll try to post something at least twice a week for those of you who struggle with conversational flow as I do.

And, it's weird... people seem to really enjoy talking to me and want to talk to me but, I'm nervous sometimes whenever I have to talk to them - even if they are fun to talk to and easy to talk to. I Still get nervous. ???

I don't know what's up with that.

But, people still seem to enjoy talking to me or want to talk to me. Even my managers and supervisors.

Sometimes, I even get people asking me for advice or for my opinion on personal matters. Or - out the blue - these guys and girls will share secrets about their personal life with me. Sometimes I just listen. Sometimes, I'll start yappin' and apologize for rambling on, but they keep coming back....

One of my homeboys even suggested that I write a book. lol.

I don't know what it is. I still have a few things to learn about myself I guess.

Maybe I zone out or something when I talk to people and don't know what the hell I'm saying because I don't get it.

Anyway, let me tell you what I found out.

Dammit! I put the notes in my phone!

Okay, I'm gonna "wing" this cause I'm too lazy to get up and I should be getting some sleep for work tomorrow...

Anyway... This is what I discovered:

You shouldn't be nervous about starting a conversation because you can start a conversation about anything.

The trick is keeping the conversation going.

Let me give you an example:

Let's say you're at the market shopping for some eggs, bread, and milk, and you see this hot girl or hot guy standing a few feet from you checking out the butter. So, you say, "Mmmmmm... That butter looks mighty good."

And, he or she looks up at you...

What do you say now?

Although that girl or guy hasn't said anything. He or she has still responded simply by acknowledging your presence.

So, how do you reply or respond to his or her response?

You could ask:

What brand of butter is that?
Is that butter healthy?
Is that butter expensive?
Is that butter low in sodium?
Do you use that brand regularly? How good is it?
Have you tried that brand before?
How long have you been using that brand?

Then you say (or, you could say):

I love butter and jam on my toast, but I need something healthier. Do you think I should try that?
I'm learning to cook. What would be a good dish to cook with that butter?
Do you cook a lot of meals yourself? What's a good recipe that you use with that butter?
They have some really good prices on butter here, but did you notice how expensive the eggs are?

There are a million responses you could use also!

But, be ready with plenty more responses because the conversation can only get deeper and deeper after you get past the small-talk.

And, you don't always have to respond with words! Remember! Body language and facial expressions are important too.

And, don't forget about being mentally in-tune with the moment! Have fun. Remember, your goal is to get to know this person or to find out more about what's going on in the world around you.

That guy or girl may have some information on more deals. He or she may be able to help you with catering. He or she may have free tickets to give away... You never know. He or she may be related to you in some way or possibly a friend of one of your close friends.

So, engage and just enjoy the moment. That's what it's all about.

- loveqna

Your Most Compatible And UN-Compatible Relationship Types

Videos Provided by - LaidiFocus

www.blogtalkradio.com/templeradio

www.facebook.com/pages/Temple-Radio

www.twitter.com/AmentiAstrology

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Don't overlook the advantages of using the Zodiac charts! Even if you don't use the Zodiac to find Love, it still is of great benefit to you in improving your Natural Instincts about people, situations, drama, dilemma, events, etc. The Zodiac exposes all.

Anyone can be deceptive, pretentious, and deceitful, but no man or woman can hide his or her true nature from those with strong Female Instincts or Male Instincts!

Trust me when I say you will feel an increase in your Power of Perception and that your game will rise to levels high above average mortals...

If there is Love to be found, you will find it. If a player is in your midst, you will know it immediately. If there is any situation that can lead to disaster, you will see it before time...

Learn this skill and learn how to "read" people. It will definitely help you find your most compatible mate.

Leave no stone unturned.

Develop your Instincts and You will increase your Power to Choose Wisely.

- loveqna


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ARIES COMPATIBILITY


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TAURUS COMPATIBILITY


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GEMINI COMPATIBILITY


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CANCER COMPATIBILITY


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LEO COMPATIBILITY


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VIRGO COMPATIBILITY


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LIBRA COMPATIBILITY


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SCORPIO COMPATIBILITY


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SAGITTARIUS COMPATIBILITY


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CAPRICORN COMPATIBILITY


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AQUARIUS COMPATIBILITY


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PISCES COMPATIBILITY