The World is full of cheaters who are full of themselves. They have a huge ego. They are thoroughly proud of themselves and think highly of their beauty, mind, abilities, and accomplishments.
There's nothing wrong with that.
But, some of these jerks take it too far. They are narcissistic and arrogant as hell. I don't know how some people put up with those assholes.
They really do think they're better than everyone else.
They even believe that the way they dress and what they have is a character statement and shows that they have Class. ???
I'm serious....
But, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with looking good and having nice things but it definitely doesn't define or hide one's true character.
Chicken shit is chicken shit no matter if it comes from a buzzard or a damn peacock.
Am I lyin'???
Don't try to hide your "true colors" ego-maniac, we know what an asshole you really are...
Have you ever noticed how some of these types belittle their mates and sometimes try to make them inferior or stupid? They boss those poor little devils around and talk to them like they have no brains.
I couldn't live with anyone like that for too long without snapping.
Not all ego-maniacs cheat, but the ones that do usually consider their mates as nothing more than an "accessory". Like a piece of jewelry.
If the mate is Hot, they'll appreciate him or her more and show him or her off to their family and friends. This is the type of mate they'll cheat on but don't want to lose because of how good he or she makes the ego-maniac look. But, the ego-maniac will still keep his or her eyes and "options" open just in case someone better comes along.
If the mate is average but has above average "Benefits" (like a great job, money, or lots of material possessions), the ego-maniac will want to keep him or her around until he can find someone better. If he or she is stuck in a marriage with this person, the ego-maniac will cheat often.
If the mate is weak - no matter how good he or she looks - the ego-maniac will verbally and emotionally abuse that poor little pip-squeak to no end.
If you EVER get into a relationship with someone like this - who feels that you're not really on their level or that he or she is better than you - stack your cash and get out. This person will waste your damn time. They'll only be faithful to you when their options start to run out. And, that may be years down the road because they think they're top-notch and desired by every one they see.
They think that they can have You and anybody else that they want. And, they always want attention. They always want to attract other prospects although they're involved in a relationship. Why???
Because they think they're God's Gift to the World.
They think that they can have their cake and eat it too.
And, in most cases, they ARE eating it too!
They're in a relationship and they're still playing the field - and cheating like hell.
I'm not hatin' on the player. I just wanna put you up some game...
So, here are five reasons why those delusional hanky-ass greedy-ass bums might cheat:
- Some ego-maniacs cheat to feed their ego. It's a self-test to achieve something that would be normally hard to do - like to get a certain good-looking guy or girl. Women will do this when they're "in competition with other women. Men will do this when their "pick-up skills" are challenged by another guy or a GROUP of guys.
In either case, the man or woman (boy or girl) wants to show that his or her "game" is tight and that he or she can have anyone he or she wants. This hoe doesn’t want to be average (romantically). He or she HAS to impress the group, a rival, or him or herself.
He or she may enjoy the challenge of being able to seduce and manipulate others. He or she is impressed with the power or charm that he or she can hold over another.
This sorry-ass bum doesn't care if he or she is in a relationship.
BUT!!! Be careful...
You could be involved with a person like this and THINK you're in a relationship with him or her and really, he or she only considers you two "friends with benefits". Therefore, he or she considers the relationship "open" and that he or she is free to have sex with whomever he or she wants.
- Another ego-maniac that will cheat is one who likes his or her freedom and the ability to come and go as he or she pleases. This cheater is not really free-spirit. He or she just doesn’t want to have to answer to anyone. He doesn’t want anyone trying to tell him what to do or where he can go. He's a rebel. He doesn’t want restrictions in his life. He’s a waffler. He wants a relationship, yet he wants to live by his own rules instead of living by the unwritten rules of a relationship.
- Then, there is the defiant ego-maniac. He or she is searching for Perfection. This guy or girl thinks that he or she is Perfect and wants someone "on his or her level. He or she is superficial – a waffler. He or she is picky because he or she wants the total package - but mostly, they want someone with the perfect looks, style, and finances. To him or her, this perfect person is their SoulMate. And, they're always searching for this SoulMate whether they're in a relationship or not.
- He cheats to spread his seed. I use the word "he" because it's usually a man who does this. This is the type of guy who can barely take care of one baby - let alone 5 or 6 - and he cheats and/or sleeps with women in order to get them pregnant and build his "legacy". You see a lot of crap like this on those TV shows like "Maury" or "Jerry Springer" and shows like that.
- I don't know if there are women who sleep around for this reason (I've never heard of it), but I DO know some women will cheat in order to find a man who's more willing to settle down, have kids, and build a future together. She'll even backstab her friend for a shot if she thinks he's a guy with potential. Nine times out of ten he's a dirt-bag too.
- Some male and female ego-maniac cheat to prove to others or to him or herself that he or she is independent and free to do whatever he or she wants. This is a rebellious cheater (usually a player in disguise) who wants to make it known that he or she is not tied down or in love or devoted to one person. He wants to show that he isn’t stuck with one woman (or one guy). This cheater cheats to avoid commitment and boost his reputation or show that she's a "free-spirit" with no limitations or restrictions. Usually, their mantra is: "I can do whatever I want! Ain't no ring on my finger!"
- Some men who cheat while their baby momma is pregnant or having the baby will cheat because they don't care but also because they just don't want to be responsible. They don't want to be tied down to one person. They want to be free to be young and enjoy life and roam the streets. They want to continue to hang with their friends and pursue their dreams. They don't want to grow-up. They're on the run and trying to avoid what they feel is "entrapment".
Use your instincts and avoid ego-maniacs if you can. If you can't resist those blood-suckers, then make sure you are strong enough to stand up for yourself. Be bold and talk sh*t (in a joking way) right off the bat the first time they "test" your confidence, because once you start letting them run over you, they won't stop.
They'll abuse you, use you, screw you, and cheat on you if they don't dump you. And, who needs to put up with crap like that from a delusional asshole who's living in a fantasy world???
- loveqna
Backstabbers : The Other Danger Of Neglecting Your Lover
I wanted to put this in the previous post but now, I don't want to add any more to that post right now. I'll get around to updating it later.
Anyway...
A good reason NOT to neglect your lover is because sometimes there are people out there - haters and backstabbers - like friends, rivals, family members, his or her co-workers, or some chick who works down at the fast-food restaurant - just waiting for you two to have issues with your relationship so that they can slip in and take your man or woman when the timing is right.
Neglect can make your relationship get stale, dull, and boring. Drama can push it right over the edge.
And some of these people may not be trying to steal your man or woman, but if the opportunity ever arises, they'll hook-up with him or her when you're having a "break" or offer their affections if he or she should get lonely and approach.
It happens.
Especially when you have one person pouring out his soul to someone who's willing to listen and seems to understand. And, the person is giving good advice. And, they are able to laugh, joke, and talk about anything.
This is a recipe for new love. It happens all the time. That's why you can't let your guards down in your relationship. You have to keep things in check on a regular basis and perform routine "preventive maintenance" so that the relationship doesn't break down.
A lot of women think men don't open-up. But, when a guy is going through drama with his girl or his job, he'll find someone to talk to. And, that's when that friend of yours, or one of his co-workers, or a hoodrat he's met out at a nightclub, has the best opportunity to steal him right from up under your nose.
Women are the same way. They get sick and tired of dealing with a neglectful man after a while. They hate being stuck in a boring relationship that has done flat-lined. And, once that drama hits, and someone close to them shows them some attention and flirts with them a little bit and makes a few promises, it's over. A date or a hook-up is bound to happen.
Before you know it, one of your friends or family members have done snuck-in through the back door doggy-style. I said, "Damn!"
It can be heartbreaking and make you want unleash Hell on those dirty rats, but you've got to consider where you went wrong too. Or, at least where the relationship went wrong or sour or downhill.
I'm not pointing any fingers! I'm just looking at the situation from both sides.
In fact, do you know what the sweetest revenge is over those backstabbing rats???
It's when you find out your mate has cheating and he or she wants end the affair or come back. THEN you get the satisfaction of watching that rat squirm and beg for mercy before you kick their ass to the damn curb. Sorry sack of sh*t.
I know - it's Sadistic... But, I'm sure it feels great. And empowering.
(I can't believe it. I'm feeling good about being bad. boner.)
Anyway...
I don't want to make you paranoid. Most of us choose our friends wisely and have good honest friends and companions who would never back-stab us. But, just to be on the safe side, use your instincts and show your Boo some love on a regular basis. Don't let your relationship fall by the wayside or YOU might get bored and lonely and start looking for a form of escape or a way out.
- loveqna
Anyway...
A good reason NOT to neglect your lover is because sometimes there are people out there - haters and backstabbers - like friends, rivals, family members, his or her co-workers, or some chick who works down at the fast-food restaurant - just waiting for you two to have issues with your relationship so that they can slip in and take your man or woman when the timing is right.
Neglect can make your relationship get stale, dull, and boring. Drama can push it right over the edge.
And some of these people may not be trying to steal your man or woman, but if the opportunity ever arises, they'll hook-up with him or her when you're having a "break" or offer their affections if he or she should get lonely and approach.
It happens.
Especially when you have one person pouring out his soul to someone who's willing to listen and seems to understand. And, the person is giving good advice. And, they are able to laugh, joke, and talk about anything.
This is a recipe for new love. It happens all the time. That's why you can't let your guards down in your relationship. You have to keep things in check on a regular basis and perform routine "preventive maintenance" so that the relationship doesn't break down.
A lot of women think men don't open-up. But, when a guy is going through drama with his girl or his job, he'll find someone to talk to. And, that's when that friend of yours, or one of his co-workers, or a hoodrat he's met out at a nightclub, has the best opportunity to steal him right from up under your nose.
Women are the same way. They get sick and tired of dealing with a neglectful man after a while. They hate being stuck in a boring relationship that has done flat-lined. And, once that drama hits, and someone close to them shows them some attention and flirts with them a little bit and makes a few promises, it's over. A date or a hook-up is bound to happen.
Before you know it, one of your friends or family members have done snuck-in through the back door doggy-style. I said, "Damn!"
It can be heartbreaking and make you want unleash Hell on those dirty rats, but you've got to consider where you went wrong too. Or, at least where the relationship went wrong or sour or downhill.
I'm not pointing any fingers! I'm just looking at the situation from both sides.
In fact, do you know what the sweetest revenge is over those backstabbing rats???
It's when you find out your mate has cheating and he or she wants end the affair or come back. THEN you get the satisfaction of watching that rat squirm and beg for mercy before you kick their ass to the damn curb. Sorry sack of sh*t.
I know - it's Sadistic... But, I'm sure it feels great. And empowering.
(I can't believe it. I'm feeling good about being bad. boner.)
Anyway...
I don't want to make you paranoid. Most of us choose our friends wisely and have good honest friends and companions who would never back-stab us. But, just to be on the safe side, use your instincts and show your Boo some love on a regular basis. Don't let your relationship fall by the wayside or YOU might get bored and lonely and start looking for a form of escape or a way out.
- loveqna
5 Ways "NEGLECT" Can Cause A Man Or Woman To Cheat
I know I promised weeks ago that I would post "50 Reasons Why Men And Women Cheat" without delay, but my mind (brain)... Ugh! It makes me sick to my stomach.
I have so many ideas and plans and things that I want to do (and COULD do)... PLUS! Things that I SHOULD do (and NEED to do), that all of this crap floating around inside my skull makes my life a living hell. I'm sick of it.
Honestly, it's been bugging me that I haven't finished this list, so tonight, I'm gonna go all out.
But, let me warn you...
I might not go into detail so you will have to use your instincts and read between the lines on some of this stuff.
I'm also gonna do a "recap" later on just to make sure we have all fifty reasons laid and played. (laid down and played out)
Okay, let's first start by recognizing some of the needs that can be neglected:
- Emotional Needs
- Physical Needs (we actually covered this under "Why Men and Women Cheat For Sex")
- Sexual Needs (we covered this one too)
- Social Needs (this is the bulk of it)
- Spiritual Needs (this has nothing to do with religion but I'm not going to address this one until later on)
And there are other needs but it's best to cover those later on as well.
Well hell. I guess the others I can cover later on also so let's just jump into the article...
Now, I know a lot of you have heard the widespread myth that states "men cheat for sex and women cheat only when they're neglected". It's been going around for God only knows how long.
Well, I'm here to tell you flat out: That's the biggest bullsh*t ever said about cheating. That ain't NEVER been true. It wasn't true a million years ago and it ain't true now.
Now, don't get me wrong. There have been women who have cheated when they've felt neglected but we all know that hasn't been the ONLY reason women have cheated. We all know there are (and have been; and WILL be) some "loose women" - who are in committed relationships - running around out here in these streets. Anybody that doesn't know it has got to be young and experienced or been living under a damn rock all their life.
On the flip-side, there are MEN out here who cheat because of Neglect also.
A lot of women don't believe it but let me show you why it's true.
Now, I'm not gonna lie and say that these men are cheating because of EMOTIONAL neglect, but men DO get lonely. Men DO get restless and need human interaction. SOME men DO miss their woman when she's away for long periods of time.
A lot of women think men are part of another species and don't have feelings, but men are human too.
Everybody needs a little attention every now and then.
Men need companionship just like a woman needs companionship.
Men need someone to talk to every now and then just like a woman needs someone to talk to every now and then.
Sometimes a man wants to feel his woman in his arms and look into her eyes.
Sometimes HE needs someone to talk to or laugh with.
I'm a guy just like Jesse James (the celeb-actor who cheated on Sandra Bullock). And, I know if I had a fine-ass wife like Sandra Bullock who was on the road all the time working and traveling, and rarely ever saw her, don't you think I'd be lonely sometimes and miss her and crave affection from her? Or, a goodnight kiss every now and then???
I'd be lovesick and frustrated.
Some people need that human interaction EVERY NIGHT (or day, or at least on a regular basis or the emptiness will drive them nuts). And, if their lover can't be there and satisfy their needs, those "lonely" neglected weasels might cheat.
That's why it's rare that long-distance relationships work. Some people need that human experience.
Even Military Families and Couples have to deal with this "test of love". Sometimes the civilian spouse cheats. Sometimes the military spouse cheats.
Sometimes a person's needs can be overwhelming. And, when those needs (or desires) are neglected, the neglected lover might turn to cheating or some other interest to fill the void and ease the frustration.
It's not right but it's a tough position to be in for someone who's lonely feels something is missing from his or her life.
The only way to thwart this evil situation is by checking yourself. You know when you're not spending enough time with your mate. If you two are in a long-distance relationship, use your instincts and recognize when you need to step your game up. When you notice your partner's level of enthusiasm or affection is dropping off, show him or her a little more attention:
Be flirtatious
Give him or her a kiss
Give him or her a hug
Go out
Give the poor slob a compliment
Use your instincts. You know what to do. Show him or her that you're grateful to have such a person your life.
Okay, now here are the "5 Ways NEGLECT Can Cause A Man Or Woman To Cheat":
1. If one partner is always busy with work, or school, or church, or his or her group activities, or hanging out with friends, or always running errands, etc., and doesn't take out "enough" time for his or her partner, this might cause the "neglected" partner's eyes (or heart) to wander.
But, even if the "neglected" partner's eyes don't wander, too much free time could allow an admirer to sneak in and charm and seduce the so-called "neglected" mate.
2. One partner doesn't care or seems uninterested in the relationship.
Not spending "Quality Time" with your mate can be neglectful. This is social neglect. Talking on the phone and texting and emailing is okay but a lot of people don't like being stuck in the house all by themselves all the time. They want to talk to their lover sometimes. They want a hug sometimes. They want to go out with their mate sometimes - even if it's to the grocery store or Wal-Mart. And, for most people (especially women), you'd better do a lot better than the damn grocery store or Wal-Mart. But, some people need that human interaction and affection. And, If their mate won't provide it, the relationship will get dull. And, it might get rough.
3. One partner doesn't care or seems uninterested in the relationship making the other partner feel unloved, unwanted, ugly, or worthless. This is why some people turn to their Internet Friends for communication and worth. Or accidentally find Love on the Net.
It doesn't matter how young you are or old you get, all of us need to feel important to someone in our lives - especially to our love-mates, children, friends, and family. We don't want to be involved with someone who ignores us or who doesn't want to talk or who's sour and pessimistic. We want someone we can talk to and have fun with and make love to. We should be loving and enjoying Life everyday! Right???
So, this is also social neglect AND emotional neglect. But, in this case, you could be right in the same house with the person and he or she hardly ever speaks to you besides a grunt here and there - like HE doesn't want to be disturbed from watching his TV show or working on some personal chores. Or, she's so glued to the TV and always on her cellphone yappin' with her friends that it seems pointless to discuss anything with her. And, when she's not talking to her friends or family members or watching TV, she's running around complaining (nagging you) about something and trying to find something for you to do.
It's funny how these "grunters" and "yappers" have egos and treat their mates like trolls when it's the grunters and yappers that desperately need the makeovers and help with their style and/or appearance.
People in this situation REALLY hate being involved with their mate. And eventually, neither one wants to be bothered with the other. Cheating (or one person thinking about cheating) is common in this type of relationship.
4. The neglected partner doesn't feel like he or she is a part of his or her mates life.
The mate may do a lot of things in secret or even whisper or talk in code in front of his or her mate.
The mate may be spending more time with his or her children, or family members, or friends than he or she is spending with the lover. Giving them more attention than he or she is giving to the relationship.
Because of this, the neglected mate is not able to bond with his or her lover to the point where they can move to deeper levels in the relationship.
Eventually, the partner who feels neglected and left out will drift away and possibly hook-up with someone new.
5. Lack of Contact.
If you're a waffler or a struggling entrepreneur or "trying to get focused" or trying to get over depression, then more than likely, you've been in a relationship in which you've not called your girlfriend or boyfriend for days or weeks at a time. Some people will tolerate it for a while (as you know). But, those that can't will eventually lose interest and find someone else.
Some of you get angry and resort to drastic measures to keep the person or to get revenge, but why get angry at this person when you KNOW you're the one who's neglecting the relationship??? Yeah, it's wrong for him or her to cheat and scandalous that he or she would abandon you in your time of need, but it's best to let him or her go. This may not be the person for you anyway if he or she can't understand what you're going through mentally and emotionally - even though you've tried to explain it to him or her a thousand times.
He or she may be just like some of your relatives and friends, and NEVER really know you or understand you. Rather than get upset and waste your time, energy, money, and emotions, let that guy or girl go until you get yourself together and get back on track. And, if you two can make-up and work things out afterwards, then so be it. If not, "there are plenty more fish in the sea".
If you're a Struggling entrepreneur or someone who's been struggling with "trying to get focused", you might do better to invest in yourself, your education, or search for a good-paying job so that you don't miss out on a good man or good woman. The longer you wait on Love, the more opportunities pass you by.
Time flies, Life moves at a fast pace, and people have short attention spans, so there will always be "distractions" or obligations that will cause one partner (or both partners) to neglect the relationship.
And for those who live with their mate, it's hard as hell to find balance in all of this stuff in our lives.
I don't wanna scare you single folks but when you have to juggle YOUR life, your kids life, your work, time with your mate, worry about your appearance and sex-appeal, keep track of bills and expenses, spend time with your friends and lover and others, and make sure your house is in order and running properly, something or someone is bound to get neglected.
All of this stuff IS your life and it's a serious work-out. You've got to have ESP, more hands than octopus, be a diplomat, move faster than lightning, and stay on the move. You've got to be superwoman or a superman in order NOT TO NEGLECT someone or something.
That's why you see a lot of ladies out here give-up on their dreams. They become moms or devoted lovers and go with what's most important in their lives. They focus their attention on the people they care about so that they don't feel neglected and so that they can pursue their dreams and goals. They hit that point in their lives where the "Reality check" light comes on and they let go of many of their desires and make room for their new Priorities.
I've even seen guys give-up their dreams of stardom to devote their lives to their new wife and kids. Sometimes it's a good thing. Sometimes that's what a scrub or a lame guy needs to get his life on track - some real responsibilities.
Well, that's it.
I know I've rambled and I've made this post longer than I planned, but I can't help it. I'll just have to try harder next time. Or, just read a little bit here and there. You don't have to read all of this crap in one sitting. Take it easy.
- loveqna
I have so many ideas and plans and things that I want to do (and COULD do)... PLUS! Things that I SHOULD do (and NEED to do), that all of this crap floating around inside my skull makes my life a living hell. I'm sick of it.
Honestly, it's been bugging me that I haven't finished this list, so tonight, I'm gonna go all out.
But, let me warn you...
I might not go into detail so you will have to use your instincts and read between the lines on some of this stuff.
I'm also gonna do a "recap" later on just to make sure we have all fifty reasons laid and played. (laid down and played out)
Okay, let's first start by recognizing some of the needs that can be neglected:
- Emotional Needs
- Physical Needs (we actually covered this under "Why Men and Women Cheat For Sex")
- Sexual Needs (we covered this one too)
- Social Needs (this is the bulk of it)
- Spiritual Needs (this has nothing to do with religion but I'm not going to address this one until later on)
And there are other needs but it's best to cover those later on as well.
Well hell. I guess the others I can cover later on also so let's just jump into the article...
Now, I know a lot of you have heard the widespread myth that states "men cheat for sex and women cheat only when they're neglected". It's been going around for God only knows how long.
Well, I'm here to tell you flat out: That's the biggest bullsh*t ever said about cheating. That ain't NEVER been true. It wasn't true a million years ago and it ain't true now.
Now, don't get me wrong. There have been women who have cheated when they've felt neglected but we all know that hasn't been the ONLY reason women have cheated. We all know there are (and have been; and WILL be) some "loose women" - who are in committed relationships - running around out here in these streets. Anybody that doesn't know it has got to be young and experienced or been living under a damn rock all their life.
On the flip-side, there are MEN out here who cheat because of Neglect also.
A lot of women don't believe it but let me show you why it's true.
Now, I'm not gonna lie and say that these men are cheating because of EMOTIONAL neglect, but men DO get lonely. Men DO get restless and need human interaction. SOME men DO miss their woman when she's away for long periods of time.
A lot of women think men are part of another species and don't have feelings, but men are human too.
Everybody needs a little attention every now and then.
Men need companionship just like a woman needs companionship.
Men need someone to talk to every now and then just like a woman needs someone to talk to every now and then.
Sometimes a man wants to feel his woman in his arms and look into her eyes.
Sometimes HE needs someone to talk to or laugh with.
I'm a guy just like Jesse James (the celeb-actor who cheated on Sandra Bullock). And, I know if I had a fine-ass wife like Sandra Bullock who was on the road all the time working and traveling, and rarely ever saw her, don't you think I'd be lonely sometimes and miss her and crave affection from her? Or, a goodnight kiss every now and then???
I'd be lovesick and frustrated.
Some people need that human interaction EVERY NIGHT (or day, or at least on a regular basis or the emptiness will drive them nuts). And, if their lover can't be there and satisfy their needs, those "lonely" neglected weasels might cheat.
That's why it's rare that long-distance relationships work. Some people need that human experience.
Even Military Families and Couples have to deal with this "test of love". Sometimes the civilian spouse cheats. Sometimes the military spouse cheats.
Sometimes a person's needs can be overwhelming. And, when those needs (or desires) are neglected, the neglected lover might turn to cheating or some other interest to fill the void and ease the frustration.
It's not right but it's a tough position to be in for someone who's lonely feels something is missing from his or her life.
The only way to thwart this evil situation is by checking yourself. You know when you're not spending enough time with your mate. If you two are in a long-distance relationship, use your instincts and recognize when you need to step your game up. When you notice your partner's level of enthusiasm or affection is dropping off, show him or her a little more attention:
Be flirtatious
Give him or her a kiss
Give him or her a hug
Go out
Give the poor slob a compliment
Use your instincts. You know what to do. Show him or her that you're grateful to have such a person your life.
Okay, now here are the "5 Ways NEGLECT Can Cause A Man Or Woman To Cheat":
1. If one partner is always busy with work, or school, or church, or his or her group activities, or hanging out with friends, or always running errands, etc., and doesn't take out "enough" time for his or her partner, this might cause the "neglected" partner's eyes (or heart) to wander.
But, even if the "neglected" partner's eyes don't wander, too much free time could allow an admirer to sneak in and charm and seduce the so-called "neglected" mate.
2. One partner doesn't care or seems uninterested in the relationship.
Not spending "Quality Time" with your mate can be neglectful. This is social neglect. Talking on the phone and texting and emailing is okay but a lot of people don't like being stuck in the house all by themselves all the time. They want to talk to their lover sometimes. They want a hug sometimes. They want to go out with their mate sometimes - even if it's to the grocery store or Wal-Mart. And, for most people (especially women), you'd better do a lot better than the damn grocery store or Wal-Mart. But, some people need that human interaction and affection. And, If their mate won't provide it, the relationship will get dull. And, it might get rough.
3. One partner doesn't care or seems uninterested in the relationship making the other partner feel unloved, unwanted, ugly, or worthless. This is why some people turn to their Internet Friends for communication and worth. Or accidentally find Love on the Net.
It doesn't matter how young you are or old you get, all of us need to feel important to someone in our lives - especially to our love-mates, children, friends, and family. We don't want to be involved with someone who ignores us or who doesn't want to talk or who's sour and pessimistic. We want someone we can talk to and have fun with and make love to. We should be loving and enjoying Life everyday! Right???
So, this is also social neglect AND emotional neglect. But, in this case, you could be right in the same house with the person and he or she hardly ever speaks to you besides a grunt here and there - like HE doesn't want to be disturbed from watching his TV show or working on some personal chores. Or, she's so glued to the TV and always on her cellphone yappin' with her friends that it seems pointless to discuss anything with her. And, when she's not talking to her friends or family members or watching TV, she's running around complaining (nagging you) about something and trying to find something for you to do.
It's funny how these "grunters" and "yappers" have egos and treat their mates like trolls when it's the grunters and yappers that desperately need the makeovers and help with their style and/or appearance.
People in this situation REALLY hate being involved with their mate. And eventually, neither one wants to be bothered with the other. Cheating (or one person thinking about cheating) is common in this type of relationship.
4. The neglected partner doesn't feel like he or she is a part of his or her mates life.
The mate may do a lot of things in secret or even whisper or talk in code in front of his or her mate.
The mate may be spending more time with his or her children, or family members, or friends than he or she is spending with the lover. Giving them more attention than he or she is giving to the relationship.
Because of this, the neglected mate is not able to bond with his or her lover to the point where they can move to deeper levels in the relationship.
Eventually, the partner who feels neglected and left out will drift away and possibly hook-up with someone new.
5. Lack of Contact.
If you're a waffler or a struggling entrepreneur or "trying to get focused" or trying to get over depression, then more than likely, you've been in a relationship in which you've not called your girlfriend or boyfriend for days or weeks at a time. Some people will tolerate it for a while (as you know). But, those that can't will eventually lose interest and find someone else.
Some of you get angry and resort to drastic measures to keep the person or to get revenge, but why get angry at this person when you KNOW you're the one who's neglecting the relationship??? Yeah, it's wrong for him or her to cheat and scandalous that he or she would abandon you in your time of need, but it's best to let him or her go. This may not be the person for you anyway if he or she can't understand what you're going through mentally and emotionally - even though you've tried to explain it to him or her a thousand times.
He or she may be just like some of your relatives and friends, and NEVER really know you or understand you. Rather than get upset and waste your time, energy, money, and emotions, let that guy or girl go until you get yourself together and get back on track. And, if you two can make-up and work things out afterwards, then so be it. If not, "there are plenty more fish in the sea".
If you're a Struggling entrepreneur or someone who's been struggling with "trying to get focused", you might do better to invest in yourself, your education, or search for a good-paying job so that you don't miss out on a good man or good woman. The longer you wait on Love, the more opportunities pass you by.
Time flies, Life moves at a fast pace, and people have short attention spans, so there will always be "distractions" or obligations that will cause one partner (or both partners) to neglect the relationship.
And for those who live with their mate, it's hard as hell to find balance in all of this stuff in our lives.
I don't wanna scare you single folks but when you have to juggle YOUR life, your kids life, your work, time with your mate, worry about your appearance and sex-appeal, keep track of bills and expenses, spend time with your friends and lover and others, and make sure your house is in order and running properly, something or someone is bound to get neglected.
All of this stuff IS your life and it's a serious work-out. You've got to have ESP, more hands than octopus, be a diplomat, move faster than lightning, and stay on the move. You've got to be superwoman or a superman in order NOT TO NEGLECT someone or something.
That's why you see a lot of ladies out here give-up on their dreams. They become moms or devoted lovers and go with what's most important in their lives. They focus their attention on the people they care about so that they don't feel neglected and so that they can pursue their dreams and goals. They hit that point in their lives where the "Reality check" light comes on and they let go of many of their desires and make room for their new Priorities.
I've even seen guys give-up their dreams of stardom to devote their lives to their new wife and kids. Sometimes it's a good thing. Sometimes that's what a scrub or a lame guy needs to get his life on track - some real responsibilities.
Well, that's it.
I know I've rambled and I've made this post longer than I planned, but I can't help it. I'll just have to try harder next time. Or, just read a little bit here and there. You don't have to read all of this crap in one sitting. Take it easy.
- loveqna
What It's Like To Date A Female Player - 6
Thank God...
That broad is gone.
Before I get into the details, I want you to know how I maintained will-power strong enough to resist the mindgames and Jedi tricks of a player so that you can do the same...
It wasn't easy at first because I really thought this chick was something special. She has almost every quality I ever wanted in a woman.
But, the more I saw of her, the more sillier and sillier she appeared to be with those simple-minded mind games. I've never seen a girl who was so smart act so damn stupid.
I guess when you have sex-appeal and get a lot of attention, it kind of makes you lose your mind and imagine you're some kind of god or goddess or something.
That chick could go far in life with her style and charm but compared to a lot of these other ladies out here who are looking for good love and who don't even play these mindgames, she's small potatoes.
She thinks she's got it going on and there she is living with her "roommate" ex-boyfriend (and still having sex with him) and she's still on the job begging for money and food. What kind of sh*t is that???
Her game ain't as tight as she thinks it is that's for damn sure.
Some of these players out here are no joke. They will try anything and say anything to win your trust and friendship so that they can take advantage of you.
They will try to flatter you and "butter you up" with compliments.
They will offer their help and advice.
They will perform favors for you so that you will feel obligated to return certain favors.
They will entertain you and try to impress you with their knowledge, confidence, or intellect. And, we all know some of them like to make jokes and be funny to make you laugh in hopes of you letting your guards down.
They'll get to know you and then try to use "guilt-tripping" tactics!
Don't fall for that sh*t!
Cut those bums off early before they milk your pockets bone dry!
When that bum starts telling you his or her sob-story, acknowledge his or her hard luck and don't say a word otherwise.
Help the needy not the sleazy. And sleazy-ass weasels are as sly as a damn fox!
And, be careful that you don't let one of those controlling bullies take over your life! Get out early! And Get away!
Get as far away from him or her as possible, and avoid the scoundrel whenever you can.
When you see him or her coming, go in the opposite direction. Run.
Everyone of those scoundrels have an agenda - please believe it. They don't try to butter you up and be your friend (out of the blue) for no reason. They want something!
Those sneaky devils are always on the hunt for money, or sex, or status, or transportation, or a free lunch.
They'll approach you disguised as sweet innocent lambs, but in reality they are wolves ready to devour fresh meat!
They'll eat up everything you have and make a joke of you behind your back. And, they'll laugh about it with their friends.
Don't do any favors for them if you can help it! And, don't do a favor more than once if you can't. They're like a hungry stray cat. Once you feed the sorry sap-sucker, he or she will always come to you for something to eat.
They'll run your ass into the ground until you can't afford to buy YOURSELF anything to eat.
"GIVE TO THE NEEDY, NOT THE SNEAKY OR GREEDY."
Some of you may already have good instincts and know about the manipulation tactics of players, playettes, con-artists, tricks, and scammers.
Some of you have probably gained experience because you have been used and played for a sucker in the past.
But there are still millions of people out there getting "pimped" and "played" and don't even know it!
They can't get ahead or move up in life because they keep throwing their blessings (and Time, and money) away on some loser who could care less about where they ARE in life or where they end up in life. Why give your hard-earned money away to a player - a loser - who will only waste it? Or, give it to someone else!
These poor dumb chumps don't realize that they're just a back-up plan for these miserable wannabee players. When all else fails, these wannabee players know they can manipulate these chumps.
Open your eyes Suckers and take heed!
Beware of their games and Stop letting these bums play you out!
And, for those you who are looking for love, honesty, and loyalty...
You'll never get what you REALLY want out of those heathens by trickin' and allowing them to manipulate you!
Letem go. Even if they go away mad, letem go.
Now, for the latest...
In the last post of this "series", I mentioned that "Slim n Sexy" was going through a bit of family and financial drama.
Well, she had to leave Charlotte and go back to her hometown.
A few days or so before she had given her "notice" to our boss, she was flirting with me again and calling out my name and so forth. I knew she was gonna do this stuff so it really didn't surprise me.
But, I WAS shocked when she informed me that she was quitting her job and going back home, but, I was also glad to see her go. That girl was nothing but a damn moocher. Even one of her "friends" who actually liked her laughed and said she had milked all of us so now she had to go to another job and milk those folks.
That beggin-ass girl had the nerve to ask me if I was gonna give her a going-away present and she never even paid me back the money I loaned her to pay her cellphone bill.
And you know we recently got into that argument and she expects me to swoon over a few flirtatious remarks, kiss her feet, and give her a going-away present???
I wanted to stick up my middle finger at her and say: "Yeah, I have a going-away present for ya, right here... Let me know when you need some more."
I'm serious.
She asked me two or three times about a going away present and I came close to showing her that middle finger.
I had to avoid that chick the rest of the day until she was gone. And, I hated that I had to do it. She looked gorgeous as usual and I wanted to get my hug before she left but, I couldn't stand all of that damn beggin'. Greedy beggin' gold-diggers just turn me off.
I'm about sixty percent sure I might've missed out on "something else" by not acknowledging her, but to hell with it. They're still plenty of other fish in the sea and more sirens await!
Good riddens.
Besides, I haven't run out of Options yet.
- loveqna
That broad is gone.
Before I get into the details, I want you to know how I maintained will-power strong enough to resist the mindgames and Jedi tricks of a player so that you can do the same...
It wasn't easy at first because I really thought this chick was something special. She has almost every quality I ever wanted in a woman.
But, the more I saw of her, the more sillier and sillier she appeared to be with those simple-minded mind games. I've never seen a girl who was so smart act so damn stupid.
I guess when you have sex-appeal and get a lot of attention, it kind of makes you lose your mind and imagine you're some kind of god or goddess or something.
That chick could go far in life with her style and charm but compared to a lot of these other ladies out here who are looking for good love and who don't even play these mindgames, she's small potatoes.
She thinks she's got it going on and there she is living with her "roommate" ex-boyfriend (and still having sex with him) and she's still on the job begging for money and food. What kind of sh*t is that???
Her game ain't as tight as she thinks it is that's for damn sure.
Some of these players out here are no joke. They will try anything and say anything to win your trust and friendship so that they can take advantage of you.
They will try to flatter you and "butter you up" with compliments.
They will offer their help and advice.
They will perform favors for you so that you will feel obligated to return certain favors.
They will entertain you and try to impress you with their knowledge, confidence, or intellect. And, we all know some of them like to make jokes and be funny to make you laugh in hopes of you letting your guards down.
They'll get to know you and then try to use "guilt-tripping" tactics!
Don't fall for that sh*t!
Cut those bums off early before they milk your pockets bone dry!
When that bum starts telling you his or her sob-story, acknowledge his or her hard luck and don't say a word otherwise.
Help the needy not the sleazy. And sleazy-ass weasels are as sly as a damn fox!
And, be careful that you don't let one of those controlling bullies take over your life! Get out early! And Get away!
Get as far away from him or her as possible, and avoid the scoundrel whenever you can.
When you see him or her coming, go in the opposite direction. Run.
Everyone of those scoundrels have an agenda - please believe it. They don't try to butter you up and be your friend (out of the blue) for no reason. They want something!
Those sneaky devils are always on the hunt for money, or sex, or status, or transportation, or a free lunch.
They'll approach you disguised as sweet innocent lambs, but in reality they are wolves ready to devour fresh meat!
They'll eat up everything you have and make a joke of you behind your back. And, they'll laugh about it with their friends.
Don't do any favors for them if you can help it! And, don't do a favor more than once if you can't. They're like a hungry stray cat. Once you feed the sorry sap-sucker, he or she will always come to you for something to eat.
They'll run your ass into the ground until you can't afford to buy YOURSELF anything to eat.
"GIVE TO THE NEEDY, NOT THE SNEAKY OR GREEDY."
Some of you may already have good instincts and know about the manipulation tactics of players, playettes, con-artists, tricks, and scammers.
Some of you have probably gained experience because you have been used and played for a sucker in the past.
But there are still millions of people out there getting "pimped" and "played" and don't even know it!
They can't get ahead or move up in life because they keep throwing their blessings (and Time, and money) away on some loser who could care less about where they ARE in life or where they end up in life. Why give your hard-earned money away to a player - a loser - who will only waste it? Or, give it to someone else!
These poor dumb chumps don't realize that they're just a back-up plan for these miserable wannabee players. When all else fails, these wannabee players know they can manipulate these chumps.
Open your eyes Suckers and take heed!
Beware of their games and Stop letting these bums play you out!
And, for those you who are looking for love, honesty, and loyalty...
You'll never get what you REALLY want out of those heathens by trickin' and allowing them to manipulate you!
Letem go. Even if they go away mad, letem go.
Now, for the latest...
In the last post of this "series", I mentioned that "Slim n Sexy" was going through a bit of family and financial drama.
Well, she had to leave Charlotte and go back to her hometown.
A few days or so before she had given her "notice" to our boss, she was flirting with me again and calling out my name and so forth. I knew she was gonna do this stuff so it really didn't surprise me.
But, I WAS shocked when she informed me that she was quitting her job and going back home, but, I was also glad to see her go. That girl was nothing but a damn moocher. Even one of her "friends" who actually liked her laughed and said she had milked all of us so now she had to go to another job and milk those folks.
That beggin-ass girl had the nerve to ask me if I was gonna give her a going-away present and she never even paid me back the money I loaned her to pay her cellphone bill.
And you know we recently got into that argument and she expects me to swoon over a few flirtatious remarks, kiss her feet, and give her a going-away present???
I wanted to stick up my middle finger at her and say: "Yeah, I have a going-away present for ya, right here... Let me know when you need some more."
I'm serious.
She asked me two or three times about a going away present and I came close to showing her that middle finger.
I had to avoid that chick the rest of the day until she was gone. And, I hated that I had to do it. She looked gorgeous as usual and I wanted to get my hug before she left but, I couldn't stand all of that damn beggin'. Greedy beggin' gold-diggers just turn me off.
I'm about sixty percent sure I might've missed out on "something else" by not acknowledging her, but to hell with it. They're still plenty of other fish in the sea and more sirens await!
Good riddens.
Besides, I haven't run out of Options yet.
- loveqna
MUSIC - Amos Lee - Sweet Pea
This is a cute melody and a nice song to hum, but I had a "sweet pea" of my own once - and she got on my damn nerves...
Video provided by - rythebrain
- loveqna
Video provided by - rythebrain
- loveqna
VIDEO - Wendi Deng Murdoch Smacks Pie-Thrower Who Attacks Husband
I bet he won't be throwin' any more pies for a while. That S.O.B. better be glad his head was glued to his damn neck cause that chick almost knocked it clean off.
Video provided by - slatester
- loveqna
Why A Man Needs Two Or More Women
Before you start cussin' me out, let me speak.
I'm NOT saying that a man SHOULD HAVE more than one woman.
And, I'll say it again:
I'm NOT saying that a man SHOULD HAVE more than ONE woman.
If a man has found TRUE LOVE then one woman will be all that he needs. Usually.
I believe this because I believe his heart and mind won't allow him to seek anyone else - IF it's True Love. But, that's just how I see it.
I believe Love will FORCE you to be devoted to ONE PERSON - To be OBSESSED by ONE person and to compel you to only want to please and cater to him or her. It can't be cut into pieces and shared like slices of cake or pie. You can't spread it around because you can't possess Love. You can't OWN it. It owns you.
Okay. I'm not trying to philosophical but you heard what I said, so I don't wanna hear no sh*t from anybody.
Okay.
Now, Surprise...
This is also a post about "Why A Woman Needs Two Or More Men" because SOME women out there feel they have to have more than one guy to be completely satisfied.
It's true!
So, for the record...
I'M not saying that a woman SHOULD HAVE two or more men. I'm addressing the women out there who believe they need more than one man (or love-mate) in their life to be completely satisfied.
Now, let me tell you what this is all about.
It's another post about cheaters and why they feel they need a lover on the side - or two or three lovers on the side.
They do it because they're hard to please, dissatisfied with their circumstances, and unhappy.
This particular reason for cheating is based on Variety. But not sexual variety.
There are many people out there who feel that they don't (or can't) have all of the "voids" in their life filled by one person. They feel they NEED additional mates to help them enjoy certain aspects of life that their Main Squeeze (or Primary Lover) can't help them with.
It's kind of like guys and girls who have their best friend for fun, secrets, gossip, shopping, and hanging out with and a lover for intimacy, affection, and romance.
The lover provides certain "social benefits" and their best friend provides certain "social benefits".
So, why does the man need more than one woman??? In this case, he may be looking for or intrigued by OTHER "Benefits" such as:
- Personality
- Style and Sex Appeal
- Beauty
- Status
Or, he may need to FEEL, SEE, HEAR, SMELL, and TASTE something DIFFERENT.
That could be anything. It may be great sex.
But, as I've stated before, cheaters don't always cheat for sex. In most cases sex is inevitable. It's expected to happen. The cheater wants it to happen. But after he and his lover has had sex, why does he keep going back? I'll tell you why...
He might keep his lover because he FEELS his lover is more entertaining, easier to talk to, prettier, sexier, more outspoken, more confident, more understanding, more charming, or classier. There is something that this other person brings to the table that he's not getting at "home".
A woman who cheats might feel the same way about her lover. It's possible that she deeply cares about her partner but she might not find her partner so entertaining. Maybe they don't have "deep" conversations. Maybe her partner is too serious or too playful. Maybe her partner is weak and she craves someone stronger. Maybe they never go anywhere or do anything romantic or fun. Or, maybe she is simply MORE TURNED-ON by this new person's personality, charm, and beauty. Who knows why she is swooning over this bum.
But even when a man or woman finds an additional partner, he or she may still fall for a THIRD one.
Why?
(And, we're NOT using Sex as an excuse in this post. We've already touched on sexual variety in another post.)
It's the same reason. The cheater will continue to cheat to fill "voids" in his or her life.
What is he looking for THIS time???
This third lover may be MORE generous than the first two. He or she may be more adventurous. He or she may be MORE charming. MORE entertaining. MORE beautiful. Sexier. Whatever.
I know some of you are saying that this is all bullcrap. And, I don't blame you for being pissed-off. But, let me ask you this:
Why do you think some men (AND women) don't want to get married???
If they're in love, why don't they want to be tied down? Why don't THEY want to tie their lover down??? Why aren't THEY begging for their lover's hand in marriage???
Because they're afraid they're going to be trapped in a relationship that is going to get old, dull, and boring. And they're afraid that THEY'RE going to get old, dull, and boring if they get stuck in this "situation".
That's why a lot of men DON'T say "I Do."
They'd rather stay single and have Variety. More variety means more fun-filled EXPERIENCES. Less routine and monotony.
It's like dining out.
If you go to the same restaurant every time you go out (or eat at home all the time) it'll get boring as hell.
But, if you go out to a VARIETY of restaurants and try something different every once and a while, it's like a new adventure every time.
Some people NEED variety. Some people NEED to FEEL, SEE, HEAR, SMELL, and TASTE something DIFFERENT.
Some people feel they need extra lovers to feel "voids" that one lover can't provide.
I've heard plenty of women say that they don't want to be tied down to someone who is only going to get old, fat, and boring. I've heard lots of guys say they don't want to get married because there are too many beautiful women out here to have just one. They'll never be able to get all of those hot babes or even half of them but they want to have options if things get rough - or, if their lives start to look bleak and empty.
Options. Variety. An escape route! That's why a man needs two or more women! He needs someone to turn to take his mind off of his routine lifestyle and to help keep his life exciting.
I remember I used to hear some crap on certain radio stations here in Charlotte about why women needed four or five men in their love-life.
They needed one man to help them out from time to time with bills.
They needed another guy who was sensitive and understanding.
They needed a third man who was outstanding in bed.
They needed a fourth man for fun and excitement.
I forgot why they needed a fifth man, but it was probably to babysit their damn kids.
Sometimes they're searching for something or someone to fill a void and they don't know what that void is. Most of the time they simply crave a new adventure or some excitement. They're greedy to try something new.
You're lucky if you're not in a serious relationship with one of these types of cheaters. But if you are (or, you're in love with one), your only hope is personal improvement (appearance, style, confidence, charm, independence, etc.) and playing a little hard to get - and, that doesn't work all the time.
But, if you want this person, you'll have to try to fill those "voids". You have to give him or her a little bit of everything he or she wants and NEEDS.
Remember: These cheaters love to sample, therefore, they love to chase. They always want to try something new and different. And, when you appear different to them, they get curious and want a taste of the NEW You.
But, be aware: You must not be too easy to get but you can't be too hard to get also. Use your charm and powers of seduction to win his or her heart. Whatever the bum wants, try to give it to him (or her). That MIGHT keep him or her coming back for more.
And, if it doesn't,
Find someone who's "simple", easy to please, and who doesn't have a lot of Needs or needs a lot of Variety.
- loveqna
I'm NOT saying that a man SHOULD HAVE more than one woman.
And, I'll say it again:
I'm NOT saying that a man SHOULD HAVE more than ONE woman.
If a man has found TRUE LOVE then one woman will be all that he needs. Usually.
I believe this because I believe his heart and mind won't allow him to seek anyone else - IF it's True Love. But, that's just how I see it.
I believe Love will FORCE you to be devoted to ONE PERSON - To be OBSESSED by ONE person and to compel you to only want to please and cater to him or her. It can't be cut into pieces and shared like slices of cake or pie. You can't spread it around because you can't possess Love. You can't OWN it. It owns you.
Okay. I'm not trying to philosophical but you heard what I said, so I don't wanna hear no sh*t from anybody.
Okay.
Now, Surprise...
This is also a post about "Why A Woman Needs Two Or More Men" because SOME women out there feel they have to have more than one guy to be completely satisfied.
It's true!
So, for the record...
I'M not saying that a woman SHOULD HAVE two or more men. I'm addressing the women out there who believe they need more than one man (or love-mate) in their life to be completely satisfied.
Now, let me tell you what this is all about.
It's another post about cheaters and why they feel they need a lover on the side - or two or three lovers on the side.
They do it because they're hard to please, dissatisfied with their circumstances, and unhappy.
This particular reason for cheating is based on Variety. But not sexual variety.
There are many people out there who feel that they don't (or can't) have all of the "voids" in their life filled by one person. They feel they NEED additional mates to help them enjoy certain aspects of life that their Main Squeeze (or Primary Lover) can't help them with.
It's kind of like guys and girls who have their best friend for fun, secrets, gossip, shopping, and hanging out with and a lover for intimacy, affection, and romance.
The lover provides certain "social benefits" and their best friend provides certain "social benefits".
So, why does the man need more than one woman??? In this case, he may be looking for or intrigued by OTHER "Benefits" such as:
- Personality
- Style and Sex Appeal
- Beauty
- Status
Or, he may need to FEEL, SEE, HEAR, SMELL, and TASTE something DIFFERENT.
That could be anything. It may be great sex.
But, as I've stated before, cheaters don't always cheat for sex. In most cases sex is inevitable. It's expected to happen. The cheater wants it to happen. But after he and his lover has had sex, why does he keep going back? I'll tell you why...
He might keep his lover because he FEELS his lover is more entertaining, easier to talk to, prettier, sexier, more outspoken, more confident, more understanding, more charming, or classier. There is something that this other person brings to the table that he's not getting at "home".
A woman who cheats might feel the same way about her lover. It's possible that she deeply cares about her partner but she might not find her partner so entertaining. Maybe they don't have "deep" conversations. Maybe her partner is too serious or too playful. Maybe her partner is weak and she craves someone stronger. Maybe they never go anywhere or do anything romantic or fun. Or, maybe she is simply MORE TURNED-ON by this new person's personality, charm, and beauty. Who knows why she is swooning over this bum.
But even when a man or woman finds an additional partner, he or she may still fall for a THIRD one.
Why?
(And, we're NOT using Sex as an excuse in this post. We've already touched on sexual variety in another post.)
It's the same reason. The cheater will continue to cheat to fill "voids" in his or her life.
What is he looking for THIS time???
This third lover may be MORE generous than the first two. He or she may be more adventurous. He or she may be MORE charming. MORE entertaining. MORE beautiful. Sexier. Whatever.
I know some of you are saying that this is all bullcrap. And, I don't blame you for being pissed-off. But, let me ask you this:
Why do you think some men (AND women) don't want to get married???
If they're in love, why don't they want to be tied down? Why don't THEY want to tie their lover down??? Why aren't THEY begging for their lover's hand in marriage???
Because they're afraid they're going to be trapped in a relationship that is going to get old, dull, and boring. And they're afraid that THEY'RE going to get old, dull, and boring if they get stuck in this "situation".
That's why a lot of men DON'T say "I Do."
They'd rather stay single and have Variety. More variety means more fun-filled EXPERIENCES. Less routine and monotony.
It's like dining out.
If you go to the same restaurant every time you go out (or eat at home all the time) it'll get boring as hell.
But, if you go out to a VARIETY of restaurants and try something different every once and a while, it's like a new adventure every time.
Some people NEED variety. Some people NEED to FEEL, SEE, HEAR, SMELL, and TASTE something DIFFERENT.
Some people feel they need extra lovers to feel "voids" that one lover can't provide.
I've heard plenty of women say that they don't want to be tied down to someone who is only going to get old, fat, and boring. I've heard lots of guys say they don't want to get married because there are too many beautiful women out here to have just one. They'll never be able to get all of those hot babes or even half of them but they want to have options if things get rough - or, if their lives start to look bleak and empty.
Options. Variety. An escape route! That's why a man needs two or more women! He needs someone to turn to take his mind off of his routine lifestyle and to help keep his life exciting.
I remember I used to hear some crap on certain radio stations here in Charlotte about why women needed four or five men in their love-life.
They needed one man to help them out from time to time with bills.
They needed another guy who was sensitive and understanding.
They needed a third man who was outstanding in bed.
They needed a fourth man for fun and excitement.
I forgot why they needed a fifth man, but it was probably to babysit their damn kids.
Sometimes they're searching for something or someone to fill a void and they don't know what that void is. Most of the time they simply crave a new adventure or some excitement. They're greedy to try something new.
You're lucky if you're not in a serious relationship with one of these types of cheaters. But if you are (or, you're in love with one), your only hope is personal improvement (appearance, style, confidence, charm, independence, etc.) and playing a little hard to get - and, that doesn't work all the time.
But, if you want this person, you'll have to try to fill those "voids". You have to give him or her a little bit of everything he or she wants and NEEDS.
Remember: These cheaters love to sample, therefore, they love to chase. They always want to try something new and different. And, when you appear different to them, they get curious and want a taste of the NEW You.
But, be aware: You must not be too easy to get but you can't be too hard to get also. Use your charm and powers of seduction to win his or her heart. Whatever the bum wants, try to give it to him (or her). That MIGHT keep him or her coming back for more.
And, if it doesn't,
Find someone who's "simple", easy to please, and who doesn't have a lot of Needs or needs a lot of Variety.
- loveqna
What It's Like To Date A Female Player - 5
As soon as I turned into the parking lot yesterday, I someone called out my name.
I scanned the parking lot and saw that it was Slim. That chick was sexy. She wore some tight blue jeans and a form-fitting t-shirt that hugged her breasts. And as she headed my way, I couldn't take my eyes off that broad and her sexy walk. She's not a thick chick but she has a sexy body. And the way those hips swayed when she walked... I said "damn".
But, I knew she was coming over to beg for something. That poor dumb girl is nothing but a damn moocher.
She wanted a cigarette. I gave her two for good measure.
Then she started telling me her sob story...
She was having more family issues and financial issues. I don't want to discuss them because they're personal and a little bit sad. But, she could've been making all of that stuff up to get a few bucks out me.
I told you before that this chick was going to come to me and want to talk. She has a one or two other people there she could talk to but now, she is coming to me also. I don't mind listening and letting her release some of those "demons", but it does pain me to see her hurting like this.
I want to help this broad. I want to chill with her. But, I can't give her the money she needs. I just can't do it.
She's too much of a player. And she could be lying and making all of this sh*t up. You know how beggars do: They'll tell you how hard of a time they're having and how only a few dollars could really help them out, and blah, blah, blah... Crackheads do the same sh*t. I ain't falling for that B.S. She may be trying to trick me out of my money or string me along for financial support for a while. I want to be with her and be there for her but she can kiss my ass. I'm tired of those weak-ass lies and games.
I told you before how the chick was trying to nickel-and-dime me everyday for lunch, breakfast, and gas, like I was her man but when I asked her to price the business cards, or to call me, or if she wanted help with her book project, she ignored me.
Her lying ass probably ain't even working on a book. At best, she's probably got a paragraph scribbled out in a notebook.
And, she still tries to play these "games".
Let me tell you something: I'm not a cold-hearted person. I really would love to be with this girl in a long-term commitment. But, I'm no jackass either. And, I refuse to let her play me out. I don't trust her.
"Never trust a trick and never trust a player."
That's my motto.
If she never sees the light, it will be both of our loss. If she opens her eyes and her mind, I could turn her on to a better lifestyle.
I'm not rich of course, but I'd do more for her than that "roommate" she's living with.
But, I'm not about chasing another man's woman or friend or "roommate", I've got my options open and I won't let one silly girl bring my whole world down.
And, that's what you have to do - whether you're a guy or a girl. Love is strong but you must not let it become selfish Love to the point where you would trick yourself and play yourself out to be with someone who is full of games and drama.
Be in love but stay in the zone.
Keep your mind focused and believe in the dream. Don't always believe in Man or woMan because they can disappoint you, mislead you, or bring you down.
- loveqna
I scanned the parking lot and saw that it was Slim. That chick was sexy. She wore some tight blue jeans and a form-fitting t-shirt that hugged her breasts. And as she headed my way, I couldn't take my eyes off that broad and her sexy walk. She's not a thick chick but she has a sexy body. And the way those hips swayed when she walked... I said "damn".
But, I knew she was coming over to beg for something. That poor dumb girl is nothing but a damn moocher.
She wanted a cigarette. I gave her two for good measure.
Then she started telling me her sob story...
She was having more family issues and financial issues. I don't want to discuss them because they're personal and a little bit sad. But, she could've been making all of that stuff up to get a few bucks out me.
I told you before that this chick was going to come to me and want to talk. She has a one or two other people there she could talk to but now, she is coming to me also. I don't mind listening and letting her release some of those "demons", but it does pain me to see her hurting like this.
I want to help this broad. I want to chill with her. But, I can't give her the money she needs. I just can't do it.
She's too much of a player. And she could be lying and making all of this sh*t up. You know how beggars do: They'll tell you how hard of a time they're having and how only a few dollars could really help them out, and blah, blah, blah... Crackheads do the same sh*t. I ain't falling for that B.S. She may be trying to trick me out of my money or string me along for financial support for a while. I want to be with her and be there for her but she can kiss my ass. I'm tired of those weak-ass lies and games.
I told you before how the chick was trying to nickel-and-dime me everyday for lunch, breakfast, and gas, like I was her man but when I asked her to price the business cards, or to call me, or if she wanted help with her book project, she ignored me.
Her lying ass probably ain't even working on a book. At best, she's probably got a paragraph scribbled out in a notebook.
And, she still tries to play these "games".
Let me tell you something: I'm not a cold-hearted person. I really would love to be with this girl in a long-term commitment. But, I'm no jackass either. And, I refuse to let her play me out. I don't trust her.
"Never trust a trick and never trust a player."
That's my motto.
If she never sees the light, it will be both of our loss. If she opens her eyes and her mind, I could turn her on to a better lifestyle.
I'm not rich of course, but I'd do more for her than that "roommate" she's living with.
But, I'm not about chasing another man's woman or friend or "roommate", I've got my options open and I won't let one silly girl bring my whole world down.
And, that's what you have to do - whether you're a guy or a girl. Love is strong but you must not let it become selfish Love to the point where you would trick yourself and play yourself out to be with someone who is full of games and drama.
Be in love but stay in the zone.
Keep your mind focused and believe in the dream. Don't always believe in Man or woMan because they can disappoint you, mislead you, or bring you down.
- loveqna
VIDEO - 2 Girls Fighting Over The Same Guy
I don't know what's going on here but as you can see, no matter how Hot you are or THINK you are, it's personality, style, and character that usually wins the date. I'm not saying the girl with glasses is ugly, but the "princess" appears to be a showgirl who is more concerned about her looks. Or, maybe the guy is just a dog. Anyway, you can see who the guy has chosen in the end. I wonder if he went back and begged forgiveness???
Video provided by - xx2ndgenxx
- loveqna
Video provided by - xx2ndgenxx
- loveqna
VIDEO - hysterical chinese girl/ "The Psycho Girlfriend"
Girlfriend goes nuts!
I'm not sure what he did or said to babe to make her so crazy but the way he chased her down to apologize was kind of romantic. I know... Driving like that in a public place is dangerous. What do you think happened afterwards? Do you think they're still together?
Video provided by - phitroaniac
- loveqna
I'm not sure what he did or said to babe to make her so crazy but the way he chased her down to apologize was kind of romantic. I know... Driving like that in a public place is dangerous. What do you think happened afterwards? Do you think they're still together?
Video provided by - phitroaniac
- loveqna
VIDEO - Psycho girlfriend rams boyfriend and his car
It's a shame that some love quarrels have to come to this, but it could've been much worse. When will we stop using violence as a means to solve our issues and disagreements?
Video provided by - psychogffla
- loveqna
Video provided by - psychogffla
- loveqna
VIDEO - Young Russian Husband Appalled by Wife's Past
I've tried to warn you. Beware of players and con-artists.
"This court case from the Russian show "Chas Suda" (Court Hour) illustrates how housing difficulties in Russia play a role in troubled marriages."
Video provided by - GeorgeCrosley
- loveqna
"This court case from the Russian show "Chas Suda" (Court Hour) illustrates how housing difficulties in Russia play a role in troubled marriages."
Video provided by - GeorgeCrosley
- loveqna
VIDEO - Pretty Russian Bride Regrets Internet Courtship
Although this Internet Love Affair turned out all wrong, I still stand by what I say about finding love online. The bottom line is you have to take your time to get to know the person. During the courtship and after you enter into a committed relationship. It doesn't matter if it's online or off. Thanks George.
Video provided by - GeorgeCrosley
- loveqna
Video provided by - GeorgeCrosley
- loveqna
VIDEO - Russian Couple Go to Court over Artificial Insemination
Should the judge grant him his request for divorce? He can't produce children but his wife gets pregnant. wtf??? What do you think the outcome should be?
GeorgeCrosley
- loveqna
GeorgeCrosley
- loveqna
Husband beaten by his first wife in Ranchi
Muhammad Ijaz, who was all set to marry for the seventh time, has been beaten by his first wife and others after the women's panchayat stopped him from getting married.
Video provided by - starnews
- loveqna
Video provided by - starnews
- loveqna
Girl beating boyfriend publicly for cheating on her
Girl beating boyfriend publicly for cheating on her..........she is giving him lift and right..................
Video provided by
loveqna.blogspot.com (back to top)
Video provided by
loveqna.blogspot.com (back to top)
You are welcome to share your opinion,
suggestion, or personal story on Love.QnA. Most articles, interviews,
videos, vlogs, stories, jokes, and documentaries can be found on various
dating sites and YouTube sites here on the Internet. I focus on toxic
relationships and relationship drama in order to turn the negatives of a
relationship into positives. My main goal is to help others find a
compatible partner/team player OR see the positives of being single and
enjoying the single life.
What Men REALLY Want In A Woman
It's automatic for most women to believe that all men want a woman who's Hot and Sexy.
I hear women all the time snapping or complaining that men only want eye-candy, a "trophy wife", or a chick with a phat ass.
While it's true that we appreciate beautiful women with attractive hairstyles, cute smiles, a nice shape, and a sexy booty, those are not the only things men are looking for in a woman. Those are the "basics". We all want someone who is (in our eyes) cute or nice to look at.
But, it's not all about Beauty.
That's not all that men want in a woman.
You could be the finest chick in the World and a man might still might leave you or cheat on you for a mud-duck, a hoodrat, or a skanky broad.
Let me tell you something that most women don't know...
Men use their Instincts or Male Intuition to "read" women just like most women use their Female Intuition to "read" men. Just as your Female Intuition might tell you whether or not a guy is "on your level", or a "player", or a loser, or a "good man", a man uses his Male Intuition to see the same things.
He sees the woman is attractive but he's also looking beyond her beauty. He's looking at the "Total Package"...
"Is she a hoe?"
"Is she arrogant and domineering?"
"Is she a Leader or a follower?"
"Is she shy?"
"Does she have class and style?"
"Is she loud and obnoxious?"
He doesn't want to get involved with a woman who's going to be a headache and a lot of trouble - IF he's thinking of the long-term.
A lot of women don't know it but many men (men who use their "Male Instincts") are looking at that "Total Package" within a matter of seconds!
He sees that you're cute but he wants to know if you possess other qualities that he wants.
Besides his INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCES - which only He could describe - and the Beauty that you possess, let me tell you about some of the other qualities that a man really wants in a woman...
(Many of them might SAY they want a "Best Friend", but they don't act like it do they? That's because those guys really want more from a woman than friendship.)
- She has to have class, style, and grace at appropriate times. She has to radiate a vibe of success in Life.
- Many men appreciate a woman who's witty or at least a woman who knows how to laugh and have a good time. That's always a plus whether you're a man or woman.
- A lot of men appreciate a bold woman who is confident (but NOT ARROGANT or too aggressive). No man likes a pushover. It makes him proud to have a woman who can handle herself and who's not afraid to get things done.
- If a woman shows she appreciates the man's talent and capabilities, he's going to be attracted to her more. You know you have feed a man's ego to keep him interested and happy - even if you've just recently met. Most men are suckers for flattery.
- Also, if she shows that she is a supportive woman who has her man's back, "down" for him, and always on his side no matter the circumstances or situation, this will also make him think twice before looking at another woman.
Why?
Because this shows that the woman cares about him. She cares about his safety and well-being. She'll kick ass for him if she has to.
To him, it shows that he means more to her than the fact that he's just her lover. He knows She believes in him, wants to see him succeed, and is willing to go the extra mile for him. He can trust her. Pour out his heart to her. Reveal his soul to her. There's no doubt in his mind that a woman like this is loyal and faithful. And, I promise you, he'll not only go the extra mile for this broad - He'll open up to her, defend her also, and tell her anything and everything that's on his mind.
A good woman like that will defend him and help him when he's down and can't focus or find direction...
A chick like that is a strong woman who will push her man to make things happen because she won't let him feel sorry for himself. She won't let him believe that he is weak, a failure, or be subject to will of others. She'll make him "see the light" even if she's gotta get him pissed-off at the World to do it.
But, I think we're getting off the subject... This is a rare breed of woman who deserves her own post. And even this type of woman must possess other qualities to keep her man loving and faithful.
So, let's get back on track.
A man wants a woman who isn't judgmental or criticizing. Usually, a criticizing woman like this is just loud, arrogant, bossy, unreasonable, irrational, and nagging. A hater and a gossip who carries bad vibes. A complete turn-off. Only an idiot would take a chance with this kind of woman. And after he does, his life will be ruined.
This is the last one I'm gonna do:
Almost all men appreciate a positive woman - a woman who is doing something for herself and making her mark in life. Many men don't want a woman who is lazy, pessimistic, or one who carries around negative vibes.
But! Be careful!
Be sure to get to know the man before you get in too deep. Don't get brainwashed.
There are some nuts out there who want a woman who is just as negative and just as crazy or trifling as they are. And to those men, this is a "positive" thing.
And that's it.
Now...
What I'm saying here is: Beauty (or cuteness) is important to most men. This is true. We all love eye-candy. We all want it. But, you must be able to reveal other important qualities about yourself as well.
And, believe it or not, MANY men are looking for those Other Important Qualities - especially the "good men"!
A good man will be trying to perceive those qualities in you within the first five or ten seconds of the moment of attraction. Why? Because he appreciates a pretty face but he's not necessarily looking for a beauty queen. He wants a woman of quality and character.
He's not a player. He's not greedy for beauty or sex.
He's not a moocher or con-artist. He's not looking for a woman who has money and a lot of material possessions.
He's not a trick who's looking for a woman to satisfy his fetish.
The World is full of all types of men who want many different things. There isn't a one-type-fits-all kind of woman.
If you stereotype men and think we all one thing in woman or a certain type of woman, you'll keep ending up in bad relationships and keep dealing with drama and break-ups forever and ever.
When you hear people making jokes about "what men want" don't take it seriously!
When people are angry and proclaim that "the only thing men want is sex", don't believe it!
It's sad, but the hard truth is: those poor folks want the type of men that don't want them. They keep getting involved with "wafflers" and players. Or, their lover has lost interest.
Women who wonder what men look for in a woman need to realize that men aren't just looking for a hot chick or sex. Look around. Hot chicks these days come a dime a dozen. Hell, you could turn a plain chick into a hot chick with a little make-up and the right clothes! Look at all these "ugly ducklings" and trifling chicks getting all of these good men and "handsome hunks"...
You have to give the man MORE!
Men are going to look at your beauty AND Style - Your "Sex-Appeal".
Men are going to try to use their INSTINCTS (or intuition) to read your character and personality - to find out if you have what they want.
And, realize that men have individual tastes and preferences and you need to get to know the man (your prospect or love-mate) to find out what HE wants and needs in a woman. He's not the same as everybody else.
So, Beauty will get Attention. Your persona (and style) will keep his Attention. And, when you discover what he wants as an individual, you won't ever lose his Attention.
So, the bottom line is: A man wants a woman who will be able to "turn him on" on all levels - physically, socially, mentally, financially, etc, etc, and so on...
- loveqna
I hear women all the time snapping or complaining that men only want eye-candy, a "trophy wife", or a chick with a phat ass.
While it's true that we appreciate beautiful women with attractive hairstyles, cute smiles, a nice shape, and a sexy booty, those are not the only things men are looking for in a woman. Those are the "basics". We all want someone who is (in our eyes) cute or nice to look at.
But, it's not all about Beauty.
That's not all that men want in a woman.
You could be the finest chick in the World and a man might still might leave you or cheat on you for a mud-duck, a hoodrat, or a skanky broad.
Let me tell you something that most women don't know...
Men use their Instincts or Male Intuition to "read" women just like most women use their Female Intuition to "read" men. Just as your Female Intuition might tell you whether or not a guy is "on your level", or a "player", or a loser, or a "good man", a man uses his Male Intuition to see the same things.
He sees the woman is attractive but he's also looking beyond her beauty. He's looking at the "Total Package"...
"Is she a hoe?"
"Is she arrogant and domineering?"
"Is she a Leader or a follower?"
"Is she shy?"
"Does she have class and style?"
"Is she loud and obnoxious?"
He doesn't want to get involved with a woman who's going to be a headache and a lot of trouble - IF he's thinking of the long-term.
A lot of women don't know it but many men (men who use their "Male Instincts") are looking at that "Total Package" within a matter of seconds!
He sees that you're cute but he wants to know if you possess other qualities that he wants.
Besides his INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCES - which only He could describe - and the Beauty that you possess, let me tell you about some of the other qualities that a man really wants in a woman...
(Many of them might SAY they want a "Best Friend", but they don't act like it do they? That's because those guys really want more from a woman than friendship.)
- She has to have class, style, and grace at appropriate times. She has to radiate a vibe of success in Life.
- Many men appreciate a woman who's witty or at least a woman who knows how to laugh and have a good time. That's always a plus whether you're a man or woman.
- A lot of men appreciate a bold woman who is confident (but NOT ARROGANT or too aggressive). No man likes a pushover. It makes him proud to have a woman who can handle herself and who's not afraid to get things done.
- If a woman shows she appreciates the man's talent and capabilities, he's going to be attracted to her more. You know you have feed a man's ego to keep him interested and happy - even if you've just recently met. Most men are suckers for flattery.
- Also, if she shows that she is a supportive woman who has her man's back, "down" for him, and always on his side no matter the circumstances or situation, this will also make him think twice before looking at another woman.
Why?
Because this shows that the woman cares about him. She cares about his safety and well-being. She'll kick ass for him if she has to.
To him, it shows that he means more to her than the fact that he's just her lover. He knows She believes in him, wants to see him succeed, and is willing to go the extra mile for him. He can trust her. Pour out his heart to her. Reveal his soul to her. There's no doubt in his mind that a woman like this is loyal and faithful. And, I promise you, he'll not only go the extra mile for this broad - He'll open up to her, defend her also, and tell her anything and everything that's on his mind.
A good woman like that will defend him and help him when he's down and can't focus or find direction...
A chick like that is a strong woman who will push her man to make things happen because she won't let him feel sorry for himself. She won't let him believe that he is weak, a failure, or be subject to will of others. She'll make him "see the light" even if she's gotta get him pissed-off at the World to do it.
But, I think we're getting off the subject... This is a rare breed of woman who deserves her own post. And even this type of woman must possess other qualities to keep her man loving and faithful.
So, let's get back on track.
A man wants a woman who isn't judgmental or criticizing. Usually, a criticizing woman like this is just loud, arrogant, bossy, unreasonable, irrational, and nagging. A hater and a gossip who carries bad vibes. A complete turn-off. Only an idiot would take a chance with this kind of woman. And after he does, his life will be ruined.
This is the last one I'm gonna do:
Almost all men appreciate a positive woman - a woman who is doing something for herself and making her mark in life. Many men don't want a woman who is lazy, pessimistic, or one who carries around negative vibes.
But! Be careful!
Be sure to get to know the man before you get in too deep. Don't get brainwashed.
There are some nuts out there who want a woman who is just as negative and just as crazy or trifling as they are. And to those men, this is a "positive" thing.
And that's it.
Now...
What I'm saying here is: Beauty (or cuteness) is important to most men. This is true. We all love eye-candy. We all want it. But, you must be able to reveal other important qualities about yourself as well.
And, believe it or not, MANY men are looking for those Other Important Qualities - especially the "good men"!
A good man will be trying to perceive those qualities in you within the first five or ten seconds of the moment of attraction. Why? Because he appreciates a pretty face but he's not necessarily looking for a beauty queen. He wants a woman of quality and character.
He's not a player. He's not greedy for beauty or sex.
He's not a moocher or con-artist. He's not looking for a woman who has money and a lot of material possessions.
He's not a trick who's looking for a woman to satisfy his fetish.
The World is full of all types of men who want many different things. There isn't a one-type-fits-all kind of woman.
If you stereotype men and think we all one thing in woman or a certain type of woman, you'll keep ending up in bad relationships and keep dealing with drama and break-ups forever and ever.
When you hear people making jokes about "what men want" don't take it seriously!
When people are angry and proclaim that "the only thing men want is sex", don't believe it!
It's sad, but the hard truth is: those poor folks want the type of men that don't want them. They keep getting involved with "wafflers" and players. Or, their lover has lost interest.
Women who wonder what men look for in a woman need to realize that men aren't just looking for a hot chick or sex. Look around. Hot chicks these days come a dime a dozen. Hell, you could turn a plain chick into a hot chick with a little make-up and the right clothes! Look at all these "ugly ducklings" and trifling chicks getting all of these good men and "handsome hunks"...
You have to give the man MORE!
Men are going to look at your beauty AND Style - Your "Sex-Appeal".
Men are going to try to use their INSTINCTS (or intuition) to read your character and personality - to find out if you have what they want.
And, realize that men have individual tastes and preferences and you need to get to know the man (your prospect or love-mate) to find out what HE wants and needs in a woman. He's not the same as everybody else.
So, Beauty will get Attention. Your persona (and style) will keep his Attention. And, when you discover what he wants as an individual, you won't ever lose his Attention.
So, the bottom line is: A man wants a woman who will be able to "turn him on" on all levels - physically, socially, mentally, financially, etc, etc, and so on...
- loveqna
Computer Love - Dating And Finding Love Online
Maybe you haven't found the love of your life because you don't know where to look or because you keep meeting poor prospects when you DO go to the places where all the good prospects are. That happens. Accept it.
The bums and bad apples are always gonna go where the action is so, you're always gonna have a mix of good, bad, and sorry-asses no matter where you go. You're always gonna have to sift through the lot of profiles to find someone you think may be compatible to you and worth getting to know better. It doesn't matter if you meet prospects through friends or if you meet prospects online.
It's like trimming the fat off of meat or separating good fruits and vegetables from bruised and damaged fruits and vegetables. You keep the good stuff and leave the bad stuff out. That's just how it is.
Have you ever thought about finding love online?
I know it can be scary. I know some people would be embarrassed to do it.
There are a lot of people that look down on those who look for love online. They think it's weird, pitiful, stupid, and dangerous.
I agree that it can be dangerous. But hell, meeting people offline is dangerous also.
Either way, you have to take your time and get to know the person you're talking to and take the necessary safety precautions.
And even after you get to know this person, you STILL have to continue to use your instincts and be careful because he or she could be living a double-life or playing you for a fool. There are some nuts out there. And liars. Online and Offline. So, you've got be cautious. Use your instincts. Watch closely and listen carefully.
A few years ago (before I met my last girlfriend), I met a few chicks online. I was a little bit wary in the beginning, because I didn't go through a dating service. I met them in chatrooms and I was new to the chatting experience.
I only met two of those girls in person. I could feel that some of the others were playing games. Some of them were liars. Some weren't girls at all. And, some were just as wary of me as I was of them.
One of the girls I met was a dingbat and wild as hell. I could tell right away she was a hoochie and only online looking for sex. I only talked to her for a few minutes in a convenience store parking lot.
The other chick was a slob. But, I should've known that by looking at her room in the background while we chatted.
We met at a restaurant then at a nightclub. She was thick and cute, but her and her girlfriend were flirts who loved to get drunk and party all the time. And, she had a little boy. And, after we talked on the phone a couple of times, I found out she was having baby-daddy drama. She was cute but I wasn't even about to get involved in that mess.
But, I know people who have been more fortunate.
Some people I've worked with at past jobs have met their sweethearts online and have gotten married. I know police officers who've dated women online. I know people who have traveled hundreds of miles to stay the weekend with their online lovers. I have a cousin who regularly meets, dates, and hangout with women he meets online. He lives in D.C.
He has even taken these women to his Mama's house! And, other relatives' houses. He's brought them over to the house where I used to live.
My Ex's daughter and her friends used to meet guys on Facebook and MocoSpace and hang-out with them.
I have another cousin who goes on dates with chicks he meets on Facebook as well. He also uses the phone chat lines.
I also see some of my former schoolmates (guys and girls) with dating profiles online. And, some of them are good men and women. Most of them have good jobs. A couple of them have their own business. They're good quality prospects. I went to school with these people. I've been to some of these people's houses. I've socialized with these people and know they wouldn't harm a flea. They're just looking for real love like everyone else.
And, these online dating services seem to be working out for many people as well. Eharmony says a lot of their "matches" end up getting married after dating each other for a while. And, there are other online dating sites that proclaim such success as well. Hell, I can't turn on the TV nowdays without hearing or seeing an ad for an online matchmaking dating service. I've probably seen "Christian Singles" two or three times today. So, this form of looking for love online MUST be working out for a lot of people.
Someday, it's probably going to be as common as shopping for a new suit or a new outfit. Those dating sites and agencies will be everywhere - online and offline.
The only online matchmaking services I REALLY worry about are those that "sell" mail-order brides. You really have to be careful on both ends with that type of service. You have brides that are scammers and con-artists and you have potential husbands that are domestic abusers. Or, they might lose interest. And, it could be reversed. Maybe the man is a scammer and the woman is an abuser. I don't know but anything's possible.
You have men out here who live thousands of miles away marrying women then harassing the hell out of the woman for her dowry. Some of those guys are con-artists with other wives they've scammed out of a dowry.
You have women that marry men so that they can get out of their country, then the woman runs away.
It happens.
 |
| Stop wasting time. Get out and meet people. |
Any of this stuff (all of it) - this online love - you HAVE TO BE CAREFUL with, because it's like everything else in Life. It's all a risk. It's just like eating food: You don't know if it's good until you eat it, digest it, and live to tell about it later.
I fell in love with a girl online once.
She was a Filipina.
At the time I wasn't looking for anyone online. I was looking for business opportunities when my messenger rang.
I didn't even know I was connected, but I responded. And, we just started chatting.
She asked me why my status was "single but not looking" Then I told her about my recent break-up. The drama. And, how boring things had gotten.
She told me about her past relationship and how her Ex was leading her on and never intended to marry her. Then we began talking about relationship drama and sharing stories about our lives and our families. We talked about books, movies, news, interests, everything. We opened up to each other really fast.
Soon after that, we were calling each other on the phone.......
Okay, I don't wanna think about this anymore.
--------------------------------------
If you decide to pursue an online relationship make sure you're ready for it emotionally and mentally.
Don't waste your time with it if you aren't going to (or can't) take it to the next level of physical contact and interaction.
If you're only going to be friends, you really don't ever have to meet. But, if you fall in love, you'll want to feel that person close to you. And, he or she will want the same.
Oh, let me warn you about this...
One thing I ALWAYS keep in mind: Make sure the prospect you're talking to is a person who is old enough to legally date you. I swear I think the cops were trying to set me up to talk to some kid in a chatroom. There were a few of us joking around in there, then one of the chatters started getting flirty and asking me where I lived and all that.
And like I said before, in the beginning I was always wary of people so I immediately said "I don't give out my personal info on the Net". But, this person was asking me about music and my age and if I were single. I didn't know about setting up my profile so it was blank. But, when I looked at hers, she was 14. I put her ass on "ignore". I didn't think about it being a "dangerous" situation. I just ignored her because what reason would I have to talk to a girl that young? And, it probably was the cops. So, make sure you're meeting guys and girls who are legally able to date you.
And these are just a few reminders:
Don't go online looking for love if you're lonely and desperate because you could fall prey to mind games and trickery from con-artists, players, manipulators, and bad people in general.
Don't go online looking for love unless you're prepared to be open and honest about what you want and need from a lover. And, make sure they're honest. Don't let him or her lead you on.
Don't pursue love with someone online if you and that person has different relationship goals. Some people are looking for sex, some for marriage, some for a friend to hang-out with (or so they say).
Don't expect much out of a man or woman with thousands of friends on a social network. Especially if that person is up there everyday. That's all some people care about - collecting "friends". They don't have time to talk to all of those people. What makes you think he or she has time to talk to you? YouTube is different because a lot of those people actually WANT to help others - with products or advice. And a lot of them DO respond to individual requests and messages. But STILL... They are busy as well or possibly already taken. Or, not interested in a relationship.
Depending on how far your love-interest lives from you, take into consideration how often you will get to see him or her. And, can he or she handle the distance as well.
Consider that you might have to travel by plane to see your online love interest. So think about saving and stacking some money.
There may come to a point where you think you've found your SoulMate and want to settle down. This may require a better job and money as well.
Well, there are all kinds of variables and things that could and will happen and things that you should be wary of.
The best thing is too research and use your good instincts so that you don't get played, used, and abused.
A lot of these online (Cyberspace) relationships don't work out - just like in "real life" (or Beta-space). Don't let it depress you, frustrate you, or deter you from using all venues - online and offline - to find the love of your life.
Don't worry about what other people think about you looking for love online - especially if they're single and don't have anyone to love. Nine times out of ten, the one who doubts is at home wacking-off because he or she doesn't have a partner to kiss and cuddle-up with.
It's a shame and a scandal some people have to live like that. Hypocrites.
Let me tell you this: I was in an online relationship and it could've turned into something special if I had been a little smarter and bolder. I regret a lot of things, but losing that girl is in my top 5 things I hate I ever did in my life.
Don't rush but don't ignore your options either.
What you're looking for is out there. You've just gotta keep "clicking" away.
And, whether you find it online or offline, the best of luck to ya'.
- loveqna
Don't Give Up Your Dreams Due To Love
When I received my first text from that "gangsta chick", Slim, my future flashed before my eyes.
I was uplifted.
I had high hopes.
I thought for sure I had received a blessing from God. I thought I had been blessed with a Queen. The girl of my dreams.
She was everything I wanted.
I like fiery strong-willed women. I like bold women. I like women who are confident and smart - business-minded. I like women who are go-getters - Divas.
I thought she was all of that.
And, every time I thought of her, I could see the both of us rising to the Top and living a good life. A Grand Life.
But, this chick is nothing more than a loud-mouth "show-girl". She's got all of the features and game but she wants to be "player" instead of a "True Player".
She can't see the Big Picture.
She'd rather yap all day on her cellphone about her problems instead of doing something about them.
She'd rather use men for chump-change and favors instead of creating major opportunities for herself.
She uses her game to play games.
I don't need a woman like that in my life.
I HAVE the MasterPlan. I just need someone to help me develop it and sell it.
Sure, there are other chicks out there that are "qualified" but I want someone like this - for Business as well as Love. And, I could love a chick like this. I'm not ashamed to say it. She's like a dream come true.
But, her Mind ain't right.
She's full of B.S. - that's why it won't work. And, I'm not an "all-day sucker". I'll wait or look for another similar type of chick before I let her play with my mind and drain my bank account dry. To Hell with that.
And, you should follow suit.
Don't give in to a wannabee player who only wants to play games with his or her life and your's.
Don't waste your time crying over a bum who doesn't want to improve his or her life or your relationship. That's what life is about: Growing, Expanding, Improving, Moving Forward.
Don't let a slob or a scrub bring you down and ruin your potential for Happiness.
Don't let a bum bring you down and make your life hard and miserable.
If you can "milk" that rascal or scallywag and save for bigger and better things, do it! Milk him! Milk her! You're doing for your future! You're doing it for the both of you. You're doing it so that you can both live a good life. Or, a better life.
If he or she has dreams, offer your help and/or advice.
Show him or her that you are willing to help anyway you can to build your future together.
And, if he or she doesn't want to cooperate, do it for yourself and your family.
Go to school. Save your money. Get a job. Start a business. Learn a trade. Find a better partner (if possible). Use your game.
And, move on and accomplish your dreams without the scumbucket.
- loveqna
I was uplifted.
I had high hopes.
I thought for sure I had received a blessing from God. I thought I had been blessed with a Queen. The girl of my dreams.
She was everything I wanted.
I like fiery strong-willed women. I like bold women. I like women who are confident and smart - business-minded. I like women who are go-getters - Divas.
I thought she was all of that.
And, every time I thought of her, I could see the both of us rising to the Top and living a good life. A Grand Life.
But, this chick is nothing more than a loud-mouth "show-girl". She's got all of the features and game but she wants to be "player" instead of a "True Player".
She can't see the Big Picture.
She'd rather yap all day on her cellphone about her problems instead of doing something about them.
She'd rather use men for chump-change and favors instead of creating major opportunities for herself.
She uses her game to play games.
I don't need a woman like that in my life.
I HAVE the MasterPlan. I just need someone to help me develop it and sell it.
Sure, there are other chicks out there that are "qualified" but I want someone like this - for Business as well as Love. And, I could love a chick like this. I'm not ashamed to say it. She's like a dream come true.
But, her Mind ain't right.
She's full of B.S. - that's why it won't work. And, I'm not an "all-day sucker". I'll wait or look for another similar type of chick before I let her play with my mind and drain my bank account dry. To Hell with that.
And, you should follow suit.
Don't give in to a wannabee player who only wants to play games with his or her life and your's.
Don't waste your time crying over a bum who doesn't want to improve his or her life or your relationship. That's what life is about: Growing, Expanding, Improving, Moving Forward.
Don't let a slob or a scrub bring you down and ruin your potential for Happiness.
Don't let a bum bring you down and make your life hard and miserable.
If you can "milk" that rascal or scallywag and save for bigger and better things, do it! Milk him! Milk her! You're doing for your future! You're doing it for the both of you. You're doing it so that you can both live a good life. Or, a better life.
If he or she has dreams, offer your help and/or advice.
Show him or her that you are willing to help anyway you can to build your future together.
And, if he or she doesn't want to cooperate, do it for yourself and your family.
Go to school. Save your money. Get a job. Start a business. Learn a trade. Find a better partner (if possible). Use your game.
And, move on and accomplish your dreams without the scumbucket.
- loveqna
What It's Like To Date A Female Player - 4
I don't have much to say about my involvement with Slim. I really wanted a "ride or die" type of chick in my corner but it's pretty much over. After she cussed me out for calling her a "moocher" (basically), we haven't texted or talked on the phone.
We were talking again after a day or two had passed. And, she has approached me to bum for a cigarette on the third day, but other than that, we really haven't had a conversation.
I know she wants to talk to me because she always greets me and makes it her business to say "hello" even when she has a line of customers or whatever. But, why waste my time? If I tried to win her favor now, she wouldn't respect me. I know she wouldn't. She has too many guys chasing her as it is. If I chased her also, I'd be lumped in with the rest of those poor suckers.
Nahh, I'll keep my distance.
In fact, I know she will pursue me again. But, the next time, she will come with more game. She will TRY to play with my mind, lead me on, and tease me. I'll give it a couple of weeks. That's when she'll get enough nerve to call or flirt with me again.
Please, don't take this as arrogance. I'm only telling you what I BELIEVE may happen based on experience and instinct. I may be wrong because all people aren't the same. It's possible that she may never approach me again. So, romantically, it may be over between us. We'll see.
But, I know she misses talking to me because she can tell me anything. And, I don't judge her, tell her secrets, or repeat what she says to other people.
I could be her "knight in shining armor" and she could be "the girl of my dreams" but her dumbass is too damn dumb to realize it.
Oh well... Ain't no use in daydreaming and crying over something that is probably never meant to be.
I've also been talking to that "other chick" on a regular basis. I'll now refer to her as M&M (muse and mentor). Nahh, I'll call her "Cleopatra" just in case some of your web browsers aren't reading the ampersand symbol.
Cleopatra been going through a little bit of drama lately with her Ex and has been asking for my advice and opinions a lot lately.
Honestly, I don't like to give my opinions "off the cuff" or "on the spot" because I'm often impulsive and irrational. I don't think quick on my feet. So, I may say things I don't mean. Or, say something I shouldn't say (something harmful). Or, say something "crazy". It may be bad advice or a dumb opinion. My mind moves a million miles a minute.
Anyway, I try to take my time when I talk to her and it's been working out swell for the both of us. So, she's been wanting to talk and chill with me a lot lately.
I think she's using game and trying to "reel me in" but I'm not sure. I think she's either unsure about whether she wants to talk to me or unsure about whether or not I would be interested in dating her. I'm interested - but for how long???
Today, she invited me to hang-out with her and another co-worker for drinks at a local bar. I didn't really respond because I really don't like bars. I don't like to drink and sit and sit and drink. I'm an Aries. I'm active. If I drink, I wanna dance, grind, and have fun.
Anyway...
If I got involved with this chick, I really don't think I could ever leave her even if I wanted to. I wouldn't want to see her hurt by anyone - especially me. She's just too nice of a person.
And, the worst part about all of this is: If I did date M&M, I would make sure that Slim knew about it so that she would be angry and jealous.
I know it's disgusting and a terrible thing to do, but it's hard for me to get Slim out of my head. Well, it's hard for me to get Cleopatra out of my head too.
Every time I see her, I'm looking at her features or her lips or her smile or her booty. I like her personality. I don't have to search any deeper. But, I want to be turned on too. I want to look her and say to myself "damn, look at that ass" or "damn, she's got it going on" and right now, all I see is: "she's attractive". But, Where's the "pop"???
Where's the sex-appeal?
Where's that "Boo-Yowww!"?
Now, don't get me wrong, she's got a nice ass - and boobs - but, she's not "workin' it". There's just no excitement.
Now, one day, she stopped by the store to shop and she was looking foxy as hell...
She was dressed in athletic wear but at the same time "rockin' it" "relaxed and casual" in all white and she looked like a million bucks. I was definitely turned on by her that day. I would've kissed that girl from the soles of her feet to every strand of hair on head that day.
But, she doesn't move me like that every time I see her. Even though she dresses nice and neat, it's just not "interesting".
But, it's more than just how a woman (or a man) dresses. It's the walk. The style. The body language. Etc. Some people have sex-appeal and some people don't - No matter how good you look or attractive you are. If you don't have that "IT" factor or "star power", then you're more likely to be passed over for some less attractive looking person who DOES have sex-appeal or the "IT" factor.
***DON'T ASK ME HOW I GOT ON THIS CRAP***
Okay, back to the original ORIGINAL subject: "What It's Like To Date A Female Player"...
The REAL FEMALE PLAYER might be Cleopatra. She may be my true queen, but only time will tell. I'm gonna holla at her and see if she has the time to be involved in a partnership with me. If she makes the time, I know she's down for me. If she doesn't, well... I don't know. We'll see.
- loveqna
This will be a short note - hopefully.
We were talking again after a day or two had passed. And, she has approached me to bum for a cigarette on the third day, but other than that, we really haven't had a conversation.
I know she wants to talk to me because she always greets me and makes it her business to say "hello" even when she has a line of customers or whatever. But, why waste my time? If I tried to win her favor now, she wouldn't respect me. I know she wouldn't. She has too many guys chasing her as it is. If I chased her also, I'd be lumped in with the rest of those poor suckers.
Nahh, I'll keep my distance.
In fact, I know she will pursue me again. But, the next time, she will come with more game. She will TRY to play with my mind, lead me on, and tease me. I'll give it a couple of weeks. That's when she'll get enough nerve to call or flirt with me again.
Please, don't take this as arrogance. I'm only telling you what I BELIEVE may happen based on experience and instinct. I may be wrong because all people aren't the same. It's possible that she may never approach me again. So, romantically, it may be over between us. We'll see.
But, I know she misses talking to me because she can tell me anything. And, I don't judge her, tell her secrets, or repeat what she says to other people.
I could be her "knight in shining armor" and she could be "the girl of my dreams" but her dumbass is too damn dumb to realize it.
Oh well... Ain't no use in daydreaming and crying over something that is probably never meant to be.
I've also been talking to that "other chick" on a regular basis. I'll now refer to her as M&M (muse and mentor). Nahh, I'll call her "Cleopatra" just in case some of your web browsers aren't reading the ampersand symbol.
Cleopatra been going through a little bit of drama lately with her Ex and has been asking for my advice and opinions a lot lately.
Honestly, I don't like to give my opinions "off the cuff" or "on the spot" because I'm often impulsive and irrational. I don't think quick on my feet. So, I may say things I don't mean. Or, say something I shouldn't say (something harmful). Or, say something "crazy". It may be bad advice or a dumb opinion. My mind moves a million miles a minute.
Anyway, I try to take my time when I talk to her and it's been working out swell for the both of us. So, she's been wanting to talk and chill with me a lot lately.
I think she's using game and trying to "reel me in" but I'm not sure. I think she's either unsure about whether she wants to talk to me or unsure about whether or not I would be interested in dating her. I'm interested - but for how long???
Today, she invited me to hang-out with her and another co-worker for drinks at a local bar. I didn't really respond because I really don't like bars. I don't like to drink and sit and sit and drink. I'm an Aries. I'm active. If I drink, I wanna dance, grind, and have fun.
Anyway...
If I got involved with this chick, I really don't think I could ever leave her even if I wanted to. I wouldn't want to see her hurt by anyone - especially me. She's just too nice of a person.
And, the worst part about all of this is: If I did date M&M, I would make sure that Slim knew about it so that she would be angry and jealous.
I know it's disgusting and a terrible thing to do, but it's hard for me to get Slim out of my head. Well, it's hard for me to get Cleopatra out of my head too.
Every time I see her, I'm looking at her features or her lips or her smile or her booty. I like her personality. I don't have to search any deeper. But, I want to be turned on too. I want to look her and say to myself "damn, look at that ass" or "damn, she's got it going on" and right now, all I see is: "she's attractive". But, Where's the "pop"???
Where's the sex-appeal?
Where's that "Boo-Yowww!"?
Now, don't get me wrong, she's got a nice ass - and boobs - but, she's not "workin' it". There's just no excitement.
Now, one day, she stopped by the store to shop and she was looking foxy as hell...
She was dressed in athletic wear but at the same time "rockin' it" "relaxed and casual" in all white and she looked like a million bucks. I was definitely turned on by her that day. I would've kissed that girl from the soles of her feet to every strand of hair on head that day.
But, she doesn't move me like that every time I see her. Even though she dresses nice and neat, it's just not "interesting".
But, it's more than just how a woman (or a man) dresses. It's the walk. The style. The body language. Etc. Some people have sex-appeal and some people don't - No matter how good you look or attractive you are. If you don't have that "IT" factor or "star power", then you're more likely to be passed over for some less attractive looking person who DOES have sex-appeal or the "IT" factor.
***DON'T ASK ME HOW I GOT ON THIS CRAP***
Okay, back to the original ORIGINAL subject: "What It's Like To Date A Female Player"...
The REAL FEMALE PLAYER might be Cleopatra. She may be my true queen, but only time will tell. I'm gonna holla at her and see if she has the time to be involved in a partnership with me. If she makes the time, I know she's down for me. If she doesn't, well... I don't know. We'll see.
- loveqna
This will be a short note - hopefully.
Where Did I Go Wrong?
I have to apologize to you.
This blog was not supposed to be about my life and adventures but more about helping you get out of a bad relationship, find love, and improve your romantic instincts.
I wanted to include a few laughs here and there for entertainment and even shock you a bit.
But, somewhere along the road I got sidetracked.
I don't want to point any fingers or blame my job or blame my "condition" for the poor writing because I could've done better. I could be doing better now.
I'm just lazy as hell and I don't like to review what I post before I post it.
I have a lot of ideas for what I want to do with this blog but all I do is think about the things in my head. I don't implement. Those ideas just swirl around and around and around, not doing me or anyone else any good. If only you could peek into my brain you'd see what I mean.
I'm probably crazy.
I could never run out of things to do - or try.
Maybe I'm scatterbrained. ???
I'm gonna try and get focused.
The main thing I have to keep in mind is that this blog ain't about Me. It's about You.
Even if you're not looking for Love or trying to deal with drama in a relationship, I want to help you improve your Instincts and Intuition so that you could help some other poor soul that may be in desperate need of suggestions, advice, or your opinion. You never know, you may save a life - or two.
Anyway, I'm gonna review my notes on writing and re-do some of this crap writing I've published. If I have to take a class or something, I might even do that. But, I'll tell you right now, I hate school. So, it may take a long time before we see any improvement.
My other goal will be trying to quit this job. As much as I'm proud to be a part of this company and as much as I like my co-workers and seeing all of those fine women and learning new things, I don't think working there will help me fulfill my dreams. And it's definitely not doing a lot for me right now. In fact, it's ruining my writing career. AHH, but I'm not blaming anyone or anything. It's me. I have to step-up my game.
Okay, that's enough. I'm not gonna ramble.
I'm gonna read. I'm gonna study. I'm gonna practice. I'm gonna review my notes. And, I'm gonna hustle.
This blog WILL be better.
- loveqna
This blog was not supposed to be about my life and adventures but more about helping you get out of a bad relationship, find love, and improve your romantic instincts.
I wanted to include a few laughs here and there for entertainment and even shock you a bit.
But, somewhere along the road I got sidetracked.
I don't want to point any fingers or blame my job or blame my "condition" for the poor writing because I could've done better. I could be doing better now.
I'm just lazy as hell and I don't like to review what I post before I post it.
I have a lot of ideas for what I want to do with this blog but all I do is think about the things in my head. I don't implement. Those ideas just swirl around and around and around, not doing me or anyone else any good. If only you could peek into my brain you'd see what I mean.
I'm probably crazy.
I could never run out of things to do - or try.
Maybe I'm scatterbrained. ???
I'm gonna try and get focused.
The main thing I have to keep in mind is that this blog ain't about Me. It's about You.
Even if you're not looking for Love or trying to deal with drama in a relationship, I want to help you improve your Instincts and Intuition so that you could help some other poor soul that may be in desperate need of suggestions, advice, or your opinion. You never know, you may save a life - or two.
Anyway, I'm gonna review my notes on writing and re-do some of this crap writing I've published. If I have to take a class or something, I might even do that. But, I'll tell you right now, I hate school. So, it may take a long time before we see any improvement.
My other goal will be trying to quit this job. As much as I'm proud to be a part of this company and as much as I like my co-workers and seeing all of those fine women and learning new things, I don't think working there will help me fulfill my dreams. And it's definitely not doing a lot for me right now. In fact, it's ruining my writing career. AHH, but I'm not blaming anyone or anything. It's me. I have to step-up my game.
Okay, that's enough. I'm not gonna ramble.
I'm gonna read. I'm gonna study. I'm gonna practice. I'm gonna review my notes. And, I'm gonna hustle.
This blog WILL be better.
- loveqna
I Need Some Answers
Guys, beware of chicks like this!
This girl is bad.
I wouldn't want to tangle with her - unless it was romantically - even then, I'd be a little bit nervous.
Video provided by - Hett210
- loveqna
This girl is bad.
I wouldn't want to tangle with her - unless it was romantically - even then, I'd be a little bit nervous.
Video provided by - Hett210
- loveqna
To Those Who Try To Buy Love (or Pay For Sex)
How Tricks Have Ruined The Game Of Love
I know when you're courting a prospect, you may have to spend a little cash on dates and going out to the movies and that sort of thing. And, you'll also have to put in personal time and attention to show you're interested. But, don't overdo it.
If you have to BUY a prospects love and/or attention, you don't need the bum. Wait or find someone else.
Don't let a prospect work you like a dog in order for you to win his or her interest or affections. Be strong and avoid being used, abused, and played for a sucker. Realize your true worth. Realize what real LONG-TERM VALUE you bring to the table.
Don't let that prospect turn you into a "trick" and have you jumping through hoops to prove your interest and admiration. And, to be honest, in long run, he or she will never respect you for it. He or she won't respect you for waiting on him or her hand and foot. He or she won't respect you for being an ass-kisser or a doormat. He or she will never respect you if you are not confident and strong enough to stand up for yourself and say "No" sometimes.
Don't follow him or her around like some poor little lap-dog and beg for his or her attention. Be a "real man" or a "real woman" and show that you're in control of your Destiny and your life and that you don't need anyone to make you feel good about yourself or to bring you complete happiness.
Don't let that prospect control your mind or rule your world. If you get him or her - if he or she chooses to be with you, fine. If not, YOU need to move on. Don't waste your time, energy, and hard-earned money trying to BUY Love. It won't work. Either they're gonna love you for who you are or they aren't. Don't wait for the person to "come around" and "see the light". Or, see what a good man or woman you really are. It may take a very long time. Holla at some other prospects. Put your bid in elsewhere. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket and hope to win this person's love if they're playing too too hard to get. Move on.
Some of those people are nothing more than con-artists anyway.
There are many tests in Life. Some are important. Some are B.S. and a waste of time and effort - and money. And, the test to see how far you're willing to go to win someone's attention is one those B.S. tests.
There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't let an asshole make a fool of you by turning you into a "trick" for his or her entertainment or interest.
Now, with that being said, let's dig deeper and clarify what a "trick" is in layman terms...
First, a "trick" is commonly known in the Sex Industry as a man (John) or woman (Jane) who pays for sex.
In The Game Of Love/ Game Of Romance, a trick is a man or woman who spends a lot of his or her money on a prospect (or love-interest) in hopes gaining love, "friendship", affection, or sex. That trick will try almost anything and do whatever he or she has to do to entice the prospect and try to win his or her heart.
Trickin' is as old as prostitution. Probably older. I'm sure of it.
I can imagine how it was thousands or millions of years ago...
The first cavewoman that came up with the brilliant idea of having those wild cavemen trick for her had to see beforehand that there were lonely tricks willing to trade furs, Crocosaurus meat, yams, and fish for her attention, intimacy, and affection.
She had to see that there was an opportunity to live good off of at least one or two of those localjokers. She could have one of them getting her food, another building her hut or digging her a cave, and another for pleasure. She HAD to see their tricks afoot. If she didn't recognize the opportunity, why did she go into business for herself? She had to see that those tricks were willing "pay" in order to play.
There were probably so many poor lonely slobs running around that stone age community building huts and digging out caves to satisfy those luscious cavewomen and their little cave-kids, that marriage was the next logical step in Evolution. I'm sure of it. Then came the "mutual agreement". Those tricks had to keep other tricks from stealing the women they loved and the cavewomen had to keep other vixens from stealing their tricks, "benefits", and favors. So, a few of those tricks and cavewomen got together one day and promised to be faithful to each other and thus, the invention of Marriage.
Well, it could've happened like that. Whaddaya think? Do you think that's how Marriage was invented? I bet it was.
And, I bet some of those cavewomen and tricks didn't want to get married - just like a lot cavewomen and tricks today don't want to get married.
Some of these women today realize how much power they have over these poor losers. The power to manipulate and to control.
Some of these prospects today are really players and hoes with 3, 4, or 5 tricks in their stable!
Those poor dumb tricks don't know they're being played for fools. Each one thinks he or she is in an exclusive relationship. But, they're being cheated and played out by these sirens...
Aha, but men aren't the only one's trickin'. We know there are many females out here trickin' too. They'll do all kinds of favors and spend money and buy gifts in order to keep from losing their prospects too. They want to keep him (or her) interested and hanging around also.
All of these tricks are driving the costs of courtship up to unsightly proportions!
These prospects and players see that these tricks out here are willing to do almost anything for their love, "friendship", or attention and they make these tricks pay royally.
Tricks have ruined the game of love with all of their begging and overly generous ways.
The trick will "loan" a lot of his or her money to the prospect.
The trick will pay some or all of the prospects bills to keep the prospect hanging around.
The trick will perform all kinds of special favors for the prospect like
running errands,
fixing his or her car,
exterminating mice and ants,
doing home repairs for the prospect,
taking the prospect (and the prospect's family) out to eat,
helping the prospect move from one house or apartment to another,
surprising the prospect with gifts and trinkets,
etc, etc, etc.
A lot of tricks will do this stuff on their own without any encouragement from the prospect. And, the reason why tricks do this is because they are afraid of losing the prospect to someone else. They also do this to try to keep the prospect from losing interest. Sometimes tricks do these things because they're afraid of being rejected.
But, when the money runs out or the tricks stop spending or stop doing favors, the prospect is gone. Then, it's up to someone like you or me to fill that void. They expect US to pay and compensate them for their time and affections. But, this is what I say: Either you like me for me or you don't. And, if you don't, you're ass can keep moving. I don't give a sh*t if you talk to me or not.
The problem is: A lot of tricks out here have no confidence in themselves. They don't believe a man or woman could like them for who they are. So, they try very very very hard to establish a relationship quickly.
They try to rush through the courtship before the guy or girl gets away.
These tricks out here are doing WAY too much for a hook-up.
And worst of it is: the world is full of more tricks than you can shake a stick at.
There are a lot of tricks out here trying to buy love and/or a relationship and driving the price of romance through the roof!
Trickin' has become a booming business for some of these True Players and hoes out here. They're getting all kinds of freebies, favors, perks, and benefits. No wonder so many women out here are "High Maintenance" and delusional about their role in a relationship.
Trickin' is definitely big business for the retail and moving industry! I'm in retail so you know I'm thankful to those tricks out there who give their support.
But, as I've said, some of those tricks out there do WAY too much...
There are tricks out there selling their souls to the Devil just to have a nice warm cuddly babe on their side. It's sad and pitiful...
There ain't no telling how many tricks there are out there giving all they can give for "friendship". Ain't no telling how many tricks there are out there that are giving excessively to win someone's love. But let me tell you the difference between the two and how each one has hurt the game of Love.
I hate to do it, but I've got to expose these tricks right now and put those poor lost souls and suckers back on the good path. Well, some tricks you can't convert. But, if you've recently started trickin' or HAVE been trickin' and didn't know it, this might open your eyes.
There are actually THREE types of tricks - maybe more if you want to get into details but three basic ones.
The first trick is a sucker. He or she probably has low self-esteem. He or she may be shy and lack confidence. This trick believes he or she HAS to give money and gifts to keep the prospect satisfied and interested. He or she knows no other way of courting a prospect.
The second trick is manipulator. Sometimes (maybe often) a player or a hoe. This trick knows what his prospects like and what motivates them and uses it to get what he/she wants from them. These types of tricks give in order to receive. Usually, they trade money and/or gifts for intimacy.
The third trick is a benefactor. This trick is usually lonely and wants to help his prospects in anyway he or she can - with money, shelter, transportation, advice, food, or whatever he (or she) can give. This trick is also known as "Captain Save-A-Hoe".
***NOTE***
Not all tricks have low confidence or low self-esteem. There are confident tricks out there with plenty of money who spend royally and shower prospects with gifts and trinkets. These tricks do this out of pride. Pride for their Success. Pride for what they have, what they've accomplished, and what they are able to do - which is spend Big Money. This is what gives them the most pleasure out of life. These types of tricks usually are cheaters and benefactors to other prospects.
So, trickin' goes on all the time. Sometimes, there is trickin' going on in an established relationship when one partner is desperately trying to hold on to the other partner or trying to buy his or her love.
If you use your "third-eye" you can see it. Trickin' is everywhere.
I know in some cultures and countries that some brides and grooms are required to pay a dowry. But, that dowry should be for the sake of the relationship. It should be a "safety net" in case of emergencies or hard times. It should be used to build the union between the couple so that they can grow and expand their "empire". It should be for the BOTH OF THEM. And, if one gives a dowry, the other should be smart enough to help manage it and not waste it. One shouldn't have to pay for Love.
Tell those tricks to cut it out - or, at least, slow down. They're gonna drive us all into the poor house. Tell them "they can't buy Love". Tell them they won't win their lover's heart or respect by being a doormat or a lap-dog. Kissing their prospect's ass won't work.
Trickin' can get you sex - sometimes. But, it will never buy you True Love.
I can't lie. I've done some trickin' myself. But, I'm a changed man. I don't mind giving. But, ain't no way I'm gonna give all I've got - especially to a prospect or a hoe.
And, if you've been trickin', don't be ashamed - step up your game.
Give a little. Save a lot. And beware of players and tricks. They might try to con you out of everything you've got.
- loveqna
I know when you're courting a prospect, you may have to spend a little cash on dates and going out to the movies and that sort of thing. And, you'll also have to put in personal time and attention to show you're interested. But, don't overdo it.
If you have to BUY a prospects love and/or attention, you don't need the bum. Wait or find someone else.
Don't let a prospect work you like a dog in order for you to win his or her interest or affections. Be strong and avoid being used, abused, and played for a sucker. Realize your true worth. Realize what real LONG-TERM VALUE you bring to the table.
Don't let that prospect turn you into a "trick" and have you jumping through hoops to prove your interest and admiration. And, to be honest, in long run, he or she will never respect you for it. He or she won't respect you for waiting on him or her hand and foot. He or she won't respect you for being an ass-kisser or a doormat. He or she will never respect you if you are not confident and strong enough to stand up for yourself and say "No" sometimes.
Don't follow him or her around like some poor little lap-dog and beg for his or her attention. Be a "real man" or a "real woman" and show that you're in control of your Destiny and your life and that you don't need anyone to make you feel good about yourself or to bring you complete happiness.
Don't let that prospect control your mind or rule your world. If you get him or her - if he or she chooses to be with you, fine. If not, YOU need to move on. Don't waste your time, energy, and hard-earned money trying to BUY Love. It won't work. Either they're gonna love you for who you are or they aren't. Don't wait for the person to "come around" and "see the light". Or, see what a good man or woman you really are. It may take a very long time. Holla at some other prospects. Put your bid in elsewhere. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket and hope to win this person's love if they're playing too too hard to get. Move on.
Some of those people are nothing more than con-artists anyway.
There are many tests in Life. Some are important. Some are B.S. and a waste of time and effort - and money. And, the test to see how far you're willing to go to win someone's attention is one those B.S. tests.
There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't let an asshole make a fool of you by turning you into a "trick" for his or her entertainment or interest.
Now, with that being said, let's dig deeper and clarify what a "trick" is in layman terms...
First, a "trick" is commonly known in the Sex Industry as a man (John) or woman (Jane) who pays for sex.
In The Game Of Love/ Game Of Romance, a trick is a man or woman who spends a lot of his or her money on a prospect (or love-interest) in hopes gaining love, "friendship", affection, or sex. That trick will try almost anything and do whatever he or she has to do to entice the prospect and try to win his or her heart.
Trickin' is as old as prostitution. Probably older. I'm sure of it.
I can imagine how it was thousands or millions of years ago...
The first cavewoman that came up with the brilliant idea of having those wild cavemen trick for her had to see beforehand that there were lonely tricks willing to trade furs, Crocosaurus meat, yams, and fish for her attention, intimacy, and affection.
She had to see that there was an opportunity to live good off of at least one or two of those localjokers. She could have one of them getting her food, another building her hut or digging her a cave, and another for pleasure. She HAD to see their tricks afoot. If she didn't recognize the opportunity, why did she go into business for herself? She had to see that those tricks were willing "pay" in order to play.
There were probably so many poor lonely slobs running around that stone age community building huts and digging out caves to satisfy those luscious cavewomen and their little cave-kids, that marriage was the next logical step in Evolution. I'm sure of it. Then came the "mutual agreement". Those tricks had to keep other tricks from stealing the women they loved and the cavewomen had to keep other vixens from stealing their tricks, "benefits", and favors. So, a few of those tricks and cavewomen got together one day and promised to be faithful to each other and thus, the invention of Marriage.
Well, it could've happened like that. Whaddaya think? Do you think that's how Marriage was invented? I bet it was.
And, I bet some of those cavewomen and tricks didn't want to get married - just like a lot cavewomen and tricks today don't want to get married.
Some of these women today realize how much power they have over these poor losers. The power to manipulate and to control.
Some of these prospects today are really players and hoes with 3, 4, or 5 tricks in their stable!
Those poor dumb tricks don't know they're being played for fools. Each one thinks he or she is in an exclusive relationship. But, they're being cheated and played out by these sirens...
Aha, but men aren't the only one's trickin'. We know there are many females out here trickin' too. They'll do all kinds of favors and spend money and buy gifts in order to keep from losing their prospects too. They want to keep him (or her) interested and hanging around also.
All of these tricks are driving the costs of courtship up to unsightly proportions!
These prospects and players see that these tricks out here are willing to do almost anything for their love, "friendship", or attention and they make these tricks pay royally.
Tricks have ruined the game of love with all of their begging and overly generous ways.
The trick will "loan" a lot of his or her money to the prospect.
The trick will pay some or all of the prospects bills to keep the prospect hanging around.
The trick will perform all kinds of special favors for the prospect like
running errands,
fixing his or her car,
exterminating mice and ants,
doing home repairs for the prospect,
taking the prospect (and the prospect's family) out to eat,
helping the prospect move from one house or apartment to another,
surprising the prospect with gifts and trinkets,
etc, etc, etc.
A lot of tricks will do this stuff on their own without any encouragement from the prospect. And, the reason why tricks do this is because they are afraid of losing the prospect to someone else. They also do this to try to keep the prospect from losing interest. Sometimes tricks do these things because they're afraid of being rejected.
But, when the money runs out or the tricks stop spending or stop doing favors, the prospect is gone. Then, it's up to someone like you or me to fill that void. They expect US to pay and compensate them for their time and affections. But, this is what I say: Either you like me for me or you don't. And, if you don't, you're ass can keep moving. I don't give a sh*t if you talk to me or not.
The problem is: A lot of tricks out here have no confidence in themselves. They don't believe a man or woman could like them for who they are. So, they try very very very hard to establish a relationship quickly.
They try to rush through the courtship before the guy or girl gets away.
These tricks out here are doing WAY too much for a hook-up.
And worst of it is: the world is full of more tricks than you can shake a stick at.
There are a lot of tricks out here trying to buy love and/or a relationship and driving the price of romance through the roof!
Trickin' has become a booming business for some of these True Players and hoes out here. They're getting all kinds of freebies, favors, perks, and benefits. No wonder so many women out here are "High Maintenance" and delusional about their role in a relationship.
Trickin' is definitely big business for the retail and moving industry! I'm in retail so you know I'm thankful to those tricks out there who give their support.
But, as I've said, some of those tricks out there do WAY too much...
There are tricks out there selling their souls to the Devil just to have a nice warm cuddly babe on their side. It's sad and pitiful...
There ain't no telling how many tricks there are out there giving all they can give for "friendship". Ain't no telling how many tricks there are out there that are giving excessively to win someone's love. But let me tell you the difference between the two and how each one has hurt the game of Love.
I hate to do it, but I've got to expose these tricks right now and put those poor lost souls and suckers back on the good path. Well, some tricks you can't convert. But, if you've recently started trickin' or HAVE been trickin' and didn't know it, this might open your eyes.
There are actually THREE types of tricks - maybe more if you want to get into details but three basic ones.
The first trick is a sucker. He or she probably has low self-esteem. He or she may be shy and lack confidence. This trick believes he or she HAS to give money and gifts to keep the prospect satisfied and interested. He or she knows no other way of courting a prospect.
The second trick is manipulator. Sometimes (maybe often) a player or a hoe. This trick knows what his prospects like and what motivates them and uses it to get what he/she wants from them. These types of tricks give in order to receive. Usually, they trade money and/or gifts for intimacy.
The third trick is a benefactor. This trick is usually lonely and wants to help his prospects in anyway he or she can - with money, shelter, transportation, advice, food, or whatever he (or she) can give. This trick is also known as "Captain Save-A-Hoe".
***NOTE***
Not all tricks have low confidence or low self-esteem. There are confident tricks out there with plenty of money who spend royally and shower prospects with gifts and trinkets. These tricks do this out of pride. Pride for their Success. Pride for what they have, what they've accomplished, and what they are able to do - which is spend Big Money. This is what gives them the most pleasure out of life. These types of tricks usually are cheaters and benefactors to other prospects.
So, trickin' goes on all the time. Sometimes, there is trickin' going on in an established relationship when one partner is desperately trying to hold on to the other partner or trying to buy his or her love.
If you use your "third-eye" you can see it. Trickin' is everywhere.
I know in some cultures and countries that some brides and grooms are required to pay a dowry. But, that dowry should be for the sake of the relationship. It should be a "safety net" in case of emergencies or hard times. It should be used to build the union between the couple so that they can grow and expand their "empire". It should be for the BOTH OF THEM. And, if one gives a dowry, the other should be smart enough to help manage it and not waste it. One shouldn't have to pay for Love.
Tell those tricks to cut it out - or, at least, slow down. They're gonna drive us all into the poor house. Tell them "they can't buy Love". Tell them they won't win their lover's heart or respect by being a doormat or a lap-dog. Kissing their prospect's ass won't work.
Trickin' can get you sex - sometimes. But, it will never buy you True Love.
I can't lie. I've done some trickin' myself. But, I'm a changed man. I don't mind giving. But, ain't no way I'm gonna give all I've got - especially to a prospect or a hoe.
And, if you've been trickin', don't be ashamed - step up your game.
Give a little. Save a lot. And beware of players and tricks. They might try to con you out of everything you've got.
- loveqna
Fantasizing Over Old Love Or An Ex Can Bring You Down
I was thinking about this post a lot over the past couple of months.
I kept wondering "what's so bad about reminiscing over Old Love?" And to be honest, there are some good points and some bad points.
Sure, we learn from our mistakes and the things that we do right in our past relationships - and that's a good thing because it helps improve our intuition and instincts. But, how do the memories and the good times that we miss affect us negatively?
Let me share this with you:
Sometimes I DO think about past relationships, Ex-girlfriends, old Admirers, and one-night stands that could've turned into beautiful long-term relationships...
Sometimes I wonder about "what could've been".
Sometimes I think about old love and shake my head thinking: "I let a Good Girl walk right out of my life."
Sometimes I wonder What would my life would have been like if I had committed myself to that special girl.
"Where would we be now?"
"Maybe I'd be a lot better off."
"Maybe I'd be a lot happier."
"Maybe we'd both be happier."
"Maybe I'd be more successful." Or, at least, living a better life.
I can't help thinking about those things sometimes...
A lot of us think about the "what ifs". "What if I had done this or did that or blah, blah, blah..."
But one can't sit around thinking about stuff like that all the time. Or, "living in the past". It'll only make you miserable and keep you from growing. It will make you despise your life.
It may even keep you from moving forward in your new relationship. Or, improving your CURRENT relationship.
I'd be in denial and misleading you if I said that one or more of those "old flames" aren't thinking about you right now, because I'm 100% sure that at least ONE of those past lovers ARE thinking about you. It's a fact. You see the proof in those "on again-off again relationships". I'm talking about the types that are LONG-TERM "on again-off again relationships".
The type of relationship in which "couples" will date or be "friends with benefits" for months or years, then stop seeing each other for months or years, then date again for weeks, months, or years - even though they are married to someone else or involved with someone else - then, not see each other for a while, then (MAYBE), hook-up again.
They're not compatible enough to be a "real couple". But, they can't stop thinking about each other all the time. They can't seem to let each other go.
Or, one is simply using the other one for sex and companionship as they would use a convenient store for a hot dog or a cup of coffee. That's the case sometimes too.
But, I'd be lying if I said reconnecting with an Ex or reuniting with an Ex would ruin your life. Only Time and Circumstance can say for sure.
BUT!
Do you really want to ruin the good thing you have right now sobbing over something that may never happen? Or, something that might not bring any real benefits into your life? Or, something that may not be what you imagine and dream that it would be???
Do you really want to put your life on hold, neglect your lover (or family), or put all of your mental energy into someone you might not ever see again? Or, someone who may have moved on with their life? Or, someone who may have completely changed?
It's sad to say, but there are a lot of people out there that fantasize and daydream about their old high school days and grade school days and their old "puppy-love" relationships instead of trying to deal with their current reality and the love they have right now. And, the old flame that they're reminiscing over and fantasizing about might not be thinking about them at all. And, even if the old flame IS thinking about this "dreamer", the old flame might not be worth a damn... People change. He or she might not look the same, act the same, or have the same personality.
These dreamers need to wake-up and stop all of this fantasizing and living in the past and move on with their lives.
Instead, they're searching high and low on the Internet (and on Facebook) and taking notice of every "familiar" face on the street they see trying to find that old girlfriend or boyfriend or lover and it does nothing but make them more detached from their current life.
If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Let it happen. Don't waste your life searching for old love. You may be disappointed.
Don't make the situation you're in worse by neglecting your current life and reminiscing over your old life. You can make this love-life great by putting more effort and love into it - providing it doesn't suck like hell and you and your current lover are compatible.
The relationship (or marriage) you're in right now could be the greatest love-affair of your life if you gave it half a chance.
Yeah, I know, it's easier said than done.
You don't have to tell me that. I know from experience. Almost every girl I date, commit to, or consider approaching, I compare to an Ex or to my experience of past relationships. I know what I want and what I DON'T want. But, the reality is: You really never know what you're gonna get or how much what you want and need has changed until you're DEEPLY engaged and involved in your new relationship, new Lover, NEW life. So, I do all I can to fight those old memories. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, it don't. Sometimes, I go back to an Ex - for fun or to find Love. So far, it's only been all "fun". I haven't found anything beyond that.
Other people have been luckier, but it's all "chance". You can't predict Love or who you'll love.
That old flame (or Ex) may bring some thrills and excitement back into your life and boost your self-esteem but there's a chance he or she might not. You may be happier with the person you're with right now.
That old squeeze may have become something or someone you don't like and shatter your dreams and fantasies and vision of a utopia long gone.
This guy at work was telling me about an Ex he once loved 20 years ago. They dated for less than a year but he admitted that he still thought of her sometimes. Even when he was married. Now, he's divorced. He has a new girlfriend. And, this old flame found him on Facebook. She's been thinking about this guy every now and then too. She told him she wanted to see him. She wanted to get back together or at least see each other again because she is still in love. But, this guy was shocked when she mentioned that she was lonely and that her husband is sick and dying. And, she has several children now. And, a few of them are young children...
Now, he admits that he still wants to see this woman and possibly hook-up with her again. But, I think his love for her has diminished. And, I think either way she will end up with a broken heart. He says he's gonna see her again but he doesn't think he's gonna stick around. Especially since the husband is sick and dying.
He's surprised that she is willing to cheat under the circumstances because he knows FROM THE PAST she is a good girl, but at the same time, he is willing to see her because he fantasizes and reminisces over what they once had.
I think he is already a little disappointed and she will have a rude awakening when she finds out how disappointed he really is. He's not gonna put a lot of effort into starting something new with her and a bunch of kids. This guy is in his forties. He's got teenage kids. His girlfriend has teenage kids. Do you think he wants to start over again with a handful of toddlers???
It's not gonna last...
It's sad but true.
That's Life.
Don't stop and daydream or you could miss out on what's going on around you right now. Don't fantasize about the past.
People change, situations change, lifestyles change, interests change, beliefs change, habits change, personalities change.
Your hopes and dreams may be shattered.
You may actually be turned-off by what you see. That's been the case many times too. Not just with me but with lots of folks.
And, even if you DO hook-up with an old flame and he or she is still Hot, be sure this "NEW" Love is not going to ruin your life or bring you down. Be sure the rewards are worth the risk.
If you're single, you may not have much to lose except time and money. But, those who are involved had better think hard before they make that leap, go back to an old love, and give up the good thing they've got.
I know I'm sending mixed signals with this so let me conclude this post with a few points:
1. Don't put your lover or life on hold fantasizing about old love. You might be MORE disappointed.
2. Don't run to old love to save you from the misery you're in now. You might waste a lot of precious time and GOOD times. Try to improve the relationship you have right now (if you've thought about it and feel there's a chance it's worth improving).
3. The 14th REASON People WILL CHEAT is because they believe they're in love with an old flame. This particular person could be an old friend from school, an Ex from school, or a summer fling.
Whatever you do, don't live in the past. It may make you miserable and hate your life. Live, have fun, and get the most out of all you have right now.
- loveqna
--------------------------------------------------------
Michael Jackson - Remember The Time
Video provided by - michaeljacksonVEVO
I kept wondering "what's so bad about reminiscing over Old Love?" And to be honest, there are some good points and some bad points.
Sure, we learn from our mistakes and the things that we do right in our past relationships - and that's a good thing because it helps improve our intuition and instincts. But, how do the memories and the good times that we miss affect us negatively?
Let me share this with you:
Sometimes I DO think about past relationships, Ex-girlfriends, old Admirers, and one-night stands that could've turned into beautiful long-term relationships...
Sometimes I wonder about "what could've been".
Sometimes I think about old love and shake my head thinking: "I let a Good Girl walk right out of my life."
Sometimes I wonder What would my life would have been like if I had committed myself to that special girl.
"Where would we be now?"
"Maybe I'd be a lot better off."
"Maybe I'd be a lot happier."
"Maybe we'd both be happier."
"Maybe I'd be more successful." Or, at least, living a better life.
I can't help thinking about those things sometimes...
A lot of us think about the "what ifs". "What if I had done this or did that or blah, blah, blah..."
But one can't sit around thinking about stuff like that all the time. Or, "living in the past". It'll only make you miserable and keep you from growing. It will make you despise your life.
It may even keep you from moving forward in your new relationship. Or, improving your CURRENT relationship.
I'd be in denial and misleading you if I said that one or more of those "old flames" aren't thinking about you right now, because I'm 100% sure that at least ONE of those past lovers ARE thinking about you. It's a fact. You see the proof in those "on again-off again relationships". I'm talking about the types that are LONG-TERM "on again-off again relationships".
The type of relationship in which "couples" will date or be "friends with benefits" for months or years, then stop seeing each other for months or years, then date again for weeks, months, or years - even though they are married to someone else or involved with someone else - then, not see each other for a while, then (MAYBE), hook-up again.
They're not compatible enough to be a "real couple". But, they can't stop thinking about each other all the time. They can't seem to let each other go.
Or, one is simply using the other one for sex and companionship as they would use a convenient store for a hot dog or a cup of coffee. That's the case sometimes too.
But, I'd be lying if I said reconnecting with an Ex or reuniting with an Ex would ruin your life. Only Time and Circumstance can say for sure.
BUT!
Do you really want to ruin the good thing you have right now sobbing over something that may never happen? Or, something that might not bring any real benefits into your life? Or, something that may not be what you imagine and dream that it would be???
Do you really want to put your life on hold, neglect your lover (or family), or put all of your mental energy into someone you might not ever see again? Or, someone who may have moved on with their life? Or, someone who may have completely changed?
It's sad to say, but there are a lot of people out there that fantasize and daydream about their old high school days and grade school days and their old "puppy-love" relationships instead of trying to deal with their current reality and the love they have right now. And, the old flame that they're reminiscing over and fantasizing about might not be thinking about them at all. And, even if the old flame IS thinking about this "dreamer", the old flame might not be worth a damn... People change. He or she might not look the same, act the same, or have the same personality.
These dreamers need to wake-up and stop all of this fantasizing and living in the past and move on with their lives.
Instead, they're searching high and low on the Internet (and on Facebook) and taking notice of every "familiar" face on the street they see trying to find that old girlfriend or boyfriend or lover and it does nothing but make them more detached from their current life.
If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Let it happen. Don't waste your life searching for old love. You may be disappointed.
Don't make the situation you're in worse by neglecting your current life and reminiscing over your old life. You can make this love-life great by putting more effort and love into it - providing it doesn't suck like hell and you and your current lover are compatible.
The relationship (or marriage) you're in right now could be the greatest love-affair of your life if you gave it half a chance.
Yeah, I know, it's easier said than done.
You don't have to tell me that. I know from experience. Almost every girl I date, commit to, or consider approaching, I compare to an Ex or to my experience of past relationships. I know what I want and what I DON'T want. But, the reality is: You really never know what you're gonna get or how much what you want and need has changed until you're DEEPLY engaged and involved in your new relationship, new Lover, NEW life. So, I do all I can to fight those old memories. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, it don't. Sometimes, I go back to an Ex - for fun or to find Love. So far, it's only been all "fun". I haven't found anything beyond that.
Other people have been luckier, but it's all "chance". You can't predict Love or who you'll love.
That old flame (or Ex) may bring some thrills and excitement back into your life and boost your self-esteem but there's a chance he or she might not. You may be happier with the person you're with right now.
That old squeeze may have become something or someone you don't like and shatter your dreams and fantasies and vision of a utopia long gone.
This guy at work was telling me about an Ex he once loved 20 years ago. They dated for less than a year but he admitted that he still thought of her sometimes. Even when he was married. Now, he's divorced. He has a new girlfriend. And, this old flame found him on Facebook. She's been thinking about this guy every now and then too. She told him she wanted to see him. She wanted to get back together or at least see each other again because she is still in love. But, this guy was shocked when she mentioned that she was lonely and that her husband is sick and dying. And, she has several children now. And, a few of them are young children...
Now, he admits that he still wants to see this woman and possibly hook-up with her again. But, I think his love for her has diminished. And, I think either way she will end up with a broken heart. He says he's gonna see her again but he doesn't think he's gonna stick around. Especially since the husband is sick and dying.
He's surprised that she is willing to cheat under the circumstances because he knows FROM THE PAST she is a good girl, but at the same time, he is willing to see her because he fantasizes and reminisces over what they once had.
I think he is already a little disappointed and she will have a rude awakening when she finds out how disappointed he really is. He's not gonna put a lot of effort into starting something new with her and a bunch of kids. This guy is in his forties. He's got teenage kids. His girlfriend has teenage kids. Do you think he wants to start over again with a handful of toddlers???
It's not gonna last...
It's sad but true.
That's Life.
Don't stop and daydream or you could miss out on what's going on around you right now. Don't fantasize about the past.
People change, situations change, lifestyles change, interests change, beliefs change, habits change, personalities change.
Your hopes and dreams may be shattered.
You may actually be turned-off by what you see. That's been the case many times too. Not just with me but with lots of folks.
And, even if you DO hook-up with an old flame and he or she is still Hot, be sure this "NEW" Love is not going to ruin your life or bring you down. Be sure the rewards are worth the risk.
If you're single, you may not have much to lose except time and money. But, those who are involved had better think hard before they make that leap, go back to an old love, and give up the good thing they've got.
I know I'm sending mixed signals with this so let me conclude this post with a few points:
1. Don't put your lover or life on hold fantasizing about old love. You might be MORE disappointed.
2. Don't run to old love to save you from the misery you're in now. You might waste a lot of precious time and GOOD times. Try to improve the relationship you have right now (if you've thought about it and feel there's a chance it's worth improving).
3. The 14th REASON People WILL CHEAT is because they believe they're in love with an old flame. This particular person could be an old friend from school, an Ex from school, or a summer fling.
Whatever you do, don't live in the past. It may make you miserable and hate your life. Live, have fun, and get the most out of all you have right now.
- loveqna
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Michael Jackson - Remember The Time
Video provided by - michaeljacksonVEVO
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